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A priest, two priests, and a parrot walk into a bar.

Actually wait… the bartender is a parrot, and he was already there. The parrot says to the bartender "Why didn't you just say three priests?"

The first priest slowly inserts his fist into his own asshole. He works his way up to the wrist, then to the elbow. Soon enough, his entire arm up to his shoulder is wedged into his ass.

The second priest turns to the third priest and says "Well, I didn't ass-shoulder that one coming."

Why are niggers called niggers?
Because they are niggers.

So a priest and a rabbi are walking in a park one day and the priest says to the rabbi "i'm bored let's fuck some childern". The rabbi replies "Out of what?".

Knock knock

What's the soup between chop pea and your liver's difference?

Any liver can live but no pea can soup up your penis size.

What's the worst part about a black family of 4 driving a 2001 Ford Excursion off a cliff?

A 2001 Ford Excursion can seat 9.

So an autistic kid walks into a bar and- Brutally murdered by middle aged housewives

Boy walks in on his dad masturbating. Never having seen anyone do this, he says, "Daddy, what are you doing?"

His dad replies, "Don't worry son, you'll be doing it soon enough!"

"Really? Why's that, Daddy?"

"Well, my arm is getting tired…"

What does Princess Diana and Pink Floyd have in common?
The Wall was their last big hit.

NSFW source

What is worse?
Five dead babies in one trashbag?
or
One dead baby in five trashbags?

Who's there?

Ach   

A priest, a compulsive liar, and a pedophile walks into a bar.
The bartender said "Drinking alone tonight?"

I don't know you. Get the fuck out of my door.

ring ring "Hi. Is your refrigerator running?"

"No" "…" beeeep beeeep beeeep beeeep

How do you get a bunch of Mexican's to roll down a hill? By rolling a penny down a hill.

How do you know who's the richest Mexican? The one who gets the penny.

A Priest, a Priest, and a Priest walk into a bar.
Either that or the same Priest walked in three times.