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Kids...

When I was 4 my dad got pulled over and I screamed "I have to p !!!" and the cop let my dad go. When he took me to the bathroom my dad couldn't stop laughing after I told him I didn't have to p I, just didn't want him to get a ticket. Sure hope my kids return the favor Q96 179.6K ❤82K 山 ធ Follow When i was 6, my dad got pulled over by a female officer for speeding. I chimed in by saying "well, you were going pretty fast daddy"... I only did it because she was pretty and I wanted her to like me. She let him off with a warning. You're SO welcome Dad.
When I was 4 my dad got pulled over and I screamed "I have to p !!!" and the cop let my dad go. When he took me to the bathroom my dad couldn't stop laughing after I told him I didn't have to p I, just didn't want him to get a ticket. Sure hope my kids return the favor Q96 179.6K ❤82K 山 ធ Follow When i was 6, my dad got pulled over by a female officer for speeding. I chimed in by saying "well, you were going pretty fast daddy"... I only did it because she was pretty and I wanted her to like me. She let him off with a warning. You're SO welcome Dad.

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Thanks, gramps

Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters.bsky.social I was having a rough day and trying to gain some perspective, so I asked my 85 year old grandpa if things have always been this hard and he literally said "no and I'm glad I won't be here much longer." Good luck out there, kids.
Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters.bsky.social I was having a rough day and trying to gain some perspective, so I asked my 85 year old grandpa if things have always been this hard and he literally said "no and I'm glad I won't be here much longer." Good luck out there, kids.

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Shhh...

Paradox @Corrode... 1d Ø Nobody tell my boss I'm drawing shrimp on the clock CORRODEDPARWOOX 78 175.2K 88.9K 838K %
Paradox @Corrode... 1d Ø Nobody tell my boss I'm drawing shrimp on the clock CORRODEDPARWOOX 78 175.2K 88.9K 838K %

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The crazy thing is...

Jev @runitbackjev The crazy thing is the cow that came from is probably dead by now TT @TTremendous351. Mar 16 This is a 393-years old aged Wagyu Beef that was located in the Arctic Ocean. It's been aging since 1627. It is the oldest living aged Wagyu Beef known on the planet. Photo by Julius Nielsen. IGJIUGE RB The most expensive meat in the world: Aged Wagyu Beef $3200/lbs Readers added context Wagyu as it is known was only crosbred into existence in the mid 1800s. Looking up anything about this steak (1627, wagyu, julius nielsen, arctic ocean, oldest wagyu steak) brings up no results. wikipedia.org/wiki/Wagyū 10:25 PM · Mar 17, 2025 -1.8M Views 400 4.4K 78K ☐ 2.6K <]
Jev @runitbackjev The crazy thing is the cow that came from is probably dead by now TT @TTremendous351. Mar 16 This is a 393-years old aged Wagyu Beef that was located in the Arctic Ocean. It's been aging since 1627. It is the oldest living aged Wagyu Beef known on the planet. Photo by Julius Nielsen. IGJIUGE RB The most expensive meat in the world: Aged Wagyu Beef $3200/lbs Readers added context Wagyu as it is known was only crosbred into existence in the mid 1800s. Looking up anything about this steak (1627, wagyu, julius nielsen, arctic ocean, oldest wagyu steak) brings up no results. wikipedia.org/wiki/Wagyū 10:25 PM · Mar 17, 2025 -1.8M Views 400 4.4K 78K ☐ 2.6K <]

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True...

Ethan Smith @NotEthanSmith_ Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault L
Ethan Smith @NotEthanSmith_ Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I'm really good at apologizing for things that aren't my fault L

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Guys... I know...

sarah thee tonin @sarahndipity18 two teen girls asked me to take a pic of them & i said sure. then they handed me a disposable camera & then tried to show me how to use it. do not cite the deep magic to me witch. i was there when it was written
sarah thee tonin @sarahndipity18 two teen girls asked me to take a pic of them & i said sure. then they handed me a disposable camera & then tried to show me how to use it. do not cite the deep magic to me witch. i was there when it was written

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You don't have to

todd dillard @toddedillard I don't know who needs to hear this but living your life to the fullest does not have to involve hiking
todd dillard @toddedillard I don't know who needs to hear this but living your life to the fullest does not have to involve hiking

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Let's hurry it up

KyloWrench @KyloWrench Can this just become a full-blown apocalypse or be over already? I'm sick of not knowing if I should be finding a new job or looting my neighbors house
KyloWrench @KyloWrench Can this just become a full-blown apocalypse or be over already? I'm sick of not knowing if I should be finding a new job or looting my neighbors house

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None of them are right

Mike Primavera @primawesome I've never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
Mike Primavera @primawesome I've never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.

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Don't you all have something better to do?

Ben Boven @benboven1 "Don't you people have jobs?" -- Me yelling at everyone for driving around on a Tuesday afternoon while I'm driving around on a Tuesday afternoon.
Ben Boven @benboven1 "Don't you people have jobs?" -- Me yelling at everyone for driving around on a Tuesday afternoon while I'm driving around on a Tuesday afternoon.

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Still accurate

nash flynn, @itsnashflynn i thought the barista was going to ask me if i wanted a straw, but unfortunately instead she said 'have a nice day!' to which i replied 'no thank you' and then drove away
nash flynn, @itsnashflynn i thought the barista was going to ask me if i wanted a straw, but unfortunately instead she said 'have a nice day!' to which i replied 'no thank you' and then drove away

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What else are they meant to say?

caleb hearon @calebsaysthings 90% of nfl commentators jobs is being like “and i'll tell ya, john, these guys are. these guys. these guys wanna win this one."
caleb hearon @calebsaysthings 90% of nfl commentators jobs is being like “and i'll tell ya, john, these guys are. these guys. these guys wanna win this one."

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What about us?

bri @ufobri band kid this, theatre kid that. what about the people who didn't do s¨¨¨? just went home after school and straight Vibed.
bri @ufobri band kid this, theatre kid that. what about the people who didn't do s¨¨¨? just went home after school and straight Vibed.

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People still do that?

Joel Jeffrey ❤ @joeljeffrey Instead of texting "here", last night one of my friends knocked my front door just like our ancestors used to
Joel Jeffrey ❤ @joeljeffrey Instead of texting "here", last night one of my friends knocked my front door just like our ancestors used to

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Same thing

chrispy (commissions close... FNAF screens when you start the game: was in in the can not a world of Bro vi lokalacn naiw, dk I was in n in the 1 can not Fakiv, sli hr.kalain than Ho 1 so down i happen, 1 ay of the said what aQuipped u than Ha so down i thappan, I way of the ho said what aQuipped u iv, slakalacn ksisipaiw, dk n Ho I was in down in the I can not opan Of the world id what are y kiv, slakalaen kslsingiw, dk han Ho I was in o down in tha appan, I can not sksakŕdkiv, al Afhr.kalsta FranciscoTNG @Francisc... So than Fkdla sksakŕdkiv, slakatego Fha cho dnfhr.ksialnaiw, dk it be the way or Thalkli and than Ho I was in So thon ho said what are y in in the way of the wast. Out thoir tha,way of the wo bacon, aggs, and toast. With the same onargyd sonst. Fkola sksakfakiv, slnkalacn Fha cho dafhr.kslslaaiw, dk Thalkli and than Ho I was in I wasn't in so down in the how did it happen, i can not it be the way of the world So than ha snid what are yi Fkdla sksakfdkiv, slakalaen The cac dafhr.kslslaaiw, dk Thalkli and than Ho I was in wasn't in so down in tho happen, I can not BAKTI how laprichon, o so is a storra that KRABS LAST TO BE HAUNTED! says, "I ain't afraid of no ghosts" Fkóla sksakŕdkiv, al: Fha cnc dafhr.kalslo Thalkli and than Ha 1 I wasn't in so down i how did it happen, Ic it be the way of the So than ho said what boat was equipped Thalkli and than Hai I wasn't in so down i how did it happen, it it be the way of the So than ha said what equipped u s load dkaposk oapwdk in the Door, but I ha village is so 00 not say but how o rid hippopotomus o you in or O Stuff thai Th disk much the out the Mankind or grab k how laprichon, pad so is a storra that Fkdla sksakfaki Fha ona dafhr. kli and tha THOTR I wasn' how di it ba th So tha boat w Thalki I was how it ba So th bost loom dic in ha v not rld y om th MD ho 30 Fk FH TH
chrispy (commissions close... FNAF screens when you start the game: was in in the can not a world of Bro vi lokalacn naiw, dk I was in n in the 1 can not Fakiv, sli hr.kalain than Ho 1 so down i happen, 1 ay of the said what aQuipped u than Ha so down i thappan, I way of the ho said what aQuipped u iv, slakalacn ksisipaiw, dk n Ho I was in down in the I can not opan Of the world id what are y kiv, slakalaen kslsingiw, dk han Ho I was in o down in tha appan, I can not sksakŕdkiv, al Afhr.kalsta FranciscoTNG @Francisc... So than Fkdla sksakŕdkiv, slakatego Fha cho dnfhr.ksialnaiw, dk it be the way or Thalkli and than Ho I was in So thon ho said what are y in in the way of the wast. Out thoir tha,way of the wo bacon, aggs, and toast. With the same onargyd sonst. Fkola sksakfakiv, slnkalacn Fha cho dafhr.kslslaaiw, dk Thalkli and than Ho I was in I wasn't in so down in the how did it happen, i can not it be the way of the world So than ha snid what are yi Fkdla sksakfdkiv, slakalaen The cac dafhr.kslslaaiw, dk Thalkli and than Ho I was in wasn't in so down in tho happen, I can not BAKTI how laprichon, o so is a storra that KRABS LAST TO BE HAUNTED! says, "I ain't afraid of no ghosts" Fkóla sksakŕdkiv, al: Fha cnc dafhr.kalslo Thalkli and than Ha 1 I wasn't in so down i how did it happen, Ic it be the way of the So than ho said what boat was equipped Thalkli and than Hai I wasn't in so down i how did it happen, it it be the way of the So than ha said what equipped u s load dkaposk oapwdk in the Door, but I ha village is so 00 not say but how o rid hippopotomus o you in or O Stuff thai Th disk much the out the Mankind or grab k how laprichon, pad so is a storra that Fkdla sksakfaki Fha ona dafhr. kli and tha THOTR I wasn' how di it ba th So tha boat w Thalki I was how it ba So th bost loom dic in ha v not rld y om th MD ho 30 Fk FH TH

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More salt

James DiNicolantonio @drjamesdinic Dizzy? Take salt. No energy? Take salt. Headache? Take salt. Brain fog? Take salt. Can't focus? Take salt. Salt is your hydration mineral and when you don't get enough your quality of life suffers.
James DiNicolantonio @drjamesdinic Dizzy? Take salt. No energy? Take salt. Headache? Take salt. Brain fog? Take salt. Can't focus? Take salt. Salt is your hydration mineral and when you don't get enough your quality of life suffers.

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thanks i'm cured cringe cringeworthy facepalm oof bad advice
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