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No way he did that

r/ r/confession 5tim XA Översätt About to start paternity leave, but luckily there is no actual child I told my manager months ago, followed suit with coworkers. I have photoshopped a recent birth certificate to have my name. It started as a bad idea, and here I am....ok with being fired but terrified that I'm gonna go to jail. Seems too easy to work, or maybe just too crazy for anyone to fake. 88 B 94

r/ r/confession 5tim XA Översätt About to start paternity leave, but luckily there is no actual child I told my manager months ago, followed suit with coworkers. I have photoshopped a recent birth certificate to have my name. It started as a bad idea, and here I am....ok with being fired but terrified that I'm gonna go to jail. Seems too easy to work, or maybe just too crazy for anyone to fake. 88 B 94

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20 guys?

Legit though. I befriended a new kid - we ended up being on different vibes and went out seperate ways. A couple years later, long story, but about 20 guys were chasing me down the street one night to give me a beating, wrong place wrong time. I was trying to draw them away from my friends, when suddenly, despite gaining on me, they stopped and turned around. It would be a couple more years before I bumped into that new kid again, when I learn that he had been with those guys. When he got close enough to recognise me, he called them off because I had been kind to him. That felt like real karma in action to me. Show less

Legit though. I befriended a new kid - we ended up being on different vibes and went out seperate ways. A couple years later, long story, but about 20 guys were chasing me down the street one night to give me a beating, wrong place wrong time. I was trying to draw them away from my friends, when suddenly, despite gaining on me, they stopped and turned around. It would be a couple more years before I bumped into that new kid again, when I learn that he had been with those guys. When he got close enough to recognise me, he called them off because I had been kind to him. That felt like real karma in action to me. Show less

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What...

Tim Wilson @tw4goldstein On the train. It pulled up at Bentleigh. A bloke wearing a black tee and hat was getting off the train, held his phone up and pointed at me. He said "Tim Wilson. Zionist scumbag". He then cowardly got off the train. I calmly responded "I'm quite proudly Zionist, thank you". 3:27 pm . 17/1/2025 104K Views

Tim Wilson @tw4goldstein On the train. It pulled up at Bentleigh. A bloke wearing a black tee and hat was getting off the train, held his phone up and pointed at me. He said "Tim Wilson. Zionist scumbag". He then cowardly got off the train. I calmly responded "I'm quite proudly Zionist, thank you". 3:27 pm . 17/1/2025 104K Views

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Classic LinkedIn

2nd + Follow £10,000 or my book? If I asked a random person this question, what do you think they'd choose? Honestly, I fully expected her to say £10,000 without hesitation. But she didn't. She chose the book. And let me tell you, she chose correctly. Here's why: Had she chosen the money, it would've just been spent, dwindling down to zero eventually. Instead, by choosing the knowledge in my book, she now has access to the tools and strategies to turn money into MORE money. Her original plan was to put the £10k towards a mortgage. This would've essentially been her PAYING for another boss. But her decision showed me something far more important: commitment. Because of her choice, I now feel compelled to help her even more. I see her potential, and I'm going to do everything I can to help her achieve financial freedom (so long as she stays dedicated). Sometimes, the right decision isn't the easiest one. But it's the one that leads to the most growth. The more risk you take, the luckier you get. Would you have made the same choice? You can buy it here. Available now! https://lnkd.in/e8Pce4Kr

2nd + Follow £10,000 or my book? If I asked a random person this question, what do you think they'd choose? Honestly, I fully expected her to say £10,000 without hesitation. But she didn't. She chose the book. And let me tell you, she chose correctly. Here's why: Had she chosen the money, it would've just been spent, dwindling down to zero eventually. Instead, by choosing the knowledge in my book, she now has access to the tools and strategies to turn money into MORE money. Her original plan was to put the £10k towards a mortgage. This would've essentially been her PAYING for another boss. But her decision showed me something far more important: commitment. Because of her choice, I now feel compelled to help her even more. I see her potential, and I'm going to do everything I can to help her achieve financial freedom (so long as she stays dedicated). Sometimes, the right decision isn't the easiest one. But it's the one that leads to the most growth. The more risk you take, the luckier you get. Would you have made the same choice? You can buy it here. Available now! https://lnkd.in/e8Pce4Kr

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Love conquers all

03 The man brought the four cards, the four boxes of candy, and the four sets of flowers up to the cashier for checkout. The cashier rolled her eyes at him as she looked at his wedding band and mumbled..."these players make me sick." This caused everyone else to look at the man funny too. So the man responded..."one set is for my mom because my dad passed away and he used to do this for my mom...and he taught me how to give love. The next set is for my wife because I love her and she teaches me how to receive and treasure love. And the third set is for my daughter...because it's up to me to teach her how she should be treated and who she should give her love to. And you can have my fourth set because I just wanted you to know that a man can show you love and understanding and not want anything from you. Have a blessed day." She melted and everyone else did too. just goes to show you don't judge someone you know nothing about!! love it. ❤ 39.5K views • View 969 upvotes. View 11 shares

03 The man brought the four cards, the four boxes of candy, and the four sets of flowers up to the cashier for checkout. The cashier rolled her eyes at him as she looked at his wedding band and mumbled..."these players make me sick." This caused everyone else to look at the man funny too. So the man responded..."one set is for my mom because my dad passed away and he used to do this for my mom...and he taught me how to give love. The next set is for my wife because I love her and she teaches me how to receive and treasure love. And the third set is for my daughter...because it's up to me to teach her how she should be treated and who she should give her love to. And you can have my fourth set because I just wanted you to know that a man can show you love and understanding and not want anything from you. Have a blessed day." She melted and everyone else did too. just goes to show you don't judge someone you know nothing about!! love it. ❤ 39.5K views • View 969 upvotes. View 11 shares

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Kids are getting so smart

My sweet Bentley.. Tonight when I laid him down for bed he said mama the things I want most from Santa are complicated, I said well tell me what they are baby, he said I want a big mirror so I can put it in front of you & show you how beautiful you are, & then I want a tall ladder one that can reach heaven so I can tell Jesus thank you for my wonderful mother.. Y'all I'm still crying, I love my babies and I thank God everyday, I don't know what I did to deserve this love. 60 24 14 comments Like Comment Send

My sweet Bentley.. Tonight when I laid him down for bed he said mama the things I want most from Santa are complicated, I said well tell me what they are baby, he said I want a big mirror so I can put it in front of you & show you how beautiful you are, & then I want a tall ladder one that can reach heaven so I can tell Jesus thank you for my wonderful mother.. Y'all I'm still crying, I love my babies and I thank God everyday, I don't know what I did to deserve this love. 60 24 14 comments Like Comment Send

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Well well well...

X I was leaving Kroger(s) and this woman is outside with her baby in a stroller asking for money. I was about to give her some money. This man yells out "DONT GIVE HER ANO MONEY THAT BABY AINT REAL" then he runs over and kicks the stroller. I'll be d 1, baby wasn't real. 11:19 PM Jan 11, 2022 42.2K Reply ②Copy link boredpanda.com 169 26 comments 19 shares

X I was leaving Kroger(s) and this woman is outside with her baby in a stroller asking for money. I was about to give her some money. This man yells out "DONT GIVE HER ANO MONEY THAT BABY AINT REAL" then he runs over and kicks the stroller. I'll be d 1, baby wasn't real. 11:19 PM Jan 11, 2022 42.2K Reply ②Copy link boredpanda.com 169 26 comments 19 shares

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What is this?

1d You don't even know, man. My girlfriend works at a CHILDRENS hospital and during her orientation the speaker told them, something along the lines of: "We're taking out little girls' uteruses here, this is the world we live in now, but you have to be unbiased in your job." Disgusting as 5 11

1d You don't even know, man. My girlfriend works at a CHILDRENS hospital and during her orientation the speaker told them, something along the lines of: "We're taking out little girls' uteruses here, this is the world we live in now, but you have to be unbiased in your job." Disgusting as 5 11

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She's special

+ So I am at the airport and the man checking my bag says ma'am "yo" bag is 65 pounds. I hope you paid for that before you got here. Me: I have STATUS I don't pay for bags. The man "checks my ID" and looks in the system...... The man: oh alright alright I see you! Me: sips

+ So I am at the airport and the man checking my bag says ma'am "yo" bag is 65 pounds. I hope you paid for that before you got here. Me: I have STATUS I don't pay for bags. The man "checks my ID" and looks in the system...... The man: oh alright alright I see you! Me: sips

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Because they just had time to do that

書 Simon Hale @Sime 3 Follow I drove my cybertruck to my barber this evening, for a Christmas haircut. As I walked in my barber and others who work there were commenting on how ugly the cyber truck was. I asked them what were the five most important features in a vehicle. They were able to name their top three. 1) safety. 2) comfort. 3) space. So explain to them that my Tesla wins in all three categories, hands-down. Once my haircut was finished, I invited them for a drive. I put my barber in the driver seat. Then I put the vehicle in full self driving and had a drive through Montreal and Westmount. For the next 10 minutes, everybody in the vehicle, including the driver was blown away. When we were done, it pulled up in front of the barbershop, exactly where we had left. By then everybody in the vehicle, my barber included had changed their mind about Tesla. And more specifically the Cybertruck. They no longer care how it looks because they were blown away by its features

書 Simon Hale @Sime 3 Follow I drove my cybertruck to my barber this evening, for a Christmas haircut. As I walked in my barber and others who work there were commenting on how ugly the cyber truck was. I asked them what were the five most important features in a vehicle. They were able to name their top three. 1) safety. 2) comfort. 3) space. So explain to them that my Tesla wins in all three categories, hands-down. Once my haircut was finished, I invited them for a drive. I put my barber in the driver seat. Then I put the vehicle in full self driving and had a drive through Montreal and Westmount. For the next 10 minutes, everybody in the vehicle, including the driver was blown away. When we were done, it pulled up in front of the barbershop, exactly where we had left. By then everybody in the vehicle, my barber included had changed their mind about Tesla. And more specifically the Cybertruck. They no longer care how it looks because they were blown away by its features

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The end of times

I said Merry Christmas to someone earlier, and she responded by saying: "I'm sorry? What did you just say to me? Wow some people are SO ignorant, don't you know that ALL religions have their holidays at the end of December? You should really think next time before you offend someone" We really have reached the end times P.S she had a cross on too

I said Merry Christmas to someone earlier, and she responded by saying: "I'm sorry? What did you just say to me? Wow some people are SO ignorant, don't you know that ALL religions have their holidays at the end of December? You should really think next time before you offend someone" We really have reached the end times P.S she had a cross on too

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Need me a friend like that

A good friend of mine knows a billionaire. She hasn't spoken to him in 2 years. Yesterday she texted him and asked him for 300k as a loan and he immediately replied "ok. But not a loan. You can just have it" Reply -1

A good friend of mine knows a billionaire. She hasn't spoken to him in 2 years. Yesterday she texted him and asked him for 300k as a loan and he immediately replied "ok. But not a loan. You can just have it" Reply -1

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DISCUSS

HEB employee: hi how are your day? (Super chipper attitude and super smiley) Me: good good (while I take my wallet out to pay) HEB employee: did you find.... Does not complete the sentence, immediately stops smiling, sees my wallet and doesn't even say the total but just points at the credit card reader to pay I pay Me: thank y... HEB Employee: NEXT IN LINE Said wallet below .... Discuss. LGLGBTQ Threads STAR WARS DISP CHASE CHASE O kate spade NEW YORK RO

HEB employee: hi how are your day? (Super chipper attitude and super smiley) Me: good good (while I take my wallet out to pay) HEB employee: did you find.... Does not complete the sentence, immediately stops smiling, sees my wallet and doesn't even say the total but just points at the credit card reader to pay I pay Me: thank y... HEB Employee: NEXT IN LINE Said wallet below .... Discuss. LGLGBTQ Threads STAR WARS DISP CHASE CHASE O kate spade NEW YORK RO

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They FREAKED

Reply to x.233.27.1.2's comment My wife's friend said a random dude walked in to a Health Insurance office, whistled the 4 notes from Hunger Games and walked out. They freaked and closed down for the day

Reply to x.233.27.1.2's comment My wife's friend said a random dude walked in to a Health Insurance office, whistled the 4 notes from Hunger Games and walked out. They freaked and closed down for the day

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A Christmas tale

Thread < Back 82.1K views 10h Follow My 15-year-old just looked up from the couch & said: "Ever think about how Santa Claus imagery is just like Christian iconography? Which makes sense-he's basically America's chief deity. He's like any other God ―omnipotent, watching us all the time, insisting on 'good behavior,' punishing or rewarding ...but the religion he represents is Capitalism." Pause. "He's a Capitalist religious icon & our worship of him is consumerism." [Goes back to their phone.] The kids are alright. C e

Thread < Back 82.1K views 10h Follow My 15-year-old just looked up from the couch & said: "Ever think about how Santa Claus imagery is just like Christian iconography? Which makes sense-he's basically America's chief deity. He's like any other God ―omnipotent, watching us all the time, insisting on 'good behavior,' punishing or rewarding ...but the religion he represents is Capitalism." Pause. "He's a Capitalist religious icon & our worship of him is consumerism." [Goes back to their phone.] The kids are alright. C e

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Whatever you want to believe...

I'm on the hunt for a piano, ukulele, or violin teacher for my 2 1/2 year old mini Mozart. He started humming to Mozart at a month old. This tiny human has some serious natural talent - plays my keyboard and learning music from YouTube. I'm eager to help him nurture his gifts. He has advanced fine motor skills and finger coordination for his age. Most of the serious teachers won't start until he's 4. He's grown out of nursery songs.

I'm on the hunt for a piano, ukulele, or violin teacher for my 2 1/2 year old mini Mozart. He started humming to Mozart at a month old. This tiny human has some serious natural talent - plays my keyboard and learning music from YouTube. I'm eager to help him nurture his gifts. He has advanced fine motor skills and finger coordination for his age. Most of the serious teachers won't start until he's 4. He's grown out of nursery songs.

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