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Greentext Stories - Images (45,722 results)

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My name is Earl and Final Destination are basically the same thing | /r/Greentext

File (hide): 1745429606571.png (537.87 KB, 2005x1920, 521:384. cached Image.png) ImgOpsigdb >immaterial abstract universal constants are objectively real and rule the universe (Karma/Death) [-] Anonymous 15 minutes ago No.355731 [Watch Thread] FINAL DESTINATION MY NAME IS >said inescapable aspects of fate are at least seemingly personified and sentient EARE >Cannot be bargained with, but can (temporarily) be cheated, any attempts to avoid Karma/Death will exponentially make the punishment worse >Some people are just more sensitive to these constants' presence than others,never really explained why My name is Earl and Final Destination could easily exist in the same universe, they just focus on different aspects of fate Anonymous 10 minutes ago No.355732 Hi crab man! Hi eARK! Throw in quantum leap and you got yourself deterministic stew!
File (hide): 1745429606571.png (537.87 KB, 2005x1920, 521:384. cached Image.png) ImgOpsigdb >immaterial abstract universal constants are objectively real and rule the universe (Karma/Death) [-] Anonymous 15 minutes ago No.355731 [Watch Thread] FINAL DESTINATION MY NAME IS >said inescapable aspects of fate are at least seemingly personified and sentient EARE >Cannot be bargained with, but can (temporarily) be cheated, any attempts to avoid Karma/Death will exponentially make the punishment worse >Some people are just more sensitive to these constants' presence than others,never really explained why My name is Earl and Final Destination could easily exist in the same universe, they just focus on different aspects of fate Anonymous 10 minutes ago No.355732 Hi crab man! Hi eARK! Throw in quantum leap and you got yourself deterministic stew!

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Anon saw The Batman (2022) | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)21:02:42 No.146438710 the batman.jpg 67 KB JPG >Gets multiple people killed to do a cool slow walk Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)21:04:45 No.146438732 >>146438710 (OP) # like you wouldn't do the same : Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)23:42:00 No.146440591 >>146438710 (OP) # And he gets the wrong guy because he flunked high school Spanish. Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)23:44:29 No.146440619 >Penguin at this time was just Sofia's driver who lucked into overseeing Drops production Canonically murdered more people than Penguin had
: Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)21:02:42 No.146438710 the batman.jpg 67 KB JPG >Gets multiple people killed to do a cool slow walk Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)21:04:45 No.146438732 >>146438710 (OP) # like you wouldn't do the same : Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)23:42:00 No.146440591 >>146438710 (OP) # And he gets the wrong guy because he flunked high school Spanish. Anonymous 11/20/24(Wed)23:44:29 No.146440619 >Penguin at this time was just Sofia's driver who lucked into overseeing Drops production Canonically murdered more people than Penguin had

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Anon wants mcblowjob | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/30/22(Mon)20:39:46 No.879204235 2d1.jpg 29 KB JPG >be me >Work at McDonald's >Drunk lady asks me if I want a b------ >I tell her "wouldn't that be a mcblowjob" I didn't get my mcblowjob
: Anonymous 05/30/22(Mon)20:39:46 No.879204235 2d1.jpg 29 KB JPG >be me >Work at McDonald's >Drunk lady asks me if I want a b------ >I tell her "wouldn't that be a mcblowjob" I didn't get my mcblowjob

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Anon knows what's up | /r/Greentext

>get in H 2019-honda-civic-sedan-1558453497.jpg 21 KB JPG >door closes >*VROOOOOOOM" >suddenly on a new place do you guys really believe in this
>get in H 2019-honda-civic-sedan-1558453497.jpg 21 KB JPG >door closes >*VROOOOOOOM" >suddenly on a new place do you guys really believe in this

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Motivation | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/27/24(Sat) 17:27:12 No.41269290 >"You can't even lift 15-pound weights for 5 minutes? Wow Anon, not gonna lie, that's pretty lame. To think I was going to let you bang me right after this. But why would I ever want your overweight lazy ass inside of me? You know what, that's it, I'm gonna be your personal coach! You better get ready to work hard, because we aren't stopping until you've got a body that can f--- me so hard that I won't be able to walk or fly for weeks! Now get on it! I wanna see 500 push-ups! NOW!" 307 KB PNG Anonymous >>41269290 (OP) # 07/27/24(Sat) 17:50:09 No.41269375 >R---. >>41269380 # >>41270237 # : Anonymous >>41269290 (OP) # 07/27/24(Sat) 17:51:24 No.41269379 Not gonna lie, if your waifu is willing to commit to help you become a better you instead of finding someone who's not a p------------, she's a keeper and you should be thankful. >>41269402 # >>41269434 # >>41269541 # >>41270117 # >>41270493 #
Anonymous 07/27/24(Sat) 17:27:12 No.41269290 >"You can't even lift 15-pound weights for 5 minutes? Wow Anon, not gonna lie, that's pretty lame. To think I was going to let you bang me right after this. But why would I ever want your overweight lazy ass inside of me? You know what, that's it, I'm gonna be your personal coach! You better get ready to work hard, because we aren't stopping until you've got a body that can f--- me so hard that I won't be able to walk or fly for weeks! Now get on it! I wanna see 500 push-ups! NOW!" 307 KB PNG Anonymous >>41269290 (OP) # 07/27/24(Sat) 17:50:09 No.41269375 >R---. >>41269380 # >>41270237 # : Anonymous >>41269290 (OP) # 07/27/24(Sat) 17:51:24 No.41269379 Not gonna lie, if your waifu is willing to commit to help you become a better you instead of finding someone who's not a p------------, she's a keeper and you should be thankful. >>41269402 # >>41269434 # >>41269541 # >>41270117 # >>41270493 #

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Answer the fucking question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 79 KB JPG FURFIL YOUR FURRY FANTASY TRY NOW [Advertise on 4chan] 11/29/24(Fri)13:35:00 No.928025579 How many times did you play with your peepee this week?
Anonymous 79 KB JPG FURFIL YOUR FURRY FANTASY TRY NOW [Advertise on 4chan] 11/29/24(Fri)13:35:00 No.928025579 How many times did you play with your peepee this week?

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anon goes to a funeral | /r/Greentext

Anonymous autistic brainded 37 KB JPG >mfw 01/09/19(Wed)14:52:54 No.50326103 >be me >be 20yo low iq redneck >at a funeral >come over to the mother to pay respects >say "congratulation" instead of condolences
Anonymous autistic brainded 37 KB JPG >mfw 01/09/19(Wed)14:52:54 No.50326103 >be me >be 20yo low iq redneck >at a funeral >come over to the mother to pay respects >say "congratulation" instead of condolences

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Enlightenment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 12/05/22(Mon)11:23:51 No.71264467 >Anon asked the great philosopher: are small breasts better, or large? >The great philosopher replied: suppose you had $100 in bills, and $100 in coins, which would weigh more? >The coins! Anon said. >Ahh, the great philosopher responded, but which would have the greater value? >Anon was enlightened.
: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 12/05/22(Mon)11:23:51 No.71264467 >Anon asked the great philosopher: are small breasts better, or large? >The great philosopher replied: suppose you had $100 in bills, and $100 in coins, which would weigh more? >The coins! Anon said. >Ahh, the great philosopher responded, but which would have the greater value? >Anon was enlightened.

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Anon yearns for the field | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 218 KB JPG 04/08/25(Tue) 06:37:07 No.933594014 is there any reason at this point to follow the modern normie life path? >get degree >join rat race >waste life to enrich dying billionaires >hope whats left of society doesn't abandon me when im too old to work >die miserable im thinking of dropping or deprioritizing computer science and focusing on learning to live off the land as much as possible. that seems like a better "investment" into my future. i also just yearn for the fields. Anonymous >>933594014 (OP) # 04/08/25(Tue) 07:14:56 No.933595200 >is there any reason at this point to follow the modern normie life path? People with degrees earn way more on average than those without, despite the "eArN $500k/yr aNd F--- MoDeLs As A pLumMeR" propaganda. Education also offers perspective which is invaluable in broadening your understanding of the world. Which is why the Trump admin wants to abolish education in this country. More aware people can't be controlled as easily. >i also just yearn for the fields. I'm sure you do, Nig r. >>933595485 # >>933596801 # >>933597112 #
Anonymous 218 KB JPG 04/08/25(Tue) 06:37:07 No.933594014 is there any reason at this point to follow the modern normie life path? >get degree >join rat race >waste life to enrich dying billionaires >hope whats left of society doesn't abandon me when im too old to work >die miserable im thinking of dropping or deprioritizing computer science and focusing on learning to live off the land as much as possible. that seems like a better "investment" into my future. i also just yearn for the fields. Anonymous >>933594014 (OP) # 04/08/25(Tue) 07:14:56 No.933595200 >is there any reason at this point to follow the modern normie life path? People with degrees earn way more on average than those without, despite the "eArN $500k/yr aNd F--- MoDeLs As A pLumMeR" propaganda. Education also offers perspective which is invaluable in broadening your understanding of the world. Which is why the Trump admin wants to abolish education in this country. More aware people can't be controlled as easily. >i also just yearn for the fields. I'm sure you do, Nig r. >>933595485 # >>933596801 # >>933597112 #

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Anon shares his soap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)18:17:32 No.31080289 1590256343166.jpg (23 KB, 337x426) * google yandex bing iqdb wait >be in college >communal dorm >take shower and leave soap in the shower by accident >someone used my soap >happens again >s--- and piss in my bottle and leave it there >not long later... >"AAAAAAA YOU ARE, I'LL END YOUR LIFE AAA AAAA I KNOW WHO
Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)18:17:32 No.31080289 1590256343166.jpg (23 KB, 337x426) * google yandex bing iqdb wait >be in college >communal dorm >take shower and leave soap in the shower by accident >someone used my soap >happens again >s--- and piss in my bottle and leave it there >not long later... >"AAAAAAA YOU ARE, I'LL END YOUR LIFE AAA AAAA I KNOW WHO

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Anon gets extorted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 18 KB JPG 08/31/24(Sat)09:10:58 No.31917540 >be/pol/ tier twitter groyper troll >start f------ with some lefty f-- who said some dumb s--- about us by replying with edgy memes >he combs through my account back several years and finds my old reddit account I posted a long time ago >he goes through that and finds my old facebook account i used an even longer time ago, only had one friend (my mom) but she still uses it >f--- >delete everything but he screenshotted it all >he's demanding $500 in bitcoin or he's gonna show them to my mom What do? 13 Replies 1 Image View Thread
Anonymous 18 KB JPG 08/31/24(Sat)09:10:58 No.31917540 >be/pol/ tier twitter groyper troll >start f------ with some lefty f-- who said some dumb s--- about us by replying with edgy memes >he combs through my account back several years and finds my old reddit account I posted a long time ago >he goes through that and finds my old facebook account i used an even longer time ago, only had one friend (my mom) but she still uses it >f--- >delete everything but he screenshotted it all >he's demanding $500 in bitcoin or he's gonna show them to my mom What do? 13 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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Anon doesn't like alcohol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue) 06:32:04 No.63618046 Why does alcohol even exist? >drink alcohol >stumble around all night until I realize its 5 am im drunk and cant sleep >knocking over beer bottles looking like an idiot >just drinking alone >smoke weed >just relax smoke a little bit more later on >just study stuff online or get comfy or order a pizza >makes video games comfy >best thing in the world if your bored >can mix it with a kratom for a really nice relaxing buzz The only thing I like alcohol is that I am a massive p---- shut in with anxiety and its the only way I can talk to people or want to go outside or not shake like a leaf covered in sweat 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue) 06:32:04 No.63618046 Why does alcohol even exist? >drink alcohol >stumble around all night until I realize its 5 am im drunk and cant sleep >knocking over beer bottles looking like an idiot >just drinking alone >smoke weed >just relax smoke a little bit more later on >just study stuff online or get comfy or order a pizza >makes video games comfy >best thing in the world if your bored >can mix it with a kratom for a really nice relaxing buzz The only thing I like alcohol is that I am a massive p---- shut in with anxiety and its the only way I can talk to people or want to go outside or not shake like a leaf covered in sweat 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon learned the long way round | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 63 KB JPG 08/22/23(Tue)10:57:26 No.74475237 drop your retarded childhood stories: >be me, age 12 >hate showering more than anything >it feels gross and i hate getting wet >my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner >i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan >let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom >quickly wet my hair with sink >mom buys it, i get dindin >after a month she gets suspicious >realize i have to step up my game >now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap >also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist >she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet >come up with final version of my genius plan >i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo >then i'll rinse off in the sink >all while the shower runs i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode
Anonymous 63 KB JPG 08/22/23(Tue)10:57:26 No.74475237 drop your retarded childhood stories: >be me, age 12 >hate showering more than anything >it feels gross and i hate getting wet >my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner >i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan >let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom >quickly wet my hair with sink >mom buys it, i get dindin >after a month she gets suspicious >realize i have to step up my game >now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap >also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist >she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet >come up with final version of my genius plan >i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo >then i'll rinse off in the sink >all while the shower runs i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

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Self Defence 101 | /r/Greentext

File: 1330313884.jpg-(7 KB, 180x167, Aarons FaceGAC.jpg) Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:38 No.9610459 >Late last night >Have a fish tank with a light on >Kept seeing shadows in my peripheral vision >Heard sounds like deep breathing >Closet door is open even though I always shut it before I get into bed >"I'm not afraid of you f------" >Something replies >"We're not afraid of you either >NOPE >Home alone in the middle of nowhere >Would be dangerous outside so I have to stay inside >Can't move-frozen with fear >Remember what /x/ says when you're in this situation >Tore off clothes > Masturbated >Haven't been bothered since then. Thank you /x/ for saving my ass Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:41 No.9610474 You're welcome bro Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:43 No.9610484 >masturbated you've been practicing your whole life for this situation
File: 1330313884.jpg-(7 KB, 180x167, Aarons FaceGAC.jpg) Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:38 No.9610459 >Late last night >Have a fish tank with a light on >Kept seeing shadows in my peripheral vision >Heard sounds like deep breathing >Closet door is open even though I always shut it before I get into bed >"I'm not afraid of you f------" >Something replies >"We're not afraid of you either >NOPE >Home alone in the middle of nowhere >Would be dangerous outside so I have to stay inside >Can't move-frozen with fear >Remember what /x/ says when you're in this situation >Tore off clothes > Masturbated >Haven't been bothered since then. Thank you /x/ for saving my ass Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:41 No.9610474 You're welcome bro Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:43 No.9610484 >masturbated you've been practicing your whole life for this situation

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Why 4chan is better than reddit | /r/Greentext

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack
HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

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Anon buys a snickers | /r/Greentext

SNICKERS SNICKER SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS DILES SNICKERS SNICKEND SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERSMUKERS SNICKERS Candy Warehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold
SNICKERS SNICKER SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS DILES SNICKERS SNICKEND SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERSMUKERS SNICKERS Candy Warehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold

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