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Greentext Stories - Images (46,026 results)

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Had a shit first semester, now looking for advice | /r/Greentext

File: weirdface.jpg (77 KB, 1024x768) Bad first semester at uni; slept in girls bed, lost all my friends; feeling hopeless Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)23:44:13 No.33047299 >be me, 19 >first year electrical engineering major >think I might be on the autism spectrum, maybe ADHD too, but never diagnosed >was introverted in high school, tried to be more extroverted in college, succeeded socially >grades tanked, ended up on academic probation, Fs in major classes >focused more on social life than academics, made some friends >roommate sucks, not friends, sleep schedule got messed up >used THC first semester, liked it, made my mind run >eating and exercising was better at college, liked walking and running high for exercise >semester gets worse, get obsessed with a girl, friends slowly pushed me away because of it >became BADLY sleep deprived started walking around campus late at night believing in weird stuff >ended up sleeping in a random girl's dorm room thinking it was for me >cops called, got sent to hospital instead of police station, diagnosed with brief psychotic disorder >inpatient at Day program for a week, no electronics, just left with my thoughts; spent Christmas at the hospital; parents cryed >got prescribed meds (Benadryl for sleep, Zyprexa/Olanzapine for psychosis) >hated the meds, made me feel sleepy and out of place; not a fan of meds >I got diagnosed have Schizoaffective disorder a few months later >now on Propranolol, Zolpidem, and Olanzapine >never been in therapy before this >stressed about future, worried about not having friends when I go to new school >some friends blocked me after the psych episode, embarrassed about stuff I said/did; sad i lost some people; cry about it sometimes >see people post their best moments of the year, feel like s--- for missing out, could've been there >want to get back on track, but feel like motivation is gone >need a job, need motivation, just feel like lying around all day >what do?
File: weirdface.jpg (77 KB, 1024x768) Bad first semester at uni; slept in girls bed, lost all my friends; feeling hopeless Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)23:44:13 No.33047299 >be me, 19 >first year electrical engineering major >think I might be on the autism spectrum, maybe ADHD too, but never diagnosed >was introverted in high school, tried to be more extroverted in college, succeeded socially >grades tanked, ended up on academic probation, Fs in major classes >focused more on social life than academics, made some friends >roommate sucks, not friends, sleep schedule got messed up >used THC first semester, liked it, made my mind run >eating and exercising was better at college, liked walking and running high for exercise >semester gets worse, get obsessed with a girl, friends slowly pushed me away because of it >became BADLY sleep deprived started walking around campus late at night believing in weird stuff >ended up sleeping in a random girl's dorm room thinking it was for me >cops called, got sent to hospital instead of police station, diagnosed with brief psychotic disorder >inpatient at Day program for a week, no electronics, just left with my thoughts; spent Christmas at the hospital; parents cryed >got prescribed meds (Benadryl for sleep, Zyprexa/Olanzapine for psychosis) >hated the meds, made me feel sleepy and out of place; not a fan of meds >I got diagnosed have Schizoaffective disorder a few months later >now on Propranolol, Zolpidem, and Olanzapine >never been in therapy before this >stressed about future, worried about not having friends when I go to new school >some friends blocked me after the psych episode, embarrassed about stuff I said/did; sad i lost some people; cry about it sometimes >see people post their best moments of the year, feel like s--- for missing out, could've been there >want to get back on track, but feel like motivation is gone >need a job, need motivation, just feel like lying around all day >what do?

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You really can't anymore | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)03:05:55 No.709354424 Tolga: sorry dreamski Tolga: we playing friends opnly Tolga: i hv to kick you dremskiy: im frend Tolga: dontmake this more difficult Z DISPATCHES O C EFFECTS 1 174683843213753929.jpg 98 KB JPG how do you make friends in online games?
Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)03:05:55 No.709354424 Tolga: sorry dreamski Tolga: we playing friends opnly Tolga: i hv to kick you dremskiy: im frend Tolga: dontmake this more difficult Z DISPATCHES O C EFFECTS 1 174683843213753929.jpg 98 KB JPG how do you make friends in online games?

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The only good post on r9k nowadays: | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:27:00 No.81134795 sea-salt-i-need-you-sea-salt-v0-aa3v3b6oufre1.png 110 KB PNG SEAAA SALT! I NEED YOU SEA SALLT!!! Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun) 18:04:21 No.81135665 >>81134795 (OP) # WHERE IS OMNI MAN? : Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)18:05:08 No.81135671 STAND READY FOR MY ARRIVAL, WORM.
: Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:27:00 No.81134795 sea-salt-i-need-you-sea-salt-v0-aa3v3b6oufre1.png 110 KB PNG SEAAA SALT! I NEED YOU SEA SALLT!!! Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun) 18:04:21 No.81135665 >>81134795 (OP) # WHERE IS OMNI MAN? : Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)18:05:08 No.81135671 STAND READY FOR MY ARRIVAL, WORM.

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Man of Blood | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I just want to be normal >mfw gay >Ugly 05/11/25(Sun)12:43:22 No.81132643 3.55 MB PNG >Autistic >Never going to have kids >Never going to find a relationship with someone >Every religion hates your guts >Must remain celibate while everyone you know gets to have a relationship with someone >No salvation from this >Nothing to distract me from this >Every day I am reminded of this curse Why the f--- do I exist? What is the point in me?
Anonymous I just want to be normal >mfw gay >Ugly 05/11/25(Sun)12:43:22 No.81132643 3.55 MB PNG >Autistic >Never going to have kids >Never going to find a relationship with someone >Every religion hates your guts >Must remain celibate while everyone you know gets to have a relationship with someone >No salvation from this >Nothing to distract me from this >Every day I am reminded of this curse Why the f--- do I exist? What is the point in me?

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Predators in the Woods | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous Looking for a gf 05/11/25(Sun)14:11:55 No.81133424 697 KB JPG Looking for a gf, write your application here Requirements >Moderately chubby with b------- >Likes literature and music, also has other artistic interests >Likes cooking >Pleaseant to be around >Don't break my balls >Would like to live in the middle of nowhere Anonymous You've described me perfectly 05/11/25(Sun)14:40:41 No.81133697 Except I already live in the middle of nowhere and I dont want company
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous Looking for a gf 05/11/25(Sun)14:11:55 No.81133424 697 KB JPG Looking for a gf, write your application here Requirements >Moderately chubby with b------- >Likes literature and music, also has other artistic interests >Likes cooking >Pleaseant to be around >Don't break my balls >Would like to live in the middle of nowhere Anonymous You've described me perfectly 05/11/25(Sun)14:40:41 No.81133697 Except I already live in the middle of nowhere and I dont want company

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Catch of the Day | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous >Be me ▼Settings Mobile Home 05/11/25(Sun)16:45:36 No.81134956 333 KB PNG >Wake up to phone notification >Receive a text from Just Eat (SlopHub US) >I get a discount code of 10GBP on orders more than 15GBP >There's always a catch >Go online and order a fryup >Added 5 extra bacon to make up the cost >Order a collection for 5.50GBP >Bargain >Go and collect it >FFW to when I get home >Literally heap it up onto a plate >Eat the greasiest meal in the world >FFW to work >Holding in a massive fart or a s--- >I cant tell, don't want to risk it >Feels like my bowels are trying to hold in a beach ball though >Finally go to the toilet >Moment of truth >I sit down >Unclench >A jet stream of fart blows out of my a------ >Not like a BRAP or a balloon deflating, just a very smooth fart >It comes out with such speed that my insides all close together really fast, making an audible slap and sending a shockwave throughout my body So how was your day?
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous >Be me ▼Settings Mobile Home 05/11/25(Sun)16:45:36 No.81134956 333 KB PNG >Wake up to phone notification >Receive a text from Just Eat (SlopHub US) >I get a discount code of 10GBP on orders more than 15GBP >There's always a catch >Go online and order a fryup >Added 5 extra bacon to make up the cost >Order a collection for 5.50GBP >Bargain >Go and collect it >FFW to when I get home >Literally heap it up onto a plate >Eat the greasiest meal in the world >FFW to work >Holding in a massive fart or a s--- >I cant tell, don't want to risk it >Feels like my bowels are trying to hold in a beach ball though >Finally go to the toilet >Moment of truth >I sit down >Unclench >A jet stream of fart blows out of my a------ >Not like a BRAP or a balloon deflating, just a very smooth fart >It comes out with such speed that my insides all close together really fast, making an audible slap and sending a shockwave throughout my body So how was your day?

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How I met my Mother | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home what is your LEAST favorite memory of your mother that you have? 05/11/25(Sun)16:35:47 No.81134869 remember to tell your mom you love her today she probably needs it 136 KB JPG Anonymous >>81134869 (OP) 05/11/25(Sun)16:37:21 No.81134881 When I walked in on her in the bathroom and saw her huge hairy bush and saggy t--- as she angrily ran towards me to shut the door. Traumatized me.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous ▼ Settings Mobile Home what is your LEAST favorite memory of your mother that you have? 05/11/25(Sun)16:35:47 No.81134869 remember to tell your mom you love her today she probably needs it 136 KB JPG Anonymous >>81134869 (OP) 05/11/25(Sun)16:37:21 No.81134881 When I walked in on her in the bathroom and saw her huge hairy bush and saggy t--- as she angrily ran towards me to shut the door. Traumatized me.

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London Calling | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: nWbnP3ZV) 05/11/25(Sun)14:34:42 No.504480983 CONE ABGARD FOR BOAT HIRE 294 KB JPG How cone nobody talks about the nice parts of London? Anonymous (ID: gGfPMwOQ) >>504480983 (OP). Nice parts? 05/11/25(Sun)14:35:55 No.504481061
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: nWbnP3ZV) 05/11/25(Sun)14:34:42 No.504480983 CONE ABGARD FOR BOAT HIRE 294 KB JPG How cone nobody talks about the nice parts of London? Anonymous (ID: gGfPMwOQ) >>504480983 (OP). Nice parts? 05/11/25(Sun)14:35:55 No.504481061

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Old but gold greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 6 hours ago >1 in the morning 434656828 >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES
Anonymous 6 hours ago >1 in the morning 434656828 >GF at the time wanted to get food and rent a movie to fool around to before bed >Stop by a redbox at a walgreens near her place >Black guy dressed like f------ Peter Pan or something pulls up to us in his car by the redbox >Figure, "oh s--- here we go, going to have to fight some nog" >"Nah y'all don't need to be paying for that now, f--- a redbox my dude" >Hands us a Wal-Mart bag filled with about 40 burnt disks with recent movie titles on them >Backseat is full of these bags >Go to shake his hand and say "Jesus man, thanks. What's your name?" >"Who me? Y'all can just call me... N---- ROBIN HOOD!" >Dude peels out of the parking lot and speeds off into the night >GF and I confused as f--- >Go home, put in the disks >About half of the movies are HD rips of what the disks says they are, other half are actually just filled to the brim with new brazzers scenes Unironically the most based dude I've ever met 6 REPLIES

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Ayy oop lad! No knoife, no loicense! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FZpC9sjR 05/10/25(Sat)23:52:14 No.504439159 UK woman loses jail term appeal after killing man as he sexually assaulted her BLUNDERS AND TRAGEDY FAILED BY THE STATE >get r---- at 14 and r----- not charged >carry a knife and stab second r----- >life in prison Why is self defense illegal in bongladesh? >>504439159 (OP) # >oi, hick hoe, why u got no loicense 4 dat knoife? >>504439159 (OP) # >bongladesh Kek many such cases in bongostan gott strafe angloids >>504439159 (OP) # >bongladesh kek well done lad
: Anonymous (ID: FZpC9sjR 05/10/25(Sat)23:52:14 No.504439159 UK woman loses jail term appeal after killing man as he sexually assaulted her BLUNDERS AND TRAGEDY FAILED BY THE STATE >get r---- at 14 and r----- not charged >carry a knife and stab second r----- >life in prison Why is self defense illegal in bongladesh? >>504439159 (OP) # >oi, hick hoe, why u got no loicense 4 dat knoife? >>504439159 (OP) # >bongladesh Kek many such cases in bongostan gott strafe angloids >>504439159 (OP) # >bongladesh kek well done lad

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youtube in 2025 be like | /r/Greentext

Anonymous YouTube 3 KB PNG 05/09/25(Fri)04:12:58 No.105206511 >>ayoo wassup youtube, cumguzzler420 here! this video was brought to you by [mental health scam] and [predatory gambling mobileshit] and who could forget [scam VPN that has been breached 9001 times] >video is interrupted by youtube showing crypto scam and health scam that gets people killed >video gets interrupted again showing Al voice shilling some garbage, Al Waifu, and some guy who invented the dehumidifier for the 7000th time >>don't forget to like and subscribe and thanks for Goyslop Inc. for sponsoring this video! Name a more cancerous website
Anonymous YouTube 3 KB PNG 05/09/25(Fri)04:12:58 No.105206511 >>ayoo wassup youtube, cumguzzler420 here! this video was brought to you by [mental health scam] and [predatory gambling mobileshit] and who could forget [scam VPN that has been breached 9001 times] >video is interrupted by youtube showing crypto scam and health scam that gets people killed >video gets interrupted again showing Al voice shilling some garbage, Al Waifu, and some guy who invented the dehumidifier for the 7000th time >>don't forget to like and subscribe and thanks for Goyslop Inc. for sponsoring this video! Name a more cancerous website

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Gonna need more monitors | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)20:37:35 No.709431576 >game has 4 wikis 22 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)20:37:35 No.709431576 >game has 4 wikis 22 KB JPG

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The gaming market is a bloated, rotting husk of its former glory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >60-80 hours 05/10/25(Sat)00:08:21 No.709343379 clair-obscur-expedition-33-maelle-in-lumiere.jpg 176 KB JPG >amazing visuals and art designs >crazy good soundtrack >memorable characters >adult, well written story and dialogues >innovative, fun combat >zero woke s--- >40$ And somehow american and japanese publishers think they will be allowed to put their derivative soulless slop on the shelves at 80$ pricetag??
Anonymous >60-80 hours 05/10/25(Sat)00:08:21 No.709343379 clair-obscur-expedition-33-maelle-in-lumiere.jpg 176 KB JPG >amazing visuals and art designs >crazy good soundtrack >memorable characters >adult, well written story and dialogues >innovative, fun combat >zero woke s--- >40$ And somehow american and japanese publishers think they will be allowed to put their derivative soulless slop on the shelves at 80$ pricetag??

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Anon Likes Top Gun (1986) | /r/Greentext

File: Maverick.jpg (746 KB, 2018x1226) "MAVERICK ☐ TOP GUN THREAD! Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:39:17 No.210519596 ► >>210519613 >>210520856 >>210521234 > Inverts plane to flip off enemy pilot > Disobeys direct orders multiple times > Sexually harassed multiple women > Buzzes the control tower on more than one occasion > Fully admits to being a danger to others > F---- an Admirals daughter > Drug dependence on speed > Cheats at a game of volleyball > Ego writes checks his body can't cash > Kills his co pilot on purpose > Crashes multiple planes > Has murdered at least 5 people > Has sexual relations with Iceman > Goes below the hard deck multiple times > Takes a highway to a dangerzone > Gets promoted to Captain >> Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:43:37 No.210519649 File: feafafaf.jpg (127 KB, 1023x768) TEX HOU >GOD DAMN IT, MAVERICK! You knuckle heads have crashed six multimillion dollar planes this week, killed four of your squadron, destroyed an air-craft carrier, sent our relations with NATO back 20 years and started world war 3! Now, I could punish you but instead I have a top secret mission for you and by god only you have the skills to pull it off! ☐ Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)18:26:19 No.210520856 >>210519596 (OP) >Pray to Xenu >>210521621 >Shoot down civilian DC-10 because they look like aliens >Fly into volcano to recover souls >Eject and land on couch >Injure back from ejection and can no longer do stunts ☐ Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)19:04:40 No.210521234 ► File: tcsweat.jpg (28 KB, 381x254) >>210519596 (OP). >Drug dependence on speed Good point. No wonder that fool was so sweaty. Never made the connection aka speed = methamphetamines, 100% explains Maverick behavior. They used to dose fighter pilots with that s--- Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)19:34:28 No.210521621► >>210520856 ACKSHUALLY Xenu is the villain. Please don't unsult Tom Cruise's scifi religion like this.
File: Maverick.jpg (746 KB, 2018x1226) "MAVERICK ☐ TOP GUN THREAD! Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:39:17 No.210519596 ► >>210519613 >>210520856 >>210521234 > Inverts plane to flip off enemy pilot > Disobeys direct orders multiple times > Sexually harassed multiple women > Buzzes the control tower on more than one occasion > Fully admits to being a danger to others > F---- an Admirals daughter > Drug dependence on speed > Cheats at a game of volleyball > Ego writes checks his body can't cash > Kills his co pilot on purpose > Crashes multiple planes > Has murdered at least 5 people > Has sexual relations with Iceman > Goes below the hard deck multiple times > Takes a highway to a dangerzone > Gets promoted to Captain >> Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)16:43:37 No.210519649 File: feafafaf.jpg (127 KB, 1023x768) TEX HOU >GOD DAMN IT, MAVERICK! You knuckle heads have crashed six multimillion dollar planes this week, killed four of your squadron, destroyed an air-craft carrier, sent our relations with NATO back 20 years and started world war 3! Now, I could punish you but instead I have a top secret mission for you and by god only you have the skills to pull it off! ☐ Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)18:26:19 No.210520856 >>210519596 (OP) >Pray to Xenu >>210521621 >Shoot down civilian DC-10 because they look like aliens >Fly into volcano to recover souls >Eject and land on couch >Injure back from ejection and can no longer do stunts ☐ Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)19:04:40 No.210521234 ► File: tcsweat.jpg (28 KB, 381x254) >>210519596 (OP). >Drug dependence on speed Good point. No wonder that fool was so sweaty. Never made the connection aka speed = methamphetamines, 100% explains Maverick behavior. They used to dose fighter pilots with that s--- Anonymous 05/11/25(Sun)19:34:28 No.210521621► >>210520856 ACKSHUALLY Xenu is the villain. Please don't unsult Tom Cruise's scifi religion like this.

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Anon is kickpuncher | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/05/2025, 11:34:03 No.23245165 67 KB JPEG be me in school new girl in class. Cute nerves finally go say hi. Hi 'hi anon' ragingerection.jpg leave. Can't get erection down. go home wait it out find super glue. extrastrength.exe glue penis to leg //this should work// next day 'hi anon' kick her in the face mfw glue and boner turned me into anime kicker
Anonymous 11/05/2025, 11:34:03 No.23245165 67 KB JPEG be me in school new girl in class. Cute nerves finally go say hi. Hi 'hi anon' ragingerection.jpg leave. Can't get erection down. go home wait it out find super glue. extrastrength.exe glue penis to leg //this should work// next day 'hi anon' kick her in the face mfw glue and boner turned me into anime kicker

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/lit/ Anon uses internet | /r/Greentext

File: IMG 7680.png (185 KB, 600x600) >scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll >click click click >click click scroll >scroll scroll click Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)03:53:29 No.24371676 >scroll scroll click >click click scroll >scroll scroll scroll scroll >click scroll click click >click scroll click >click click click >tap tap tap.. >click click scroll >scroll scroll click >scroll scroll click scroll >click click scroll >scroll click click scroll >scroll scroll click >scroll scroll click >click click scroll
File: IMG 7680.png (185 KB, 600x600) >scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll scroll >click click click >click click scroll >scroll scroll click Anonymous 05/10/25(Sat)03:53:29 No.24371676 >scroll scroll click >click click scroll >scroll scroll scroll scroll >click scroll click click >click scroll click >click click click >tap tap tap.. >click click scroll >scroll scroll click >scroll scroll click scroll >click click scroll >scroll click click scroll >scroll scroll click >scroll scroll click >click click scroll

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