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Degenerate Autist forced to be around Degenerate Autists | /r/Greentext

Open (Hide) Napalm now Are most inflation people just f------ retarded? Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 16:02:25 Id: ade59c No. 61916 >>61923 >>61930 >>61935 >>61953 >>61992 >>62052 >>62068 >>62109 >>62826 Genuinely, I've never come across any other crowd so obtuse and cripplingly autistic until I find myself in an inflation-based Discord server. People are typing like they're f------ 12. Everyone has the same basic ass sense of humor and music/film tastes. I don't wanna see another glowing red eyes Shrek in 2025 or read about how they wanna inflate some obscure Transformers character. They make my 13 year old self seem like an absolute charisma magnet. Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 17:55:13 Id: 055cec No. 61923 >>61931 >>61916 >People are typing like they're f------ 12 >Everyone has the same basic ass sense of humor and music/film tastes. >They make my 13 year old self seem like an absolute charisma magnet. You just described any Twitter ""oomfie"". How coincidental they're all weird sex freaks, huh? 0 Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 20:49:05 Id: 3b73bd No. 61930 >>61916 Hard to say, the adult characters I get as Kisame are from H-Anime or Anime. I forgot Transformers, Shrek and even Pokemon exist. I play GTA San Andreas now. I just do breast expansion, monster, and pregnancy, and that's it.
Open (Hide) Napalm now Are most inflation people just f------ retarded? Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 16:02:25 Id: ade59c No. 61916 >>61923 >>61930 >>61935 >>61953 >>61992 >>62052 >>62068 >>62109 >>62826 Genuinely, I've never come across any other crowd so obtuse and cripplingly autistic until I find myself in an inflation-based Discord server. People are typing like they're f------ 12. Everyone has the same basic ass sense of humor and music/film tastes. I don't wanna see another glowing red eyes Shrek in 2025 or read about how they wanna inflate some obscure Transformers character. They make my 13 year old self seem like an absolute charisma magnet. Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 17:55:13 Id: 055cec No. 61923 >>61931 >>61916 >People are typing like they're f------ 12 >Everyone has the same basic ass sense of humor and music/film tastes. >They make my 13 year old self seem like an absolute charisma magnet. You just described any Twitter ""oomfie"". How coincidental they're all weird sex freaks, huh? 0 Anonymous 03/14/2025 (Fri) 20:49:05 Id: 3b73bd No. 61930 >>61916 Hard to say, the adult characters I get as Kisame are from H-Anime or Anime. I forgot Transformers, Shrek and even Pokemon exist. I play GTA San Andreas now. I just do breast expansion, monster, and pregnancy, and that's it.

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Anon watches a movie | /r/Greentext

I AINT EVEN MAD MON. got a green text here: >be me >classes done for the day >nothing else to do >turn on netflix >high as s--- >try to put on "The Expendables" >toofuckingcomplicated.png >try to restart it like 10 times since it was recently watched >keeps exiting >finally figure it out and start movie >watch movie for around 30 mins not knowing whats happening >mfw i was watching "From Paris With Love" for 30 minutes thinking it was "The Expendables"
I AINT EVEN MAD MON. got a green text here: >be me >classes done for the day >nothing else to do >turn on netflix >high as s--- >try to put on "The Expendables" >toofuckingcomplicated.png >try to restart it like 10 times since it was recently watched >keeps exiting >finally figure it out and start movie >watch movie for around 30 mins not knowing whats happening >mfw i was watching "From Paris With Love" for 30 minutes thinking it was "The Expendables"

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This one lives rent free in my head | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/05/15(Sat)23:25:38 No.28103985>>28104247 >>28104335 >>28105658 >>28105734 >>28106936 >>28110951 >live next to river >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean >likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one moming and look off our back deck >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staff >4 geese are hissing menacingly >KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! >Korean guy charges >geese charge →KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! > asian fighting noises >today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow >one goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today >he smashes its head > he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot >I start clapping >he turns as red as it is possible for an asian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house >funniest s--- I've ever seen. >he turms as red as it is possible for an asian to blush 404 the east will show no mercy today Lámalian 2011
Anonymous 12/05/15(Sat)23:25:38 No.28103985>>28104247 >>28104335 >>28105658 >>28105734 >>28106936 >>28110951 >live next to river >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean >likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one moming and look off our back deck >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staff >4 geese are hissing menacingly >KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! >Korean guy charges >geese charge →KKIIIIYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! > asian fighting noises >today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow >one goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today >he smashes its head > he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot >I start clapping >he turns as red as it is possible for an asian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house >funniest s--- I've ever seen. >he turms as red as it is possible for an asian to blush 404 the east will show no mercy today Lámalian 2011

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The Future of Entertainment | /r/Greentext

File: 483912570_167296420334634(...).jpg (310 KB, 1414x2000) WHAT'S BROKEN CAN STILL BREAK YOU ID SERIES 'BLACK WHRROR SEASON 7 NETFLIX APRIL 10 Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:04:04 No.210032468 ) >>210032484 >>210032704 >>210032771 >>210032824 >>210032848 >>210032917 >>210033244 >greetings, anon. I am Space Dildo Mommy Cristin and I am equipped with a cybercock so I can breed your bussy while you catch up with all 6 episodes of Black Mirror Season 7 via your pathetic little torrent client and make sure to watch my episode first, you little s---. Now bend over. >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:09:49 No.210032554 File: mpv-shot0001.jpg (242 KB, 2369x1080) >>210033237 >>210034577 Stealing my p---- is a red f------ line. >>210032518 ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:12:21 No.210032602 >WOT IF UR DOG WAS A SAMSUNG ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:20:33 No.210032723 >>210032795 >>210032865 >>210032899 >>210033671 >>210033823 File: file.png (289 KB, 659x220) Just a reminder. ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:29:01 No.210032848 >>210032468 (OP) >WOT IF YA MUM WAS AN ELECTRIC KETTLE? MENTAL INNIT? ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:34:41 No.210032917 >>210033136 >>210033823 >>210032468 (OP). Not even gonna bother watching this p------------ show again ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)18:15:41 No.210033422 >oi m8 >wot if netflix slop... >but in da fucha?!!!!!! >f-----' mental innit?! ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)20:29:10 No.210035000 >wot if technology le evil: the show made by technology worshipping redditors
File: 483912570_167296420334634(...).jpg (310 KB, 1414x2000) WHAT'S BROKEN CAN STILL BREAK YOU ID SERIES 'BLACK WHRROR SEASON 7 NETFLIX APRIL 10 Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:04:04 No.210032468 ) >>210032484 >>210032704 >>210032771 >>210032824 >>210032848 >>210032917 >>210033244 >greetings, anon. I am Space Dildo Mommy Cristin and I am equipped with a cybercock so I can breed your bussy while you catch up with all 6 episodes of Black Mirror Season 7 via your pathetic little torrent client and make sure to watch my episode first, you little s---. Now bend over. >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab >Black.Mirror.S07E01.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:09:49 No.210032554 File: mpv-shot0001.jpg (242 KB, 2369x1080) >>210033237 >>210034577 Stealing my p---- is a red f------ line. >>210032518 ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:12:21 No.210032602 >WOT IF UR DOG WAS A SAMSUNG ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:20:33 No.210032723 >>210032795 >>210032865 >>210032899 >>210033671 >>210033823 File: file.png (289 KB, 659x220) Just a reminder. ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:29:01 No.210032848 >>210032468 (OP) >WOT IF YA MUM WAS AN ELECTRIC KETTLE? MENTAL INNIT? ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)17:34:41 No.210032917 >>210033136 >>210033823 >>210032468 (OP). Not even gonna bother watching this p------------ show again ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)18:15:41 No.210033422 >oi m8 >wot if netflix slop... >but in da fucha?!!!!!! >f-----' mental innit?! ☐ Anonymous 04/10/25(Thu)20:29:10 No.210035000 >wot if technology le evil: the show made by technology worshipping redditors

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Anon wins with teamwork | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 94 KB JPG 04/01/21(Thu)16:58:15 No.851065730 >Senior year >Perfect plan >Me and my friend >We start fighting in the men showers >Nobody stoping us >Kick, punch and push each other all the way to the womens showers >Burst inside >Keep fighting pretending we didn't even realize >Naked girls come rushing and grab us to stop The only reason we got in trouble was for fighting, nobody cared we got a good look at all the girls. 7 Replies/3 Images View Thread
: Anonymous 94 KB JPG 04/01/21(Thu)16:58:15 No.851065730 >Senior year >Perfect plan >Me and my friend >We start fighting in the men showers >Nobody stoping us >Kick, punch and push each other all the way to the womens showers >Burst inside >Keep fighting pretending we didn't even realize >Naked girls come rushing and grab us to stop The only reason we got in trouble was for fighting, nobody cared we got a good look at all the girls. 7 Replies/3 Images View Thread

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Anon is mentally ill | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:17:13 No.855244018 27 KB JPG drawn on it >be me >be schizophrenic >mostly under control >on meds, learned live with hallucinations >have an imaginary friend to help cope >name is Bill, is a plastic fork with a face >talking to Bill helps keep me grounded >be last week >see three women with a string >know the string is my life >f--- they're gonna cut my life >don't wanna die, know it's not real but still scared >f--- did I take my meds? >they go to cut the string, I yell no >they cut it, I feel my life slipping >they keep cutting, the pieces they cut off turn into little pizzas >like those bagel bites >w--.jpeg >Bill will help calm me down >turn to Bill, f---, it's not Bill >just a fork with a face, can't calm me down >cut my life into pizzas >this is my plastic fork
Anonymous 05/24/21(Mon)22:17:13 No.855244018 27 KB JPG drawn on it >be me >be schizophrenic >mostly under control >on meds, learned live with hallucinations >have an imaginary friend to help cope >name is Bill, is a plastic fork with a face >talking to Bill helps keep me grounded >be last week >see three women with a string >know the string is my life >f--- they're gonna cut my life >don't wanna die, know it's not real but still scared >f--- did I take my meds? >they go to cut the string, I yell no >they cut it, I feel my life slipping >they keep cutting, the pieces they cut off turn into little pizzas >like those bagel bites >w--.jpeg >Bill will help calm me down >turn to Bill, f---, it's not Bill >just a fork with a face, can't calm me down >cut my life into pizzas >this is my plastic fork

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Anon in the 80s | /r/Greentext

Being a ninja isn't cool anymore Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)21:07:00 No.913102938 >Be me >Wayward kid of the 80s >Dad's an alcoholic who hates me and calls me queer >Mom's a w---- who's snorts cocaine off of men's asses. >Outside all the time >No friends. >Suddenly meet new friends >Tell me they think I'm kickass and invite me to their club. >Suspicious but don't wanna go home. >Follow them anyway >Big warehouse with bitchin' arcade games, billiard tables, and some kid smoking a cigar. >Other kids think I'm cool. >Weeks pass >Dad still hates me, Mom still a w----. >Go to clubhouse >Friends tell me this adult came by and wants to speak to me and my friends. >Guy says we're cool and gives us rad ninja outfits and weapons >Fuckyeah.jpg >Guy trains us then tells us to go stand out in an alleyway to guard it. >About to tell my friend that he saved my life >Friend then eviscerated by a big ass turtle with two swords. >FML as another pizza-smelling turtle smacks me in the head with a stick.
Being a ninja isn't cool anymore Anonymous 01/28/24(Sun)21:07:00 No.913102938 >Be me >Wayward kid of the 80s >Dad's an alcoholic who hates me and calls me queer >Mom's a w---- who's snorts cocaine off of men's asses. >Outside all the time >No friends. >Suddenly meet new friends >Tell me they think I'm kickass and invite me to their club. >Suspicious but don't wanna go home. >Follow them anyway >Big warehouse with bitchin' arcade games, billiard tables, and some kid smoking a cigar. >Other kids think I'm cool. >Weeks pass >Dad still hates me, Mom still a w----. >Go to clubhouse >Friends tell me this adult came by and wants to speak to me and my friends. >Guy says we're cool and gives us rad ninja outfits and weapons >Fuckyeah.jpg >Guy trains us then tells us to go stand out in an alleyway to guard it. >About to tell my friend that he saved my life >Friend then eviscerated by a big ass turtle with two swords. >FML as another pizza-smelling turtle smacks me in the head with a stick.

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Anon wonders... | /r/Greentext

12m (9/15 14:25) - 906104363 5 Re - 1 Img JPG 55KB (1100 × 619) what.jpg Moralfagging > A 20 year old dude dates a 17 year old girl > They're into each other > Gets found out > Ends up in jail > Suddenly he's a monster, he's worse than people who murdered some child's mom or dad and ended up in the same prison > There are 40 year old men f------ 18 year old girls on a daily basis at the same time and normalfags don't give a s--- Why are normies so mentally retarded?
12m (9/15 14:25) - 906104363 5 Re - 1 Img JPG 55KB (1100 × 619) what.jpg Moralfagging > A 20 year old dude dates a 17 year old girl > They're into each other > Gets found out > Ends up in jail > Suddenly he's a monster, he's worse than people who murdered some child's mom or dad and ended up in the same prison > There are 40 year old men f------ 18 year old girls on a daily basis at the same time and normalfags don't give a s--- Why are normies so mentally retarded?

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If you know, you know | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>5124938 # 06/06/23(Tue)10:52:45 No.5125919 >driving home on your micro honda >listening citypop >cute wife and kids waiting home >drive into tunnel >look at the back mirror, see madman on a bicycle >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX!!!" >literally s--- myself f------ scary, man >>5139095 #
Anonymous >>5124938 # 06/06/23(Tue)10:52:45 No.5125919 >driving home on your micro honda >listening citypop >cute wife and kids waiting home >drive into tunnel >look at the back mirror, see madman on a bicycle >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, SEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEX!!!" >literally s--- myself f------ scary, man >>5139095 #

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Anon has a shitty family | /r/Greentext

Anonymous I CAN'T F------ TAKE IT 05/08/24(Wed) 20:01:04 No.77422098 >be me >Straight man >I have a sister >She gets engaged to this guy >He drops by my place SERIOUSLY IM AT MY LIMIT randomly with some beer to get 154 KB JPG black out. to know me better and I agree since he is marrying my sister. >Everything is normal until I >I wake up the next day, my butt is in agony >I call the police, go to the hospital and get a r--- kit done >Police arrest my sister's fiance >R--- kit confirms he did r--- me with DNA >He smears me in trial, but the jury finds him guilty from all the evidence that he did it >He is sentenced to 4 years >This was almost 2 year ago >Sister no longer talks to me >Whole family thinks I'm gay now >The general belief in my family is that I'm a closeted gay man that got her fiance drunk and had sex with him and regretted it the next morning (despite me testing positive for roofies and other signs of r---) because that was his defense in trial >No one believes my story in my family, they all believe him >He is up for parole soon >My mother asked me not to challenge the parole because my sister still wants to marry him and I "did enough to him". I'm going to challenge that parole. F--- my family.
Anonymous I CAN'T F------ TAKE IT 05/08/24(Wed) 20:01:04 No.77422098 >be me >Straight man >I have a sister >She gets engaged to this guy >He drops by my place SERIOUSLY IM AT MY LIMIT randomly with some beer to get 154 KB JPG black out. to know me better and I agree since he is marrying my sister. >Everything is normal until I >I wake up the next day, my butt is in agony >I call the police, go to the hospital and get a r--- kit done >Police arrest my sister's fiance >R--- kit confirms he did r--- me with DNA >He smears me in trial, but the jury finds him guilty from all the evidence that he did it >He is sentenced to 4 years >This was almost 2 year ago >Sister no longer talks to me >Whole family thinks I'm gay now >The general belief in my family is that I'm a closeted gay man that got her fiance drunk and had sex with him and regretted it the next morning (despite me testing positive for roofies and other signs of r---) because that was his defense in trial >No one believes my story in my family, they all believe him >He is up for parole soon >My mother asked me not to challenge the parole because my sister still wants to marry him and I "did enough to him". I'm going to challenge that parole. F--- my family.

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Anon got cougar disease | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Cooooooooom 23 KB JPG boy' 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying >suddenly she grabs my face and leans close > wispers 'come for mommy baby > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life
Anonymous Cooooooooom 23 KB JPG boy' 03/23/21(Tue)08:07:07 No.62876647 > be me, 23 > f------ this older girl, she's around 30 > getbusycoomingorgetbusydying >suddenly she grabs my face and leans close > wispers 'come for mommy baby > sit there frozen in complete shock > j--- the biggest load of my life Guys I am no longer attracted to girls my age, this bitch has given me a mommy fetish and ruined my life

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Average Elden Ring Boss | /r/Greentext

>Sprouts angel wings and flies back up >10,000 attack combo >Summons snakeman archers everywhere Elden Ring Iron Golem Anonymous Tue 06 Aug 2024 06:12:39 No.684764672 Quoted By: >>684764934 >>684764993 >>684765112 >>684765830 >>684766543 >>684766676 >>684768750 >>684769114 >>684769398 >>684769574 >>684770650 >>684770846 >>684771016 >>684771730 >>684773810 >>684776753 >>684777152 >>684779208 >>684780030 >>684780617 >>>684780728 >>684782272 >>684783919 >>684784094>>684785650 >>684787717 >>684789116 >Opens with a triple windblade attack >Rolls around the boss arena and slams the ground ten times in a row before kneeling for two (2) seconds and doing it all over again >Knock him off the cliff >Phase 2 cutscene triggers >Ahhh, theest truly are Chosen. Mine apologies. I should not have held back my true power, it did thoust a disservicest... >EPIC BOMBASTIC CHORUS KICKS IN >I AM IRON GOLEM, AXE OF THE GREAT LORD GWYN. AND YOU. SHALL KNOW. THE HURRICANE! >Megaton nuclear wind bomb AOE attack FEEL MY WRROTH >Dies >Heheh... Lady Gwynevere, I failed thee, completely and utterly... >Foul Undead... You willst be destroyed... Caught in the clutch by almighty Ornstein... and hammered by Smough... >Drops: Remembrance of the Iron Golem: "There once was a boy who wanted to be big and strong. 'Wait a while,' said the wise goddess, 'First imbibe the metals of life, and become a godling fit to guard a fortress! He drank deeply of the sacred iron and waited, but the rust took him, and he despaired >Use to gain 8,000 Souls"
>Sprouts angel wings and flies back up >10,000 attack combo >Summons snakeman archers everywhere Elden Ring Iron Golem Anonymous Tue 06 Aug 2024 06:12:39 No.684764672 Quoted By: >>684764934 >>684764993 >>684765112 >>684765830 >>684766543 >>684766676 >>684768750 >>684769114 >>684769398 >>684769574 >>684770650 >>684770846 >>684771016 >>684771730 >>684773810 >>684776753 >>684777152 >>684779208 >>684780030 >>684780617 >>>684780728 >>684782272 >>684783919 >>684784094>>684785650 >>684787717 >>684789116 >Opens with a triple windblade attack >Rolls around the boss arena and slams the ground ten times in a row before kneeling for two (2) seconds and doing it all over again >Knock him off the cliff >Phase 2 cutscene triggers >Ahhh, theest truly are Chosen. Mine apologies. I should not have held back my true power, it did thoust a disservicest... >EPIC BOMBASTIC CHORUS KICKS IN >I AM IRON GOLEM, AXE OF THE GREAT LORD GWYN. AND YOU. SHALL KNOW. THE HURRICANE! >Megaton nuclear wind bomb AOE attack FEEL MY WRROTH >Dies >Heheh... Lady Gwynevere, I failed thee, completely and utterly... >Foul Undead... You willst be destroyed... Caught in the clutch by almighty Ornstein... and hammered by Smough... >Drops: Remembrance of the Iron Golem: "There once was a boy who wanted to be big and strong. 'Wait a while,' said the wise goddess, 'First imbibe the metals of life, and become a godling fit to guard a fortress! He drank deeply of the sacred iron and waited, but the rust took him, and he despaired >Use to gain 8,000 Souls"

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In light recent events | /r/Greentext

< Rip ❤ + : >be me >4chan shutdown >no where to post greentext >mfw M ☑ | =T Τ T 17▾ 1/1
< Rip ❤ + : >be me >4chan shutdown >no where to post greentext >mfw M ☑ | =T Τ T 17▾ 1/1

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Anon is the dumb dumb mister | /r/Greentext

98 KB JPG sure? Shoot." >Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago >Get startled by phone ringing >It's one of my players >Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" >Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" >OhGod HeKilled Someone.gif>Me: "Uh, >Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." >NaniTheFuck.mp3 >Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" >Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister! Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." >Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." >Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." >Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." >Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" >I've Never Been Happier ToBeCalledADumb Dumb.jpg >Me: "You ready for a story about... (DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)...the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" >Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) >I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. >Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him. >I am the dumb dumb mister.
98 KB JPG sure? Shoot." >Be me, sleep deprived DM, half an hour ago >Get startled by phone ringing >It's one of my players >Me: "Dude, it's midnight, you good?" >Friend: "Yeah yeah, sorry if I woke you. Could I ask for a favor?" >OhGod HeKilled Someone.gif>Me: "Uh, >Friend: "My daughter can't sleep, could you tell a quick story over speakerphone? She loves listening to the recordings of our sessions before bed, but I left my laptop at the office so I can't play them." >NaniTheFuck.mp3 >Me: "She listens to us to fall asleep?" >Friend: "Yeah, but she really likes your plot and NPC acting bits. She calls you 'dumb dumb mister! Guess Dungeon Master is a bit hard for a preschooler." >Me: "Wow...well, if it will help her sleep, then sure." >Friend: "Thank you! Okay, give me a sec to head back to her room." (pause) "Okay, you're on speaker." >Me: "Hey, [daughters name], it's uncle Anon." >Daughter: (Happy gasp) "Dumb dumb Mister!" >I've Never Been Happier ToBeCalledADumb Dumb.jpg >Me: "You ready for a story about... (DM IMPROV SKILLS ENGAGE)...the time your daddy and his friends went deep into a cursed temple to save a frost dragon egg?" >Daughter: (Incomprehensible happy squealing noises) >I then proceed to spend nearly 20 min spitballing a story over the phone for the most fascinated little girl until she eventually fell asleep. Friend thanks me for the help and says he'll see me on game night. >Lay down in bed, actually feel content and comfortable for once. I should have thanked him. >I am the dumb dumb mister.

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Anon doesn't find it very funny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 21(Mon)18:02:0 No.15768 How do I cook this massive Wal Mart steak? 2.4 MB JPG Anonymous >>15768003 (OP) # 03/15/21(Mon)18:06:28 No.15768042 >massive - mass - Massachusetts >Wal Mart - Wal - Walled >Cook - crook- crooked >steak - stake- wood- woods I know this is your way of telling me that I was wrong and I don't find it very funny. Maybe you won't find it funny anymore now that I let everyone see what you're doing. I'm not afraid of you anymore and I have nothing left to lose. >>15768066 # >>15768117 # >>15768172 # >>15768585 # @massive.horses >>15768978 # >>15769096 # >>15769102 # >>15769399 #
: Anonymous 21(Mon)18:02:0 No.15768 How do I cook this massive Wal Mart steak? 2.4 MB JPG Anonymous >>15768003 (OP) # 03/15/21(Mon)18:06:28 No.15768042 >massive - mass - Massachusetts >Wal Mart - Wal - Walled >Cook - crook- crooked >steak - stake- wood- woods I know this is your way of telling me that I was wrong and I don't find it very funny. Maybe you won't find it funny anymore now that I let everyone see what you're doing. I'm not afraid of you anymore and I have nothing left to lose. >>15768066 # >>15768117 # >>15768172 # >>15768585 # @massive.horses >>15768978 # >>15769096 # >>15769102 # >>15769399 #

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anon casts a spell | /r/Greentext

File: Screen Shot 2017-12-12 at(...).png (459 KB, 1236x768) haha Anonymous 04/21/18 (Sat) 08:01:49 No.44836617 >Be me Haha, now that you are me, that must mean I am you, have fun with my s----- life toodaloooooo00
File: Screen Shot 2017-12-12 at(...).png (459 KB, 1236x768) haha Anonymous 04/21/18 (Sat) 08:01:49 No.44836617 >Be me Haha, now that you are me, that must mean I am you, have fun with my s----- life toodaloooooo00

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