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Greentext Stories - Images (45,731 results)

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Anon is desperate for a better life | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/04/17 (Mon)11:16:51 No.41556855 42 KB PNG Is there a fembot with a feminine voice who could record some phrases for me on vocaroo? >Welcome back! >How are you? >How was work? >I believe in you. >Keep it up! >You're really smart. I know you can do better. >Become the best doctor you can be. >I love you. In separate files please. Thank you very much.
Anonymous 12/04/17 (Mon)11:16:51 No.41556855 42 KB PNG Is there a fembot with a feminine voice who could record some phrases for me on vocaroo? >Welcome back! >How are you? >How was work? >I believe in you. >Keep it up! >You're really smart. I know you can do better. >Become the best doctor you can be. >I love you. In separate files please. Thank you very much.

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Anon like(d) his dad | /r/Greentext

54 KB JPG >my dad was the coolest m------------ to me when i was a kid >city cop, used to take me places in his cop car all the time >he'd say "wanna go for light up ride anon?" >id get so f------ excited >we'd go wherever, he'd turn the lights and sirens on just because he knew i thought it was cool >used to brag about him to my friends all the time >best times of my childhood really loved my dad. turns out he r---- my sister so my mom killed him.
54 KB JPG >my dad was the coolest m------------ to me when i was a kid >city cop, used to take me places in his cop car all the time >he'd say "wanna go for light up ride anon?" >id get so f------ excited >we'd go wherever, he'd turn the lights and sirens on just because he knew i thought it was cool >used to brag about him to my friends all the time >best times of my childhood really loved my dad. turns out he r---- my sister so my mom killed him.

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Anon is toxic to anon. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/20/24(Fri)23:53:29 No.1345527 >>1345571 >>1353546 >>1353547 File: 1716547396969983.png (102 KB, 400x383) >>1330247 >https://mega.nz/folder/cvE03bzR#H6 S9q6QRHYWTJ3dRcAalTQ >whole libgen >800mb ye right ☐ Anonymous 12/21/24(Sat)08:42:28 No.1345571 >>1345527 800mb of torrents, f------ moron
Anonymous 12/20/24(Fri)23:53:29 No.1345527 >>1345571 >>1353546 >>1353547 File: 1716547396969983.png (102 KB, 400x383) >>1330247 >https://mega.nz/folder/cvE03bzR#H6 S9q6QRHYWTJ3dRcAalTQ >whole libgen >800mb ye right ☐ Anonymous 12/21/24(Sat)08:42:28 No.1345571 >>1345527 800mb of torrents, f------ moron

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Set up, shut down | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: StRrtYZC) 06/09/21(Wed)22:58:57 No.325330358 Intelligence is a curse 262 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 96UPLfEu) 06/09/21(Wed)23:00:22 No.325330466 Good thing you avoided that one.
Anonymous (ID: StRrtYZC) 06/09/21(Wed)22:58:57 No.325330358 Intelligence is a curse 262 KB JPG Anonymous (ID: 96UPLfEu) 06/09/21(Wed)23:00:22 No.325330466 Good thing you avoided that one.

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George S. Washington | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 100 KB JPG 03/25/22(Fri)13:01:26 No.875084480 >be me >worked in a s----- museum >gave tours to classes all the time >the work was boring >the museum sucked >you pay $20 to walk around and read, no interactions, nothing but placards and pictures >start on going joke with coworkers >when training new hires for tours we throw in s--- that isn't true >I decide to give George Washington a middle name >I gave the new hire his study materials >have him shadow my tours and keep referring to George Washington as George S. Washington >nobody questions the S. >new hire takes over tours and refers to him with the S >not a single soul questions him while me and my coworkers are trying hard as hell not to laugh >went back 8 years later after with my own kid for her class >went on to tell her how I used to work here when she was a baby >get to part about George >lady giving tours gets to his part and says "George S. Washington was the first president of the United States" >I f------ lost it >all these years have came and gone >and these f---- still call him George S. Washington >ask her what the S. stands for >she says Smith >you don't understand/b/ >I had to leave the museum I was laughing so hard
: Anonymous 100 KB JPG 03/25/22(Fri)13:01:26 No.875084480 >be me >worked in a s----- museum >gave tours to classes all the time >the work was boring >the museum sucked >you pay $20 to walk around and read, no interactions, nothing but placards and pictures >start on going joke with coworkers >when training new hires for tours we throw in s--- that isn't true >I decide to give George Washington a middle name >I gave the new hire his study materials >have him shadow my tours and keep referring to George Washington as George S. Washington >nobody questions the S. >new hire takes over tours and refers to him with the S >not a single soul questions him while me and my coworkers are trying hard as hell not to laugh >went back 8 years later after with my own kid for her class >went on to tell her how I used to work here when she was a baby >get to part about George >lady giving tours gets to his part and says "George S. Washington was the first president of the United States" >I f------ lost it >all these years have came and gone >and these f---- still call him George S. Washington >ask her what the S. stands for >she says Smith >you don't understand/b/ >I had to leave the museum I was laughing so hard

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Anon Likes Australian Comedy | /r/Greentext

File: 1714130085586311.jpg (77 KB, 1200x630) Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)05:15:50 No.210094582 >>210094763 >>210094937 >>210095653 >>210095675 >>210095701 >>210096844 >>210101350 >>210101373 >>210101892 >>210103416 >>210107337 >>210110444 >>210110515 >Worst part of me getting roiped? >The hypocrisy Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)05:23:19 No.210094763 ►>>210096844 >>210101892 >>210094582 (OP) >oi wais gaped 'een me prime >> Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)06:00:57 No.210095638 >>210096899 >>210104898 WHO BLOODY LAUGHED Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)06:42:35 No.210096714 ►>>210096745 OI WOZ GAIPED BOI MIN Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)06:44:01 No.210096745 >>210096714 Hah minny min? Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)06:45:54 No.210096794 >>210096745 FOIVE! Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)07:03:09 No.210097193 ► >>210096794 >>210096844 Australia can't be real. It has to be some sick joke someone is playing on us. People don't actually talk like that.
File: 1714130085586311.jpg (77 KB, 1200x630) Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)05:15:50 No.210094582 >>210094763 >>210094937 >>210095653 >>210095675 >>210095701 >>210096844 >>210101350 >>210101373 >>210101892 >>210103416 >>210107337 >>210110444 >>210110515 >Worst part of me getting roiped? >The hypocrisy Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)05:23:19 No.210094763 ►>>210096844 >>210101892 >>210094582 (OP) >oi wais gaped 'een me prime >> Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)06:00:57 No.210095638 >>210096899 >>210104898 WHO BLOODY LAUGHED Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)06:42:35 No.210096714 ►>>210096745 OI WOZ GAIPED BOI MIN Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)06:44:01 No.210096745 >>210096714 Hah minny min? Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)06:45:54 No.210096794 >>210096745 FOIVE! Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)07:03:09 No.210097193 ► >>210096794 >>210096844 Australia can't be real. It has to be some sick joke someone is playing on us. People don't actually talk like that.

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Anon designates races to pets | /r/Greentext

. 2d (12/9 11:49) · 4683666 3 Replies >Small >Autistic >Angry >Can take on things slightly larger than them >Deceptively smart >Mostly bark most of the time >Also prone to getting themselves BTFO extra hard They're german. German shepherds are, ironically, white anglo saxon protestants Collie and their sorts are poles Huskies are wealthy north american colonists and their memetic descendants such as uncle ted Pitbulls are mexican Mastiffs are blacks and arabs Hounds are catholic europoor peasantry Sighthounds are orthodox slavs The other primitive spitzes are inuit and east asian And cats are jewish
. 2d (12/9 11:49) · 4683666 3 Replies >Small >Autistic >Angry >Can take on things slightly larger than them >Deceptively smart >Mostly bark most of the time >Also prone to getting themselves BTFO extra hard They're german. German shepherds are, ironically, white anglo saxon protestants Collie and their sorts are poles Huskies are wealthy north american colonists and their memetic descendants such as uncle ted Pitbulls are mexican Mastiffs are blacks and arabs Hounds are catholic europoor peasantry Sighthounds are orthodox slavs The other primitive spitzes are inuit and east asian And cats are jewish

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Anon tries dating a femboy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 76 KB JPG 03/14/22(Mon)23:50:42 No.874455849 >be me >no luck online dating >download grinder >inbox is flooded in 2 hours time 46 messages >find a cute femboy >end up chatting for a bit and am invited to hangout >never dated a guy but what the hell >go on a pretty nice date, dudes always complementing me which I've never had on a date >he's actually trying to impress me, get to know me etc >I feel beyond flattered >end up back at his place >super clean, spotless and organized >actually lives on his own in a nice house in the suburbs >end up watching Borat and having a great time >we did end up kissing and sleeping together and it was honestly amazing >been together for 5 months now and I couldn't be happier >no drama, no periods, full sex life, adventures, and he spends money on me buying me gifts, clothes, even got me a new Xbox when my Xbox one crapped out >I've never been treated this way by any female ever >I don't think I will ever go back >gay is the way Anons >pic isn't him the only one I could find that looks similar
Anonymous 76 KB JPG 03/14/22(Mon)23:50:42 No.874455849 >be me >no luck online dating >download grinder >inbox is flooded in 2 hours time 46 messages >find a cute femboy >end up chatting for a bit and am invited to hangout >never dated a guy but what the hell >go on a pretty nice date, dudes always complementing me which I've never had on a date >he's actually trying to impress me, get to know me etc >I feel beyond flattered >end up back at his place >super clean, spotless and organized >actually lives on his own in a nice house in the suburbs >end up watching Borat and having a great time >we did end up kissing and sleeping together and it was honestly amazing >been together for 5 months now and I couldn't be happier >no drama, no periods, full sex life, adventures, and he spends money on me buying me gifts, clothes, even got me a new Xbox when my Xbox one crapped out >I've never been treated this way by any female ever >I don't think I will ever go back >gay is the way Anons >pic isn't him the only one I could find that looks similar

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Anon lives in Gotham. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 53 KB JPG 10/17/23(Tue)00:13:17 No.140051137 >Be me >Work at McGotham's >Crap job but pay's decent enough I guess. >Work the Graveyard shift so I don't deal with annoying kids during day >Turn to register after hearing door bell >Welcome to McGotham's how can I- >It's the f------ Joker and his Goons >Joker walks up as I start sweating bullets, barely hiding my terror >He wants just a Cheeseburger and Coke >I take a deep breath to collect myself, take his order and money, and make the food. >Calm down more and more as Joker is behaving himself and they're all just watching the restaurant TV while waiting. >Finally have the order set and hand it to him. >Joker checks the food >"Oh my there seems to be a mistake" >I make the horrible mistake of letting my guard down and asking what I did wrong. >"You didn't CUT THE CHEESE!" >Starts laughing manically as his goons hold me in place while Joker pulls his pants down and I'm deep in his Clown Cutter as he rips the dankest, wettest fart. >I gag and fall to the ground, gasping for air. >Joker and his goons walk off, laughing all the way. Christ I hate this f------ town.
Anonymous 53 KB JPG 10/17/23(Tue)00:13:17 No.140051137 >Be me >Work at McGotham's >Crap job but pay's decent enough I guess. >Work the Graveyard shift so I don't deal with annoying kids during day >Turn to register after hearing door bell >Welcome to McGotham's how can I- >It's the f------ Joker and his Goons >Joker walks up as I start sweating bullets, barely hiding my terror >He wants just a Cheeseburger and Coke >I take a deep breath to collect myself, take his order and money, and make the food. >Calm down more and more as Joker is behaving himself and they're all just watching the restaurant TV while waiting. >Finally have the order set and hand it to him. >Joker checks the food >"Oh my there seems to be a mistake" >I make the horrible mistake of letting my guard down and asking what I did wrong. >"You didn't CUT THE CHEESE!" >Starts laughing manically as his goons hold me in place while Joker pulls his pants down and I'm deep in his Clown Cutter as he rips the dankest, wettest fart. >I gag and fall to the ground, gasping for air. >Joker and his goons walk off, laughing all the way. Christ I hate this f------ town.

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My name is Earl and Final Destination are basically the same thing | /r/Greentext

File (hide): 1745429606571.png (537.87 KB, 2005x1920, 521:384. cached Image.png) ImgOpsigdb >immaterial abstract universal constants are objectively real and rule the universe (Karma/Death) [-] Anonymous 15 minutes ago No.355731 [Watch Thread] FINAL DESTINATION MY NAME IS >said inescapable aspects of fate are at least seemingly personified and sentient EARE >Cannot be bargained with, but can (temporarily) be cheated, any attempts to avoid Karma/Death will exponentially make the punishment worse >Some people are just more sensitive to these constants' presence than others,never really explained why My name is Earl and Final Destination could easily exist in the same universe, they just focus on different aspects of fate Anonymous 10 minutes ago No.355732 Hi crab man! Hi eARK! Throw in quantum leap and you got yourself deterministic stew!
File (hide): 1745429606571.png (537.87 KB, 2005x1920, 521:384. cached Image.png) ImgOpsigdb >immaterial abstract universal constants are objectively real and rule the universe (Karma/Death) [-] Anonymous 15 minutes ago No.355731 [Watch Thread] FINAL DESTINATION MY NAME IS >said inescapable aspects of fate are at least seemingly personified and sentient EARE >Cannot be bargained with, but can (temporarily) be cheated, any attempts to avoid Karma/Death will exponentially make the punishment worse >Some people are just more sensitive to these constants' presence than others,never really explained why My name is Earl and Final Destination could easily exist in the same universe, they just focus on different aspects of fate Anonymous 10 minutes ago No.355732 Hi crab man! Hi eARK! Throw in quantum leap and you got yourself deterministic stew!

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Anon saw The Batman (2022) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)21:02:42 No.146438710 the batman.jpg 67 KB JPG >Gets multiple people killed to do a cool slow walk Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)21:04:45 No.146438732 >>146438710 (OP) # like you wouldn't do the same : Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)23:42:00 No.146440591 >>146438710 (OP) # And he gets the wrong guy because he flunked high school Spanish. Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)23:44:29 No.146440619 >Penguin at this time was just Sofia's driver who lucked into overseeing Drops production Canonically murdered more people than Penguin had
: Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)21:02:42 No.146438710 the batman.jpg 67 KB JPG >Gets multiple people killed to do a cool slow walk Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)21:04:45 No.146438732 >>146438710 (OP) # like you wouldn't do the same : Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)23:42:00 No.146440591 >>146438710 (OP) # And he gets the wrong guy because he flunked high school Spanish. Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)23:44:29 No.146440619 >Penguin at this time was just Sofia's driver who lucked into overseeing Drops production Canonically murdered more people than Penguin had

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Anon wants mcblowjob | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/22(Mon)20:39:46 No.879204235 2d1.jpg 29 KB JPG >be me >Work at McDonald's >Drunk lady asks me if I want a b------ >I tell her "wouldn't that be a mcblowjob" I didn't get my mcblowjob
: Anonymous 05/30/22(Mon)20:39:46 No.879204235 2d1.jpg 29 KB JPG >be me >Work at McDonald's >Drunk lady asks me if I want a b------ >I tell her "wouldn't that be a mcblowjob" I didn't get my mcblowjob

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Anon knows what's up | /r/Greentext

>get in H 2019-honda-civic-sedan-1558453497.jpg 21 KB JPG >door closes >*VROOOOOOOM" >suddenly on a new place do you guys really believe in this
>get in H 2019-honda-civic-sedan-1558453497.jpg 21 KB JPG >door closes >*VROOOOOOOM" >suddenly on a new place do you guys really believe in this

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Motivation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/27/24(Sat) 17:27:12 No.41269290 >"You can't even lift 15-pound weights for 5 minutes? Wow Anon, not gonna lie, that's pretty lame. To think I was going to let you bang me right after this. But why would I ever want your overweight lazy ass inside of me? You know what, that's it, I'm gonna be your personal coach! You better get ready to work hard, because we aren't stopping until you've got a body that can f--- me so hard that I won't be able to walk or fly for weeks! Now get on it! I wanna see 500 push-ups! NOW!" 307 KB PNG Anonymous >>41269290 (OP) # 07/27/24(Sat) 17:50:09 No.41269375 >R---. >>41269380 # >>41270237 # : Anonymous >>41269290 (OP) # 07/27/24(Sat) 17:51:24 No.41269379 Not gonna lie, if your waifu is willing to commit to help you become a better you instead of finding someone who's not a p------------, she's a keeper and you should be thankful. >>41269402 # >>41269434 # >>41269541 # >>41270117 # >>41270493 #
Anonymous 07/27/24(Sat) 17:27:12 No.41269290 >"You can't even lift 15-pound weights for 5 minutes? Wow Anon, not gonna lie, that's pretty lame. To think I was going to let you bang me right after this. But why would I ever want your overweight lazy ass inside of me? You know what, that's it, I'm gonna be your personal coach! You better get ready to work hard, because we aren't stopping until you've got a body that can f--- me so hard that I won't be able to walk or fly for weeks! Now get on it! I wanna see 500 push-ups! NOW!" 307 KB PNG Anonymous >>41269290 (OP) # 07/27/24(Sat) 17:50:09 No.41269375 >R---. >>41269380 # >>41270237 # : Anonymous >>41269290 (OP) # 07/27/24(Sat) 17:51:24 No.41269379 Not gonna lie, if your waifu is willing to commit to help you become a better you instead of finding someone who's not a p------------, she's a keeper and you should be thankful. >>41269402 # >>41269434 # >>41269541 # >>41270117 # >>41270493 #

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Answer the fucking question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 79 KB JPG FURFIL YOUR FURRY FANTASY TRY NOW [Advertise on 4chan] 11/29/24(Fri)13:35:00 No.928025579 How many times did you play with your peepee this week?
Anonymous 79 KB JPG FURFIL YOUR FURRY FANTASY TRY NOW [Advertise on 4chan] 11/29/24(Fri)13:35:00 No.928025579 How many times did you play with your peepee this week?

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anon goes to a funeral | /r/Greentext

Anonymous autistic brainded 37 KB JPG >mfw 01/09/19(Wed)14:52:54 No.50326103 >be me >be 20yo low iq redneck >at a funeral >come over to the mother to pay respects >say "congratulation" instead of condolences
Anonymous autistic brainded 37 KB JPG >mfw 01/09/19(Wed)14:52:54 No.50326103 >be me >be 20yo low iq redneck >at a funeral >come over to the mother to pay respects >say "congratulation" instead of condolences

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