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Here's the plan: Take a song, any song. Select a small section of lyrics, then completely ruin it in the best way possible.

My lyrics are just the first small section.
Changed to "I can speak clearly now, the gag balls gone!"

HERE

Apologies to Natalie Imbruglia…

There's nothing where he used to lie
The conversation has run dry
That's what's going o-on
So I'll be watching porn

I need to get laid
This is how I feel
I'm horny and ashamed
That I cannot score
A screw would be just great
But that's not happening
So I'm giving up and
I'm gonna watch some porn
I could not get laid
I'll be watching porn

… porn …

(cue porn-music interlude)