Forums / Fun! / Just For Fun

320,842 total conversations in 9,947 threads

+ New Thread


Locked Locked
Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Last posted Jul 03, 2011 at 10:22PM EDT. Added Jun 16, 2011 at 12:53PM EDT
64 posts from 28 users

so i herd you leik math jokes:

What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin…

Statistics Canada is hiring mathematicians. Three recent graduates are invited for an interview: one has a degree in pure mathematics, another one in applied math, and the third one obtained his B.Sc. in statistics.
All three are asked the same question: "What is one third plus two thirds?"
The pure mathematician: "It's one."
The applied mathematician takes out his pocket calculator, punches in the numbers, and replies: "It's 0.999999999."
The statistician: "What do you want it to be?"

Because 7 is an abusive father. He is an alcoholic. Every night he comes home to 6, his son, and 9, his wife. He repeatedly beats both of them for hours in a drunken rage. They've tried to call the police. But he just beats them more before they can get to the phone. He even went as far as to block the number of any sort of police or hospital. He even rapes his son. 6 tries to escape, but he simply isn't fast or strong enough to escape 7's alcoholic rage. 7 grabs his son and brings him to his bedroom. They open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

Philip J. Fry wrote:

Because 7 is an abusive father. He is an alcoholic. Every night he comes home to 6, his son, and 9, his wife. He repeatedly beats both of them for hours in a drunken rage. They've tried to call the police. But he just beats them more before they can get to the phone. He even went as far as to block the number of any sort of police or hospital. He even rapes his son. 6 tries to escape, but he simply isn't fast or strong enough to escape 7's alcoholic rage. 7 grabs his son and brings him to his bedroom. They open the door, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur.

I got idea! Put a magnet on the police and a magnet on seven, and science and shit happens!

Obvious internet newf*ckingfag is obvious.
RussianFedora Wannabe, he is.

And the answer to OP's feeble question:
Seven is an open mouth. Problem solved.

Her paled body was still aching with pain when she awoke on the concrete floor, her face still damp with blood. Another day, and still no light in the cell. She waved her hand in front of her face. Nothing.

"Six. Good to see you awake, Six." That voice. That voice again, playing over the usual static. "Before you return to your usual fetal position, please turn your attention to the light. Yes."

A candle's light flickered into existence from the center of the cell. Its light illuminated just enough to allow the trap door above to be visible. Strange. She did not remember the cell being this large before.

"Are you paying attention to the door, Six? Good. Go just a little bit closer." With what little strength she had, she crawled toward the candle. "A little bit more. Don't be shy." She stopped, just six inches away from it. The faint light showed her her own body for the first time in forever. She found the number 6 cut into her left hand. "Perfect. Now, whatever you do, don't look up. Keep your eyes open, but don't look up."

Her eyes remained fixed upon the candlelight; the voice's static broken by the sound of metal grinding against metal. Three drops of blood fell from above, and splattered onto the floor. At once, she shut her eyes, only to open them when something clacked against the floor. A human tibia, bits of flesh still attached at the joints. Though startled, she remembered not to look up. More drops of blood fell. Then another rattle against the concrete. A forearm and hand, liberated of their meat. She backed up a little, still staring at the bones in front of her. A faster trickle of blood poured from above, giving way to the next "gift" – the remains of the sacrificed skeleton, held by thin strands of flesh.

"Look at it, Six. Look closely."

Reluctantly, she examined the body. Its left hand was intact, skin and all remaining. And carved into it was the number 9.

"Here is your friend. He failed, unlike you." The grinding noise started again, signaling the trap door's close. "Seven sends his regards, by the way."

Statistics show that if you achieve:
1. post a lame joke
2. quadruple post
3. say you're smarter than people
4. ask for meme help
5. says poop
6. mentions Justin Bieber and
7. say that Chuck Norris didn't exist ,
All within 12 posts, you can receive approximately 144 negative karma, or maybe even more.

Skeletor-sm

This thread is closed to new posts.

This thread was locked by an administrator.

Why don't you start a new thread instead?

'lo! You must login or signup first!