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Anon visits Amsterdam | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 68 KB JPG 04/13/15(Mon)23:31:25 No.609857223 I'd like to tell a story >be me last summer >not too beta but spend all time inside on computer (also virginfag) >vidya, animu, p---, etc. >parents cool with lifestyle but dad always tries to get me out of my shell >offers to pay for a flight to Europe >i'm not too interested (murica f--- yeah) but figure its a free trip >fly into Munich >reenact german invasion (train to Poland, Denmark, Norway, France and Belgium) >pretty uneventful, just go to lame tourist traps and sometimes local bars >want to lose virginity >decide to go to Amsterdam my last two days Anonymous 579 KB JPG 04/13/15(Mon)23:34:04 No.609857553 >>609857440 >stay in hostel, first day just walk around, notice some clubs and brothels >figure I'll go to club and try to talk up a girl, and if that fails I'll atleast hit up a brothel >night cometh, go to closest club >can hear music from outside, no line just a bouncer outside >this guy is f------ ripped, has 3 inches on me atleast (im 6'2) >long hair >long beard >beard braided to a point >nordic blood flowing strong >a f------ viking blocking my entrance to the club >get up to door expecting to be turned away >what a twist, lets me in no problem >>609857883 # Anonymous 04/13/15(Mon)23:36:07 No.609857850 873 KB JPG >>609857515 >typical club, lots of bros and rave chicks >get a drink and look around at the girls >see one fine ass girl, long blonde hair with flower hairband, pierced nose >dancing by herself, figure she came alone or her friends are away >go up to her and start dancing >we dance a little, I ask her where shes from >"sweden" >ask her name >"Sky" >doubt its her real name, f------ hippies but shes so hot >we dance and I buy her a few drinks >asks me if I want to do molly >never done anything but pot, but hey this may go somewhere >>609857980 # >>609858074 # 205 KB JPG >get hard >>609857883 That would be hard >we keep dancing, she starts grinding on me more and more >please dont get hard please dont get hard >after about 20 seconds of grinding on my hard d--- she turns around >big smile on her face, puts hand on the front of my pants >I put my arms around her and we kind of sway to the music while she strokes >she stops >"follow me" >she leads me away from the pit and bar to the mens bathroom >ohgodthisisit >a guy is coming out as we go in, just smiles at us >some stalls are closed and a guy is washing his hands but doesnt see us go to the last stall >she unzips my pants >drops to her knees, starts going as if my d--- is rotting fish or whatever the f--- they eat >I c-- in less than a minute >s--- happens >she kind of giggles and swallows >unzips and takes off her pants Anonymous 04/13/15(Mon)23:39:55 No.609858305 73 KB JPG >>609858074 Aye Aye captain >bends over the toilet >I've gone soft, start to eat her out >shes loving it, though I have no idea what I'm doing >a few minutes into it she turns around >Rim my ass >pokerface.jpeg >never thought I'd do something so nasty but I'm pretty buzzed and horny >start to rim her ass, shes moaning loudly >all of the sudden hear a knock at the urinal >"open the door" >oh s--- >get up from the floor >open the door >>609858392 # >>609858560 # >>609858579 # Anonymous 04/13/15(Mon)23:41:36 No.609858487 >>609858330 >I'ts the f------ nordic bouncer >"what do you think you're doing in here?" 280 KB JPG >I stumble over words, "I uhh we were just uhh >he pushes past me, I see girl is still bent over >he gets on the floor >what the f--- >bouncer starts eating her ass >shes moaning even louder than before >I'm f------ frozen in awe >finally get courage and speak up >"what the f--- are you doing?" >bouncer turns to me and says >"Skys rim belongs to the nords" Reinvented by Fracati for iFunny :) ifunny.co
Anonymous 68 KB JPG 04/13/15(Mon)23:31:25 No.609857223 I'd like to tell a story >be me last summer >not too beta but spend all time inside on computer (also virginfag) >vidya, animu, p---, etc. >parents cool with lifestyle but dad always tries to get me out of my shell >offers to pay for a flight to Europe >i'm not too interested (murica f--- yeah) but figure its a free trip >fly into Munich >reenact german invasion (train to Poland, Denmark, Norway, France and Belgium) >pretty uneventful, just go to lame tourist traps and sometimes local bars >want to lose virginity >decide to go to Amsterdam my last two days Anonymous 579 KB JPG 04/13/15(Mon)23:34:04 No.609857553 >>609857440 >stay in hostel, first day just walk around, notice some clubs and brothels >figure I'll go to club and try to talk up a girl, and if that fails I'll atleast hit up a brothel >night cometh, go to closest club >can hear music from outside, no line just a bouncer outside >this guy is f------ ripped, has 3 inches on me atleast (im 6'2) >long hair >long beard >beard braided to a point >nordic blood flowing strong >a f------ viking blocking my entrance to the club >get up to door expecting to be turned away >what a twist, lets me in no problem >>609857883 # Anonymous 04/13/15(Mon)23:36:07 No.609857850 873 KB JPG >>609857515 >typical club, lots of bros and rave chicks >get a drink and look around at the girls >see one fine ass girl, long blonde hair with flower hairband, pierced nose >dancing by herself, figure she came alone or her friends are away >go up to her and start dancing >we dance a little, I ask her where shes from >"sweden" >ask her name >"Sky" >doubt its her real name, f------ hippies but shes so hot >we dance and I buy her a few drinks >asks me if I want to do molly >never done anything but pot, but hey this may go somewhere >>609857980 # >>609858074 # 205 KB JPG >get hard >>609857883 That would be hard >we keep dancing, she starts grinding on me more and more >please dont get hard please dont get hard >after about 20 seconds of grinding on my hard d--- she turns around >big smile on her face, puts hand on the front of my pants >I put my arms around her and we kind of sway to the music while she strokes >she stops >"follow me" >she leads me away from the pit and bar to the mens bathroom >ohgodthisisit >a guy is coming out as we go in, just smiles at us >some stalls are closed and a guy is washing his hands but doesnt see us go to the last stall >she unzips my pants >drops to her knees, starts going as if my d--- is rotting fish or whatever the f--- they eat >I c-- in less than a minute >s--- happens >she kind of giggles and swallows >unzips and takes off her pants Anonymous 04/13/15(Mon)23:39:55 No.609858305 73 KB JPG >>609858074 Aye Aye captain >bends over the toilet >I've gone soft, start to eat her out >shes loving it, though I have no idea what I'm doing >a few minutes into it she turns around >Rim my ass >pokerface.jpeg >never thought I'd do something so nasty but I'm pretty buzzed and horny >start to rim her ass, shes moaning loudly >all of the sudden hear a knock at the urinal >"open the door" >oh s--- >get up from the floor >open the door >>609858392 # >>609858560 # >>609858579 # Anonymous 04/13/15(Mon)23:41:36 No.609858487 >>609858330 >I'ts the f------ nordic bouncer >"what do you think you're doing in here?" 280 KB JPG >I stumble over words, "I uhh we were just uhh >he pushes past me, I see girl is still bent over >he gets on the floor >what the f--- >bouncer starts eating her ass >shes moaning even louder than before >I'm f------ frozen in awe >finally get courage and speak up >"what the f--- are you doing?" >bouncer turns to me and says >"Skys rim belongs to the nords" Reinvented by Fracati for iFunny :) ifunny.co

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anon predicts the future | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 21 KB JPG 05/07/21(Fri)21:38:10 No.63572031 >massive 4chan data leak happens >IPs for every post are leaked >they can now all be traced back to you What do in this situation? 13 Replies/2 Images Anonymous View Thread 05/07/21(Fri)21:46:14 No.63572130 >yeah i made all those racist, sexist, antisemetic, gay shitposts. What are you going to do about it? Cry? 229 KB PNG >>63572211 # Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:47:01 No.63572143 Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:50:54 No.63572193 Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:52:37 No.63572211 >>63572130 # >No, you're just going to lose your job. >Also, you can't be within 300 meters of a school. >>63572234 # Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:54:23 No.63572234 >>63572211 # >Lose my what? >Why would i want to go to a school?
Anonymous 21 KB JPG 05/07/21(Fri)21:38:10 No.63572031 >massive 4chan data leak happens >IPs for every post are leaked >they can now all be traced back to you What do in this situation? 13 Replies/2 Images Anonymous View Thread 05/07/21(Fri)21:46:14 No.63572130 >yeah i made all those racist, sexist, antisemetic, gay shitposts. What are you going to do about it? Cry? 229 KB PNG >>63572211 # Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:47:01 No.63572143 Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:50:54 No.63572193 Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:52:37 No.63572211 >>63572130 # >No, you're just going to lose your job. >Also, you can't be within 300 meters of a school. >>63572234 # Anonymous 05/07/21(Fri)21:54:23 No.63572234 >>63572211 # >Lose my what? >Why would i want to go to a school?

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Mission Oceangate | /r/Greentext

agent 47.jpg 11 KB JPG > Welcome to the North Pacific 47. Your target eccentric Billionaire CEO Stockton Rush can be found on deck preparing to board his deep sea submersible with his billionaire clientele. You should expect heightened security, surely nothing you can't handle. > THAT is Stockton Rush CEO of OceanGate Expeditions a Providence shell organization stay sharp 47 > Draining the batteries on the the controller 47. That should certainly makes for a dangerous voyage > That curry you prepared for the passengers should make for an explosive finish. > Starlink communication have been disabled 47. Alas, I dare say this should make for a one way trip > Target down 47. Exfiltrate and the money will be wired into your account.
agent 47.jpg 11 KB JPG > Welcome to the North Pacific 47. Your target eccentric Billionaire CEO Stockton Rush can be found on deck preparing to board his deep sea submersible with his billionaire clientele. You should expect heightened security, surely nothing you can't handle. > THAT is Stockton Rush CEO of OceanGate Expeditions a Providence shell organization stay sharp 47 > Draining the batteries on the the controller 47. That should certainly makes for a dangerous voyage > That curry you prepared for the passengers should make for an explosive finish. > Starlink communication have been disabled 47. Alas, I dare say this should make for a one way trip > Target down 47. Exfiltrate and the money will be wired into your account.

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Anon finds a loophole | /r/Greentext

28 KB JPG >be me and my room mate. >both incels >it's okay sometimes but it's kinda sad because I wanted to know what it feels like to be with girl >one night me and room mate discussing girls and our failures >he gets frustrated and pushes me over and starts ripping off my clothes >"wh-what are you doing room mate?" >he doesn't answer and just flips me over like a pancake (he's always been stronger than me) >he inserts himself into me and it hurts >I don't know what's going on but it starts to feel good >we both c-- at the same time like his c-- went through me like a beautiful fountain that came out of my penis >we sit awkwardly for a bit >"why did you do that?" >"bro it's okay. Gender is fluid these days. Just before c------ I identified as a girl. So we just lost our virginity without being gay! >I start to cry because he's right >I've now lost my virginity to a girl. there's hope for us fellas. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?
28 KB JPG >be me and my room mate. >both incels >it's okay sometimes but it's kinda sad because I wanted to know what it feels like to be with girl >one night me and room mate discussing girls and our failures >he gets frustrated and pushes me over and starts ripping off my clothes >"wh-what are you doing room mate?" >he doesn't answer and just flips me over like a pancake (he's always been stronger than me) >he inserts himself into me and it hurts >I don't know what's going on but it starts to feel good >we both c-- at the same time like his c-- went through me like a beautiful fountain that came out of my penis >we sit awkwardly for a bit >"why did you do that?" >"bro it's okay. Gender is fluid these days. Just before c------ I identified as a girl. So we just lost our virginity without being gay! >I start to cry because he's right >I've now lost my virginity to a girl. there's hope for us fellas. Why hasn't anyone thought of this before?

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Anon gets bamboozled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/21/18(Wed)19:48:00 No.10877907 >reading Plato on the subway >Parmenides, struggling to understand >black guy next to me glances over >"Are you an intellectual?" >"Not really." >"That's why you read Plato" >he smiles and leaves a few stations later >come home and try thinking of comebacks in the shower what the f---
Anonymous 03/21/18(Wed)19:48:00 No.10877907 >reading Plato on the subway >Parmenides, struggling to understand >black guy next to me glances over >"Are you an intellectual?" >"Not really." >"That's why you read Plato" >he smiles and leaves a few stations later >come home and try thinking of comebacks in the shower what the f---

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Anon saw Episode 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/26/25(Wed)11:12:27 No.209659873 Screenshot_25-3-2025_231037_ww1.goojara.to.jpg 303 KB JPG >Hasnt seen Padme in 10 years >immediately simps in the most cringe manner does this n---- have any self control? : Anonymous 03/26/25(Wed)11:12:59 No.209659882 >>209659873 (OP) # No. That's what all of those movies are about actually.
: Anonymous 03/26/25(Wed)11:12:27 No.209659873 Screenshot_25-3-2025_231037_ww1.goojara.to.jpg 303 KB JPG >Hasnt seen Padme in 10 years >immediately simps in the most cringe manner does this n---- have any self control? : Anonymous 03/26/25(Wed)11:12:59 No.209659882 >>209659873 (OP) # No. That's what all of those movies are about actually.

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Degenerate Autist forced to be around Degenerate Autists | /r/Greentext

Open (Hide) Napalm now Are most inflation people just f------ retarded? Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 16:02:25 Id: ade59c No. 61916 >>61923 >>61930 >>61935 >>61953 >>61992 >>62052 >>62068 >>62109 >>62826 Genuinely, I've never come across any other crowd so obtuse and cripplingly autistic until I find myself in an inflation-based Discord server. People are typing like they're f------ 12. Everyone has the same basic ass sense of humor and music/film tastes. I don't wanna see another glowing red eyes Shrek in 2025 or read about how they wanna inflate some obscure Transformers character. They make my 13 year old self seem like an absolute charisma magnet. Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 17:55:13 Id: 055cec No. 61923 >>61931 >>61916 >People are typing like they're f------ 12 >Everyone has the same basic ass sense of humor and music/film tastes. >They make my 13 year old self seem like an absolute charisma magnet. You just described any Twitter ""oomfie"". How coincidental they're all weird sex freaks, huh? 0 Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 20:49:05 Id: 3b73bd No. 61930 >>61916 Hard to say, the adult characters I get as Kisame are from H-Anime or Anime. I forgot Transformers, Shrek and even Pokemon exist. I play GTA San Andreas now. I just do breast expansion, monster, and pregnancy, and that's it.
Open (Hide) Napalm now Are most inflation people just f------ retarded? Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 16:02:25 Id: ade59c No. 61916 >>61923 >>61930 >>61935 >>61953 >>61992 >>62052 >>62068 >>62109 >>62826 Genuinely, I've never come across any other crowd so obtuse and cripplingly autistic until I find myself in an inflation-based Discord server. People are typing like they're f------ 12. Everyone has the same basic ass sense of humor and music/film tastes. I don't wanna see another glowing red eyes Shrek in 2025 or read about how they wanna inflate some obscure Transformers character. They make my 13 year old self seem like an absolute charisma magnet. Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 17:55:13 Id: 055cec No. 61923 >>61931 >>61916 >People are typing like they're f------ 12 >Everyone has the same basic ass sense of humor and music/film tastes. >They make my 13 year old self seem like an absolute charisma magnet. You just described any Twitter ""oomfie"". How coincidental they're all weird sex freaks, huh? 0 Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 20:49:05 Id: 3b73bd No. 61930 >>61916 Hard to say, the adult characters I get as Kisame are from H-Anime or Anime. I forgot Transformers, Shrek and even Pokemon exist. I play GTA San Andreas now. I just do breast expansion, monster, and pregnancy, and that's it.

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

I AINT EVEN MAD MON. got a green text here: >be me >classes done for the day >nothing else to do >turn on netflix >high as s--- >try to put on "The Expendables" >toofuckingcomplicated.png >try to restart it like 10 times since it was recently watched >keeps exiting >finally figure it out and start movie >watch movie for around 30 mins not knowing whats happening >mfw i was watching "From Paris With Love" for 30 minutes thinking it was "The Expendables"
I AINT EVEN MAD MON. got a green text here: >be me >classes done for the day >nothing else to do >turn on netflix >high as s--- >try to put on "The Expendables" >toofuckingcomplicated.png >try to restart it like 10 times since it was recently watched >keeps exiting >finally figure it out and start movie >watch movie for around 30 mins not knowing whats happening >mfw i was watching "From Paris With Love" for 30 minutes thinking it was "The Expendables"

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This one lives rent free in my head | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/05/15(Sat)23:25:38 No.28103985>>28104247 >>28104335 >>28105658 >>28105734 >>28106936 >>28110951 >live next to river >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean >likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one moming and look off our back deck >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staff >4 geese are hissing menacingly >KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! >Korean guy charges >geese charge →KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! > asian fighting noises >today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow >one goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today >he smashes its head > he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot >I start clapping >he turns as red as it is possible for an asian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house >funniest s--- I've ever seen. >he turms as red as it is possible for an asian to blush 404 the east will show no mercy today Lámalian 2011
Anonymous 12/05/15(Sat)23:25:38 No.28103985>>28104247 >>28104335 >>28105658 >>28105734 >>28106936 >>28110951 >live next to river >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean >likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one moming and look off our back deck >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staff >4 geese are hissing menacingly >KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! >Korean guy charges >geese charge →KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! > asian fighting noises >today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow >one goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today >he smashes its head > he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot >I start clapping >he turns as red as it is possible for an asian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house >funniest s--- I've ever seen. >he turms as red as it is possible for an asian to blush 404 the east will show no mercy today Lámalian 2011

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The Future of Entertainment | /r/Greentext

File: 483912570_167296420334634(...).jpg (310 KB, 1414x2000) WHAT'S BROKEN CAN STILL BREAK YOU ID SERIES 'BLACK WHRROR SEASON 7 NETFLIX APRIL 10 Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:04:04 No.210032468 ) >>210032484 >>210032704 >>210032771 >>210032824 >>210032848 >>210032917 >>210033244 >greetings, anon. I am Space Dildo Mommy Cristin and I am equipped with a cybercock so I can breed your bussy while you catch up with all 6 episodes of Black Mirror Season 7 via your pathetic little torrent client and make sure to watch my episode first, you little s---. Now bend over. >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:09:49 No.210032554 File: mpv-shot0001.jpg (242 KB, 2369x1080) >>210033237 >>210034577 Stealing my p---- is a red f------ line. >>210032518 ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:12:21 No.210032602 >WOT IF UR DOG WAS A SAMSUNG ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:20:33 No.210032723 >>210032795 >>210032865 >>210032899 >>210033671 >>210033823 File: file.png (289 KB, 659x220) Just a reminder. ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:29:01 No.210032848 >>210032468 (OP) >WOT IF YA MUM WAS AN ELECTRIC KETTLE? MENTAL INNIT? ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:34:41 No.210032917 >>210033136 >>210033823 >>210032468 (OP). Not even gonna bother watching this p------------ show again ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)18:15:41 No.210033422 >oi m8 >wot if netflix slop... >but in da fucha?!!!!!! >f-----' mental innit?! ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)20:29:10 No.210035000 >wot if technology le evil: the show made by technology worshipping redditors
File: 483912570_167296420334634(...).jpg (310 KB, 1414x2000) WHAT'S BROKEN CAN STILL BREAK YOU ID SERIES 'BLACK WHRROR SEASON 7 NETFLIX APRIL 10 Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:04:04 No.210032468 ) >>210032484 >>210032704 >>210032771 >>210032824 >>210032848 >>210032917 >>210033244 >greetings, anon. I am Space Dildo Mommy Cristin and I am equipped with a cybercock so I can breed your bussy while you catch up with all 6 episodes of Black Mirror Season 7 via your pathetic little torrent client and make sure to watch my episode first, you little s---. Now bend over. >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:09:49 No.210032554 File: mpv-shot0001.jpg (242 KB, 2369x1080) >>210033237 >>210034577 Stealing my p---- is a red f------ line. >>210032518 ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:12:21 No.210032602 >WOT IF UR DOG WAS A SAMSUNG ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:20:33 No.210032723 >>210032795 >>210032865 >>210032899 >>210033671 >>210033823 File: file.png (289 KB, 659x220) Just a reminder. ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:29:01 No.210032848 >>210032468 (OP) >WOT IF YA MUM WAS AN ELECTRIC KETTLE? MENTAL INNIT? ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:34:41 No.210032917 >>210033136 >>210033823 >>210032468 (OP). Not even gonna bother watching this p------------ show again ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)18:15:41 No.210033422 >oi m8 >wot if netflix slop... >but in da fucha?!!!!!! >f-----' mental innit?! ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)20:29:10 No.210035000 >wot if technology le evil: the show made by technology worshipping redditors

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Anon wins with teamwork | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 94 KB JPG 04/01/21(Thu)16:58:15 No.851065730 >Senior year >Perfect plan >Me and my friend >We start fighting in the men showers >Nobody stoping us >Kick, punch and push each other all the way to the womens showers >Burst inside >Keep fighting pretending we didn't even realize >Naked girls come rushing and grab us to stop The only reason we got in trouble was for fighting, nobody cared we got a good look at all the girls. 7 Replies/3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 94 KB JPG 04/01/21(Thu)16:58:15 No.851065730 >Senior year >Perfect plan >Me and my friend >We start fighting in the men showers >Nobody stoping us >Kick, punch and push each other all the way to the womens showers >Burst inside >Keep fighting pretending we didn't even realize >Naked girls come rushing and grab us to stop The only reason we got in trouble was for fighting, nobody cared we got a good look at all the girls. 7 Replies/3 Images View Thread

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Anon is mentally ill | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:17:13 No.855244018 27 KB JPG drawn on it >be me >be schizophrenic >mostly under control >on meds, learned live with hallucinations >have an imaginary friend to help cope >name is Bill, is a plastic fork with a face >talking to Bill helps keep me grounded >be last week >see three women with a string >know the string is my life >f--- they're gonna cut my life >don't wanna die, know it's not real but still scared >f--- did I take my meds? >they go to cut the string, I yell no >they cut it, I feel my life slipping >they keep cutting, the pieces they cut off turn into little pizzas >like those bagel bites >w--.jpeg >Bill will help calm me down >turn to Bill, f---, it's not Bill >just a fork with a face, can't calm me down >cut my life into pizzas >this is my plastic fork
Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:17:13 No.855244018 27 KB JPG drawn on it >be me >be schizophrenic >mostly under control >on meds, learned live with hallucinations >have an imaginary friend to help cope >name is Bill, is a plastic fork with a face >talking to Bill helps keep me grounded >be last week >see three women with a string >know the string is my life >f--- they're gonna cut my life >don't wanna die, know it's not real but still scared >f--- did I take my meds? >they go to cut the string, I yell no >they cut it, I feel my life slipping >they keep cutting, the pieces they cut off turn into little pizzas >like those bagel bites >w--.jpeg >Bill will help calm me down >turn to Bill, f---, it's not Bill >just a fork with a face, can't calm me down >cut my life into pizzas >this is my plastic fork

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Anon in the 80s | /r/Greentext

Being a ninja isn't cool anymore Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)21:07:00 No.913102938 >Be me >Wayward kid of the 80s >Dad's an alcoholic who hates me and calls me queer >Mom's a w---- who's snorts cocaine off of men's asses. >Outside all the time >No friends. >Suddenly meet new friends >Tell me they think I'm kickass and invite me to their club. >Suspicious but don't wanna go home. >Follow them anyway >Big warehouse with bitchin' arcade games, billiard tables, and some kid smoking a cigar. >Other kids think I'm cool. >Weeks pass >Dad still hates me, Mom still a w----. >Go to clubhouse >Friends tell me this adult came by and wants to speak to me and my friends. >Guy says we're cool and gives us rad ninja outfits and weapons >Fuckyeah.jpg >Guy trains us then tells us to go stand out in an alleyway to guard it. >About to tell my friend that he saved my life >Friend then eviscerated by a big ass turtle with two swords. >FML as another pizza-smelling turtle smacks me in the head with a stick.
Being a ninja isn't cool anymore Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)21:07:00 No.913102938 >Be me >Wayward kid of the 80s >Dad's an alcoholic who hates me and calls me queer >Mom's a w---- who's snorts cocaine off of men's asses. >Outside all the time >No friends. >Suddenly meet new friends >Tell me they think I'm kickass and invite me to their club. >Suspicious but don't wanna go home. >Follow them anyway >Big warehouse with bitchin' arcade games, billiard tables, and some kid smoking a cigar. >Other kids think I'm cool. >Weeks pass >Dad still hates me, Mom still a w----. >Go to clubhouse >Friends tell me this adult came by and wants to speak to me and my friends. >Guy says we're cool and gives us rad ninja outfits and weapons >Fuckyeah.jpg >Guy trains us then tells us to go stand out in an alleyway to guard it. >About to tell my friend that he saved my life >Friend then eviscerated by a big ass turtle with two swords. >FML as another pizza-smelling turtle smacks me in the head with a stick.

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Anon wonders... | /r/Greentext

12m (9/15 14:25) - 906104363 5 Re - 1 Img JPG 55KB (1100 × 619) what.jpg Moralfagging > A 20 year old dude dates a 17 year old girl > They're into each other > Gets found out > Ends up in jail > Suddenly he's a monster, he's worse than people who murdered some child's mom or dad and ended up in the same prison > There are 40 year old men f------ 18 year old girls on a daily basis at the same time and normalfags don't give a s--- Why are normies so mentally retarded?
12m (9/15 14:25) - 906104363 5 Re - 1 Img JPG 55KB (1100 × 619) what.jpg Moralfagging > A 20 year old dude dates a 17 year old girl > They're into each other > Gets found out > Ends up in jail > Suddenly he's a monster, he's worse than people who murdered some child's mom or dad and ended up in the same prison > There are 40 year old men f------ 18 year old girls on a daily basis at the same time and normalfags don't give a s--- Why are normies so mentally retarded?

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If you know, you know | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>5124938 # 06/06/23(Tue)10:52:45 No.5125919 >driving home on your micro honda >listening citypop >cute wife and kids waiting home >drive into tunnel >look at the back mirror, see madman on a bicycle >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX!!!" >literally s--- myself f------ scary, man >>5139095 #
Anonymous >>5124938 # 06/06/23(Tue)10:52:45 No.5125919 >driving home on your micro honda >listening citypop >cute wife and kids waiting home >drive into tunnel >look at the back mirror, see madman on a bicycle >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX!!!" >literally s--- myself f------ scary, man >>5139095 #

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Anon has a shitty family | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I CAN'T F------ TAKE IT 05/08/24(Wed) 20:01:04 No.77422098 >be me >Straight man >I have a sister >She gets engaged to this guy >He drops by my place SERIOUSLY IM AT MY LIMIT randomly with some beer to get 154 KB JPG black out. to know me better and I agree since he is marrying my sister. >Everything is normal until I >I wake up the next day, my butt is in agony >I call the police, go to the hospital and get a r--- kit done >Police arrest my sister's fiance >R--- kit confirms he did r--- me with DNA >He smears me in trial, but the jury finds him guilty from all the evidence that he did it >He is sentenced to 4 years >This was almost 2 year ago >Sister no longer talks to me >Whole family thinks I'm gay now >The general belief in my family is that I'm a closeted gay man that got her fiance drunk and had sex with him and regretted it the next morning (despite me testing positive for roofies and other signs of r---) because that was his defense in trial >No one believes my story in my family, they all believe him >He is up for parole soon >My mother asked me not to challenge the parole because my sister still wants to marry him and I "did enough to him". I'm going to challenge that parole. F--- my family.
Anonymous I CAN'T F------ TAKE IT 05/08/24(Wed) 20:01:04 No.77422098 >be me >Straight man >I have a sister >She gets engaged to this guy >He drops by my place SERIOUSLY IM AT MY LIMIT randomly with some beer to get 154 KB JPG black out. to know me better and I agree since he is marrying my sister. >Everything is normal until I >I wake up the next day, my butt is in agony >I call the police, go to the hospital and get a r--- kit done >Police arrest my sister's fiance >R--- kit confirms he did r--- me with DNA >He smears me in trial, but the jury finds him guilty from all the evidence that he did it >He is sentenced to 4 years >This was almost 2 year ago >Sister no longer talks to me >Whole family thinks I'm gay now >The general belief in my family is that I'm a closeted gay man that got her fiance drunk and had sex with him and regretted it the next morning (despite me testing positive for roofies and other signs of r---) because that was his defense in trial >No one believes my story in my family, they all believe him >He is up for parole soon >My mother asked me not to challenge the parole because my sister still wants to marry him and I "did enough to him". I'm going to challenge that parole. F--- my family.

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