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Greentext Stories - Images (46,990 results)

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Anon is a slacker | /r/Greentext

File: 1422382193209.gif (1017 KB, 500x695) Anonymous 03/08/15(Sun)14:02:35 No. 15885059 [Reply] >be demon >>15888620 >minding my own business on the 3rd plane, doing infernal s--- >suddenly my pocket vibrates >you have 1 message: >"oh great Xuraxblurg, pls come to my house and give me wisdom or money or anything really" >how about no >continue about my eternal night >suddenly, an archdemon appears >"Xuraxblurg, you must go to that human's house and impart wisdom upon him, but do it in a spooky and cryptic way. He has scribbled the correct sigils on a roll of vellum with goat's blood so you know he's serious, off you go. It's the demon code." >"Man f------ why, I'm not even-" >"I SAID IT'S THE DEMON CODE." >whatever >show up at this f--'s house around midnight >"Xuraxblurg, you're here! Tell me, will I find the love of my life?!" >sure kid >make his furniture jiggle around a little bit >return to the screaming abyss >mfw
File: 1422382193209.gif (1017 KB, 500x695) Anonymous 03/08/15(Sun)14:02:35 No. 15885059 [Reply] >be demon >>15888620 >minding my own business on the 3rd plane, doing infernal s--- >suddenly my pocket vibrates >you have 1 message: >"oh great Xuraxblurg, pls come to my house and give me wisdom or money or anything really" >how about no >continue about my eternal night >suddenly, an archdemon appears >"Xuraxblurg, you must go to that human's house and impart wisdom upon him, but do it in a spooky and cryptic way. He has scribbled the correct sigils on a roll of vellum with goat's blood so you know he's serious, off you go. It's the demon code." >"Man f------ why, I'm not even-" >"I SAID IT'S THE DEMON CODE." >whatever >show up at this f--'s house around midnight >"Xuraxblurg, you're here! Tell me, will I find the love of my life?!" >sure kid >make his furniture jiggle around a little bit >return to the screaming abyss >mfw

Greentext Stories

Anon tries his luck on Valentines Day. | /r/Greentext

File: index.jpg (11 KB, 280x180) > Ask if she wants to get dinner > She says yes > I meet her at her house > Bring her a little thing of chocolate > She got me a cute little plant > Say hi to her parents Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)18:12:56 >>56785148 >>56786052 >>56786071 > Be me > Valentines day > Alone like usual > Sudden confidence > Text my friend (girl) > Ask her if she's doing anything > She says no > She did her makeup and is wearing a dress > Very pretty > We go get dinner > It was really fun > Made her laugh a lot > Put my arm around her while walking her home > We're going to go see a movie later tonight I-Is this it anons?
File: index.jpg (11 KB, 280x180) > Ask if she wants to get dinner > She says yes > I meet her at her house > Bring her a little thing of chocolate > She got me a cute little plant > Say hi to her parents Anonymous 02/17/20(Mon)18:12:56 >>56785148 >>56786052 >>56786071 > Be me > Valentines day > Alone like usual > Sudden confidence > Text my friend (girl) > Ask her if she's doing anything > She says no > She did her makeup and is wearing a dress > Very pretty > We go get dinner > It was really fun > Made her laugh a lot > Put my arm around her while walking her home > We're going to go see a movie later tonight I-Is this it anons?

Greentext Stories

Anon's take on Batman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/25(Mon)16:18:55 No.212713036 >Inherit immeasurable wealth >Could have pulled some strings to get parent's murderer arrested >Choose to wear bat costume to fight a clown There's more lead in Gotham's water than in Flint, MI 347 KB PNG Anonymous 07/14/25(Mon)16:23:25 No.212713171 >>212713036 (OP) # You act like there wasn't also an eccentric gay man who Igave you the answer in a riddle a 16 year old could solve, a guy with a supercharged AC unit and a woman who dresses like a cat and robs stores. Anonymous >>212713036 (OP) # He has a code. 07/14/25(Mon)16:24:08 No.212713196
Anonymous 07/14/25(Mon)16:18:55 No.212713036 >Inherit immeasurable wealth >Could have pulled some strings to get parent's murderer arrested >Choose to wear bat costume to fight a clown There's more lead in Gotham's water than in Flint, MI 347 KB PNG Anonymous 07/14/25(Mon)16:23:25 No.212713171 >>212713036 (OP) # You act like there wasn't also an eccentric gay man who Igave you the answer in a riddle a 16 year old could solve, a guy with a supercharged AC unit and a woman who dresses like a cat and robs stores. Anonymous >>212713036 (OP) # He has a code. 07/14/25(Mon)16:24:08 No.212713196

Greentext Stories

Anon likes books, but only certain ones | /r/Greentext

Anonymous So many good book ideas wasted 685 KB JPG 07/16/25(Wed)08:25:15 No.81849846 >be me >friend is talking about a book he's been reading >sounds super cool from how he describes it >awesome magic and fighting and great plot etc etc etc >look up the title later >its a f------ chapter book What the f--- is it with these authors, who come up with such great ideas but then dont have the willingness to make it a manga or even a graphic novel? F--- my life, I got excited over nothing Anonymous >>81849846 (OP) # >chapter book 07/16/25(Wed)08:29:34 No.81849885 Are you a kindergartener?
Anonymous So many good book ideas wasted 685 KB JPG 07/16/25(Wed)08:25:15 No.81849846 >be me >friend is talking about a book he's been reading >sounds super cool from how he describes it >awesome magic and fighting and great plot etc etc etc >look up the title later >its a f------ chapter book What the f--- is it with these authors, who come up with such great ideas but then dont have the willingness to make it a manga or even a graphic novel? F--- my life, I got excited over nothing Anonymous >>81849846 (OP) # >chapter book 07/16/25(Wed)08:29:34 No.81849885 Are you a kindergartener?

Greentext Stories

Anon gets Updoots | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 8Asipgqc) 74 KB JPG Settings Mobile Home 07/16/25(Wed)08:09:29 No.510530214 Edit: Thank you guys so so so much for 1 upvote! It means the world to me. Omg I'm literally freaking out right now. I just got home from school and this absolutely blew up! I didn't know you guys agreed with me so much. Thank you omg wow. I'll post the rest of the speech later Edit 2: Huge thanks to u/FillMyCountryWithNiggers for an upvote. People like this literally change my life. Love you so much, no h---. You're my hero. I'm freaking out OMGGGGGGG, someone else upvoted my post. You're an amazing person. Never forget that. Thanks so much! I'm literally freaking out how do I control this?!?! Thank you. So. Much. Edit 3: OMG!! FIVE UPVOTES?! Seriously guys, I can't thank you enough. This has literally been the best day of my entire life. I'll never forget this day. If we can get TEN upvotes, I will literally cry out loud. That would be so amazing. But I'm only dreaming. Actually, one of my dreams already came true. FIVE UPVOTES! God is real and he has granted me five whole upvotes. Thank you, amazing people, for helping me achieve my life long dream. I literally can't thank you enough. Edit 4: GUYS? WE HAVE A SEVENTH UPVOTER!!!! u/Castr8WyteM3n is the amazing person this time! They have changed my WHOLE life by pressing the upvote button and I'm sooooooo thankful for nice people like this. Keep doing what you're doing! Maybe you can change other people's lives too! I'm like, sooooooo happy right now guys! I CANT CONTROL MY HAPPINESS! Thank you so so so so so so so so so much. You're amazing. Edit 5: 15 UPVOTES?! FIFTEEN UPVOTES?! IM LITERALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW!!!! FIFTEEN UPVOTES! FIFTEEN UPVOTES?! Thank you guys so so so much. I love you all. I'm crying irl right now guys. Tears of joy, of course! joysoblaughing Special thanks to u/SubmissiveCuck for being the THIRTEENTH UPVOTER! It means a lot to me. You're just an absolutely amazing person. And to all other 14 upvoters, too, you're so amazing as well. THANK YOU ALL!!!1!
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 8Asipgqc) 74 KB JPG Settings Mobile Home 07/16/25(Wed)08:09:29 No.510530214 Edit: Thank you guys so so so much for 1 upvote! It means the world to me. Omg I'm literally freaking out right now. I just got home from school and this absolutely blew up! I didn't know you guys agreed with me so much. Thank you omg wow. I'll post the rest of the speech later Edit 2: Huge thanks to u/FillMyCountryWithNiggers for an upvote. People like this literally change my life. Love you so much, no h---. You're my hero. I'm freaking out OMGGGGGGG, someone else upvoted my post. You're an amazing person. Never forget that. Thanks so much! I'm literally freaking out how do I control this?!?! Thank you. So. Much. Edit 3: OMG!! FIVE UPVOTES?! Seriously guys, I can't thank you enough. This has literally been the best day of my entire life. I'll never forget this day. If we can get TEN upvotes, I will literally cry out loud. That would be so amazing. But I'm only dreaming. Actually, one of my dreams already came true. FIVE UPVOTES! God is real and he has granted me five whole upvotes. Thank you, amazing people, for helping me achieve my life long dream. I literally can't thank you enough. Edit 4: GUYS? WE HAVE A SEVENTH UPVOTER!!!! u/Castr8WyteM3n is the amazing person this time! They have changed my WHOLE life by pressing the upvote button and I'm sooooooo thankful for nice people like this. Keep doing what you're doing! Maybe you can change other people's lives too! I'm like, sooooooo happy right now guys! I CANT CONTROL MY HAPPINESS! Thank you so so so so so so so so so much. You're amazing. Edit 5: 15 UPVOTES?! FIFTEEN UPVOTES?! IM LITERALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW!!!! FIFTEEN UPVOTES! FIFTEEN UPVOTES?! Thank you guys so so so much. I love you all. I'm crying irl right now guys. Tears of joy, of course! joysoblaughing Special thanks to u/SubmissiveCuck for being the THIRTEENTH UPVOTER! It means a lot to me. You're just an absolutely amazing person. And to all other 14 upvoters, too, you're so amazing as well. THANK YOU ALL!!!1!

Greentext Stories

Anon works for Amazon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous It's Prime Day Two days of epic deals prime day 10/05/21 (Tue)08:35:08 No.864431168 7E7592EC-C9BA-44C9-B905-57280EE72761.jpg 145 KB JPG >be Amazon marketing employee >Board wants an inclusive advertisement >struggle to think of anything >Bezos will face f--- me if I miss a deadline again >f--- it >submit the worst photo possible >mfw they f------ approved it
Anonymous It's Prime Day Two days of epic deals prime day 10/05/21 (Tue)08:35:08 No.864431168 7E7592EC-C9BA-44C9-B905-57280EE72761.jpg 145 KB JPG >be Amazon marketing employee >Board wants an inclusive advertisement >struggle to think of anything >Bezos will face f--- me if I miss a deadline again >f--- it >submit the worst photo possible >mfw they f------ approved it

Greentext Stories

anon admires China | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: vRT4ysXS) 07/14/25(Mon)22:45:19 No. 60629271 267 KB JPG >Bans everything multicultural and jewish in their society >In less than 20 years, they go from africa tier to second strongest power What did China mean by this?
Anonymous (ID: vRT4ysXS) 07/14/25(Mon)22:45:19 No. 60629271 267 KB JPG >Bans everything multicultural and jewish in their society >In less than 20 years, they go from africa tier to second strongest power What did China mean by this?

Greentext Stories

Most corrupt Bobby | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: QMDku04t) POLICE 147 KB PNG Settings Mobile Home 07/16/25(Wed)06:30:40 No.510525904 >Be constable in the west midlands >Receive a report of cashier getting assaulted >Apparently it was recorded on the reporters phone >Call the reporter back the next day >Ask him to send the video via email >Receive file >StupidNiggerChimpsOutAtBoots.mp4 I'm going to have to rename that file.
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: QMDku04t) POLICE 147 KB PNG Settings Mobile Home 07/16/25(Wed)06:30:40 No.510525904 >Be constable in the west midlands >Receive a report of cashier getting assaulted >Apparently it was recorded on the reporters phone >Call the reporter back the next day >Ask him to send the video via email >Receive file >StupidNiggerChimpsOutAtBoots.mp4 I'm going to have to rename that file.

Greentext Stories

No seriously, why is this a thing? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 24 KB JPG 06/20/25(Fri)19:26:07 No.33252010 So let me get this straight: A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won't let him go, and everyone just laughs it off "happy wife, happy life," right? But if a girl says her husband/boyfriend won't let her go, suddenly it's "red flag," "toxic," or "is she safe?" Because Im expected to cancel every night out with my friends, skip every drink, and basically live like a caged bird, because she's insecure, constantly assuming I'll cheat the moment I'm out of her sight. When I just want to hang out with my pals and play Yu-Gi-Oh and drink beers after a LONG stressing shift at work. But the one time I ask her to stay in, just once, maybe to spend time together or because I'm uncomfortable with the crowd (divorced, bitter w-----) she's going out with lately. Suddenly I AM controlling, abusive, insecure, in the relationship. So let me ask you, when did "respecting boundaries" become a one way street for women?
: Anonymous 24 KB JPG 06/20/25(Fri)19:26:07 No.33252010 So let me get this straight: A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won't let him go, and everyone just laughs it off "happy wife, happy life," right? But if a girl says her husband/boyfriend won't let her go, suddenly it's "red flag," "toxic," or "is she safe?" Because Im expected to cancel every night out with my friends, skip every drink, and basically live like a caged bird, because she's insecure, constantly assuming I'll cheat the moment I'm out of her sight. When I just want to hang out with my pals and play Yu-Gi-Oh and drink beers after a LONG stressing shift at work. But the one time I ask her to stay in, just once, maybe to spend time together or because I'm uncomfortable with the crowd (divorced, bitter w-----) she's going out with lately. Suddenly I AM controlling, abusive, insecure, in the relationship. So let me ask you, when did "respecting boundaries" become a one way street for women?

Greentext Stories

Anon gives sage advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why does life have complicatio(...) 566 KB JPG 07/16/25(Wed)02:26:45 No.81848200 Why does life have to have complications? Some more severe than others. Why do some things in life have to change you for the worse? Like for me I've had >7 people around me that I knew pass in 7 years >have an ex that would constantly get me drunk so we could f---. Even waking me up at one point because she wanted me to. This isn't some "I get laid" thing this is a I feel like I was taken advantage of. If you don't understand I don't want to hear it. >A roommate that lied to all my (at the time friends) that caused me to lose them >A roommate that went to prison for cyber stalking and then threatened me for a year after NCIS busted through the front door and arrested him causing me a s--- ton of anxiety about what happens when he gets out. I don't know what to do if he comes after me Sure it might be an excuse but this led me to drink and take amphetamines to try to ignore it. Now I don't know what to do. It's not that easy process everything. Also that's only adulthood. I have some s--- from when I was a kid but that's not as heavy. Why does life have to hate me 1 Reply Anonymous >>81848200 (OP) # View Thread 07/16/25(Wed)03:26:30 No.81848577 life sucks for everyone, but in different ways. Chad may not be socially retarded like me but maybe his mother is dead, unlike me. everyone's dealing with some s---. they are just better at hiding it. in short, life sucks. get over it
: Anonymous Why does life have complicatio(...) 566 KB JPG 07/16/25(Wed)02:26:45 No.81848200 Why does life have to have complications? Some more severe than others. Why do some things in life have to change you for the worse? Like for me I've had >7 people around me that I knew pass in 7 years >have an ex that would constantly get me drunk so we could f---. Even waking me up at one point because she wanted me to. This isn't some "I get laid" thing this is a I feel like I was taken advantage of. If you don't understand I don't want to hear it. >A roommate that lied to all my (at the time friends) that caused me to lose them >A roommate that went to prison for cyber stalking and then threatened me for a year after NCIS busted through the front door and arrested him causing me a s--- ton of anxiety about what happens when he gets out. I don't know what to do if he comes after me Sure it might be an excuse but this led me to drink and take amphetamines to try to ignore it. Now I don't know what to do. It's not that easy process everything. Also that's only adulthood. I have some s--- from when I was a kid but that's not as heavy. Why does life have to hate me 1 Reply Anonymous >>81848200 (OP) # View Thread 07/16/25(Wed)03:26:30 No.81848577 life sucks for everyone, but in different ways. Chad may not be socially retarded like me but maybe his mother is dead, unlike me. everyone's dealing with some s---. they are just better at hiding it. in short, life sucks. get over it

Greentext Stories

Anon doesn't like greentexts | /r/Greentext

dont put food on my head Anonymous (ID: GUve0H/K) 07/16/25(Wed)00:47:09 No.510511179 ▼ >>510511314 >>510511365 >>510511369 >bro if it weren't for christianity I'd be a gay degenerate cannibal with zero morals >woo thank god for my man JC. >we really needed those jews to tell us how to behave. I love Israel. Anonymous (ID: ETdzjEfK) beanspepe.jpg SLAP YAS MAMA 07/16/25(Wed)00:50:55 No.510511369 (145 KB, 915x1280) google yandex iqdb wait >>510511179 (OP) didn't read f--- your pic Cape RED BEANS & RICE
dont put food on my head Anonymous (ID: GUve0H/K) 07/16/25(Wed)00:47:09 No.510511179 ▼ >>510511314 >>510511365 >>510511369 >bro if it weren't for christianity I'd be a gay degenerate cannibal with zero morals >woo thank god for my man JC. >we really needed those jews to tell us how to behave. I love Israel. Anonymous (ID: ETdzjEfK) beanspepe.jpg SLAP YAS MAMA 07/16/25(Wed)00:50:55 No.510511369 (145 KB, 915x1280) google yandex iqdb wait >>510511179 (OP) didn't read f--- your pic Cape RED BEANS & RICE

Greentext Stories

Norm on GTA 6 | /r/Greentext

WEEKEND UPDATE WEEKEND UPDATI >>607312595 (OP) # norm.jpg 328 KB JPG >Our top story tonight, Rockstar Games, developers of titles such as Grand Theft Auto V and Red Dead Redemption 2, are rumored to feature their first ever female protagonist in their next game, the hugely anticipated Grand Theft Auto VI. >Many fans of Rockstar Games have taken to the streets to voice their displeasure, calling it "virtue signaling", or an act of "political wokeness". >Rockstar Games have responded to these criticisms, explaining that making the protagonist female is purely for gameplay purposes. >Rockstar Games CEO Sam Houser was quoted as saying, "who better to run red lights and mow down people on the sidewalk than a female driver?"
WEEKEND UPDATE WEEKEND UPDATI >>607312595 (OP) # norm.jpg 328 KB JPG >Our top story tonight, Rockstar Games, developers of titles such as Grand Theft Auto V and Red Dead Redemption 2, are rumored to feature their first ever female protagonist in their next game, the hugely anticipated Grand Theft Auto VI. >Many fans of Rockstar Games have taken to the streets to voice their displeasure, calling it "virtue signaling", or an act of "political wokeness". >Rockstar Games have responded to these criticisms, explaining that making the protagonist female is purely for gameplay purposes. >Rockstar Games CEO Sam Houser was quoted as saying, "who better to run red lights and mow down people on the sidewalk than a female driver?"

Greentext Stories

Lol boomers | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)21:55:52 No.657585267 Counter Ternak 1673079110321272.png 2.21 MB PNG BOO 1540 >no skins >no progression >no balance changes >no new content >no events >no brand tie ins How didn't boomers get bored out of their mind playing this s---?
: Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)21:55:52 No.657585267 Counter Ternak 1673079110321272.png 2.21 MB PNG BOO 1540 >no skins >no progression >no balance changes >no new content >no events >no brand tie ins How didn't boomers get bored out of their mind playing this s---?

Greentext Stories

What the fuck am I paying you for? To get my clean fingers all dirty spelunking because the 20 fucki...

Anonymous 16/7/2025, 3:49:24 AM No.50608746 88 KB JPEG > order seafood stew or seafood pasta at restaurant > Shrimps are not peeled
Anonymous 16/7/2025, 3:49:24 AM No.50608746 88 KB JPEG > order seafood stew or seafood pasta at restaurant > Shrimps are not peeled

Greentext Stories

Russian history isn't renowned for having good leaders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 00mELoMe 30 KB JPG 07/15/25(Tue)13:38:58 No.510436534 >>510435216 # >get handed a gold-plated get out of jail free card by Trump himself >eat it because it reminds you of banan >proceed to go a------ and throw s--- around 4d chess btw
Anonymous (ID: 00mELoMe 30 KB JPG 07/15/25(Tue)13:38:58 No.510436534 >>510435216 # >get handed a gold-plated get out of jail free card by Trump himself >eat it because it reminds you of banan >proceed to go a------ and throw s--- around 4d chess btw

Greentext Stories

Anon thinks gay teenage girls ruin everything | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Class of 09 47 KB JPG 07/15/25(Tue)15:30:44 No.715567996 >make game meant to appeal to a specific audience >ends up appealing to a different audience >new audience completely misunderstands the point of the game >now you're EVIL for not accommodating the new audience >"I haven't played the game at all but I always knew he was a bad guy heughheughheugh" Saw a f------ video complaining about the game and it reminded me of how stupid this whole situation was. Why are gay teenage girls the final authority on everything?
Anonymous Class of 09 47 KB JPG 07/15/25(Tue)15:30:44 No.715567996 >make game meant to appeal to a specific audience >ends up appealing to a different audience >new audience completely misunderstands the point of the game >now you're EVIL for not accommodating the new audience >"I haven't played the game at all but I always knew he was a bad guy heughheughheugh" Saw a f------ video complaining about the game and it reminded me of how stupid this whole situation was. Why are gay teenage girls the final authority on everything?

Greentext Stories
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