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Meteorologists Report Sky Just A Little Bluer Today, And It's Because Minneapolis Resident Doug Bramowski's In Love NEWS Weather Local Love ISSUE 49-30 Jul 25, 2013 386 70 39
Meteorologists Report Sky Just A Little Bluer Today, And It's Because Minneapolis Resident Doug Bramowski's In Love NEWS Weather Local Love ISSUE 49-30 Jul 25, 2013 386 70 39

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doug

COMMENTARY No One Should Have The Right To Die Until God Is Done Toying With Them BY AMY FOSTER
COMMENTARY No One Should Have The Right To Die Until God Is Done Toying With Them BY AMY FOSTER

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euthanasia god dark humor

te ONION America's Finest News Source F--- Everything, Nation Reports Just F--- It All To Hell NEWS News ISSUE 48.50 Dec 14, 2012
te ONION America's Finest News Source F--- Everything, Nation Reports Just F--- It All To Hell NEWS News ISSUE 48.50 Dec 14, 2012

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giving up usa

Guard In Video Game Under Strict Orders to Repeatedly Pace Same Stretch of Hallway

Guard In Video Game Under Strict Orders To Repeatedly Pace Same Stretch Of Hallway NEWS IN BRIEF Science & Technology Video Games Technology ISSUE 50 41 Oct 14, 2014 Share on Facebook 13 Share on Twitter
Guard In Video Game Under Strict Orders To Repeatedly Pace Same Stretch Of Hallway NEWS IN BRIEF Science & Technology Video Games Technology ISSUE 50 41 Oct 14, 2014 Share on Facebook 13 Share on Twitter

The Onion
metal gear solid solid snake metal gear the onion

"Original article here":http://www.theonion.com/articles/police-pleasantly-surprised-to-learn-man-they-shot,37170/
"Original article here":http://www.theonion.com/articles/police-pleasantly-surprised-to-learn-man-they-shot,37170/

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gun police the onion onion police brutality handgun

It's true.

Friend Who Sent Link To 8-Minute YouTube Video Must Be F------ Delusional NEWS IN BRIEF Local. Friends Social Media ISSUE 49.20 May 15, 2013 4.1K 1.2K SALEM, OR-Sources confirmed that local man Paul Gallagher emailed friends a link to an eight-minute-long YouTube video Wednesday, evidently experiencing some kind of psychotic break that left him deluded enough to believe people would want to watch the whole goddamned thing 1s he out of his f------ mind? link recipient Stephen Dunstable said after reading the email's instruction to "be sure to watch all the way to the end." "Because he'd have to be be crazy enough-but eight? And the a------ doesn't even tell us what point we should cue it up to if we just want to watch the best part. I honestly don't know what planet this guy is living on. Later on, while procrastinating at work, Dunstable reportedly watched the video in its entirety and admitted it was "actually kind of good."
Friend Who Sent Link To 8-Minute YouTube Video Must Be F------ Delusional NEWS IN BRIEF Local. Friends Social Media ISSUE 49.20 May 15, 2013 4.1K 1.2K SALEM, OR-Sources confirmed that local man Paul Gallagher emailed friends a link to an eight-minute-long YouTube video Wednesday, evidently experiencing some kind of psychotic break that left him deluded enough to believe people would want to watch the whole goddamned thing 1s he out of his f------ mind? link recipient Stephen Dunstable said after reading the email's instruction to "be sure to watch all the way to the end." "Because he'd have to be be crazy enough-but eight? And the a------ doesn't even tell us what point we should cue it up to if we just want to watch the best part. I honestly don't know what planet this guy is living on. Later on, while procrastinating at work, Dunstable reportedly watched the video in its entirety and admitted it was "actually kind of good."

The Onion
youtube the onion delusional 8 minute video

CIA Realizes It's Been Using Black Highlighters All These Years

"Imgur":http://imgur.com/8tmP4aS
"Imgur":http://imgur.com/8tmP4aS

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cia censorship confidential documents

Grotesque Child Born With Only 99% Normal Human DNA

<a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/grotesque-child-born-with-only-99-normal-human-dna,34971/">The Onion</a>
<a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/grotesque-child-born-with-only-99-normal-human-dna,34971/">The Onion</a>

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the onion dna chimpanzee mutant grotesque genetics human ape

Obama Not Ruling Out U.S. Military Action In Congress

<a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-not-ruling-out-us-military-action-in-congres,34946/?ref=auto">The Onion</a>
<a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/obama-not-ruling-out-us-military-action-in-congres,34946/?ref=auto">The Onion</a>

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the onion barack obama united states congress

Hi, In The Past 2 Years, You Have Allowed Me To Kill 70,000 People COMMENTARY Syria Opinion ISSUE 49.13 Mar 25, 2013 By Bashar Al-Assad years, you-the citizens of the world and their governments-have allowed me to kill 70,000 people. You read that correctly: I am an individual who has murdered 70,000 human beings since March 2011, and you have watched it happen and done nothing
Hi, In The Past 2 Years, You Have Allowed Me To Kill 70,000 People COMMENTARY Syria Opinion ISSUE 49.13 Mar 25, 2013 By Bashar Al-Assad years, you-the citizens of the world and their governments-have allowed me to kill 70,000 people. You read that correctly: I am an individual who has murdered 70,000 human beings since March 2011, and you have watched it happen and done nothing

The Onion
bashar al-assad dictator oppression laissez-faire realpolitik syria repression massacre

The Onion @TheOnion BREAKING: #TheOnion readership mass confusion as Syrian Electronic Army takes over. All demand a permanent column. pic.twitter.com/AHVMdoJudG 2m the ONION View photo The Onion @TheOnion Poland to double flights from the Middle East, anticipating Israeli 5m the ONION mass exodus. "The bagel bakery ovens are working over time" Larry Expand The Onion @TheOnion The #Onion CEO: "We regret taking zionist money to defame Syria now the hackers are up our ass" onion.com/JQiKzL Expand 9m the ONION 12m The Onion @TheOnion UN's Ban Ki Moon condemns Syria for being struck by israel: "lt was the ONION in the way of Jewish missiles onion.com/104PKAs Expand 16m The Onion @TheOnion NASA: 9th planet discovered and identified as the Qatari Emir the ONION Hamad Bin Khalifah onion.com/JQyVin pic.twitter.com/9ltduc8quD View photo 21m The Onion @TheOnion Israel denies forging new alliance with Al Qaeda: "We were friends the QNioN all along, so it can't be new" IDF Spokesperson onion.com/LZuAvY Expand
The Onion @TheOnion BREAKING: #TheOnion readership mass confusion as Syrian Electronic Army takes over. All demand a permanent column. pic.twitter.com/AHVMdoJudG 2m the ONION View photo The Onion @TheOnion Poland to double flights from the Middle East, anticipating Israeli 5m the ONION mass exodus. "The bagel bakery ovens are working over time" Larry Expand The Onion @TheOnion The #Onion CEO: "We regret taking zionist money to defame Syria now the hackers are up our ass" onion.com/JQiKzL Expand 9m the ONION 12m The Onion @TheOnion UN's Ban Ki Moon condemns Syria for being struck by israel: "lt was the ONION in the way of Jewish missiles onion.com/104PKAs Expand 16m The Onion @TheOnion NASA: 9th planet discovered and identified as the Qatari Emir the ONION Hamad Bin Khalifah onion.com/JQyVin pic.twitter.com/9ltduc8quD View photo 21m The Onion @TheOnion Israel denies forging new alliance with Al Qaeda: "We were friends the QNioN all along, so it can't be new" IDF Spokesperson onion.com/LZuAvY Expand

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"http://www.theonion.com/articles/gallup-poll-rural-whites-prefer-ahmadinejad-to-oba,29677/":http://www.theonion.com/articles/gallup-poll-rural-whites-prefer-ahmadinejad-to-oba,29677/ "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fars_News_Agency":http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fars_News_Agency
"http://www.theonion.com/articles/gallup-poll-rural-whites-prefer-ahmadinejad-to-oba,29677/":http://www.theonion.com/articles/gallup-poll-rural-whites-prefer-ahmadinejad-to-oba,29677/ "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fars_News_Agency":http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fars_News_Agency

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Uneducated Forklift Driver

e the ONION AMERCAS FINEST 0 CENTS 111서11] INSIUneducated New MTV Show Nboud isios moNation On Rush Limbugh Radio Show Forklift Driver To Address 6 Watch MTV Big Cal-In Address Scheduled For 1:11 Hit Among ldiots To 114 p.m. EST Who Watch MTV Nation Eagerly Awaits Ohio Man's Profound Insight Into Current Events LIMA Os-yiewdn t rust is y making inal preparations for said rm hin ininE OO1am ery ach looking for wand te bearing Mr via teleph And believe insigts ad trenchant social Shytinski, at has been e, with all eBg Nas he and pelitical e a Tis is a man whe has e bawill apeaik So an xpect the Chieft More bke ae to national It ever address so as not to inberfese theee were man whowith hs3 pm vewing o gram shortly afer 1pm IST ly anbicipating the hoich toexs s vis it t of the bathroon
e the ONION AMERCAS FINEST 0 CENTS 111서11] INSIUneducated New MTV Show Nboud isios moNation On Rush Limbugh Radio Show Forklift Driver To Address 6 Watch MTV Big Cal-In Address Scheduled For 1:11 Hit Among ldiots To 114 p.m. EST Who Watch MTV Nation Eagerly Awaits Ohio Man's Profound Insight Into Current Events LIMA Os-yiewdn t rust is y making inal preparations for said rm hin ininE OO1am ery ach looking for wand te bearing Mr via teleph And believe insigts ad trenchant social Shytinski, at has been e, with all eBg Nas he and pelitical e a Tis is a man whe has e bawill apeaik So an xpect the Chieft More bke ae to national It ever address so as not to inberfese theee were man whowith hs3 pm vewing o gram shortly afer 1pm IST ly anbicipating the hoich toexs s vis it t of the bathroon

The Onion
the onion

HOLY SHIT

EDITION Monday FINEST AMERICAN NEWS SOURCE MAN WALKS ON F------ MOON NEIL ARMSTRONG'S HISTORIC FIRST WORDS ON MOON: HOLY LIVING F--- THE MOON esus f------ | down in the moon's low-gravity The distant, lonely, mysterious colleague on the lunar surface. mankind since the dawn of time ecstatic Aldrin said, pumping astronauts Neil Armstrong and"It's like I told you on the way down on the Sea of Tranquility his shipmate. "Remember?I told in the lunar module Eagle and you this was going to be f------ radioed back to Earth the his- amazing. Armstrong and Aldrin then you-on-your-ass resplendence of made final technical and psy-their situation before returning chological preparations for the to the capsule Their intense 18 un-f-------believableness o month NASA training period- the next phase of the operation, the primary function of which was to train the pair to deal with Above: Neil Armstrong on the surface of the f------ moon. sion, Armstrong slowly descend- sion-proved effective, though ed the four steps leading out of at one point Armstrong had to one small but epoch-making breaths, "just so I don't f------ "Holyving fuek Are youThe two were able to keep from NASA headquarters nearly rock samples, which earthbound cking-lutely am standing on could not even begin to f------ goddamned f------ moon. Jesus American flag n the ground "Holy mother of f---," the first part: This plaque, placed here Roger, no fueking doubt aboutfrom he planet around which TRANQUILITY: It was a smooth The Earth as seen from-Holy Jesus-the surface of the moon. tu the surface of the f------ moon. conceive Lunar Module footpads de-ving (long pause) f---. (Long Lovell replied. "A-f-------firrest undisturbed on this spot for the next 100 million years. High Eight minutes ater, as Arm holy liing f---. Can you believe hook up Lunar Equipmentpause.) H-------- strong gleefully bounced up and that s---?" ressed one or two inches. TRANQUILITY: I abso-f------- Platftorm lined up. checking step, and im.e Puck. (eng face of the f------ moon. I a WE CAN PUT A MAN ON THE HOUSTO)W. Everything okay. oldating. dakineg f------ mon sMOON, BUT WE CAN'T BOMB TRANQUILITY: Am descending pause.) tusiyoNi Siey. ower (ongHoUSTroiolyhickt basikA TINY ASIAN NATION INTO THE STONE AGE?
EDITION Monday FINEST AMERICAN NEWS SOURCE MAN WALKS ON F------ MOON NEIL ARMSTRONG'S HISTORIC FIRST WORDS ON MOON: HOLY LIVING F--- THE MOON esus f------ | down in the moon's low-gravity The distant, lonely, mysterious colleague on the lunar surface. mankind since the dawn of time ecstatic Aldrin said, pumping astronauts Neil Armstrong and"It's like I told you on the way down on the Sea of Tranquility his shipmate. "Remember?I told in the lunar module Eagle and you this was going to be f------ radioed back to Earth the his- amazing. Armstrong and Aldrin then you-on-your-ass resplendence of made final technical and psy-their situation before returning chological preparations for the to the capsule Their intense 18 un-f-------believableness o month NASA training period- the next phase of the operation, the primary function of which was to train the pair to deal with Above: Neil Armstrong on the surface of the f------ moon. sion, Armstrong slowly descend- sion-proved effective, though ed the four steps leading out of at one point Armstrong had to one small but epoch-making breaths, "just so I don't f------ "Holyving fuek Are youThe two were able to keep from NASA headquarters nearly rock samples, which earthbound cking-lutely am standing on could not even begin to f------ goddamned f------ moon. Jesus American flag n the ground "Holy mother of f---," the first part: This plaque, placed here Roger, no fueking doubt aboutfrom he planet around which TRANQUILITY: It was a smooth The Earth as seen from-Holy Jesus-the surface of the moon. tu the surface of the f------ moon. conceive Lunar Module footpads de-ving (long pause) f---. (Long Lovell replied. "A-f-------firrest undisturbed on this spot for the next 100 million years. High Eight minutes ater, as Arm holy liing f---. Can you believe hook up Lunar Equipmentpause.) H-------- strong gleefully bounced up and that s---?" ressed one or two inches. TRANQUILITY: I abso-f------- Platftorm lined up. checking step, and im.e Puck. (eng face of the f------ moon. I a WE CAN PUT A MAN ON THE HOUSTO)W. Everything okay. oldating. dakineg f------ mon sMOON, BUT WE CAN'T BOMB TRANQUILITY: Am descending pause.) tusiyoNi Siey. ower (ongHoUSTroiolyhickt basikA TINY ASIAN NATION INTO THE STONE AGE?

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moon apollo 11 neil armstrong newspaper

LATE EDITION le KENNEDY SLAIN BY CIA MAFIA, CASTRO, LBJ, TEAMSTERS, FREEMASONS President Shot 129 Times from 43 Different Angles
LATE EDITION le KENNEDY SLAIN BY CIA MAFIA, CASTRO, LBJ, TEAMSTERS, FREEMASONS President Shot 129 Times from 43 Different Angles

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the ONION VIDEO SPORTS NEWS BEAT | MORE ▼ | SOCIAL ▼ AV, Club-Store-Dating ★Con America's Finest News Source SPECIAL REPORT: COMMON PARTNERS ITS LIKE MARRIAGE ONLY WITH BULLETS. LAW oer nnocarl COMMON LAWTONIGHIT T Ua NEW ORIGINAL SERIES ONION IPAD APP SNEAK PEEK IN THE NEWS Moms Invent DrugObama Gay Marriage World's First Lesbian |Paula Deen's 05K Walk Last Updated 11:33 AM Search /READERS Friend Theronton DownY ORDU MB READERS Log in to see your so-called friends' activity READERS Friends' Throats. f Lagin with Feebok Login with Facebook Learn More NEW SWIRE the ONION REVIEW WEEKLY VIDEO RECAP TV Listings: Not The New YorkTHIS WEEK IN HISTORY, Philharmonic 1 hour, 1 minute ago This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Fan On The Street: On Pujols" First Home Run 1 hour, 31 minutes ago Challenge To God Engraved On Roof (1972) 05.08.12 Dental Hygienist's Eyes Tell A Very Different Story 1 hour, 31 minutes ago PETERSBURG, KY-Gus Hall, the janitor at the Creation Museum, accidentally left his flashlight in the Adam and Eve exhibit, but no one seemed to notice. 3 hours, 1 minute ago IT'S LIKE MARRIAGE ONLY WITH BULLETS Santorum Now Viciously Condemning Homosexuals, Minorities, Women For $100,000 Speaking Fee Roger Goodell Tells Junior Seau's Family To Throw Brain In His Trunk With The Rest Of Them 3 hours,31 minutes ago A5-year-old announces that the circle is no longer her favorite shape,Gray Wolves Sighted In Capitol former Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown makes his comeback to horse racing as a jockey, and the guitar music fad runs its course more x» Building For First Time In 85 Years 5 hours, 1 minute ago
the ONION VIDEO SPORTS NEWS BEAT | MORE ▼ | SOCIAL ▼ AV, Club-Store-Dating ★Con America's Finest News Source SPECIAL REPORT: COMMON PARTNERS ITS LIKE MARRIAGE ONLY WITH BULLETS. LAW oer nnocarl COMMON LAWTONIGHIT T Ua NEW ORIGINAL SERIES ONION IPAD APP SNEAK PEEK IN THE NEWS Moms Invent DrugObama Gay Marriage World's First Lesbian |Paula Deen's 05K Walk Last Updated 11:33 AM Search /READERS Friend Theronton DownY ORDU MB READERS Log in to see your so-called friends' activity READERS Friends' Throats. f Lagin with Feebok Login with Facebook Learn More NEW SWIRE the ONION REVIEW WEEKLY VIDEO RECAP TV Listings: Not The New YorkTHIS WEEK IN HISTORY, Philharmonic 1 hour, 1 minute ago This Week In History: Sears Tower Constructed With Bold Fan On The Street: On Pujols" First Home Run 1 hour, 31 minutes ago Challenge To God Engraved On Roof (1972) 05.08.12 Dental Hygienist's Eyes Tell A Very Different Story 1 hour, 31 minutes ago PETERSBURG, KY-Gus Hall, the janitor at the Creation Museum, accidentally left his flashlight in the Adam and Eve exhibit, but no one seemed to notice. 3 hours, 1 minute ago IT'S LIKE MARRIAGE ONLY WITH BULLETS Santorum Now Viciously Condemning Homosexuals, Minorities, Women For $100,000 Speaking Fee Roger Goodell Tells Junior Seau's Family To Throw Brain In His Trunk With The Rest Of Them 3 hours,31 minutes ago A5-year-old announces that the circle is no longer her favorite shape,Gray Wolves Sighted In Capitol former Kentucky Derby winner Big Brown makes his comeback to horse racing as a jockey, and the guitar music fad runs its course more x» Building For First Time In 85 Years 5 hours, 1 minute ago

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