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Greentext Stories - Images (46,510 results)

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Anon gets some new students in his class | /r/Greentext

[Autism Intensifies] Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)20:12:14 UTC-6 No.521945124 [Reply] Replies: >>521949103 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if I do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee.* >Soundsgood.jpeg >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >I offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >Is about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >"Dad...?" >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >"Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling."
[Autism Intensifies] Anonymous 12/17/13(Tue)20:12:14 UTC-6 No.521945124 [Reply] Replies: >>521949103 >Be me, high school senior >A set of Chinese twins enter my grade in the middle of the year >greatmorechinks.jpeg >It was a boy and a girl: Ving and Ling Chingchongsomethingsomething >Parents must have been smashed on sake to think of those gems >Both are in my trig class >Ving sits next to me, turns out to be pretty cool >He tells me I can cheat off his tests if I do one thing for him >I'm failing trig, I'd sell my soul for his test answers >"Sure, anything." >He asks me how to legally change his name >He's sick of having a stupid-ass name like Ving >Can't say I blame him >Ask him what he wants his new name to be >"Lee. Like, Bruce Lee.* >Soundsgood.jpeg >Ling overhears us from a few rows away >Says that his name has been passed down for generations >His parents would disown him if he changed it >Ving doesn't give a s--- >I offer to drive him to town hall afterschool >Ling insists on tagging along >Shrug, drive them both >Walk into town hall, Ving goes straight to the desk >Demands a form, pulls out birth certificate >shitgotreal.jpeg >Starts scribbling down info on name-change sheet > Suddenly looks conflicted >Tears start welling >Apparently that ancestral s--- runs deep >Tells receptionist he can't do it >She says he'll have to pay a fee to cancel his request >Stupid-ass small-town laws >Ling is just glad he changed his mind, grabs some cash from her purse >Is about to hand it to the receptionist when some dude bursts into the town hall >Short, elderly Asian man, neon shorts, American flag t-shirt and ray-bans >Someone's gone full 'murican >Ving stares at the man, tears dripping down his yellow cheeks >"Dad...?" >Dad runs up and embraces son >Huge smile on his face >"Don't stop, be Lee, Ving >Hold on to that fee, Ling."

Greentext Stories

TES, bros... our response? | /r/Greentext

File: image_2025-06-19_191740297.png (189 KB, 483x340) ☐ Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:19:42 No.713100252 >>713100348 >>713100391 >>713100902 >>713100970 >>>713100976 >>713102267 >>713103491 >>713105140 When I was 16, I played The Elder Scrolls 5. I felt in that moment that I would live to see dozens of sequels. Now I know I shall not see The Elder Scrolls 6. >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:21:01 No.713100348 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:21:37 No.713100391 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:22:41 No.713100468 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:24:05 No.713100583 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:25:11 No.713100669 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:25:54 No.713100728
File: image_2025-06-19_191740297.png (189 KB, 483x340) ☐ Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:19:42 No.713100252 >>713100348 >>713100391 >>713100902 >>713100970 >>>713100976 >>713102267 >>713103491 >>713105140 When I was 16, I played The Elder Scrolls 5. I felt in that moment that I would live to see dozens of sequels. Now I know I shall not see The Elder Scrolls 6. >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:21:01 No.713100348 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:21:37 No.713100391 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:22:41 No.713100468 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:24:05 No.713100583 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:25:11 No.713100669 >> Anonymous 06/19/25(Thu)20:25:54 No.713100728

Greentext Stories

The Duality of Chan | /r/Greentext

R: 38 / 1: 16 Elves should not be pretty They should be inhuman borderline creepy looking. fite me c---. R: 51/I: 13 What's the best fantasy justification for giving elfs huge bouncing t------? I'm trying to plan out my next setting.
R: 38 / 1: 16 Elves should not be pretty They should be inhuman borderline creepy looking. fite me c---. R: 51/I: 13 What's the best fantasy justification for giving elfs huge bouncing t------? I'm trying to plan out my next setting.

Greentext Stories

Why aren't you Mundimaxxing? | /r/Greentext

2B2C76E3-9A51-4CFF-9218-D478B695C439.jpg >took the buzzpill Jesus christ Anonymous >>14939625 (OP) # 15 KB JPG 01/16/20(Thu)09:23:57 No.14939703 It is settled then. Yoda will take a battalion of clones to reinforce the Wookiees on Kashyyyk. >>14939752 # >>14939758 # >>14939920 # >>14940110 # >>14940141 # >>14940159 # >>14940177 #
2B2C76E3-9A51-4CFF-9218-D478B695C439.jpg >took the buzzpill Jesus christ Anonymous >>14939625 (OP) # 15 KB JPG 01/16/20(Thu)09:23:57 No.14939703 It is settled then. Yoda will take a battalion of clones to reinforce the Wookiees on Kashyyyk. >>14939752 # >>14939758 # >>14939920 # >>14940110 # >>14940141 # >>14940159 # >>14940177 #

Greentext Stories

Anon works at a record store. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.07 MB GIF sometimes >18 06/19/25(Thu)10:31:10 No.81542544 >work at a record store that does shows for bands too >it's a cool job >the owner owns the bar next door >have always been into one of the bartenders >she's really nice to me and she'll hang out with me after or before she works >I asked her out even though she's 29 >she was really nice about it and said that she was into girls >makes sense she's not really into make up and kindof dresses like it >I move for college in a couple months and I've made it a goal to pull off anything with her before then >it's hopeless but she's my one >last night an old regular that I haven't seen in months shows up >he's a really cool guy he seems a little weird like autistic but he's one of the only actual adults that treated me like I wasn't just a kid >at around 9:30 I watch him and the bartender walk from the bar into his car and f--- man
Anonymous 1.07 MB GIF sometimes >18 06/19/25(Thu)10:31:10 No.81542544 >work at a record store that does shows for bands too >it's a cool job >the owner owns the bar next door >have always been into one of the bartenders >she's really nice to me and she'll hang out with me after or before she works >I asked her out even though she's 29 >she was really nice about it and said that she was into girls >makes sense she's not really into make up and kindof dresses like it >I move for college in a couple months and I've made it a goal to pull off anything with her before then >it's hopeless but she's my one >last night an old regular that I haven't seen in months shows up >he's a really cool guy he seems a little weird like autistic but he's one of the only actual adults that treated me like I wasn't just a kid >at around 9:30 I watch him and the bartender walk from the bar into his car and f--- man

Greentext Stories

Anon manipulate the girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 575 KB JPG 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a hut at our school 500 USD to f--- me >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity
Anonymous 575 KB JPG 07/21/19(Sun)20:42:51 No.805223939 >17th bday >the bois got tired of me being a virgin >they gave a hut at our school 500 USD to f--- me >they locked us in a room together >i give her a hug and tell her "Your better than this" >she cries and gives me a peck in the cheek Crisis avoided and kept my virginity

Greentext Stories

Anon is a NEET | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 3xOuuLxo) 52 KB JPG 06/19/25(Thu)06:17:29 No.507973577 > neetbux > siphoning neighbor's WiFi for free > comfy Wagie sisters, what are the political implications of NEET chads staying extra comfy in 2025?
Anonymous (ID: 3xOuuLxo) 52 KB JPG 06/19/25(Thu)06:17:29 No.507973577 > neetbux > siphoning neighbor's WiFi for free > comfy Wagie sisters, what are the political implications of NEET chads staying extra comfy in 2025?

Greentext Stories

Anon doesn't like skittles | /r/Greentext

06/18/25(Wed)12:10:18 No.50787029 If God is so good, why did he create spiders? Or British people? Or yellow skittles. Nobody likes those. >>507870295 (OP) # Or muslims >British >Muslim Same thing
06/18/25(Wed)12:10:18 No.50787029 If God is so good, why did he create spiders? Or British people? Or yellow skittles. Nobody likes those. >>507870295 (OP) # Or muslims >British >Muslim Same thing

Greentext Stories

Is anon a virgin? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why Men Want Virgins 814 KB JPG 06/19/25(Thu)01:49:27 No.81540599 >virgin girl during sex >"oh my god this is it" >"he chose me... I'm finally enough" >"I hope he likes me without makeup" >"does he feel how fast my heart's beating?" >"this hurts but I don't want him to stop" >"maybe this means he'll love me forever" >"please don't leave me after this" >tfw you can hear her soul attaching itself to yours >non-virgin girl during sex >"ugh he's taking forever" >"I wonder if Chad ever thinks about me" >"this guy's worse than the one from that Tinder date" >"I hope he doesn't think this means anything" >"should I block him after or just ghost?" >"I need to remember to fake moan this time" >"did I leave my vibrator on the charger?" >tfw she's comparing you to 6 other guys mid-thrust and ranking you 5th And women wonder why men want a virgin wife... 10 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous View Thread 49 KB PNG 06/19/25(Thu)02:00:23 No.81540656 >>81540599 (OP) # it's literally true. i f----- a non-virgin girl once, you can just feel how non-special it is for her. for her it's another checkbox in a long checklist you gotta complete. 'oh just another f---, let's see what this guy can do' so unemotional, so dead, so fake. daily reminder to NEVER EVER date a girl who is non-virgin or has an ex
: Anonymous Why Men Want Virgins 814 KB JPG 06/19/25(Thu)01:49:27 No.81540599 >virgin girl during sex >"oh my god this is it" >"he chose me... I'm finally enough" >"I hope he likes me without makeup" >"does he feel how fast my heart's beating?" >"this hurts but I don't want him to stop" >"maybe this means he'll love me forever" >"please don't leave me after this" >tfw you can hear her soul attaching itself to yours >non-virgin girl during sex >"ugh he's taking forever" >"I wonder if Chad ever thinks about me" >"this guy's worse than the one from that Tinder date" >"I hope he doesn't think this means anything" >"should I block him after or just ghost?" >"I need to remember to fake moan this time" >"did I leave my vibrator on the charger?" >tfw she's comparing you to 6 other guys mid-thrust and ranking you 5th And women wonder why men want a virgin wife... 10 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous View Thread 49 KB PNG 06/19/25(Thu)02:00:23 No.81540656 >>81540599 (OP) # it's literally true. i f----- a non-virgin girl once, you can just feel how non-special it is for her. for her it's another checkbox in a long checklist you gotta complete. 'oh just another f---, let's see what this guy can do' so unemotional, so dead, so fake. daily reminder to NEVER EVER date a girl who is non-virgin or has an ex

Greentext Stories

One day a solar storm Will destroy all Technology | /r/Greentext

> wake up > Reddit's gone 20511.png 21 KB PNG
> wake up > Reddit's gone 20511.png 21 KB PNG

Greentext Stories

Richest Anon | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: rWbFl+zd) 06/18/25(Wed)17:01:23 No.507901886 AIRSTRE 829 KB JPG >destroys the rent jew permanently, $0 in rent besides maybe $15 a year in property tax Anonymous (ID: P4K80G9g) 06/18/25(Wed)17:02:17 No.507901993 >RVfags implying someone can afford 100% down People who live in RVs should be killed. Anonymous (ID: SQTribXY ) [ >>507901886 (OP). 06/18/25(Wed)17:02:18 No.507901994 >how to get zero p---- for there rest of your life
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect ▼Settings Mobile Home Anonymous (ID: rWbFl+zd) 06/18/25(Wed)17:01:23 No.507901886 AIRSTRE 829 KB JPG >destroys the rent jew permanently, $0 in rent besides maybe $15 a year in property tax Anonymous (ID: P4K80G9g) 06/18/25(Wed)17:02:17 No.507901993 >RVfags implying someone can afford 100% down People who live in RVs should be killed. Anonymous (ID: SQTribXY ) [ >>507901886 (OP). 06/18/25(Wed)17:02:18 No.507901994 >how to get zero p---- for there rest of your life

Greentext Stories

Operation Burger Flip | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 9aTpn3of) M 349 KB PNG 06/18/25(Wed)19:59:04 No.507920702 >I know Israel spy's on us, but that's ok because the brits spy on us too >Don't worry because we also spy on them That explains. That explains why there are so many Americans in Stoke Gifford. The McDonalds is probably their secret base of operations.
Anonymous (ID: 9aTpn3of) M 349 KB PNG 06/18/25(Wed)19:59:04 No.507920702 >I know Israel spy's on us, but that's ok because the brits spy on us too >Don't worry because we also spy on them That explains. That explains why there are so many Americans in Stoke Gifford. The McDonalds is probably their secret base of operations.

Greentext Stories

Foreign Policy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: Sbw8B1D4 >>507886081 (OP) # 06/18/25(Wed)19:40:34 No.507886395 >our politicians are basing foreign policy on a desert fanfic written 2000 years ago China is gonna win
Anonymous (ID: Sbw8B1D4 >>507886081 (OP) # 06/18/25(Wed)19:40:34 No.507886395 >our politicians are basing foreign policy on a desert fanfic written 2000 years ago China is gonna win

Greentext Stories

Queen of the Hill | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home The King of the Hill revival is going to be woke. The King of the Hill revival i(...) 06/18/25(Wed) 20:01:26 No.507888725 "We liked the idea that he had been gone for a while, and the most Mayberry kind of freezer that you could put the family in was an Aramco base, which is like an idealized kind of white-picket-fence America," says show co-creator Greg Daniels. “They had gone to Saudi Arabia and they were just coming back and had missed out on a lot of recent, uh, cultural changes." woke hank incoming.png 17 KB PNG And there's nothing you can do about it. Prepare for your childhood show to lay out all the ways in which you betrayed America over the past decade with your choice to support Trump and the crusade against immigrants/alphabet people. Anonymous (ID: VGFC1nMO) >>507888725 (OP) # 06/18/25(Wed) 20:02:38 No.507888859 It was woke to begin with you f------ retard. >>507889004 # >>507889064 # >>507889181 #
Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Settings Mobile Home The King of the Hill revival is going to be woke. The King of the Hill revival i(...) 06/18/25(Wed) 20:01:26 No.507888725 "We liked the idea that he had been gone for a while, and the most Mayberry kind of freezer that you could put the family in was an Aramco base, which is like an idealized kind of white-picket-fence America," says show co-creator Greg Daniels. “They had gone to Saudi Arabia and they were just coming back and had missed out on a lot of recent, uh, cultural changes." woke hank incoming.png 17 KB PNG And there's nothing you can do about it. Prepare for your childhood show to lay out all the ways in which you betrayed America over the past decade with your choice to support Trump and the crusade against immigrants/alphabet people. Anonymous (ID: VGFC1nMO) >>507888725 (OP) # 06/18/25(Wed) 20:02:38 No.507888859 It was woke to begin with you f------ retard. >>507889004 # >>507889064 # >>507889181 #

Greentext Stories

George "set your phazer to come" Takei | /r/Greentext

Get comfortable. 409 KB JPG WHATS HIS NAME PEE TEE GEE???! >George "Arm the Protein Torpedoes" Takei >George "Ensign, Handle My Captain's Log" Takei >George "Lispier than an Emacs Conference" Takei >George "The Trump Curse Won't B------- Me Because I'd Like That" Takei >George "I am now Living as a Gay Man" Takei >George "You Just Got Takei'd, Boy" Takei >George "Star-slip, Enter-behind" Takei >George "Butt-play" Takei >George "Grabbin' Thigh" Takei >George "Shooting loads in your eyes" Takei >George "Take a sip and I spread your hips" Takei >George "It was a f------ joke senpai" Takei >George 'C-- of sum yung guy" Takei >George "Sulute Your Shorts" Takei >George "I like young guys" Takei >George "C--- Asian" Takei >George "Kami-poz-e" Takei >George "It's Not Gay In The Shuttlebay" Takei
Get comfortable. 409 KB JPG WHATS HIS NAME PEE TEE GEE???! >George "Arm the Protein Torpedoes" Takei >George "Ensign, Handle My Captain's Log" Takei >George "Lispier than an Emacs Conference" Takei >George "The Trump Curse Won't B------- Me Because I'd Like That" Takei >George "I am now Living as a Gay Man" Takei >George "You Just Got Takei'd, Boy" Takei >George "Star-slip, Enter-behind" Takei >George "Butt-play" Takei >George "Grabbin' Thigh" Takei >George "Shooting loads in your eyes" Takei >George "Take a sip and I spread your hips" Takei >George "It was a f------ joke senpai" Takei >George 'C-- of sum yung guy" Takei >George "Sulute Your Shorts" Takei >George "I like young guys" Takei >George "C--- Asian" Takei >George "Kami-poz-e" Takei >George "It's Not Gay In The Shuttlebay" Takei

Greentext Stories

Anon has autism. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous autism cucks me again 06/18/25(Wed)13:53:46 No.81533871 next time ILL pick the place thank you very much Lol Does that mean you had a bad time? Imfao no i had so much fun Me too! I was worried you wouldn't hahah nothing to worry abt at all :-) Then the only way I'd get to sleep with you would be for me to r--- you Today 12:08 PM Kidding! Lol Read 9:13 AM I was kidding. Lol Sent as Text Message Hello? Sent as Text Message 601 KB JPG >take a qt out for a date >actually goes well for once >next morning chatting about it >autism goblin forcibly grabs my hands and makes me text pic rel >blocked immediately KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME
Anonymous autism cucks me again 06/18/25(Wed)13:53:46 No.81533871 next time ILL pick the place thank you very much Lol Does that mean you had a bad time? Imfao no i had so much fun Me too! I was worried you wouldn't hahah nothing to worry abt at all :-) Then the only way I'd get to sleep with you would be for me to r--- you Today 12:08 PM Kidding! Lol Read 9:13 AM I was kidding. Lol Sent as Text Message Hello? Sent as Text Message 601 KB JPG >take a qt out for a date >actually goes well for once >next morning chatting about it >autism goblin forcibly grabs my hands and makes me text pic rel >blocked immediately KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME

Greentext Stories
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