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Greentext Stories - Images (47,032 results)

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Anon gives a heads up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/21/25(Sat) 10:57:01 No.81564561 EDDIT EASTERN 1.15 MB JPG Whenever you hear opinions such as: >you need to touch grass >visit a therapist >listen to women >work on yourself >stop blaming others then I just want you to remember that these are the people you're talking to.
Anonymous 06/21/25(Sat) 10:57:01 No.81564561 EDDIT EASTERN 1.15 MB JPG Whenever you hear opinions such as: >you need to touch grass >visit a therapist >listen to women >work on yourself >stop blaming others then I just want you to remember that these are the people you're talking to.

Greentext Stories

Anon wonders | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/11/23(Sat)11:44:23 No.657150776 DENER OPEN 24 HRS HOTE ROSWELL BOWL OLYM Wolfenstein-2.jpg 104 KB JPG >Game is supposed to depict a dystopic nightmare future >Streets are clean, buildings are pretty, and crime is low I don't get it
Anonymous 11/11/23(Sat)11:44:23 No.657150776 DENER OPEN 24 HRS HOTE ROSWELL BOWL OLYM Wolfenstein-2.jpg 104 KB JPG >Game is supposed to depict a dystopic nightmare future >Streets are clean, buildings are pretty, and crime is low I don't get it

Greentext Stories

He led elephants through mountains | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Hannibal Barca 02/07/24(Wed)12:57:24 No.16250073 225 KB JPG >born into an exhausted Carthage that's already been defeated once and lost control of the seas to Rome >leads a haphazard disorganized army full of various mercenaries and allied troops >nearly manages to kill prime Rome with it Was he the greatest military commander of all time?
Anonymous Hannibal Barca 02/07/24(Wed)12:57:24 No.16250073 225 KB JPG >born into an exhausted Carthage that's already been defeated once and lost control of the seas to Rome >leads a haphazard disorganized army full of various mercenaries and allied troops >nearly manages to kill prime Rome with it Was he the greatest military commander of all time?

Greentext Stories

Anon is an Ancient Macedonian soldier | /r/Greentext

#1 09:35:52 212844035 Why would you want back after being taken all over beyond the edges of the known world conquering people with an unstoppable leader? >waaah my goat farm and my fat greek wife are waiting for me Alexander!! 11 #2 09:39:58 212844123 >>212844035 (OP) Why would you want to go to India? 4 #9 11:31:14 212846129 >>212844035 (OP) >be me, Macedonian spear-chucker in Alexander's world-tour of whoop-ass, 330 BC > horny as Dionysus after a wine binge, ready to conquer more than just land >march into the Levant >succubus-tier Canaanite babes with bovine mammaries that could feed a whole taxis >local merchants crying into their flatbread, lactose intolerance blocking their shot at glory >my phalanx is not the only thing standing at attention, GIMME MORE >stomp into Egypt >nubile, coffee-skinned Nile queens, hips swaying in lusty Nilotic dances >short hair, dripping with lotus-scented sweat, beckoning me to board their riverboat of sin >erecting obelisks in my mind, camp's too small for this, NEED MORE >charge into Mesopotamia >Persian harem cuties in silk so sheer it's basically a war crime >sultry eyes through veils promising a night hotter than a ziggurat's fire altar >Alexander's out here burning Persepolis, I'm burning for these babes, MORE >ride into Bactria >nomadic tomboys, smeared in animal blood, grinning like they just wrestled a wolf >promise a wild, rapeful romp across the steppe, "ride or be ridden" vibes >my greaves are getting tight, heart's galloping, ONE MORE >reach India >we NEED to go back 6
#1 09:35:52 212844035 Why would you want back after being taken all over beyond the edges of the known world conquering people with an unstoppable leader? >waaah my goat farm and my fat greek wife are waiting for me Alexander!! 11 #2 09:39:58 212844123 >>212844035 (OP) Why would you want to go to India? 4 #9 11:31:14 212846129 >>212844035 (OP) >be me, Macedonian spear-chucker in Alexander's world-tour of whoop-ass, 330 BC > horny as Dionysus after a wine binge, ready to conquer more than just land >march into the Levant >succubus-tier Canaanite babes with bovine mammaries that could feed a whole taxis >local merchants crying into their flatbread, lactose intolerance blocking their shot at glory >my phalanx is not the only thing standing at attention, GIMME MORE >stomp into Egypt >nubile, coffee-skinned Nile queens, hips swaying in lusty Nilotic dances >short hair, dripping with lotus-scented sweat, beckoning me to board their riverboat of sin >erecting obelisks in my mind, camp's too small for this, NEED MORE >charge into Mesopotamia >Persian harem cuties in silk so sheer it's basically a war crime >sultry eyes through veils promising a night hotter than a ziggurat's fire altar >Alexander's out here burning Persepolis, I'm burning for these babes, MORE >ride into Bactria >nomadic tomboys, smeared in animal blood, grinning like they just wrestled a wolf >promise a wild, rapeful romp across the steppe, "ride or be ridden" vibes >my greaves are getting tight, heart's galloping, ONE MORE >reach India >we NEED to go back 6

Greentext Stories

Anon Has Low Hopes for Taika Waititi's Judge Dredd | /r/Greentext

File: Dredd Apocalypse_War.jpg (33 KB, 271x368) Taika Waititi to helm new Dredd movie Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)17:34:36 No.212845191 >>212845725 >>212846082 >>212846100 >>212846223 >>212847626 >>212849196 >>212849312 Seriously? F------ SERIOUSLY???!!! https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/jul/17/taika-waititi-judge-dredd-movie >> Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:05:52 No.212845725 >>212845191 (OP) I also have no talent. Why can't I direct movies? ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:11:50 No.212845832 File: I want a new Dredd film.jpg (27 KB, 512x384) >>212846625 Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:28:50 No.212846092 >>212846113 hopefully it's about Judge Death ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:30:14 No.212846113 ►>>212846294 >>212846092 >"Seriously, they named you Judge DEATH? SERIOUSLY?!" >"Admittedly it's a little on the nose" ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:41:24 No.212846294 ►>>212847628 >>212846113 he's honestly great satire on the extreme of authoritarianism. Like the billions must die meme ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)20:06:25 No.212847628 ►>>212850729 File: original.jpg (194 KB, 1403x700) MOGE GE DREDD BY JOHN WAGNER and RON SMITH CITIZEN WHELMA HARVEY? YOU SENT A CAKE TO YOUR HUSBAND IN ISO-CUBE 121 YESTERDAY? THIS WAS INSIDE. Y-YES... YOU'VE FOUND THE FILE! YES? OH, I DON'T CARE! LOCK ME AWAY! LIFE'S NOT WORTH LIVING WITHOUT MY ELBERT! REDD YOU BETTER GET USED TO IT. ELBERT'S DEAD. D-D-DEAD! HE ATE THE CAKE. 243 JUDGE DREDD STARS EVERY MONDAY IN THE GALAXY'S GREATEST COMIC 2000AD IPC Magazines Ltd, 1986 >>212846294 I think the problem is that he can't do jokes straight-faced. Everyone in his films knows it's a farce and acts as such, but the majority of the humour of Dredd works because Judge Dredd is a straight man who is completely serious all the time, no matter the silliness of the situation ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)22:10:42 No.212849370 >HANDS UP CREEPS >*scummers shoot back* >Drok damnit why can't they ever do this the easy way? >You're dead judge! >*dredd pops him in the head* >It's Dredd, actually! >*skyway collapses above and a fatty lands on the other scummer, bellywheel bouncing towards Dredd's feet* >Huh, the forecast didn't call for rain >*hauls fatty off the squished scummer* >Thanks for the save, citizen. But that's 10 years in the cubes for destruction of public infrastructure >Aww gee Judge can't ya let me off! I saved ya life! >How about I give you a ten second headstart to run away? >*gives camera a skeptical smirk as the fatty struggles to stay upright without his bellywheel* ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)22:17:58 No.212849462 ► So ready for more quipcore cgi slopwave to ping my dopamine receptors bros!!!
File: Dredd Apocalypse_War.jpg (33 KB, 271x368) Taika Waititi to helm new Dredd movie Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)17:34:36 No.212845191 >>212845725 >>212846082 >>212846100 >>212846223 >>212847626 >>212849196 >>212849312 Seriously? F------ SERIOUSLY???!!! https://www.theguardian.com/film/2025/jul/17/taika-waititi-judge-dredd-movie >> Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:05:52 No.212845725 >>212845191 (OP) I also have no talent. Why can't I direct movies? ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:11:50 No.212845832 File: I want a new Dredd film.jpg (27 KB, 512x384) >>212846625 Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:28:50 No.212846092 >>212846113 hopefully it's about Judge Death ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:30:14 No.212846113 ►>>212846294 >>212846092 >"Seriously, they named you Judge DEATH? SERIOUSLY?!" >"Admittedly it's a little on the nose" ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)18:41:24 No.212846294 ►>>212847628 >>212846113 he's honestly great satire on the extreme of authoritarianism. Like the billions must die meme ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)20:06:25 No.212847628 ►>>212850729 File: original.jpg (194 KB, 1403x700) MOGE GE DREDD BY JOHN WAGNER and RON SMITH CITIZEN WHELMA HARVEY? YOU SENT A CAKE TO YOUR HUSBAND IN ISO-CUBE 121 YESTERDAY? THIS WAS INSIDE. Y-YES... YOU'VE FOUND THE FILE! YES? OH, I DON'T CARE! LOCK ME AWAY! LIFE'S NOT WORTH LIVING WITHOUT MY ELBERT! REDD YOU BETTER GET USED TO IT. ELBERT'S DEAD. D-D-DEAD! HE ATE THE CAKE. 243 JUDGE DREDD STARS EVERY MONDAY IN THE GALAXY'S GREATEST COMIC 2000AD IPC Magazines Ltd, 1986 >>212846294 I think the problem is that he can't do jokes straight-faced. Everyone in his films knows it's a farce and acts as such, but the majority of the humour of Dredd works because Judge Dredd is a straight man who is completely serious all the time, no matter the silliness of the situation ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)22:10:42 No.212849370 >HANDS UP CREEPS >*scummers shoot back* >Drok damnit why can't they ever do this the easy way? >You're dead judge! >*dredd pops him in the head* >It's Dredd, actually! >*skyway collapses above and a fatty lands on the other scummer, bellywheel bouncing towards Dredd's feet* >Huh, the forecast didn't call for rain >*hauls fatty off the squished scummer* >Thanks for the save, citizen. But that's 10 years in the cubes for destruction of public infrastructure >Aww gee Judge can't ya let me off! I saved ya life! >How about I give you a ten second headstart to run away? >*gives camera a skeptical smirk as the fatty struggles to stay upright without his bellywheel* ☐ Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)22:17:58 No.212849462 ► So ready for more quipcore cgi slopwave to ping my dopamine receptors bros!!!

Greentext Stories

Anon orders Chinese food | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 这个悲伤的男人需要好猫 94 KB PNG be me 04/06/23(Thu)13:59:07 No.72846819 > were outside drinking with my friends > not really feeling the vibe tonight, without going into details I just had a s----- day > there is this Chinese restaurant I always order from > Im a regular there > I go in and order the same meal I have ordered for over a year > I always tip a few bucks extra since it looks like they need the extra bucks > as a result I get extra rice and fortune cookies > this time they noticed I was down > I hear the Chinese chef say something in Chinese > after a while i Get my meal but this time i also Get my money back > they say in a broken english > Today meal is free you happy man > makes me feel better > i will now always order from these people > made my night much better
Anonymous 这个悲伤的男人需要好猫 94 KB PNG be me 04/06/23(Thu)13:59:07 No.72846819 > were outside drinking with my friends > not really feeling the vibe tonight, without going into details I just had a s----- day > there is this Chinese restaurant I always order from > Im a regular there > I go in and order the same meal I have ordered for over a year > I always tip a few bucks extra since it looks like they need the extra bucks > as a result I get extra rice and fortune cookies > this time they noticed I was down > I hear the Chinese chef say something in Chinese > after a while i Get my meal but this time i also Get my money back > they say in a broken english > Today meal is free you happy man > makes me feel better > i will now always order from these people > made my night much better

Greentext Stories

Anon makes an oopsie | /r/Greentext

blackfacepepe.jpg (20 KB, 657x450) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)07:29:13 No.40749171 ▼ >>40749181 The only way to talk to God is to talk in the universal language. The one language that everyone on earth can 1 speak and understand. Music. God really does answer prayers, but only if the prayer is the right song. And no one has ever figured out the notes. Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)07:32:22 No.40749181 >>40749171 (OP) whoops wrong pic
blackfacepepe.jpg (20 KB, 657x450) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)07:29:13 No.40749171 ▼ >>40749181 The only way to talk to God is to talk in the universal language. The one language that everyone on earth can 1 speak and understand. Music. God really does answer prayers, but only if the prayer is the right song. And no one has ever figured out the notes. Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)07:32:22 No.40749181 >>40749171 (OP) whoops wrong pic

Greentext Stories

Japan was ground zero for this | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB GIF 01/15/22(Sat) 15:19:16 No.870735033 >Australia had a rabbit plague in the mid 1800s >They tried a variety of methods to get rid of them >Eventually they got desperate, and switched to the unconventional >They made fake rabbits that were more attractive than the real rabbits >The ones attracted to the fake rabbits didn't breed and the population was thus reduced >Tfw they're doing it with people now >Tfw I figured out why Anime girls exist The scary part is from what I've seen, it's working.
Anonymous 13 KB GIF 01/15/22(Sat) 15:19:16 No.870735033 >Australia had a rabbit plague in the mid 1800s >They tried a variety of methods to get rid of them >Eventually they got desperate, and switched to the unconventional >They made fake rabbits that were more attractive than the real rabbits >The ones attracted to the fake rabbits didn't breed and the population was thus reduced >Tfw they're doing it with people now >Tfw I figured out why Anime girls exist The scary part is from what I've seen, it's working.

Greentext Stories

Late night with Anon | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)02:27:44 No.212843860 Drumpf got the Stephen Colbert show finally cancelled The good guys lost tonight F to pay respects >>212843860 (OP) # You mean the good guys won Honestly just learned about this All these talkshow host look and sound the same. They even have the same names >Criticizes boss >Gets fired >Suprised pikachu face
: Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)02:27:44 No.212843860 Drumpf got the Stephen Colbert show finally cancelled The good guys lost tonight F to pay respects >>212843860 (OP) # You mean the good guys won Honestly just learned about this All these talkshow host look and sound the same. They even have the same names >Criticizes boss >Gets fired >Suprised pikachu face

Greentext Stories

Anon hasn't improoved | /r/Greentext

☐ Anonymous 07/12/25(Sat)22:23:05 No.212648308 >>212650427 >>212648768 >>212650249 >Past a certain age, a man without a three-story house (basement), a rewarding, 6 figure- paying job in a critical industry on trajectory to upper management or equivalent profit from a business owned and operated, the respect of his coworkers, a company car, an athletic lifestyle, a healthy sleep schedule, a full head of hair, a faithful and pretty stay-at- home White Christian wife and at least two biological White healthy children who attend church weekly (mainline Anglo-Saxon protestant denomination with lowkey christian right leanings), a vested interest in his children's education and keeping them on track to attend an ivy league university, control over his children's screen time and social media usage, college funds for his children, 2 intelligent shepherd breed dogs with no inbreeding related health problems, a collection of at least 1500 fiction and non-fiction books, all read and annotated, the ability to play at least one musical instrument at semi-pro level, a tasteful collection of wine and spirits, multiple antiques and paintings, ongoing renovation plans for his house, an emergency preparedness kit, multiple guns of various types and the training to use them, at least 2 cars including an SUV, a vacation cabin capable of housing multiple families, daily family dinners, monthly contact with all extended family and at least one annual face to face contact, a close group of straight White friends he's known since elementary school, an active role in his community through social clubs and volunteer work, a net worth of at least $1500000 including multiple sources of passive income and a diversified stock portfolio that consistently beats the market average, the ability to take frequent trips with his spouse and friends as well as family trips, a 6+ pack/inch c---/ft height, and an active but discrete sex life can be a bad thing.
☐ Anonymous 07/12/25(Sat)22:23:05 No.212648308 >>212650427 >>212648768 >>212650249 >Past a certain age, a man without a three-story house (basement), a rewarding, 6 figure- paying job in a critical industry on trajectory to upper management or equivalent profit from a business owned and operated, the respect of his coworkers, a company car, an athletic lifestyle, a healthy sleep schedule, a full head of hair, a faithful and pretty stay-at- home White Christian wife and at least two biological White healthy children who attend church weekly (mainline Anglo-Saxon protestant denomination with lowkey christian right leanings), a vested interest in his children's education and keeping them on track to attend an ivy league university, control over his children's screen time and social media usage, college funds for his children, 2 intelligent shepherd breed dogs with no inbreeding related health problems, a collection of at least 1500 fiction and non-fiction books, all read and annotated, the ability to play at least one musical instrument at semi-pro level, a tasteful collection of wine and spirits, multiple antiques and paintings, ongoing renovation plans for his house, an emergency preparedness kit, multiple guns of various types and the training to use them, at least 2 cars including an SUV, a vacation cabin capable of housing multiple families, daily family dinners, monthly contact with all extended family and at least one annual face to face contact, a close group of straight White friends he's known since elementary school, an active role in his community through social clubs and volunteer work, a net worth of at least $1500000 including multiple sources of passive income and a diversified stock portfolio that consistently beats the market average, the ability to take frequent trips with his spouse and friends as well as family trips, a 6+ pack/inch c---/ft height, and an active but discrete sex life can be a bad thing.

Greentext Stories

Pathetic, anon. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)03:47:16 No.81871934 1741598191974404.jpg 254 KB JPG >>81871355 # >he doesn't know how to purify water >he doesn't know hiw to filter wster >he doesn't know how ti make a fire to boil water
: Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)03:47:16 No.81871934 1741598191974404.jpg 254 KB JPG >>81871355 # >he doesn't know how to purify water >he doesn't know hiw to filter wster >he doesn't know how ti make a fire to boil water

Greentext Stories

anon on Sydney Sweeney | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/14/25(Mon)20:05:56 No.212718603 124 KB JPG >attractive >decent actress >gets her t--- out constantly >embraces the fact that men enjoy seeing her t--- Why am I supposed to hate her, again?
Anonymous 07/14/25(Mon)20:05:56 No.212718603 124 KB JPG >attractive >decent actress >gets her t--- out constantly >embraces the fact that men enjoy seeing her t--- Why am I supposed to hate her, again?

Greentext Stories

Anon is Different | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 66 KB GIF 03/27/25(Thu)16:49:03 No.80769630 >You hate women, yet you seek validation and love from them >You hate normies, yet you desire to be just like them None of you are true anti-normies, you're just failed normie outcasts. A true anti-normie such as myself, does not need the validation of others in order to live their lives, and such a concept or way of life is incomprehensible to you. I am capable of being alone without being a whiny, depressed, pathetic, weak useless s------ such as yourself. You on the other hand are no different than the normies by desiring to fit in within the crowd, to have friends, to have sex, to increase their social status, and to live the normie life, the only difference is that you're just a failed normie. I will never be affiliated with you miserable jackasses and I always find it funny to see how much you suffer in the mental prisons you create for yourselves while you reject any alternative perspective. Enjoy needlessly suffering for the rest of your life then be casted into hell for all of eternity for being a degenerate p--- addicted retard.
Anonymous 66 KB GIF 03/27/25(Thu)16:49:03 No.80769630 >You hate women, yet you seek validation and love from them >You hate normies, yet you desire to be just like them None of you are true anti-normies, you're just failed normie outcasts. A true anti-normie such as myself, does not need the validation of others in order to live their lives, and such a concept or way of life is incomprehensible to you. I am capable of being alone without being a whiny, depressed, pathetic, weak useless s------ such as yourself. You on the other hand are no different than the normies by desiring to fit in within the crowd, to have friends, to have sex, to increase their social status, and to live the normie life, the only difference is that you're just a failed normie. I will never be affiliated with you miserable jackasses and I always find it funny to see how much you suffer in the mental prisons you create for yourselves while you reject any alternative perspective. Enjoy needlessly suffering for the rest of your life then be casted into hell for all of eternity for being a degenerate p--- addicted retard.

Greentext Stories

/x/phile knows what women want | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)01:28:58 No.40747516 ▼ >>40747554 >>40747683 >>40747876 >>40747496 (OP) I'm almost bald, overweight, and an autismo, but I fixed my spiritual practice and now I get attention from all kinds of ladies. I choose to see beauty and be a demonstration of higher values, and actively hold my center and space. When women have no power over you, even while they're interacting with you, they notice your freedom and they want it. Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)02:46:24 No.40747876 >>40747516 >fixed my spiritual practice and now I get attention from all kinds of ladies. >"welcome to wendy's, can i take your order-" >"THE DEMIURGE IS REAL AND WE ARE LIVING IN A PRISON PLANET" >" >"I DON'T J------- AND IT BRINGS ME CLOSER TO CHRIST"
Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)01:28:58 No.40747516 ▼ >>40747554 >>40747683 >>40747876 >>40747496 (OP) I'm almost bald, overweight, and an autismo, but I fixed my spiritual practice and now I get attention from all kinds of ladies. I choose to see beauty and be a demonstration of higher values, and actively hold my center and space. When women have no power over you, even while they're interacting with you, they notice your freedom and they want it. Anonymous 07/18/25(Fri)02:46:24 No.40747876 >>40747516 >fixed my spiritual practice and now I get attention from all kinds of ladies. >"welcome to wendy's, can i take your order-" >"THE DEMIURGE IS REAL AND WE ARE LIVING IN A PRISON PLANET" >" >"I DON'T J------- AND IT BRINGS ME CLOSER TO CHRIST"

Greentext Stories

back when we were real | /r/Greentext

S Anonymous 06/23/25(Mon)11:41:06 No.24714014 >Get Rickroll'd for the first time in over a decade >Realise Rickrolling is 15 years old >im_old.jpg >Search for my old meme YT playlist >No new vids since 2011 >Rewatch ancient-ass memes >No bass boosts or deep frying >Remember how funny and creative internet memes used to be >"Influencers" virtually didn't exist - Few people trying to sell you something, everyone was there just to have fun >Sad wild web is long dead >We used to be an internet, a real internet
S Anonymous 06/23/25(Mon)11:41:06 No.24714014 >Get Rickroll'd for the first time in over a decade >Realise Rickrolling is 15 years old >im_old.jpg >Search for my old meme YT playlist >No new vids since 2011 >Rewatch ancient-ass memes >No bass boosts or deep frying >Remember how funny and creative internet memes used to be >"Influencers" virtually didn't exist - Few people trying to sell you something, everyone was there just to have fun >Sad wild web is long dead >We used to be an internet, a real internet

Greentext Stories

Anon changes the difficulty | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 62 KB JPG 07/17/25(Thu)21:53:13 No.81868676 >be twink looking loser that never got attention from women >dress up as a femboy and post pic 1 time (once) on reddit >40 dm requests after 1 post being gay is just living on easy mode isnt it
Anonymous 62 KB JPG 07/17/25(Thu)21:53:13 No.81868676 >be twink looking loser that never got attention from women >dress up as a femboy and post pic 1 time (once) on reddit >40 dm requests after 1 post being gay is just living on easy mode isnt it

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