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File: 1352501900004.ipg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so l turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >I look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" mfw
File: 1352501900004.ipg-(130 KB, 650x813, sads.jpg) Anonymous (ID: Z/jgpDx3) 11/09/12(Fri)17:58:20 No.435969427 gf is prego we like to get kinky anyways one night things get particularly saucy >i'm sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird f------ chunks coming out, so l turn on the lights >w-- it's red everywhere and she's obviously not on her period >I look up at her, she's got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she's not answering ohshitohshitohshitohshit >i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital >she's still bleeding everywhere >by the time we get there, she's not bleeding much more, but all color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent >oh s---, she looks like she's in a vegetative state >storm into to the emergency room, carry her to the nearest doctor and explain everything >he takes one look at her and says >"sir, i'm sorry, there's nothing we can do" >"WHY THE F--- NOT???" "we don't operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce" mfw

Greentext Stories
prego greentext story 4chan

The story of amande

O Anonymous 03/25/15(Wed2008 23 No 606032208 I would like to share my story with you My name is amana Reply] sborn in China very poor, had to sleep in a box for the first few years of my life one day, a man dragged me out of the box family has sold me to America been locked in trans atlantic container almost nothing to eat for nearly a wook >had no home, no job, no family, no further education for the first time in my life,I see NY sold to a man, dealing with my kind of people sa black man buys my body gets me out of there stakes me to his home >first time since leaving China I have real place to call home his name is Leon sdeveloping feelings for him try to do anything to please him >be very thankful for home and life without prostitution some day he starts requesting weird thins from me you have always been doing this wants to use my body 4 times a day starts let his friends using me -again and again always uses me when he is drunk starts hitting me when I dont work always stutfs things upper my rear end sticks chicken legs inside me -shouts "come on, give it to me you damn thing! always calls me thing "faster god damn-it, I want my chickent >his friends are watching >burst into tears >Leon is real l am a microwave Pic not related
O Anonymous 03/25/15(Wed2008 23 No 606032208 I would like to share my story with you My name is amana Reply] sborn in China very poor, had to sleep in a box for the first few years of my life one day, a man dragged me out of the box family has sold me to America been locked in trans atlantic container almost nothing to eat for nearly a wook >had no home, no job, no family, no further education for the first time in my life,I see NY sold to a man, dealing with my kind of people sa black man buys my body gets me out of there stakes me to his home >first time since leaving China I have real place to call home his name is Leon sdeveloping feelings for him try to do anything to please him >be very thankful for home and life without prostitution some day he starts requesting weird thins from me you have always been doing this wants to use my body 4 times a day starts let his friends using me -again and again always uses me when he is drunk starts hitting me when I dont work always stutfs things upper my rear end sticks chicken legs inside me -shouts "come on, give it to me you damn thing! always calls me thing "faster god damn-it, I want my chickent >his friends are watching >burst into tears >Leon is real l am a microwave Pic not related

Greentext Stories
plot twist 4chan >meme arrows

Gimpy and Stain

口(ID: ESV86btB) 03/03/12(Sat)04:14:02 No.384690105 Tard Stories Thread? Tard Stories Thread Work as a Janitor for a High school Nice school to work for Then one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry Jerry is rude, messy, and always s---- himself when startled (Which seems to be every single f------ time you speak to him) >School's out and l'm mopping the floors Jerry comes waddling around the corner and sees me >I see him He points at me and laughs, then scuttles away >Next day >After school >Cleaning the bathrooms on the upper floor >l just finished and left when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking >Ohhellno.avi >Jerry and one other tard kid are trashing the bathroom >Garbage cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped off the hinges and a f------ sink ripped out of the wall mfw It's wan O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:22:49 No.384691063 File: 1330766569.ipg-(62 KB, 1183x778, Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg) Continuation of the Tard-Janitor war The other janitors and maintenance crew notice the little f--------- too We begin calling Jerry and the tard he's friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always s---- himself-Stain, and the tard kid he's with always drags one foot-Gimpy) Well, after a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not Stain... >Looking around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Gimpy Gimpy grabs it, and using his tard strength of a thousand derps...proceeds to hurl it up into the light fixture above them. Shattering it into pieces Then the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping mfw (ID: E6qfiLGv) 03/03/12 (Sat)04:33:27 No.384692136 File: 1330767207.ipg-(39 KB, 275x385, Reallynigger.jpg) Part III >At this point, it's 2-0 and I need to get the little bastard back >I notice that he's always in the art room after school where one of the hot teachers always stayed late >Following him, I notice that he's attempting to firt with her, and leaning in to smell her butt as she picks up trash around her roonm >When he's about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one of the Assistant Admin's needs her >He gives me this hate filled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder A minor victory The next day, I notice that he has the last lunch of the day watch him wander outside with the rest of the tards to do "outdoor exercises I calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the tard-guards >When the call them all back, Jerry spies me and takes off in the opposite direction >I turn on the sprinklers full force >Jerry is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while pointing at me and blubbering ofw his tard guard and I watched him full force faceplant into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mud O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:42:39 No.384693109 File: 1330767759.ipg-(114 KB, 1200x900, ohhellno.jpg) With the Score 2-1 lI needed to figure out something else Jerry was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore if he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana When he sets his lunch down and goes to get a drink, I wander up and replace his food with banana's of all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, and rotten... then walk away >I watch as he walks up, looks around... then starts screeching and flailing his ams wildly, knocking his tard-guard into the ground and doing some sort of tard ritual that involves humping the table then...he spots me OHFUCK.avi mfw He full on charges at me, fortunately...Ilhad just mopped the floor in front of me >He proceeded to slip...fall down, and then slipnslide his way down the hallway where the wranglers secured him (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:56:24 No.384694545 File: 1330768584.ipg-(97 KB, 1709x961, motherofgod.jpg) >Now at 2-2 we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and leave him alone for good >But no...Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up on the last week of school they stayed after >I was too busy trying to help the drama department move s--- off the stage so they didn't destroy the lights >As I was busy, they snuck into one of the janitorial closets and s--- in the mop bucket, filling it with water and then using two mops to smear the s--- water all over a nice clean hallway >As I'm rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench wafts from this direction Whatingodsname.avi round the corner to see the two smearing s--- down the hall and splattering it on the walls and the lockers They see me, reach down into the bucket and grab mounds of s--- Then they try to charge me It seems they forgot that they used s--- water on the floor and it was still wet They both slipped and fell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again I was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a full on fit, just shaking on the ground and screeching Stain was writing around and crying/spinning... looking like a top he was going around so fast mfw Part 2 on the way O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)05:04:15 No.384695313 File: 1330769055.ipg-(40 KB, 512x288, Win.jpg) Part 2 of >>384694545 I called up the Administrators and the School police officer but they didn't respond I called up a few other janitors who were horrified at this scene They helped me unroll some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake of feces Gimpy and Stain both latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them off to the tard room and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived In that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found it too high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it from the outside, couldn't reach, and then just began flailing on the walls, smearing s--- everywhere and even on Gimpy they both got into a fight, slapping each other on the face and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the floor The Admins called his mother and Gimpy's mother to come get them, along with two police officers She tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage of them breaking the lights, and them smearing the hallway in s--- In the end, his mother had to pay the damages AND clean up the hallway/tard room by herself as I watched with a smile Gimpy was suspended,and Stain was never heard from again. And that my friend...is how the war was won I got to keep my job, and get rid of a gruesome twosome joyr or.com
口(ID: ESV86btB) 03/03/12(Sat)04:14:02 No.384690105 Tard Stories Thread? Tard Stories Thread Work as a Janitor for a High school Nice school to work for Then one day, the school gets a downy kid named Jerry Jerry is rude, messy, and always s---- himself when startled (Which seems to be every single f------ time you speak to him) >School's out and l'm mopping the floors Jerry comes waddling around the corner and sees me >I see him He points at me and laughs, then scuttles away >Next day >After school >Cleaning the bathrooms on the upper floor >l just finished and left when I hear a loud crash and glass breaking >Ohhellno.avi >Jerry and one other tard kid are trashing the bathroom >Garbage cans, mirrors broken, Stall doors ripped off the hinges and a f------ sink ripped out of the wall mfw It's wan O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:22:49 No.384691063 File: 1330766569.ipg-(62 KB, 1183x778, Iseewhatyoudidthere.jpg) Continuation of the Tard-Janitor war The other janitors and maintenance crew notice the little f--------- too We begin calling Jerry and the tard he's friends with Gimpy and the Stain (Jerry always s---- himself-Stain, and the tard kid he's with always drags one foot-Gimpy) Well, after a school dance, I notice Gimpy but not Stain... >Looking around, I spy Jerry dragging a trash can up to Gimpy Gimpy grabs it, and using his tard strength of a thousand derps...proceeds to hurl it up into the light fixture above them. Shattering it into pieces Then the duo proceeds to run around the hall screeching and whooping mfw (ID: E6qfiLGv) 03/03/12 (Sat)04:33:27 No.384692136 File: 1330767207.ipg-(39 KB, 275x385, Reallynigger.jpg) Part III >At this point, it's 2-0 and I need to get the little bastard back >I notice that he's always in the art room after school where one of the hot teachers always stayed late >Following him, I notice that he's attempting to firt with her, and leaning in to smell her butt as she picks up trash around her roonm >When he's about to ask her something, I barge in and tell her one of the Assistant Admin's needs her >He gives me this hate filled look as I smile and wave, walking away with my broom across my shoulder A minor victory The next day, I notice that he has the last lunch of the day watch him wander outside with the rest of the tards to do "outdoor exercises I calmly walk out there and inspect the lawn, then chat with the tard-guards >When the call them all back, Jerry spies me and takes off in the opposite direction >I turn on the sprinklers full force >Jerry is now running around the field, screaming in his language, all the while pointing at me and blubbering ofw his tard guard and I watched him full force faceplant into a goal post and then try to stand up in the mud O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:42:39 No.384693109 File: 1330767759.ipg-(114 KB, 1200x900, ohhellno.jpg) With the Score 2-1 lI needed to figure out something else Jerry was prone to masturbating furiously and then raging hardcore if he even sensed a banana or heard the word banana When he sets his lunch down and goes to get a drink, I wander up and replace his food with banana's of all kinds. Mashed, peeled, unpeeled, pickled, and rotten... then walk away >I watch as he walks up, looks around... then starts screeching and flailing his ams wildly, knocking his tard-guard into the ground and doing some sort of tard ritual that involves humping the table then...he spots me OHFUCK.avi mfw He full on charges at me, fortunately...Ilhad just mopped the floor in front of me >He proceeded to slip...fall down, and then slipnslide his way down the hallway where the wranglers secured him (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)04:56:24 No.384694545 File: 1330768584.ipg-(97 KB, 1709x961, motherofgod.jpg) >Now at 2-2 we were even, and I was willing to let it go now and leave him alone for good >But no...Gimpy and the Stain had another plan cooked up on the last week of school they stayed after >I was too busy trying to help the drama department move s--- off the stage so they didn't destroy the lights >As I was busy, they snuck into one of the janitorial closets and s--- in the mop bucket, filling it with water and then using two mops to smear the s--- water all over a nice clean hallway >As I'm rounding the corner, an awful, soul killing stench wafts from this direction Whatingodsname.avi round the corner to see the two smearing s--- down the hall and splattering it on the walls and the lockers They see me, reach down into the bucket and grab mounds of s--- Then they try to charge me It seems they forgot that they used s--- water on the floor and it was still wet They both slipped and fell into their own mess, tried to get up, and slipped again I was trying not to bust up from laughter as Gimpy was having a full on fit, just shaking on the ground and screeching Stain was writing around and crying/spinning... looking like a top he was going around so fast mfw Part 2 on the way O (ID: E6qflLGv) 03/03/12(Sat)05:04:15 No.384695313 File: 1330769055.ipg-(40 KB, 512x288, Win.jpg) Part 2 of >>384694545 I called up the Administrators and the School police officer but they didn't respond I called up a few other janitors who were horrified at this scene They helped me unroll some plastic sheeting, take two mops and tentatively reach over the lake of feces Gimpy and Stain both latched on and we pulled them onto the sheets, wrapped them up, and then hauled them off to the tard room and locked them in there until the Administrators arrived In that time, he had taken a stapler and broken out the windows, tried to climb out, found it too high, climbed back in, broke the door window, tried to unlock it from the outside, couldn't reach, and then just began flailing on the walls, smearing s--- everywhere and even on Gimpy they both got into a fight, slapping each other on the face and then Stain did the desk humping ritual again when he pinned Gimpy to the floor The Admins called his mother and Gimpy's mother to come get them, along with two police officers She tried to press charges saying that I was tormenting her son and I showed the cops the security camera footage of them breaking the lights, and them smearing the hallway in s--- In the end, his mother had to pay the damages AND clean up the hallway/tard room by herself as I watched with a smile Gimpy was suspended,and Stain was never heard from again. And that my friend...is how the war was won I got to keep my job, and get rid of a gruesome twosome joyr or.com

Greentext Stories
greentext tard story

Feral Dogs

□ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:34:32 No.22231968 >>>22232122 (1.22 MB, 1200x900) Bampin' with some OC. Maybe not spooky, but scary when it happened. Still a little jumpy with noises Background: Have an alcoholic mother with bad choice in boyfriend material > Id been living in the forest near my house for about 3 weeks alone. Sleeping in trees, dumpster diving for food, going to the YMCA to shower and do laundry somewhat regularly > I spent most of my time developing skills to not die. Black bears and stuff in the region > I had my trusty bow for this whole thing, no funs yet > One night while I'm trying to find a comfy tree to sleep in, I hear dogs barking > Figure it's just some redneck's stupid dogs over at the farm on the edge of the woods > Rustling in the distance, more barking, a lot closer this time > Decide to get into a tree. As soon as I get around 6 feet off the ground, dogs burst into the clearing I was walking in > Dogs were definitely not owned by anybody. Haggard looking, no collars. Feral dogs > I keep climbing up to get more out of reach for the things because 6 feet felt a little low to the ground > Dogs notice me and start running around the tree barking and jumping. One big f------ dog can jump a little higher than the low branch I was on > Definitely glad I moved up > Six dogs, German Shepherd, two golden retrievers, a mutt, smallish bull dog, big ass rottweiler > I begin throwing sticks at the dogs to scare them off. Smaller dogs move away from the bottom of the tree. Shepherd and Rott could be no less concerned with the sticks > Consider shooting the dogs with the bow, figure I shouldn't because the corpse could attract bears and I don't want to dig a hole or deal with more bears > The dogs eventually f--- off and I wait another hour before climbing out of the tree. Nearly dark so I find a tree with wide branches and post up as high as I could get. > Tie myself in for the night, drift to sleep holding my bow at the ready in case of bears Cont □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:37:57 No. 22232009 File: evil dog.jpg (155 KB, 1014x1600) 22222321052222232122 > Climb down out of the tree when the sun rises and visibility is up again. Luckily no fog this morming so nothing to worry about on the ground > Walk about 4 miles through the woods toward the river that runs through it. I follow the river to town because no roads border it and there are convenient paths along it. > On my way to town I see paw prints from those dogs right along the river.I stop and listen for anything that sounds ominous Continuing on my merry way because nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I get close to town and stash my bow to avoid getting harassed by cops > Cue washing clothes, dumpster diving for supplies, shower afterward and going back for the forest > Get close to where I stashed my bow. Paw prints everywhere. The little f---- are following me > Grab my bow and climb a nearby tree for a vantage point. See the dogs on the other side of a little stream that runs into the river > Determine path to get around the buggers and take it > Walk back to the middle of the forest (where I try to stay to avoid contact/arrest) as quietly as possible > Don't hear the dogs at all, standard woodland noises like squirrels and bugs and birds > Immediately upon getting to the area I stay, smell wet dog and hear twigs snap in the underbrush. > Climb the closest tree like I was getting paid for it > Three of the dogs react as soon as I make a move and burst out of bushes at me. I made it into the tree in time to not get killed which is good > Dogs circling tree, I decide that I'm not dealing with this the rest of the time I'm out here however long that may be > Launch an arrow down at one of the bastards and it hits it in the neck right behind the skull. Dead on impact and falls to the ground without a sound. No more mutt > Other dogs run over to it and drag it off into the woods. I hear them crunching bones and ripping flesh. They took my arrow. I'm down to four until they leave the corpse Cont □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:40:58 No.22232038 File: 00small72966770.jpg (82 KB, 760x571) 22232122 > I dont have enough arrows to kill the rest of the dogs and if I miss or only wound them then I can expect to be in this tree all day > Dogs leave the corpse after three hours of ripping into it. I can only hope a bear didn't wander up and scare them off. Might not be able to kill a bear before it > I stay in the tree for a few more hours, it's getting dark again. Dark in the forest is what horror movie directors are dreaming of when they make a scene in the dark tactically out of the tree and wait a few minutes before moving away from the base to be sure that nothing is going to pop out at me > Wander over to the corpse of the dog, I retrieve my arrow and dip out of the area. Make it about a half mile before I realize it's getting too dark to stay on the ground. > Walk to the nearest visible tree that looks habitable. Hear rustling it the underbrush and immediately pull my bow up to the sound > A ridiculously fat squirrel pops out of the bush. I make a move towards it and it dips out > Consider killing the damn thing for food. Realize cooking it might be hard and dogs would probably just roll up as soon as they smelled it > Climb the tree that looked like a good choice and tie in for the night > Wake up early morning to what I hope is a raccoon f------ around in the sticks around my tree. Look down to see a black bear > Tactically s--- my pants and stare at it to make sure it isnt going to climb the tree > I yell to scare the thing off. Looks at me like I'm retarded. Lumbers away > Recover from that and climb down after I can't hear it any more > This morning is a bit chilly and the dew is ridiculous. Still no fog luckily > I start a small fire to get the cold out of my bones. Barely got it going because of dew After a bit I douse the fire in loose dirt. Wait for it to die out and leave the area > No dogs yet today. Feeling pretty good. Still uneasy and jumpy though Cont I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:42:56 No.22232071222232122 File: rottweiller.jpg (9 KB, 200x232) > As the day drags on, I start getting more confident that the dogs might be off somewhere else after I killed their pa > Continue my daily routine of wandering around looking at stuff and trying to find places to sleep that look comfy > Suddenly barking. Really close barking > Run to a tree and climb up as fast as possible. Dogs come peeling into the clearing I'm in. > They keep barking and circling the tree and jumping. I pull back on my bow and aim for the big dog. Hopefully it'll f--- up the pack > I hit the big dog in the shoulder. He drops for a second then starts ripping at the arrow Manages to pull it out and keep running around barking > Apparently it hit bone and just sorta stopped > Draw again and aim for a smaller dog so I can actually kill it hopefully distracting the other dogs > Hit ribs. Dog starts howling in pain and runs out of the clearing. Other dogs start chasing it and run it down quick. Hear pitiful howling from the dog as the others eat it > Retriever down. Hideous bone crunching noises and flesh tearing noises accompanied by howling and growling > Wait the dogs out and collect arrows. The first one was bent from the teeth of the Rottweiler. The second one was bent from the struggle. Three arrows left. Four dogs left > I start making traps in my free time. Hoping to kill the things more efficiently with less arrow loss. No such luck. Four days and not one trap has sprung much less killed anything. > Dogs are making forays into my area more at night. I start waking up from little noises. Sometimes the dogs, sometimes not. Even when it was the dogs I couldn't see them. > Sleep deprivation seemed like a tactic way over the head of a dog, but these bastards were good at it. Getting sluggish during the day because these f---- wouldn't let me sleep > Reaction time started dropping and they seemed to know Bastards started to make more runs at me during the day. Im glad they never really figured out laying in wait Cont. □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:46:36 No.22232106、 File: dog.ipg (15 KB, 287x312) 22232122 > Sleep deprived and too tired to do much else, I started sleeping during the day and just sitting in trees > The dogs wouldn't make attempts to get me in the trees during the day anymore. They'd wait until night or when I was walking > I started getting really jumpy from random noises and I was getting mild hallucinations from the lack of sleep. Bad combo > About a week after I killed the most recent dog, they started coming in during the day while I was in a tree. I noticed some of them had new wounds > I first though maybe a bear. But I noticed that they were really aggressive with each other now Constantly trying to bite each other if one so much as > I drew my bow again for the big one and hit it square in the chest right under the neck from the front. It made a hideous wheezing noise and started to run around aimlessly > The other dogs started to go for it but it killed the small bulldog pretty quick and the rest backed off. Three dogs, another dying > Watching the dogs try to drag the bulldog and fight the Rott at the same time was interesting. The Rott was starting to hack up foamy blood > As it was about to lay down, the Shepherd ran from the side and bowled it over bending my arrow and killing the Rott. > The remaining retriever and the Shepherd didn't even bother to pull the dogs into the bushes but started ripping them apart right under me. I think they'd forgotten I was there. > I quietly drew back my second to last arrow and caught the retriever behind the ear with it. Dropped immediately and didn't make a noise > I drew back my last arrow and tried to peg the Shepherd with it but he must've heard the last shot and ran away as soon as I was about to shoot. I still loosed the arrow > I thought I missed because he made it into the underbrush but when I went to retrieve the arrows I saw blood where he ran off to Cont □I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:49:17 No.22232141 File: DU2618.ipg (16 KB, 300x300) 、 22232170 > The next day I walked back to the clearing. The dogs were ripped up and there were some bear tracks s I started to follow the blood trail to find the hopefully dead dog. It led to a stream and I couldn't find the dog or where he went from the stream > I heard growling after I crossed the stream. I couldn't figure out the source so I climbed up a little bit. It was dying in a clearing just past some rotting logs > I took my last arrow and launched it into the dogs chest to kill it quickly. Clean kill. Could see it stop breathing from where I was. > Retrieved my final functional arrow and decided I'd had it with the forest for a while > Went back to my Mom's house totally unconcerned with her b-------
□ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:34:32 No.22231968 >>>22232122 (1.22 MB, 1200x900) Bampin' with some OC. Maybe not spooky, but scary when it happened. Still a little jumpy with noises Background: Have an alcoholic mother with bad choice in boyfriend material > Id been living in the forest near my house for about 3 weeks alone. Sleeping in trees, dumpster diving for food, going to the YMCA to shower and do laundry somewhat regularly > I spent most of my time developing skills to not die. Black bears and stuff in the region > I had my trusty bow for this whole thing, no funs yet > One night while I'm trying to find a comfy tree to sleep in, I hear dogs barking > Figure it's just some redneck's stupid dogs over at the farm on the edge of the woods > Rustling in the distance, more barking, a lot closer this time > Decide to get into a tree. As soon as I get around 6 feet off the ground, dogs burst into the clearing I was walking in > Dogs were definitely not owned by anybody. Haggard looking, no collars. Feral dogs > I keep climbing up to get more out of reach for the things because 6 feet felt a little low to the ground > Dogs notice me and start running around the tree barking and jumping. One big f------ dog can jump a little higher than the low branch I was on > Definitely glad I moved up > Six dogs, German Shepherd, two golden retrievers, a mutt, smallish bull dog, big ass rottweiler > I begin throwing sticks at the dogs to scare them off. Smaller dogs move away from the bottom of the tree. Shepherd and Rott could be no less concerned with the sticks > Consider shooting the dogs with the bow, figure I shouldn't because the corpse could attract bears and I don't want to dig a hole or deal with more bears > The dogs eventually f--- off and I wait another hour before climbing out of the tree. Nearly dark so I find a tree with wide branches and post up as high as I could get. > Tie myself in for the night, drift to sleep holding my bow at the ready in case of bears Cont □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:37:57 No. 22232009 File: evil dog.jpg (155 KB, 1014x1600) 22222321052222232122 > Climb down out of the tree when the sun rises and visibility is up again. Luckily no fog this morming so nothing to worry about on the ground > Walk about 4 miles through the woods toward the river that runs through it. I follow the river to town because no roads border it and there are convenient paths along it. > On my way to town I see paw prints from those dogs right along the river.I stop and listen for anything that sounds ominous Continuing on my merry way because nothing seemed out of the ordinary, I get close to town and stash my bow to avoid getting harassed by cops > Cue washing clothes, dumpster diving for supplies, shower afterward and going back for the forest > Get close to where I stashed my bow. Paw prints everywhere. The little f---- are following me > Grab my bow and climb a nearby tree for a vantage point. See the dogs on the other side of a little stream that runs into the river > Determine path to get around the buggers and take it > Walk back to the middle of the forest (where I try to stay to avoid contact/arrest) as quietly as possible > Don't hear the dogs at all, standard woodland noises like squirrels and bugs and birds > Immediately upon getting to the area I stay, smell wet dog and hear twigs snap in the underbrush. > Climb the closest tree like I was getting paid for it > Three of the dogs react as soon as I make a move and burst out of bushes at me. I made it into the tree in time to not get killed which is good > Dogs circling tree, I decide that I'm not dealing with this the rest of the time I'm out here however long that may be > Launch an arrow down at one of the bastards and it hits it in the neck right behind the skull. Dead on impact and falls to the ground without a sound. No more mutt > Other dogs run over to it and drag it off into the woods. I hear them crunching bones and ripping flesh. They took my arrow. I'm down to four until they leave the corpse Cont □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:40:58 No.22232038 File: 00small72966770.jpg (82 KB, 760x571) 22232122 > I dont have enough arrows to kill the rest of the dogs and if I miss or only wound them then I can expect to be in this tree all day > Dogs leave the corpse after three hours of ripping into it. I can only hope a bear didn't wander up and scare them off. Might not be able to kill a bear before it > I stay in the tree for a few more hours, it's getting dark again. Dark in the forest is what horror movie directors are dreaming of when they make a scene in the dark tactically out of the tree and wait a few minutes before moving away from the base to be sure that nothing is going to pop out at me > Wander over to the corpse of the dog, I retrieve my arrow and dip out of the area. Make it about a half mile before I realize it's getting too dark to stay on the ground. > Walk to the nearest visible tree that looks habitable. Hear rustling it the underbrush and immediately pull my bow up to the sound > A ridiculously fat squirrel pops out of the bush. I make a move towards it and it dips out > Consider killing the damn thing for food. Realize cooking it might be hard and dogs would probably just roll up as soon as they smelled it > Climb the tree that looked like a good choice and tie in for the night > Wake up early morning to what I hope is a raccoon f------ around in the sticks around my tree. Look down to see a black bear > Tactically s--- my pants and stare at it to make sure it isnt going to climb the tree > I yell to scare the thing off. Looks at me like I'm retarded. Lumbers away > Recover from that and climb down after I can't hear it any more > This morning is a bit chilly and the dew is ridiculous. Still no fog luckily > I start a small fire to get the cold out of my bones. Barely got it going because of dew After a bit I douse the fire in loose dirt. Wait for it to die out and leave the area > No dogs yet today. Feeling pretty good. Still uneasy and jumpy though Cont I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:42:56 No.22232071222232122 File: rottweiller.jpg (9 KB, 200x232) > As the day drags on, I start getting more confident that the dogs might be off somewhere else after I killed their pa > Continue my daily routine of wandering around looking at stuff and trying to find places to sleep that look comfy > Suddenly barking. Really close barking > Run to a tree and climb up as fast as possible. Dogs come peeling into the clearing I'm in. > They keep barking and circling the tree and jumping. I pull back on my bow and aim for the big dog. Hopefully it'll f--- up the pack > I hit the big dog in the shoulder. He drops for a second then starts ripping at the arrow Manages to pull it out and keep running around barking > Apparently it hit bone and just sorta stopped > Draw again and aim for a smaller dog so I can actually kill it hopefully distracting the other dogs > Hit ribs. Dog starts howling in pain and runs out of the clearing. Other dogs start chasing it and run it down quick. Hear pitiful howling from the dog as the others eat it > Retriever down. Hideous bone crunching noises and flesh tearing noises accompanied by howling and growling > Wait the dogs out and collect arrows. The first one was bent from the teeth of the Rottweiler. The second one was bent from the struggle. Three arrows left. Four dogs left > I start making traps in my free time. Hoping to kill the things more efficiently with less arrow loss. No such luck. Four days and not one trap has sprung much less killed anything. > Dogs are making forays into my area more at night. I start waking up from little noises. Sometimes the dogs, sometimes not. Even when it was the dogs I couldn't see them. > Sleep deprivation seemed like a tactic way over the head of a dog, but these bastards were good at it. Getting sluggish during the day because these f---- wouldn't let me sleep > Reaction time started dropping and they seemed to know Bastards started to make more runs at me during the day. Im glad they never really figured out laying in wait Cont. □ I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:46:36 No.22232106、 File: dog.ipg (15 KB, 287x312) 22232122 > Sleep deprived and too tired to do much else, I started sleeping during the day and just sitting in trees > The dogs wouldn't make attempts to get me in the trees during the day anymore. They'd wait until night or when I was walking > I started getting really jumpy from random noises and I was getting mild hallucinations from the lack of sleep. Bad combo > About a week after I killed the most recent dog, they started coming in during the day while I was in a tree. I noticed some of them had new wounds > I first though maybe a bear. But I noticed that they were really aggressive with each other now Constantly trying to bite each other if one so much as > I drew my bow again for the big one and hit it square in the chest right under the neck from the front. It made a hideous wheezing noise and started to run around aimlessly > The other dogs started to go for it but it killed the small bulldog pretty quick and the rest backed off. Three dogs, another dying > Watching the dogs try to drag the bulldog and fight the Rott at the same time was interesting. The Rott was starting to hack up foamy blood > As it was about to lay down, the Shepherd ran from the side and bowled it over bending my arrow and killing the Rott. > The remaining retriever and the Shepherd didn't even bother to pull the dogs into the bushes but started ripping them apart right under me. I think they'd forgotten I was there. > I quietly drew back my second to last arrow and caught the retriever behind the ear with it. Dropped immediately and didn't make a noise > I drew back my last arrow and tried to peg the Shepherd with it but he must've heard the last shot and ran away as soon as I was about to shoot. I still loosed the arrow > I thought I missed because he made it into the underbrush but when I went to retrieve the arrows I saw blood where he ran off to Cont □I hate dogs 08/03/14(Sun)16:49:17 No.22232141 File: DU2618.ipg (16 KB, 300x300) 、 22232170 > The next day I walked back to the clearing. The dogs were ripped up and there were some bear tracks s I started to follow the blood trail to find the hopefully dead dog. It led to a stream and I couldn't find the dog or where he went from the stream > I heard growling after I crossed the stream. I couldn't figure out the source so I climbed up a little bit. It was dying in a clearing just past some rotting logs > I took my last arrow and launched it into the dogs chest to kill it quickly. Clean kill. Could see it stop breathing from where I was. > Retrieved my final functional arrow and decided I'd had it with the forest for a while > Went back to my Mom's house totally unconcerned with her b-------

Greentext Stories
dog greentext

Anon's lego

T. Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)01:08:00 No.602699084 File: lego in2g (3 KB, 284x177) >226026992 16 >i was only 9 years old >i loved lego so much had all lego sets and merchandise that my parents could buy i pray to Ole Kirk Kristiansen and Ole Kirk Kristiansen.jr every night >Lego is love" i say "lego is life My dad hears me and calls me the coolest girl ever knew he was the biggest lego fan just like me called him the best dad ever >He makes hot chocolate and sends me to go to sleep >im warm now and my face hurts from smiling lay in bed and its really warm >a cold is moving towards me >im so happy he whispers in to ear, play good >im ready spread my ass cheeks for emmet >he looks at me like im crazy he gets a box full of legos that on the ground >"im not here for that had mix feelings si was happy that emmet was real >but i was sad that he didn't want to f--- me >you dont love me? i say >"i do but more like a friend that i can play lego with >says him i hug him and i say im sorry We start building a lot of things we are having so much fun >my dad walks in >emmet looks at him with that big creepy smile from the original minifigs >My dad joins in to play until >emmet tells us that he has to return to his home planet or else he will become fully real and wont be able to move anymore me and my dad build a giant satellite we use the satellite to call for benny he arrives 2 minutes later in a tiny space ship >emmet licks his claw hand and says ouch si lick my finger and say ouch we hug again >his claw hand lights up he points to a emmet minifig i had in the box of lego Tll be right here" he starts walking towards the spaceship he starts becoming smaller and smaller he becomes minifig sice he boards the spaceship as benny gets ready to yell "SPACESHIP >He looks at me while the doors are closing i wave at him while criyng benny starts yelling "SPACESHIP the spaceship starts fliyng and instanly dissapears my dad and me never speaked about this to anyone until today >fast foward >im 23 now si masturbated with that same emmet minifig >feelsgoodman.webm then me and emmet hug >"come >says emmet >stay >I say (cont.)
T. Anonymous 03/09/15(Mon)01:08:00 No.602699084 File: lego in2g (3 KB, 284x177) >226026992 16 >i was only 9 years old >i loved lego so much had all lego sets and merchandise that my parents could buy i pray to Ole Kirk Kristiansen and Ole Kirk Kristiansen.jr every night >Lego is love" i say "lego is life My dad hears me and calls me the coolest girl ever knew he was the biggest lego fan just like me called him the best dad ever >He makes hot chocolate and sends me to go to sleep >im warm now and my face hurts from smiling lay in bed and its really warm >a cold is moving towards me >im so happy he whispers in to ear, play good >im ready spread my ass cheeks for emmet >he looks at me like im crazy he gets a box full of legos that on the ground >"im not here for that had mix feelings si was happy that emmet was real >but i was sad that he didn't want to f--- me >you dont love me? i say >"i do but more like a friend that i can play lego with >says him i hug him and i say im sorry We start building a lot of things we are having so much fun >my dad walks in >emmet looks at him with that big creepy smile from the original minifigs >My dad joins in to play until >emmet tells us that he has to return to his home planet or else he will become fully real and wont be able to move anymore me and my dad build a giant satellite we use the satellite to call for benny he arrives 2 minutes later in a tiny space ship >emmet licks his claw hand and says ouch si lick my finger and say ouch we hug again >his claw hand lights up he points to a emmet minifig i had in the box of lego Tll be right here" he starts walking towards the spaceship he starts becoming smaller and smaller he becomes minifig sice he boards the spaceship as benny gets ready to yell "SPACESHIP >He looks at me while the doors are closing i wave at him while criyng benny starts yelling "SPACESHIP the spaceship starts fliyng and instanly dissapears my dad and me never speaked about this to anyone until today >fast foward >im 23 now si masturbated with that same emmet minifig >feelsgoodman.webm then me and emmet hug >"come >says emmet >stay >I say (cont.)

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lego green text

the computer company story


Greentext Stories
4chan green text story

Craigs story

640x409) indh google lineye tegex guy a gun out and a shooting rampage gym in his duil, dingy attire and quietly lited. From what I saw he was a forty something year old guy, who was overweight and worked out somewhat to keep in shape Although he never bothered anyone I noticed that he was the butt of many insults and I was young had been liting for about 4 years or so, thought I knew everything, thought sterolds were enl, but I was enthuslastic and trained harder than the average gym goer. Our gym, although well equipped, was heart a Rness club. Most the members were more concemed with their hair, and clothing being coordinated for the gym social scene. Pigpen simply stuck out like sore thumb, I thought many times that guy unny, morel The owner was a fiend of mine named Chris. He and I had worked together at another gym, he had been a competithe bodybuilder but had since gone into the gym business and had a side business refurbishing homes. I usually spoke to Chris a couple times a week when I saw him, usually front desk talking with Chris and some of the front desk staff Pigpen was walking door shut e font desk said to Chris-I don't understand why you even let him workout here-Chris looked at her with a glare and said calmly "As long Chris wasnt cool and looked at the two of them and said That guy has been through hell and back, you need to show some f------ respect Just because your mommy and daddy pay your bills doesn't give you the right to judge someone you cannot understand. They looked completely astonished, and embaassed, and they should have been I asked Chris what Pigpens deal was. Chris told us that Pigpen had been a successful guy good career, was a competitive bodybuilder and had pro-potential So I asked what happened?" Chris replied "Life-As Chris went father, he had no other family, his mother had died when he was only a toddler. His father had developed a rare type of cancer, he had spent every penny he could trying to get medical care dad and keep him comfortable, in the end his father passed and he lost a good bit of money, his wife let him, and he had to quit competition. He went through a struggle inancially ater that, and never really recovered, and then about ive years ago he was s nearly killed, he was in a coma for several months. The insurance settlement was enormous encugh to help pay if you ever want to know high hog. just encugh t guy several weeks after that, when I saw Pigpen at the gym, I really felt bad, I didn't even know how to look at him anymore. People still poked fun at him, and it made me upset, but I just kept my bead down and trained. Then one day, I was doing chest, and Pigpen was right there doing some seated dumbbell curls, he was only using 30's, never made sense to me how the guy looked like he was big, overweight, but big shoulders and chest, he must have weight near 280-290 itch, but what I saw was one of the biggest f------ forearms I have ever seen on a man, it was lumped with a system of hose veins. I was simply captivated turned slowly y hand and said "My name is Jay" s face was almost expressionless. Chris had said he had gone through all that hard time, hadnt been asked his name in so long that he had almost forgotten what it was-then he shook my hand with the most callous of hand I think I can ever remember shaking I asked him How did you get your forearms so developed? Craig told me he went to another gym to train heay, that it was an old powerlifting gym and most of his foream development had come from heaw deadlits, rows, and shrugs. He asked d ever done deadlifts, and I had but e and said "Gotta do deads kid o you can understand as I was young and impressionable that the next back workout I hit deadifts right away. I was weak at them, I thought 315 was going to break my back but I hung in there and pushed, or should I say, pulled sdoing them After many months of practicing I got very good at them, I was up to 475 on deadlifts and my shoulders and traps were growing and people kept mentioning my forearms. Iwas so impressed by the results from one simple thing that I went to Craig requently to get advice to him. His advice was always so simple, seemed ike it was always too easy of an answer, but it was always solid adice. People in the gym still treated him like s---, but I was always cool to him, he had helped advice on many occasions and in the last year and a half I had gotten not only bigger but much stronger too, I was beginning to have the look of an actual bodybuilder. And it was mostly due gym, Chris got f I had spoken to Craig, I said I hadn't seen him that day. He said "ok and I went back into the gym t other gym would be closed I looked back t Craig talking with Chris, I couldn't hear what they were saying but Chris kept nodding his head, they both walked to a lock Pell and said "Kid, you want to some deads with We wamed up with 135 each, Craig had the chrome bar and I used a standard gym bar Ididn't know how long I would last with deads, the most I had done was 475 and that was one time, hadn't touched it since, as of late 455 was about as much as I could with 2 plates, I looked a l fnished 405 I was feeling good, I had nailed 9 reps, which at the time was a good Then Craig looks at me and s other side of the gym to the double doors, he goes in and I follow in the storage room was a myriad of old stationary bikes, rusted bars, broken plates, and motions his head down t place he picked it up and says "Get the cther one. I grab the rusty plate and its thick and heavw, dificult to cary l carry it back t bars were grip. then with a sudden surge peels t 600 look at him with a doubtful lock and s belore I can bend down to slide it on Craig looks at me and says shaking his head rom side to side "Kid and he's holding his hand up with 5 fingers showing. I tree and grab a 45lb plate, the whole time thinking I shake my head with doubt and I hear Craig say Kld, don't let that bar punk you". Now, I don't know what it was about the way y pants. I stood straight up with actually smiling, he nodded and said "very nice Some people had taken notice of what we were doing. the fitness gym crowd wasn't used to seeing big weights getting lifted like that. I saw Chris walking to us and he had a yellow rubber coated 100 ib powerlifting plate in his hands. He looked at Craig and said Took what I found". Craig nodded and Chris looked at the bar, then tumed to Craig and sald "810". Cralg simply nodded. I couldn't believe my eyes, I had never seen a bar with that much welight o Craig stared at the bar, i was a cold stare, he was breathing deeply, and exhaling slowly, it was like some meditation, he was going somewhere else, somewhere deep in his mind that he had to draw upon for strength. Onlookers had gathered, there must have been a dozen men and women looking on as Craig squatted down to grab hold of even more impressive feat was that he didn't do it only one time, no, he repped it six times, with the finally coming with an explosive crash that must have registered on a Richter scalle. looked at me blankly and said No, with more I had never seen on him. His neck veins buiged thought they may burst. It of raw power but the with 495 still loaded I looked at him in disbelief and said Again?7 I really didn't think I could do any better than 496, that was a personal best for gods sakel So I grabbed a sure it was enough welight to satisty him, he nodded, and when I failed I would just have t Craig sald something to me that I will never forget, he sald to me with a calm like a parent to a child "Kid, that weight isn't s---, there's a lot worse things than that" I stood there for a moment contemplating his words, then it a simple small thing beat you down again and again, its unpredictable l could feel a lump in my throat, and my adrenaine was pumping hard. I took hold of the weight and tightened my grip and straps around the bar, becoming one with it. The onlookers watched but it was like that moment I was by myself y shins, Craig yelled "UUPPPIr puled I could feal my heels digging in traps stinging, it slowly started to move, centimeter by centimeter I pulled y ears were was smiling again and look him ike I was o the gas chamber. Chris looked at Craig calmly saying "9O0 pounds, just like the old days Now there must have been thirty people back there watching, there were odd whispers, people asking athers how much it is, and others simply astonished that this silent giant possessed such strength s something wrong? He reached down and pulled up the bottom of his sweatshirt and pulled it up and off. What I saw was unbelievable. The man was a mass of slabs of muscle and covered in tattoos. Down the backs of his ams body was ike Anonymous 06/09/12(Wed)18 Craig adjusted his belt, and strapped back onto hi t was very quiet, and then I head Chris say "You got this s--- Craigl People started cheering him on, I could hear people saying "Cmon Craig", "You got it bro t was amazing, all the while Craig nostrils started to fiare, and he looked like he was getting p-----, his eyes started to well up, almost like he may cry, and he stared blankly at a spot was, he wasn't with us, l imagine he was in that very dark place that f that into was shaking all over. I locked to his refection in the miror and said "this is nothing for you brother" he nodded and then growled GOT THIS SHITIr, then it was a weight stalled, I thought eyes, and bar traveled futher up until he had it midriff He stood there and he opened his eyes back up, they were bloodshot and tear filled and his pupils were so dilated that one of those wdeos of a great white shark taking a bite didn't know he was ok. People started to f------ clap, Ilooked around at them and couldn't believe what I was witnessing e kneel down c but □ Anonymous 06/09/12(Wed)19 Then one of the gym tards yelled out DAMN PIGPEN GET OFF THE JUICE DUDEr I swung around, I didn't even think about what I was doing, some 30 some year old yuppie f--- with an underarmour tank top and a f----- up stick physique Igrabbed e tried to walk away, he swung around lookin eyes and I said-HS F------ NAME IS CRAIG C-RAM-G CAN YOU SPELL A------ The idiot looked at me embarrassed and replied in a low tone "Im sory man, his name is Craig then he looked at my hand still grasping into his Besh and I quickly let him go. I turned to look back at Craig and he was sitting on a bench and staring and nodded, I nodded back e gym for about another year, I talked to him requently there about training and bodybuilding, Icften reminisced about the day After that year Craig disappeared, Chris told me he hadn't seen him, but heard he moved to another state Craig and I only spoke at the gym, he had no cell phone, I had never seen his place and I had never even had any clue where he lived But guy, I considered him one of e years went by and I trained hard entered my irst show, even managed to make it to Nationals. I always wondered what happened to Craig I wanted to talk t simple answers, so many of the training gurus tried to make things complicated, and Craig just had a sentence or two to say and was spot on with his advice Then one day after a workout I went home, there was a police car in ront of my house. I walked up and there were two officers walking towards me, they ask how, theyt told died officer replied that Craig had no known farnily members still living and that his only l didn't know what they were somy away, I stood mationless yard, then l shock I was in and went inside, I called Chris t mentor of young, the guy that no one understood, the person who people made fun of and taunted and he had been one of the biggest impacts world had just lost something very good, and didn't even realize it The next day I was in a fog. I really had no clue how t Later that week as I came to grips with my hiends death, I came home from work to find an mail envelope package them "My good friend a letter and several phatos. I read the letter and it was handwritten in pencil on natebock paper reading this, I have died was hard, very hard. For a long time I felt empty and the gym was the only thing I had to remind me that I was still alive. The pain of working out and pushing myself reminded me every day that I was still alive. I have been keeping my eye on your competitive career, and have seen some of your shows. Im proud of you kid ery good at comersation as you know I wanted to thank you for the day we did deadifts. That one day I felt like I was a human being again, I felt the best I have 114539593 14540172 14540191 14540303 time I finished reading the letter I was crying bady, I hadn't cried in years, but I was weeping like a baby bady, was there, but h photos from my shows, they were taken rom the audience, Cralg had been at my shows, and I hadn't even known it. I guess he was keeping his eye on me making sure I was progressing not sitting back being lazy..I don't know why shows, t glad that Under the photos was a legal document, it was Craig's will, I read through the legal jargon and towards the end it started to itemize all the belongings that Craig had left behind, and that since I was his only kin that I would be getting these possessions e let a sizeable amount of cash, a truck, his house, and his personal belongings in the house, but the last item on the list was the most priceless of all..one chrome fity pound powerlifting e End
640x409) indh google lineye tegex guy a gun out and a shooting rampage gym in his duil, dingy attire and quietly lited. From what I saw he was a forty something year old guy, who was overweight and worked out somewhat to keep in shape Although he never bothered anyone I noticed that he was the butt of many insults and I was young had been liting for about 4 years or so, thought I knew everything, thought sterolds were enl, but I was enthuslastic and trained harder than the average gym goer. Our gym, although well equipped, was heart a Rness club. Most the members were more concemed with their hair, and clothing being coordinated for the gym social scene. Pigpen simply stuck out like sore thumb, I thought many times that guy unny, morel The owner was a fiend of mine named Chris. He and I had worked together at another gym, he had been a competithe bodybuilder but had since gone into the gym business and had a side business refurbishing homes. I usually spoke to Chris a couple times a week when I saw him, usually front desk talking with Chris and some of the front desk staff Pigpen was walking door shut e font desk said to Chris-I don't understand why you even let him workout here-Chris looked at her with a glare and said calmly "As long Chris wasnt cool and looked at the two of them and said That guy has been through hell and back, you need to show some f------ respect Just because your mommy and daddy pay your bills doesn't give you the right to judge someone you cannot understand. They looked completely astonished, and embaassed, and they should have been I asked Chris what Pigpens deal was. Chris told us that Pigpen had been a successful guy good career, was a competitive bodybuilder and had pro-potential So I asked what happened?" Chris replied "Life-As Chris went father, he had no other family, his mother had died when he was only a toddler. His father had developed a rare type of cancer, he had spent every penny he could trying to get medical care dad and keep him comfortable, in the end his father passed and he lost a good bit of money, his wife let him, and he had to quit competition. He went through a struggle inancially ater that, and never really recovered, and then about ive years ago he was s nearly killed, he was in a coma for several months. The insurance settlement was enormous encugh to help pay if you ever want to know high hog. just encugh t guy several weeks after that, when I saw Pigpen at the gym, I really felt bad, I didn't even know how to look at him anymore. People still poked fun at him, and it made me upset, but I just kept my bead down and trained. Then one day, I was doing chest, and Pigpen was right there doing some seated dumbbell curls, he was only using 30's, never made sense to me how the guy looked like he was big, overweight, but big shoulders and chest, he must have weight near 280-290 itch, but what I saw was one of the biggest f------ forearms I have ever seen on a man, it was lumped with a system of hose veins. I was simply captivated turned slowly y hand and said "My name is Jay" s face was almost expressionless. Chris had said he had gone through all that hard time, hadnt been asked his name in so long that he had almost forgotten what it was-then he shook my hand with the most callous of hand I think I can ever remember shaking I asked him How did you get your forearms so developed? Craig told me he went to another gym to train heay, that it was an old powerlifting gym and most of his foream development had come from heaw deadlits, rows, and shrugs. He asked d ever done deadlifts, and I had but e and said "Gotta do deads kid o you can understand as I was young and impressionable that the next back workout I hit deadifts right away. I was weak at them, I thought 315 was going to break my back but I hung in there and pushed, or should I say, pulled sdoing them After many months of practicing I got very good at them, I was up to 475 on deadlifts and my shoulders and traps were growing and people kept mentioning my forearms. Iwas so impressed by the results from one simple thing that I went to Craig requently to get advice to him. His advice was always so simple, seemed ike it was always too easy of an answer, but it was always solid adice. People in the gym still treated him like s---, but I was always cool to him, he had helped advice on many occasions and in the last year and a half I had gotten not only bigger but much stronger too, I was beginning to have the look of an actual bodybuilder. And it was mostly due gym, Chris got f I had spoken to Craig, I said I hadn't seen him that day. He said "ok and I went back into the gym t other gym would be closed I looked back t Craig talking with Chris, I couldn't hear what they were saying but Chris kept nodding his head, they both walked to a lock Pell and said "Kid, you want to some deads with We wamed up with 135 each, Craig had the chrome bar and I used a standard gym bar Ididn't know how long I would last with deads, the most I had done was 475 and that was one time, hadn't touched it since, as of late 455 was about as much as I could with 2 plates, I looked a l fnished 405 I was feeling good, I had nailed 9 reps, which at the time was a good Then Craig looks at me and s other side of the gym to the double doors, he goes in and I follow in the storage room was a myriad of old stationary bikes, rusted bars, broken plates, and motions his head down t place he picked it up and says "Get the cther one. I grab the rusty plate and its thick and heavw, dificult to cary l carry it back t bars were grip. then with a sudden surge peels t 600 look at him with a doubtful lock and s belore I can bend down to slide it on Craig looks at me and says shaking his head rom side to side "Kid and he's holding his hand up with 5 fingers showing. I tree and grab a 45lb plate, the whole time thinking I shake my head with doubt and I hear Craig say Kld, don't let that bar punk you". Now, I don't know what it was about the way y pants. I stood straight up with actually smiling, he nodded and said "very nice Some people had taken notice of what we were doing. the fitness gym crowd wasn't used to seeing big weights getting lifted like that. I saw Chris walking to us and he had a yellow rubber coated 100 ib powerlifting plate in his hands. He looked at Craig and said Took what I found". Craig nodded and Chris looked at the bar, then tumed to Craig and sald "810". Cralg simply nodded. I couldn't believe my eyes, I had never seen a bar with that much welight o Craig stared at the bar, i was a cold stare, he was breathing deeply, and exhaling slowly, it was like some meditation, he was going somewhere else, somewhere deep in his mind that he had to draw upon for strength. Onlookers had gathered, there must have been a dozen men and women looking on as Craig squatted down to grab hold of even more impressive feat was that he didn't do it only one time, no, he repped it six times, with the finally coming with an explosive crash that must have registered on a Richter scalle. looked at me blankly and said No, with more I had never seen on him. His neck veins buiged thought they may burst. It of raw power but the with 495 still loaded I looked at him in disbelief and said Again?7 I really didn't think I could do any better than 496, that was a personal best for gods sakel So I grabbed a sure it was enough welight to satisty him, he nodded, and when I failed I would just have t Craig sald something to me that I will never forget, he sald to me with a calm like a parent to a child "Kid, that weight isn't s---, there's a lot worse things than that" I stood there for a moment contemplating his words, then it a simple small thing beat you down again and again, its unpredictable l could feel a lump in my throat, and my adrenaine was pumping hard. I took hold of the weight and tightened my grip and straps around the bar, becoming one with it. The onlookers watched but it was like that moment I was by myself y shins, Craig yelled "UUPPPIr puled I could feal my heels digging in traps stinging, it slowly started to move, centimeter by centimeter I pulled y ears were was smiling again and look him ike I was o the gas chamber. Chris looked at Craig calmly saying "9O0 pounds, just like the old days Now there must have been thirty people back there watching, there were odd whispers, people asking athers how much it is, and others simply astonished that this silent giant possessed such strength s something wrong? He reached down and pulled up the bottom of his sweatshirt and pulled it up and off. What I saw was unbelievable. The man was a mass of slabs of muscle and covered in tattoos. Down the backs of his ams body was ike Anonymous 06/09/12(Wed)18 Craig adjusted his belt, and strapped back onto hi t was very quiet, and then I head Chris say "You got this s--- Craigl People started cheering him on, I could hear people saying "Cmon Craig", "You got it bro t was amazing, all the while Craig nostrils started to fiare, and he looked like he was getting p-----, his eyes started to well up, almost like he may cry, and he stared blankly at a spot was, he wasn't with us, l imagine he was in that very dark place that f that into was shaking all over. I locked to his refection in the miror and said "this is nothing for you brother" he nodded and then growled GOT THIS SHITIr, then it was a weight stalled, I thought eyes, and bar traveled futher up until he had it midriff He stood there and he opened his eyes back up, they were bloodshot and tear filled and his pupils were so dilated that one of those wdeos of a great white shark taking a bite didn't know he was ok. People started to f------ clap, Ilooked around at them and couldn't believe what I was witnessing e kneel down c but □ Anonymous 06/09/12(Wed)19 Then one of the gym tards yelled out DAMN PIGPEN GET OFF THE JUICE DUDEr I swung around, I didn't even think about what I was doing, some 30 some year old yuppie f--- with an underarmour tank top and a f----- up stick physique Igrabbed e tried to walk away, he swung around lookin eyes and I said-HS F------ NAME IS CRAIG C-RAM-G CAN YOU SPELL A------ The idiot looked at me embarrassed and replied in a low tone "Im sory man, his name is Craig then he looked at my hand still grasping into his Besh and I quickly let him go. I turned to look back at Craig and he was sitting on a bench and staring and nodded, I nodded back e gym for about another year, I talked to him requently there about training and bodybuilding, Icften reminisced about the day After that year Craig disappeared, Chris told me he hadn't seen him, but heard he moved to another state Craig and I only spoke at the gym, he had no cell phone, I had never seen his place and I had never even had any clue where he lived But guy, I considered him one of e years went by and I trained hard entered my irst show, even managed to make it to Nationals. I always wondered what happened to Craig I wanted to talk t simple answers, so many of the training gurus tried to make things complicated, and Craig just had a sentence or two to say and was spot on with his advice Then one day after a workout I went home, there was a police car in ront of my house. I walked up and there were two officers walking towards me, they ask how, theyt told died officer replied that Craig had no known farnily members still living and that his only l didn't know what they were somy away, I stood mationless yard, then l shock I was in and went inside, I called Chris t mentor of young, the guy that no one understood, the person who people made fun of and taunted and he had been one of the biggest impacts world had just lost something very good, and didn't even realize it The next day I was in a fog. I really had no clue how t Later that week as I came to grips with my hiends death, I came home from work to find an mail envelope package them "My good friend a letter and several phatos. I read the letter and it was handwritten in pencil on natebock paper reading this, I have died was hard, very hard. For a long time I felt empty and the gym was the only thing I had to remind me that I was still alive. The pain of working out and pushing myself reminded me every day that I was still alive. I have been keeping my eye on your competitive career, and have seen some of your shows. Im proud of you kid ery good at comersation as you know I wanted to thank you for the day we did deadifts. That one day I felt like I was a human being again, I felt the best I have 114539593 14540172 14540191 14540303 time I finished reading the letter I was crying bady, I hadn't cried in years, but I was weeping like a baby bady, was there, but h photos from my shows, they were taken rom the audience, Cralg had been at my shows, and I hadn't even known it. I guess he was keeping his eye on me making sure I was progressing not sitting back being lazy..I don't know why shows, t glad that Under the photos was a legal document, it was Craig's will, I read through the legal jargon and towards the end it started to itemize all the belongings that Craig had left behind, and that since I was his only kin that I would be getting these possessions e let a sizeable amount of cash, a truck, his house, and his personal belongings in the house, but the last item on the list was the most priceless of all..one chrome fity pound powerlifting e End

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feels /fit/

Finish her!

Anonymous 02/08/15(Sun)16:01:22 No. 597 173468 >be me >be in college >sharing flat with a mate pretty cool guy, just as averse to cleaning the kitchen as I am >therefore, good chemistry, nobody complains >College is in a small town only two bars in the entire place >anyway, get lucky one night >haul a wasted 7/10 home from the pub >shes quirky, but fun >sex goes on for almost half an hour >feelsgreatman.avi >about to blow my load in her syells, at the top of my lungs: MORTAAAL KOMBAAAAT!! >Hear bro yelling from the other side of the wall FINISH HER! >blow load as she laughed like a lunatic. Ended up dating her for a year before she split. Still miss her Replies: 597173829>>597174017
Anonymous 02/08/15(Sun)16:01:22 No. 597 173468 >be me >be in college >sharing flat with a mate pretty cool guy, just as averse to cleaning the kitchen as I am >therefore, good chemistry, nobody complains >College is in a small town only two bars in the entire place >anyway, get lucky one night >haul a wasted 7/10 home from the pub >shes quirky, but fun >sex goes on for almost half an hour >feelsgreatman.avi >about to blow my load in her syells, at the top of my lungs: MORTAAAL KOMBAAAAT!! >Hear bro yelling from the other side of the wall FINISH HER! >blow load as she laughed like a lunatic. Ended up dating her for a year before she split. Still miss her Replies: 597173829>>597174017

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OOHHH SAAAAY CAAANN YOOOUUU SEEEEEE

File 230121pq-(159 KB. 1280x720, 0b88e5fe-9090-420d-b5d2-3( ).jpg) G 1 Anonymous 12/27/13(Fri)19:53:43 UTC-5 No.523682447 Replies: 523684750 523687531 >be me >be a couple years ago >be in 7th grade >obsessed with Liberty Prime replay the 2 Liberty Prime quests from Fallout 3 and Broken Steel every night before I go to bed >dress in a different Liberty Prime shirt every day >drawing a picture of Liberty Prime in class one day >this one kid sitting next to me says, "hey f-- you drawing one of those s----- robots again? >his friend joins in, "dude, what the bell is wrong with you, you're so obsessed with that s---" first guy grabs my drawing and rips it up >"maybe that'll teach you to not be such a f-- >eyes start watering start crying >everyone's staring at me now >close my eyes >hear a feint, slow, thud >air starts to smell like machine oil and democracy >open my eyes and see Liberty Prime COMMUNISM IS A LIE" >vaporizes the kid who tore my paper with his eye laser >picks me up DEATH IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO COMMUNISM throws a mini-nuke at the rest of the class ALASKA'S LIBERATION IS IMMINENT" >been waiting all my life for this moment 刈'm ready, liberty prime, take me!" COMMUNISM IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF FAILURE" >writh in ecstacy as he inserts his massive robocock into my supple a------ >pass out from pleasure >wake up the next morning with an a--- cavity filled with tiny little nukes and prostate cancer >Liberty Prime is love, Liberty Prime is life
File 230121pq-(159 KB. 1280x720, 0b88e5fe-9090-420d-b5d2-3( ).jpg) G 1 Anonymous 12/27/13(Fri)19:53:43 UTC-5 No.523682447 Replies: 523684750 523687531 >be me >be a couple years ago >be in 7th grade >obsessed with Liberty Prime replay the 2 Liberty Prime quests from Fallout 3 and Broken Steel every night before I go to bed >dress in a different Liberty Prime shirt every day >drawing a picture of Liberty Prime in class one day >this one kid sitting next to me says, "hey f-- you drawing one of those s----- robots again? >his friend joins in, "dude, what the bell is wrong with you, you're so obsessed with that s---" first guy grabs my drawing and rips it up >"maybe that'll teach you to not be such a f-- >eyes start watering start crying >everyone's staring at me now >close my eyes >hear a feint, slow, thud >air starts to smell like machine oil and democracy >open my eyes and see Liberty Prime COMMUNISM IS A LIE" >vaporizes the kid who tore my paper with his eye laser >picks me up DEATH IS A PREFERABLE ALTERNATIVE TO COMMUNISM throws a mini-nuke at the rest of the class ALASKA'S LIBERATION IS IMMINENT" >been waiting all my life for this moment 刈'm ready, liberty prime, take me!" COMMUNISM IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF FAILURE" >writh in ecstacy as he inserts his massive robocock into my supple a------ >pass out from pleasure >wake up the next morning with an a--- cavity filled with tiny little nukes and prostate cancer >Liberty Prime is love, Liberty Prime is life

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america democracy fallout 3 freedom liberty prime 'murica broken steel shrek it love shrek is life liberty prime is love libery prime is life massive robocock communism is a lie

/b/tard transcends to memehood

File: make_like_a_banana ipg (117 KB, 356x450) Anonymous 02/18/15(Wed)15:21:35 No.599070250 b/ help me out I just don't feel likeiving anymore >be me 214 >beta freshman f----- >high school has a computer lab, which I spend almost all my time in >feel like ma go to wikipedia >sprinkles >add in a passage about how in some cultures the word "splablagoo" is acceptable replacement for sprinkle >like iimmies, but it's mine my own meme >use it everyday >bring it up in conversations that have nothing to do with sprinkles or ice cream >after a month I realize I felt different >my legs were gone king myself feel better Make likea banana, and kill yourself. couldn't breathe >l had ascended human form, becoming a meme myself >l am become Splablagoo, destroyer of memes >feel as though the eternal sadness that daunts my daily routine had been finally lifted, and that I was finally able to understand happiness and acceptance >wake up >be me, 22 >alone in my parents basement >it was all a dream >ask bank how many GBP I had left in my checking >not enough for even one chicken tendie see my savings 0 GBP cry myself back to sleep Why live /b/?
File: make_like_a_banana ipg (117 KB, 356x450) Anonymous 02/18/15(Wed)15:21:35 No.599070250 b/ help me out I just don't feel likeiving anymore >be me 214 >beta freshman f----- >high school has a computer lab, which I spend almost all my time in >feel like ma go to wikipedia >sprinkles >add in a passage about how in some cultures the word "splablagoo" is acceptable replacement for sprinkle >like iimmies, but it's mine my own meme >use it everyday >bring it up in conversations that have nothing to do with sprinkles or ice cream >after a month I realize I felt different >my legs were gone king myself feel better Make likea banana, and kill yourself. couldn't breathe >l had ascended human form, becoming a meme myself >l am become Splablagoo, destroyer of memes >feel as though the eternal sadness that daunts my daily routine had been finally lifted, and that I was finally able to understand happiness and acceptance >wake up >be me, 22 >alone in my parents basement >it was all a dream >ask bank how many GBP I had left in my checking >not enough for even one chicken tendie see my savings 0 GBP cry myself back to sleep Why live /b/?

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Anon's bbq party

Anonymous 02/19/15(Thu)13:58:40 No.3779722737797790 >be 10th my birthday invite all my friends and classmates >muzzies included >have a big bbq >muzzies eat spare ribs and love it >my cheeky dad doesnt even tell them what it is just says its very delicious >they ask me what it is >tell them its chicken they eat a shitload more next day in school one of them told me that he got a good ass whooping when he told his dad he want to eat some spare ribs like he did at my birthday DEVILISH
Anonymous 02/19/15(Thu)13:58:40 No.3779722737797790 >be 10th my birthday invite all my friends and classmates >muzzies included >have a big bbq >muzzies eat spare ribs and love it >my cheeky dad doesnt even tell them what it is just says its very delicious >they ask me what it is >tell them its chicken they eat a shitload more next day in school one of them told me that he got a good ass whooping when he told his dad he want to eat some spare ribs like he did at my birthday DEVILISH

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4chan dad party muslims bbq green text stories barbeque muzzie ass whooping

Anon is home alone

□ Anonymous (ID: k9T6Wmnk) 04/17/12(Tue)06:40:56 No.393964882 >lay in bed s------- pants for 4 days because my dads out of town and i got the house to myself >burglar breaks in >kicks open my door >lazily fling s--- at him >burglar takes off mask >its my dad >explains he suspected i was the s--- shittington of shitton shire admit i am >everything was better than i expected. Anonymous (ID: nSVGhUpO) 04/17/12(Tue)06:43:03 No.393965093 2393964882 dude what
□ Anonymous (ID: k9T6Wmnk) 04/17/12(Tue)06:40:56 No.393964882 >lay in bed s------- pants for 4 days because my dads out of town and i got the house to myself >burglar breaks in >kicks open my door >lazily fling s--- at him >burglar takes off mask >its my dad >explains he suspected i was the s--- shittington of shitton shire admit i am >everything was better than i expected. Anonymous (ID: nSVGhUpO) 04/17/12(Tue)06:43:03 No.393965093 2393964882 dude what

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wat anon home alone green text stories

And all I wanted was a knife holster

□ Anonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08:24:42 No.22352309 >>22352392 >>22352421 22352510 22352569 Where I live I barely ever have soccermom issues BUT, this one time. be inna Santa Fe with my friend visiting his dad, and his dad's boyfriend (I know, but they're cool) >out at one of the outdoor type malls >l look over and see people with signs screaming about stuff >no idea who they are, oh wel >sick of looking at shoes with two gay men, so I head off alone go into a knife store ow and behold, they have a few holsters and stuff for sale >been CC'ing in a s----- uncomfortable holster all day >buy a nicer one >Ask store owner if I can swap out in the store as im doing this I notice a lady with a sign walking by she glances at me and see's my gun on the counter >the cashier was going to hide it for me but she walked by as I set it down. >Picks up her sign "OCCUPY NM" really big on it. Cont. Anonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08 40 45 № 22352421 >-223524652-22352467 22352309 "oh boy here we go" I said quite loudly to the cashier and store owner. >Lady runs up "THATS ILLEGAL" >l shut my [Shrieking Intensifies] Store owner starts off "Ma'am, this is my store, he can have his gun in here if he wants to. Plus, he has a concealed permit" >"YOU MEAN YOU ADVOCATE PEOPLE SECRETLY CARRYING DEADLY WEAPONS?1?!? HOW DARE YO- >Store owner is walking away from her, face palming >cashier is looking really worried s"Jeff, the lady's just dumb, give her a break, stop. >"Caleb I can't deal with her in MY store messing with MY customers, LADY YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO GIT >I'm sitting there trying to get my new holster on as fast as I can Lady starts chanting some weird slogan about how guns kill or something, i had tuned her out >Her chants must have summoned others because I heard more voices, then looked out the window >her herd had gathered outside the store sall of them could see me putting my gun in my holster >Liberalism intensifies >Store owner come back and says "Lady, calm down or git, last chance." >Lady screams at him, calls him a pig >He raises up a mossberg 500 in full view of the crown and begins loading it. >every shell he put in he counts >click "1" click "2".. goes to five pumps the shotgun >The woman jumps on the floor and screams for help, she's being attacked >I'm standing there in shock >l tell the owner sorry but I need to go "no this happens at least once a day since these C---- (looks and yells at lady) showed up, you go on and have a good day" >walk out >crowd is yelling at me people clawing at my side muscle my way through >go run to my friend "dude let's go" >"why?" angry OCCUPY crowd marching our way >"What...the...f---...what did you even >drag him the f--- away find his dad and his bf >"Guys, c'mon, buy shoes later" (extreme gay voice) "Por que, I was just about to model them fors mi love >"LATER DO IT LATER" >"Si, ok, so pooshy >us 4 walk out >The crowd is just yelling at us as I dive into the car ロAnonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08:50:26 No.22352484 22223524982222352503 >>2 22352421 >Land whale throws her sign like a frisbee and in hits the car >(extreme gay voice again) >"WHO DID THIS" >friend's dad gets out >"WHO IS THE MOTHER..M------------ WHO DEED THEES" slady who threw it realizes her herd has not caught up yet. "WASS IT YOU BEECH?" >"YOU APOLOGIZE TO MI CAR OR I CALL LA POLICE" >lady is mindfucked to no end. A gay man is mad at her, and not on her side >She tries to run >He catches her >(gay and mexican accents intensify) "YOU APOLOGISE TO LA >He is now dragging this land cow to the car "APOLOGIZE >Lady mumbles sorry >"NOW KEES" (pushes her face into the window) "NOW GEET OUTTA MY FACE" >we drive home in silence CARRO PENCHE PUTA" DON'T TREAD ON ME And that's why I love my friend's gay dad as much as my own dad.
□ Anonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08:24:42 No.22352309 >>22352392 >>22352421 22352510 22352569 Where I live I barely ever have soccermom issues BUT, this one time. be inna Santa Fe with my friend visiting his dad, and his dad's boyfriend (I know, but they're cool) >out at one of the outdoor type malls >l look over and see people with signs screaming about stuff >no idea who they are, oh wel >sick of looking at shoes with two gay men, so I head off alone go into a knife store ow and behold, they have a few holsters and stuff for sale >been CC'ing in a s----- uncomfortable holster all day >buy a nicer one >Ask store owner if I can swap out in the store as im doing this I notice a lady with a sign walking by she glances at me and see's my gun on the counter >the cashier was going to hide it for me but she walked by as I set it down. >Picks up her sign "OCCUPY NM" really big on it. Cont. Anonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08 40 45 № 22352421 >-223524652-22352467 22352309 "oh boy here we go" I said quite loudly to the cashier and store owner. >Lady runs up "THATS ILLEGAL" >l shut my [Shrieking Intensifies] Store owner starts off "Ma'am, this is my store, he can have his gun in here if he wants to. Plus, he has a concealed permit" >"YOU MEAN YOU ADVOCATE PEOPLE SECRETLY CARRYING DEADLY WEAPONS?1?!? HOW DARE YO- >Store owner is walking away from her, face palming >cashier is looking really worried s"Jeff, the lady's just dumb, give her a break, stop. >"Caleb I can't deal with her in MY store messing with MY customers, LADY YOU HAVE 5 SECONDS TO GIT >I'm sitting there trying to get my new holster on as fast as I can Lady starts chanting some weird slogan about how guns kill or something, i had tuned her out >Her chants must have summoned others because I heard more voices, then looked out the window >her herd had gathered outside the store sall of them could see me putting my gun in my holster >Liberalism intensifies >Store owner come back and says "Lady, calm down or git, last chance." >Lady screams at him, calls him a pig >He raises up a mossberg 500 in full view of the crown and begins loading it. >every shell he put in he counts >click "1" click "2".. goes to five pumps the shotgun >The woman jumps on the floor and screams for help, she's being attacked >I'm standing there in shock >l tell the owner sorry but I need to go "no this happens at least once a day since these C---- (looks and yells at lady) showed up, you go on and have a good day" >walk out >crowd is yelling at me people clawing at my side muscle my way through >go run to my friend "dude let's go" >"why?" angry OCCUPY crowd marching our way >"What...the...f---...what did you even >drag him the f--- away find his dad and his bf >"Guys, c'mon, buy shoes later" (extreme gay voice) "Por que, I was just about to model them fors mi love >"LATER DO IT LATER" >"Si, ok, so pooshy >us 4 walk out >The crowd is just yelling at us as I dive into the car ロAnonymous 08/12/14(Tue)08:50:26 No.22352484 22223524982222352503 >>2 22352421 >Land whale throws her sign like a frisbee and in hits the car >(extreme gay voice again) >"WHO DID THIS" >friend's dad gets out >"WHO IS THE MOTHER..M------------ WHO DEED THEES" slady who threw it realizes her herd has not caught up yet. "WASS IT YOU BEECH?" >"YOU APOLOGIZE TO MI CAR OR I CALL LA POLICE" >lady is mindfucked to no end. A gay man is mad at her, and not on her side >She tries to run >He catches her >(gay and mexican accents intensify) "YOU APOLOGISE TO LA >He is now dragging this land cow to the car "APOLOGIZE >Lady mumbles sorry >"NOW KEES" (pushes her face into the window) "NOW GEET OUTTA MY FACE" >we drive home in silence CARRO PENCHE PUTA" DON'T TREAD ON ME And that's why I love my friend's gay dad as much as my own dad.

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4chan /k/ guns

Autistic anon goes to a farm

Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes >Be 15 Go to farm on after- school group's field trip 19 KB JPG Want to be funny "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded > Go to farmer Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:38:06 No.530996935 this thread is a good thread
Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:29:30 No.530995260 ITT: Autistic Mistakes >Be 15 Go to farm on after- school group's field trip 19 KB JPG Want to be funny "You have a nice d---." > MFW meant to say c--- > MFW I realize he grew vegatables > MFW I'm probably retarded > Go to farmer Anonymous 02/05/14(Wed)20:38:06 No.530996935 this thread is a good thread

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4chan thread anon autism farm autistic sweating towel guy field trip good thread vegatable

[click here to register to see link] fffffff

Anonymous 02/09/15(Mon)09:10:31 No.282662517 File: 352345239847ipg (39 KB, 30x318) 0 2 Trying to play an old fairly obscure PC game sthe game has some kind of weird graphical glitch that makes it unplayable Sit's hard to search google for the problem because the game is old, not very well known and the problem isn't just an error message I can copy and paste into google >finally find a post from 2007 of someone that has the exact glitch I have sthe post is on a now deserted gaming forum kill me one one other post in the thread besides the OP sthe other poster made a hotfix just for that glitch, just download and drop it into your game folder > You must register to see download links. Click here to register register >don't receive email confirmation register again with a different email >nothing >check the forum >admin post from 2008 basically saying that the whole thing was busted and he doesn't have time to fix it >keep trying to register with 10 minute mail it eventually works by this time I have lost the original thread, log into the forum and navigate back to it scroll down to the download link -http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VREHJGYBT
Anonymous 02/09/15(Mon)09:10:31 No.282662517 File: 352345239847ipg (39 KB, 30x318) 0 2 Trying to play an old fairly obscure PC game sthe game has some kind of weird graphical glitch that makes it unplayable Sit's hard to search google for the problem because the game is old, not very well known and the problem isn't just an error message I can copy and paste into google >finally find a post from 2007 of someone that has the exact glitch I have sthe post is on a now deserted gaming forum kill me one one other post in the thread besides the OP sthe other poster made a hotfix just for that glitch, just download and drop it into your game folder > You must register to see download links. Click here to register register >don't receive email confirmation register again with a different email >nothing >check the forum >admin post from 2008 basically saying that the whole thing was busted and he doesn't have time to fix it >keep trying to register with 10 minute mail it eventually works by this time I have lost the original thread, log into the forum and navigate back to it scroll down to the download link -http://www.megaupload.com/?d=VREHJGYBT

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/v/ kill me

A day on /pol/

Anonymous 12/08/14(Mon)02:32:53 No. 15551545 File: 4953950909335.ipg (15 KB, 225x225) >215551574 15551463 > be me > be free true patriot Americarn citizen > constantly scan radio for signs of global problem > hear that Israel may have bombed Syria > Four of my five chins wobble in slight panic >Go to /pol/, the last bastion of true news >oh my God > /pol/ has been shut down > start to panic >take 30 minutes to rise from my chair > legs straining under 500lbs of weight > grab my emergency kit > cheetos > doritos >l----- p--- I printed off the internet > BB gun to scare people > start to run toward basement > oh wait >I'm already there, suckitnewfags.jpg >take defensive position » start crying > I may never seen my little pony again >belly rolls start to jiggle in fear >door to basement opens > openfire.png > hit the k--- muslim liberal f--- > f--- yeah "What the f--- anon?! > Oh it's mom. > Sorry mom." > Start crying > Mom asks if I want hot pockets > S-- so hard I s--- myself >She sighs and says something about abortion > Load up an conspiracy youtube video about jews >masturbate into hot pocket until I fall asleep > WWIII averted for another day
Anonymous 12/08/14(Mon)02:32:53 No. 15551545 File: 4953950909335.ipg (15 KB, 225x225) >215551574 15551463 > be me > be free true patriot Americarn citizen > constantly scan radio for signs of global problem > hear that Israel may have bombed Syria > Four of my five chins wobble in slight panic >Go to /pol/, the last bastion of true news >oh my God > /pol/ has been shut down > start to panic >take 30 minutes to rise from my chair > legs straining under 500lbs of weight > grab my emergency kit > cheetos > doritos >l----- p--- I printed off the internet > BB gun to scare people > start to run toward basement > oh wait >I'm already there, suckitnewfags.jpg >take defensive position » start crying > I may never seen my little pony again >belly rolls start to jiggle in fear >door to basement opens > openfire.png > hit the k--- muslim liberal f--- > f--- yeah "What the f--- anon?! > Oh it's mom. > Sorry mom." > Start crying > Mom asks if I want hot pockets > S-- so hard I s--- myself >She sighs and says something about abortion > Load up an conspiracy youtube video about jews >masturbate into hot pocket until I fall asleep > WWIII averted for another day

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doritos anon mountain dew cheetos hot pockets smugfrog green text stories smug frog wwiii /pol/ shut down

Burn!

Anonymous (ID: 5X12uWg+) 08/26/12(Sun)20:22:13 No.421405646 File: 1346026933186.png-(19 KB, 1440x900, Blankpost.png) >Have no job >Only work I do is volunteer work >Volunteer entertaining mentally il/mentally challenged >It isn't too bad, but it gets repetitive. >Hear the retards say the same s--- over and over every day >They tell me the same god damn stories every day >Put up with it, I'm not mean enough to yell at mentally challenged people >Listening to them talk to each other is the worst part >Mostly gibberish, somehow they all understand each other >They laugh all the time over nothing, literally over the stupidest s--- >When I CAN understand them, usually argue over where they're from and who is better >Argue over some of the dumbest s--- >Some of the kids there aren't mentally challenged, just have illnesses that make them unacceptable for regular society Sociopaths, Schizophrenics, etc >Enjoy talking to some of those kids >They'll hold normal conversations, but you can tell there's something wrong with them >Really odd, deep obsessions with random things of no meaning >But I try not to think twice about it >The cafeteria is the worst >Retards throw food literally every day >Avoid cafeteria completely when spaghetti is being served (Personal reasons) >The place should be shut down >The owner is almost never around >Never takes care of the place >Finally get tired of dealing with all the b------- retards and terrible conditions >Exit my browser and get off 4chan.
Anonymous (ID: 5X12uWg+) 08/26/12(Sun)20:22:13 No.421405646 File: 1346026933186.png-(19 KB, 1440x900, Blankpost.png) >Have no job >Only work I do is volunteer work >Volunteer entertaining mentally il/mentally challenged >It isn't too bad, but it gets repetitive. >Hear the retards say the same s--- over and over every day >They tell me the same god damn stories every day >Put up with it, I'm not mean enough to yell at mentally challenged people >Listening to them talk to each other is the worst part >Mostly gibberish, somehow they all understand each other >They laugh all the time over nothing, literally over the stupidest s--- >When I CAN understand them, usually argue over where they're from and who is better >Argue over some of the dumbest s--- >Some of the kids there aren't mentally challenged, just have illnesses that make them unacceptable for regular society Sociopaths, Schizophrenics, etc >Enjoy talking to some of those kids >They'll hold normal conversations, but you can tell there's something wrong with them >Really odd, deep obsessions with random things of no meaning >But I try not to think twice about it >The cafeteria is the worst >Retards throw food literally every day >Avoid cafeteria completely when spaghetti is being served (Personal reasons) >The place should be shut down >The owner is almost never around >Never takes care of the place >Finally get tired of dealing with all the b------- retards and terrible conditions >Exit my browser and get off 4chan.

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Anon goes incognito

>close out all of my neopets tabs >cant have those f------ stealing my np 120 KB PNG close out of my club disney tabs didnt have my parents permission >the police break down the door ohfuckohfuck.jpg >have a realization >go incognito mode >police chief rips me away from the computer youre going away for a long time anon >point to edgemaster in the corner of my browser >oh god, the police cheif screams >he went incognito >snicker as the cops pack up to leave >tip fedora as the cops leave >dont let the door hit you officer
>close out all of my neopets tabs >cant have those f------ stealing my np 120 KB PNG close out of my club disney tabs didnt have my parents permission >the police break down the door ohfuckohfuck.jpg >have a realization >go incognito mode >police chief rips me away from the computer youre going away for a long time anon >point to edgemaster in the corner of my browser >oh god, the police cheif screams >he went incognito >snicker as the cops pack up to leave >tip fedora as the cops leave >dont let the door hit you officer

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Fats Mcgee and the Retard Three

Even Micor Thee ae undigested of hotdiog floating ound in his stomach a Tan awe hrve gore o.side to iet p e Reta fal i meen gley kickbol. 0 the besetal eo Fats ogee, and his Retard Three >-One of the Retant Theo stats aning me, in sputring eod tore Fas Mago wets himeet, les thers in a puddie af une arying ame in the wanding machine This Tart Guard naaged to lose her Tads T ALL UPPITY BECAUBE MY SPECIAL ED 8TUDENT ENTERED ,48 HI8 CLABBROOM HE MUST HATE SPECIAL ED rag Fats Mogee back to the Tand Cage AKA Thundeome Wsik back to classroom, but not belore seing that Fate had royally s--- it Bad enough that it doeet even look lke a staing it looks ie s--- is actually drbbling fom the back of hie Fats Megeeand his Ratan, Three part Ⅳ: The Red is alkevet, the sand of Tar Rage) -Fats must be a sophomore aboz his point hae my Masters, and plan on workdng -carry ●uk T. 0uand hey can wap roe th Turt-orty h g fuld Tard Guand, a hat one that I actualy ike, stats ounding tham up, doing her job. up. tid block. We practiced in the gym that day The Tale of Fas Magee and INs Rea Tiee Pat V Field y Fats t to do the vool side the bulies do in movies and ends up slaming indo me hat has ban lof out in the s and marineled in piss and horse j Hel Breaks Loose The Retard Three have all stated oock dueling thirk at that port, Fーーind how bad he ficked up, aocaaohajat tried crying. ats Mogee and his Ratard Three part VIl: End of the Baginning of the End The Taie of Fats MeGe and his Retand Tree, Pat Vi: A Farewall to Ame par I Fats is going ta Sing ms to my slomp, .Incoming FINAL BOSS BATTLE The Finel 8ory o Fats Mogee and his Retard 8hare down The Final Story of Fats and his Ratand Thre >Eeety hoidet Ho ever Caused buurt.eto礼 >No matter what happens no matter how old I get And thus ends, the Tale of Fats Mages
Even Micor Thee ae undigested of hotdiog floating ound in his stomach a Tan awe hrve gore o.side to iet p e Reta fal i meen gley kickbol. 0 the besetal eo Fats ogee, and his Retard Three >-One of the Retant Theo stats aning me, in sputring eod tore Fas Mago wets himeet, les thers in a puddie af une arying ame in the wanding machine This Tart Guard naaged to lose her Tads T ALL UPPITY BECAUBE MY SPECIAL ED 8TUDENT ENTERED ,48 HI8 CLABBROOM HE MUST HATE SPECIAL ED rag Fats Mogee back to the Tand Cage AKA Thundeome Wsik back to classroom, but not belore seing that Fate had royally s--- it Bad enough that it doeet even look lke a staing it looks ie s--- is actually drbbling fom the back of hie Fats Megeeand his Ratan, Three part Ⅳ: The Red is alkevet, the sand of Tar Rage) -Fats must be a sophomore aboz his point hae my Masters, and plan on workdng -carry ●uk T. 0uand hey can wap roe th Turt-orty h g fuld Tard Guand, a hat one that I actualy ike, stats ounding tham up, doing her job. up. tid block. We practiced in the gym that day The Tale of Fas Magee and INs Rea Tiee Pat V Field y Fats t to do the vool side the bulies do in movies and ends up slaming indo me hat has ban lof out in the s and marineled in piss and horse j Hel Breaks Loose The Retard Three have all stated oock dueling thirk at that port, Fーーind how bad he ficked up, aocaaohajat tried crying. ats Mogee and his Ratard Three part VIl: End of the Baginning of the End The Taie of Fats MeGe and his Retand Tree, Pat Vi: A Farewall to Ame par I Fats is going ta Sing ms to my slomp, .Incoming FINAL BOSS BATTLE The Finel 8ory o Fats Mogee and his Retard 8hare down The Final Story of Fats and his Ratand Thre >Eeety hoidet Ho ever Caused buurt.eto礼 >No matter what happens no matter how old I get And thus ends, the Tale of Fats Mages

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"Tumtum rumblebumble"

□ Anonymous (ID: bplQT50) 12/04/12(Tue)23:53:13 No.441583257 Reples: >>441583649 >>441584076 9 5 Fil: 1354683193477 ig-(15 KB, 400x231, Calvin_Hobbes_Laughing jpg) >Be me >Be in Grade 7 >Be in rich white privileged kid school >Hang out with the cool kids who don't use the playground >Playground is a multi-level jungle gym with a bunch of slides and poles >One integrated tard wandering the top of the jungle gym, looking nervous >Tard been complaining all day of "Tumtum rumblebumble" Suddenly we hear a mighty tardrar from the top of the jungle gym at the spiral slide >Look up >Tard is getting completely nude >lolwut.jpg >He squats above the spiral slide >Tard releases another mighty tardrar TUM TUM RUMBLEBUMBLE >Mighty blast of green liquid s--- sprays and sputters out of his ass, pouring down the slide >She panics, falls face first into liquid s--- and slides all the way back down >Liquid s--- and tardrar not stopping TUM TUM NNRRRRRGGHHH! >Biggest turd I've ever seen in my life slowly escapes a------ >Tard vomits from what I can only assume to be pain from giving birth to that monster >Vomit leaks through wood slats onto children below friends and I through the whole event, see image
□ Anonymous (ID: bplQT50) 12/04/12(Tue)23:53:13 No.441583257 Reples: >>441583649 >>441584076 9 5 Fil: 1354683193477 ig-(15 KB, 400x231, Calvin_Hobbes_Laughing jpg) >Be me >Be in Grade 7 >Be in rich white privileged kid school >Hang out with the cool kids who don't use the playground >Playground is a multi-level jungle gym with a bunch of slides and poles >One integrated tard wandering the top of the jungle gym, looking nervous >Tard been complaining all day of "Tumtum rumblebumble" Suddenly we hear a mighty tardrar from the top of the jungle gym at the spiral slide >Look up >Tard is getting completely nude >lolwut.jpg >He squats above the spiral slide >Tard releases another mighty tardrar TUM TUM RUMBLEBUMBLE >Mighty blast of green liquid s--- sprays and sputters out of his ass, pouring down the slide >She panics, falls face first into liquid s--- and slides all the way back down >Liquid s--- and tardrar not stopping TUM TUM NNRRRRRGGHHH! >Biggest turd I've ever seen in my life slowly escapes a------ >Tard vomits from what I can only assume to be pain from giving birth to that monster >Vomit leaks through wood slats onto children below friends and I through the whole event, see image

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4chan lol anon playground autism ew gross wat laugh privilege calvin and hobbes dafuq tumtum rumblebumble hnnnnnng puke monster giant vomit