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The keys to your heart | /r/Greentext

[6 / 1] 21 KiB, 220x220, pepe_at_the_mcdonalds_but_the_tendies_are_o ut.gif Anonymous Tue 25 Mar 2025 20:37:46 No.80751032 Quoted By: >>80751066 >>80751082 View >roastie moved in to the apartment the floor below mine >walk past her door and see the keys are still in >ring the bell to tell her >it's taking a while so shitpost a bit online >a few minutes later when im done shitposting i wonder if they even heard it and if i should ring again until i hear through the door "huh he's still here?" Alright you can find your own keys then you c---. Last time I try to be neighborly.
[6 / 1] 21 KiB, 220x220, pepe_at_the_mcdonalds_but_the_tendies_are_o ut.gif Anonymous Tue 25 Mar 2025 20:37:46 No.80751032 Quoted By: >>80751066 >>80751082 View >roastie moved in to the apartment the floor below mine >walk past her door and see the keys are still in >ring the bell to tell her >it's taking a while so shitpost a bit online >a few minutes later when im done shitposting i wonder if they even heard it and if i should ring again until i hear through the door "huh he's still here?" Alright you can find your own keys then you c---. Last time I try to be neighborly.

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I have no mouth and I must MEDIC! | /r/Greentext

e: f2p_engi.png (402 KB, 491x686) P ☐ Anonymous 03/25/25(Tue)18:09:22 No.706312489 ► >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] [Voice communication is not available for this account]
e: f2p_engi.png (402 KB, 491x686) P ☐ Anonymous 03/25/25(Tue)18:09:22 No.706312489 ► >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] >[Voice communication is not available for this account] [Voice communication is not available for this account]

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Anon wants to meet new people | /r/Greentext

canada_pepe.png (18 KB, 365x363) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 21U0oadM) 03/25/25(Tue)12:02:50 No.501435144 ▼ >be me >have dual us and canadian citizenship >want to find other anons like me >google "us canada discord server" >look at first link >"TOP SECRET US- CANADA WAR PLANNING >see people in voice chat >one guy looks familiar DISCORD SERVER" >click it >he's doing shots of a clear liquid and shouting at people >"TOMORROW WE TAKE WINNIPEG. THEN WE TAKE NEW BRUNSWICK. THEN WE TAKE THE YUKON" >oh my god >that's pete hegseth >"BY THE WAY GUYS IF ANY OF YOU IS A SPY YOU'RE GOING TO GITMO" >get scared and close chat how f----- am i, bros? they have my ip right?
canada_pepe.png (18 KB, 365x363) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous (ID: 21U0oadM) 03/25/25(Tue)12:02:50 No.501435144 ▼ >be me >have dual us and canadian citizenship >want to find other anons like me >google "us canada discord server" >look at first link >"TOP SECRET US- CANADA WAR PLANNING >see people in voice chat >one guy looks familiar DISCORD SERVER" >click it >he's doing shots of a clear liquid and shouting at people >"TOMORROW WE TAKE WINNIPEG. THEN WE TAKE NEW BRUNSWICK. THEN WE TAKE THE YUKON" >oh my god >that's pete hegseth >"BY THE WAY GUYS IF ANY OF YOU IS A SPY YOU'RE GOING TO GITMO" >get scared and close chat how f----- am i, bros? they have my ip right?

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Anon's Retail Hell | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 450 KB PNG 03/25/25(Tue)07:41:51 No.932920895 >>Be me, many years ago >>Working at target >>Stocking shelves one day >>Out of the corner of my eye see MASSIVE hambeast on mobility scooter approach my aisle >>Of course I'm in the snack aisle >>She trundles along and passes behind me >>As she is passing behind me, hear massive BRRRRAAAAPPPP >I could actually hear her fat vibrating against the faux leather seat >>She has no reaction, just keeps going to get something to feed her triabetes >>The smell hits me >>OH MY F------ GOD >>It smells like the most fetid raw sewage imaginable and death, worst thing I have EVER smelled >>With a superhuman effort I keep myself from gagging >>Jabba The Hutt grabs her f------ triple-stuffed Cholesterolls or whatever and leaves the aisle >>The whine of the motor on her overtaxed scooter fades but the ghostly foul invisible cloud remains, I feel like a soldier in WWI >>Luckily I was almost done, I hurriedly finish up and retreat to another section of the store for some sweet uncontaminated air >>Later when I am taking a shower at home I think about it and retch loudly
: Anonymous 450 KB PNG 03/25/25(Tue)07:41:51 No.932920895 >>Be me, many years ago >>Working at target >>Stocking shelves one day >>Out of the corner of my eye see MASSIVE hambeast on mobility scooter approach my aisle >>Of course I'm in the snack aisle >>She trundles along and passes behind me >>As she is passing behind me, hear massive BRRRRAAAAPPPP >I could actually hear her fat vibrating against the faux leather seat >>She has no reaction, just keeps going to get something to feed her triabetes >>The smell hits me >>OH MY F------ GOD >>It smells like the most fetid raw sewage imaginable and death, worst thing I have EVER smelled >>With a superhuman effort I keep myself from gagging >>Jabba The Hutt grabs her f------ triple-stuffed Cholesterolls or whatever and leaves the aisle >>The whine of the motor on her overtaxed scooter fades but the ghostly foul invisible cloud remains, I feel like a soldier in WWI >>Luckily I was almost done, I hurriedly finish up and retreat to another section of the store for some sweet uncontaminated air >>Later when I am taking a shower at home I think about it and retch loudly

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Cleanest Dining Table on 4Chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: wbcu6YPf) 03/25/25(Tue)10:25:08 No.501428173 3.14 MB PNG >EU regyoolayshuns at its finest. Anonymous (ID: 16qhh0Vm) | 03/25/25(Tue)10:35:16 No.501428825 brexit means brexit Anonymous (ID: OPzayvK8)! >>501428173 (OP) 03/25/25(Tue)10:44:06 No.501429391 I still wish I had that webm of the polish anon that made a mess of incredible proportions trying to remove this cap on a carbonated beverage.
Anonymous (ID: wbcu6YPf) 03/25/25(Tue)10:25:08 No.501428173 3.14 MB PNG >EU regyoolayshuns at its finest. Anonymous (ID: 16qhh0Vm) | 03/25/25(Tue)10:35:16 No.501428825 brexit means brexit Anonymous (ID: OPzayvK8)! >>501428173 (OP) 03/25/25(Tue)10:44:06 No.501429391 I still wish I had that webm of the polish anon that made a mess of incredible proportions trying to remove this cap on a carbonated beverage.

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Anon is lonely | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: JLhiK9MZ 438 KB PNG 03/25/25(Tue)09:41:34 No.22373799 >47 days no mommy gf that's holds me and plays with my hair and pets me and kisses me and calls me her good puppy >I miss her so much :(
Anonymous (ID: JLhiK9MZ 438 KB PNG 03/25/25(Tue)09:41:34 No.22373799 >47 days no mommy gf that's holds me and plays with my hair and pets me and kisses me and calls me her good puppy >I miss her so much :(

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Fooled again Anon. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Its always like this MICHAEL CRICHTON PARK 3:13/37:23 09/16/23(Sat) 14:53:56 No.651043021 Dino Crisis 2 Is Tragically Underrated sphereHunter.png 758 KB PNG >goin though retro period, playing dino crisis 2 >search youtube after gaming session >"wow a woman making an in-depth review of an autistic 23 y.o game? w-- i thought women like that just dont exist, i am in love" >google her >he is a man
Anonymous Its always like this MICHAEL CRICHTON PARK 3:13/37:23 09/16/23(Sat) 14:53:56 No.651043021 Dino Crisis 2 Is Tragically Underrated sphereHunter.png 758 KB PNG >goin though retro period, playing dino crisis 2 >search youtube after gaming session >"wow a woman making an in-depth review of an autistic 23 y.o game? w-- i thought women like that just dont exist, i am in love" >google her >he is a man

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Never ask the minions who they worked for in the 30s | /r/Greentext

[-] File (hide): 1740683588728p.png (187.84 KB, 917x871) Imgops File (hide): 1703704266180.png (44.25 KB, 852x994) Imgps 00 Gruson 5 minutes ago Ne10146131 [Quote] [Subscribe] [Voice Chat] >speak in a form of english that sounds like gibberish >dickride and follow around the most evil person possible >obsessed with bananas >obsessed with glasses and stubbles (their hair) >obsessed with raiding >have an evil variant that is portrayed by colder colors (purple) <speak in a form of english that sounds like gibberish <dickride and follow around the most evil person possible <obsessed with bananas <obsessed with glasses and stubbles <obsessed with raiding <have an evil variant that is portrayed by colder colors (blue)
[-] File (hide): 1740683588728p.png (187.84 KB, 917x871) Imgops File (hide): 1703704266180.png (44.25 KB, 852x994) Imgps 00 Gruson 5 minutes ago Ne10146131 [Quote] [Subscribe] [Voice Chat] >speak in a form of english that sounds like gibberish >dickride and follow around the most evil person possible >obsessed with bananas >obsessed with glasses and stubbles (their hair) >obsessed with raiding >have an evil variant that is portrayed by colder colors (purple) <speak in a form of english that sounds like gibberish <dickride and follow around the most evil person possible <obsessed with bananas <obsessed with glasses and stubbles <obsessed with raiding <have an evil variant that is portrayed by colder colors (blue)

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My innocence was a keepsake worn around my neck | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/25/25(Tue)11:38:17 No.80747218 >had sex two times because I was being a drunk retard >Immediate yeast infection both times I think god is trying to tell me something 66 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/25/25(Tue)11:38:17 No.80747218 >had sex two times because I was being a drunk retard >Immediate yeast infection both times I think god is trying to tell me something 66 KB JPG

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Anon is constipated | /r/Greentext

Anonymous #FIBERGANG 416 KB PNG >>Be me 03/25/25(Tue)00:14:38 No.932900817 >>Extremely constipated, haven't unloaded in a few days >>Frustrated and a little over five pounds heavier >>Idea.wav >>Eat a big jar of delicious black beans, must be five cans worth >>Absolutely stuffed, painfully so >>Now the waiting game begins
Anonymous #FIBERGANG 416 KB PNG >>Be me 03/25/25(Tue)00:14:38 No.932900817 >>Extremely constipated, haven't unloaded in a few days >>Frustrated and a little over five pounds heavier >>Idea.wav >>Eat a big jar of delicious black beans, must be five cans worth >>Absolutely stuffed, painfully so >>Now the waiting game begins

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Anon has a tooth collection | /r/Greentext

File: toof.jpg (196 KB, 1836x1080) etc) ☐ Anonymous 03/24/25(Mon)16:13:00 No.80741263 [Reply] >be me >community college coomer >in love with some cutie that doesn't notice me since high school >she wants to be a dentist but we are in the same math class >be one day >>80741612 >>80741883 >>80741917 >she had her wisdom tooth removed and brought it to class to show her friend >idea.jpg >wait until the tooth is left unattended to steal it for my collection (a bitten pencil that fell off her desk in 10th grade, a small lock of hair i managed to cut when she sat in front of me once, etc >if i cant have her then i can at least have small pieces of her >walk by her desk when she's not noticing and snatch it (pic related) >be the end of class and she's asking where it is, they are looking around in case it fell >she has no idea Imao >go home and suck it while masturbating to pretend we are tongue kissing >store it in my collection box >be basically done with it, it doesn't even have the small chunks of meat in it anymore >anotheridea.jpg >decide to look like a hero by pretending i found it and make first contact with her, maybe something beautiful blossoms from there The problem is that it's missing it's original meat chunks and it's been a couple of days so I have no idea how to pull this off. I was thinking on pretending I found it on the trash can or some corner of the classroom? Help me anons, you're my only hope
File: toof.jpg (196 KB, 1836x1080) etc) ☐ Anonymous 03/24/25(Mon)16:13:00 No.80741263 [Reply] >be me >community college coomer >in love with some cutie that doesn't notice me since high school >she wants to be a dentist but we are in the same math class >be one day >>80741612 >>80741883 >>80741917 >she had her wisdom tooth removed and brought it to class to show her friend >idea.jpg >wait until the tooth is left unattended to steal it for my collection (a bitten pencil that fell off her desk in 10th grade, a small lock of hair i managed to cut when she sat in front of me once, etc >if i cant have her then i can at least have small pieces of her >walk by her desk when she's not noticing and snatch it (pic related) >be the end of class and she's asking where it is, they are looking around in case it fell >she has no idea Imao >go home and suck it while masturbating to pretend we are tongue kissing >store it in my collection box >be basically done with it, it doesn't even have the small chunks of meat in it anymore >anotheridea.jpg >decide to look like a hero by pretending i found it and make first contact with her, maybe something beautiful blossoms from there The problem is that it's missing it's original meat chunks and it's been a couple of days so I have no idea how to pull this off. I was thinking on pretending I found it on the trash can or some corner of the classroom? Help me anons, you're my only hope

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Funeral arrangement | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 848 KB PNG anyways 03/24/25(Mon)22:20:11 No.80740760 >taking anthropology course in college >sat next to this girl who wore too much makeup >as the semester went on she started initiating conversation with me more and more >i wasnt having it, she wasnt my type >the final project of the semester was a report on some religion of our choice >one day she asked me out of the blue what i was doing my project on >i told her i was studying jainism >she said she was studying wicca (basically witches) >acted like i misheard her and thought she said "waco" >asked her if she knew what it was >she didnt >explained to her how the seige in waco was basically a legal massacre conducted by the fbi in an attempt to regain public favor >she never talked to me again >could finally study in peace
Anonymous 848 KB PNG anyways 03/24/25(Mon)22:20:11 No.80740760 >taking anthropology course in college >sat next to this girl who wore too much makeup >as the semester went on she started initiating conversation with me more and more >i wasnt having it, she wasnt my type >the final project of the semester was a report on some religion of our choice >one day she asked me out of the blue what i was doing my project on >i told her i was studying jainism >she said she was studying wicca (basically witches) >acted like i misheard her and thought she said "waco" >asked her if she knew what it was >she didnt >explained to her how the seige in waco was basically a legal massacre conducted by the fbi in an attempt to regain public favor >she never talked to me again >could finally study in peace

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Anon takes a stand against Pokémon scalpers by... shitting himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/25(Fri)19:27:15 No.57594994 >this morning >had to go to Target early to get some s--- >bunch of retards hanging around the card section like vultures >I go join them >not because I want to buy anything, but because I ate a lot of meat and onions last night and have some nasty ass farts backed up >cut one off mid crowd. The kind you think may have ruined the underwear >leave the area >see 3 of the people there step away from the section >the rest rough it out and slurp my fart juice into their nose holes for a slightly higher chance at getting some cards >get home >underwear actually is ruined Worth it though
Anonymous 03/21/25(Fri)19:27:15 No.57594994 >this morning >had to go to Target early to get some s--- >bunch of retards hanging around the card section like vultures >I go join them >not because I want to buy anything, but because I ate a lot of meat and onions last night and have some nasty ass farts backed up >cut one off mid crowd. The kind you think may have ruined the underwear >leave the area >see 3 of the people there step away from the section >the rest rough it out and slurp my fart juice into their nose holes for a slightly higher chance at getting some cards >get home >underwear actually is ruined Worth it though

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Easy peasy lemon squeezy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous bills 85 KB JPG 03/24/25(Mon)21:02:41 No.80739913 >be third grader >teacher won't let me go to the bathroom >constantly piss myself >don't like school >fake foot injury >diagnosed with AMPS >cost parents thousands in medical >get out of school for a year ez
: Anonymous bills 85 KB JPG 03/24/25(Mon)21:02:41 No.80739913 >be third grader >teacher won't let me go to the bathroom >constantly piss myself >don't like school >fake foot injury >diagnosed with AMPS >cost parents thousands in medical >get out of school for a year ez

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Anon experiments with cousin | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 123 KB PNG 03/23/25(Sun)23:46:36 No.80731063 >be me >firm believer in the "cousins were made to sexually experiment with each other" theory >work on my relationship with my cutie cousin and convince her to take each other's virginity >basically tell her that once it's done. we won't feel anxious about it in the future >she's so shy and such a semen demon that I end up cooming buckets >be happy about life >weeks later >she starts regretting it and having seconds thoughts about what we did >she wants to confess and tell her parents >tell her this is going to get us in trouble (especially me since we have a significant age difference which could potentially get me in legal troubles) >she doesn't listen >she says her guilt is so strong she's nauseous and puking most days >she doesn't feel like herself >sudden mood swings anons, this bitch is acting like she got possesed how tf can i force her to shut the f--- up, im actually losing my s--- over this
Anonymous 123 KB PNG 03/23/25(Sun)23:46:36 No.80731063 >be me >firm believer in the "cousins were made to sexually experiment with each other" theory >work on my relationship with my cutie cousin and convince her to take each other's virginity >basically tell her that once it's done. we won't feel anxious about it in the future >she's so shy and such a semen demon that I end up cooming buckets >be happy about life >weeks later >she starts regretting it and having seconds thoughts about what we did >she wants to confess and tell her parents >tell her this is going to get us in trouble (especially me since we have a significant age difference which could potentially get me in legal troubles) >she doesn't listen >she says her guilt is so strong she's nauseous and puking most days >she doesn't feel like herself >sudden mood swings anons, this bitch is acting like she got possesed how tf can i force her to shut the f--- up, im actually losing my s--- over this

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Nah, she'll be right mate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)15:37:25 No.649132216 Metro-Exodus.jpg 1.67 MB JPG >"Just be careful out there, anon. You know I worry about you." How do you respond?
Anonymous 08/31/23(Thu)15:37:25 No.649132216 Metro-Exodus.jpg 1.67 MB JPG >"Just be careful out there, anon. You know I worry about you." How do you respond?

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