So I'm walking around a proudly American store, and I decided to get me some mangoes, so I go to the mango section AND EVERY FUCKING MANGO HAS BUG EYES AND SAYS "KAR-WHY DES-SUE?" AND THEN SOME MAGIC FUCKING FLOATY PINK PANSY FLOWERS APPEARS.
FUCK.
So me, being a respectable AMERICAN, decided to get some milk instead. I ask the deli, who in turn replies, "we only have annie moo milk" AND SHE SHOWS ME A FUCKING COW WITH NO STRIPES AND ONE RED SPOT AND BUG EYES.
My American sense starts to tingle, as if I'm losing my sanity.
I hear a massive eagle cry.
I see Japanese imperial soldiers break into the store.
My America sense is in overdrive.
I fall to my knees, as I call out, "OH, GREAT BALD FUCK BIRD OF TESTOSTERONE, GIVE ME MURICAN"
I am suddenly surrounded by legions of bug-eyed humans.
Suddenly, I feel a sudden rise in my trousers.
I see a bald eagle's head burst out of it.
With all my powers combined, I become Captain Bird Cock.
There will be no more animoo's.
Nobody Is As Ready For Pillowy Mounds Of Mashed Potatoes As Uncle Phil