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Greentext Stories - Images (46,122 results)

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A true in the flesh new copypasta straight from Reddit. | /r/Greentext

A true in the flesh new copypasta straight from Reddit. | /r/Greentext
A true in the flesh new copypasta straight from Reddit. | /r/Greentext

Greentext Stories

Opposites Attract | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: qFKjQYrq ) © 05/18/25(Sun)19:42:39 No.505045354 pov: you became a single mother at 21 drip manh.com 134K C 300 KB PNG What could this picture possibly mean? Anonymous (ID: 4xlzpMiW)! BLEACHED 05/18/25(Sun)20:10:07 No.505046991
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: qFKjQYrq ) © 05/18/25(Sun)19:42:39 No.505045354 pov: you became a single mother at 21 drip manh.com 134K C 300 KB PNG What could this picture possibly mean? Anonymous (ID: 4xlzpMiW)! BLEACHED 05/18/25(Sun)20:10:07 No.505046991

Greentext Stories

Time for your yearly exam anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 70w+wPyw) 05/19/25(Mon) 12:54:25 No.505094589 /pol/chuds like making fun of Biden or Scott Adams getting prostate cancer but do you retards actually go to your yearly prostate exam? >>505094589 (OP) # no, i just have your wife do it Try finger Appraisals 6969 Poor but hole : Close : Good il_fullxfull.4948116270_tbfx.jpg 75 KB JPG >King Charles gets prostate cancer >Sleepy Joe gets prostate cancer >Scott Adams gets prostate cancer I smell a mossad op
: Anonymous (ID: 70w+wPyw) 05/19/25(Mon) 12:54:25 No.505094589 /pol/chuds like making fun of Biden or Scott Adams getting prostate cancer but do you retards actually go to your yearly prostate exam? >>505094589 (OP) # no, i just have your wife do it Try finger Appraisals 6969 Poor but hole : Close : Good il_fullxfull.4948116270_tbfx.jpg 75 KB JPG >King Charles gets prostate cancer >Sleepy Joe gets prostate cancer >Scott Adams gets prostate cancer I smell a mossad op

Greentext Stories

What would you do in that situation ? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/18/25(Sun)07:49:41 No.210686146 ЭТА imagem_2025-05-17_204931186.png 231 KB PNG realistically, what would you do in this situation?
: Anonymous 05/18/25(Sun)07:49:41 No.210686146 ЭТА imagem_2025-05-17_204931186.png 231 KB PNG realistically, what would you do in this situation?

Greentext Stories

Safe edgy fantasy | /r/Greentext

<< Anonymous 05/18/25(Sun)17:16:33 No.95675727 >>95669439 >>95675899 >>95676243 >>95676500 >>95676581 >LORD DEATH MURDERKILL SWEEPS ACROSS THE LAND, RIPPING OUT THE ORGANS OF EVERY MAN ONE BY ONE TO EXTEND THEIR SUFFERING >but he won't attack women because historically, women have always faced misogyny and Lord Death Murderkill is evil, but he's not sexist >HIS ARMIES OF RAPEHOUND DESCEND UPON THE KINGDOMS, RAVAGING THE CITIES >but they avoid the red light districts and any minority neighborhoods, because Lord Death Muderkill believes sex work is real work and systemic racism is an ill upon society and should be fought against to end oppression >IF YOU EVER ENCOUNTER LORD DEATH MURDERKILL >he will ask your pronouns first >BEFORE HE INSTANTLY KILLS YOU WITH HIS BLADE OF TEN THOUSAND SHADOWS WHICH BANISHES YOUR SOUL TO A REALM WHERE YOU WILL EXPERIENCE INFINITE DEATHS FOR ETERNITY!!
<< Anonymous 05/18/25(Sun)17:16:33 No.95675727 >>95669439 >>95675899 >>95676243 >>95676500 >>95676581 >LORD DEATH MURDERKILL SWEEPS ACROSS THE LAND, RIPPING OUT THE ORGANS OF EVERY MAN ONE BY ONE TO EXTEND THEIR SUFFERING >but he won't attack women because historically, women have always faced misogyny and Lord Death Murderkill is evil, but he's not sexist >HIS ARMIES OF RAPEHOUND DESCEND UPON THE KINGDOMS, RAVAGING THE CITIES >but they avoid the red light districts and any minority neighborhoods, because Lord Death Muderkill believes sex work is real work and systemic racism is an ill upon society and should be fought against to end oppression >IF YOU EVER ENCOUNTER LORD DEATH MURDERKILL >he will ask your pronouns first >BEFORE HE INSTANTLY KILLS YOU WITH HIS BLADE OF TEN THOUSAND SHADOWS WHICH BANISHES YOUR SOUL TO A REALM WHERE YOU WILL EXPERIENCE INFINITE DEATHS FOR ETERNITY!!

Greentext Stories

How would we feel if Valve betrays us? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/18/25(Sun)12:05:28 No.710036327 I F------ HATE (YOU AND HOPE YOU DIE ACTIVISION. BIZZARD UBISOFT Nintendo EA SONY GAMES EPIC -95% ilike to provide good discounts and customer service for gamers in anyway we can Highfalutin+tectonic+wild_d64dc4_12136450.jpg Why is it like this? 85 KB JPG
Anonymous 05/18/25(Sun)12:05:28 No.710036327 I F------ HATE (YOU AND HOPE YOU DIE ACTIVISION. BIZZARD UBISOFT Nintendo EA SONY GAMES EPIC -95% ilike to provide good discounts and customer service for gamers in anyway we can Highfalutin+tectonic+wild_d64dc4_12136450.jpg Why is it like this? 85 KB JPG

Greentext Stories

Dystopia??? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Cyberpunk 05/19/25(Mon) 14:54:06 No.710147427 I thought this game was supposed to depict a dystopian future but it's literally just modern day america with cyber gadgets 80 KB JPG
Anonymous Cyberpunk 05/19/25(Mon) 14:54:06 No.710147427 I thought this game was supposed to depict a dystopian future but it's literally just modern day america with cyber gadgets 80 KB JPG

Greentext Stories

And it was all yellow... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 行風書 05/19/25(Mon)11:31:39 No.81217200 >be me >Asian >raised normally without issues nor trauma with loving parents and friend >grew up to unironically have a fetish for Asian caricatures 90 KB JPG >like ladies with slit eye, pale- wearing qipao yellowish-but-not-jaundice skin and >knew it's problematic but still gets hard when I see female Asian caricatures What the f--- is wrong with me? Anonymous 16 KB JPG 05/19/25(Mon) 11:39:53 No.81217246 >>81217200 (OP) # >What the f--- is wrong with me? I'm sorry, you have a terminal case of based
Anonymous 行風書 05/19/25(Mon)11:31:39 No.81217200 >be me >Asian >raised normally without issues nor trauma with loving parents and friend >grew up to unironically have a fetish for Asian caricatures 90 KB JPG >like ladies with slit eye, pale- wearing qipao yellowish-but-not-jaundice skin and >knew it's problematic but still gets hard when I see female Asian caricatures What the f--- is wrong with me? Anonymous 16 KB JPG 05/19/25(Mon) 11:39:53 No.81217246 >>81217200 (OP) # >What the f--- is wrong with me? I'm sorry, you have a terminal case of based

Greentext Stories

Anon is proud of himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: aS90WfoT 05/16/25(Fri)15:37:39 No.60367632 >my bowels run like clockwork >im actually quite proud of this >everyday exactly at 10am I poop >everyone at work knows 72 KB JPG this >bathroom always empty at this time >new weird toilet cleaner guy starts in building >changes cleaning schedule to 10am >just stands by the sinks whilst I s--- >awkward as f--- >feel the urge to apologize >"dont worry anon, compared to some of the guys in this building yours smell pretty good" Im absolutely freaked the f--- out by this, although I am pleased with the compliment.
Anonymous (ID: aS90WfoT 05/16/25(Fri)15:37:39 No.60367632 >my bowels run like clockwork >im actually quite proud of this >everyday exactly at 10am I poop >everyone at work knows 72 KB JPG this >bathroom always empty at this time >new weird toilet cleaner guy starts in building >changes cleaning schedule to 10am >just stands by the sinks whilst I s--- >awkward as f--- >feel the urge to apologize >"dont worry anon, compared to some of the guys in this building yours smell pretty good" Im absolutely freaked the f--- out by this, although I am pleased with the compliment.

Greentext Stories

Anon Likes Old School Doctor Who | /r/Greentext

File: yuck.jpg (130 KB, 904x682) YUCK ☐ /classicwho/ thread Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)20:36:30 No.210112181 ► >>210112206 >>210112308 >>210112828 >>210114860>>210115153 >>210116422 >>210118122 >>210118473 >>210118798 >>210119817 >>210122284 F--- RTD's cancer. Let's discuss some real kino. Give me your favourite arcs, Doctors, companions and Big Finish stories. ☐ Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)20:47:31 No.210112308 >>210112362 >>210112784 >>210112181 (OP). A Millennial who has watched all of Nu-Who since it came back to TV would be in the Colin Baker era of Boomer Who if they'd watched that from the first broadcast episode. ☐ Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)21:24:14 No.210112784 >>210114778 >>210115311 >>210112308 >20 years into Classic Who >steadily declining ratings >bad mix of nostalgiabait and lame new storylines >a young, passive, wimpy Doctor >>210112818>>210113198 >a big gay producer slowly realising that nobody likes what he's doing but that he's the only person around who wants to run the show >20 years into NuWho >steadily declining ratings >bad mix of nostalgiabait and lame new storylines >a young, passive, wimpy, gay Doctor >a big gay showrunner slowly realising that nobody likes what he's doing but that he's the only person around who wants to run the show It's like pottery ☐ Anonymous 04/14/25(Mon)00:05:44 No.210115262 >>210115291 >>210115300 >>210115348 >>210115823 >Classic >meant to be disposable trash >actively hated and sabotaged by the BBC >is mostly kino >NuWho >meant to be kino >actively supported and saved by the BBC >is mostly disposable trash ☐ Anonymous 04/14/25(Mon)00:07:01 No.210115291 ► File: third doctor avin a giraffe.jpg (66 KB, 1280x720) >>210115262 You couldn't make it up.
File: yuck.jpg (130 KB, 904x682) YUCK ☐ /classicwho/ thread Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)20:36:30 No.210112181 ► >>210112206 >>210112308 >>210112828 >>210114860>>210115153 >>210116422 >>210118122 >>210118473 >>210118798 >>210119817 >>210122284 F--- RTD's cancer. Let's discuss some real kino. Give me your favourite arcs, Doctors, companions and Big Finish stories. ☐ Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)20:47:31 No.210112308 >>210112362 >>210112784 >>210112181 (OP). A Millennial who has watched all of Nu-Who since it came back to TV would be in the Colin Baker era of Boomer Who if they'd watched that from the first broadcast episode. ☐ Anonymous 04/13/25(Sun)21:24:14 No.210112784 >>210114778 >>210115311 >>210112308 >20 years into Classic Who >steadily declining ratings >bad mix of nostalgiabait and lame new storylines >a young, passive, wimpy Doctor >>210112818>>210113198 >a big gay producer slowly realising that nobody likes what he's doing but that he's the only person around who wants to run the show >20 years into NuWho >steadily declining ratings >bad mix of nostalgiabait and lame new storylines >a young, passive, wimpy, gay Doctor >a big gay showrunner slowly realising that nobody likes what he's doing but that he's the only person around who wants to run the show It's like pottery ☐ Anonymous 04/14/25(Mon)00:05:44 No.210115262 >>210115291 >>210115300 >>210115348 >>210115823 >Classic >meant to be disposable trash >actively hated and sabotaged by the BBC >is mostly kino >NuWho >meant to be kino >actively supported and saved by the BBC >is mostly disposable trash ☐ Anonymous 04/14/25(Mon)00:07:01 No.210115291 ► File: third doctor avin a giraffe.jpg (66 KB, 1280x720) >>210115262 You couldn't make it up.

Greentext Stories

She was a child | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon) 13:25:58 No.210720749 images - 2025-05-02T035212.401.jpg 24 KB JPG >she had a childlike sense of humor you sick FREAK Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon) 13:30:11 No.210720798 >she was wearing a school girl uniform with pigtails and it turned you on >>210721054 # Anonymous 209 KB JPG 05/19/25(Mon)13:39:19 No.210720906 >>210720749 (OP) # >she was 27 but said she was a teenager you sick freak!
Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon) 13:25:58 No.210720749 images - 2025-05-02T035212.401.jpg 24 KB JPG >she had a childlike sense of humor you sick FREAK Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon) 13:30:11 No.210720798 >she was wearing a school girl uniform with pigtails and it turned you on >>210721054 # Anonymous 209 KB JPG 05/19/25(Mon)13:39:19 No.210720906 >>210720749 (OP) # >she was 27 but said she was a teenager you sick freak!

Greentext Stories

Hugh Hugh Hugh | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon)14:23:48 No.76154087 >Left: Gigachad physique in 2000 >>76154092 >>76154094 >>76154161 >Right: Minimum requirements physique to be a male actor in 2025 Has body inflation gone too far? Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon)14:25:18 No.76154092 ►>>76154102 >>76154087 (OP) but I don't want to be a male actor Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon) 14:26:57 No.76154094 ►>>76154171 >>76154087 (OP) nah, he is just showing off >look at me >i'm 70 years old >i'm hugh Jackman >JACKed Man >get it >hugh hugh hugh hugh
Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon)14:23:48 No.76154087 >Left: Gigachad physique in 2000 >>76154092 >>76154094 >>76154161 >Right: Minimum requirements physique to be a male actor in 2025 Has body inflation gone too far? Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon)14:25:18 No.76154092 ►>>76154102 >>76154087 (OP) but I don't want to be a male actor Anonymous 05/19/25(Mon) 14:26:57 No.76154094 ►>>76154171 >>76154087 (OP) nah, he is just showing off >look at me >i'm 70 years old >i'm hugh Jackman >JACKed Man >get it >hugh hugh hugh hugh

Greentext Stories

Anon complaining about the passage of time thread | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 73 KB JPG 05/19/25(Mon) 11:47:04 No.710116650 >The people who were toddlers when Minecraft, Terraria, Skyrim and Dark Souls came out are adults >Now we have a whole generation of people who think these games were revolutionary and not just above average because they played them for a thousand hours because it was the only game mommy could afford
Anonymous 73 KB JPG 05/19/25(Mon) 11:47:04 No.710116650 >The people who were toddlers when Minecraft, Terraria, Skyrim and Dark Souls came out are adults >Now we have a whole generation of people who think these games were revolutionary and not just above average because they played them for a thousand hours because it was the only game mommy could afford

Greentext Stories

Anon and his poopmate (an ancient post) | /r/Greentext

>> 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:17 No. 13457437 All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order for my fiancee. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way backto the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 0 through 4 (I write a lot of software) for your convenience: >> 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:28 No. 13457445 0.Occupied. 1. Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one. 2.Poo on seat. 3.Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat. 4. No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet. Clearly, it had to be Stall #1. I trudged back, entered, dropped trou and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful S------. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot. I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. S------ was blathering to Mrs. S------ about the s----- day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier. >> 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:39 No. 13457447 Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency. of the stall, and it shook gently. Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent:)1) The next-door conversation had ceased; (2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come; and (3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench. It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way underthe stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence. >> 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:53 No. 13457455 "Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??" Now there was no stopping me. I pushed for all I was worth. I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all I could do was hang on for the ride. Next door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my a--- symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up... in my mouth... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching. Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet. There was a lull in my production, and the restroom became deathly quiet. I could envision him standing there, wondering what to do. A final a--- announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. I heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown open. I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. >> 09/27/06(Wed)06:54:07 No. 13457460 After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth. As I left, I glanced into the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know. I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has managed to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in thebathroom.
>> 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:17 No. 13457437 All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over forty-eight hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of bowel-cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order for my fiancee. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way backto the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 0 through 4 (I write a lot of software) for your convenience: >> 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:28 No. 13457445 0.Occupied. 1. Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one. 2.Poo on seat. 3.Poo and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat. 4. No toilet paper, no stall door, unidentifiable sticky object near base of toilet. Clearly, it had to be Stall #1. I trudged back, entered, dropped trou and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful S------. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot. I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of Shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. S------ was blathering to Mrs. S------ about the s----- day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My bowels let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier. >> 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:39 No. 13457447 Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency. of the stall, and it shook gently. Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent:)1) The next-door conversation had ceased; (2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come; and (3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench. It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way underthe stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence. >> 09/27/06(Wed)06:53:53 No. 13457455 "Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??" Now there was no stopping me. I pushed for all I was worth. I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all I could do was hang on for the ride. Next door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my a--- symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up... in my mouth... not... make it... tell the kids... love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching. Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by string of swear words and gags. My poop-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet. There was a lull in my production, and the restroom became deathly quiet. I could envision him standing there, wondering what to do. A final a--- announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. I heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown open. I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. >> 09/27/06(Wed)06:54:07 No. 13457460 After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth. As I left, I glanced into the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know. I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and Shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has managed to transfer my Shamefulness to my anonymous poop-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to poop in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in the loo. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in thebathroom.

Greentext Stories

Jesus Christ it’s Tom Cruise | /r/Greentext

>>81355768 (OP) # img0465.jpg 248 KB JPG sometimes i masturbate in bushes in a public park. one day i notice a person behing me. it was tom cruise. all he said was "proceed". i felt uncomfortable and took a picture and left.
>>81355768 (OP) # img0465.jpg 248 KB JPG sometimes i masturbate in bushes in a public park. one day i notice a person behing me. it was tom cruise. all he said was "proceed". i felt uncomfortable and took a picture and left.

Greentext Stories

Driver license speedrun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why is the world coming to an end? 52 KB JPG Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous >>81209160 (OP) # >Save money >24 05/19/25(Mon)00:15:29 No.81209160 >cant drive >never had a gf >wfh so dont interact with anyone >live in a literal cuck shed realistically how would you get out of this scenario so to speak? 05/19/25(Mon)00:22:29 No.81209270 05/19/25(Mon)01:48:14 No.81210187 05/19/25(Mon)01:52:42 No.81210231 >Study for learners permit >Do the online drug test for the learners permit >Go to the DMV, and schedule an appointment for the learners permit written test (multiple choice) >Get learners permit >Buy an old car for like 3k >Ask someone you know who has a drivers license to ride around with you 2 or 3 times a week so you can practice driving >After a few months go to the DMV and schedule a drivers license test >Get drivers license This is how everything works. Do things in steps.
: Anonymous Why is the world coming to an end? 52 KB JPG Anonymous : Anonymous : Anonymous >>81209160 (OP) # >Save money >24 05/19/25(Mon)00:15:29 No.81209160 >cant drive >never had a gf >wfh so dont interact with anyone >live in a literal cuck shed realistically how would you get out of this scenario so to speak? 05/19/25(Mon)00:22:29 No.81209270 05/19/25(Mon)01:48:14 No.81210187 05/19/25(Mon)01:52:42 No.81210231 >Study for learners permit >Do the online drug test for the learners permit >Go to the DMV, and schedule an appointment for the learners permit written test (multiple choice) >Get learners permit >Buy an old car for like 3k >Ask someone you know who has a drivers license to ride around with you 2 or 3 times a week so you can practice driving >After a few months go to the DMV and schedule a drivers license test >Get drivers license This is how everything works. Do things in steps.

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