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Anonymous (ID: 5oltGCpZ) Joe Biden is dead 07/01/23(Sat)01:34:20 No.432819086 Don't ask me how I know this but Joe Biden passed away just over an hour ago from a massive heart attack. The White House is currently in a scramble and Kamala Harris is being prepared to be sworn in. Media have been told to remain silent until given the all clear to report. It's expect the White House will give the all clear within the next hour. IT'S HAPPENING 446 KB JPG

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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ANON WANTS HIS MUMMY | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/21/18(Sat) 19:03:22 No.46967183 >>> >be me >good boy >bitch mommy died ten years ago >Bones lying in the corner of my room >I have done unthinkable things to that corpse. >No more tendies > no more hunny mussy >no more dewey >no more internet >have to hack neighbors crappy internet in order to watch anime >My once portly frame is now only a meager 500 pounds >Litterally just skin and bones >Refuse to becme a wagecuck >Actually go outside and ask for good boy points >People treat me, a young 40 year old baby boy, like an inferior >give up. >Go to neighbors internet >Find ressurection spell >draw magic circle >complete with drawings of tendies >Put bitch mommies bones into circle >say magic chant >My majestic man boobs flop around as I wave my arms up and down in front of the circle >demons fly around, flesh starts to grow on bitch mommy >After everything settles, mommy is asleep on the circle >I wake her up >"Mommy, Mommy, give me chicken tendies!" >Mommy's eyes open >They are red >Demon mommy screeches >Loud, but not loud enough. >You want a contest, mommy? > I let out an autistic REEEEEEEEEEEE to end all autistic REEEEEES. >Demon mommy cowers before my good boy might >Put her on leash, force her to make tendies for the rest of our lives >mfw Anon is a good boy

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It's just anon and his dog....... | /r/Greentext

31 KB PNG >be me >be loser who drives a delivery van all day >work is f------ boring as f--- >get new puppy >puppy is sad when I go to work >have idea >I will take puppy to work with me >Next day put puppy in van >Puppy sits shotgun all day, does not piss or poop in cab >Take puppy to park during lunch break >Puppy waits patiently while I make deliveries >Drive home >Realize work was fun with my little puppy buddy >Have never had this much enjoyment of work >Thank you puppy

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ANON GOES TO WALMART | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO FCB0B76B-7778-43F5-9077-379C7C05 (...).jpg, 33KiB, 495x495 NEET STORIES Anonymous Wed 14 Jun 2023 16:07:24 No.73675470 >finally give in to mummy's demands and take a trip to the mall >in Walmart, browsing tendies >comparing two brands while singing the tendies song under my breath >"tendies tendies ten-dies, 'til the hunger end-ies" >start tapping my foot >"ten-dies ten-dies ten-dies, don't share them with your friend-ies" >start dancing in the aisle >sing at the top of my voice >"OH TENDIES TENDIES TEN-DIES, GOTTA LOVE THEM TEN-DIES" >mfw I still have 9863 GBP left over >security approaches me and asks me to leave because I'm scaring people >I keep singing and dancing, pretending they're not there >the mother comes over and starts yelling at me >can't hear you, bitch >and then she f------ slaps me >she SLAPS.ME. >rip open a bag of tendies and start scattering them in the air like confetti as I bop down the aisle >one hits a small child in the eye, it starts mewling View Report >YOU DO NOT F------ TOUCH ANON GOODBOY UNLESS YOU ARE FEEDING HIM, CHANGING HIM OR TUCKING HIM IN >give her a hard shove >she falls on her bum >grab a handful of frozen tendies and force feed them to her while singing at the top of my voice >security guard es to tase me >the prongs bounce off my armoured trenchcoat >slowly turn to face him with what I think is a triumphant grin >he's holding a little canister >starts spraying it in my face >hah, good luck getting that pepper spray past these shades fucko >start laughing and breathe some of it in accidentally >OH F--- THIS S--- BURNS LIKE THE SPICIEST MEMES >lash out, hit him in the head and he falls over >scratching at my throat, can barely breathe >nose is gushing snot >swallow some and start puking >slip on my puke and fall on the floor >start punching myself in the head and kicking the floor while screaming >manage to shout "F------ NORMIES WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME" in between bouts of retching >police arrive and cuff me >fall asleep in the police car and wake up in bed with a note reading "Anon, I'm deducting 1000 GBP for your frankly disgusting behaviour"

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CHIEF M’GOODBOY'S TRAIL OF TEARS | /r/Greentext

2016-06-02 02:42:58 Post No. 28990930 Anonymous [Report] Image search: [Google] >be peaceful NEET >living in ancestral basement and using every part of the tendy >cleanface normie called Mommy comes down 364 KB, 819x800 >used to be nice, traded goodboy points and Mountain Dew in exchange for emptying urine jugs in the great plains of the backyard >now says it's her basement, time for me to get job like the normie man, cut greasy hair and wear clothes from American Eagle and Urban Outfitters >tell her this not my basement or hers, all belongs to the Great Waifu, no want dress like the normie man, the wa-uh ayge-ku'k in our language >Mommy say she's had enough, going to call someone >two days later normie man in suit come, say he from the courthouse, gives me what he says is "eviction notice," that house belong to Mommy >realize Mommy has broken our treaty >grab my Katana and whoop out a mighty war RRRRRREEEEEEE and chase normie man >manage to slice off some hair before he runs out of basement >affix hair to wall with tape and perform mighty scalp dance for my tribe of Asian cartoon plastic figurines >Mommy says she calling the cleanfaces in blue clothes to come arrest me >taking me to the NEET reservation called in their language 'Men-tell-hospit El.' >mfw

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The most powerful and memorable anon becomes a political activist | /r/Greentext

File: operation_destroy_kennedy(...).webm (1.88 MB, 1920x1080) I've come C-SPAN OPERATION DESTROY KENNEDY JUNIOR PAVLOVIAN ANUS TRAINING Anonymous (ID: GFEgczoY) 07/02/23(Sun)09:29:37 No.433004093 ► > be me > proven to be most powerful and memorable anon > hobby of editing webms to include my anus halfway through (started with tariq nasheed) > decide to use my power for good > inb4 NYPA, i don't need your help, i will achieve this all by myself I am going to destroy the Presidential aspirations of that uppity Kennedy guy and there is nothing he or you can do about it. > how are you going to achieve this? Easy. See vidrel. I will work tirelessly to insert my anus into clips of RFK Jr's speeches. Every single time you'll open a webm of RFK there's an 80% chance you'll be seeing my handsome anus within 6 seconds. Conditioning 101. This can be your nightmare or a laughriot. You choose. I will also trick you into thinking a .gif is a stillframe only to then be surprised by my third brown eye. > many yucks have been had > revered by anons, receive monikers of Butthole Bandit and A--- Ambusher > "grug happy, but grug think maybe more for life?" > how does this ruin his presidential aspirations? Because I will train your mind to associate RFK to the ugliest butthole ever recorded on video. I am going to go Pavlovian on his ass, using my ass. In this analogy, you're the dogs, RFK is the bell and I am the anus. You will never be able to think of this man as a reasonable candidate without the back of your mind thinking about my anus. EFFECT: You will no longer see Robert Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr. as a serious candidate for Prez. Anonymous (ID: GFEgczoY) 107/02/23(Sun)09:30:05 No.433004141 ► File: completion_list.png (813 KB, 1933x1102) > but anon, he's raised millions for his campaign, and most people have never visited 4chan You are neglecting just how powerful this conditioning is going to be. You will be sitting with friends at a bar and you'll see the muted TV show a small clip of RFK talking. Your brain will be so sure you're about to be buttholebombed that through TELEPATHY your friends will also start believing it. I will implant this mind virus on your friends, you're just the carrier. They won't quite be able to say why, but their opinion of this guy will worsen. You will be talking on the phone to your mom and she'll mention RKF. Within seconds, unable to understand what is happening, the sheer radioactivity your brain is emitting from critical butthole overload will overpower her and she'll start associating RKF with my (slightly) s----caked anus (this has been proven to be specially effective with consanguineous relationships). Forget the Dean Scream. Forget deSantis laughing spastically. Forget the video of Michael Dukkakis slapping a female reporter in Idaho in 1987. This is going to be much bigger than that. > b-b-b-but anon, please be merciful. he's a good man, his uncle or grandfather or whatever got killed by the CIA, leave him alone, he might be a good president her Nah, I don't like his voice is all. It's annoying. I don't want to have to listen that timbre for the next 4 years. I CAN ALREADY GUARANTEE MY ACTIONS WILL MEAN HE WILL NEVER BE PRESIDENT. > has something like this ever been tried? Not as brilliantly of course, but there have been some attempts. Remember when Mossad kept spamming hot Israeli army chicks on the internet? This is just the perfected version of those Jewdi mind tricks, the final level. Believe me, it worked. "Yeah so they do keep killing civilians and stealing their land all the time, but some of them have b-------, so I think ethically speaking Israel is OK" Anonymous (ID: (GFEgczoY) 07/02/23(Sun)09:30:50 No.433004228 ▶ File: greentext.png (391 KB, 1871x749) ADDENDUM: To officials from Trump's campaign reading this: I will 100% change my idea and destroy de Santis through this method. Email me at superdrogasaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttprotondoooooooooooooootme for a quote. LEGAL NOTICE: To the FBI agents reading my post: "Does this message constitute a threat of violence towards this presidential candidate?" No, not at all. Show me the law that states inserting the already legendary video of my anus into an RFK Jr speech is illegal. Show me the exact article in the penal code. I am in fact very sorry for what happened to his father or grandfather or whatever, the one with the hot wife. Also the other one. And the amateur pilot. In the grand scheme of things, I think this is the least bad thing that will ever happen to a Kennedy politician. Sorry, I just find the guy's voice annoying. >>433005565 >I read the title watched the first webm i have already won Anonymous (ID: nnBP2rcP) 07/02/23(Sun)09:43:07 07/02/23(Sun)09:43:07 No.433005565 No.433005565 >>433005648 I don't vote or care but this is an impressive display of your need to be tortured to death in the public square. I will not be reading anything you typed. I read the title watched the first webm, observed your flag, and have deduced that you should be culled. Anyone who associates with you or spreads your message deserves nothing less than being decapitated in front of your mother. Politicians tongue my anus, but you should be made into an example. Anonymous (ID: GFEgczoY) 07/02/23(Sun)09:43:54 No.433005648 ► >>433006200

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Anon is 27 | /r/Greentext

27 years old and my body is breaking down 27 years old and my body is br(...) 15 KB JPG 07/01/23(Sat)11:57:32 No.29260021 WHat the f--- dudes. Was only a few years ago I was vaulting over fences like a ballerina on crack. >ass bleeds when i s--- >back hurts when i sit >dry cough randomly out of nowhere >feel tired >gaining f------ weight what the f---- going on. I thought you get this s--- in your mid/late 30s. I thought my 20s is when im good to go

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Anon learns something about nurses | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 65 KB JPG 07/02/23(Sun)22:00:06 No.71465559 >go to the hospital to get a varicocele removed >in the recovery area after >nurse comes in to check on the stiches or change a bandage or something (stiches are on my groin area near my waistline) >looks at my (soft small) penis >looks at me >"awww thats a cute one" >lay there dumbfounded I am an EMT now and I recently I learned that nurses in hospitals all talk about patients d--- sizes and if theres a big one they all take turns looking while your unconcious and if its small they all make fun of you in the nurse room :/ Ive been fantasizing about going to bluechew dot com and showing up at the hospital with a hard ass d--- and waving it around but I dont wanna get arrrested My d--- isnt even small its average but just looks really small when its soft >>71465581 # >>71465618 #

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Anon's Realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/18/23(Sun)11:24:20 No.73716101 82 KB JPG >be me months ago >live alone >feel sad and depressed because i have no one >got really deep into p--- and other forms of degeneracy >really horrible degeneracy stuff like furries >felt envious of other people who had wives and children >stumble upon a furry twitter account >gross p--- artist who was married to another gross p--- artist >feel super confused until the realization hit me like a freight train >things like marriage are literally what you make of them >i used to think that it was this great honor that everyone would hope to have and that having kids was also just as great >seeing these 2 made me realize that even married people can be complete degenerates >also remember how many families were in abusive relationships with their children >also remember people who live alone and are still completely happy >feel a bit better about myself and less jealous those people things like marriage and family are what you make of them. I'd rather be alone than married but taking part in numerous forms of degeneracy. it's been about 3 months since i've quit watching p---. most days i just come home from work, relax and play video games now. my life seems super simple but i think i'm gonna make it

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eliuafwafliuagfyryabyabervgafyrgfryaklgyawi | /r/Greentext

File: th-1664246314.jpg (16 KB, 474x184) >efnebeufbgesu >dtgeopsirhtprsesdfrhier >enfiuegbsfyhesbkjsbkahtreukbts >dskfneitbgskeageturhaet >aprjoerpashfuegfepabefiaop >fauebfkrbggwougtwugtfg >fnewiuobfayurbgeryls >wehrughuihari3wlti3kqwkjwrhteiroa >pwprqwrahnpetehtupa O :stronk: Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)12:30:02 No.901914805 >be me >suffer from a stroke >wjbfiuwegfbesuigfbes >ehfuewiafbeusibfesiuhgusie >snudawibaufbewuifbg

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Anon is "Snow White" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>2603337 (OP) # >make bird noises at bird >bird flies along following me and we "talk" to each other feels good >>2606267 # 06/27/23(Tue)17:42:13 No.2604108 : Anonymous >>2606372 # 07/01/23(Sat) 18:22:38 No.2606267 >>2604108 # I didn't know Disney princesses posted on 4chan

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Anon gets rated online | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous nervous gulp 722 KB GIF 07/02/23(Sun)10:59:19 No.73876780 >ask girls online to rate me >they say i'm cute have i wasted my 20s refusing to try at all thinking i was an incel who didn't stand a chance at attracting a single woman? : Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)11:00:09 No.73876791 lol they tell every guy online that they are "cute" but they would never f--- you. ever. they're all liars >>73876806 # >>73876844 # : Anonymous >>73876780 (OP) # If they don't follow that up with being willing to date you then they're just being nice. : Anonymous 07/02/23(Sun)11:00:30 No.73876795 >>73876806 # >>73876844 # : Anonymous >>73876791 # >>73876795 # f--- you m------------, i was riding high for a few moments there and you brought me back to reality 07/02/23(Sun)11:01:40 No.73876806 07/02/23(Sun)11:05:53 No.73876844 Alright I'd honestly rate you 6/10. I feel like you're genuinely cute Just need to smile more lol noooooooooo.png 7 KB PNG >>73876795 # >>73876791 # are you saying she was lying? it's over...again

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Reeeee post to raise awareness. Stay safe out there frens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The dwarf 393 KB JPG 07/07/19(Sun)13:28:51 No.53265142 > Be me, home alone > parents arr at a party > midnight, hear someone come inside > I call out "how was the party?" > no response... > get a text from my mom saying they're staying the night at their friends house > oh f--- > hear something coming upstairs > It giggles > with each step I hear its c--- thump on the stairs The r--- dwarf is coming Help me anons

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Greentext Stories - Biden Is Gone | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous (ID: 5oltGCpZ) Joe Biden is dead 07/01/23(Sat)01:34:20 No.432819086 Don't ask me how I know this but Joe Biden passed away just over an hour ago from a massive heart attack. The White House is currently in a scramble and Kamala Harris is being prepared to be sworn in. Media have been told to remain silent until given the all clear to report. It's expect the White House will give the all clear within the next hour. IT'S HAPPENING 446 KB JPG

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