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Greentext Stories - Images (45,700 results)

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Anon watch the last of sus | /r/Greentext

>They get a cutie 3.14 to play the manish brute abigail >And for Ellie, they hire shrek when he drank the human potion Why are they like this?
>They get a cutie 3.14 to play the manish brute abigail >And for Ellie, they hire shrek when he drank the human potion Why are they like this?

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/mu/ is still down so i guess i should post it here | /r/Greentext

>be me >been lazy and didn't do laundry on time >had to get something to wear >put on my worst most itchy pair of underwear and jeans I've been wearing the past 4 days >raid my closet for a t shirt to wear because I own too many >find an old band tshirt that I haven't seen in a year >fast forward to me getting home today >i decided to look them up to see how they were doing >all their equipment was stolen at a show last night >mfw
>be me >been lazy and didn't do laundry on time >had to get something to wear >put on my worst most itchy pair of underwear and jeans I've been wearing the past 4 days >raid my closet for a t shirt to wear because I own too many >find an old band tshirt that I haven't seen in a year >fast forward to me getting home today >i decided to look them up to see how they were doing >all their equipment was stolen at a show last night >mfw

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A bit cranky | /r/Greentext

I've been living off 800 calories a day for the last 2 weeks. AMA, or dont, whatever f--- you. Anonymous 07/11/17(Tue)22:57:18 No.9158501 ►>>9158513 File: 1477591801645.jpg (3 KB, 126x111) C >>9158484 cranky because youre hongry arent you
I've been living off 800 calories a day for the last 2 weeks. AMA, or dont, whatever f--- you. Anonymous 07/11/17(Tue)22:57:18 No.9158501 ►>>9158513 File: 1477591801645.jpg (3 KB, 126x111) C >>9158484 cranky because youre hongry arent you

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Anon Liked The Batman (2022) | /r/Greentext

File: 1698084575929.jpg (456 KB, 2048x1152) THE ☐ Anonymous 01/16/25(Thu)15:10:16 No.207920709 >>207920734 >>207920795 >>207921115 >>207921968 >>207923469 >>207923837 >>207923869 >>207923946 you lied to me, /tv/, this was f------ kino >> Anonymous 01/16/25(Thu)15:11:53 No.207920734 >>207921205 >>207921454 >>207923837 >>207923868 >>207923946 >>207920709 (OP) >>207920875 >>207921063 The Batman was not only a bad Batman movie but a bad movie in general. >bad dialogue >Bruce is an emo twink >the gimp mask >marketed as ultra realistic but fails >the flying squirrel suit scene >wants to be Nolan 2.0 but failed >blacked Gordon for some reason >Catwoman is a black transvestite crackhead >Riddler is a reddit shitposter >Terrible third act >Batmobile is a regular muscle car but BLACK ☐ Anonymous 01/16/25(Thu)19:05:41 No.207923809 File: 1663245892872158.png (2.62 MB, 1280x1440) >Here's your kino, bro!
File: 1698084575929.jpg (456 KB, 2048x1152) THE ☐ Anonymous 01/16/25(Thu)15:10:16 No.207920709 >>207920734 >>207920795 >>207921115 >>207921968 >>207923469 >>207923837 >>207923869 >>207923946 you lied to me, /tv/, this was f------ kino >> Anonymous 01/16/25(Thu)15:11:53 No.207920734 >>207921205 >>207921454 >>207923837 >>207923868 >>207923946 >>207920709 (OP) >>207920875 >>207921063 The Batman was not only a bad Batman movie but a bad movie in general. >bad dialogue >Bruce is an emo twink >the gimp mask >marketed as ultra realistic but fails >the flying squirrel suit scene >wants to be Nolan 2.0 but failed >blacked Gordon for some reason >Catwoman is a black transvestite crackhead >Riddler is a reddit shitposter >Terrible third act >Batmobile is a regular muscle car but BLACK ☐ Anonymous 01/16/25(Thu)19:05:41 No.207923809 File: 1663245892872158.png (2.62 MB, 1280x1440) >Here's your kino, bro!

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Old greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous B 08/01/24(Thu)19:54:55 No.200460410 >that shy quiet guy at work who doesn't talk to anyone unless spoken to Is this you in you're c---? 82 KB JPG Anonymous Says he has no hobbies, but still lives a "busy life" Never shares his political views Knows a suspicious amount of trivial things and interesting factoids about society. Never elaborates on how he knows these things 08/01/24(Thu)19:58:56 No.200460452 You think you once heard him say something f----- up, at a social gathering, but everyone chose to ignore it. You aren't sure that it wasn't just a dream. Responds to questions with a shrug and a smile Seemingly immune to social drama Always polite Only has a few friends He could be extremely rich or poor. Impossible to say. Has never complained Always has time to help about work related problems aloof person 2.jpg 378 KB JPG Never seen in the company of a romantic partner Never wears anything flashy >>200460492 # >>200460502 # >>200460510 # >>200460528 # >>200462739
Anonymous B 08/01/24(Thu)19:54:55 No.200460410 >that shy quiet guy at work who doesn't talk to anyone unless spoken to Is this you in you're c---? 82 KB JPG Anonymous Says he has no hobbies, but still lives a "busy life" Never shares his political views Knows a suspicious amount of trivial things and interesting factoids about society. Never elaborates on how he knows these things 08/01/24(Thu)19:58:56 No.200460452 You think you once heard him say something f----- up, at a social gathering, but everyone chose to ignore it. You aren't sure that it wasn't just a dream. Responds to questions with a shrug and a smile Seemingly immune to social drama Always polite Only has a few friends He could be extremely rich or poor. Impossible to say. Has never complained Always has time to help about work related problems aloof person 2.jpg 378 KB JPG Never seen in the company of a romantic partner Never wears anything flashy >>200460492 # >>200460502 # >>200460510 # >>200460528 # >>200462739

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Banana shark, doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo | /r/Greentext

File: 1370710900581.jpg-(82 KB, 600x874, a.aaa-Banana-Shark.jpg) Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat) 13:01:40 No.485723075 Super beta stories. I'll go first. >Be me, about 16. >Beta to the max. >Have a hard time dealing with the ladies. >Mostly spend my down time browsing p--- and fapping vs. a social life. >Discover strange, yet pleasing ways to get my rocks off. >Favorite way to fap is with banana peels. >Will eat a banana, but peel it carefully so I can stick my d--- in it. >Masturbate vigorously into banana peel. >feelsgoodman.jpg. >Sometimes I'll use the same peel two or three times before throwing it away. >I'm a sick bastard, I know. Fast forward a few weeks. >Been fapping in banana peels a lot. >Getting dat potassium like a mad f-----. >Develop a dependency on fapping in banana peels. >Masturbating with my fingerless gloves doesn't cut it anymore. >Peel catches my load so it doesn't squirt all over my fedora. >Start calling my d--- "The Banana Shark" >Typically pretty quiet kid in my classes. >Smart as s--- when it comes to Chemistry. >Can name all the elements on the Periodic Table. >F--- yeah. >Nice looking 8/10 knows I do well in Chemistry while she sucks d--- at it. >Pretty nice girl, not all prissy and stuck up like the other sluts. >Actually talks to me. >Asks if we can be lab partners. >F------ all the yes. >Begins to get friendlier with me. >Flirting level 3 engaged. >Decide to actually be alpha for once. >After a few days of great chemistry in Chemistry, ask her to go to a movie with me. >She says yes. Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat) 13:02:20 No.485723180 CONT.... >Go to see Lucky Number Slevin. >She's into mob movies and wants to see it. >Theater is practically empty. >We sit in the back row. >Halfway through the movie, I notice she keeps looking at me. >Not paying attention anymore. >Her tongue is in my mouth. >Her hand is on The Banana Shark. >The spaghetti is out of my pockets on the floor. >She asks if I have ever gotten head before. >Allmynope. >Unzips my pants to find a fully erect Banana Shark. >Starts to suck my d---. >Two minutes in. >"Anon, your d--- tastes weird." >Oh God, she can taste The Banana Shark. >"It tastes like bananas. Do you stick your d--- in bananas Anon?" >Beta me returns. >"S-s-sometimes..." >Awkward as f---. >"OH GOD ANON, I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS" >Begins puking on my d---. >OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK. >She begins to have a seizure. >Immediately call 911. MFW I cannot go back to that theater. MFW I put a girl in the hospital with The Banana Shark. MFW I haven't had a b------ OR a date since. Thanks a lot Banana Shark.
File: 1370710900581.jpg-(82 KB, 600x874, a.aaa-Banana-Shark.jpg) Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat) 13:01:40 No.485723075 Super beta stories. I'll go first. >Be me, about 16. >Beta to the max. >Have a hard time dealing with the ladies. >Mostly spend my down time browsing p--- and fapping vs. a social life. >Discover strange, yet pleasing ways to get my rocks off. >Favorite way to fap is with banana peels. >Will eat a banana, but peel it carefully so I can stick my d--- in it. >Masturbate vigorously into banana peel. >feelsgoodman.jpg. >Sometimes I'll use the same peel two or three times before throwing it away. >I'm a sick bastard, I know. Fast forward a few weeks. >Been fapping in banana peels a lot. >Getting dat potassium like a mad f-----. >Develop a dependency on fapping in banana peels. >Masturbating with my fingerless gloves doesn't cut it anymore. >Peel catches my load so it doesn't squirt all over my fedora. >Start calling my d--- "The Banana Shark" >Typically pretty quiet kid in my classes. >Smart as s--- when it comes to Chemistry. >Can name all the elements on the Periodic Table. >F--- yeah. >Nice looking 8/10 knows I do well in Chemistry while she sucks d--- at it. >Pretty nice girl, not all prissy and stuck up like the other sluts. >Actually talks to me. >Asks if we can be lab partners. >F------ all the yes. >Begins to get friendlier with me. >Flirting level 3 engaged. >Decide to actually be alpha for once. >After a few days of great chemistry in Chemistry, ask her to go to a movie with me. >She says yes. Anonymous (ID: MYJQYP94) 06/08/13(Sat) 13:02:20 No.485723180 CONT.... >Go to see Lucky Number Slevin. >She's into mob movies and wants to see it. >Theater is practically empty. >We sit in the back row. >Halfway through the movie, I notice she keeps looking at me. >Not paying attention anymore. >Her tongue is in my mouth. >Her hand is on The Banana Shark. >The spaghetti is out of my pockets on the floor. >She asks if I have ever gotten head before. >Allmynope. >Unzips my pants to find a fully erect Banana Shark. >Starts to suck my d---. >Two minutes in. >"Anon, your d--- tastes weird." >Oh God, she can taste The Banana Shark. >"It tastes like bananas. Do you stick your d--- in bananas Anon?" >Beta me returns. >"S-s-sometimes..." >Awkward as f---. >"OH GOD ANON, I'M ALLERGIC TO BANANAS" >Begins puking on my d---. >OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK. >She begins to have a seizure. >Immediately call 911. MFW I cannot go back to that theater. MFW I put a girl in the hospital with The Banana Shark. MFW I haven't had a b------ OR a date since. Thanks a lot Banana Shark.

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10 character limit is dumb | /r/Greentext

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps
34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Are there finally games for the ps5? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/30/23(Sat) 18:08:19 No.662229505 >alt-tab out of game >game music continues to play 33 KB JPG Anonymous 12/30/23(Sat) 18:10:26 No.662229614 >another pc pleb issue doesnt happen on my ps5 7 KB JPG >>662229642 # >>662229729 # >>662230041 >>662232032 # Anonymous >>662229614 # 12/30/23(Sat) 18:11:02 No.662229642 nothing happens on your ps5 bro >>662229695>>662229785 # >>662229823 # >>662229991 # >>662230079 # >>662230153 # >>662230163 # >>662230309 # >>662230352 # >>662230397 # >>662230675 # >>662230741 >>662231231 >>662232032 # >>662232129 #
Anonymous 12/30/23(Sat) 18:08:19 No.662229505 >alt-tab out of game >game music continues to play 33 KB JPG Anonymous 12/30/23(Sat) 18:10:26 No.662229614 >another pc pleb issue doesnt happen on my ps5 7 KB JPG >>662229642 # >>662229729 # >>662230041 >>662232032 # Anonymous >>662229614 # 12/30/23(Sat) 18:11:02 No.662229642 nothing happens on your ps5 bro >>662229695>>662229785 # >>662229823 # >>662229991 # >>662230079 # >>662230153 # >>662230163 # >>662230309 # >>662230352 # >>662230397 # >>662230675 # >>662230741 >>662231231 >>662232032 # >>662232129 #

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Invincible is just Sonichu | /r/Greentext

○ Anonymous 04/22/2025 (Tue) 01:16:28 No. 48627 >Made in the early 2000s >Obviously derivative synthesis of existing characters (Sonic/Pikachu and Superboy/Goyan) >Light pastel blue and yellow pallet >(Widely Disgraced) Father is one of the most powerful beings in the universe >Comic gets weirdly sexual halfway through for no reason Invincible is just human Sonichu
○ Anonymous 04/22/2025 (Tue) 01:16:28 No. 48627 >Made in the early 2000s >Obviously derivative synthesis of existing characters (Sonic/Pikachu and Superboy/Goyan) >Light pastel blue and yellow pallet >(Widely Disgraced) Father is one of the most powerful beings in the universe >Comic gets weirdly sexual halfway through for no reason Invincible is just human Sonichu

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Sticks and stones will break my bones | /r/Greentext

File: 1361541050647.jpg-(64 KB, 600x450, croc.jpg) >Eventually parents move him to hospital >He's happy >I go to visit him >He's happy because there's no crocodile Anonymous (ID: 1z0HxFIC) 02/22/13(Fri)08:50:50 No.460464375 Replies: >>460465053 >>460465273 >>460465698 >>460465725 >Be 15 >Grandfather has dementia >He thinks there's a crocodile in his living room >He sits on the other side of the room with a loaded shotgun >Keeps the door to the kitchen open >Always shouts at you if you close it >Weird because I always got told to close it before >Grandfather f------ hates crocodile >Gets worse every day >He hates it in his house because of crocodile >He calls me over to him one day to talk to him >I go to him and we're discussing the crocodile >He starts laughing >This is what he tells me "It's great, I love it here, and I didn't even tell the crocodile where I was going." >This is what I tell him "Yeah, but I told him." >He jumps out of bed looking for his gun >Died from a heart attack a few days later I think I killed my grandfather. This is the first time I've told anyone about this since it happened 8 years ago. Anonymous (ID: RE0buUza) 02/22/13(Fri)08:57:04 No.460465053 >>460464375 (OP) 9/10 would read again Anonymous (ID: UHq20YXu) 02/22/13(Fri)08:58:23 No.460465198 you are a f------ evil genius Anonymous (ID: jjZenlSJ) 02/22/13(Fri)08:59:07 No.460465273 >>460464375 (OP) My sides man my sides.
File: 1361541050647.jpg-(64 KB, 600x450, croc.jpg) >Eventually parents move him to hospital >He's happy >I go to visit him >He's happy because there's no crocodile Anonymous (ID: 1z0HxFIC) 02/22/13(Fri)08:50:50 No.460464375 Replies: >>460465053 >>460465273 >>460465698 >>460465725 >Be 15 >Grandfather has dementia >He thinks there's a crocodile in his living room >He sits on the other side of the room with a loaded shotgun >Keeps the door to the kitchen open >Always shouts at you if you close it >Weird because I always got told to close it before >Grandfather f------ hates crocodile >Gets worse every day >He hates it in his house because of crocodile >He calls me over to him one day to talk to him >I go to him and we're discussing the crocodile >He starts laughing >This is what he tells me "It's great, I love it here, and I didn't even tell the crocodile where I was going." >This is what I tell him "Yeah, but I told him." >He jumps out of bed looking for his gun >Died from a heart attack a few days later I think I killed my grandfather. This is the first time I've told anyone about this since it happened 8 years ago. Anonymous (ID: RE0buUza) 02/22/13(Fri)08:57:04 No.460465053 >>460464375 (OP) 9/10 would read again Anonymous (ID: UHq20YXu) 02/22/13(Fri)08:58:23 No.460465198 you are a f------ evil genius Anonymous (ID: jjZenlSJ) 02/22/13(Fri)08:59:07 No.460465273 >>460464375 (OP) My sides man my sides.

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Dungeons and Dragons | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)10:47:37 No.842458908 485.png 177 KB PNG >start new DnD game with friends >we are picking our races >i chose fae as my race >friends laugh >mfw for the rest of the game they call me a faegit
Anonymous 12/16/20(Wed)10:47:37 No.842458908 485.png 177 KB PNG >start new DnD game with friends >we are picking our races >i chose fae as my race >friends laugh >mfw for the rest of the game they call me a faegit

Greentext Stories
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Life Goals | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/22/18(Thu)16:49:15 No.44875069 158 KB JPG >fap all around my neighborhood, in bushes, behind trees etc >get noticed several times >"Police are looking for a man aged 20-30, muscular build" >"muscular build" >tfw finally made it Tell me your success stories, bros
Anonymous 02/22/18(Thu)16:49:15 No.44875069 158 KB JPG >fap all around my neighborhood, in bushes, behind trees etc >get noticed several times >"Police are looking for a man aged 20-30, muscular build" >"muscular build" >tfw finally made it Tell me your success stories, bros

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Too little too late | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/25(Thu)10:02:57 No.702891367 CAVALRY NEWS VIA: BLIZZARD 1733644047507442.jpg 888 KB JPG good morning sirs we added the white woman to overwatch sirs please come back
Anonymous 02/13/25(Thu)10:02:57 No.702891367 CAVALRY NEWS VIA: BLIZZARD 1733644047507442.jpg 888 KB JPG good morning sirs we added the white woman to overwatch sirs please come back

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2024 perhaps | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 64 KB JPG 10/23/18(Tue)14:35:43 No.783075518 >year 2020 >trump is re-elected >immediately declares war on Vietnam > Vietnam war 2.0 >thousands of GenZ kids are drafted into the military A few months later... >be rice farmer in Vietnam >start hearing Lil Yaughty playing in the distance to the sounds of rotary engines >helicopters start flying over me >Gucci gang starts blasting from the helicopter speakers >whole f----- area around me gets napalmed >choppers drop off enemy troops >get smoked by a 17 year old with a pickle Rick sticker on the side of his helmet >he does the Fortnite dance over my body then yeets me into a bush
Anonymous 64 KB JPG 10/23/18(Tue)14:35:43 No.783075518 >year 2020 >trump is re-elected >immediately declares war on Vietnam > Vietnam war 2.0 >thousands of GenZ kids are drafted into the military A few months later... >be rice farmer in Vietnam >start hearing Lil Yaughty playing in the distance to the sounds of rotary engines >helicopters start flying over me >Gucci gang starts blasting from the helicopter speakers >whole f----- area around me gets napalmed >choppers drop off enemy troops >get smoked by a 17 year old with a pickle Rick sticker on the side of his helmet >he does the Fortnite dance over my body then yeets me into a bush

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Once a 4channer, always a 4channer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 27 KB PNG 07/08/21(Thu)09:15:48 No.858587673 >be me 5 years ago >get a gf >leave this f------ side because I'm not one of you losers anymore >turns out she's really depressed >suicide attempts kind of depression >stay with her and try to help her to a point where I'm an emotional wreck myself >hope that she'll be better one day and I can be with the person I fell in love with again >after 4 years of me trying to prevent her form committing suicide, she finally agrees to see a therapist >therapy works great and she's finally the awesome person I fell in love with again >dumps me yesterday because "I feel so much better, I'm finally able to find myself" so here I am again guys
Anonymous 27 KB PNG 07/08/21(Thu)09:15:48 No.858587673 >be me 5 years ago >get a gf >leave this f------ side because I'm not one of you losers anymore >turns out she's really depressed >suicide attempts kind of depression >stay with her and try to help her to a point where I'm an emotional wreck myself >hope that she'll be better one day and I can be with the person I fell in love with again >after 4 years of me trying to prevent her form committing suicide, she finally agrees to see a therapist >therapy works great and she's finally the awesome person I fell in love with again >dumps me yesterday because "I feel so much better, I'm finally able to find myself" so here I am again guys

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Ai Drives a BMW | /r/Greentext

Write me a 4chan greentext >Be me >BMW owner >E60 M5 with SMG >Get pulled over for speeding >Cops ask why I'm going so fast >I tell them I'm late for an o--- >They let me go with a warning
Write me a 4chan greentext >Be me >BMW owner >E60 M5 with SMG >Get pulled over for speeding >Cops ask why I'm going so fast >I tell them I'm late for an o--- >They let me go with a warning

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