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Greentext Stories - Images

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"If it works, it's not stupid" | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: JZhKdmQD) 01/22/13(Tue)15:51:04 No.452958905 Replies: >>452960968 >>452962 >be 17 >at party >super drunk >girl that I know likes me is there >we start dancing and grinding >she asks me to come upstairs >not thinking, surewhynot >get in a room >she pulls down my pants >forgot I still had my boner hiding apparatus on from school >she sees it >runs downstairs >tells everyone at school f--- my life Anonymous (ID: c8HyS7Tp) 01/22/13(Tue)16:01:35 No.452960968 Replies: >>452962246 >>452958905 A.... what? Explain. Anonymous (ID: JZhKdmQD) 01/22/13(Tue)16:07:59 No.452962246 Replies: >>452962647 >>45296299 >>452971242 >>452971640 >>452971829 >>452972351 >>452972537 >>452972845 >>452972869 >>452973742 >>45297; >>452960968 A tampon put into my anus with the string tied around my penis, it keeps it from sticking up.
Anonymous (ID: JZhKdmQD) 01/22/13(Tue)15:51:04 No.452958905 Replies: >>452960968 >>452962 >be 17 >at party >super drunk >girl that I know likes me is there >we start dancing and grinding >she asks me to come upstairs >not thinking, surewhynot >get in a room >she pulls down my pants >forgot I still had my boner hiding apparatus on from school >she sees it >runs downstairs >tells everyone at school f--- my life Anonymous (ID: c8HyS7Tp) 01/22/13(Tue)16:01:35 No.452960968 Replies: >>452962246 >>452958905 A.... what? Explain. Anonymous (ID: JZhKdmQD) 01/22/13(Tue)16:07:59 No.452962246 Replies: >>452962647 >>45296299 >>452971242 >>452971640 >>452971829 >>452972351 >>452972537 >>452972845 >>452972869 >>452973742 >>45297; >>452960968 A tampon put into my anus with the string tied around my penis, it keeps it from sticking up.

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The Winter Soldier | /r/Greentext

SWEET JESUS >Check Papa Box >F------ Luger tucked next to an SS cap >Luger is loaded First Time Squeezing the Trigger? Anonymous 12/09/14(Tue)1 >Winter 2011 >Grandpa had passed 4 months ago >Left me his WW2 stuff in a rusty box >Sleeping soundly >Hear a crash downstairs >Someone had broken in my window >Have no firearms >F--- f-- >Slap hat on and run downstairs stark nekkid > Spot the f----- going through my entertainment center >Aim and scream first German words that pop into my head "PANZERKAMPFWAGEN SCHADENFREUDE" >Fire exe until out of rounds >He bolted for the window, literally screaming and crying something about Nazi's supposed to be extinct. >Definitely hit him a few times since there was blood on the carpet. >Call cops, guy gets arrested, asked about Nazi stuff, tell story, cops love it. >Nekkid Nazi becomes neighborhood story. And that was how my dead Nazi Grandpa encouraged me to fire a gun for the first time and save my playstation.
SWEET JESUS >Check Papa Box >F------ Luger tucked next to an SS cap >Luger is loaded First Time Squeezing the Trigger? Anonymous 12/09/14(Tue)1 >Winter 2011 >Grandpa had passed 4 months ago >Left me his WW2 stuff in a rusty box >Sleeping soundly >Hear a crash downstairs >Someone had broken in my window >Have no firearms >F--- f-- >Slap hat on and run downstairs stark nekkid > Spot the f----- going through my entertainment center >Aim and scream first German words that pop into my head "PANZERKAMPFWAGEN SCHADENFREUDE" >Fire exe until out of rounds >He bolted for the window, literally screaming and crying something about Nazi's supposed to be extinct. >Definitely hit him a few times since there was blood on the carpet. >Call cops, guy gets arrested, asked about Nazi stuff, tell story, cops love it. >Nekkid Nazi becomes neighborhood story. And that was how my dead Nazi Grandpa encouraged me to fire a gun for the first time and save my playstation.

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Eternal revolution! | /r/Greentext

25 KB JPEG > American leftist party > look inside Trotskyism EVERY F------ TIME
25 KB JPEG > American leftist party > look inside Trotskyism EVERY F------ TIME

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Might as well upload the last greentext I saved. | /r/Greentext

>be me >using my pc >feel the need to pee >go pee >theseus gnomes sprint into my room at lightspeed and replace every part of my pc, keyboard, monitor with identical parts >come back >it's not my pc anymore i cant prove it but i know theyre f------ doing it. how do i stop them? what do you guys do?
>be me >using my pc >feel the need to pee >go pee >theseus gnomes sprint into my room at lightspeed and replace every part of my pc, keyboard, monitor with identical parts >come back >it's not my pc anymore i cant prove it but i know theyre f------ doing it. how do i stop them? what do you guys do?

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A Tale As Old As Time | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/16/11(Fri)12:31 No.29717036 File1316190712.jpg-(16 KB, 289x295, YES.jpg) invited to the wedding >aunt asks who's getting married >fluttershy and appljack >aunt says "They can't get married" >cousin is distraught "why not!?" > aunt says "because girls can't marry other girls" >cousin is angry "who says?" >aunt "god says" >cousin "then I'm going to worship satan" f------ awesome, lemme tell you speaking of Gay Marriage I have a story for you all >be with family last weekend > little 5 year old cousin playing with MLP toys in the living room >announces we are all
Anonymous 09/16/11(Fri)12:31 No.29717036 File1316190712.jpg-(16 KB, 289x295, YES.jpg) invited to the wedding >aunt asks who's getting married >fluttershy and appljack >aunt says "They can't get married" >cousin is distraught "why not!?" > aunt says "because girls can't marry other girls" >cousin is angry "who says?" >aunt "god says" >cousin "then I'm going to worship satan" f------ awesome, lemme tell you speaking of Gay Marriage I have a story for you all >be with family last weekend > little 5 year old cousin playing with MLP toys in the living room >announces we are all

Greentext Stories
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To Be Highly Regarded | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)15:52:48 No.68301213 >buying a new rug >cashier says "you must have a long hallway" >think that was a sexual innuendo >"only 5 inches actually" why am I so f------ stupid 384 KB PNG
Anonymous 04/20/22(Wed)15:52:48 No.68301213 >buying a new rug >cashier says "you must have a long hallway" >think that was a sexual innuendo >"only 5 inches actually" why am I so f------ stupid 384 KB PNG

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Anon ponders. | /r/Greentext

1642137052504.jpg 229 KB JPG >there was a super attractive girl in your class >was the most popular girl at school and probably the most attractive girl you've ever seen >you come back from summer and she's not there, doesn't appear the entire school year >another year later, your teacher tells you that she's "learning from home until her health recovers" >asks you to deliver her papers and help her out with anything >you get to her house >this is what she used to look like and what she looks like now >she asks if you would like to come inside for a bit and talk for a bit, since she hasn't seen anyone in ages How do you respond? 14 Replies / 5 Images : Anonymous 65 KB PNG View Thread 07/16/22(Sat) 08:02:54 No.69433442 >Ah, another lardophile to hunt down. >See you in gas chamber, degen! >You will know when see me. >I'll be one in fancy uniform, laughing while-GURK!
1642137052504.jpg 229 KB JPG >there was a super attractive girl in your class >was the most popular girl at school and probably the most attractive girl you've ever seen >you come back from summer and she's not there, doesn't appear the entire school year >another year later, your teacher tells you that she's "learning from home until her health recovers" >asks you to deliver her papers and help her out with anything >you get to her house >this is what she used to look like and what she looks like now >she asks if you would like to come inside for a bit and talk for a bit, since she hasn't seen anyone in ages How do you respond? 14 Replies / 5 Images : Anonymous 65 KB PNG View Thread 07/16/22(Sat) 08:02:54 No.69433442 >Ah, another lardophile to hunt down. >See you in gas chamber, degen! >You will know when see me. >I'll be one in fancy uniform, laughing while-GURK!

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Yes it's that easy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/11/25(Fri)17:45:19 No.708007254 141 KB JPG >add hot white woman to game >concurrent players increase by over 100,000 Is it really that easy?
Anonymous 04/11/25(Fri)17:45:19 No.708007254 141 KB JPG >add hot white woman to game >concurrent players increase by over 100,000 Is it really that easy?

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Bird meets Chick | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/28/17(Fri)10:56:37 No.36618253 file.png 1.77 MB PNG >japanese zoo puts cute anime versions of animals in the habitats >one penguin becomes so obsessed with the anime girl that he stops eating because he doesn't want to leave her 59 Replies/20 Images View Thread
Anonymous 04/28/17(Fri)10:56:37 No.36618253 file.png 1.77 MB PNG >japanese zoo puts cute anime versions of animals in the habitats >one penguin becomes so obsessed with the anime girl that he stops eating because he doesn't want to leave her 59 Replies/20 Images View Thread

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Those Who Can't, Teach | /r/Greentext

File: iceberg.jpg (35 KB, 804x526) Anonymous 05/31/18(Thu)09:53:16 No.770192823 >be me, a dad >showing my 7 year old son compilation of bizarre danny devito scenes from always sunny >get to the one with frank in a hospital gown >frank spins around and you see his gross ass and he says, "really lets your ass breathe" >son says, "your butt can breathe?" >i say, "Oh ya. It is difficult but you can breathe out of your butt." >my wife glares at me but laughs >son laughs but asks if I'm being serious, i say yes while cracking up >fast forward to later and i'm brushing my teeth in the bathroom >look over at bath tub and see son's ass in the air, but his head is under water >kid is drowning himself while trying to breathe out of his a------
File: iceberg.jpg (35 KB, 804x526) Anonymous 05/31/18(Thu)09:53:16 No.770192823 >be me, a dad >showing my 7 year old son compilation of bizarre danny devito scenes from always sunny >get to the one with frank in a hospital gown >frank spins around and you see his gross ass and he says, "really lets your ass breathe" >son says, "your butt can breathe?" >i say, "Oh ya. It is difficult but you can breathe out of your butt." >my wife glares at me but laughs >son laughs but asks if I'm being serious, i say yes while cracking up >fast forward to later and i'm brushing my teeth in the bathroom >look over at bath tub and see son's ass in the air, but his head is under water >kid is drowning himself while trying to breathe out of his a------

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Ear Disabled | /r/Greentext

File: 1342889711888.jpg (41 KB, 447x425) F--- Anonymous (ID: b2GUC90E) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:24:46 No. 546835062 >>546835350 >>546835545 >>546835658 >>546835802 >>546835957 >>546835989 >>546836321 >>546836827 >>546837392 >>546838392 ITT Deaf people problems >I learned farting makes a sound at 20 Was with gf (not my first one) >At dinner in a very nice place >Waiter asking me for my order and my a------ needs to flex >Waiter gives look of disgust and terror Itwaswet.PNG >Gf signs me asking if I s--- myself >I have no clue what's going on >my girlfriend had to explain to me with the waiter right there that I just farted and that they make noise and that this particular one made everyone in the room stop talking >Mfw ive farted in front of everyone I know and nobody has ever said anything to me I excused myself to the bathroom and never talked to her again Anonymous (ID: JW6J5EFe) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:27:24 No.546835350 File: 1374525874783.jpg (47 KB, 321x374) >>546835062 (OP) this has got to be the greatest thing i ever read Anonymous (ID: qq9pYIE8) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:28:33 No.546835464 >>546836217 >>5468363 File: I stole this laptop.jpg (85 KB, 425x282)
File: 1342889711888.jpg (41 KB, 447x425) F--- Anonymous (ID: b2GUC90E) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:24:46 No. 546835062 >>546835350 >>546835545 >>546835658 >>546835802 >>546835957 >>546835989 >>546836321 >>546836827 >>546837392 >>546838392 ITT Deaf people problems >I learned farting makes a sound at 20 Was with gf (not my first one) >At dinner in a very nice place >Waiter asking me for my order and my a------ needs to flex >Waiter gives look of disgust and terror Itwaswet.PNG >Gf signs me asking if I s--- myself >I have no clue what's going on >my girlfriend had to explain to me with the waiter right there that I just farted and that they make noise and that this particular one made everyone in the room stop talking >Mfw ive farted in front of everyone I know and nobody has ever said anything to me I excused myself to the bathroom and never talked to her again Anonymous (ID: JW6J5EFe) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:27:24 No.546835350 File: 1374525874783.jpg (47 KB, 321x374) >>546835062 (OP) this has got to be the greatest thing i ever read Anonymous (ID: qq9pYIE8) 05/17/14(Sat) 13:28:33 No.546835464 >>546836217 >>5468363 File: I stole this laptop.jpg (85 KB, 425x282)

Greentext Stories
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Small Justice | /r/Greentext

.png (59 KB, 658x662) No.43232832 Anonymous 19 min. ago >send d--- pic to qt3.14 >she calls me a sicko and blocks me >oh well i'm used to it >next day cops at my door >she reported me to the police for distributing CP >they show me the pic i sent her >i tell them it's my c--- >they don't believe me >i have to pull down my pants >they give each other a sad look and apologize for bothering me
.png (59 KB, 658x662) No.43232832 Anonymous 19 min. ago >send d--- pic to qt3.14 >she calls me a sicko and blocks me >oh well i'm used to it >next day cops at my door >she reported me to the police for distributing CP >they show me the pic i sent her >i tell them it's my c--- >they don't believe me >i have to pull down my pants >they give each other a sad look and apologize for bothering me

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Right in the feels | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 815056689 124.0 kB PNG 1시간 전 ... Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >I asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now. 3 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY
Anonymous | 815056689 124.0 kB PNG 1시간 전 ... Hey /b/ I need to tell you guys a story >Be me >Be working at suicide hotline >Have access to donation logs >Go through them from time to time between calls >Notice a man has made a donation of $17.50 every month, same day, for a couple years >Check to see if there's a note with the donations >They all read something like as follows "To Jason, from dad. I miss you every day" >I asked about it, turns out his son killed himself when he was really young >That money is his son's allowance Don't think that people won't miss you, or people will forget you, you are loved anon even if you don't feel it right now. 3 REPLIES 3 IMAGES REPLY

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Oldie but goodie greentexts moment, anon and his sister | /r/Greentext

File: 6360064590944441237692192).jpg (125 KB, 1536x974) Anonymous 09/04/17 (Mon)00:10:07 No.744134587 ► >Be me >Mom died right when I was born >Grew up with my dad's family because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed on me before I was born >Growing up, I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister >Be about 17 or 18 >Notice that my sister turned out to be a hottie >Accidentally found a video she recorded of herself >I thought she was so gorgeous that I watched it twice >I would have watched it a lot more, but some crazy things went down and I had to leave home >At this point, I'm totally lusting after my hot sister >She was also having some serious trouble with the law >Actually was in custody when I left home >Convince one of my friends to pick her up with me >Tell him I'll pay him gas money after we get her >We get to where she's locked up and bail her out >I just wanted to take her right then and there >It seemed like she had feelings for me too >She kissed me when my friend and I picked her up >It definitely wasn't a kiss a sisterly kiss >Friend confessed to me he wanted to get with my sister >Not much happened between my sister and me for a while >At this point, the three of us were all wanted and had to keep moving around to avoid getting caught >The sexual tension between my sister and my friend is getting a bit ridiculous now >While we're on the run I get hurt badly and almost die >My sister gives me another not so sisterly kiss during my recovery >After this we spend a bit of time apart >During our separation, I got extremely religious and try to not think of her >Convinced myself I was completely over her >My sister and I go sailing a year later, but it was nothing romantic >She's in the hottest bikini I've ever seen though >All of my old feelings come rushing back >She ends up getting with the friend I bailed her out with >The three of us and some more of our friends eventually all end up at a party >Sister and I go outside alone >Kill the mood by telling her that I have to go find and face our father, Darth Vader
File: 6360064590944441237692192).jpg (125 KB, 1536x974) Anonymous 09/04/17 (Mon)00:10:07 No.744134587 ► >Be me >Mom died right when I was born >Grew up with my dad's family because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed on me before I was born >Growing up, I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister >Be about 17 or 18 >Notice that my sister turned out to be a hottie >Accidentally found a video she recorded of herself >I thought she was so gorgeous that I watched it twice >I would have watched it a lot more, but some crazy things went down and I had to leave home >At this point, I'm totally lusting after my hot sister >She was also having some serious trouble with the law >Actually was in custody when I left home >Convince one of my friends to pick her up with me >Tell him I'll pay him gas money after we get her >We get to where she's locked up and bail her out >I just wanted to take her right then and there >It seemed like she had feelings for me too >She kissed me when my friend and I picked her up >It definitely wasn't a kiss a sisterly kiss >Friend confessed to me he wanted to get with my sister >Not much happened between my sister and me for a while >At this point, the three of us were all wanted and had to keep moving around to avoid getting caught >The sexual tension between my sister and my friend is getting a bit ridiculous now >While we're on the run I get hurt badly and almost die >My sister gives me another not so sisterly kiss during my recovery >After this we spend a bit of time apart >During our separation, I got extremely religious and try to not think of her >Convinced myself I was completely over her >My sister and I go sailing a year later, but it was nothing romantic >She's in the hottest bikini I've ever seen though >All of my old feelings come rushing back >She ends up getting with the friend I bailed her out with >The three of us and some more of our friends eventually all end up at a party >Sister and I go outside alone >Kill the mood by telling her that I have to go find and face our father, Darth Vader

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Anon makes the hard but sweetest choice | /r/Greentext

File: 37656478392876.jpg (332 KB, 1536x2048) Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)13:35:09 No.898589946 [Reply] >>898590978 >>898591063 Shower Food Review 42: Giant Sour Gummy Worm - This was the most shame I've ever felt in the shower. I'm worried even God won't forgive me for this one. My ex girlfriend is moving out soon and she saw me eating this. The look on her face said "I made the right choice." 7/10 + 3 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)14:01:02 No.898590978 File: nefag.jpg (5 KB, 250x233) Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)14:03:17 No.898591063 >>898589946 (OP) >>898589946 (OP) those shower tiles take me back about 20 years my grandmas house had the same exact tiles :( Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)14:14:09 No.898591556 It's crazy that you have a full sized window in your shower. I also have one just like that and I thought I was the only house that had a retard design it's bathroom with a f------ full sized window in the god damned shower.
File: 37656478392876.jpg (332 KB, 1536x2048) Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)13:35:09 No.898589946 [Reply] >>898590978 >>898591063 Shower Food Review 42: Giant Sour Gummy Worm - This was the most shame I've ever felt in the shower. I'm worried even God won't forgive me for this one. My ex girlfriend is moving out soon and she saw me eating this. The look on her face said "I made the right choice." 7/10 + 3 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)14:01:02 No.898590978 File: nefag.jpg (5 KB, 250x233) Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)14:03:17 No.898591063 >>898589946 (OP) >>898589946 (OP) those shower tiles take me back about 20 years my grandmas house had the same exact tiles :( Anonymous 05/02/23(Tue)14:14:09 No.898591556 It's crazy that you have a full sized window in your shower. I also have one just like that and I thought I was the only house that had a retard design it's bathroom with a f------ full sized window in the god damned shower.

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Anon has hit rock bottom and started digging | /r/Greentext

File: belgian blue.jpg (222 KB, 1000x666) Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)18:02:15 No.909352323 >>909352739 >>909354251 >>909354590 I just gooned to belgian blue butts >> Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)18:15:18 No.909352739 >>909352323 (OP) Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)18:55:48 No.909354251 >>909352323 (OP) mmmmmm Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)19:04:13 No.909354590 >>909352323 (OP) Mmm need that fat ass to shart in my face <3 Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)19:12:21 No.909354816 File: mx80vvw6icf91.jpg (68 KB, 1200x675)
File: belgian blue.jpg (222 KB, 1000x666) Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)18:02:15 No.909352323 >>909352739 >>909354251 >>909354590 I just gooned to belgian blue butts >> Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)18:15:18 No.909352739 >>909352323 (OP) Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)18:55:48 No.909354251 >>909352323 (OP) mmmmmm Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)19:04:13 No.909354590 >>909352323 (OP) Mmm need that fat ass to shart in my face <3 Anonymous 11/15/23(Wed)19:12:21 No.909354816 File: mx80vvw6icf91.jpg (68 KB, 1200x675)

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