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Greentext Stories - Images (46,967 results)

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Anon's laptop | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:32:56 No.3420448 Q >"Son, your the games you are buying are viruses! You need to remove them" >"But Mom! My Sister has Napster and Limewire installed on the computer, and she constantly downloads viruses disguised as music! I bought these games from Best Buy, they are not infected with anything!" >"No anon, Music cannot have viruses, only games can." She took the computer to Best Buy, and the employees told her the same thing after they fixed it. She ignored them and just banned me from using the family computer for two years, because my Mom always needs someone to blame except for my sister. I eventually saved up enough money to buy a near-mint condition Thinkpad, that had a broken Windows installation. I just installed Debian (Linux distro) and called it a day. Replies to this post: >>3420456 >>3422005 Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:33:34 No.3420456 Q >>3420448 [CONT] >Sister continues to use Limewire to download viruses, since she cannot tell the difference between a 5kb exe and a 5mb mp3 >While I am at school (she is supposedly sick), she takes my laptop and tries to use it for her various online activities, and quickly discovers it is impossible to install Windows programs natively on it. >She talks to my Mom and tells her that I broke my computer, and that I was probably too embarrassed to fix it >They go to Best Buy and have a fellow install Windows on it, along with every junk program on this side of the galaxy >They wiped all of school assignments and notes in the process, even the ones I was working on, AND EVEN THE F------ FAT16 PARTITION THAT WAS NAMED "BACKUP - DO NOT WIPE" >By the time I arrive home my sister has managed to f--- it up with more viruses than a two-bit w---- >My Mom tells me that the laptop is now my sister's property, since "I cannot be trusted with computers" >"But Mom, I bought it with my own money from the jobs I did last Summer. Whether I can use it 'well' is irrelevant" >She tells me that if it wasn't for her status as a local pharmacist I would have never had the jobs, so it was her money anyway >mfw only half the people I worked for knew her name And that /r9k/, is how I became known as the computer illiterate of my family Replies to this post: >>3420493 >>3420505 >>3420529 >>3420535 >>3420539 >>3420540 >>3420552 >>3420628 >>3420679 >>3420681 >>3420743 >>3420834 >>3421440 >>3422005 >>3422184 >>3422346 >>3422413 >>3422695 Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:42:26 No.3420529 Q^ File: 1344955346244.jpg-(8 KB, 259x194, 1344309378480.jpg) I I'M BEYOND MAD Replies to this post: >>3420554 >>3420598 >>3420456 >>3420456 >>3420456 Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:51:50 No. 3420598 Q 3 >>3420529 I did, though I locked it in a locked chest instead of putting a lock on it. Why didn't you just take it back and put a lock on it you f------ p----. 10/10 I got so f------ mad 4 Of course my Sister though a hissy-fit, and my Mom responded by taking some of my CDs to "see how I feel when someone takes my stuff." They somehow ended up broken (including a backup disk of my sister's data), but I still refused to hand over my laptop because f--- the police, I value my computer more than any other of my possessions (besides memorabilia). My Mom just called a locksmith and got the computer out of the chest and gave it back to my sister, who raged because I had reinstalled debian and apparently deleted her information without backing it up. Being the calm, cool, rational being she was, she through the laptop outside during her fit of rage, and it fell in a puddle while running. I did not mention it earlier because this part is just retarded, not entertaining in the least.
Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:32:56 No.3420448 Q >"Son, your the games you are buying are viruses! You need to remove them" >"But Mom! My Sister has Napster and Limewire installed on the computer, and she constantly downloads viruses disguised as music! I bought these games from Best Buy, they are not infected with anything!" >"No anon, Music cannot have viruses, only games can." She took the computer to Best Buy, and the employees told her the same thing after they fixed it. She ignored them and just banned me from using the family computer for two years, because my Mom always needs someone to blame except for my sister. I eventually saved up enough money to buy a near-mint condition Thinkpad, that had a broken Windows installation. I just installed Debian (Linux distro) and called it a day. Replies to this post: >>3420456 >>3422005 Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:33:34 No.3420456 Q >>3420448 [CONT] >Sister continues to use Limewire to download viruses, since she cannot tell the difference between a 5kb exe and a 5mb mp3 >While I am at school (she is supposedly sick), she takes my laptop and tries to use it for her various online activities, and quickly discovers it is impossible to install Windows programs natively on it. >She talks to my Mom and tells her that I broke my computer, and that I was probably too embarrassed to fix it >They go to Best Buy and have a fellow install Windows on it, along with every junk program on this side of the galaxy >They wiped all of school assignments and notes in the process, even the ones I was working on, AND EVEN THE F------ FAT16 PARTITION THAT WAS NAMED "BACKUP - DO NOT WIPE" >By the time I arrive home my sister has managed to f--- it up with more viruses than a two-bit w---- >My Mom tells me that the laptop is now my sister's property, since "I cannot be trusted with computers" >"But Mom, I bought it with my own money from the jobs I did last Summer. Whether I can use it 'well' is irrelevant" >She tells me that if it wasn't for her status as a local pharmacist I would have never had the jobs, so it was her money anyway >mfw only half the people I worked for knew her name And that /r9k/, is how I became known as the computer illiterate of my family Replies to this post: >>3420493 >>3420505 >>3420529 >>3420535 >>3420539 >>3420540 >>3420552 >>3420628 >>3420679 >>3420681 >>3420743 >>3420834 >>3421440 >>3422005 >>3422184 >>3422346 >>3422413 >>3422695 Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:42:26 No.3420529 Q^ File: 1344955346244.jpg-(8 KB, 259x194, 1344309378480.jpg) I I'M BEYOND MAD Replies to this post: >>3420554 >>3420598 >>3420456 >>3420456 >>3420456 Anonymous 08/14/12(Tue)10:51:50 No. 3420598 Q 3 >>3420529 I did, though I locked it in a locked chest instead of putting a lock on it. Why didn't you just take it back and put a lock on it you f------ p----. 10/10 I got so f------ mad 4 Of course my Sister though a hissy-fit, and my Mom responded by taking some of my CDs to "see how I feel when someone takes my stuff." They somehow ended up broken (including a backup disk of my sister's data), but I still refused to hand over my laptop because f--- the police, I value my computer more than any other of my possessions (besides memorabilia). My Mom just called a locksmith and got the computer out of the chest and gave it back to my sister, who raged because I had reinstalled debian and apparently deleted her information without backing it up. Being the calm, cool, rational being she was, she through the laptop outside during her fit of rage, and it fell in a puddle while running. I did not mention it earlier because this part is just retarded, not entertaining in the least.

Greentext Stories

Tinder Troubles | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 334 KB PNG 11/06/17(Mon)06:20:58 No.750195751 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy off tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >he suggests we go to mcdonalds >wants to meet at 1:30pm sharp >i show up at 1:30 and he says hi >he's in his mcdonalds uniform eating a big mac meal >"i get a free medium meal on my break, so how are you?" >i order a big mac meal and we chat >at 1:50, he says he wants to show me something cool out back >we go out back and he starts kissing me >we have sex >"s--- anon, i needed that. I'm going on a date-date tonight with this hot black girl and i dont wanna nut in her too soon" >at 1:58, he clocks back in and i go home >mfw
: Anonymous 334 KB PNG 11/06/17(Mon)06:20:58 No.750195751 >be me >24yo femanon >meet guy off tinder >he's super cute >possiblebf.jpeg >he suggests we go to mcdonalds >wants to meet at 1:30pm sharp >i show up at 1:30 and he says hi >he's in his mcdonalds uniform eating a big mac meal >"i get a free medium meal on my break, so how are you?" >i order a big mac meal and we chat >at 1:50, he says he wants to show me something cool out back >we go out back and he starts kissing me >we have sex >"s--- anon, i needed that. I'm going on a date-date tonight with this hot black girl and i dont wanna nut in her too soon" >at 1:58, he clocks back in and i go home >mfw

Greentext Stories

Anon is for real? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 15/7/2025, 3:54:37 PM No.38257311 276 KB PNG > saves everybody in a self sacrificial final action > Everybody weeps like a mother finding her son decapitated in his room > Turns out he survived and he shows up immediately > Everybody beats him up because "he worried them" Can this guy ever catch a f------ break?
Anonymous 15/7/2025, 3:54:37 PM No.38257311 276 KB PNG > saves everybody in a self sacrificial final action > Everybody weeps like a mother finding her son decapitated in his room > Turns out he survived and he shows up immediately > Everybody beats him up because "he worried them" Can this guy ever catch a f------ break?

Greentext Stories

What did Gunn mean by this? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/25(Mon) 15:17:56 No.212709400 >spends 800 billion to fight dumb farmboy >loses >gets r---- by dog and cancelled on Twitter >>212709400 (OP) # >Guns self insert
Anonymous 07/14/25(Mon) 15:17:56 No.212709400 >spends 800 billion to fight dumb farmboy >loses >gets r---- by dog and cancelled on Twitter >>212709400 (OP) # >Guns self insert

Greentext Stories

Anon goes on vacation. | /r/Greentext

File: frog2.jpg (58 KB, 976x850) Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)22:00:42 No. 184194025 >>184194125 >be me >vacationing in Germany >eating at a restaurant, need to use the restroom >ask an employee where the restroom is >"Oh, you mean das poopenfarten? Down there to the left!"
File: frog2.jpg (58 KB, 976x850) Anonymous 07/04/23(Tue)22:00:42 No. 184194025 >>184194125 >be me >vacationing in Germany >eating at a restaurant, need to use the restroom >ask an employee where the restroom is >"Oh, you mean das poopenfarten? Down there to the left!"

Greentext Stories

Anon likes his boss | /r/Greentext

Anonymous feels good man 91 KB JPG 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 band is playing >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread
Anonymous feels good man 91 KB JPG 04/28/19(Sun)01:11:46 No.52153310 band is playing >be me >been working at bbq joint for 3 years >boss is like a dad but cooler, we drink/smoke together >song from his favorite "oooh do you know who this is anon?" >answer instantly with correct answer "aaayyyyyee thats my boy" >mfw it feels good to have someone proud of me thanks boss 6 Replies View Thread

Greentext Stories

anon tries to figure out elephants | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 812 KB PNG 07/10/25(Thu)01:19:14 No.5014315 >the most empathetic and emotionally intelligent animal on the planet >is on par with dolphins in treating humans kindly when not threatened or protecting young >became the staple of the wise, relaxed and friendly character in all children's media >except it has periodic moments of sheer mania, typical gentle giants become violence obsessed extremely prone to murder crazed psychopaths, more rage fuelled than a f------ rabid bull >last for months >just mindlessly urged to f--- and kill for months and months before going back to a calm gentle giant what the f--- was the evolutionary reason for this
Anonymous 812 KB PNG 07/10/25(Thu)01:19:14 No.5014315 >the most empathetic and emotionally intelligent animal on the planet >is on par with dolphins in treating humans kindly when not threatened or protecting young >became the staple of the wise, relaxed and friendly character in all children's media >except it has periodic moments of sheer mania, typical gentle giants become violence obsessed extremely prone to murder crazed psychopaths, more rage fuelled than a f------ rabid bull >last for months >just mindlessly urged to f--- and kill for months and months before going back to a calm gentle giant what the f--- was the evolutionary reason for this

Greentext Stories

The internet, generally speaking. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous FAKE AND GAAAYYYYY 72 KB JPG 07/15/25(Tue)03:13:41 No.937129263 >>937126437 (OP) # >The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. >Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
: Anonymous FAKE AND GAAAYYYYY 72 KB JPG 07/15/25(Tue)03:13:41 No.937129263 >>937126437 (OP) # >The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. >Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Greentext Stories

For the aesthetic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/13/25(Sun)21:57:12 No.715404037 153 KB JPG >"genius horse girl" >decides to run wearing a giant lab coat with oversized sleeves why are Umas like this??
Anonymous 07/13/25(Sun)21:57:12 No.715404037 153 KB JPG >"genius horse girl" >decides to run wearing a giant lab coat with oversized sleeves why are Umas like this??

Greentext Stories

lil sis's knickers | /r/Greentext

serious answers only 07/15/25(Tue)00:12:44 No.81832704 I need your help bros, I'm about to get kicked out of the house because mom caught me sniffing my little sisters knickers again 159 KB PNG View Thread
serious answers only 07/15/25(Tue)00:12:44 No.81832704 I need your help bros, I'm about to get kicked out of the house because mom caught me sniffing my little sisters knickers again 159 KB PNG View Thread

Greentext Stories

Lord of lard | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/12/25(Wed)16:31:04 No.931249060 >be me 263d5994fe10b283c73dbf3966a6bb3a.jpg 18 KB JPG >"Mildly" overweight fella >Absolutely devouring 6 tacos and a breakfast burrito with a large Dr pepper for brunch >Smart watch starts buzzing >Congratulates me on staying active because my heart is racing and my blood pressure is probably through the f------ roof Mfw I exercised by eating
Anonymous 02/12/25(Wed)16:31:04 No.931249060 >be me 263d5994fe10b283c73dbf3966a6bb3a.jpg 18 KB JPG >"Mildly" overweight fella >Absolutely devouring 6 tacos and a breakfast burrito with a large Dr pepper for brunch >Smart watch starts buzzing >Congratulates me on staying active because my heart is racing and my blood pressure is probably through the f------ roof Mfw I exercised by eating

Greentext Stories

Anon the nuclear denialist | /r/Greentext

File: Atomic bombing of Japan.jpg (2.29 MB, 4918x2918) Anonymous (ID: copRQ+pK I'm a nuke denialist. It just doesn't sound that plausible >then what happened to those cities? 07/02/25(Wed)20:41:44 bombed the normal way, but they zoomed in for the photo +140 replies and 12 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous (ID: 098UqFOn) Sweet a schizo thread 07/02/25(Wed)22:39
File: Atomic bombing of Japan.jpg (2.29 MB, 4918x2918) Anonymous (ID: copRQ+pK I'm a nuke denialist. It just doesn't sound that plausible >then what happened to those cities? 07/02/25(Wed)20:41:44 bombed the normal way, but they zoomed in for the photo +140 replies and 12 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous (ID: 098UqFOn) Sweet a schizo thread 07/02/25(Wed)22:39

Greentext Stories

Anon was watching Power Rangers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/13/25(Sun)10:54:39 No.212656423 file.png (597 KB, 781x586) google yandex iqdb wait >this random criminal we just met will be your leader because he's black It truly was 2025.
Anonymous 07/13/25(Sun)10:54:39 No.212656423 file.png (597 KB, 781x586) google yandex iqdb wait >this random criminal we just met will be your leader because he's black It truly was 2025.

Greentext Stories

Deep Blue Seathing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 215 KB JPG whole 10/21/24(Mon) 15:38:08 No.79198867 >You will never be a Schaefer's anglerfish and peacefully sit on the ocean floor for days at a time >You will never be able to walk over deep sea rocky substrates with your modified fins >You will never lure tasty deep sea prey with your dorsal fin and eat them >You will never spend your entire life in the darkness of the deep ocean, not knowing what is above the surface Why should I even stay alive
: Anonymous 215 KB JPG whole 10/21/24(Mon) 15:38:08 No.79198867 >You will never be a Schaefer's anglerfish and peacefully sit on the ocean floor for days at a time >You will never be able to walk over deep sea rocky substrates with your modified fins >You will never lure tasty deep sea prey with your dorsal fin and eat them >You will never spend your entire life in the darkness of the deep ocean, not knowing what is above the surface Why should I even stay alive

Greentext Stories

Mom said my turn to post this one | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 85 KB JPG door 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass >my dad walks up and closes my >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying Anonymous >talking to p--- 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #
Anonymous 85 KB JPG door 01/28/19(Mon)18:25:00 No.50676323 >p--- blaring on the computer >drunk again >bottle of vodka right on the desk >d--- in my hand >moaning s--- like oh yeah baby f--- me look at that f----- ass >my dad walks up and closes my >the door was open >puke into the bin and blackout >wake up in a dark room on the floor next to my bed >parents are talking and mom might be crying Anonymous >talking to p--- 01/28/19(Mon)18:37:35 No.50676520 are you mentally disabled? >>50676592 #

Greentext Stories

Press any button | /r/Greentext

1341708121363.png (376 KB, 900x702) iqdb google >press any button to continue >press the power button >pc turns off
1341708121363.png (376 KB, 900x702) iqdb google >press any button to continue >press the power button >pc turns off

Greentext Stories
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