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Greentext Stories - Images (46,022 results)

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Predators in the Woods | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous Looking for a gf 05/11/25(Sun)14:11:55 No.81133424 697 KB JPG Looking for a gf, write your application here Requirements >Moderately chubby with b------- >Likes literature and music, also has other artistic interests >Likes cooking >Pleaseant to be around >Don't break my balls >Would like to live in the middle of nowhere Anonymous You've described me perfectly 05/11/25(Sun)14:40:41 No.81133697 Except I already live in the middle of nowhere and I dont want company
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous Looking for a gf 05/11/25(Sun)14:11:55 No.81133424 697 KB JPG Looking for a gf, write your application here Requirements >Moderately chubby with b------- >Likes literature and music, also has other artistic interests >Likes cooking >Pleaseant to be around >Don't break my balls >Would like to live in the middle of nowhere Anonymous You've described me perfectly 05/11/25(Sun)14:40:41 No.81133697 Except I already live in the middle of nowhere and I dont want company

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Catch of the Day | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous >Be me ▼Settings Mobile Home 05/11/25(Sun)16:45:36 No.81134956 333 KB PNG >Wake up to phone notification >Receive a text from Just Eat (SlopHub US) >I get a discount code of 10GBP on orders more than 15GBP >There's always a catch >Go online and order a fryup >Added 5 extra bacon to make up the cost >Order a collection for 5.50GBP >Bargain >Go and collect it >FFW to when I get home >Literally heap it up onto a plate >Eat the greasiest meal in the world >FFW to work >Holding in a massive fart or a s--- >I cant tell, don't want to risk it >Feels like my bowels are trying to hold in a beach ball though >Finally go to the toilet >Moment of truth >I sit down >Unclench >A jet stream of fart blows out of my a------ >Not like a BRAP or a balloon deflating, just a very smooth fart >It comes out with such speed that my insides all close together really fast, making an audible slap and sending a shockwave throughout my body So how was your day?
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous >Be me ▼Settings Mobile Home 05/11/25(Sun)16:45:36 No.81134956 333 KB PNG >Wake up to phone notification >Receive a text from Just Eat (SlopHub US) >I get a discount code of 10GBP on orders more than 15GBP >There's always a catch >Go online and order a fryup >Added 5 extra bacon to make up the cost >Order a collection for 5.50GBP >Bargain >Go and collect it >FFW to when I get home >Literally heap it up onto a plate >Eat the greasiest meal in the world >FFW to work >Holding in a massive fart or a s--- >I cant tell, don't want to risk it >Feels like my bowels are trying to hold in a beach ball though >Finally go to the toilet >Moment of truth >I sit down >Unclench >A jet stream of fart blows out of my a------ >Not like a BRAP or a balloon deflating, just a very smooth fart >It comes out with such speed that my insides all close together really fast, making an audible slap and sending a shockwave throughout my body So how was your day?

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How I met my Mother | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home what is your LEAST favorite memory of your mother that you have? 05/11/25(Sun)16:35:47 No.81134869 remember to tell your mom you love her today she probably needs it 136 KB JPG Anonymous >>81134869 (OP) 05/11/25(Sun)16:37:21 No.81134881 When I walked in on her in the bathroom and saw her huge hairy bush and saggy t--- as she angrily ran towards me to shut the door. Traumatized me.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home what is your LEAST favorite memory of your mother that you have? 05/11/25(Sun)16:35:47 No.81134869 remember to tell your mom you love her today she probably needs it 136 KB JPG Anonymous >>81134869 (OP) 05/11/25(Sun)16:37:21 No.81134881 When I walked in on her in the bathroom and saw her huge hairy bush and saggy t--- as she angrily ran towards me to shut the door. Traumatized me.

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London Calling | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: nWbnP3ZV) 05/11/25(Sun)14:34:42 No.504480983 CONE ABGARD FOR BOAT HIRE 294 KB JPG How cone nobody talks about the nice parts of London? Anonymous (ID: gGfPMwOQ) >>504480983 (OP). Nice parts? 05/11/25(Sun)14:35:55 No.504481061
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: nWbnP3ZV) 05/11/25(Sun)14:34:42 No.504480983 CONE ABGARD FOR BOAT HIRE 294 KB JPG How cone nobody talks about the nice parts of London? Anonymous (ID: gGfPMwOQ) >>504480983 (OP). Nice parts? 05/11/25(Sun)14:35:55 No.504481061

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Old but gold greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 hours ago >1 in the morning 434656828 >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES
Anonymous 6 hours ago >1 in the morning 434656828 >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES

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Ayy oop lad! No knoife, no loicense! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FZpC9sjR 05/10/25(Sat)23:52:14 No.504439159 UK woman loses jail term appeal after killing man as he sexually assaulted her BLUNDERS AND TRAGEDY FAILED BY THE STATE >get r---- at 14 and r----- not charged >carry a knife and stab second r----- >life in prison Why is self defense illegal in bongladesh? >>504439159 (OP) # >oi, hick hoe, why u got no loicense 4 dat knoife? >>504439159 (OP) # >bongladesh Kek many such cases in bongostan gott strafe angloids >>504439159 (OP) # >bongladesh kek well done lad
: Anonymous (ID: FZpC9sjR 05/10/25(Sat)23:52:14 No.504439159 UK woman loses jail term appeal after killing man as he sexually assaulted her BLUNDERS AND TRAGEDY FAILED BY THE STATE >get r---- at 14 and r----- not charged >carry a knife and stab second r----- >life in prison Why is self defense illegal in bongladesh? >>504439159 (OP) # >oi, hick hoe, why u got no loicense 4 dat knoife? >>504439159 (OP) # >bongladesh Kek many such cases in bongostan gott strafe angloids >>504439159 (OP) # >bongladesh kek well done lad

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youtube in 2025 be like | /r/Greentext

Anonymous YouTube 3 KB PNG 05/09/25(Fri)04:12:58 No.105206511 >>ayoo wassup youtube, cumguzzler420 here! this video was brought to you by [mental health scam] and [predatory gambling mobileshit] and who could forget [scam VPN that has been breached 9001 times] >video is interrupted by youtube showing crypto scam and health scam that gets people killed >video gets interrupted again showing Al voice shilling some garbage, Al Waifu, and some guy who invented the dehumidifier for the 7000th time >>don't forget to like and subscribe and thanks for Goyslop Inc. for sponsoring this video! Name a more cancerous website
Anonymous YouTube 3 KB PNG 05/09/25(Fri)04:12:58 No.105206511 >>ayoo wassup youtube, cumguzzler420 here! this video was brought to you by [mental health scam] and [predatory gambling mobileshit] and who could forget [scam VPN that has been breached 9001 times] >video is interrupted by youtube showing crypto scam and health scam that gets people killed >video gets interrupted again showing Al voice shilling some garbage, Al Waifu, and some guy who invented the dehumidifier for the 7000th time >>don't forget to like and subscribe and thanks for Goyslop Inc. for sponsoring this video! Name a more cancerous website

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Gonna need more monitors | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)20:37:35 No.709431576 >game has 4 wikis 22 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)20:37:35 No.709431576 >game has 4 wikis 22 KB JPG

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The gaming market is a bloated, rotting husk of its former glory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >60-80 hours 05/10/25(Sat)00:08:21 No.709343379 clair-obscur-expedition-33-maelle-in-lumiere.jpg 176 KB JPG >amazing visuals and art designs >crazy good soundtrack >memorable characters >adult, well written story and dialogues >innovative, fun combat >zero woke s--- >40$ And somehow american and japanese publishers think they will be allowed to put their derivative soulless slop on the shelves at 80$ pricetag??
Anonymous >60-80 hours 05/10/25(Sat)00:08:21 No.709343379 clair-obscur-expedition-33-maelle-in-lumiere.jpg 176 KB JPG >amazing visuals and art designs >crazy good soundtrack >memorable characters >adult, well written story and dialogues >innovative, fun combat >zero woke s--- >40$ And somehow american and japanese publishers think they will be allowed to put their derivative soulless slop on the shelves at 80$ pricetag??

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Anon Likes Top Gun (1986) | /r/Greentext

File: Maverick.jpg (746 KB, 2018x1226) "MAVERICK ☐ TOP GUN THREAD! Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:39:17 No.210519596 ► >>210519613 >>210520856 >>210521234 > Inverts plane to flip off enemy pilot > Disobeys direct orders multiple times > Sexually harassed multiple women > Buzzes the control tower on more than one occasion > Fully admits to being a danger to others > F---- an Admirals daughter > Drug dependence on speed > Cheats at a game of volleyball > Ego writes checks his body can't cash > Kills his co pilot on purpose > Crashes multiple planes > Has murdered at least 5 people > Has sexual relations with Iceman > Goes below the hard deck multiple times > Takes a highway to a dangerzone > Gets promoted to Captain >> Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:43:37 No.210519649 File: feafafaf.jpg (127 KB, 1023x768) TEX HOU >GOD DAMN IT, MAVERICK! You knuckle heads have crashed six multimillion dollar planes this week, killed four of your squadron, destroyed an air-craft carrier, sent our relations with NATO back 20 years and started world war 3! Now, I could punish you but instead I have a top secret mission for you and by god only you have the skills to pull it off! ☐ Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)18:26:19 No.210520856 >>210519596 (OP) >Pray to Xenu >>210521621 >Shoot down civilian DC-10 because they look like aliens >Fly into volcano to recover souls >Eject and land on couch >Injure back from ejection and can no longer do stunts ☐ Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)19:04:40 No.210521234 ► File: tcsweat.jpg (28 KB, 381x254) >>210519596 (OP). >Drug dependence on speed Good point. No wonder that fool was so sweaty. Never made the connection aka speed = methamphetamines, 100% explains Maverick behavior. They used to dose fighter pilots with that s--- Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)19:34:28 No.210521621► >>210520856 ACKSHUALLY Xenu is the villain. Please don't unsult Tom Cruise's scifi religion like this.
File: Maverick.jpg (746 KB, 2018x1226) "MAVERICK ☐ TOP GUN THREAD! Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:39:17 No.210519596 ► >>210519613 >>210520856 >>210521234 > Inverts plane to flip off enemy pilot > Disobeys direct orders multiple times > Sexually harassed multiple women > Buzzes the control tower on more than one occasion > Fully admits to being a danger to others > F---- an Admirals daughter > Drug dependence on speed > Cheats at a game of volleyball > Ego writes checks his body can't cash > Kills his co pilot on purpose > Crashes multiple planes > Has murdered at least 5 people > Has sexual relations with Iceman > Goes below the hard deck multiple times > Takes a highway to a dangerzone > Gets promoted to Captain >> Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:43:37 No.210519649 File: feafafaf.jpg (127 KB, 1023x768) TEX HOU >GOD DAMN IT, MAVERICK! You knuckle heads have crashed six multimillion dollar planes this week, killed four of your squadron, destroyed an air-craft carrier, sent our relations with NATO back 20 years and started world war 3! Now, I could punish you but instead I have a top secret mission for you and by god only you have the skills to pull it off! ☐ Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)18:26:19 No.210520856 >>210519596 (OP) >Pray to Xenu >>210521621 >Shoot down civilian DC-10 because they look like aliens >Fly into volcano to recover souls >Eject and land on couch >Injure back from ejection and can no longer do stunts ☐ Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)19:04:40 No.210521234 ► File: tcsweat.jpg (28 KB, 381x254) >>210519596 (OP). >Drug dependence on speed Good point. No wonder that fool was so sweaty. Never made the connection aka speed = methamphetamines, 100% explains Maverick behavior. They used to dose fighter pilots with that s--- Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)19:34:28 No.210521621► >>210520856 ACKSHUALLY Xenu is the villain. Please don't unsult Tom Cruise's scifi religion like this.

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Anon is kickpuncher | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/2025, 11:34:03 No.23245165 67 KB JPEG be me in school new girl in class. Cute nerves finally go say hi. Hi 'hi anon' ragingerection.jpg leave. Can't get erection down. go home wait it out find super glue. extrastrength.exe glue penis to leg //this should work// next day 'hi anon' kick her in the face mfw glue and boner turned me into anime kicker
Anonymous 11/05/2025, 11:34:03 No.23245165 67 KB JPEG be me in school new girl in class. Cute nerves finally go say hi. Hi 'hi anon' ragingerection.jpg leave. Can't get erection down. go home wait it out find super glue. extrastrength.exe glue penis to leg //this should work// next day 'hi anon' kick her in the face mfw glue and boner turned me into anime kicker

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/lit/ Anon uses internet | /r/Greentext

File: IMG 7680.png (185 KB, 600x600) >scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll >click click click >click click scroll >scroll scroll click Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)03:53:29 No.24371676 >scroll scroll click >click click scroll >scroll scroll scroll scroll >click scroll click click >click scroll click >click click click >tap tap tap.. >click click scroll >scroll scroll click >scroll scroll click scroll >click click scroll >scroll click click scroll >scroll scroll click >scroll scroll click >click click scroll
File: IMG 7680.png (185 KB, 600x600) >scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll >click click click >click click scroll >scroll scroll click Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)03:53:29 No.24371676 >scroll scroll click >click click scroll >scroll scroll scroll scroll >click scroll click click >click scroll click >click click click >tap tap tap.. >click click scroll >scroll scroll click >scroll scroll click scroll >click click scroll >scroll click click scroll >scroll scroll click >scroll scroll click >click click scroll

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the SAAR WARS | /r/Greentext

Price $288M Fabrid en Fran TEMU Arrows /pol/ presents a major /PIG/ production SAAR WARS Starring SHEHBAZ SHARIF NARENDRA MODI JD VANCE Making Films Sound Better D⚫ DOLBY SYSTEM Noise Reduction High Fidelity DONALD TRUMP AND JD VANCE $SAAR WARS NOTV TOI
Price $288M Fabrid en Fran TEMU Arrows /pol/ presents a major /PIG/ production SAAR WARS Starring SHEHBAZ SHARIF NARENDRA MODI JD VANCE Making Films Sound Better D⚫ DOLBY SYSTEM Noise Reduction High Fidelity DONALD TRUMP AND JD VANCE $SAAR WARS NOTV TOI

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Technically they were correct! | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 45243472 42,2 KB JPG >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" >... >He's technically right >I am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES 0 IMAGES Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man REPLY
Anonymous 45243472 42,2 KB JPG >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" >... >He's technically right >I am losing a lot of fat 3 REPLIES 0 IMAGES Anonymous 45243502 Nice keep going man REPLY

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Anon dislikes Androids | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous Mon, Nov 4, 2024 19:44:11 No.18304545 File: 4 KB, 250x250, IMG_0083.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Quoted by: >>18304559 >>18304586 >>18304594 >>18304616 >>18305380 >>18305507 >>18305581 >>18306781 >>18307501 >>18313136 >>18313196 what kind of f------ loser has an android under the age of 40 lmaoo00 imagine asking for a girls snap and pulling out a samsung guacamole 550 genuine autist behavior >but it costs less for more processing power and the camera has over 6.82 more depth frames per gigabyte storage сарас- just shut up you freak with a keyboard and go back to playing with your legos autistic freak everyone knows the android is probably cheaper and has better parts but the difference between me and you is that I understand societal norms and you have literal autism and will never touch a p----. It's the same with torrenting I'm not saying torrenting doesn't make financial sense and logically you have more choice, But it's a social red flag and Like I said the difference between you and me is that I understand that and you have autism
☐ Anonymous Mon, Nov 4, 2024 19:44:11 No.18304545 File: 4 KB, 250x250, IMG_0083.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] Quoted by: >>18304559 >>18304586 >>18304594 >>18304616 >>18305380 >>18305507 >>18305581 >>18306781 >>18307501 >>18313136 >>18313196 what kind of f------ loser has an android under the age of 40 lmaoo00 imagine asking for a girls snap and pulling out a samsung guacamole 550 genuine autist behavior >but it costs less for more processing power and the camera has over 6.82 more depth frames per gigabyte storage сарас- just shut up you freak with a keyboard and go back to playing with your legos autistic freak everyone knows the android is probably cheaper and has better parts but the difference between me and you is that I understand societal norms and you have literal autism and will never touch a p----. It's the same with torrenting I'm not saying torrenting doesn't make financial sense and logically you have more choice, But it's a social red flag and Like I said the difference between you and me is that I understand that and you have autism

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Shit Hits the Floor | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect ▼Settings Mobile Home Is India the most pathetic country in the world? 05/10/25(Sat)17:48:36 No.504417277 Is India the most pathetic cou(...) 20 KB PNG >claim to be superpower 2030 >start s--- with your neighbor >become the first country to lose a rafale jet >p---- out and call for ceasefire Anonymous (ID: 68cPJzdH ) >>504417277 (OP). >call for ceasefire 05/10/25(Sat) 17:53:01 No.504417589 If that's true, that simply means All the damage was on Pakistani side, India just wanted to keep it that way.
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect ▼Settings Mobile Home Is India the most pathetic country in the world? 05/10/25(Sat)17:48:36 No.504417277 Is India the most pathetic cou(...) 20 KB PNG >claim to be superpower 2030 >start s--- with your neighbor >become the first country to lose a rafale jet >p---- out and call for ceasefire Anonymous (ID: 68cPJzdH ) >>504417277 (OP). >call for ceasefire 05/10/25(Sat) 17:53:01 No.504417589 If that's true, that simply means All the damage was on Pakistani side, India just wanted to keep it that way.

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