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Greentext Stories - Images (45,717 results)

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Answer the fucking question | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 79 KB JPG FURFIL YOUR FURRY FANTASY TRY NOW [Advertise on 4chan] 11/29/24(Fri)13:35:00 No.928025579 How many times did you play with your peepee this week?
Anonymous 79 KB JPG FURFIL YOUR FURRY FANTASY TRY NOW [Advertise on 4chan] 11/29/24(Fri)13:35:00 No.928025579 How many times did you play with your peepee this week?

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anon goes to a funeral | /r/Greentext

Anonymous autistic brainded 37 KB JPG >mfw 01/09/19(Wed)14:52:54 No.50326103 >be me >be 20yo low iq redneck >at a funeral >come over to the mother to pay respects >say "congratulation" instead of condolences
Anonymous autistic brainded 37 KB JPG >mfw 01/09/19(Wed)14:52:54 No.50326103 >be me >be 20yo low iq redneck >at a funeral >come over to the mother to pay respects >say "congratulation" instead of condolences

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Enlightenment | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 12/05/22(Mon)11:23:51 No.71264467 >Anon asked the great philosopher: are small breasts better, or large? >The great philosopher replied: suppose you had $100 in bills, and $100 in coins, which would weigh more? >The coins! Anon said. >Ahh, the great philosopher responded, but which would have the greater value? >Anon was enlightened.
: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 12/05/22(Mon)11:23:51 No.71264467 >Anon asked the great philosopher: are small breasts better, or large? >The great philosopher replied: suppose you had $100 in bills, and $100 in coins, which would weigh more? >The coins! Anon said. >Ahh, the great philosopher responded, but which would have the greater value? >Anon was enlightened.

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Anon yearns for the field | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 218 KB JPG 04/08/25(Tue) 06:37:07 No.933594014 is there any reason at this point to follow the modern normie life path? >get degree >join rat race >waste life to enrich dying billionaires >hope whats left of society doesn't abandon me when im too old to work >die miserable im thinking of dropping or deprioritizing computer science and focusing on learning to live off the land as much as possible. that seems like a better "investment" into my future. i also just yearn for the fields. Anonymous >>933594014 (OP) # 04/08/25(Tue) 07:14:56 No.933595200 >is there any reason at this point to follow the modern normie life path? People with degrees earn way more on average than those without, despite the "eArN $500k/yr aNd F--- MoDeLs As A pLumMeR" propaganda. Education also offers perspective which is invaluable in broadening your understanding of the world. Which is why the Trump admin wants to abolish education in this country. More aware people can't be controlled as easily. >i also just yearn for the fields. I'm sure you do, Nig r. >>933595485 # >>933596801 # >>933597112 #
Anonymous 218 KB JPG 04/08/25(Tue) 06:37:07 No.933594014 is there any reason at this point to follow the modern normie life path? >get degree >join rat race >waste life to enrich dying billionaires >hope whats left of society doesn't abandon me when im too old to work >die miserable im thinking of dropping or deprioritizing computer science and focusing on learning to live off the land as much as possible. that seems like a better "investment" into my future. i also just yearn for the fields. Anonymous >>933594014 (OP) # 04/08/25(Tue) 07:14:56 No.933595200 >is there any reason at this point to follow the modern normie life path? People with degrees earn way more on average than those without, despite the "eArN $500k/yr aNd F--- MoDeLs As A pLumMeR" propaganda. Education also offers perspective which is invaluable in broadening your understanding of the world. Which is why the Trump admin wants to abolish education in this country. More aware people can't be controlled as easily. >i also just yearn for the fields. I'm sure you do, Nig r. >>933595485 # >>933596801 # >>933597112 #

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Anon shares his soap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)18:17:32 No.31080289 1590256343166.jpg (23 KB, 337x426) * google yandex bing iqdb wait >be in college >communal dorm >take shower and leave soap in the shower by accident >someone used my soap >happens again >s--- and piss in my bottle and leave it there >not long later... >"AAAAAAA YOU ARE, I'LL END YOUR LIFE AAA AAAA I KNOW WHO
Anonymous 04/17/24(Wed)18:17:32 No.31080289 1590256343166.jpg (23 KB, 337x426) * google yandex bing iqdb wait >be in college >communal dorm >take shower and leave soap in the shower by accident >someone used my soap >happens again >s--- and piss in my bottle and leave it there >not long later... >"AAAAAAA YOU ARE, I'LL END YOUR LIFE AAA AAAA I KNOW WHO

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Anon gets extorted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 18 KB JPG 08/31/24(Sat)09:10:58 No.31917540 >be/pol/ tier twitter groyper troll >start f------ with some lefty f-- who said some dumb s--- about us by replying with edgy memes >he combs through my account back several years and finds my old reddit account I posted a long time ago >he goes through that and finds my old facebook account i used an even longer time ago, only had one friend (my mom) but she still uses it >f--- >delete everything but he screenshotted it all >he's demanding $500 in bitcoin or he's gonna show them to my mom What do? 13 Replies 1 Image View Thread
Anonymous 18 KB JPG 08/31/24(Sat)09:10:58 No.31917540 >be/pol/ tier twitter groyper troll >start f------ with some lefty f-- who said some dumb s--- about us by replying with edgy memes >he combs through my account back several years and finds my old reddit account I posted a long time ago >he goes through that and finds my old facebook account i used an even longer time ago, only had one friend (my mom) but she still uses it >f--- >delete everything but he screenshotted it all >he's demanding $500 in bitcoin or he's gonna show them to my mom What do? 13 Replies 1 Image View Thread

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Anon doesn't like alcohol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue) 06:32:04 No.63618046 Why does alcohol even exist? >drink alcohol >stumble around all night until I realize its 5 am im drunk and cant sleep >knocking over beer bottles looking like an idiot >just drinking alone >smoke weed >just relax smoke a little bit more later on >just study stuff online or get comfy or order a pizza >makes video games comfy >best thing in the world if your bored >can mix it with a kratom for a really nice relaxing buzz The only thing I like alcohol is that I am a massive p---- shut in with anxiety and its the only way I can talk to people or want to go outside or not shake like a leaf covered in sweat 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread
: Anonymous 22 KB JPG 05/11/21(Tue) 06:32:04 No.63618046 Why does alcohol even exist? >drink alcohol >stumble around all night until I realize its 5 am im drunk and cant sleep >knocking over beer bottles looking like an idiot >just drinking alone >smoke weed >just relax smoke a little bit more later on >just study stuff online or get comfy or order a pizza >makes video games comfy >best thing in the world if your bored >can mix it with a kratom for a really nice relaxing buzz The only thing I like alcohol is that I am a massive p---- shut in with anxiety and its the only way I can talk to people or want to go outside or not shake like a leaf covered in sweat 4 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon learned the long way round | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 63 KB JPG 08/22/23(Tue)10:57:26 No.74475237 drop your retarded childhood stories: >be me, age 12 >hate showering more than anything >it feels gross and i hate getting wet >my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner >i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan >let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom >quickly wet my hair with sink >mom buys it, i get dindin >after a month she gets suspicious >realize i have to step up my game >now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap >also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist >she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet >come up with final version of my genius plan >i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo >then i'll rinse off in the sink >all while the shower runs i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode
Anonymous 63 KB JPG 08/22/23(Tue)10:57:26 No.74475237 drop your retarded childhood stories: >be me, age 12 >hate showering more than anything >it feels gross and i hate getting wet >my mom starts telling me that if i don't shower every day then i can't eat dinner >i want my dindin so i come up with a genius plan >let the shower run for 10-15 minutes while i sit in the bathroom >quickly wet my hair with sink >mom buys it, i get dindin >after a month she gets suspicious >realize i have to step up my game >now i run the shower and rub my arms/neck with hand soap >also run my hair under the shower so it's dripping wet and not just moist >she asks why i haven't asked her to buy shampoo yet >come up with final version of my genius plan >i'll stand next to the shower, let the water run, rub soap on my whole body and also use shampoo on my hair so it smells like shampoo >then i'll rinse off in the sink >all while the shower runs i did this for four years until i realized i was just showering on hard mode

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Self Defence 101 | /r/Greentext

File: 1330313884.jpg-(7 KB, 180x167, Aarons FaceGAC.jpg) Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:38 No.9610459 >Late last night >Have a fish tank with a light on >Kept seeing shadows in my peripheral vision >Heard sounds like deep breathing >Closet door is open even though I always shut it before I get into bed >"I'm not afraid of you f------" >Something replies >"We're not afraid of you either >NOPE >Home alone in the middle of nowhere >Would be dangerous outside so I have to stay inside >Can't move-frozen with fear >Remember what /x/ says when you're in this situation >Tore off clothes > Masturbated >Haven't been bothered since then. Thank you /x/ for saving my ass Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:41 No.9610474 You're welcome bro Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:43 No.9610484 >masturbated you've been practicing your whole life for this situation
File: 1330313884.jpg-(7 KB, 180x167, Aarons FaceGAC.jpg) Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:38 No.9610459 >Late last night >Have a fish tank with a light on >Kept seeing shadows in my peripheral vision >Heard sounds like deep breathing >Closet door is open even though I always shut it before I get into bed >"I'm not afraid of you f------" >Something replies >"We're not afraid of you either >NOPE >Home alone in the middle of nowhere >Would be dangerous outside so I have to stay inside >Can't move-frozen with fear >Remember what /x/ says when you're in this situation >Tore off clothes > Masturbated >Haven't been bothered since then. Thank you /x/ for saving my ass Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:41 No.9610474 You're welcome bro Anonymous 02/26/12(Sun)22:43 No.9610484 >masturbated you've been practicing your whole life for this situation

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Why 4chan is better than reddit | /r/Greentext

HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack
HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

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Anon buys a snickers | /r/Greentext

SNICKERS SNICKER SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS DILES SNICKERS SNICKEND SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERSMUKERS SNICKERS Candy Warehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold
SNICKERS SNICKER SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS DILES SNICKERS SNICKEND SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERS SNICKERSMUKERS SNICKERS Candy Warehouse 127952-03_snickers-candy-bars-48-piece-box.jpg 118 KB JPG >eat a display case of snickers i bought from costco >fingers and toes hurt like hell >hands won't stop shaking >entire body feels cold

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Anon hates Mega Bloks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 60 KB JPG >be me >7 10/13/20(Tue)22:13:13 No.837837049 >friend invites me over to play Legos >fuckyeah.jpg >go to his house after school >says he's gunna get the Legos >wait downstairs for him >comes down with a big plastic box >oh s---, theres gotta be a million Legos in there >dumps it on the ground >wait a second >blocks are huge >they're not Legos at all >fuckingMegabloks.gif >cry until my mom picks me up >no longer friends with him God I hate Mega Bloks so f------ much
: Anonymous 60 KB JPG >be me >7 10/13/20(Tue)22:13:13 No.837837049 >friend invites me over to play Legos >fuckyeah.jpg >go to his house after school >says he's gunna get the Legos >wait downstairs for him >comes down with a big plastic box >oh s---, theres gotta be a million Legos in there >dumps it on the ground >wait a second >blocks are huge >they're not Legos at all >fuckingMegabloks.gif >cry until my mom picks me up >no longer friends with him God I hate Mega Bloks so f------ much

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Your ride’s over, mutie. Time to die | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/19/22(Tue) 09:16:49 No.54466125 Frank Horrigan.gif 470 KB GIF >be russian conscript >finally penetrate one of the ukrainian biolabs >turn around the corner >face this what do, WHAT DO? >>54466169 #
Anonymous 07/19/22(Tue) 09:16:49 No.54466125 Frank Horrigan.gif 470 KB GIF >be russian conscript >finally penetrate one of the ukrainian biolabs >turn around the corner >face this what do, WHAT DO? >>54466169 #

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lego boba fett | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon) 17:09:22 No.672738982 >>672737964 (OP) # >Have a dream >I'm lego Boba Fett >Fall off cliff >Wake up in a f------ panicked sweat >Never play Lego Star Wars again
Anonymous 03/07/16(Mon) 17:09:22 No.672738982 >>672737964 (OP) # >Have a dream >I'm lego Boba Fett >Fall off cliff >Wake up in a f------ panicked sweat >Never play Lego Star Wars again

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Anon doesn’t think democracy works | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #
Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

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He had to do it to em, yeah | /r/Greentext

53 KB JPG >>178781346 # I always wanted Christopher Walken to do a spoken word bible. >now Lot and his daughters were in a cave >you gotta understand >they thought it was the end of the world >they thought they were the last people in earth >so they did what they had to do >Lot got drunk >and he f----- his daughters >he f----- babies into their wombs >little i----- babies >but they had to
53 KB JPG >>178781346 # I always wanted Christopher Walken to do a spoken word bible. >now Lot and his daughters were in a cave >you gotta understand >they thought it was the end of the world >they thought they were the last people in earth >so they did what they had to do >Lot got drunk >and he f----- his daughters >he f----- babies into their wombs >little i----- babies >but they had to

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