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COD: Modern Fishfare

Anonymous No.592760531 Vor 53 Minuten >Be me working at gamestop >parent asks for a game called "cod" tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have >have ton of copies in the back we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free she buys three brand new copies of this game >she comes back after christmas >all three copies have been opened >no refund because you opened them >a kid out there received 3 copies of a f------ fishing game for christmas 2 replies
Anonymous No.592760531 Vor 53 Minuten >Be me working at gamestop >parent asks for a game called "cod" tell her there is no game called "cod" but her son probably meant "Rapala pro bass fishing" there are lots of fish in that game and the closest we have >have ton of copies in the back we have a deal on, if you buy 2 copies you get 1 free she buys three brand new copies of this game >she comes back after christmas >all three copies have been opened >no refund because you opened them >a kid out there received 3 copies of a f------ fishing game for christmas 2 replies

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call of duty troll gamestop fishing

Demon Traveler

File: char 58483 ipg (10 KB, 210x240) ■ Anonymous 05/11/16(Wed)12:33:10 No.683783111 >be me saverage shopkeeper sgood location and good business new guy comes in, probably traveler stry to be nice to the new guy >Everythings for sale! this guy looks kind of sketchy She walks over my table to the counter she does not speak or blink show him everything i own my hands tremble as i feel fear she lays down 10 bloody armor pelts swhere did he get these si slowly pay for the items >he sells me out for every gold piece >he walks to the door without a word >walks directly through my fire pit She doesnt even flinch >do come back i say Si hope he never comes back go home for the night smy shop is filled with bloody armor >I lost all of my gold >traveler doesnt come back for days > one moming i go to my shop She is standing outside, motionless Show long has he been there >i walk up to him She is standing outside the door She does not blink or move i am too scared to ask him to move she doesnt move a muscle attempt to access the door i must squeeze around him Sim careful not to touch hinm slowly open the front door >i am finally in >my heart is pounding >i wonder how long he will stay >hours pass by before the door opens >mfw it comes in She says nothing, i feel true fear She presents 15 dragon bones >how is this possible give him every last cent >i no longer have a retirement fund fear strikes me as he leaves silently >do come back i say again Sloudsweating jpeg Si hope he never comes back >who is this demon
File: char 58483 ipg (10 KB, 210x240) ■ Anonymous 05/11/16(Wed)12:33:10 No.683783111 >be me saverage shopkeeper sgood location and good business new guy comes in, probably traveler stry to be nice to the new guy >Everythings for sale! this guy looks kind of sketchy She walks over my table to the counter she does not speak or blink show him everything i own my hands tremble as i feel fear she lays down 10 bloody armor pelts swhere did he get these si slowly pay for the items >he sells me out for every gold piece >he walks to the door without a word >walks directly through my fire pit She doesnt even flinch >do come back i say Si hope he never comes back go home for the night smy shop is filled with bloody armor >I lost all of my gold >traveler doesnt come back for days > one moming i go to my shop She is standing outside, motionless Show long has he been there >i walk up to him She is standing outside the door She does not blink or move i am too scared to ask him to move she doesnt move a muscle attempt to access the door i must squeeze around him Sim careful not to touch hinm slowly open the front door >i am finally in >my heart is pounding >i wonder how long he will stay >hours pass by before the door opens >mfw it comes in She says nothing, i feel true fear She presents 15 dragon bones >how is this possible give him every last cent >i no longer have a retirement fund fear strikes me as he leaves silently >do come back i say again Sloudsweating jpeg Si hope he never comes back >who is this demon

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skyrim demon traveler shop store

Beest Plates

File: babyplates.ipg (327 KB, 1500x1500) Anonymous 05/18/15(Mon)21:54:41 No.616562327 > be me > gf gave me $ to buy "fancy dinner plates" > had no idea what to buy looked on amazon for 2 hours > finally found something > "what you pick for us?1 A A > "wait and see" > 4 days later a package arrives > gf opens it > she pulls out a set of 8 kid plates with bees on them > starts shrieking and cussing me out calling me a f----- for wasting money on this s--- when she said she wanted GROWN UP PLATES > they never broke tho > cause theyre fine quality plates >they're really great plates > pic related its the plates
File: babyplates.ipg (327 KB, 1500x1500) Anonymous 05/18/15(Mon)21:54:41 No.616562327 > be me > gf gave me $ to buy "fancy dinner plates" > had no idea what to buy looked on amazon for 2 hours > finally found something > "what you pick for us?1 A A > "wait and see" > 4 days later a package arrives > gf opens it > she pulls out a set of 8 kid plates with bees on them > starts shrieking and cussing me out calling me a f----- for wasting money on this s--- when she said she wanted GROWN UP PLATES > they never broke tho > cause theyre fine quality plates >they're really great plates > pic related its the plates

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plate bee bees plates

Pizzabro

Anonymous (D: IkPlheAD) 11/11/14(Tue)09:38:34 No.57883 Story time, b/ >Be me >Be last night Smoking out my windom >See black silhouette running through my street into the park SHe's holding two frozen pizzas >whatthefuck.ext >Seconds later, group of 6 guys run after him "GIVE US THE F------ PIZZA" "THEYRE MY F------ PIZZAS" >Decide to check the park because f--- it Slanding on other side of the street the park is >See silhouette beat the s--- out of groupies with f------ frozen pizzas >FROZEN PIZZAS >4 guys on the ground, pizzabre stll cn some kung fu s--- >Two remaining guys take out knives >Pizzabro stabbed in the arm >Drops pizza >Decide f--- t" >Kick one of them behind the knee, he falls Stabs me in the leg IN THE LEG >l kick him in the head fuckmyleg jpg >Pizzabro beats up last guy >Guys run >Take pizzabro into apartment because he got f------ stabbed > Tell him we should call an ambulance "Nah f--- dat" We patch ourselves up >Bandages+duct tape-patched up >He gives me a pizza and leaves >Sit in couch thinking about what the f--- just happened >Got stabbed for a pizza "> Dj Anonymous (ID: File: 2014-11-1 Ehe 。) 11/11/1 4iTue)09:48:12 No.578835643 >-5788369572-578837018>>578837182 (1.28 MB, 1936x340C0) smy log >the pizza 口Anonymous (D:IHARD) 11/11/14(Tue)10:08:36 No 578837465▶>>57883761 325788377092573837870 File: 2014-11-11 16 , IkPtheA0 (732 KB, 1944x2592) 22578837018 Say what now
Anonymous (D: IkPlheAD) 11/11/14(Tue)09:38:34 No.57883 Story time, b/ >Be me >Be last night Smoking out my windom >See black silhouette running through my street into the park SHe's holding two frozen pizzas >whatthefuck.ext >Seconds later, group of 6 guys run after him "GIVE US THE F------ PIZZA" "THEYRE MY F------ PIZZAS" >Decide to check the park because f--- it Slanding on other side of the street the park is >See silhouette beat the s--- out of groupies with f------ frozen pizzas >FROZEN PIZZAS >4 guys on the ground, pizzabre stll cn some kung fu s--- >Two remaining guys take out knives >Pizzabro stabbed in the arm >Drops pizza >Decide f--- t" >Kick one of them behind the knee, he falls Stabs me in the leg IN THE LEG >l kick him in the head fuckmyleg jpg >Pizzabro beats up last guy >Guys run >Take pizzabro into apartment because he got f------ stabbed > Tell him we should call an ambulance "Nah f--- dat" We patch ourselves up >Bandages+duct tape-patched up >He gives me a pizza and leaves >Sit in couch thinking about what the f--- just happened >Got stabbed for a pizza "> Dj Anonymous (ID: File: 2014-11-1 Ehe 。) 11/11/1 4iTue)09:48:12 No.578835643 >-5788369572-578837018>>578837182 (1.28 MB, 1936x340C0) smy log >the pizza 口Anonymous (D:IHARD) 11/11/14(Tue)10:08:36 No 578837465▶>>57883761 325788377092573837870 File: 2014-11-11 16 , IkPtheA0 (732 KB, 1944x2592) 22578837018 Say what now

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pizza bro wat stab knife park

Train Call

File: 1348492837031ip-(874 KB, 17282592, IMAG0089CC.jpg) RARA □ Anonymous {ID: BCDVrBKR) 09/24/12(Mon)09:20:37 No 426918250 part 112 be on the train >siting next to falcat -fatcat is on tho phone fatcat trying to order a taxi >phone sional fails fatcat is mad phone signal is still horrible hird time's the charm hi this is fatcat, i taiked 1o you a tew moments ago signal is not that good, i'm on t the train fatcat leaves number >whynot.jpg -set private number on Pcalling fatcat >pleaseletherebesignal.gitT Oops!. did it again l played with your hea... snot sure if Britney Spears fan or even his phone sthis is fatcat, hallo. hallo" fatcat didn't realise i hung up on him right before he answered the phone sfatcal puts phone on table >callback Oops!.I did it aga... "this is fatcat. , anyone there?" speople startto get a bit annoyed as we are siting in the quiet zone fatcat is taking a power nap against the windov See n----- ticket checker comming this way. Anonymous (ID: BCDVIBKR) 09/24/12(Mon)og:21:42 No 426918315 File: 1348492902719.ipg-(937 KB, 1728x2592, IMAG0092CC.jpg) part 2/2 snigger ticket checker is about 30 reet away pleasehavesignal.png perfect timing niggerticket checker is right next to him when the phone starts nnging Oops!.I did it again unitt l played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh baby, ba... -fatcat ends call enigger ticket checker starts to laugh fatcat is grumpy -what are you laughing at?r 커liggel [iじkel checker is apullogíáng but slil iaighing snigger ticket checker moves on as we already showed our tickets once before -out of f------ nowhere fatcat slams his phone so hard his screen breaks Pthis is my stop right as rm passing him rm leting out a silent kilier tart -standing on the platform 00 king at him through the window smaking one last call STHIS IS FATCAT WHAT T WANT?! knocking on the window Peye contac Oops!. did it again l played with your heart got lost in the game Oh baby baby as soon as i stopped singing the train drove away and i hung up THE FUCKDOYou pic related its my fatcat Anonymous (ID: MmFopm53) 09/2412(Mon)09:23:40 No 426918206 10/10, would read again. Anonymous (ID: xoxqCMz0) o9:24/12(Mon)09 2421 No.426913496 Fatcat 24/9-2012 Never forget. · ㄩㄟㄧ-} □ Anonymous (ID: KC1pXrV) 09/24/12(Mon)09:24:24 No.426923604 File: 1348496931437 ipg-(8 KB, 2091200, 1341986918173.jpg) >> Coca-Cola Zero
File: 1348492837031ip-(874 KB, 17282592, IMAG0089CC.jpg) RARA □ Anonymous {ID: BCDVrBKR) 09/24/12(Mon)09:20:37 No 426918250 part 112 be on the train >siting next to falcat -fatcat is on tho phone fatcat trying to order a taxi >phone sional fails fatcat is mad phone signal is still horrible hird time's the charm hi this is fatcat, i taiked 1o you a tew moments ago signal is not that good, i'm on t the train fatcat leaves number >whynot.jpg -set private number on Pcalling fatcat >pleaseletherebesignal.gitT Oops!. did it again l played with your hea... snot sure if Britney Spears fan or even his phone sthis is fatcat, hallo. hallo" fatcat didn't realise i hung up on him right before he answered the phone sfatcal puts phone on table >callback Oops!.I did it aga... "this is fatcat. , anyone there?" speople startto get a bit annoyed as we are siting in the quiet zone fatcat is taking a power nap against the windov See n----- ticket checker comming this way. Anonymous (ID: BCDVIBKR) 09/24/12(Mon)og:21:42 No 426918315 File: 1348492902719.ipg-(937 KB, 1728x2592, IMAG0092CC.jpg) part 2/2 snigger ticket checker is about 30 reet away pleasehavesignal.png perfect timing niggerticket checker is right next to him when the phone starts nnging Oops!.I did it again unitt l played with your heart, got lost in the game Oh baby, ba... -fatcat ends call enigger ticket checker starts to laugh fatcat is grumpy -what are you laughing at?r 커liggel [iじkel checker is apullogíáng but slil iaighing snigger ticket checker moves on as we already showed our tickets once before -out of f------ nowhere fatcat slams his phone so hard his screen breaks Pthis is my stop right as rm passing him rm leting out a silent kilier tart -standing on the platform 00 king at him through the window smaking one last call STHIS IS FATCAT WHAT T WANT?! knocking on the window Peye contac Oops!. did it again l played with your heart got lost in the game Oh baby baby as soon as i stopped singing the train drove away and i hung up THE FUCKDOYou pic related its my fatcat Anonymous (ID: MmFopm53) 09/2412(Mon)09:23:40 No 426918206 10/10, would read again. Anonymous (ID: xoxqCMz0) o9:24/12(Mon)09 2421 No.426913496 Fatcat 24/9-2012 Never forget. · ㄩㄟㄧ-} □ Anonymous (ID: KC1pXrV) 09/24/12(Mon)09:24:24 No.426923604 File: 1348496931437 ipg-(8 KB, 2091200, 1341986918173.jpg) >> Coca-Cola Zero

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phone prank call train rage troll

> John Wick walks into the room. Command?

□ Anonymous 06/17/1 7(Sat)16:28:04 No. 7361 36523 >>7361 36763 >>7361 36884 227361 37096 >>7361 371 07 227361 37387 361 Turns out John wick has been hired to kill you You have one hour to prepare what do you do? >>736136523 (OP) kill my neighbor, start eating glass and hair as much of it as possible poliece arrest me and i now have a full department of cops and intense security nobody is going to r--- me, buthole full of glass and hair. another option would be innawoods >take knifes as i dont own a rifle >leave clear trail to where im going so he follows dig a foxhole but surround my area with anything dry that will snap when stepped on >lay in it sideways with knife held point up and the slurpee straw next to me in my mouth, preferably head will be in shrubbery >burry self >laying on side so rise and fall of my chest while breathing through the straw is not as visible swait there, s--- in my pants if i have to >when a stick near me snaps i spring out of the earth like a trapdoor spider armed with a 9" Bowie knife and the wrath of god File: 08 The Goatfather.gif (151 KB, 800x453) put "old yeller" on tv max volume put "where the red fern grows" on laptop, max volume sit in room with beautiful nylon string guitan when he enters i sing for him s-i know yer a hurtn but senpai ima blurtn, ill love you till the end of my days, through the hard times,n the good ones, holding hands in the suns rays he will instantly fall in love with me and we can raise our own litter of puppies. we will retire with the money we get from our book >"two massive f------ and a litter of puppies, a tale of redemption
□ Anonymous 06/17/1 7(Sat)16:28:04 No. 7361 36523 >>7361 36763 >>7361 36884 227361 37096 >>7361 371 07 227361 37387 361 Turns out John wick has been hired to kill you You have one hour to prepare what do you do? >>736136523 (OP) kill my neighbor, start eating glass and hair as much of it as possible poliece arrest me and i now have a full department of cops and intense security nobody is going to r--- me, buthole full of glass and hair. another option would be innawoods >take knifes as i dont own a rifle >leave clear trail to where im going so he follows dig a foxhole but surround my area with anything dry that will snap when stepped on >lay in it sideways with knife held point up and the slurpee straw next to me in my mouth, preferably head will be in shrubbery >burry self >laying on side so rise and fall of my chest while breathing through the straw is not as visible swait there, s--- in my pants if i have to >when a stick near me snaps i spring out of the earth like a trapdoor spider armed with a 9" Bowie knife and the wrath of god File: 08 The Goatfather.gif (151 KB, 800x453) put "old yeller" on tv max volume put "where the red fern grows" on laptop, max volume sit in room with beautiful nylon string guitan when he enters i sing for him s-i know yer a hurtn but senpai ima blurtn, ill love you till the end of my days, through the hard times,n the good ones, holding hands in the suns rays he will instantly fall in love with me and we can raise our own litter of puppies. we will retire with the money we get from our book >"two massive f------ and a litter of puppies, a tale of redemption

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john wick grass old yeller red fern

Goose is Loose

□ Anonymous 12/05/15 Sat 23:25:38 No.28 103985 22281 42472201043352) i S pet 342 28105936 )28 10 51 >live next to river >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean >likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one morning and look off our back deck >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staff >4 geese are hissing menacingly 2KKIⅢYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! >Korean guy charges >geese charge >today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow sone goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today he smashes its head >he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot asian fighting noises ums as red as it is possible he tums as red as i is possible for an asian to blush for an start clapping sian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house funniest s--- I've ever seen. the east no mercyktoday
□ Anonymous 12/05/15 Sat 23:25:38 No.28 103985 22281 42472201043352) i S pet 342 28105936 )28 10 51 >live next to river >geese swarm our yard every year >neighbor is korean >likes to practice martial arts in his back yard >go outside one morning and look off our back deck >korean is in dramatic martial arts pose with a staff >4 geese are hissing menacingly 2KKIⅢYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA! >Korean guy charges >geese charge >today the spirits of his warrior anscestors have posessed him, a flurry of blows follow sone goose dead, one with its wing hanging like its broken and the rest run away while broken winged one flops around honking >korean guy makes asian fighting noises while he twirls his staff over his head >the east will show no mercy today he smashes its head >he is breathing heavily and grinning like an idiot asian fighting noises ums as red as it is possible he tums as red as i is possible for an asian to blush for an start clapping sian to blush >hurriedly grabs two dead geese and sprints into his house funniest s--- I've ever seen. the east no mercyktoday

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goose fight kung fu

It's late at night here but here I am, posting saddening pics of tanks

-The metal that makes up my body has all rusted My engine has been sleeping since my last battle My cannon is non-fünctional >My vision ports are covered in moss >But it doesn't matter -The battle is long over >All I have to do now is to rest, and watch over the flo >My commander told me that flowers should not be trampled by tank trac Until my commander n field of flowe r thi
-The metal that makes up my body has all rusted My engine has been sleeping since my last battle My cannon is non-fünctional >My vision ports are covered in moss >But it doesn't matter -The battle is long over >All I have to do now is to rest, and watch over the flo >My commander told me that flowers should not be trampled by tank trac Until my commander n field of flowe r thi

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m41 walker bulldog field of flowers peace

Sleep tight, grandpa IS-2 T-T

>my cannon is rusted my engine is long-dead can barely see the vill rough the moss on my visors but I know that the village is still the do not worry vi witt keep you safe just like before: im just a bit tired, thats all:
>my cannon is rusted my engine is long-dead can barely see the vill rough the moss on my visors but I know that the village is still the do not worry vi witt keep you safe just like before: im just a bit tired, thats all:

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tanks is-2 iosif stalin

Countdown to Ecstasy

File: 1350359380711png-(286 KB, 800x896 6, feelthur.png) GI □ Anonymous (ID: LFqSsx91) 10/15/12/(Mon)20:49:40 UTC-7 No.430909276 >1 am >browsing for p--- >having a hard time finding something good >been fapping for almost an hour >find video of 10/10 goddess giving joi >tells me how to fap isn't a w---- about it >slow and sensual svoice is f------ velvet teases me >doesn't give me permission to c-- until she says so >ohgodfuckyes >worried that this video will get ruined by her saying something stupid and whorey >doesn't >she's a f------ goddess >gives me a countdown of when i get to c-- >ohgodicantholdit >please get to 1 stops at two to tease me >ohgodpleaseletmecum >pulls her mask off >it's bill f------ murray >"no one will ever believe you. now b------------- for me you f------ piggy" >best orgasm of my life
File: 1350359380711png-(286 KB, 800x896 6, feelthur.png) GI □ Anonymous (ID: LFqSsx91) 10/15/12/(Mon)20:49:40 UTC-7 No.430909276 >1 am >browsing for p--- >having a hard time finding something good >been fapping for almost an hour >find video of 10/10 goddess giving joi >tells me how to fap isn't a w---- about it >slow and sensual svoice is f------ velvet teases me >doesn't give me permission to c-- until she says so >ohgodfuckyes >worried that this video will get ruined by her saying something stupid and whorey >doesn't >she's a f------ goddess >gives me a countdown of when i get to c-- >ohgodicantholdit >please get to 1 stops at two to tease me >ohgodpleaseletmecum >pulls her mask off >it's bill f------ murray >"no one will ever believe you. now b------------- for me you f------ piggy" >best orgasm of my life

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countdown fap bill murray

Battleshitpost

Anonymous (ID: +HSrPhs8) 02/27/13(Wed)17:34:30 No.461742905 BATILES >Be 17 Miss 87 KB JPG
Anonymous (ID: +HSrPhs8) 02/27/13(Wed)17:34:30 No.461742905 BATILES >Be 17 Miss 87 KB JPG

Greentext Stories
battleship

Terrorism in Poland

>muslim terrorist attack in Poland >drive to Radom airport and want to blow yourself up realize that an airport is completely empty, literally no one is there >with sad face wanna go home >notice that your car was stolen >decide go on foot >it is evening, go to sleep next to the bus station >wake up and realize you got robbed >enter bigger city, wanna find police and ask them for help >get beaten by gentelmen in adidas tracksuit >finally find police and ask them for help >you have no documents, go to prison for 10 month:s >after 10 months get freed of charge >your assylum status in Sweden has ended, since you haven't been there for 6 months >get deported to Middle East
>muslim terrorist attack in Poland >drive to Radom airport and want to blow yourself up realize that an airport is completely empty, literally no one is there >with sad face wanna go home >notice that your car was stolen >decide go on foot >it is evening, go to sleep next to the bus station >wake up and realize you got robbed >enter bigger city, wanna find police and ask them for help >get beaten by gentelmen in adidas tracksuit >finally find police and ask them for help >you have no documents, go to prison for 10 month:s >after 10 months get freed of charge >your assylum status in Sweden has ended, since you haven't been there for 6 months >get deported to Middle East

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terrorism terrorist poland ironic

Architecture

File: articl (41 KB, 615x409) Anonymous (ID: M8Man5jo) 05/02/14(Fri)15:18:39 No.544778038 > be me, be an architect >boss of the studio i work for comes for a "quick job" > a customer has a pretty new house but wants some adjustment > boss hands me the customer a sheet with the specifics >look throught them, laught, comment "well, whatever, he's paying" > i'm given a week for the whole job > week passes, customer is in the studio > show the new drawings > ive added a nice "arbrech macht frei" to the front gate, to be done in a nice dark grey cast iron > a large swastica mosaic is to be done on the entrance floor, ive already contact a local mosaic artist third-reich eagles decorate the staircase and the very same eagle motif is used again on the courtains > if the customer wants to spend some more, ive sketched furher glass wall to be used in the living room > mfw he wanted an anti-seismic house mfw i read anti-semitic
File: articl (41 KB, 615x409) Anonymous (ID: M8Man5jo) 05/02/14(Fri)15:18:39 No.544778038 > be me, be an architect >boss of the studio i work for comes for a "quick job" > a customer has a pretty new house but wants some adjustment > boss hands me the customer a sheet with the specifics >look throught them, laught, comment "well, whatever, he's paying" > i'm given a week for the whole job > week passes, customer is in the studio > show the new drawings > ive added a nice "arbrech macht frei" to the front gate, to be done in a nice dark grey cast iron > a large swastica mosaic is to be done on the entrance floor, ive already contact a local mosaic artist third-reich eagles decorate the staircase and the very same eagle motif is used again on the courtains > if the customer wants to spend some more, ive sketched furher glass wall to be used in the living room > mfw he wanted an anti-seismic house mfw i read anti-semitic

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architecture house hitler swastica semitic

Ghost 💩

Anonymous No.643622648 1 hour ago High stories? >Be me, 17 >Going on a boat ride with my 2 bros >High as f--- off brownies >Sitting in some aluminum cheap ass chairs waiting >Taking it all in >Suddenly realize there's something between my thighs >Oh f--- I shat myself >Pretty f------ disappointed in myself >How the f--- did this happen Walk to the bathroom awkwardly so the s--- nugget doesn't fall out of my shorts >Bathroom is near the booth to get the tickets >Huge crowd >F--- man I'm too high for this. Have to pass through people whilst also trying to keep my legs closed >For a high person this is very frustrating >Get in bathroom >mfw it was just my balls mfw I spent 20 mins getting to the bathroom mfw I have no face
Anonymous No.643622648 1 hour ago High stories? >Be me, 17 >Going on a boat ride with my 2 bros >High as f--- off brownies >Sitting in some aluminum cheap ass chairs waiting >Taking it all in >Suddenly realize there's something between my thighs >Oh f--- I shat myself >Pretty f------ disappointed in myself >How the f--- did this happen Walk to the bathroom awkwardly so the s--- nugget doesn't fall out of my shorts >Bathroom is near the booth to get the tickets >Huge crowd >F--- man I'm too high for this. Have to pass through people whilst also trying to keep my legs closed >For a high person this is very frustrating >Get in bathroom >mfw it was just my balls mfw I spent 20 mins getting to the bathroom mfw I have no face

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high weed turd poo loo balls

Get high / lucky

Anonymous (ID: iVZUMVBi) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 There is mo heavon No.424844538 >walking home from school >see girl like also walking home grow the balls to walk up to her say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence aks me if I want to burn with her f--- yes go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed f--- yes Only Lavender Townsmoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her f--- yes we kiss grabs my d--- f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome sasks me to finger her >never fingered a girl feelsgood.jpg >asks me to >feelsbetter.jpg ask for 3 finger >does so sasks for my whole hand wut >still does so sasks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >It was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era sthat god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related
Anonymous (ID: iVZUMVBi) 09/12/12(Wed)19:38:38 There is mo heavon No.424844538 >walking home from school >see girl like also walking home grow the balls to walk up to her say hey to her >"Hi" >never really talked to her >awkward silence aks me if I want to burn with her f--- yes go to park >she pulls out an ounce of weed f--- yes Only Lavender Townsmoke 3 grams >high af >she asks me if I want to kiss her f--- yes we kiss grabs my d--- f--- yes >starts giving me a b------ >f------ awesome sasks me to finger her >never fingered a girl feelsgood.jpg >asks me to >feelsbetter.jpg ask for 3 finger >does so sasks for my whole hand wut >still does so sasks for both of my hands >more wut >does so >"I need more" >"what else do you need I have both my hands in your p----" >she looks me in the eye >"I need about tree fiddy" >It was about that time when I realized I had both of my hands in the vagina of a 8 storie tall crustacean from the paleozoic era sthat god damned loch ness monster had tricked me again pic not related

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high freak loch ness $3.50

Good roommate

purchasing a Seil-serve ad, of buying a TChan Fass Janitor acceptance emails will be sent out over the coming weeks. Make sure to check your spam box! Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] IAuto] 0/0/ 1/? File: my roomate.gif (499 KB, 483x325) ■ Anonymous 05/25/16(Wed)22:32:25 No.686223535 >Be me >Roommate leaves at 4:00 every day Wake up at 4.10 for no confrontation >Decide to j------- on couch in living > Watching webcam p--- while beating off >Roommates cat jumps on couch rubs up against me >Push cat off >Cat jumps back on couch >Grab cat >Decide to put cat in roommates room and close the door like I always do room because roommate is gonde >Cat in one hand, rubbing lotion boner with other hand to remain hard >Walk into roommates room to throw cat inside >Roommate called in sichk >See's me with his cat in one hand >Other hand working a lotion boner >Laugh >He screams Pic related Return] [Catalog] [Topl [Update] [Auto] Post a Reply] 0/0/ 1/?
purchasing a Seil-serve ad, of buying a TChan Fass Janitor acceptance emails will be sent out over the coming weeks. Make sure to check your spam box! Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] IAuto] 0/0/ 1/? File: my roomate.gif (499 KB, 483x325) ■ Anonymous 05/25/16(Wed)22:32:25 No.686223535 >Be me >Roommate leaves at 4:00 every day Wake up at 4.10 for no confrontation >Decide to j------- on couch in living > Watching webcam p--- while beating off >Roommates cat jumps on couch rubs up against me >Push cat off >Cat jumps back on couch >Grab cat >Decide to put cat in roommates room and close the door like I always do room because roommate is gonde >Cat in one hand, rubbing lotion boner with other hand to remain hard >Walk into roommates room to throw cat inside >Roommate called in sichk >See's me with his cat in one hand >Other hand working a lotion boner >Laugh >He screams Pic related Return] [Catalog] [Topl [Update] [Auto] Post a Reply] 0/0/ 1/?

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scream knife fap cat

Musketeer Cont'd

| Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 14058910 >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights flick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent "What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard" P2 □ Anonymous 03/24/11(Thu)17:48 No.14353245 File 1301003335.ipg-(76 KB, 737x583, 4.jpg) All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house □ Soth !!knPhGL26gr 02/27/11 (Sun)01:36 No. 14058930 231405 F------ EPIC □ Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:41 No.14058982 3>140 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS □ Anonymous 03/24/11(Thu)17:57 No.14353317 14353245 H--------, this is still being posted? I figure I owe /tg/ a bit of an update on these guys Their leader, O he of one eye and little common sense, nearly had his visa revoked for these kinds of shenanigans. One too many arrests meant that his right to stay in the country was contested and he had to go to court to defend himself and prevent his visa from being revoked I was his ride to court, and had to testify to the board that he shouldn't be deported for lack of common sense or social normality His defense? A written speech, about three pages long, about the rights of man, the education he has received here, and the opportunities for a one-eyed machinist. The spirit of his crimes were all in defense of people who would otherwise suffer. For other witnesses, he had some of the random people he'd helped out, including one memorable point where a woman, nearly on the verge of tears pointed out how he'd taken on a guy threatening to r--- her and carrying a knife by whipping out a fencing saber, disarming him, and mocking him in his thick Swedish accent so that the girl could call the cops. Something like a dozen people all showed up, explaining how this dude, despite his eccentricities, made the country better. He was not deported, and lives here to this very day, stalking the streets in musketeer garb, rescuing drunks, and dispensing his own brand of justice
| Anonymous 02/27/11 (Sun)01:34 No. 14058910 >Walking home from party late one evening >Several guys were following me, as my drunk ass managed to piss them off by existing Try to walk faster, to no avail, as I'm drunk as s--- >Catch me in some random college student neighborhood >Oh s---, my ass is about to be beaten >Still in talking phase >Lights flick on in the house >Three guys in full musketeer garb walk out >Leader is some blond guy with a beard, eyepatch, and some weird-ass accent "What sort of ruffians would be accosting someone outside our residence? Stand and deliver!" >Guys start yelling at them to f--- off, that I deserved to get my ass beaten >Very well, then. Draw steel, you blackguard" P2 □ Anonymous 03/24/11(Thu)17:48 No.14353245 File 1301003335.ipg-(76 KB, 737x583, 4.jpg) All three of them draw rapiers on their belts >Guys run know not why those foul men sought your harm, but come and tell us the tale, stranger!" >Spend remainder of evening drinking mulled wine with lunatics >Bunch of Swedish re-enactors live there >Blond guy is actually missing an eye; lost it in a machine shop accident >Stagger home completely drunk with a hat I have no idea people like that existed. Or had the money to rent a house □ Soth !!knPhGL26gr 02/27/11 (Sun)01:36 No. 14058930 231405 F------ EPIC □ Anonymous 02/27/11(Sun)01:41 No.14058982 3>140 THIS A THOUSAND TIMES THIS □ Anonymous 03/24/11(Thu)17:57 No.14353317 14353245 H--------, this is still being posted? I figure I owe /tg/ a bit of an update on these guys Their leader, O he of one eye and little common sense, nearly had his visa revoked for these kinds of shenanigans. One too many arrests meant that his right to stay in the country was contested and he had to go to court to defend himself and prevent his visa from being revoked I was his ride to court, and had to testify to the board that he shouldn't be deported for lack of common sense or social normality His defense? A written speech, about three pages long, about the rights of man, the education he has received here, and the opportunities for a one-eyed machinist. The spirit of his crimes were all in defense of people who would otherwise suffer. For other witnesses, he had some of the random people he'd helped out, including one memorable point where a woman, nearly on the verge of tears pointed out how he'd taken on a guy threatening to r--- her and carrying a knife by whipping out a fencing saber, disarming him, and mocking him in his thick Swedish accent so that the girl could call the cops. Something like a dozen people all showed up, explaining how this dude, despite his eccentricities, made the country better. He was not deported, and lives here to this very day, stalking the streets in musketeer garb, rescuing drunks, and dispensing his own brand of justice

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musketeer court victory

SLO-mo dick whip

: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)1 2:38:16 No.699741454 >>699735884 (OP) # get iPhone 5s >play with slow motion video >hit erect d--- on dresser >watched replay >f------ sweet thought gf would like to see. >video doesn't send in slow motion >normal paced video of me beating the f--- out of my dresser with my c---. >gf thinks I'm a psycho. >breaks up with me. >If it wasn't so funny, I would have cared. >>69974 1592# >>69974 1696 # >>69974 1789 # >>69974 1902 # >>699741980 #
: Anonymous 08/16/16(Tue)1 2:38:16 No.699741454 >>699735884 (OP) # get iPhone 5s >play with slow motion video >hit erect d--- on dresser >watched replay >f------ sweet thought gf would like to see. >video doesn't send in slow motion >normal paced video of me beating the f--- out of my dresser with my c---. >gf thinks I'm a psycho. >breaks up with me. >If it wasn't so funny, I would have cared. >>69974 1592# >>69974 1696 # >>69974 1789 # >>69974 1902 # >>699741980 #

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slow motion girlfriend

Blackbro

. File: 1395371377016g-(15 KB, 350x265, 3558329024 474352014 badp) Anonymous (ID. ALF1AXU) 03/21/14(Fri)03:09:37 UTC No 538216537 PTreveling to friends house for holideys. Tweve hours so lar, driving through the night PAI night, this littlo s--- about ten, hes boen screeming and acting up >Playing Pokemon on his 3DS, announces every afteck in hormble screeching voice, sound effects included Four hours in the batery dies bus has power ports so his Mom puts on charger >Kid uriggling sbout and btching beceuse the battery doesnt charge quickly enough to keep playing right ewey Goes up to several other people in the bus Give me your phone "I wan your geme Mosl people gnore him, some poltely say no. Ha tries to take them anyway Big black dude with iPad tels kid to ga sit down when kid tries to take >Mom not pleased: 거ey don't you dare speak to my son like that you ape You probably cant even use that property." >Back dude p-----, but obiously used to this s---. Also has prety proper accant, Fresh Prince s--- yPiease Ma'am, don't hold us responstie for彻lusing you' child when it was your pour lu gernentto believe your prom debe woukd pukuL 0g >Mom about to叩e, Blackbro smling" od trying to steel another lads PSP Bus driver tels everybody to calm dowm or they'l gel kicked off Kid sits back down, but stil bitches unti he ean play again Doesnt know how to pay the game, keeps geting ass kicked by computer Continugd AnonymouS D: ALF1AXld) 03/21/14(Fny3:20:51 UTC No. 538218309 Repss: 225313885 -Get a few hours of sleep, neck f----- all week from seats >BAM next morning, bus puls into smat shopping ilag >Kid wnke up an hour ago, usual s--- going an, evarybody visibly p----- al him and his Mam Pul ino gas station'shopping center -Everybody wandering around, getting breakfast FKd sust puling stuff off the shelves and stuffing his face with Loops around the slore, around and around >His Mom is just sitting by the coffee stand at the store entrance, reading her tny fuckoing novel at one pege every ben minutes He starts swearing with the full yocabulary of a angsty teenager, knocking stuf off stands and displays with his anms -Tes in the aisle next to the one he's n, neer the end >A few stray cens of vagetables are siting in the speace under the shef Continued. Anonymous (D: ALF1AXid) 03/21/14(Fry3:24:48 UTC No 539218980 Repiss: 2253312231) >Go for goks, lean down, slide can under shet and into next ask Drect hit, hts his left foot and sends him into half 려 cartwheel while stil mertainng forward momentum >F------ swoar, ho looks o a cartoon, comploboly horizontal airtma But then grevity ipg Hts floor, keeps going thanks to super polished les On look.a giant pyramid 며 some liquid snap Estra value, galon botles. Dis gon be good >Into the bese he goes, bottles craish doun around hm >Caos ay off, so steadily pudding around him Mommy dearest sees this, goes into ful sprnt If the soap didnt break anything, her body sliding inlo him wold -She is just stunned, while he's crying and trying to run away >3l sipping around, can't get footing >Slore ownars running to assist while all the passengers are laughing at the two stooges doing their prat fal act >Bleck dude drops cless act and goes al "Ehit homief" on me. As much as wo beggod for him to liavo, bus drhor rotusod to lesve witho a the kid and m >She emerges from the store, looloing like Shrek had bukkaked her 가kid has massive bruise along al the len side of his face trom her he hit the noor -She peels matted hair off her face s"I will find out which one of you did this to my darting, baby boy PiTT, not in a store without securay cameras bich Continusd Anonymous (ID: ALF1AXId) 03/21 14(F3.35.42 UTC No 533220593 Reps: 220321003 2I3221120 2211 221 231822 114 22516221040 >Back on the bus, rding a high from nearly slaughterng the antichrist. -Four hours left, and廿 en vve transfer onso another bus >Kid sha bitching, but this time about his entine body aching Shoud be annoying, but is just music to al of us He talls aseep the rest of te way, I get in some shuleye too atter a s--- nigh >Wake up as bus puls into some small s------- of a town -we all get ofr, some leave, some se and wait for the next bus Mom is very obviously p-----, sticky, tired, and sore After sitting there for half an hour, fuming silenthy You did this didn't you you savage >He calmly denies She's on a rant, pointing at people ike her finger can shoot bulets Few of the locals are hanging around -Sho isnt stupid enough to biatantly say anything raciest to Blaclhro, who is slit calm as fuok Back and forth, she yeis, he denies >Finaly, she says "Ive had it with you people Starts walking oway >Blacktro "What do you mean you people?" It was obvious to everybody she only meant the other passengers, but Blackbro just used the Niggermancers special trap card Stay tuned for the grand finish 凵 Anonymous (ID ALF1AXld) 03/21/14(Fri)03.43 24 UTC №53822 185 1 Repias 2253ZZ211122A8222122aRa She's had it S"I mean you f------ fithy, kid beating niggor! >On and on she goes、spoutng ngger enough to embarass Dave Chappelle >Aher a couple of minules she runs out of brealh and slows down Blacldoro Shouldn't havo said niggar lady on why, you gonns beat me too you f------ monkey?" Blackbro, "I'm not sSits hack, opens up newspeper and starts reating Mom just confused for a moment, but then turns around Fsmernber how E mentioned that al the kcas were black Three portly Shanayneys, doled up in slutty makeup, Take nals and leopard print Where yuu think you goin' honey? >Nigress Unit #1 swings into her ston ach, Mom bends over in par. >Ngress Uihg #2 comes in and kicks her in the left shin. ㎞ocking her foot off balance. >As she fel 9·Nigress Unit 3 comes forward and grabs her by her, edding to her inomentum >Facs lands squarely on Unit #3S giant tree trunk leg knee She's out, kid's erying, crowd begins to disperse PI buy Bleckbro lunch >Bus shows up just around the time the cops do, we all get on and book it as Mom comas to >She begins to n after the bus as starts, but realises te futility and turns back PLast we see of her is her scresming at her Rid I remember her mentioning the trip was about imporlant business, lol f--- her. I stil see Blackbro every time I close my eyes THE END (Have other stories if requested.)
. File: 1395371377016g-(15 KB, 350x265, 3558329024 474352014 badp) Anonymous (ID. ALF1AXU) 03/21/14(Fri)03:09:37 UTC No 538216537 PTreveling to friends house for holideys. Tweve hours so lar, driving through the night PAI night, this littlo s--- about ten, hes boen screeming and acting up >Playing Pokemon on his 3DS, announces every afteck in hormble screeching voice, sound effects included Four hours in the batery dies bus has power ports so his Mom puts on charger >Kid uriggling sbout and btching beceuse the battery doesnt charge quickly enough to keep playing right ewey Goes up to several other people in the bus Give me your phone "I wan your geme Mosl people gnore him, some poltely say no. Ha tries to take them anyway Big black dude with iPad tels kid to ga sit down when kid tries to take >Mom not pleased: 거ey don't you dare speak to my son like that you ape You probably cant even use that property." >Back dude p-----, but obiously used to this s---. Also has prety proper accant, Fresh Prince s--- yPiease Ma'am, don't hold us responstie for彻lusing you' child when it was your pour lu gernentto believe your prom debe woukd pukuL 0g >Mom about to叩e, Blackbro smling" od trying to steel another lads PSP Bus driver tels everybody to calm dowm or they'l gel kicked off Kid sits back down, but stil bitches unti he ean play again Doesnt know how to pay the game, keeps geting ass kicked by computer Continugd AnonymouS D: ALF1AXld) 03/21/14(Fny3:20:51 UTC No. 538218309 Repss: 225313885 -Get a few hours of sleep, neck f----- all week from seats >BAM next morning, bus puls into smat shopping ilag >Kid wnke up an hour ago, usual s--- going an, evarybody visibly p----- al him and his Mam Pul ino gas station'shopping center -Everybody wandering around, getting breakfast FKd sust puling stuff off the shelves and stuffing his face with Loops around the slore, around and around >His Mom is just sitting by the coffee stand at the store entrance, reading her tny fuckoing novel at one pege every ben minutes He starts swearing with the full yocabulary of a angsty teenager, knocking stuf off stands and displays with his anms -Tes in the aisle next to the one he's n, neer the end >A few stray cens of vagetables are siting in the speace under the shef Continued. Anonymous (D: ALF1AXid) 03/21/14(Fry3:24:48 UTC No 539218980 Repiss: 2253312231) >Go for goks, lean down, slide can under shet and into next ask Drect hit, hts his left foot and sends him into half 려 cartwheel while stil mertainng forward momentum >F------ swoar, ho looks o a cartoon, comploboly horizontal airtma But then grevity ipg Hts floor, keeps going thanks to super polished les On look.a giant pyramid 며 some liquid snap Estra value, galon botles. Dis gon be good >Into the bese he goes, bottles craish doun around hm >Caos ay off, so steadily pudding around him Mommy dearest sees this, goes into ful sprnt If the soap didnt break anything, her body sliding inlo him wold -She is just stunned, while he's crying and trying to run away >3l sipping around, can't get footing >Slore ownars running to assist while all the passengers are laughing at the two stooges doing their prat fal act >Bleck dude drops cless act and goes al "Ehit homief" on me. As much as wo beggod for him to liavo, bus drhor rotusod to lesve witho a the kid and m >She emerges from the store, looloing like Shrek had bukkaked her 가kid has massive bruise along al the len side of his face trom her he hit the noor -She peels matted hair off her face s"I will find out which one of you did this to my darting, baby boy PiTT, not in a store without securay cameras bich Continusd Anonymous (ID: ALF1AXId) 03/21 14(F3.35.42 UTC No 533220593 Reps: 220321003 2I3221120 2211 221 231822 114 22516221040 >Back on the bus, rding a high from nearly slaughterng the antichrist. -Four hours left, and廿 en vve transfer onso another bus >Kid sha bitching, but this time about his entine body aching Shoud be annoying, but is just music to al of us He talls aseep the rest of te way, I get in some shuleye too atter a s--- nigh >Wake up as bus puls into some small s------- of a town -we all get ofr, some leave, some se and wait for the next bus Mom is very obviously p-----, sticky, tired, and sore After sitting there for half an hour, fuming silenthy You did this didn't you you savage >He calmly denies She's on a rant, pointing at people ike her finger can shoot bulets Few of the locals are hanging around -Sho isnt stupid enough to biatantly say anything raciest to Blaclhro, who is slit calm as fuok Back and forth, she yeis, he denies >Finaly, she says "Ive had it with you people Starts walking oway >Blacktro "What do you mean you people?" It was obvious to everybody she only meant the other passengers, but Blackbro just used the Niggermancers special trap card Stay tuned for the grand finish 凵 Anonymous (ID ALF1AXld) 03/21/14(Fri)03.43 24 UTC №53822 185 1 Repias 2253ZZ211122A8222122aRa She's had it S"I mean you f------ fithy, kid beating niggor! >On and on she goes、spoutng ngger enough to embarass Dave Chappelle >Aher a couple of minules she runs out of brealh and slows down Blacldoro Shouldn't havo said niggar lady on why, you gonns beat me too you f------ monkey?" Blackbro, "I'm not sSits hack, opens up newspeper and starts reating Mom just confused for a moment, but then turns around Fsmernber how E mentioned that al the kcas were black Three portly Shanayneys, doled up in slutty makeup, Take nals and leopard print Where yuu think you goin' honey? >Nigress Unit #1 swings into her ston ach, Mom bends over in par. >Ngress Uihg #2 comes in and kicks her in the left shin. ㎞ocking her foot off balance. >As she fel 9·Nigress Unit 3 comes forward and grabs her by her, edding to her inomentum >Facs lands squarely on Unit #3S giant tree trunk leg knee She's out, kid's erying, crowd begins to disperse PI buy Bleckbro lunch >Bus shows up just around the time the cops do, we all get on and book it as Mom comas to >She begins to n after the bus as starts, but realises te futility and turns back PLast we see of her is her scresming at her Rid I remember her mentioning the trip was about imporlant business, lol f--- her. I stil see Blackbro every time I close my eyes THE END (Have other stories if requested.)

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blackbro bro bus black racist whuppin

Everything went better than expected.

File: 1334797055.ipa-(33 KB, 500x500, 1330853175379jpg) □ Anonymous (ID: by9VNsb) 04/18/12(Wed)20:57:35 No.39431 0219 Cool black people stories 2 >be at friends house, he's black sturns out he has like 4 other black friends over swe all joke around, having a good time sdrinking some mtdew in a cup all of the sudden i get too worked up sthe word n----- slips out of my mouth room is dead f------ silent sbegin to sweat, looking around nervously oh s--- oh f--- sfriend looks at me thuh f--- dju just say, bitch? >serious face, he looks p----- NGSER Whoah, dude. Sorry. S---. him and his friends get super f------ scary and serious friend turns to this HUGE n---- friend behind him yo man, ice dis n----. she starts walking towards me >im scared shitless she comes real close to me leans down in my face >puts ice in my mt dew sentire house echoes with n----- laughter now that I think about it, it was pretty goddamn funny
File: 1334797055.ipa-(33 KB, 500x500, 1330853175379jpg) □ Anonymous (ID: by9VNsb) 04/18/12(Wed)20:57:35 No.39431 0219 Cool black people stories 2 >be at friends house, he's black sturns out he has like 4 other black friends over swe all joke around, having a good time sdrinking some mtdew in a cup all of the sudden i get too worked up sthe word n----- slips out of my mouth room is dead f------ silent sbegin to sweat, looking around nervously oh s--- oh f--- sfriend looks at me thuh f--- dju just say, bitch? >serious face, he looks p----- NGSER Whoah, dude. Sorry. S---. him and his friends get super f------ scary and serious friend turns to this HUGE n---- friend behind him yo man, ice dis n----. she starts walking towards me >im scared shitless she comes real close to me leans down in my face >puts ice in my mt dew sentire house echoes with n----- laughter now that I think about it, it was pretty goddamn funny

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4chan black people reversal plot twist disappointed black guy