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Greentext Stories - Images (46,056 results)

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Goondrawal | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Smartfags pls explain 336 KB GIF >do no fap 05/14/25(Wed)01:22:34 No.81160551 >bed time >kind of sleepy >start gooning >get sleepy and nearly fall asleep a couple times >keep going and coom >heart rate becomes elevated >can't fall asleep now >day 2 sleep like a baby no issues >day 4+ toss and turn all night Why is this happening? 5 Replies : Anonymous View Thread 05/14/25(Wed)01:24:41 No.81160560 I would explain, but you called me a "smartfag"! Figure it out for yourself!
Anonymous Smartfags pls explain 336 KB GIF >do no fap 05/14/25(Wed)01:22:34 No.81160551 >bed time >kind of sleepy >start gooning >get sleepy and nearly fall asleep a couple times >keep going and coom >heart rate becomes elevated >can't fall asleep now >day 2 sleep like a baby no issues >day 4+ toss and turn all night Why is this happening? 5 Replies : Anonymous View Thread 05/14/25(Wed)01:24:41 No.81160560 I would explain, but you called me a "smartfag"! Figure it out for yourself!

Greentext Stories
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anon does not like blippi | /r/Greentext

Anonymous fine 13 KB JPG 05/14/25(Wed) 17:52:07 No.934503854 >be me >lying sick on the couch coughing every 5 seconds >cant stand up to do anything cause my ribs hurt when i stand and walk >sucks.jpg >sisters walk into living room >they do it all the time so it's >they switch the tv on >put blippi's new animated tv show on >it's this episode about him wondering why people burp >*5 or so minutes of blippi and his friends running around asking things with his magical blippimobile* >they get into this guys body using tiny powers >the guy starts coughing >blippi goes "he's coughing up a stooooorm!!" >they all rush out of there laughing and cheering like it's a fun pastime to go do with your friends >even the guy coughing starts laughing a little bit >they're still happy and laughing ad blippi says "now i know why people burp!" >all my half asleep mind took from it was "hey kids, coughing isn't that bad, it's actually a fun little game you can play with your friends and it's fun!" f--- you animated blippi. f--- you and your softly shaped animated friends. i know there only exists a 100 day cough but i hope doctors discover a 500 year cough and the reason why they know it exists is because you have it. c---.
Anonymous fine 13 KB JPG 05/14/25(Wed) 17:52:07 No.934503854 >be me >lying sick on the couch coughing every 5 seconds >cant stand up to do anything cause my ribs hurt when i stand and walk >sucks.jpg >sisters walk into living room >they do it all the time so it's >they switch the tv on >put blippi's new animated tv show on >it's this episode about him wondering why people burp >*5 or so minutes of blippi and his friends running around asking things with his magical blippimobile* >they get into this guys body using tiny powers >the guy starts coughing >blippi goes "he's coughing up a stooooorm!!" >they all rush out of there laughing and cheering like it's a fun pastime to go do with your friends >even the guy coughing starts laughing a little bit >they're still happy and laughing ad blippi says "now i know why people burp!" >all my half asleep mind took from it was "hey kids, coughing isn't that bad, it's actually a fun little game you can play with your friends and it's fun!" f--- you animated blippi. f--- you and your softly shaped animated friends. i know there only exists a 100 day cough but i hope doctors discover a 500 year cough and the reason why they know it exists is because you have it. c---.

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Honestly, that would be a fun watch | /r/Greentext

Anonymous ZANSI 3 05/11/25(Sun)12:44:15 No.709445654 Family 1746723431633107.jpg 46 KB JPG >"We asked 100 gamers how to heal the video game industry..."
Anonymous ZANSI 3 05/11/25(Sun)12:44:15 No.709445654 Family 1746723431633107.jpg 46 KB JPG >"We asked 100 gamers how to heal the video game industry..."

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Anon makes the case for abortions | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: ZYXul12a 64 KB JPG 05/02/22(Mon)21:59:48 No.375796353 >mfw laid regularly >mfw live in a blue state >mfw women aren't apprehensive about sex due to access to birth control Leave it to trumptards to cheer to their own cucking Imao
Anonymous (ID: ZYXul12a 64 KB JPG 05/02/22(Mon)21:59:48 No.375796353 >mfw laid regularly >mfw live in a blue state >mfw women aren't apprehensive about sex due to access to birth control Leave it to trumptards to cheer to their own cucking Imao

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Weird Feelings | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: rCxNAGRh) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 05/14/25(Wed) 06:01:27 No.504677849 HATE F-- ENABLERS GED HATE F--- NOV YOU HEL GSA GOD HATES YOU F--- FA COUR GOD HATES F--- .COM image_2025-05-14_055403840.png >Gay sex is a sin 1.14 MB PNG >It's so disturbing and unnatural GOD LATES >I must make my entire personality about it >I must join a church who never stops talking about GAY SEX >I can't stop thinking about GAY SEX >Like, why would you wanna do that? >It's literally everywhere! >Every time I close my eyes, I see GAY SEX! >Whenever I eat a banana, I see GAY SEX! >Whenever I see a broomstick, I see GAY SEX! >Whenever I see a group of guys, I see GAY SEX! >Whenever I see a handsome tall chad, I see GAY SEX! >Guys, we must end GAY SEX so I don't have to think about it ever again! >GAAAAAAAAAY SEEEEEEEX!!!!!!!! Why are homophobes obsessed with gay sex?
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: rCxNAGRh) ▼ Settings Mobile Home 05/14/25(Wed) 06:01:27 No.504677849 HATE F-- ENABLERS GED HATE F--- NOV YOU HEL GSA GOD HATES YOU F--- FA COUR GOD HATES F--- .COM image_2025-05-14_055403840.png >Gay sex is a sin 1.14 MB PNG >It's so disturbing and unnatural GOD LATES >I must make my entire personality about it >I must join a church who never stops talking about GAY SEX >I can't stop thinking about GAY SEX >Like, why would you wanna do that? >It's literally everywhere! >Every time I close my eyes, I see GAY SEX! >Whenever I eat a banana, I see GAY SEX! >Whenever I see a broomstick, I see GAY SEX! >Whenever I see a group of guys, I see GAY SEX! >Whenever I see a handsome tall chad, I see GAY SEX! >Guys, we must end GAY SEX so I don't have to think about it ever again! >GAAAAAAAAAY SEEEEEEEX!!!!!!!! Why are homophobes obsessed with gay sex?

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Bog standard default | /r/Greentext

PIETRO BERETTA GARDONE V.T.-MADE IN ITALY 92fs_zoom003.png 301 KB PNG >we need a gun for the main character
PIETRO BERETTA GARDONE V.T.-MADE IN ITALY 92fs_zoom003.png 301 KB PNG >we need a gun for the main character

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anon loves Magma | /r/Greentext

/mu/ Anonymous Mon 05 May >>126311513 my p---- loves Magma /mu/ Anonymous Mon 05 May >>126311513 my dong loves Magma /mu/ Anonymous Mon 05 May >>126311513 my dog loves Magma
/mu/ Anonymous Mon 05 May >>126311513 my p---- loves Magma /mu/ Anonymous Mon 05 May >>126311513 my dong loves Magma /mu/ Anonymous Mon 05 May >>126311513 my dog loves Magma

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Anon gets head | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 98 KB JPG >check it >yup, that's a tick >be me 05/13/25(Tue)23:13:18 No.8115673 >work for landscaping company >come home, see a tick on myself, kill it >remember I saw a weird spot on my d--- earlier while taking a piss that I assumed was just some dirt that got in there somehow >ohshit.jpg >trying to pull it out rips it in half, huge ordeal to get the rest >Technically this means I got my d--- sucked Later virgins : Anonymous 56 minutes ago 05/13/25(Tue)23:17:07 No.8115675 See you on arr slash greentexterino n----- >>81156833 # Anonymous >>81156756 # 05/13/25(Tue)23:27:15 No.8115683 Hating board culture just because greentexts are content farmed on other platforms is gay.
Anonymous 98 KB JPG >check it >yup, that's a tick >be me 05/13/25(Tue)23:13:18 No.8115673 >work for landscaping company >come home, see a tick on myself, kill it >remember I saw a weird spot on my d--- earlier while taking a piss that I assumed was just some dirt that got in there somehow >ohshit.jpg >trying to pull it out rips it in half, huge ordeal to get the rest >Technically this means I got my d--- sucked Later virgins : Anonymous 56 minutes ago 05/13/25(Tue)23:17:07 No.8115675 See you on arr slash greentexterino n----- >>81156833 # Anonymous >>81156756 # 05/13/25(Tue)23:27:15 No.8115683 Hating board culture just because greentexts are content farmed on other platforms is gay.

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White to Wong | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 05/13/25(Tue)10:30:12 No.81152501 >you wake up tommorow >find out your in the body of Chinese Chad who is 6ft >you recently got accepted into MIT AI department >you have an iq of 150 >you have the body of an Olympic athlete 904 KB JPG How would you feel 05/13/25(Tue)11:35:41 No.81153022 Anonymous >>81152501 (OP) >look under my pants >kill myself
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Settings Mobile Home 05/13/25(Tue)10:30:12 No.81152501 >you wake up tommorow >find out your in the body of Chinese Chad who is 6ft >you recently got accepted into MIT AI department >you have an iq of 150 >you have the body of an Olympic athlete 904 KB JPG How would you feel 05/13/25(Tue)11:35:41 No.81153022 Anonymous >>81152501 (OP) >look under my pants >kill myself

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Prophetanon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 54 KB JPG 05/12/25(Mon)13:57:55 No. 17682983 Hundreds of years ago: >person says god talked to them >person claims to be a prophet >everyone believes the person >person becomes the most known person in human history due to being a prophet Today >person says god talked to them >person claims to be a prophet >person is declared a schizo >person is locked up in a asylum and forcefed meds due to being a schizo why?
Anonymous 54 KB JPG 05/12/25(Mon)13:57:55 No. 17682983 Hundreds of years ago: >person says god talked to them >person claims to be a prophet >everyone believes the person >person becomes the most known person in human history due to being a prophet Today >person says god talked to them >person claims to be a prophet >person is declared a schizo >person is locked up in a asylum and forcefed meds due to being a schizo why?

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Anon likes gentle menticide | /r/Greentext

Menticide sounds actually very pleasant Anonymous 05/13/25(Tue)12:17:45 No.81151148 >tfw no poison ivy to kiss you, take that horrible burden of free will away, and turn you into her mindless drone. Why even live? Anonymous 05/13/25(Tue)12:21:55 No.81151166 Now That's What I Call Asking To Be Targeted
Menticide sounds actually very pleasant Anonymous 05/13/25(Tue)12:17:45 No.81151148 >tfw no poison ivy to kiss you, take that horrible burden of free will away, and turn you into her mindless drone. Why even live? Anonymous 05/13/25(Tue)12:21:55 No.81151166 Now That's What I Call Asking To Be Targeted

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Anon asks George Lucas a question | /r/Greentext

52KiB, 750x498, 1712496564437.jpg Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:06:21 No.209786757 Quoted By: >>209786827 >>209786843 >>209786849 >>209787311 >Have you ever r---- a man George? Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:07:20 No.209786777 I have half a mind to gib this post. Do not test me. 1671337647742386.jpg, 86KiB, 478x459 -- - Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:10:26 No.209786827 >>209786757 Did you watch them? 1715510214852.png, 304KiB, 680x384 Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:11:03 No.209786843 >>209786757 >Twice the girth >Double the pain Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:11:13 No.209786849 Quoted By: >>209787354 >>209786757 George hasn't even r---- a woman. KWAB. - Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:36:44 No.209787311 >>209786757 >The sound a man makes >when he's stabbed in the ass... >He actually makes very little noise >He just says "Ow! My ass!" View
52KiB, 750x498, 1712496564437.jpg Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:06:21 No.209786757 Quoted By: >>209786827 >>209786843 >>209786849 >>209787311 >Have you ever r---- a man George? Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:07:20 No.209786777 I have half a mind to gib this post. Do not test me. 1671337647742386.jpg, 86KiB, 478x459 -- - Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:10:26 No.209786827 >>209786757 Did you watch them? 1715510214852.png, 304KiB, 680x384 Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:11:03 No.209786843 >>209786757 >Twice the girth >Double the pain Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:11:13 No.209786849 Quoted By: >>209787354 >>209786757 George hasn't even r---- a woman. KWAB. - Anonymous Sun 30 Mar 2025 20:36:44 No.209787311 >>209786757 >The sound a man makes >when he's stabbed in the ass... >He actually makes very little noise >He just says "Ow! My ass!" View

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Silence of the Anons | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous 139 KB PNG Settings Mobile Home 05/13/25(Tue)13:23:00 No.81153950 >Anon, how come you don't talk much What the f--- kind of explanation do they expect? They have just established that I don't talk much. I have no idea why, I just don't.
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous 139 KB PNG Settings Mobile Home 05/13/25(Tue)13:23:00 No.81153950 >Anon, how come you don't talk much What the f--- kind of explanation do they expect? They have just established that I don't talk much. I have no idea why, I just don't.

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Anon Looks for a Job | /r/Greentext

Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Job Ads Settings Mobile Home 05/13/25(Tue)13:56:55 No.81154273 204 KB PNG >We're looking for a go-getter who thrives on making a tangible impact! No >Confident and professional! No >A Passion for customer service! Quite the opposite >Productive! No >Good attention to detail! The f--- is that for? >Strong organisational skills! Don't care >Happy to work as part of a team! Not really >Willingness to work! no Click "apply"
Board /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 Anonymous Job Ads Settings Mobile Home 05/13/25(Tue)13:56:55 No.81154273 204 KB PNG >We're looking for a go-getter who thrives on making a tangible impact! No >Confident and professional! No >A Passion for customer service! Quite the opposite >Productive! No >Good attention to detail! The f--- is that for? >Strong organisational skills! Don't care >Happy to work as part of a team! Not really >Willingness to work! no Click "apply"

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anon gets caught | /r/Greentext

1h (05/12/25 13:52) 934423088-47 Re - 0 Img JPG 21KB (500×360) 1746765371179988.jpg 3 Replies 5B How f----- am I? >be me >horny retard >meet with girl of legal age on a dating app >go to her place and pick her up >we find a local spot to hang out >bought her some alcohol >she takes some ativan >takes her top off revealing beautiful t--- >play with them and stuff >she's all over me >we have a definite age gap >f--------- her a few times >she loves it >fast forward a few hours, we nodded off in the spot and here comes a cop >m----------- >she's all f----- up, drunk high idfk >cop interrogates me, her, she's topless not really saying much to the dude. they call an ambulance >goddamnit >then here come troopers >godfuckingdamnit >they put her on a stretcher and she goes into the ambulance, talks to the paramedics and cops >cop grills me >troopers grill me >tell them my side of the story. met her on a dating app, fully consensual, yada yada. >they take her to the hospital >get my info, number, address, all that s--- >lets me go home Am I f-----? Like what the f--- psyops s--- just happened?
1h (05/12/25 13:52) 934423088-47 Re - 0 Img JPG 21KB (500×360) 1746765371179988.jpg 3 Replies 5B How f----- am I? >be me >horny retard >meet with girl of legal age on a dating app >go to her place and pick her up >we find a local spot to hang out >bought her some alcohol >she takes some ativan >takes her top off revealing beautiful t--- >play with them and stuff >she's all over me >we have a definite age gap >f--------- her a few times >she loves it >fast forward a few hours, we nodded off in the spot and here comes a cop >m----------- >she's all f----- up, drunk high idfk >cop interrogates me, her, she's topless not really saying much to the dude. they call an ambulance >goddamnit >then here come troopers >godfuckingdamnit >they put her on a stretcher and she goes into the ambulance, talks to the paramedics and cops >cop grills me >troopers grill me >tell them my side of the story. met her on a dating app, fully consensual, yada yada. >they take her to the hospital >get my info, number, address, all that s--- >lets me go home Am I f-----? Like what the f--- psyops s--- just happened?

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Anon IS NOT a sigma | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: EMU50+3Z) 05/13/25(Tue)17:48:28 No.22655197 man idk 56 KB JPG >be schizo autist >big ass stacy is attracted to me and DMs me >blow her off because I know I dont have the mental capacity to have a girlfriend, let alone a stacy Was this sigma/bant?
Anonymous (ID: EMU50+3Z) 05/13/25(Tue)17:48:28 No.22655197 man idk 56 KB JPG >be schizo autist >big ass stacy is attracted to me and DMs me >blow her off because I know I dont have the mental capacity to have a girlfriend, let alone a stacy Was this sigma/bant?

Greentext Stories
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