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Anon finally gets it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (You) 579 KB PNG 07/03/23 (Mon)08:05:27 No.73885693 >comes to 4chan to interact anonymously >goes to depressing/delusioned threads and gives advice >hopes to improve the life of those interacted with >keeps tabs open and waits patiently for replies >no (You)s >i'm not interactive with people on the internet, i'm just talking to the wall >starts picking fights a larping as a bigot >many (You)s >people are writing back immediately >i'm interacting with people on the internet >i get it : Anonymous >>73885693 (OP) # you don't understand. Being a bigot IS helping people. 07/03/23 (Mon) 08:12:34 No.73885741

: Anonymous (You) 579 KB PNG 07/03/23 (Mon)08:05:27 No.73885693 >comes to 4chan to interact anonymously >goes to depressing/delusioned threads and gives advice >hopes to improve the life of those interacted with >keeps tabs open and waits patiently for replies >no (You)s >i'm not interactive with people on the internet, i'm just talking to the wall >starts picking fights a larping as a bigot >many (You)s >people are writing back immediately >i'm interacting with people on the internet >i get it : Anonymous >>73885693 (OP) # you don't understand. Being a bigot IS helping people. 07/03/23 (Mon) 08:12:34 No.73885741

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Anon never matured past 4chan | /r/Greentext

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Anon is upset | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 7 Replies : Anonymous >>73885296 # For eating fruit the "wrong" way >>73886480 # 07/02/23(Sun)22:22:09 No.73885287 I hate my mom. She yells at me for doing something she f------ taught me to do my whole life. : Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)22:25:21 No.73885319 View Thread : Anonymous >>73885295 # Not OP but my mom could die right now and I would just be coming home to play video games and eat normally. It felt so good when I left her house for another country. We haven't talked much in the last 5 years. Dumb people are terrible parents. I will miss my dad though. : Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)22:28:02 No.73885347 : Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)22:41:47 No.73885511 My mom keeps bugging me to take my meds I hate it >>73885319 # how do you even eat fruit the wrong way 07/03/23 (Mon)00:59:15 No.73886480 07/03/23 (Mon)01:01:54 No.73886505 >>73885296 # Apparently I stuck the dildo in my ass in the wrong way.

: Anonymous 15 KB JPG 7 Replies : Anonymous >>73885296 # For eating fruit the "wrong" way >>73886480 # 07/02/23(Sun)22:22:09 No.73885287 I hate my mom. She yells at me for doing something she f------ taught me to do my whole life. : Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)22:25:21 No.73885319 View Thread : Anonymous >>73885295 # Not OP but my mom could die right now and I would just be coming home to play video games and eat normally. It felt so good when I left her house for another country. We haven't talked much in the last 5 years. Dumb people are terrible parents. I will miss my dad though. : Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)22:28:02 No.73885347 : Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)22:41:47 No.73885511 My mom keeps bugging me to take my meds I hate it >>73885319 # how do you even eat fruit the wrong way 07/03/23 (Mon)00:59:15 No.73886480 07/03/23 (Mon)01:01:54 No.73886505 >>73885296 # Apparently I stuck the dildo in my ass in the wrong way.

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Anon is a landcuck | /r/Greentext

3h (7/3 5:50) · 642800914 · 34 Re · 11 Img PNG 168KB (475 × 475) · 383.png 8 Replies I'm 3h (7/3 5:51) · 642801016 PNG 421KB (1200 × 1200) 1200px-0382Kyogre.png 4 Replies >>642800914 (OP) >a f------ retarded ner fa ot that doesn't understand living beings need water to survive fixed that for you, landcuck 3h (7/3 5:54) 642801261 PNG 194KB (570 x 570) 0384Rayquaza.png 5 Replies >>642800914 (OP) >>642801016 TWO F------ DECADES AND YOU RETARDS ARE STILL DOING THIS S--- F------ KILL YOURSELVES

3h (7/3 5:50) · 642800914 · 34 Re · 11 Img PNG 168KB (475 × 475) · 383.png 8 Replies I'm 3h (7/3 5:51) · 642801016 PNG 421KB (1200 × 1200) 1200px-0382Kyogre.png 4 Replies >>642800914 (OP) >a f------ retarded ner fa ot that doesn't understand living beings need water to survive fixed that for you, landcuck 3h (7/3 5:54) 642801261 PNG 194KB (570 x 570) 0384Rayquaza.png 5 Replies >>642800914 (OP) >>642801016 TWO F------ DECADES AND YOU RETARDS ARE STILL DOING THIS S--- F------ KILL YOURSELVES

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Anon has a realisation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/03/23 (Mon) 08:31:53 No.901954368 403 KB GIF F--- guys I never realized I was ugly until recently but it's all making sense now >be me, 25 >woman (yeah) >worked in restaurants since 16 >sometimes got creeps but usually left alone >catcalled on streets tho >followed, stalked, harassed, all the normal stuff but never like how my friends were >be now, working in a new restaurant after taking a break >coworkers all pretty 20-something's >makeup, nails, Instagram, etc >men come in for food >ask girls for numbers, socials, name, shift hours >f------ relentless, every single day there's a new one >they never hit on me. Ever. Realized it's always been my friends getting hit on, catcalled, etc if we are together. It's always them. I'm the ugly friend. I'm not even fat, I'm like 110lbs. I'm feminine. I'm fit. Literal hourglass proportions. My face is just f------ ugly. Even the creeps don't want to talk to me once they see my f------ face. I don't WANT creeps, but their standards are 0 and somehow I'm below that. F--- my life.

: Anonymous 07/03/23 (Mon) 08:31:53 No.901954368 403 KB GIF F--- guys I never realized I was ugly until recently but it's all making sense now >be me, 25 >woman (yeah) >worked in restaurants since 16 >sometimes got creeps but usually left alone >catcalled on streets tho >followed, stalked, harassed, all the normal stuff but never like how my friends were >be now, working in a new restaurant after taking a break >coworkers all pretty 20-something's >makeup, nails, Instagram, etc >men come in for food >ask girls for numbers, socials, name, shift hours >f------ relentless, every single day there's a new one >they never hit on me. Ever. Realized it's always been my friends getting hit on, catcalled, etc if we are together. It's always them. I'm the ugly friend. I'm not even fat, I'm like 110lbs. I'm feminine. I'm fit. Literal hourglass proportions. My face is just f------ ugly. Even the creeps don't want to talk to me once they see my f------ face. I don't WANT creeps, but their standards are 0 and somehow I'm below that. F--- my life.

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Anon witnessed the French Revolution | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 30 KB PNG 07/03/23 (Mon)09:41:00 No.73886351 > be me > a sophisticated Frenchman > its a beautiful day in Paris wake up and eat a baguette > finish my breakfast with a c-------- > dress up and go outside to take the tram > find out that its closed due to the violence trigged by the riots > WIWI.exe > call my friend to see if he can pick me up > says he cant because his car got burned in the protest > start walking towards my workplace > stops by a dinner to get snails on the go > I slurp the finest garden snails the French Riviera has ever seen > i finished my meal and head to my office > when I enter i get told that I can just head home again > everything is closed due to the protest > on my way home happily that I got the week off > celebrate by drinking some Bordeaux wine outside in a park > suddenly I see a f------ zebra minding his own business > the wildmen have released the zoo animals during the protest > i rip a part of my baguette and feeds the zebra > just made myself a new friend > I finish my wine up and head home > on my way home i stubble upon a big crowd > I walk trough the crowd but get stopped by the police > try explaining that Im just heading home > gets beaten and thrown in jail for disturbing the peace > WIWI Still better then most of the places in America

: Anonymous 30 KB PNG 07/03/23 (Mon)09:41:00 No.73886351 > be me > a sophisticated Frenchman > its a beautiful day in Paris wake up and eat a baguette > finish my breakfast with a c-------- > dress up and go outside to take the tram > find out that its closed due to the violence trigged by the riots > WIWI.exe > call my friend to see if he can pick me up > says he cant because his car got burned in the protest > start walking towards my workplace > stops by a dinner to get snails on the go > I slurp the finest garden snails the French Riviera has ever seen > i finished my meal and head to my office > when I enter i get told that I can just head home again > everything is closed due to the protest > on my way home happily that I got the week off > celebrate by drinking some Bordeaux wine outside in a park > suddenly I see a f------ zebra minding his own business > the wildmen have released the zoo animals during the protest > i rip a part of my baguette and feeds the zebra > just made myself a new friend > I finish my wine up and head home > on my way home i stubble upon a big crowd > I walk trough the crowd but get stopped by the police > try explaining that Im just heading home > gets beaten and thrown in jail for disturbing the peace > WIWI Still better then most of the places in America

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This is merica | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Bros, what is going on in Amer(...) IT DON'T MATTER >a lot of people can't afford any housing >some people are spending 50-60% of their income or more on housing >rents are only going up >gas is $5/gallon or more >used cars cost as much as new ones >can only get a new car by agreeing to awful near-predatory financing >everything is going up in price, some things have almost doubled S NONE OF THIS MATTERS. 89 KB JPG can 07/03/23 (Mon)09:40:02 No.73886343 >wages are not increasing >employers have as few people on staff as they possibly >average employee is doing at least three people's work >guys aren't going to college anymore >people can't afford to start a family These are just a few of the economic issues, this isn't even getting into political problems. Are these the end times for 'merica?

Anonymous Bros, what is going on in Amer(...) IT DON'T MATTER >a lot of people can't afford any housing >some people are spending 50-60% of their income or more on housing >rents are only going up >gas is $5/gallon or more >used cars cost as much as new ones >can only get a new car by agreeing to awful near-predatory financing >everything is going up in price, some things have almost doubled S NONE OF THIS MATTERS. 89 KB JPG can 07/03/23 (Mon)09:40:02 No.73886343 >wages are not increasing >employers have as few people on staff as they possibly >average employee is doing at least three people's work >guys aren't going to college anymore >people can't afford to start a family These are just a few of the economic issues, this isn't even getting into political problems. Are these the end times for 'merica?

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Anon almost got trapped | /r/Greentext

Doesn't seem to be any cringe around he- 61 KB JPG >Be me, 19yo uni student >Sit near my uni waiting for lessons >A guy sits next to me >We start talking >15 minutes later he invites me to drink later this day That evening >Come to a bar >See him >Sit down next to him >Start drinking and chatting, seems like a nice guy >When we leave he pays for me >"What a cool dude!" Next day >Come to uni >Tell my friend about this and mention the place >He tells me its a gay bar >Tfw he was hitting on me >Tfw i didn't even object >Tfw i would actually meet him again

Doesn't seem to be any cringe around he- 61 KB JPG >Be me, 19yo uni student >Sit near my uni waiting for lessons >A guy sits next to me >We start talking >15 minutes later he invites me to drink later this day That evening >Come to a bar >See him >Sit down next to him >Start drinking and chatting, seems like a nice guy >When we leave he pays for me >"What a cool dude!" Next day >Come to uni >Tell my friend about this and mention the place >He tells me its a gay bar >Tfw he was hitting on me >Tfw i didn't even object >Tfw i would actually meet him again

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Anon pretends that he lives in a zombie apocalypse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Zombie apocalypse larp thread. 07/03/23 (Mon)09:20:55 No.73886226 1008 KB JPG ITT, we pretend to survive the zombie apocalypse. >It's getting dark and cold. >The moon is diffused by a thick fog. >Fireteam Delta returns from another raid. >Fireteam Leader Hanako (picrel) sits down and inspects her rifle for any damage. >People huddle around fire barrels to warm up. Some people are eating rations and telling stories from past raids. >Lieutenant Asuka starts to play a melancholic tune on her scratched up guitar. >In the distance, you hear merchants and customers arguing over prices. >Looking over the fence, you can see an array of signal emitters repelling the infected. >Deformed creatures lurk in the shadows and peer into the QZ before running away. what do you do.

: Anonymous Zombie apocalypse larp thread. 07/03/23 (Mon)09:20:55 No.73886226 1008 KB JPG ITT, we pretend to survive the zombie apocalypse. >It's getting dark and cold. >The moon is diffused by a thick fog. >Fireteam Delta returns from another raid. >Fireteam Leader Hanako (picrel) sits down and inspects her rifle for any damage. >People huddle around fire barrels to warm up. Some people are eating rations and telling stories from past raids. >Lieutenant Asuka starts to play a melancholic tune on her scratched up guitar. >In the distance, you hear merchants and customers arguing over prices. >Looking over the fence, you can see an array of signal emitters repelling the infected. >Deformed creatures lurk in the shadows and peer into the QZ before running away. what do you do.

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It's a never ending nightmare | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)14:44:26 No.73300153 64hhqw.png 249 KB PNG >be me >wake up >the nightmare continues

Anonymous 05/13/23(Sat)14:44:26 No.73300153 64hhqw.png 249 KB PNG >be me >wake up >the nightmare continues

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Macronon waves the white flag | /r/Greentext

>French actually working at art exhibition in Paris >Macron is here staring at a painting and laughing with a 20 yo lady >The country is on fire right now, violent riots burning s--- and throwing rocks at police a block away, tear gas in the air 1.55 MB PNG >artist walks up to Macron and says "Faut que tutebouges. Point barre."(Do better and get your ass moving.) >Macron looks mad, based artist says "Il n'y a que des thons dans cette noîte, on se casse?" (Calls the woman Macron is with an UGLY TUNA FISH and demands he leaves) >No fight. Macron hangs his head and leaves defeated BTFO by a visual artist. This country is not gonna make it.

>French actually working at art exhibition in Paris >Macron is here staring at a painting and laughing with a 20 yo lady >The country is on fire right now, violent riots burning s--- and throwing rocks at police a block away, tear gas in the air 1.55 MB PNG >artist walks up to Macron and says "Faut que tutebouges. Point barre."(Do better and get your ass moving.) >Macron looks mad, based artist says "Il n'y a que des thons dans cette noîte, on se casse?" (Calls the woman Macron is with an UGLY TUNA FISH and demands he leaves) >No fight. Macron hangs his head and leaves defeated BTFO by a visual artist. This country is not gonna make it.

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Anon has a little brain fart | /r/Greentext

$Anonymous retarded moments thread 07/02/23(Sun)18:33:33 No.73882164 10 KB JPG >be me >dad asks me to help him move a couch from upstairs to downstairs >mom is at the bottom of the stairwell watching >we have it halfway down the stairs and he says something about lifting it >i wasn't really paying attention so i just say "ok" >he counts down from 3 and i give it a good shove up and forward >it tips over and i see my dad's horrified look for a split second >the couch falls directly onto him and slams him into the stairs >there's a sickening crunch and they both kind of slide down the stairs >we go to the emergency room and they say his spine is fractured >mom asks why the f--- i pushed it so hard >turns out he asked me to move it down one step towards him >he refuses to look at me now i wish i could say this was when i was a little kid but this was last month and i'm 24$

$Anonymous retarded moments thread 07/02/23(Sun)18:33:33 No.73882164 10 KB JPG >be me >dad asks me to help him move a couch from upstairs to downstairs >mom is at the bottom of the stairwell watching >we have it halfway down the stairs and he says something about lifting it >i wasn't really paying attention so i just say "ok" >he counts down from 3 and i give it a good shove up and forward >it tips over and i see my dad's horrified look for a split second >the couch falls directly onto him and slams him into the stairs >there's a sickening crunch and they both kind of slide down the stairs >we go to the emergency room and they say his spine is fractured >mom asks why the f--- i pushed it so hard >turns out he asked me to move it down one step towards him >he refuses to look at me now i wish i could say this was when i was a little kid but this was last month and i'm 24$

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Anon is happy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 33 KB JPG 10/31/19(Thu)19:20:01 No.13146883 >be 1 month neet after my job of a year >my only skill is videogames >think cooking is for girls >discover gordon ramsay >he's angry, but wise and understandable >start watching hall his videos >just made a pumpkin soup after his recipe and my whole family likes it and says good job >get happy that I finally did something on my own and that my family isn't angry or disappointing thank you Ramsay

: Anonymous 33 KB JPG 10/31/19(Thu)19:20:01 No.13146883 >be 1 month neet after my job of a year >my only skill is videogames >think cooking is for girls >discover gordon ramsay >he's angry, but wise and understandable >start watching hall his videos >just made a pumpkin soup after his recipe and my whole family likes it and says good job >get happy that I finally did something on my own and that my family isn't angry or disappointing thank you Ramsay

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fuck those kids stuck in 2012 humor | /r/Greentext

Only in Ohio ohi Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)20:2 >something mildly unusual happens >"only in ohi-" >*gunshot*

Only in Ohio ohi Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)20:2 >something mildly unusual happens >"only in ohi-" >*gunshot*

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Biden Is Gone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 5oltGCpZ) Joe Biden is dead 07/01/23(Sat)01:34:20 No.432819086 Don't ask me how I know this but Joe Biden passed away just over an hour ago from a massive heart attack. The White House is currently in a scramble and Kamala Harris is being prepared to be sworn in. Media have been told to remain silent until given the all clear to report. It's expect the White House will give the all clear within the next hour. IT'S HAPPENING 446 KB JPG

Anonymous (ID: 5oltGCpZ) Joe Biden is dead 07/01/23(Sat)01:34:20 No.432819086 Don't ask me how I know this but Joe Biden passed away just over an hour ago from a massive heart attack. The White House is currently in a scramble and Kamala Harris is being prepared to be sworn in. Media have been told to remain silent until given the all clear to report. It's expect the White House will give the all clear within the next hour. IT'S HAPPENING 446 KB JPG

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ANON WANTS HIS MUMMY | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/21/18(Sat) 19:03:22 No.46967183 >>> >be me >good boy >bitch mommy died ten years ago >Bones lying in the corner of my room >I have done unthinkable things to that corpse. >No more tendies > no more hunny mussy >no more dewey >no more internet >have to hack neighbors crappy internet in order to watch anime >My once portly frame is now only a meager 500 pounds >Litterally just skin and bones >Refuse to becme a wagecuck >Actually go outside and ask for good boy points >People treat me, a young 40 year old baby boy, like an inferior >give up. >Go to neighbors internet >Find ressurection spell >draw magic circle >complete with drawings of tendies >Put bitch mommies bones into circle >say magic chant >My majestic man boobs flop around as I wave my arms up and down in front of the circle >demons fly around, flesh starts to grow on bitch mommy >After everything settles, mommy is asleep on the circle >I wake her up >"Mommy, Mommy, give me chicken tendies!" >Mommy's eyes open >They are red >Demon mommy screeches >Loud, but not loud enough. >You want a contest, mommy? > I let out an autistic REEEEEEEEEEEE to end all autistic REEEEEES. >Demon mommy cowers before my good boy might >Put her on leash, force her to make tendies for the rest of our lives >mfw Anon is a good boy

Anonymous 07/21/18(Sat) 19:03:22 No.46967183 >>> >be me >good boy >bitch mommy died ten years ago >Bones lying in the corner of my room >I have done unthinkable things to that corpse. >No more tendies > no more hunny mussy >no more dewey >no more internet >have to hack neighbors crappy internet in order to watch anime >My once portly frame is now only a meager 500 pounds >Litterally just skin and bones >Refuse to becme a wagecuck >Actually go outside and ask for good boy points >People treat me, a young 40 year old baby boy, like an inferior >give up. >Go to neighbors internet >Find ressurection spell >draw magic circle >complete with drawings of tendies >Put bitch mommies bones into circle >say magic chant >My majestic man boobs flop around as I wave my arms up and down in front of the circle >demons fly around, flesh starts to grow on bitch mommy >After everything settles, mommy is asleep on the circle >I wake her up >"Mommy, Mommy, give me chicken tendies!" >Mommy's eyes open >They are red >Demon mommy screeches >Loud, but not loud enough. >You want a contest, mommy? > I let out an autistic REEEEEEEEEEEE to end all autistic REEEEEES. >Demon mommy cowers before my good boy might >Put her on leash, force her to make tendies for the rest of our lives >mfw Anon is a good boy

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It's just anon and his dog....... | /r/Greentext

31 KB PNG >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea >I will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

31 KB PNG >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea >I will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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ANON GOES TO WALMART | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO FCB0B76B-7778-43F5-9077-379C7C05 (...).jpg, 33KiB, 495x495 NEET STORIES Anonymous Wed 14 Jun 2023 16:07:24 No.73675470 >finally give in to mummy's demands and take a trip to the mall >in Walmart, browsing tendies >comparing two brands while singing the tendies song under my breath >"tendies tendies ten-dies, 'til the hunger end-ies" >start tapping my foot >"ten-dies ten-dies ten-dies, don't share them with your friend-ies" >start dancing in the aisle >sing at the top of my voice >"OH TENDIES TENDIES TEN-DIES, GOTTA LOVE THEM TEN-DIES" >mfw I still have 9863 GBP left over >security approaches me and asks me to leave because I'm scaring people >I keep singing and dancing, pretending they're not there >the mother comes over and starts yelling at me >can't hear you, bitch >and then she f------ slaps me >she SLAPS.ME. >rip open a bag of tendies and start scattering them in the air like confetti as I bop down the aisle >one hits a small child in the eye, it starts mewling View Report >YOU DO NOT F------ TOUCH ANON GOODBOY UNLESS YOU ARE FEEDING HIM, CHANGING HIM OR TUCKING HIM IN >give her a hard shove >she falls on her bum >grab a handful of frozen tendies and force feed them to her while singing at the top of my voice >security guard es to tase me >the prongs bounce off my armoured trenchcoat >slowly turn to face him with what I think is a triumphant grin >he's holding a little canister >starts spraying it in my face >hah, good luck getting that pepper spray past these shades fucko >start laughing and breathe some of it in accidentally >OH F--- THIS S--- BURNS LIKE THE SPICIEST MEMES >lash out, hit him in the head and he falls over >scratching at my throat, can barely breathe >nose is gushing snot >swallow some and start puking >slip on my puke and fall on the floor >start punching myself in the head and kicking the floor while screaming >manage to shout "F------ NORMIES WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME" in between bouts of retching >police arrive and cuff me >fall asleep in the police car and wake up in bed with a note reading "Anon, I'm deducting 1000 GBP for your frankly disgusting behaviour"

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO FCB0B76B-7778-43F5-9077-379C7C05 (...).jpg, 33KiB, 495x495 NEET STORIES Anonymous Wed 14 Jun 2023 16:07:24 No.73675470 >finally give in to mummy's demands and take a trip to the mall >in Walmart, browsing tendies >comparing two brands while singing the tendies song under my breath >"tendies tendies ten-dies, 'til the hunger end-ies" >start tapping my foot >"ten-dies ten-dies ten-dies, don't share them with your friend-ies" >start dancing in the aisle >sing at the top of my voice >"OH TENDIES TENDIES TEN-DIES, GOTTA LOVE THEM TEN-DIES" >mfw I still have 9863 GBP left over >security approaches me and asks me to leave because I'm scaring people >I keep singing and dancing, pretending they're not there >the mother comes over and starts yelling at me >can't hear you, bitch >and then she f------ slaps me >she SLAPS.ME. >rip open a bag of tendies and start scattering them in the air like confetti as I bop down the aisle >one hits a small child in the eye, it starts mewling View Report >YOU DO NOT F------ TOUCH ANON GOODBOY UNLESS YOU ARE FEEDING HIM, CHANGING HIM OR TUCKING HIM IN >give her a hard shove >she falls on her bum >grab a handful of frozen tendies and force feed them to her while singing at the top of my voice >security guard es to tase me >the prongs bounce off my armoured trenchcoat >slowly turn to face him with what I think is a triumphant grin >he's holding a little canister >starts spraying it in my face >hah, good luck getting that pepper spray past these shades fucko >start laughing and breathe some of it in accidentally >OH F--- THIS S--- BURNS LIKE THE SPICIEST MEMES >lash out, hit him in the head and he falls over >scratching at my throat, can barely breathe >nose is gushing snot >swallow some and start puking >slip on my puke and fall on the floor >start punching myself in the head and kicking the floor while screaming >manage to shout "F------ NORMIES WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME" in between bouts of retching >police arrive and cuff me >fall asleep in the police car and wake up in bed with a note reading "Anon, I'm deducting 1000 GBP for your frankly disgusting behaviour"

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CHIEF M’GOODBOY'S TRAIL OF TEARS | /r/Greentext

2016-06-02 02:42:58 Post No. 28990930 Anonymous [Report] Image search: [Google] >be peaceful NEET >living in ancestral basement and using every part of the tendy >cleanface normie called Mommy comes down 364 KB, 819x800 >used to be nice, traded goodboy points and Mountain Dew in exchange for emptying urine jugs in the great plains of the backyard >now says it's her basement, time for me to get job like the normie man, cut greasy hair and wear clothes from American Eagle and Urban Outfitters >tell her this not my basement or hers, all belongs to the Great Waifu, no want dress like the normie man, the wa-uh ayge-ku'k in our language >Mommy say she's had enough, going to call someone >two days later normie man in suit come, say he from the courthouse, gives me what he says is "eviction notice," that house belong to Mommy >realize Mommy has broken our treaty >grab my Katana and whoop out a mighty war RRRRRREEEEEEE and chase normie man >manage to slice off some hair before he runs out of basement >affix hair to wall with tape and perform mighty scalp dance for my tribe of Asian cartoon plastic figurines >Mommy says she calling the cleanfaces in blue clothes to come arrest me >taking me to the NEET reservation called in their language 'Men-tell-hospit El.' >mfw

2016-06-02 02:42:58 Post No. 28990930 Anonymous [Report] Image search: [Google] >be peaceful NEET >living in ancestral basement and using every part of the tendy >cleanface normie called Mommy comes down 364 KB, 819x800 >used to be nice, traded goodboy points and Mountain Dew in exchange for emptying urine jugs in the great plains of the backyard >now says it's her basement, time for me to get job like the normie man, cut greasy hair and wear clothes from American Eagle and Urban Outfitters >tell her this not my basement or hers, all belongs to the Great Waifu, no want dress like the normie man, the wa-uh ayge-ku'k in our language >Mommy say she's had enough, going to call someone >two days later normie man in suit come, say he from the courthouse, gives me what he says is "eviction notice," that house belong to Mommy >realize Mommy has broken our treaty >grab my Katana and whoop out a mighty war RRRRRREEEEEEE and chase normie man >manage to slice off some hair before he runs out of basement >affix hair to wall with tape and perform mighty scalp dance for my tribe of Asian cartoon plastic figurines >Mommy says she calling the cleanfaces in blue clothes to come arrest me >taking me to the NEET reservation called in their language 'Men-tell-hospit El.' >mfw

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The most powerful and memorable anon becomes a political activist | /r/Greentext

File: operation_destroy_kennedy(...).webm (1.88 MB, 1920x1080) I've come C-SPAN OPERATION DESTROY KENNEDY JUNIOR PAVLOVIAN ANUS TRAINING Anonymous (ID: GFEgczoY) 07/02/23(Sun)09:29:37 No.433004093 ► > be me > proven to be most powerful and memorable anon > hobby of editing webms to include my anus halfway through (started with tariq nasheed) > decide to use my power for good > inb4 NYPA, i don't need your help, i will achieve this all by myself I am going to destroy the Presidential aspirations of that uppity Kennedy guy and there is nothing he or you can do about it. > how are you going to achieve this? Easy. See vidrel. I will work tirelessly to insert my anus into clips of RFK Jr's speeches. Every single time you'll open a webm of RFK there's an 80% chance you'll be seeing my handsome anus within 6 seconds. Conditioning 101. This can be your nightmare or a laughriot. You choose. I will also trick you into thinking a .gif is a stillframe only to then be surprised by my third brown eye. > many yucks have been had > revered by anons, receive monikers of Butthole Bandit and A--- Ambusher > "grug happy, but grug think maybe more for life?" > how does this ruin his presidential aspirations? Because I will train your mind to associate RFK to the ugliest butthole ever recorded on video. I am going to go Pavlovian on his ass, using my ass. In this analogy, you're the dogs, RFK is the bell and I am the anus. You will never be able to think of this man as a reasonable candidate without the back of your mind thinking about my anus. EFFECT: You will no longer see Robert Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr. as a serious candidate for Prez. Anonymous (ID: GFEgczoY) 107/02/23(Sun)09:30:05 No.433004141 ► File: completion_list.png (813 KB, 1933x1102) > but anon, he's raised millions for his campaign, and most people have never visited 4chan You are neglecting just how powerful this conditioning is going to be. You will be sitting with friends at a bar and you'll see the muted TV show a small clip of RFK talking. Your brain will be so sure you're about to be buttholebombed that through TELEPATHY your friends will also start believing it. I will implant this mind virus on your friends, you're just the carrier. They won't quite be able to say why, but their opinion of this guy will worsen. You will be talking on the phone to your mom and she'll mention RKF. Within seconds, unable to understand what is happening, the sheer radioactivity your brain is emitting from critical butthole overload will overpower her and she'll start associating RKF with my (slightly) s----caked anus (this has been proven to be specially effective with consanguineous relationships). Forget the Dean Scream. Forget deSantis laughing spastically. Forget the video of Michael Dukkakis slapping a female reporter in Idaho in 1987. This is going to be much bigger than that. > b-b-b-but anon, please be merciful. he's a good man, his uncle or grandfather or whatever got killed by the CIA, leave him alone, he might be a good president her Nah, I don't like his voice is all. It's annoying. I don't want to have to listen that timbre for the next 4 years. I CAN ALREADY GUARANTEE MY ACTIONS WILL MEAN HE WILL NEVER BE PRESIDENT. > has something like this ever been tried? Not as brilliantly of course, but there have been some attempts. Remember when Mossad kept spamming hot Israeli army chicks on the internet? This is just the perfected version of those Jewdi mind tricks, the final level. Believe me, it worked. "Yeah so they do keep killing civilians and stealing their land all the time, but some of them have b-------, so I think ethically speaking Israel is OK" Anonymous (ID: (GFEgczoY) 07/02/23(Sun)09:30:50 No.433004228 ▶ File: greentext.png (391 KB, 1871x749) ADDENDUM: To officials from Trump's campaign reading this: I will 100% change my idea and destroy de Santis through this method. Email me at superdrogasaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttprotondoooooooooooooootme for a quote. LEGAL NOTICE: To the FBI agents reading my post: "Does this message constitute a threat of violence towards this presidential candidate?" No, not at all. Show me the law that states inserting the already legendary video of my anus into an RFK Jr speech is illegal. Show me the exact article in the penal code. I am in fact very sorry for what happened to his father or grandfather or whatever, the one with the hot wife. Also the other one. And the amateur pilot. In the grand scheme of things, I think this is the least bad thing that will ever happen to a Kennedy politician. Sorry, I just find the guy's voice annoying. >>433005565 >I read the title watched the first webm i have already won Anonymous (ID: nnBP2rcP) 07/02/23(Sun)09:43:07 07/02/23(Sun)09:43:07 No.433005565 No.433005565 >>433005648 I don't vote or care but this is an impressive display of your need to be tortured to death in the public square. I will not be reading anything you typed. I read the title watched the first webm, observed your flag, and have deduced that you should be culled. Anyone who associates with you or spreads your message deserves nothing less than being decapitated in front of your mother. Politicians tongue my anus, but you should be made into an example. Anonymous (ID: GFEgczoY) 07/02/23(Sun)09:43:54 No.433005648 ► >>433006200

File: operation_destroy_kennedy(...).webm (1.88 MB, 1920x1080) I've come C-SPAN OPERATION DESTROY KENNEDY JUNIOR PAVLOVIAN ANUS TRAINING Anonymous (ID: GFEgczoY) 07/02/23(Sun)09:29:37 No.433004093 ► > be me > proven to be most powerful and memorable anon > hobby of editing webms to include my anus halfway through (started with tariq nasheed) > decide to use my power for good > inb4 NYPA, i don't need your help, i will achieve this all by myself I am going to destroy the Presidential aspirations of that uppity Kennedy guy and there is nothing he or you can do about it. > how are you going to achieve this? Easy. See vidrel. I will work tirelessly to insert my anus into clips of RFK Jr's speeches. Every single time you'll open a webm of RFK there's an 80% chance you'll be seeing my handsome anus within 6 seconds. Conditioning 101. This can be your nightmare or a laughriot. You choose. I will also trick you into thinking a .gif is a stillframe only to then be surprised by my third brown eye. > many yucks have been had > revered by anons, receive monikers of Butthole Bandit and A--- Ambusher > "grug happy, but grug think maybe more for life?" > how does this ruin his presidential aspirations? Because I will train your mind to associate RFK to the ugliest butthole ever recorded on video. I am going to go Pavlovian on his ass, using my ass. In this analogy, you're the dogs, RFK is the bell and I am the anus. You will never be able to think of this man as a reasonable candidate without the back of your mind thinking about my anus. EFFECT: You will no longer see Robert Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr. as a serious candidate for Prez. Anonymous (ID: GFEgczoY) 107/02/23(Sun)09:30:05 No.433004141 ► File: completion_list.png (813 KB, 1933x1102) > but anon, he's raised millions for his campaign, and most people have never visited 4chan You are neglecting just how powerful this conditioning is going to be. You will be sitting with friends at a bar and you'll see the muted TV show a small clip of RFK talking. Your brain will be so sure you're about to be buttholebombed that through TELEPATHY your friends will also start believing it. I will implant this mind virus on your friends, you're just the carrier. They won't quite be able to say why, but their opinion of this guy will worsen. You will be talking on the phone to your mom and she'll mention RKF. Within seconds, unable to understand what is happening, the sheer radioactivity your brain is emitting from critical butthole overload will overpower her and she'll start associating RKF with my (slightly) s----caked anus (this has been proven to be specially effective with consanguineous relationships). Forget the Dean Scream. Forget deSantis laughing spastically. Forget the video of Michael Dukkakis slapping a female reporter in Idaho in 1987. This is going to be much bigger than that. > b-b-b-but anon, please be merciful. he's a good man, his uncle or grandfather or whatever got killed by the CIA, leave him alone, he might be a good president her Nah, I don't like his voice is all. It's annoying. I don't want to have to listen that timbre for the next 4 years. I CAN ALREADY GUARANTEE MY ACTIONS WILL MEAN HE WILL NEVER BE PRESIDENT. > has something like this ever been tried? Not as brilliantly of course, but there have been some attempts. Remember when Mossad kept spamming hot Israeli army chicks on the internet? This is just the perfected version of those Jewdi mind tricks, the final level. Believe me, it worked. "Yeah so they do keep killing civilians and stealing their land all the time, but some of them have b-------, so I think ethically speaking Israel is OK" Anonymous (ID: (GFEgczoY) 07/02/23(Sun)09:30:50 No.433004228 ▶ File: greentext.png (391 KB, 1871x749) ADDENDUM: To officials from Trump's campaign reading this: I will 100% change my idea and destroy de Santis through this method. Email me at superdrogasaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttprotondoooooooooooooootme for a quote. LEGAL NOTICE: To the FBI agents reading my post: "Does this message constitute a threat of violence towards this presidential candidate?" No, not at all. Show me the law that states inserting the already legendary video of my anus into an RFK Jr speech is illegal. Show me the exact article in the penal code. I am in fact very sorry for what happened to his father or grandfather or whatever, the one with the hot wife. Also the other one. And the amateur pilot. In the grand scheme of things, I think this is the least bad thing that will ever happen to a Kennedy politician. Sorry, I just find the guy's voice annoying. >>433005565 >I read the title watched the first webm i have already won Anonymous (ID: nnBP2rcP) 07/02/23(Sun)09:43:07 07/02/23(Sun)09:43:07 No.433005565 No.433005565 >>433005648 I don't vote or care but this is an impressive display of your need to be tortured to death in the public square. I will not be reading anything you typed. I read the title watched the first webm, observed your flag, and have deduced that you should be culled. Anyone who associates with you or spreads your message deserves nothing less than being decapitated in front of your mother. Politicians tongue my anus, but you should be made into an example. Anonymous (ID: GFEgczoY) 07/02/23(Sun)09:43:54 No.433005648 ► >>433006200

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