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Greentext Stories - Images (46,878 results)

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Banana phone | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: BDdifEJ/ ) No shootout needed 07/10/25(Thu)16:19:14 No.510050137 >Driving to work michael_bolton.jpg 23 KB JPG >Eating my banana at a red light >Landscaping truck pulls up next to me >Start hearing voices so look over >The entire crew is laughing at me >California native so I know enough Spanish to know when I'm being made fun of >Grab my phone >DHS/ICE hotline already in contacts >Call on speakerphone with full volume >Report the name on the truck, phone number, and license >Mood in the truck flips immediately >They cut over to the turn line >They run the red to make a u-turn >They speed back the way they came >Continue to eat my banana Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.
Anonymous (ID: BDdifEJ/ ) No shootout needed 07/10/25(Thu)16:19:14 No.510050137 >Driving to work michael_bolton.jpg 23 KB JPG >Eating my banana at a red light >Landscaping truck pulls up next to me >Start hearing voices so look over >The entire crew is laughing at me >California native so I know enough Spanish to know when I'm being made fun of >Grab my phone >DHS/ICE hotline already in contacts >Call on speakerphone with full volume >Report the name on the truck, phone number, and license >Mood in the truck flips immediately >They cut over to the turn line >They run the red to make a u-turn >They speed back the way they came >Continue to eat my banana Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

Greentext Stories

Least Lonely Anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/17/19(Wed)16:31:29 No.51985535 >buy big pillow >spray female perfume on it >hug it while laying in bed imagining its a qt girl >kiss it and whisper "i love you, good night" >pillow never says anything back >feel even sadder while falling asleep What level of loneliness are you on?
Anonymous 35 KB JPG 04/17/19(Wed)16:31:29 No.51985535 >buy big pillow >spray female perfume on it >hug it while laying in bed imagining its a qt girl >kiss it and whisper "i love you, good night" >pillow never says anything back >feel even sadder while falling asleep What level of loneliness are you on?

Greentext Stories

Anon's whole furniture scrolls the board | /r/Greentext

File: notrelated.jpg (106 KB, 603x560) the weak should fear the strong Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)05:36:50 No.708962344 >>708965101 >>708965980 >>708966879 >>708967656 >>708969293 >>708970383 >>708970430 Spooky stories thread >Be in living room at 03:17 >Browsing YouTube while waiting for toast >Hear knock on the door >Don't answer >Few moments later I hear another louder knock >Don't answer >I slightly forget that there's a stranger at my door for a few moments. >I hear a f------ pig squeal from the door. >Im switching from w-- to h-------- in my mind >Wait for at least 10 - 15 minutes sitting under my dining room table clutching a knife from the kitchen >Go back upstairs and post this to /b/ Spooky pig man, thank you for the sleepless night. >> Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)05:48:23 No. 708963419 >>708964852 >>708965101 >>708965422 >>708966879 >>708970430 File: demonspawn.jpg (148 KB, 612x612) >Be demonspawn >Hungry for human souls >Knock on someone's door >No answer >Knock louder >No response >Let out scream of frustration >Suddenly hear footsteps >Look in window, this f----- is clutching a knife like that would help him >Hide in his room >They come up to post on 4chan >About to devour them >mfw Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:04:35 No.708965048 >>708965422 >>708966879 >Be door >Some f----- is knocking on me pretending to be demon spawn >Leave me alone Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:02:36 No.708964852 >>708965101 >>708965422 >>708966879 >>708970430 File: 244.jpg (349 KB, 2508x1376) >>708963419 >Be knife >Chilling in the draw with my bros for and spoon >F----- human grabs me >Carries me under the table shaking like a p---- >Dumps me on the side and posts on 4chan like a pleb >mfw Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:08:50 No.708965436 >>708966879 File: IMG_0024.jpg (17 KB, 276x183) >be me >3:17 >f------ cooking toast as usual >goes to sit down >whimpering like a little bitch clutching a knife under me >mfw he doesn't get up for another 15 mins Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:08:39 No.708965422 ► File: 1473487157483.jpg (12 KB, 250x247) >>708963419 Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:11:17 No.708965677 ► File: 44.jpg (19 KB, 413x395) Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:31:12 No. 708967773 >>708967878 >>708964852 >>708965048 Someone please imgcap this s--- I'm dying laughing I just received hope in /b/ Well done lads Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)07:03:55 No.708970665 ►>>708970799 File: received 854979804646373.jpg (18 KB, 540x960) Include me in screencap Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)07:14:23 No.708971646 ► File: 1476077310609.jpg (242 KB, 495x600) plz screencap me haiyayayay leddit. I bet you're going to farm all the upboats you f------ hyayayayaya Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:13:27 No.708965867 >>708966879 File: Computer001.jpg (18 KB, 450x450) >F----- comes back >Starts fapping >Be computer >F----- is using me for browsing on /b/ >knocking and yelling is coming from doorbro >F----- freaks the f--- out and thinks some pig demon wants to eat him >Leaves me by myself for like 15 mins >Google search a bunch of gay p--- while he's gone Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:14:31 No.708965980 >>708966072 >>>708966293 >>708966532 >>708966879 File: 6360385595433028911822447(...).jpg (237 KB, 1024x1024) >>708962344 (OP) >be me >be toast >3:17 >get put in hot ass toaster >get baked like a f------ jew >human comes near me >walks past me and grabs a big ass knife >butterknifeisdowntherefaggot.png >hides under a table like the little queer he is >runs upstairs >still hasn't got me >wat do /b/ Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)07:10:10 No.708971246 ► File: IMG_0504.jpg (43 KB, 247x248) Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:41:10 No.708968621 ► File: 1474072541727.jpg (15 KB, 285x249) >>708968416 I finally get to be part of a screencap >mfw Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:53:43 No.708969785 ► File: images (12).jpg (7 KB, 300x168) TOP JEJ > This thread
File: notrelated.jpg (106 KB, 603x560) the weak should fear the strong Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)05:36:50 No.708962344 >>708965101 >>708965980 >>708966879 >>708967656 >>708969293 >>708970383 >>708970430 Spooky stories thread >Be in living room at 03:17 >Browsing YouTube while waiting for toast >Hear knock on the door >Don't answer >Few moments later I hear another louder knock >Don't answer >I slightly forget that there's a stranger at my door for a few moments. >I hear a f------ pig squeal from the door. >Im switching from w-- to h-------- in my mind >Wait for at least 10 - 15 minutes sitting under my dining room table clutching a knife from the kitchen >Go back upstairs and post this to /b/ Spooky pig man, thank you for the sleepless night. >> Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)05:48:23 No. 708963419 >>708964852 >>708965101 >>708965422 >>708966879 >>708970430 File: demonspawn.jpg (148 KB, 612x612) >Be demonspawn >Hungry for human souls >Knock on someone's door >No answer >Knock louder >No response >Let out scream of frustration >Suddenly hear footsteps >Look in window, this f----- is clutching a knife like that would help him >Hide in his room >They come up to post on 4chan >About to devour them >mfw Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:04:35 No.708965048 >>708965422 >>708966879 >Be door >Some f----- is knocking on me pretending to be demon spawn >Leave me alone Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:02:36 No.708964852 >>708965101 >>708965422 >>708966879 >>708970430 File: 244.jpg (349 KB, 2508x1376) >>708963419 >Be knife >Chilling in the draw with my bros for and spoon >F----- human grabs me >Carries me under the table shaking like a p---- >Dumps me on the side and posts on 4chan like a pleb >mfw Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:08:50 No.708965436 >>708966879 File: IMG_0024.jpg (17 KB, 276x183) >be me >3:17 >f------ cooking toast as usual >goes to sit down >whimpering like a little bitch clutching a knife under me >mfw he doesn't get up for another 15 mins Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:08:39 No.708965422 ► File: 1473487157483.jpg (12 KB, 250x247) >>708963419 Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:11:17 No.708965677 ► File: 44.jpg (19 KB, 413x395) Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:31:12 No. 708967773 >>708967878 >>708964852 >>708965048 Someone please imgcap this s--- I'm dying laughing I just received hope in /b/ Well done lads Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)07:03:55 No.708970665 ►>>708970799 File: received 854979804646373.jpg (18 KB, 540x960) Include me in screencap Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)07:14:23 No.708971646 ► File: 1476077310609.jpg (242 KB, 495x600) plz screencap me haiyayayay leddit. I bet you're going to farm all the upboats you f------ hyayayayaya Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:13:27 No.708965867 >>708966879 File: Computer001.jpg (18 KB, 450x450) >F----- comes back >Starts fapping >Be computer >F----- is using me for browsing on /b/ >knocking and yelling is coming from doorbro >F----- freaks the f--- out and thinks some pig demon wants to eat him >Leaves me by myself for like 15 mins >Google search a bunch of gay p--- while he's gone Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:14:31 No.708965980 >>708966072 >>>708966293 >>708966532 >>708966879 File: 6360385595433028911822447(...).jpg (237 KB, 1024x1024) >>708962344 (OP) >be me >be toast >3:17 >get put in hot ass toaster >get baked like a f------ jew >human comes near me >walks past me and grabs a big ass knife >butterknifeisdowntherefaggot.png >hides under a table like the little queer he is >runs upstairs >still hasn't got me >wat do /b/ Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)07:10:10 No.708971246 ► File: IMG_0504.jpg (43 KB, 247x248) Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:41:10 No.708968621 ► File: 1474072541727.jpg (15 KB, 285x249) >>708968416 I finally get to be part of a screencap >mfw Anonymous 10/23/16(Sun)06:53:43 No.708969785 ► File: images (12).jpg (7 KB, 300x168) TOP JEJ > This thread

Greentext Stories

Anon is apologetic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears
Anonymous 12/07/11(Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

Greentext Stories

Anon on internet debates. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 30 KB JPG 07/12/25(Sat)01:09:44 No.81790674 >ARE YOU IMPLYING... >WAIT BEFORE YOU TRY TO BRUSH OVER THAT DETAIL... >THE AUDIENCE CAN SEE THE TRANSCRIPT >IF YOU WOULD LET ME SPEAK >JUST TO CLARIFY WHAT I HEARD YOU SAY... how do people watch internet www 'debates""""?
Anonymous 30 KB JPG 07/12/25(Sat)01:09:44 No.81790674 >ARE YOU IMPLYING... >WAIT BEFORE YOU TRY TO BRUSH OVER THAT DETAIL... >THE AUDIENCE CAN SEE THE TRANSCRIPT >IF YOU WOULD LET ME SPEAK >JUST TO CLARIFY WHAT I HEARD YOU SAY... how do people watch internet www 'debates""""?

Greentext Stories

Anonman: No one wants to be Hom(i)e | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)21:36:22 No. 17989599 >>17989643 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 File: 1white spiderman.jpg (101 KB, 900x695) >>17989392 >grow up in the countryside >home-schooled because my parents don't trust the government >otherwise they were great parents though >don't have any neighbours or siblings, so no friends >parents buy me comic books to spark my imagination >start really enjoying spiderman >white spiderman becomes my favourite (pic related) so my parents make me a costume for my tenth birthday >wear it everyday >parents encourage me to play outside more >nothingouthere.gif >whatever, pretend to be spiderman while jumping around the forest >fast-forward a few years, always been tall for my age and by the time im 15 im 6ft >never really did sport though except for running around the forest like spiderman, which i was getting pretty good at, so pretty thin and lanky >one evening, around 6ish, while playing near the road into town, I see a car's headlights stopped still on the road >go to investigate >peering from the trees, I see some teenagers, maybe 18 or so, standing around the car >first time I've seen people other than my parents in years >can't make out what they're saying but they seem distressed and jittery >want to go ask if i can help but scared they won't like me >one of them peers in my direction >it's around sunset so there's not loads of light, unsure if he can see more or not >our eyes lock for what feels like hours >hear boom and instinctively drop into a prone position >guy looks away briefly as the car starts smoking >he looks back towards me but his gaze never settles >wonder what he's looking for? >another one loudly says a naughty word >they grab all their stuff from the car and carry on on foot >want to learn more so decide to follow them >take off my spiderman mask so they'll know i'm not really spiderman if they see me >but try to stay hidden because i think they might not like me >in my head im their guardian angel >after about an hour, they come to a clearing cont? >>>Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)21:49:40 No. 17989643 >>17989689 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989599 >they begin to set up camp >realise this is the same clearing where i reenact my justice league operas >my limited edition superman action figure is still buried there in a stunning twist when zod imprisoned him at the end of my last episode >think i can casually walk over and explain the situation but notice one of them is standing by their camp's outskirt looking pretty intimidatingly into the forest >it's the same guy who was staring in my direction earlier >decide to call him Weird Al >circle around the forest surrounding the opening, looking for the easiest way to sneak into the camp >a twig snaps beneath me >suddenly weird al reacts really fast >notice he's holding a gun and pointing it in my direction >don't think he can see me though since he keeps moving his aim around >realise they're playing commandos >pretty soon they get a fire going >it's pretty dark by now >weird al's sitting with the others in a circle around the fire > can hear them talking and laughing >want to know what they're saying (and still want my superman figure back) >crawl on all 4 towards their camp cause im still playing spiderman >certain they can't see me in this dark >get close enough to make out what they're saying >talking about ghosts and urban legends >never heard a good ghost story outside my comic books before >lie on the ground listening >eventually fall asleep to their stories >wake up a couple of hours later >fire's still burning but they're all gone, probably inside their tents >stomachrumbling.jpg >see they left some bags of food around >figure they won't mind if i take some >some weird plastic wrapping with something crunchy inside >have to rip it open but inside is a salty treat >remember to grab my spiderman >dig around and retrieve it >worry about the fire >notice it's attracting moths >i don't want these guys to be attacked by a swarm of moths in the morning >also don't want to contribute to greenhouse gases unnecessarily cont >> Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:03:48 No. 17989689 >>17989709 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989643 >use one of their water bottles to douse out the fire >decide to head home for the night, but promise myself to visit them again tomorrow to see how they're doing >scamper away on all fours again because i remember im still supposed to be spiderman >the next day >don't tell my parents about the campers because i've never had real friends and i'm scared my parents will grow concerned >return around 5 in the afternoon, with binoculars this time so i can pretend i have spidey-vision >just before sunset, so it's still bright enough >still wearing my spiderman suit without the mask > again wait at the edge of the clearing in the forest, spying on them through my binocs >they've got new firewood, lots of it >appear to be cooking a rabbit >not cool guys, rabbits are our friends >begin to wonder what rabbit tastes like... remember i need to focus >weird al is by their tents looking at the forest, gun by side >on the other side of the fire, one of his friends is looking out the other direction and appears to have a gun too >i see they're finally taking commandos seriously >the other 3 people, 2 girls and a guy, are sitting close together the guy's tending to the rabbit and the girls are wrapped in a blanket >watch them for a while, one of the girls reminds me of mary-jane, wonder if she can be my girlfriend like in the comic >eventually go back to weird al >feel something on my shoulder >drop by binocs as i swat a spider away >hear shouting >look over at the camp >weird al's pointing his gun in my direction and shouting >the cooking trio back away >the other guy with the gun rushes to weird al's side >i'll call him friendly steve because he seems less tense >friendly steve points his gun in my direction too >what the f---? decide he's more like angry steve >not entirely convinced they're actually aiming at me >start circling the edge again like last night, they seem to move their aim with me >hmm cont >>> Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:16:16 No. 17989709 >>17989752 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989689 >weird al starts shouting at me >can't make out what he's saying >it's better to say nothing and have people think you're stupid then open your mouth and confirm your stupidity >shouts at me again >have no idea what to do >parents were right, i am too immature for social situations >tony stark would surely know what to do >suddenly hear a loud bang and the tree next to me explodes >well a chunk of it explodes off >instinctively crouch into prone position >several more bangs > can't see weird al or angry steve very well cause they're surrounded by smoke, but see a few flashes of light >eventually realise they're shooting at me >what did i ever do to them though? >run off on all fours again, with my experience it's much faster than running >get home and start crying >parents ask what's wrong >tell them i met some cool youths and they didn't like me >parents hug me and tell me maybe it's because of my costume >mum thinks it's proof that i'm not ready to have friends >dad insists that this could be good since im showing initiative by going out to meet people >they settle on dressing me appropriately tomorrow so i could reintroduce myself >they assure me that if i just be myself, the kids will like me >take comfort in their words >next day dress in an old t-shirt and sweat pants >put on my best smile and head out to meet them >mum offers me some cherries before i leave for good luck >don't mind if i do >must've eaten like 30 cherries, had cherry juice all over my mouth >as im wondering through the forest, cherries attract flies which cause me to stop paying attention and I slip in deer feces >on the verge of tears cause i smell like deer s--- >want to head back, but no! have to be strong if i'm ready for friends >heading towards camp, i see mary-jane wandering around the forest >she keeps calling out a name, ben i think >stand still watching her >she sees me >at first she winces >remember what my parents told me about being social cont Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:30:25 No. 17989752 >>17989794>>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989709 >smile at mary-jane >smile and the world smiles with you afterall >she doesn't smile >she takes a step back >"have you seen my friend Ben" she says >she says it really fast >repeat it back to her a couple of times to digest it and look down >oh no! my parents say it's rude to break eye-contact >look back at her in the eye >"well" she says >again i repeat it, think and then say "your friend ben, i have not seen" so she'll think i'm mysterious and mystic >notice she's covering her nose >why? >she suddenly looks really scared >i go to comfort her and she immediately runs off into the forest >that was weird >carry on and come to the old factory river >you should never swim in it because there was a factory upstream that leaked its sewage into it >my dad was really upset about it but apparently it wasn't illegal due to some weird loophole or something >hear talking >crouch low and walk downstream towards the voices, hiding behind bushes >see weird al and angry steve playing in the water >see all their stuff about 100m away on the shore >their guns! >guns are bad my parents always say and as the only resident on-site, it's my duty to confiscate them until they're ready to leave >walk over and take them, weird al and angry steve don't even notice, too busy playing >guns are heavy and so, after around 20 minutes, i put them in a ditch and cover them with leaves so i can get them later >carry on towards their camp > get there and it's empty, not a soul in sight >rabbit leftovers are on a spit over the fire's remains >since no one's around, i decide to take a bite of the rabbit, just to taste it >easier said than done, end up accidentally breaking the spit trying to tear a bit off >lose my balance and trample over one of the tents >woops >draw a peace sign in the dirt in kryptonian as a way of apologising >the rabbit didn't even taste very good in the end >make my way back home, i would return in the evening cont >>>Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:43:00 No. 17989794 >>17989839 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989752 >gets dark out and I've changed my clothes >id completely forgotten about the cherries on my face >mary-jane must've thought i was some sort of cherry bandit >face is all washed now though >put on my best suit, afterall this is my last chance to make friends >thinking about it, up until she ran away, me and mary-jane actually got on pretty well >maybe there's hope for us yet? >work my way back to the edge of the clearing >their camp has a huge fire >they're all out of sight though, no stories or cooking >see that they didn't put the tent i trod on back up >see the other tent rustle >weird al rushes out past the fire >in the moonlight i just about make out him running 20m or so and then stopping >he stands still for another 30s with his back to the camp before running back to camp >just before he reaches the fire, he stops and looks in my direction >has he seen me? hurrah i can finally introduce myself >he starts shaking and shouting >not wanting a repeat of yesterday and I make myself visible by stepping out of the busges so they don't think I'm a deer or something >weird al shouts at me and this time i hear what he says >"Ben? Is that you?" >I repeat it back >then realise what i said >of course im not ben, idiot >remember to smile >find it hard to smile and talk so just shake my head >end up accidentally shaking my whole body >by now the rest of the gang has come out of the tent >i say the rest, but there's only 4 of them >one of the guys is missing >that must be this ben they were asking about >begin to wonder myself where he is >they're all staring at me weirdly and shivering even though it's summer >"where's ben?" I shout >angry steve whispers to weird al and weird al shouts back that he doesn't know >then he shouts at me "what have you done with Ben?" >if this is a game i don't get it > decide the only way to earn their trust is to impress them cont >> Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:56:04 No. 17989839 >>17989909 >>17989916>>17989966 >>18001083 >>18004979 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>18008096 >>17989794 >drop down onto all fours and do my spiderman crawl so they'll see how agile i am >they immediately scream and all run away >how weird >run after them >matching their pace is surprisingly easy, maybe cause the girls had short legs >follow weird al into the forest >the forest shields the moonlight so i can only see his silhouette >he turns to me >"Roger, did you see that thing? it looked human but its movements..." > can't think of anything to say so just nod >weird al keeps talking, saying how useful his Eyy Ar would be right now >no idea what he means >eventually meet up with the others >celebrations all round >finally they accept me >they must've been impressed by my spiderman crawl afterall >angry steve says they should try to find the car >"what about ben?" i muster in my best weird al impression to show Im one of many talents >"I hate to say it James, but i think he's gone" says the girl who's not mary-jane >who on earth is James? >suddenly mary-jane stops walking >"what is it Sam?" angry Steve asks >mary-jane whispers in his ear >he raises his arm and starts pointing at us while counting >"Ben's not here" he says very slowly.. >Weird Al replies "yeah?!" before suddenly standing up straight >he just screams "RUN" and takes off > everyone scatters >begin to think my new friends are a little weird >decide to go home Never did find out what happened to Ben, but that forest is full of ditches so he was probably just playing hide and seek. Still can't believe weird al and angry steve were playing in the water, my dad says the factory's chemicals mean that bathing in it will make your hair fall out for sure Anyway, that's my weird story
Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)21:36:22 No. 17989599 >>17989643 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 File: 1white spiderman.jpg (101 KB, 900x695) >>17989392 >grow up in the countryside >home-schooled because my parents don't trust the government >otherwise they were great parents though >don't have any neighbours or siblings, so no friends >parents buy me comic books to spark my imagination >start really enjoying spiderman >white spiderman becomes my favourite (pic related) so my parents make me a costume for my tenth birthday >wear it everyday >parents encourage me to play outside more >nothingouthere.gif >whatever, pretend to be spiderman while jumping around the forest >fast-forward a few years, always been tall for my age and by the time im 15 im 6ft >never really did sport though except for running around the forest like spiderman, which i was getting pretty good at, so pretty thin and lanky >one evening, around 6ish, while playing near the road into town, I see a car's headlights stopped still on the road >go to investigate >peering from the trees, I see some teenagers, maybe 18 or so, standing around the car >first time I've seen people other than my parents in years >can't make out what they're saying but they seem distressed and jittery >want to go ask if i can help but scared they won't like me >one of them peers in my direction >it's around sunset so there's not loads of light, unsure if he can see more or not >our eyes lock for what feels like hours >hear boom and instinctively drop into a prone position >guy looks away briefly as the car starts smoking >he looks back towards me but his gaze never settles >wonder what he's looking for? >another one loudly says a naughty word >they grab all their stuff from the car and carry on on foot >want to learn more so decide to follow them >take off my spiderman mask so they'll know i'm not really spiderman if they see me >but try to stay hidden because i think they might not like me >in my head im their guardian angel >after about an hour, they come to a clearing cont? >>>Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)21:49:40 No. 17989643 >>17989689 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989599 >they begin to set up camp >realise this is the same clearing where i reenact my justice league operas >my limited edition superman action figure is still buried there in a stunning twist when zod imprisoned him at the end of my last episode >think i can casually walk over and explain the situation but notice one of them is standing by their camp's outskirt looking pretty intimidatingly into the forest >it's the same guy who was staring in my direction earlier >decide to call him Weird Al >circle around the forest surrounding the opening, looking for the easiest way to sneak into the camp >a twig snaps beneath me >suddenly weird al reacts really fast >notice he's holding a gun and pointing it in my direction >don't think he can see me though since he keeps moving his aim around >realise they're playing commandos >pretty soon they get a fire going >it's pretty dark by now >weird al's sitting with the others in a circle around the fire > can hear them talking and laughing >want to know what they're saying (and still want my superman figure back) >crawl on all 4 towards their camp cause im still playing spiderman >certain they can't see me in this dark >get close enough to make out what they're saying >talking about ghosts and urban legends >never heard a good ghost story outside my comic books before >lie on the ground listening >eventually fall asleep to their stories >wake up a couple of hours later >fire's still burning but they're all gone, probably inside their tents >stomachrumbling.jpg >see they left some bags of food around >figure they won't mind if i take some >some weird plastic wrapping with something crunchy inside >have to rip it open but inside is a salty treat >remember to grab my spiderman >dig around and retrieve it >worry about the fire >notice it's attracting moths >i don't want these guys to be attacked by a swarm of moths in the morning >also don't want to contribute to greenhouse gases unnecessarily cont >> Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:03:48 No. 17989689 >>17989709 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989643 >use one of their water bottles to douse out the fire >decide to head home for the night, but promise myself to visit them again tomorrow to see how they're doing >scamper away on all fours again because i remember im still supposed to be spiderman >the next day >don't tell my parents about the campers because i've never had real friends and i'm scared my parents will grow concerned >return around 5 in the afternoon, with binoculars this time so i can pretend i have spidey-vision >just before sunset, so it's still bright enough >still wearing my spiderman suit without the mask > again wait at the edge of the clearing in the forest, spying on them through my binocs >they've got new firewood, lots of it >appear to be cooking a rabbit >not cool guys, rabbits are our friends >begin to wonder what rabbit tastes like... remember i need to focus >weird al is by their tents looking at the forest, gun by side >on the other side of the fire, one of his friends is looking out the other direction and appears to have a gun too >i see they're finally taking commandos seriously >the other 3 people, 2 girls and a guy, are sitting close together the guy's tending to the rabbit and the girls are wrapped in a blanket >watch them for a while, one of the girls reminds me of mary-jane, wonder if she can be my girlfriend like in the comic >eventually go back to weird al >feel something on my shoulder >drop by binocs as i swat a spider away >hear shouting >look over at the camp >weird al's pointing his gun in my direction and shouting >the cooking trio back away >the other guy with the gun rushes to weird al's side >i'll call him friendly steve because he seems less tense >friendly steve points his gun in my direction too >what the f---? decide he's more like angry steve >not entirely convinced they're actually aiming at me >start circling the edge again like last night, they seem to move their aim with me >hmm cont >>> Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:16:16 No. 17989709 >>17989752 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989689 >weird al starts shouting at me >can't make out what he's saying >it's better to say nothing and have people think you're stupid then open your mouth and confirm your stupidity >shouts at me again >have no idea what to do >parents were right, i am too immature for social situations >tony stark would surely know what to do >suddenly hear a loud bang and the tree next to me explodes >well a chunk of it explodes off >instinctively crouch into prone position >several more bangs > can't see weird al or angry steve very well cause they're surrounded by smoke, but see a few flashes of light >eventually realise they're shooting at me >what did i ever do to them though? >run off on all fours again, with my experience it's much faster than running >get home and start crying >parents ask what's wrong >tell them i met some cool youths and they didn't like me >parents hug me and tell me maybe it's because of my costume >mum thinks it's proof that i'm not ready to have friends >dad insists that this could be good since im showing initiative by going out to meet people >they settle on dressing me appropriately tomorrow so i could reintroduce myself >they assure me that if i just be myself, the kids will like me >take comfort in their words >next day dress in an old t-shirt and sweat pants >put on my best smile and head out to meet them >mum offers me some cherries before i leave for good luck >don't mind if i do >must've eaten like 30 cherries, had cherry juice all over my mouth >as im wondering through the forest, cherries attract flies which cause me to stop paying attention and I slip in deer feces >on the verge of tears cause i smell like deer s--- >want to head back, but no! have to be strong if i'm ready for friends >heading towards camp, i see mary-jane wandering around the forest >she keeps calling out a name, ben i think >stand still watching her >she sees me >at first she winces >remember what my parents told me about being social cont Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:30:25 No. 17989752 >>17989794>>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989709 >smile at mary-jane >smile and the world smiles with you afterall >she doesn't smile >she takes a step back >"have you seen my friend Ben" she says >she says it really fast >repeat it back to her a couple of times to digest it and look down >oh no! my parents say it's rude to break eye-contact >look back at her in the eye >"well" she says >again i repeat it, think and then say "your friend ben, i have not seen" so she'll think i'm mysterious and mystic >notice she's covering her nose >why? >she suddenly looks really scared >i go to comfort her and she immediately runs off into the forest >that was weird >carry on and come to the old factory river >you should never swim in it because there was a factory upstream that leaked its sewage into it >my dad was really upset about it but apparently it wasn't illegal due to some weird loophole or something >hear talking >crouch low and walk downstream towards the voices, hiding behind bushes >see weird al and angry steve playing in the water >see all their stuff about 100m away on the shore >their guns! >guns are bad my parents always say and as the only resident on-site, it's my duty to confiscate them until they're ready to leave >walk over and take them, weird al and angry steve don't even notice, too busy playing >guns are heavy and so, after around 20 minutes, i put them in a ditch and cover them with leaves so i can get them later >carry on towards their camp > get there and it's empty, not a soul in sight >rabbit leftovers are on a spit over the fire's remains >since no one's around, i decide to take a bite of the rabbit, just to taste it >easier said than done, end up accidentally breaking the spit trying to tear a bit off >lose my balance and trample over one of the tents >woops >draw a peace sign in the dirt in kryptonian as a way of apologising >the rabbit didn't even taste very good in the end >make my way back home, i would return in the evening cont >>>Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:43:00 No. 17989794 >>17989839 >>17989916 >>17989966 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>17989752 >gets dark out and I've changed my clothes >id completely forgotten about the cherries on my face >mary-jane must've thought i was some sort of cherry bandit >face is all washed now though >put on my best suit, afterall this is my last chance to make friends >thinking about it, up until she ran away, me and mary-jane actually got on pretty well >maybe there's hope for us yet? >work my way back to the edge of the clearing >their camp has a huge fire >they're all out of sight though, no stories or cooking >see that they didn't put the tent i trod on back up >see the other tent rustle >weird al rushes out past the fire >in the moonlight i just about make out him running 20m or so and then stopping >he stands still for another 30s with his back to the camp before running back to camp >just before he reaches the fire, he stops and looks in my direction >has he seen me? hurrah i can finally introduce myself >he starts shaking and shouting >not wanting a repeat of yesterday and I make myself visible by stepping out of the busges so they don't think I'm a deer or something >weird al shouts at me and this time i hear what he says >"Ben? Is that you?" >I repeat it back >then realise what i said >of course im not ben, idiot >remember to smile >find it hard to smile and talk so just shake my head >end up accidentally shaking my whole body >by now the rest of the gang has come out of the tent >i say the rest, but there's only 4 of them >one of the guys is missing >that must be this ben they were asking about >begin to wonder myself where he is >they're all staring at me weirdly and shivering even though it's summer >"where's ben?" I shout >angry steve whispers to weird al and weird al shouts back that he doesn't know >then he shouts at me "what have you done with Ben?" >if this is a game i don't get it > decide the only way to earn their trust is to impress them cont >> Anonymous 08/03/16 (Wed)22:56:04 No. 17989839 >>17989909 >>17989916>>17989966 >>18001083 >>18004979 >>18006100 >>18006871 >>18008096 >>17989794 >drop down onto all fours and do my spiderman crawl so they'll see how agile i am >they immediately scream and all run away >how weird >run after them >matching their pace is surprisingly easy, maybe cause the girls had short legs >follow weird al into the forest >the forest shields the moonlight so i can only see his silhouette >he turns to me >"Roger, did you see that thing? it looked human but its movements..." > can't think of anything to say so just nod >weird al keeps talking, saying how useful his Eyy Ar would be right now >no idea what he means >eventually meet up with the others >celebrations all round >finally they accept me >they must've been impressed by my spiderman crawl afterall >angry steve says they should try to find the car >"what about ben?" i muster in my best weird al impression to show Im one of many talents >"I hate to say it James, but i think he's gone" says the girl who's not mary-jane >who on earth is James? >suddenly mary-jane stops walking >"what is it Sam?" angry Steve asks >mary-jane whispers in his ear >he raises his arm and starts pointing at us while counting >"Ben's not here" he says very slowly.. >Weird Al replies "yeah?!" before suddenly standing up straight >he just screams "RUN" and takes off > everyone scatters >begin to think my new friends are a little weird >decide to go home Never did find out what happened to Ben, but that forest is full of ditches so he was probably just playing hide and seek. Still can't believe weird al and angry steve were playing in the water, my dad says the factory's chemicals mean that bathing in it will make your hair fall out for sure Anyway, that's my weird story

Greentext Stories

Anon's spoopy radio | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23 KB JPG in Georgia 05/05/17(Fri)00:39:05 No.17147862 >Driving along road >Long, late night haul. >Doing Miami to Charlotte up the 95, got on road about 8 pm. >Already late, I'm somewhere >Like to j------- to keep myself awake, works pretty well. >Radio is off, not CB or anything either, literally stock 1991 Integra tape deck. >Radio turns on. >"You shouldn't be doing that while driving." >Too concentrated on finishing. >"Don't tell me what to do." >Radio turns off, I c-- hard as f---. >Keep driving. >After my boner softens I realize how f------ spoopy that was.
Anonymous 23 KB JPG in Georgia 05/05/17(Fri)00:39:05 No.17147862 >Driving along road >Long, late night haul. >Doing Miami to Charlotte up the 95, got on road about 8 pm. >Already late, I'm somewhere >Like to j------- to keep myself awake, works pretty well. >Radio is off, not CB or anything either, literally stock 1991 Integra tape deck. >Radio turns on. >"You shouldn't be doing that while driving." >Too concentrated on finishing. >"Don't tell me what to do." >Radio turns off, I c-- hard as f---. >Keep driving. >After my boner softens I realize how f------ spoopy that was.

Greentext Stories

Anon has risky feels for his co worker, that so happens to be a pretty looking male how typical am I...

Anonymous 22 KB JPG 07/08/25(Tue)14:35:39 No.81755735 Fell for my cute co worker >be me, 22 yr old 6'3 gymbro with what would be described as a 'twunk' build for all you terminally online people. >have a boring regular IT job >just a regular day, however we had someone new joining us >don't really care or pay much attention >thats when, HE walked in.. >A fair skinned, brown beautiful eyes, rosey cheeks, slim twink build, pretty lips, basically any yaois dream bottom protagonist. >the whole team has to introduce themselves separately >literally sweating when its my turn >end up totally fumbling the introduction, with lots of stuttering, mixed words, just a total disaster all around.. >he tries to laugh at my awkwardness, but he just looks uncomfortable. >walk defeated back to my seat >end up trying to look at him and his body for the rest of the day >even try and creepshot him cus I was down bad that day So, here I am, with a throbbing boner writing my first ever greentext, I have never in my life been wanted to have gay sex b4, but with this boy its different, I always thought I was straight and have had girlfriends in the past, but I cant stop thinking about my co worker in lewd ways.. Advice?
Anonymous 22 KB JPG 07/08/25(Tue)14:35:39 No.81755735 Fell for my cute co worker >be me, 22 yr old 6'3 gymbro with what would be described as a 'twunk' build for all you terminally online people. >have a boring regular IT job >just a regular day, however we had someone new joining us >don't really care or pay much attention >thats when, HE walked in.. >A fair skinned, brown beautiful eyes, rosey cheeks, slim twink build, pretty lips, basically any yaois dream bottom protagonist. >the whole team has to introduce themselves separately >literally sweating when its my turn >end up totally fumbling the introduction, with lots of stuttering, mixed words, just a total disaster all around.. >he tries to laugh at my awkwardness, but he just looks uncomfortable. >walk defeated back to my seat >end up trying to look at him and his body for the rest of the day >even try and creepshot him cus I was down bad that day So, here I am, with a throbbing boner writing my first ever greentext, I have never in my life been wanted to have gay sex b4, but with this boy its different, I always thought I was straight and have had girlfriends in the past, but I cant stop thinking about my co worker in lewd ways.. Advice?

Greentext Stories

Anon plays the badguy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 31170860 >Be in a simunitions course >Am asked to play badguy 12 hr. ago 000 >I'm in the room with my instructor. He motions me over and says "Make em' work for it." >"What exactly do you mean sir?" >"Pretend you drank a gallon of PCP, k?" >"O-ok." >"Act crazy enough to make them focus on you, that way your buddies can give a nice coat of paint, got it?" >"Yessir" >Immediately start having /k/ related ideas pop into my head >Team of two busts into the room I'm hiding in. >I'm behind a giant box shaped like a cube in the center of a room filled with storage-type supplies >They are yelling at me to come out >stay hidden >as they come near my box I worm my way around to the other side of it, in the dark to stay hidden >They finally catch a glimpse of my left leg and start yelling at me to come out, hands up. >So...I do /k/ proud. >I hop up on the box in SpiderMan pose and scream "IT'S YOUR MOVE MR. LAW MAN!" >He starts laughing while trying to give me commands >His teammate who I recognize as our most worthless, out of shape, fat female officer is not laughing and still shrieking at me >I look at the guy and say "WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO? PUT HER FUPA OVER MY MOUTH AGAIN?!?!" (completely different but disgusting story.) >The guy knows what I'm talking about and starts laughing. Loses his composure and lets his guard down. >I then hear my two other Badguybros start to come out from their hiding spots >Lady officer fires wildly at me (me, the unarmed obvious decoy) >misses me enough times that I have time to jump on her like a Facehugger from Alien. >Dude Officer is still laughing but takes out the other bad guys >Our instructor is standing behind the glass wall losing his s--- >I'm basically face f------ the female officer through her face mask >I have taken her gun from her and am yelling, if I remember correctly, "I USED TO RIDE BULLS AND SLAY DRAGONS YOU DON'T SCARE MEEEEE!!!!" >Finally the guy officer reloads (he took his time) and pops me 7 times in the ass. 3 REPLIES Anonymous 31170875 12 hr. ago 000 >>31170468 You're doing God's work anon.
Anonymous 31170860 >Be in a simunitions course >Am asked to play badguy 12 hr. ago 000 >I'm in the room with my instructor. He motions me over and says "Make em' work for it." >"What exactly do you mean sir?" >"Pretend you drank a gallon of PCP, k?" >"O-ok." >"Act crazy enough to make them focus on you, that way your buddies can give a nice coat of paint, got it?" >"Yessir" >Immediately start having /k/ related ideas pop into my head >Team of two busts into the room I'm hiding in. >I'm behind a giant box shaped like a cube in the center of a room filled with storage-type supplies >They are yelling at me to come out >stay hidden >as they come near my box I worm my way around to the other side of it, in the dark to stay hidden >They finally catch a glimpse of my left leg and start yelling at me to come out, hands up. >So...I do /k/ proud. >I hop up on the box in SpiderMan pose and scream "IT'S YOUR MOVE MR. LAW MAN!" >He starts laughing while trying to give me commands >His teammate who I recognize as our most worthless, out of shape, fat female officer is not laughing and still shrieking at me >I look at the guy and say "WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO? PUT HER FUPA OVER MY MOUTH AGAIN?!?!" (completely different but disgusting story.) >The guy knows what I'm talking about and starts laughing. Loses his composure and lets his guard down. >I then hear my two other Badguybros start to come out from their hiding spots >Lady officer fires wildly at me (me, the unarmed obvious decoy) >misses me enough times that I have time to jump on her like a Facehugger from Alien. >Dude Officer is still laughing but takes out the other bad guys >Our instructor is standing behind the glass wall losing his s--- >I'm basically face f------ the female officer through her face mask >I have taken her gun from her and am yelling, if I remember correctly, "I USED TO RIDE BULLS AND SLAY DRAGONS YOU DON'T SCARE MEEEEE!!!!" >Finally the guy officer reloads (he took his time) and pops me 7 times in the ass. 3 REPLIES Anonymous 31170875 12 hr. ago 000 >>31170468 You're doing God's work anon.

Greentext Stories

Anon has an upcoming prostate exam | /r/Greentext

File: Tq3VV2VHKf8LApjoYA6wV0IU_large.jpg (29 KB, 570x556) Guys, are you scared that someone will turn you gay? Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)17:59:22 No.81789513 ► >Be me >Be straight >Have prostate exam today >Really scared that it will turn me gay >Family has a history of cancer so I make myself go anyway >Reach doctors office, sweating nervously >My bum already feels violated >Wait for my turn impatiently >Guy next to me looks calm as s--- >How can he be so calm tf.jpg >Lean over >He looks at me and laughs -Arent you scared?- -Nawww queen, im gayyy- >Feel my blood pressure rising >This is it >Ill have to leave my wife and start going to anime conventions in hopes of finding a guy without aids >Hyperventilate until my turn comes >Doctor finally calls my name gulp.mp4 >Enter the room >Doctor cheerfully tells me to drop my pants >I stay quiet >why am I erect >he must already be doing something to me on a psychological level >Pull down my pants trying to hide my schlong >Doctor bends me down and tells me that he will be quick >I bite my shirt collar >Balls start hurting as he inserts his hand inside >Feel myself on the verge of busting >No.. III stay strong. I cant turn gay here >Not like this >Doctor rummages through my colon like he is going through the pantry for jam without glasses >He hits the g spot and I bust all over his floor >I look at him horrified >He just turned me gay >He sighs -Man, two in a row...?- >Doctor wipes the floor in silence >Clicks pen and writes something down >Look nervously >Diagnosis: Bussy awakened >I start whimpering >He hands me a capri sun and says I have unlocked a side quest >New objective: Find boyfriend (0/1) >tfw side quests cant be skipped Guys dont get your prostate checked, its a trap
File: Tq3VV2VHKf8LApjoYA6wV0IU_large.jpg (29 KB, 570x556) Guys, are you scared that someone will turn you gay? Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)17:59:22 No.81789513 ► >Be me >Be straight >Have prostate exam today >Really scared that it will turn me gay >Family has a history of cancer so I make myself go anyway >Reach doctors office, sweating nervously >My bum already feels violated >Wait for my turn impatiently >Guy next to me looks calm as s--- >How can he be so calm tf.jpg >Lean over >He looks at me and laughs -Arent you scared?- -Nawww queen, im gayyy- >Feel my blood pressure rising >This is it >Ill have to leave my wife and start going to anime conventions in hopes of finding a guy without aids >Hyperventilate until my turn comes >Doctor finally calls my name gulp.mp4 >Enter the room >Doctor cheerfully tells me to drop my pants >I stay quiet >why am I erect >he must already be doing something to me on a psychological level >Pull down my pants trying to hide my schlong >Doctor bends me down and tells me that he will be quick >I bite my shirt collar >Balls start hurting as he inserts his hand inside >Feel myself on the verge of busting >No.. III stay strong. I cant turn gay here >Not like this >Doctor rummages through my colon like he is going through the pantry for jam without glasses >He hits the g spot and I bust all over his floor >I look at him horrified >He just turned me gay >He sighs -Man, two in a row...?- >Doctor wipes the floor in silence >Clicks pen and writes something down >Look nervously >Diagnosis: Bussy awakened >I start whimpering >He hands me a capri sun and says I have unlocked a side quest >New objective: Find boyfriend (0/1) >tfw side quests cant be skipped Guys dont get your prostate checked, its a trap

Greentext Stories

The Pirates of Brazil | /r/Greentext

07/07/25(Mon) 12:17:07 No.714780065 : Anonymous 100% DELÍCIA BRASIL >>714775114 (OP) # brasil delicia.jpg 31 KB JPG >Already got my new Nintendo Switch unblocked >Can play whatever f--- I want for free >B-but, you cant the onlin... >Dont care, I've never played nintendo games online. Singleplayer all the way since DS >Nothing happens because pirate is highly tolerated in my country >Pirte movies, pirate games, pirate mangas, pirate comics, pirate mahwas, pirate digital books >Do all that without getting a single virus or spam in my computer >Wins J--- seeth, piss and s--- their pants when they see s--- like this, because they are a bunch of robots with zero critical thinking. The avarage japanese boss can f--- his employee wifes if he wants, and the employee will smile and say >Well done bossu
07/07/25(Mon) 12:17:07 No.714780065 : Anonymous 100% DELÍCIA BRASIL >>714775114 (OP) # brasil delicia.jpg 31 KB JPG >Already got my new Nintendo Switch unblocked >Can play whatever f--- I want for free >B-but, you cant the onlin... >Dont care, I've never played nintendo games online. Singleplayer all the way since DS >Nothing happens because pirate is highly tolerated in my country >Pirte movies, pirate games, pirate mangas, pirate comics, pirate mahwas, pirate digital books >Do all that without getting a single virus or spam in my computer >Wins J--- seeth, piss and s--- their pants when they see s--- like this, because they are a bunch of robots with zero critical thinking. The avarage japanese boss can f--- his employee wifes if he wants, and the employee will smile and say >Well done bossu

Greentext Stories

Anon watched House | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 274 KB PNG >Dr. House 07/10/25(Thu)22:19:12 No.212573168 >Lives in an apartment ???
Anonymous 274 KB PNG >Dr. House 07/10/25(Thu)22:19:12 No.212573168 >Lives in an apartment ???

Greentext Stories

Anon has a job interview | /r/Greentext

codinginterview.png (702 KB, 1280x720) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)07:25:10 No.936952295 >job interview >new tech startup >"this interview will be a little different. i'm going to let you google the answers to the problems. after all, that's what you'll be doing if we hire you. we want to see how good you are at it" >breathe huge sigh of relief because data structures and algorithms are hard >"your first problem. here is a page from wikipedia. write a script that scrapes all the data from the second table and saves it as a JSON file." >f--- yeah, i thought they were gonna have me do DSA s--- >still don't know how to do it, Imao >google "how to download chatgpt" >google Al response pops up first >"redditor u/YOLO_SWAGGOT_69 says "to download chatgpt, kill yourself" >pull out gun (i have a concealed carry license) >interviewer screams >don't get job we need to do something about Al, guys. we can't sit by while it destroys our livelihoods like this.
codinginterview.png (702 KB, 1280x720) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 07/11/25(Fri)07:25:10 No.936952295 >job interview >new tech startup >"this interview will be a little different. i'm going to let you google the answers to the problems. after all, that's what you'll be doing if we hire you. we want to see how good you are at it" >breathe huge sigh of relief because data structures and algorithms are hard >"your first problem. here is a page from wikipedia. write a script that scrapes all the data from the second table and saves it as a JSON file." >f--- yeah, i thought they were gonna have me do DSA s--- >still don't know how to do it, Imao >google "how to download chatgpt" >google Al response pops up first >"redditor u/YOLO_SWAGGOT_69 says "to download chatgpt, kill yourself" >pull out gun (i have a concealed carry license) >interviewer screams >don't get job we need to do something about Al, guys. we can't sit by while it destroys our livelihoods like this.

Greentext Stories

Anon the homework helper | /r/Greentext

>At home, married, 15 y/o daughter. >I love her, but she's kind of a bitch sometimes >One day, at home >get call from school >"Hey anon, your daughter hasn't been doing her homework" >wat >I ain't raisin no slacker >Go to her room >She's on her computer >Ask her about her homework >"F--- homework, I'll just marry a rich guy" >Become enraged >"I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD, I CAN TAKE YOU OUT OF IT!" >"F--- off dad." >Take off my pants >already rock hard >Pelvic thrust over to her >She tries to back off, but it's too late >My d--- touches her >She begins to melt back into j--- >Gets absorbed into my testicles >Find my wife in the other room >She sees my throbbing c---, instantly wants to f--- >F--- her brains out, and fill her with the mother of all loads that is my daughter >Her stomach swells to a frightening size, then contracts as she pushes out a 15 y/o son. >He does his f------ homework.
>At home, married, 15 y/o daughter. >I love her, but she's kind of a bitch sometimes >One day, at home >get call from school >"Hey anon, your daughter hasn't been doing her homework" >wat >I ain't raisin no slacker >Go to her room >She's on her computer >Ask her about her homework >"F--- homework, I'll just marry a rich guy" >Become enraged >"I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS WORLD, I CAN TAKE YOU OUT OF IT!" >"F--- off dad." >Take off my pants >already rock hard >Pelvic thrust over to her >She tries to back off, but it's too late >My d--- touches her >She begins to melt back into j--- >Gets absorbed into my testicles >Find my wife in the other room >She sees my throbbing c---, instantly wants to f--- >F--- her brains out, and fill her with the mother of all loads that is my daughter >Her stomach swells to a frightening size, then contracts as she pushes out a 15 y/o son. >He does his f------ homework.

Greentext Stories

Anon found his fortress of solitude. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Dating a t----- T 15 KB JPG f----- me >Best sex I ever had >Be me 07/11/25(Fri)02:10:20 No.81787155 >Kind of a f-- >I am a Zoomer twink >Went and saw a t----- escort for the first time a couple months back >She's Colombian and very hot >Hung like a horse >She's a top >She dressed me up like a girl and >She kept messaging me afterwards >Asked if I was single >I said yes >Invited me around for free sex, didn't even charge me >Been hanging out at her apartment almost every night since >She's a total simp for me >We go on dates >She always pays >She buys me gifts >Other day she bought me new clothes and a new laptop >She sends me money randomly as well >She even does s--- like pull out my chair and open doors for me on dates >I get spoiled and treated like a woman in the relationship >I'm basically her boy princess >I'm absolutely loving it I don't know what the f--- women are complaining about. If this is how they get treated in relationships, why the f--- do they become man hating feminists? This is literally the best relationship I've ever had. I've never been treated so well in a relationship before. I legit want to be married to this t-----. 6 Replies View Thread
: Anonymous Dating a t----- T 15 KB JPG f----- me >Best sex I ever had >Be me 07/11/25(Fri)02:10:20 No.81787155 >Kind of a f-- >I am a Zoomer twink >Went and saw a t----- escort for the first time a couple months back >She's Colombian and very hot >Hung like a horse >She's a top >She dressed me up like a girl and >She kept messaging me afterwards >Asked if I was single >I said yes >Invited me around for free sex, didn't even charge me >Been hanging out at her apartment almost every night since >She's a total simp for me >We go on dates >She always pays >She buys me gifts >Other day she bought me new clothes and a new laptop >She sends me money randomly as well >She even does s--- like pull out my chair and open doors for me on dates >I get spoiled and treated like a woman in the relationship >I'm basically her boy princess >I'm absolutely loving it I don't know what the f--- women are complaining about. If this is how they get treated in relationships, why the f--- do they become man hating feminists? This is literally the best relationship I've ever had. I've never been treated so well in a relationship before. I legit want to be married to this t-----. 6 Replies View Thread

Greentext Stories

Anon schizophrenic gay fantasy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous men are so hot 14 KB JPG to c-- in you 06/17/25(Tue)00:10:35 No.40084102 why is the hottest thing in the world when a man wants to f--- you? >hearing his breathing get quicker >his eyes sort of glazing over >feeling his rock hard c--- in your hand >knowing he's desperate to be inside you >every cell in his body is telling him it turns me on so much, I love men <3
: Anonymous men are so hot 14 KB JPG to c-- in you 06/17/25(Tue)00:10:35 No.40084102 why is the hottest thing in the world when a man wants to f--- you? >hearing his breathing get quicker >his eyes sort of glazing over >feeling his rock hard c--- in your hand >knowing he's desperate to be inside you >every cell in his body is telling him it turns me on so much, I love men <3

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