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Anon it's to much of a Coward to buy a family pizza for himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 930 KB WEBM >Be me 01/16/24(Tue)06:57:33 No.20107420 >Go to KFC >Read the order off my phone in the hopes the cashier will think my wife wrote it for me and I'm picking up dinner for the family (I'm a 36 yo khv) >cashiers fw How do you guys trick fast food/liquor stores etc into thinking you aren't just ordering for yourself?
Anonymous 930 KB WEBM >Be me 01/16/24(Tue)06:57:33 No.20107420 >Go to KFC >Read the order off my phone in the hopes the cashier will think my wife wrote it for me and I'm picking up dinner for the family (I'm a 36 yo khv) >cashiers fw How do you guys trick fast food/liquor stores etc into thinking you aren't just ordering for yourself?

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Marx’s addiction to Opium | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/25(Sun)12:24:20 No. 17597004 >Called religion "opium of the masses" >Was himself addicted to opium What did Marx mean by this? 181 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/23/25(Sun)12:24:20 No. 17597004 >Called religion "opium of the masses" >Was himself addicted to opium What did Marx mean by this? 181 KB JPG

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Anon appears to live in a cave or something. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:41:11 No.60543538 File: IMAG0096.jpg (3.17 MB, 3024x5376) >>60543573 >>60543582 >>60543586 >>60543636 >>60543642 >>60544281 >>60545439 >>60545577 >>60545594 >>60545951 >>60546812 >>60549189 I watching movies on the laptop on the right to the one on the left has a broken screen from where I dropped it. Is a lot of clutter but I've been digging out the basement to expand it. Does not look like much but it's comfy Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:42:46 No.60543573 ►>>60543600 >>60543652 >>60543692 File: WHAT THE F--- IS THAT THING.jpg (7 KB, 240x240) Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:37:10 No.60546812 >>60543538 >>60543538 Is... Is that an onion in a cage? DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL JUST AN ONION IN A CAGE Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:45:32 No.60543636 >>60543817 File: 1385257075710.jpg (78 KB, 832x584) >>60543538 >Toshiba laptop Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:43:12 No.60543582 File: 1430596314919.jpg (441 KB, 1688x1704) >>60543538 Jesus Christ... Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:43:19 No.60543586 >>60544251 >>60543538 Do the homeowners know you live there? Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:33:05 No.60545041 >>60542742 (OP) Jesus christ OP are you a fckin cave troll? The f--- is wrong with your hand? >>60545149 Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:38:11 No.60543458 File: LOL TEARS.jpg (49 KB, 331x319) >op is literally an ogre that lives in a dungeon Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:18:14 No.60544631 File: 1343557433065.jpg (15 KB, 252x300) Good thread Would read again Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:52:05 No.60545594 >>60543538 Why is there an onion hanging in a cage?
Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:41:11 No.60543538 File: IMAG0096.jpg (3.17 MB, 3024x5376) >>60543573 >>60543582 >>60543586 >>60543636 >>60543642 >>60544281 >>60545439 >>60545577 >>60545594 >>60545951 >>60546812 >>60549189 I watching movies on the laptop on the right to the one on the left has a broken screen from where I dropped it. Is a lot of clutter but I've been digging out the basement to expand it. Does not look like much but it's comfy Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:42:46 No.60543573 ►>>60543600 >>60543652 >>60543692 File: WHAT THE F--- IS THAT THING.jpg (7 KB, 240x240) Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)18:37:10 No.60546812 >>60543538 >>60543538 Is... Is that an onion in a cage? DESPITE ALL MY RAGE I AM STILL JUST AN ONION IN A CAGE Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:45:32 No.60543636 >>60543817 File: 1385257075710.jpg (78 KB, 832x584) >>60543538 >Toshiba laptop Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:43:12 No.60543582 File: 1430596314919.jpg (441 KB, 1688x1704) >>60543538 Jesus Christ... Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:43:19 No.60543586 >>60544251 >>60543538 Do the homeowners know you live there? Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:33:05 No.60545041 >>60542742 (OP) Jesus christ OP are you a fckin cave troll? The f--- is wrong with your hand? >>60545149 Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)16:38:11 No.60543458 File: LOL TEARS.jpg (49 KB, 331x319) >op is literally an ogre that lives in a dungeon Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:18:14 No.60544631 File: 1343557433065.jpg (15 KB, 252x300) Good thread Would read again Anonymous 09/01/15(Tue)17:52:05 No.60545594 >>60543538 Why is there an onion hanging in a cage?

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Anon hates 4chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous COAL ALARM 03/23/25(Sun)14:23:18 No.80725752 >go on actual 4chan >Child p--- >Racist p--- >Furry p--- >Regular p--- >Something funny >Racist p--- 869 KB GIF >More f------ p--- >go on r/greentext >Something funny >Something funny >Something funny >Reposted 5 year old slop >Something funny >Something funny What's the point of even going here anymore?
Anonymous COAL ALARM 03/23/25(Sun)14:23:18 No.80725752 >go on actual 4chan >Child p--- >Racist p--- >Furry p--- >Regular p--- >Something funny >Racist p--- 869 KB GIF >More f------ p--- >go on r/greentext >Something funny >Something funny >Something funny >Reposted 5 year old slop >Something funny >Something funny What's the point of even going here anymore?

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Boyscout experience | /r/Greentext

229 KB JPG >Be me >9 years old >Going to cub scouts >Scout leader says "Today we're gonna learn how to fold the American flag" >Stresses that "Letting the flag touch the ground is a bad omen and we'll have to burn it" >Am handed the flag >slips out of my hand, and falls flat on the floor. >Scout leader assures me it's okay and we can try with another flag >We burn the flag I dropped at the end of the meeting >The next day I'm in school and the teacher is told to turn the tv on to the news. >We watch as the second plane hits the World Trade Center >I think back to my scout leader saying "Letting the flag touch the ground is a bad omen". And that's the story of how for the next 6 months I thought I caused 9/11
229 KB JPG >Be me >9 years old >Going to cub scouts >Scout leader says "Today we're gonna learn how to fold the American flag" >Stresses that "Letting the flag touch the ground is a bad omen and we'll have to burn it" >Am handed the flag >slips out of my hand, and falls flat on the floor. >Scout leader assures me it's okay and we can try with another flag >We burn the flag I dropped at the end of the meeting >The next day I'm in school and the teacher is told to turn the tv on to the news. >We watch as the second plane hits the World Trade Center >I think back to my scout leader saying "Letting the flag touch the ground is a bad omen". And that's the story of how for the next 6 months I thought I caused 9/11

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Taking back my love | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 000 SPACE RANGER LIGHTYEAR 27 KB JPG starts laughing 03/23/25(Sun)08:55:20 No.80722924 >decide to prank my wife >leave a note on the table while she's sleeping >"I don't feel anything for you anymore, I'm leaving." >hide under the bed, waiting for her reaction >she wakes up, reads the note and >called someone and said: "finally got rid of that ugly idiot, wanna hang out?" >changes clothes and leaves >mfw still under the bed >crawl out seething >see a note on top of the table >"your cologne stink, i knew you were here, i went to buy detergent to wash your shirt, I'll be back in 20 minues" She went too far, she actually hurt my feelings. It's time to ruin her body with a child. Its her own fault.
: Anonymous 000 SPACE RANGER LIGHTYEAR 27 KB JPG starts laughing 03/23/25(Sun)08:55:20 No.80722924 >decide to prank my wife >leave a note on the table while she's sleeping >"I don't feel anything for you anymore, I'm leaving." >hide under the bed, waiting for her reaction >she wakes up, reads the note and >called someone and said: "finally got rid of that ugly idiot, wanna hang out?" >changes clothes and leaves >mfw still under the bed >crawl out seething >see a note on top of the table >"your cologne stink, i knew you were here, i went to buy detergent to wash your shirt, I'll be back in 20 minues" She went too far, she actually hurt my feelings. It's time to ruin her body with a child. Its her own fault.

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Anon dates a Turkish girl | /r/Greentext

File: Gk1wAV2WIAAhgat.jpg (67 KB, 680x601) FELL FOR IT AGAIN AWARD Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat)22:02:49 No.80721003 [Reply] ► >be me >e-date turkish girl on discord >great for a month >it's mutual and we both agree to encourage each other to date irl >it's all good but >I notice her picture are not identical; her race, rize, eye color changing >she keeps asking for personal information >I confront her and now she's barely responding >tell her I'm fine if it's a catfish, but just tell the truth and send a selfie with a specific date and message on a piece of paper and we can keep being lovey dovey >dosent do it >confirms My suspicion >asks about some green card visa s--- hours later >can't believe I fell for it >stew for about a couple of hours >download Grindr and spend the night having BAY SUTTGEX with a hung daddy until my loneliness dissipates Try it, anons. It will work for you.
File: Gk1wAV2WIAAhgat.jpg (67 KB, 680x601) FELL FOR IT AGAIN AWARD Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat)22:02:49 No.80721003 [Reply] ► >be me >e-date turkish girl on discord >great for a month >it's mutual and we both agree to encourage each other to date irl >it's all good but >I notice her picture are not identical; her race, rize, eye color changing >she keeps asking for personal information >I confront her and now she's barely responding >tell her I'm fine if it's a catfish, but just tell the truth and send a selfie with a specific date and message on a piece of paper and we can keep being lovey dovey >dosent do it >confirms My suspicion >asks about some green card visa s--- hours later >can't believe I fell for it >stew for about a couple of hours >download Grindr and spend the night having BAY SUTTGEX with a hung daddy until my loneliness dissipates Try it, anons. It will work for you.

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Give me your reasons | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/23/25(Sun)03:30:40 No.80720063 >lie to sound interesting >pressed on lie >panic, block them instantly, and unfriend them anyone else? 6 KB JPG
Anonymous 03/23/25(Sun)03:30:40 No.80720063 >lie to sound interesting >pressed on lie >panic, block them instantly, and unfriend them anyone else? 6 KB JPG

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Can she make a grilled cheese? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/14/25(Fri)18:41:17 No.705337102 DO choose one.jpg 89 KB JPG White man, you must make a choice, will you pick: >Tanned highway mexican Or >Pale city mexican Choose wisely.
Anonymous 03/14/25(Fri)18:41:17 No.705337102 DO choose one.jpg 89 KB JPG White man, you must make a choice, will you pick: >Tanned highway mexican Or >Pale city mexican Choose wisely.

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Staring at the sun | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 11:14:39 No.80711300 >be me >think "goonettes" are fake and woman "perverts" come no where close to male gooners >decide to read on what their fetishes and fantasies are >oh 4 KB PNG Is there a reason why they're like 20 times more f----- up and horny then male gooners because I might be a bit disgusted by foids now permanently
Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 11:14:39 No.80711300 >be me >think "goonettes" are fake and woman "perverts" come no where close to male gooners >decide to read on what their fetishes and fantasies are >oh 4 KB PNG Is there a reason why they're like 20 times more f----- up and horny then male gooners because I might be a bit disgusted by foids now permanently

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Harry Pomegranate and The Chamber of Incisions | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 09/16/20(Wed)23:11:57 No.17059503 >>17059546 >>17059609 >>17059665 File: 1587894210677.jpg (103 KB, 733x486) >I consider myself a patient man, Harry. I overlooked that time you kept sneaking trans students polyjuice potion containing their own hair, making them turn back into their normal selves, despite the suicides. >I was even willing to turn a blind eye to you casting memory charms on post op hufflepuffs, because the look on their faces when you showed them a mirror was frankly hilarious, but this fine you've gone too far. >you have to understand that sectumsempra is dangerous magic, Harry, and I can't just let you go round telling Hufflepuffs that it's an instant transition spell if they point it at their crotch. >I hope you understand the gravity of this situation, and see why I'm only awarding you 42 points
☐ Anonymous 09/16/20(Wed)23:11:57 No.17059503 >>17059546 >>17059609 >>17059665 File: 1587894210677.jpg (103 KB, 733x486) >I consider myself a patient man, Harry. I overlooked that time you kept sneaking trans students polyjuice potion containing their own hair, making them turn back into their normal selves, despite the suicides. >I was even willing to turn a blind eye to you casting memory charms on post op hufflepuffs, because the look on their faces when you showed them a mirror was frankly hilarious, but this fine you've gone too far. >you have to understand that sectumsempra is dangerous magic, Harry, and I can't just let you go round telling Hufflepuffs that it's an instant transition spell if they point it at their crotch. >I hope you understand the gravity of this situation, and see why I'm only awarding you 42 points

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Through the darkest nights | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 29 KB JPG 03/22/25(Sat) 13:37:30 No.80712028 >invite my friends over >friend brings his girlfriend >everything is chill for a while >she starts talking politics with my other friend (white) >he eventually says "let a n---- chill" >she storms out of the room >comes back a few minutes later >asks me "why are you all so okay with saying the n word?" >forces my friend (her bf) to leave I just wanted to have a chill night with my friends :<
Anonymous 29 KB JPG 03/22/25(Sat) 13:37:30 No.80712028 >invite my friends over >friend brings his girlfriend >everything is chill for a while >she starts talking politics with my other friend (white) >he eventually says "let a n---- chill" >she storms out of the room >comes back a few minutes later >asks me "why are you all so okay with saying the n word?" >forces my friend (her bf) to leave I just wanted to have a chill night with my friends :<

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Standards too high | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 25 KB PNG 07/09/20(Thu)13:38:32 No.136268792 >she says she likes video games >invite her over and connect laptop to TV >put on 'The history of Wii Sports Resort Golf speedrunning records' by SummoningSalt >she makes an excuse and leaves after a few minutes guess she didnt like video games then >>136268843 # >>136268932 # >>136269374 # >>136269415 # >>136269454 # >>136271391 # >>136271754 # >>136273682 # >>136277870 # Anonymous07/09/20(Thu)18:46:36 No.136277870 >>136268792 # autism 0.136268843
Anonymous 25 KB PNG 07/09/20(Thu)13:38:32 No.136268792 >she says she likes video games >invite her over and connect laptop to TV >put on 'The history of Wii Sports Resort Golf speedrunning records' by SummoningSalt >she makes an excuse and leaves after a few minutes guess she didnt like video games then >>136268843 # >>136268932 # >>136269374 # >>136269415 # >>136269454 # >>136271391 # >>136271754 # >>136273682 # >>136277870 # Anonymous07/09/20(Thu)18:46:36 No.136277870 >>136268792 # autism 0.136268843

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He's got me there | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 91 KB JPG 01/22/18(Mon)23:25:22 No.757706136 Supposedly the moon landing is not a hoax. Can you present facts on why it's real? Not just "because le government said it happened, so it must be real" Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)23:29:53 No.757706430 >>757706136 (OP) # You can look through a telescope and see tracks the moon rovers made. >>757706737# Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)23:34:10 No.757706737 >>757706430 # NASA hand-drew those on every telescope.
: Anonymous 91 KB JPG 01/22/18(Mon)23:25:22 No.757706136 Supposedly the moon landing is not a hoax. Can you present facts on why it's real? Not just "because le government said it happened, so it must be real" Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)23:29:53 No.757706430 >>757706136 (OP) # You can look through a telescope and see tracks the moon rovers made. >>757706737# Anonymous 01/22/18(Mon)23:34:10 No.757706737 >>757706430 # NASA hand-drew those on every telescope.

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He's soo cool | /r/Greentext

217 KB PNG >my father goes to the doctor for knee pain >the doctor tells him he needs knee replacement >the doctor and my father go way back to childhood. >his name is Bartholomew, but went by "B". >dr Bartholomew performed the knee replacement surgery for my father >now my father tells people he has the B's knees
217 KB PNG >my father goes to the doctor for knee pain >the doctor tells him he needs knee replacement >the doctor and my father go way back to childhood. >his name is Bartholomew, but went by "B". >dr Bartholomew performed the knee replacement surgery for my father >now my father tells people he has the B's knees

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“Owari da” | /r/Greentext

File: 1742605941914985.png (135 KB, 446x418) ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 12:34:22 No.705990793 >>705990876 >>705991053 >>705991365 >>705991873 >>705993404 >>705993719 >>705993867 >>705994525 >>705996342 >>705997259 >>706000648 >>706002136 >>706002279 >>706005514 >>706005834 >>706006030 >>706007143 >>706010173 >>706013658 >>706013813 >I JUST KILLED A GAME STUDIO WITH MY FREAKING ZEST HAHA! Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 12:35:57 No.705990876 ►>>705991454 >>705990793 (OP) Will China fix Ubisoft once they buy the company for 30 bucks? Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 13:16:03 No.705993404 >>705990793 (OP) >I JUST KILLED A GAME STUDIO why stop there? kill the whole publisher ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 14:08:52 No. 705996505 >>705996845 Ubisoft aint going away incel, these threads are ridiculous. ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 14:17:02 No.705997008 ► What's funny about Yasuke is that there are so many trying to tell his story in recent years and it keeps flopping or failing. The anime was a big flop, just like this will be. The guy from Black Panther was trying to get a Yasuke movie off the ground but then he died of butt cancer. I think I've heard of several other actors trying to make a movie happen, like Michael B Jordan and John Boyega, but nothing has come of it. Yasuke is not as popular as they think he is >> Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 15:39:26 No.706001617 ► I'd like to think Ubisoft knew they were f-----, so the devteam spent the last year going over-the-top with the zesty s---. >Hon hon! >> Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 15:49:05 No.706002067 >>706002429 >>706009167 >>706013331 How does yasuke know japanese? He's a portuguese slave >> ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 17:16:49 No.706006223 File: assasins creed.webm (2.66 MB, 1920x940)-[Close] >>706006730 ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 14:14:27 No.705996845 >>705999248 >>706002695 >>706007157 >>706008463 File: file.png (35 KB, 741x428) Ubisoft Entertainment SA €12.15 +79.35% -46.69 5Y Mar 21, 6:00:00 PM UTC+1 EUR EPA Disclaimer >Game has microtransactions out of the ass >Can spend cash to unlock op gear >Can spend money to unlock the revealed map >Music consists of Hip hop and 'Ching chong wa wa NINJA!' I sincerely hope this kills Ubislop ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 17:37:31 No.706007143 ► File: 1708400513861711.png (494 KB, 1023x763) 1D 5D 1M 6M 100 80 60 40 20 YTD 1Y 5Y MAX 0 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 >>705996505 Brother, this is not the graph of a company that is "not going away". Their stock is down almost 10% today, a day after their huge release that is supposed to save the company. They have well over two billion dollars of debt. Ubisoft is dead. >>705990793 (OP). >MFW he looked directly at the camera with a smirk and said 'l really am the Assassins Creed: Shadows' ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 18:52:30 No.706010173 ► >>705990793 (OP). I think people will buy this game when more people find out Yasuke sucks d--- and eats c--.
File: 1742605941914985.png (135 KB, 446x418) ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 12:34:22 No.705990793 >>705990876 >>705991053 >>705991365 >>705991873 >>705993404 >>705993719 >>705993867 >>705994525 >>705996342 >>705997259 >>706000648 >>706002136 >>706002279 >>706005514 >>706005834 >>706006030 >>706007143 >>706010173 >>706013658 >>706013813 >I JUST KILLED A GAME STUDIO WITH MY FREAKING ZEST HAHA! Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 12:35:57 No.705990876 ►>>705991454 >>705990793 (OP) Will China fix Ubisoft once they buy the company for 30 bucks? Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 13:16:03 No.705993404 >>705990793 (OP) >I JUST KILLED A GAME STUDIO why stop there? kill the whole publisher ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 14:08:52 No. 705996505 >>705996845 Ubisoft aint going away incel, these threads are ridiculous. ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 14:17:02 No.705997008 ► What's funny about Yasuke is that there are so many trying to tell his story in recent years and it keeps flopping or failing. The anime was a big flop, just like this will be. The guy from Black Panther was trying to get a Yasuke movie off the ground but then he died of butt cancer. I think I've heard of several other actors trying to make a movie happen, like Michael B Jordan and John Boyega, but nothing has come of it. Yasuke is not as popular as they think he is >> Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 15:39:26 No.706001617 ► I'd like to think Ubisoft knew they were f-----, so the devteam spent the last year going over-the-top with the zesty s---. >Hon hon! >> Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 15:49:05 No.706002067 >>706002429 >>706009167 >>706013331 How does yasuke know japanese? He's a portuguese slave >> ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 17:16:49 No.706006223 File: assasins creed.webm (2.66 MB, 1920x940)-[Close] >>706006730 ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 14:14:27 No.705996845 >>705999248 >>706002695 >>706007157 >>706008463 File: file.png (35 KB, 741x428) Ubisoft Entertainment SA €12.15 +79.35% -46.69 5Y Mar 21, 6:00:00 PM UTC+1 EUR EPA Disclaimer >Game has microtransactions out of the ass >Can spend cash to unlock op gear >Can spend money to unlock the revealed map >Music consists of Hip hop and 'Ching chong wa wa NINJA!' I sincerely hope this kills Ubislop ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 17:37:31 No.706007143 ► File: 1708400513861711.png (494 KB, 1023x763) 1D 5D 1M 6M 100 80 60 40 20 YTD 1Y 5Y MAX 0 2021 2022 2023 2024 2025 >>705996505 Brother, this is not the graph of a company that is "not going away". Their stock is down almost 10% today, a day after their huge release that is supposed to save the company. They have well over two billion dollars of debt. Ubisoft is dead. >>705990793 (OP). >MFW he looked directly at the camera with a smirk and said 'l really am the Assassins Creed: Shadows' ☐ Anonymous 03/22/25(Sat) 18:52:30 No.706010173 ► >>705990793 (OP). I think people will buy this game when more people find out Yasuke sucks d--- and eats c--.

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