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The Virgin Fiction v. THE CHAD REALITY


Virgin vs. Chad
virgin vs chad virgin v chad fiction reality virgin walk chad stride

Hazmat Virgin vs. Immune Chad

Immune Chad drinks tap water in the 3rd world countries Hazmat Virgin hoards toilet paper 3 times the normal Ț cell count deliberately exposes himself to the pathogens immunizes people with his gaze has 3 facemasks under a gas mask eats boogers can't breath properly bites his nails never washes his hands has airlock instead of a normal door OUCHH every inch of his skin covered with healthy microbes washes his hands 70 times a day / is sick every other week leaves a trail of dead germs infects bacteria and viruses with his presence empties the entire grocery store for himself blood group A fearmonger blood group O secretly likes all of this barefeet for improved circulation and cold exposure cott
Immune Chad drinks tap water in the 3rd world countries Hazmat Virgin hoards toilet paper 3 times the normal Ț cell count deliberately exposes himself to the pathogens immunizes people with his gaze has 3 facemasks under a gas mask eats boogers can't breath properly bites his nails never washes his hands has airlock instead of a normal door OUCHH every inch of his skin covered with healthy microbes washes his hands 70 times a day / is sick every other week leaves a trail of dead germs infects bacteria and viruses with his presence empties the entire grocery store for himself blood group A fearmonger blood group O secretly likes all of this barefeet for improved circulation and cold exposure cott

Virgin vs. Chad
toilet paper gas mask corona virus hazmat germ bacteria micobe immune

Leftist vs. COVID-19

the Virgin Leftist the Chad COVID-19 "ok boomer" gets a coworker to show up decimates the over-70 population creates generalized work stoppages in entire nations to a DSA meeting once ernie muh finance capital tanks the stock market COUGH! all online classes so you can do bong rips from foucauldian analysis org full of creepers social distancing of education your room only bernie can win targets global elite, including world leaders gets healthcare systems to provide free testing and treatment “m4a plz" constructs 8000-word free government money and rent analysis of UBI as neoliberalism Green New Deal curbing emissions overnight
the Virgin Leftist the Chad COVID-19 "ok boomer" gets a coworker to show up decimates the over-70 population creates generalized work stoppages in entire nations to a DSA meeting once ernie muh finance capital tanks the stock market COUGH! all online classes so you can do bong rips from foucauldian analysis org full of creepers social distancing of education your room only bernie can win targets global elite, including world leaders gets healthcare systems to provide free testing and treatment “m4a plz" constructs 8000-word free government money and rent analysis of UBI as neoliberalism Green New Deal curbing emissions overnight

Virgin vs. Chad
virgin chad virgin vs chad leftist coronavirus covid-19 socialism communism socialist communist left wing

Modern Architecture vs Brutalism

some plants so they can pretend a condo for millionaries the virgin "modern THE CHAD ( architecture" actually lowers property values by existing is eco-friendly BRUTALISM gentrifies the entire area around it every surface coated in glass probally cost 5 bucks total strong and imposing, all other buildings shall fear it designed by a bunch of architects jerking themselves off not a single so futuristic, every building has looked like this for the past 30 years built and inhabited by curve on costs a billion dollars to make the entire the working class building occupied by bougie white people no windows: makes the not needed designed by heroic comrades of old, building for the people, when the skyline twice as best view not the rich is the building itself ugly weird curves for the highlight of any skyline no reason what was old has become new
some plants so they can pretend a condo for millionaries the virgin "modern THE CHAD ( architecture" actually lowers property values by existing is eco-friendly BRUTALISM gentrifies the entire area around it every surface coated in glass probally cost 5 bucks total strong and imposing, all other buildings shall fear it designed by a bunch of architects jerking themselves off not a single so futuristic, every building has looked like this for the past 30 years built and inhabited by curve on costs a billion dollars to make the entire the working class building occupied by bougie white people no windows: makes the not needed designed by heroic comrades of old, building for the people, when the skyline twice as best view not the rich is the building itself ugly weird curves for the highlight of any skyline no reason what was old has become new

Virgin vs. Chad
buildings curves skyscrapers old vs new cheap expensive soviet

The Virgin Panicky Karen v. THE CHAD SENSIBLE SILLYPOSTER

The virgin panicking Karen The chad sensible sillyposter bags under eyes from staying awake all night laughing at pictures of a yellow dog knows he's safe because panic buys toilet paper runs down the aisle he doesn't go outside; just stays inside sillyposting with arm outstretched thinks Donald Trump caused it drives a crossover thinks eating weird dead s--- caused it gets in fights over hand sanitizer doesn't get tested, just panics doge "What do you mean you're out of toilet paper? I need doesn't go to the store just has fun all day "Oh god I'm gonna I'm CO0OUGHING" knows that a washable reusable cloth will be more useful and convenient your manager please." wheece haha spinny hat than toilet paper goes outside too busy having fun to panic drives hot wheels Angel Soft. >muh butthole is the most important thing in the event of the apocalypse gets in fights over anime waifus vrooom whee haha oft doesn't eat strange foods, sustains self on his own toenails "Oh god I'm gonna I'm PO00OSTING" 360 and jugs of piss calls coronavirus "the boomer doomer"
The virgin panicking Karen The chad sensible sillyposter bags under eyes from staying awake all night laughing at pictures of a yellow dog knows he's safe because panic buys toilet paper runs down the aisle he doesn't go outside; just stays inside sillyposting with arm outstretched thinks Donald Trump caused it drives a crossover thinks eating weird dead s--- caused it gets in fights over hand sanitizer doesn't get tested, just panics doge "What do you mean you're out of toilet paper? I need doesn't go to the store just has fun all day "Oh god I'm gonna I'm CO0OUGHING" knows that a washable reusable cloth will be more useful and convenient your manager please." wheece haha spinny hat than toilet paper goes outside too busy having fun to panic drives hot wheels Angel Soft. >muh butthole is the most important thing in the event of the apocalypse gets in fights over anime waifus vrooom whee haha oft doesn't eat strange foods, sustains self on his own toenails "Oh god I'm gonna I'm PO00OSTING" 360 and jugs of piss calls coronavirus "the boomer doomer"

Virgin vs. Chad
virgin vs chad virgin v chad karen panic coronavirus sillyposter shitpost

The Virgin WC3 vs THE CHAD C&C

THE CHAD The Virgin COMMAND CONQUER WARCRAFT REFOR GED REMASTERED Taken 25 years to remaster - not a single f--- given Poorman's retexture Multiplayer built by the people who will actually play it Flexs a $150 tag on the collector's edition - sells out in hours Oversized pauldrons won't save you now Bought as Activision's bitch Preorder bonuses are for other Classic WC3 made unplayable terrible games Hires the original voice actors and musicians because they're family "SHAKE IT, BABY!" 16% of people liked this game 4K resolution Blizzard forced to appologize for yet another f--- up New and improved user interface Remastered cinematics Clunky cinematics
THE CHAD The Virgin COMMAND CONQUER WARCRAFT REFOR GED REMASTERED Taken 25 years to remaster - not a single f--- given Poorman's retexture Multiplayer built by the people who will actually play it Flexs a $150 tag on the collector's edition - sells out in hours Oversized pauldrons won't save you now Bought as Activision's bitch Preorder bonuses are for other Classic WC3 made unplayable terrible games Hires the original voice actors and musicians because they're family "SHAKE IT, BABY!" 16% of people liked this game 4K resolution Blizzard forced to appologize for yet another f--- up New and improved user interface Remastered cinematics Clunky cinematics

Virgin vs. Chad
warcraft iii reforged command and conquer remastered

The Mecha S P E C T R U M

THE GAD GURREN LAGANN Final battle was f------ amazing! Amazing from start to finish THE DAD GUNDAMUC The Basic TRATS FIRMERS MOBILE SUIT UNICORN The Virgin ANGRĪDMAN Shamelessly sexualizes Yoko Littner to the ninth defree. Crew oes it again in the Thad Kill La Kill The Brad The Wizard OPRLING FRAN The Incel The Chad M Z The Thad CODEGEASS ELNTCELICA IM THE DELTA |機動戦士 The Lad MACROSS This one transforms! MC is voiced by Spider-Man in the dub UNDAM Ban elouch of the Rebellion Watched by everyone, not many remember it Doesn't need to be sentient to be liked A deconstruction, but still Not many will understand it's complex plot Faces the superior 02 Absolutely beautiful CGI Rocket punch manages to become one of the best AKA the Banshee Clunky animation Gary Stu MC No one develops Connects to pilot through weird watch Sentient, but needs a host Sentient, can fight Decepticons alone Cool action scenes, but Pilot outgrew the RX-78-2 lol Not everyone will enjoy it's complex story or characters The perfect encapsulation of what makes the UC timeline stand out among all other mecha shows. Only the Gad TTGL dare opposes Unicorn Almost nothing was explained Mecha fights show Deep philosophy Mecha fights have aged well Over the top Dub outweighs not many to fight how dangerous either team can be Zeon still lives somehow Made to people talk thing Repairs everything damaged so no records of the Protects Earth from mechanical monsters the sub Transformers: Energon's CGI looks like Gundam Unicorn compared to this sell CDs Exists in an old Humans are more Has the most Unlike the WVizard Darling, this one Created the mecha genre in general Overly depressing useless than Aqua Exciting action Feels like a 13-year- Too much junk computer about them overrated Leaves colatteral damage, so humans Overshadowed old's fanfiction rather action knows how to waifu ever Can't defeat a by s--- live action movies and MS Paint donkeys Made to sell combine different Shows that war isn't about who is right, but events can be What the f---, Pilot grows over Easter egg of than a serious work of art Remembered for creating the "real robot" genre monster alone can remember that they are here, and they are watching G1 mediocre. Does the impossible in only 27 episodes A tsundere gets f------ mauled At least Macross Delta can be remembered genres together A little exposition, please? Amuro and Lad!? She was in a coma! the course of Made a solid comeback Bright hurts to see remembered for staying true to it's theme. Darling has no idea whatever the f--- it wants the series Kinda saved Trigger's reputation after what DarliFra was, but No 80's kid was ready for him to hit the west No plot instead who is left "Doggy-style mechs" Bandai model kits in Super Robot Wars V A timeless There's more Made on a limited budget, but looks Drama never toys, but tells a decent story Had sequels and a prequel so it can expand Needed reboots to masterpiece are probably the best figures ever to it than just the mechs So impossibly epic that the crew ended up creating their own studio, which housed the Thads Kill La Kill and Inferno Cop, as well as Chads Promare and BNA: Brand New Animal will take it feels forced Insulting to mecha fans to be become great Will only be remembered Very iconic It can be gorgeous from here Started a god or Both sub "Why don't you just watch Gundam?" Top tier Amazing Soundtrack Somehow, every character is likable. How did Anno do it? Proves that A-1 Iconic design spawning different and dub Many universes to choose from Even SAO's for being s--- a devil Memes character mecha Sunrise does Do I have to go on? Get off Reddit and see it for yourself! still doesn't are epic and jokes still fresh timelines crew would say this is bad understand Even fans started designs designs it yet again Easily Sunrise's best anime Ruined Studio Trigger's rep, which was remembered for quality anime to fter anime Episode 15 Little Witch Academia
THE GAD GURREN LAGANN Final battle was f------ amazing! Amazing from start to finish THE DAD GUNDAMUC The Basic TRATS FIRMERS MOBILE SUIT UNICORN The Virgin ANGRĪDMAN Shamelessly sexualizes Yoko Littner to the ninth defree. Crew oes it again in the Thad Kill La Kill The Brad The Wizard OPRLING FRAN The Incel The Chad M Z The Thad CODEGEASS ELNTCELICA IM THE DELTA |機動戦士 The Lad MACROSS This one transforms! MC is voiced by Spider-Man in the dub UNDAM Ban elouch of the Rebellion Watched by everyone, not many remember it Doesn't need to be sentient to be liked A deconstruction, but still Not many will understand it's complex plot Faces the superior 02 Absolutely beautiful CGI Rocket punch manages to become one of the best AKA the Banshee Clunky animation Gary Stu MC No one develops Connects to pilot through weird watch Sentient, but needs a host Sentient, can fight Decepticons alone Cool action scenes, but Pilot outgrew the RX-78-2 lol Not everyone will enjoy it's complex story or characters The perfect encapsulation of what makes the UC timeline stand out among all other mecha shows. Only the Gad TTGL dare opposes Unicorn Almost nothing was explained Mecha fights show Deep philosophy Mecha fights have aged well Over the top Dub outweighs not many to fight how dangerous either team can be Zeon still lives somehow Made to people talk thing Repairs everything damaged so no records of the Protects Earth from mechanical monsters the sub Transformers: Energon's CGI looks like Gundam Unicorn compared to this sell CDs Exists in an old Humans are more Has the most Unlike the WVizard Darling, this one Created the mecha genre in general Overly depressing useless than Aqua Exciting action Feels like a 13-year- Too much junk computer about them overrated Leaves colatteral damage, so humans Overshadowed old's fanfiction rather action knows how to waifu ever Can't defeat a by s--- live action movies and MS Paint donkeys Made to sell combine different Shows that war isn't about who is right, but events can be What the f---, Pilot grows over Easter egg of than a serious work of art Remembered for creating the "real robot" genre monster alone can remember that they are here, and they are watching G1 mediocre. Does the impossible in only 27 episodes A tsundere gets f------ mauled At least Macross Delta can be remembered genres together A little exposition, please? Amuro and Lad!? She was in a coma! the course of Made a solid comeback Bright hurts to see remembered for staying true to it's theme. Darling has no idea whatever the f--- it wants the series Kinda saved Trigger's reputation after what DarliFra was, but No 80's kid was ready for him to hit the west No plot instead who is left "Doggy-style mechs" Bandai model kits in Super Robot Wars V A timeless There's more Made on a limited budget, but looks Drama never toys, but tells a decent story Had sequels and a prequel so it can expand Needed reboots to masterpiece are probably the best figures ever to it than just the mechs So impossibly epic that the crew ended up creating their own studio, which housed the Thads Kill La Kill and Inferno Cop, as well as Chads Promare and BNA: Brand New Animal will take it feels forced Insulting to mecha fans to be become great Will only be remembered Very iconic It can be gorgeous from here Started a god or Both sub "Why don't you just watch Gundam?" Top tier Amazing Soundtrack Somehow, every character is likable. How did Anno do it? Proves that A-1 Iconic design spawning different and dub Many universes to choose from Even SAO's for being s--- a devil Memes character mecha Sunrise does Do I have to go on? Get off Reddit and see it for yourself! still doesn't are epic and jokes still fresh timelines crew would say this is bad understand Even fans started designs designs it yet again Easily Sunrise's best anime Ruined Studio Trigger's rep, which was remembered for quality anime to fter anime Episode 15 Little Witch Academia

Virgin vs. Chad
virgin v chad virgin vs chad darling in the franxx delta macross gridman transformers gundam mazingerz code geass neon genesis evangelion mobile suit gundam gurren laggen virgin walk chad stride

Eat v. DEVOUR

Holds in his burps, stomach about to Too polite The virgin eat burst Restaurant Tries to maintain Eats with mouth good back posture to avoid getting closed attention Wears bib, still gets panic attack if it gets stained Tips waiter extra to be nice, waiter instead just Tries to eat quietly cause, too insecure Eats with cutlery cause he doesn't want to get hands dirty thinks he sucks at math Only gets one dish cause he doesn't want to annoy the Only eats a bit, or else he will throw up later chef Always gets burger and fries, the most normie meal "Nah I'm not that hungry" Afraid to try other dishes, will eat Keeps elbows off Waiter and chef burgers for rest of laughs at him when he leaves the table cause life that's "polite" Very rude like a true Chad devour chad Burps up legit hydrochloric acid to help digest Restaurant Maintains horrible back Eats with mouth posture to annoy people wide open for whole world to see Doesn't tip waiter, serving Chad is all Smacks lips and slurps to Shirt is his bib and his napkin BURP make as much noise as waiter ever wanted possible Eats all his food, proceeds to eat plates and table Orders one of Eats with hands, has never heard of everything on the eating utencils in his life menu Puts legs on table Requests chef to prepare some hearty bat soup, aint scared of no Not afraid to try some bizzare and exotic dishes coronavirus
Holds in his burps, stomach about to Too polite The virgin eat burst Restaurant Tries to maintain Eats with mouth good back posture to avoid getting closed attention Wears bib, still gets panic attack if it gets stained Tips waiter extra to be nice, waiter instead just Tries to eat quietly cause, too insecure Eats with cutlery cause he doesn't want to get hands dirty thinks he sucks at math Only gets one dish cause he doesn't want to annoy the Only eats a bit, or else he will throw up later chef Always gets burger and fries, the most normie meal "Nah I'm not that hungry" Afraid to try other dishes, will eat Keeps elbows off Waiter and chef burgers for rest of laughs at him when he leaves the table cause life that's "polite" Very rude like a true Chad devour chad Burps up legit hydrochloric acid to help digest Restaurant Maintains horrible back Eats with mouth posture to annoy people wide open for whole world to see Doesn't tip waiter, serving Chad is all Smacks lips and slurps to Shirt is his bib and his napkin BURP make as much noise as waiter ever wanted possible Eats all his food, proceeds to eat plates and table Orders one of Eats with hands, has never heard of everything on the eating utencils in his life menu Puts legs on table Requests chef to prepare some hearty bat soup, aint scared of no Not afraid to try some bizzare and exotic dishes coronavirus

Virgin vs. Chad
virgin v chad virgin vs chad eat devour virgin walk chad stride

The Virgin "being sick" v. THE CHAD EPIDEMIC

The virgin "being sick" Hopes that he goes into shock so a nurse can Drinks chicken soup and tells himself that he's Even the bacteria inside his body are reproducing more than he is give him mouth to mouth getting mad amounts of protein to build muscle Lies in bed because he's too sick to be on the Pays hundreds of dollars just to sit in bed for a few days, could easily recover without any rest move Thinks he's dying just because he has a runny No one comes to visit him because he has no friends nose The Chad "EPIDEMIC" Refuses to stay still, es- capes quarantine to infect as many people as possible through physical contact Projectile vomits into the air just to do splash damage to anyone near him PLAZA HO TEL CHANDLER QUARANTINE Is infected with deadly virus that causing immune system shutdown and bleeding from orfices. Will 100% be dead in a few hours, Covered in boils filled with delicious, juicy pus. BUGI People refuse to be near him, he touches and infects them anyway. The goverment has to waste massive amounts of resources to contain him as to prevent spread of the virus Will eventually infect every woman in Los Angeles, thereby having been inside millions of women like a true Chad.
The virgin "being sick" Hopes that he goes into shock so a nurse can Drinks chicken soup and tells himself that he's Even the bacteria inside his body are reproducing more than he is give him mouth to mouth getting mad amounts of protein to build muscle Lies in bed because he's too sick to be on the Pays hundreds of dollars just to sit in bed for a few days, could easily recover without any rest move Thinks he's dying just because he has a runny No one comes to visit him because he has no friends nose The Chad "EPIDEMIC" Refuses to stay still, es- capes quarantine to infect as many people as possible through physical contact Projectile vomits into the air just to do splash damage to anyone near him PLAZA HO TEL CHANDLER QUARANTINE Is infected with deadly virus that causing immune system shutdown and bleeding from orfices. Will 100% be dead in a few hours, Covered in boils filled with delicious, juicy pus. BUGI People refuse to be near him, he touches and infects them anyway. The goverment has to waste massive amounts of resources to contain him as to prevent spread of the virus Will eventually infect every woman in Los Angeles, thereby having been inside millions of women like a true Chad.

Virgin vs. Chad
virgin v chad virgin vs chad sick epidemic swine flu ebola coronavirus virgin walk chad stride

The Virgin Issues Voter vs. The Chad Low Information Voter

The Virgin The Chad Issues Voter Low Information Voter Gets his news from YouTube and Reddit Content with life, doesn't care about the world's problems Votes for whoever he thinks will win, hasn't guessed wrong since 1968 Wastes his life caring about problems that will never be addressed Will cry for days if his candidate doesn't win Thinks participating in liberal democracy will change anything Spends all of his time reading polling and political analysis Loves his country, votes out of a sense of duty and patriotism Gets his news from legacy media funded by the world's top corporations Hates his country, still votes in its elections anyway Politics doesn't even cross his mind MANN/ outside of the voting Voted Ballot gets uncounted and BIDE booth Wingcuckery has immediately thrown out Ballot gets counted 5 times over Always makes it back home in time for the big game cost him whole friendships Wastes vote on far left candidate who Gerrymandered district makes him wait in line for hours won't win or far right candidate who won't win Gets chauffeured to the front of the voting line by his church group Doesnt even know what a political spectrum is MED ALL
The Virgin The Chad Issues Voter Low Information Voter Gets his news from YouTube and Reddit Content with life, doesn't care about the world's problems Votes for whoever he thinks will win, hasn't guessed wrong since 1968 Wastes his life caring about problems that will never be addressed Will cry for days if his candidate doesn't win Thinks participating in liberal democracy will change anything Spends all of his time reading polling and political analysis Loves his country, votes out of a sense of duty and patriotism Gets his news from legacy media funded by the world's top corporations Hates his country, still votes in its elections anyway Politics doesn't even cross his mind MANN/ outside of the voting Voted Ballot gets uncounted and BIDE booth Wingcuckery has immediately thrown out Ballot gets counted 5 times over Always makes it back home in time for the big game cost him whole friendships Wastes vote on far left candidate who Gerrymandered district makes him wait in line for hours won't win or far right candidate who won't win Gets chauffeured to the front of the voting line by his church group Doesnt even know what a political spectrum is MED ALL

Virgin vs. Chad
virgin vs chad voter bernie sanders joe biden

The Becky Candace vs. The Stacy Vanessa

The Becky Candace THE STACY VANESSA Spends her entire summer trying to get her brothers in trouble SLEEK BLACK OUTFIT Never succeeds STOLE PERRYS CAR AT GUNPOINT in busting her brothers WITH NO UNDENIABLY BETTER CONSEQUENCES AT SINGING Awkward around her crush/bf AGE APPROPRIATE KNOWS HER FATHER IS EVIL, Is 16, figure of a 9 year old PIGURE LOVES HIM DESPITE HIS Caves to pressure of her friends and FLAWS AND ONLY TRIES TO BUST HIM LIKE TWICE occasionally brothers PROBABLY MORE EVIL THAN HER FATHER SEDUCES CANDACES Thinks Perry is just a stupid animal STEPBRO WITH 4 WORDS Constantly annoys her mom with phone calls FOR SOME REASON EASIER TO DRAW KNOWS PERRYS SECRET IDENTITY, DOESN'T CARE Clothes look "like a DRIVES A FERRARI candy cane"
The Becky Candace THE STACY VANESSA Spends her entire summer trying to get her brothers in trouble SLEEK BLACK OUTFIT Never succeeds STOLE PERRYS CAR AT GUNPOINT in busting her brothers WITH NO UNDENIABLY BETTER CONSEQUENCES AT SINGING Awkward around her crush/bf AGE APPROPRIATE KNOWS HER FATHER IS EVIL, Is 16, figure of a 9 year old PIGURE LOVES HIM DESPITE HIS Caves to pressure of her friends and FLAWS AND ONLY TRIES TO BUST HIM LIKE TWICE occasionally brothers PROBABLY MORE EVIL THAN HER FATHER SEDUCES CANDACES Thinks Perry is just a stupid animal STEPBRO WITH 4 WORDS Constantly annoys her mom with phone calls FOR SOME REASON EASIER TO DRAW KNOWS PERRYS SECRET IDENTITY, DOESN'T CARE Clothes look "like a DRIVES A FERRARI candy cane"

Virgin vs. Chad
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Virgin Stranding v. METAL CHAD SOLID

VIRGIN SAM PORTER BRIDGES Vs. CHAD SOLID SNAKE Glorified errand boy doing fetch quests. Only in one game with no sequels Legendary character beloved in every generation of gaming Spends his life painstakingly assembling structures only to have them disintegrate hours later Harassed by bullies like Brad MULES and Vlad terrorists Never uses p--- except to defeat his enemies Kidnaps elite soldiers and animals with goddamn hot air balloons Way too much f------ cargo crippled his back, relies on cybernetic handicap legs Master of Close Quarters Combat Cringes away from all human contact, even hot babes Only metal in his body are arrows left in deliberately to intimidate foes Literally has a CRYING BABY strapped to chest Can use any weapon known to man Weapons are mostly harmless or made of pee and poop Deadly weapons and manly gear strapped to chest Delivers old video games and scavenged underwear Has the power of life and death over his foes, can kill or spare at will Delivers death Can't kill anyone or humanity might end Shakes controller like a gimp to comfort infant Presses X to pay respects Gets deadlier and more Trips and falls on rocks every thirty seconds. S----- boots must be replaced daily Barely alive. Has to eat gross magic grubs to survive Can sneak into anywhere, even in eye catching highlighter boots badass the older he gets. Eats f------ snakes because he can
VIRGIN SAM PORTER BRIDGES Vs. CHAD SOLID SNAKE Glorified errand boy doing fetch quests. Only in one game with no sequels Legendary character beloved in every generation of gaming Spends his life painstakingly assembling structures only to have them disintegrate hours later Harassed by bullies like Brad MULES and Vlad terrorists Never uses p--- except to defeat his enemies Kidnaps elite soldiers and animals with goddamn hot air balloons Way too much f------ cargo crippled his back, relies on cybernetic handicap legs Master of Close Quarters Combat Cringes away from all human contact, even hot babes Only metal in his body are arrows left in deliberately to intimidate foes Literally has a CRYING BABY strapped to chest Can use any weapon known to man Weapons are mostly harmless or made of pee and poop Deadly weapons and manly gear strapped to chest Delivers old video games and scavenged underwear Has the power of life and death over his foes, can kill or spare at will Delivers death Can't kill anyone or humanity might end Shakes controller like a gimp to comfort infant Presses X to pay respects Gets deadlier and more Trips and falls on rocks every thirty seconds. S----- boots must be replaced daily Barely alive. Has to eat gross magic grubs to survive Can sneak into anywhere, even in eye catching highlighter boots badass the older he gets. Eats f------ snakes because he can

Virgin vs. Chad
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Guide to handling social media controversy

"The Virgin Meltdown" THE CHAD CONSTRAINT ruins everyones timelines by causing a pointless uproar "muting this" th avoids making a scene deep breaths will be forever known as the person who had that one meltdown only creates more controversy in the process everything is fine overexplains literally everything PR disaster good job includes screenshots of people being mean as if that actually means anything pointless
"The Virgin Meltdown" THE CHAD CONSTRAINT ruins everyones timelines by causing a pointless uproar "muting this" th avoids making a scene deep breaths will be forever known as the person who had that one meltdown only creates more controversy in the process everything is fine overexplains literally everything PR disaster good job includes screenshots of people being mean as if that actually means anything pointless

Virgin vs. Chad
virgin v chad virgin vs chad social networking social network virgin walk chad stride

The Virgin Otis v. KEN ALLEN, THE CHAD HAIRY HOUDINI

Virgin Otis Chad Ken Allen AKA Hairy Houdini Big brain full of knowledge Small brain Peaceful and enjoys human interaction Shares his knowledge on how to escape his enclosure with his peers Hates Ken Skilled hands able REEEE to open his enclosure and throw rocks at Otis Screams when Ken escapes his cage and then laughs at him Had Escape proof enclosure still manages Glorous cheek bones, chin and muscles to escape Only knows Everyone loves him and he how to use his hands President of Orangu-gang Pack full of females to complain Loves everyone still doesn't have kids except of Otis Big babymaker Helps Zoo keepers make money Legs able to outrun Zoo keepers
Virgin Otis Chad Ken Allen AKA Hairy Houdini Big brain full of knowledge Small brain Peaceful and enjoys human interaction Shares his knowledge on how to escape his enclosure with his peers Hates Ken Skilled hands able REEEE to open his enclosure and throw rocks at Otis Screams when Ken escapes his cage and then laughs at him Had Escape proof enclosure still manages Glorous cheek bones, chin and muscles to escape Only knows Everyone loves him and he how to use his hands President of Orangu-gang Pack full of females to complain Loves everyone still doesn't have kids except of Otis Big babymaker Helps Zoo keepers make money Legs able to outrun Zoo keepers

Virgin vs. Chad
virgin v chad virgin vs chad ken allen hairy houdini virgin walk chad stride

Virgin Loomis v. CHAD HOGARTH

The virgin Loomis The CHAD Hogarth Bends the rules of perspective to suit his own needs Cares about perspective. Uses any proportions he wants Uses 9.5 Heads Makes sure the proportions are correct. Uses 8 heads Lacks any well defined muscles. Every single No shading, muscle is well defined and developed Every bump is shaded full range of value Stiff and unrealistic. Dynamic and Hyperrealistic
The virgin Loomis The CHAD Hogarth Bends the rules of perspective to suit his own needs Cares about perspective. Uses any proportions he wants Uses 9.5 Heads Makes sure the proportions are correct. Uses 8 heads Lacks any well defined muscles. Every single No shading, muscle is well defined and developed Every bump is shaded full range of value Stiff and unrealistic. Dynamic and Hyperrealistic

Virgin vs. Chad
virgin v chad virgin vs chad loomis hogarth virgin walk chad stride

Virgin Polnareff v. CHAD HOL HORSE

Has NEVER been attacked in the bathroom Half his friends are like dead 100% human Forever alone The gun is mightier than the sword Will die a turtle Long, luscious blonde hair Is an epic cowboy Not even a chariot (SCAM) Has no girlfriend Ladies all over the world Has the best stand name (Emperor) Cant walk up the stairs French Respects women Cool accent Bad luck with toilets Almost killed Dio Hair like a toothbrush The gun is mightier than the sword Called Nena a bitch Always part of a duo (friendship) Not able to control his own stand (WEAK)
Has NEVER been attacked in the bathroom Half his friends are like dead 100% human Forever alone The gun is mightier than the sword Will die a turtle Long, luscious blonde hair Is an epic cowboy Not even a chariot (SCAM) Has no girlfriend Ladies all over the world Has the best stand name (Emperor) Cant walk up the stairs French Respects women Cool accent Bad luck with toilets Almost killed Dio Hair like a toothbrush The gun is mightier than the sword Called Nena a bitch Always part of a duo (friendship) Not able to control his own stand (WEAK)

Virgin vs. Chad
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Virgin fanart v. CHAD DOODLE

The Virgin fanart THE CHAD DOODLE OUCH!
The Virgin fanart THE CHAD DOODLE OUCH!

Virgin vs. Chad
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Virgin Raider v. UNCHADED

Virgin Raider UnChaded Cries Constantly No romantic partner Never Cries Has two Stacy's competing over him "I HaTe ToMbS!" Amazing one liners and dad jokes Mortified after first kill, then goes on murder rampage Rip-off of Indiana Jones one of the Greatest Has to use ice axe to films of all time climb Opens game killing pirates gives no f---- Reboot is a rip-off of Chads games but Let's Chad mentor Croft Massive hands and DaRkEr die in first game arms from climbing Keeps Sully alive for all 4 games Chinese Island, South Allies with exception of America, Siberia Corft and Jonah are whiny All games take you around the world to unique locations Allies are lovable rogues such as himself
Virgin Raider UnChaded Cries Constantly No romantic partner Never Cries Has two Stacy's competing over him "I HaTe ToMbS!" Amazing one liners and dad jokes Mortified after first kill, then goes on murder rampage Rip-off of Indiana Jones one of the Greatest Has to use ice axe to films of all time climb Opens game killing pirates gives no f---- Reboot is a rip-off of Chads games but Let's Chad mentor Croft Massive hands and DaRkEr die in first game arms from climbing Keeps Sully alive for all 4 games Chinese Island, South Allies with exception of America, Siberia Corft and Jonah are whiny All games take you around the world to unique locations Allies are lovable rogues such as himself

Virgin vs. Chad
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Alexios v. Kratos

vs the virgin alexios the chad kratos has no his sister becomes good by touching a f------ spear took the time to personnality, can be compliment a guy, then be an fleshed out character, bond with his son may be an in a natural way a------ to the next person for no a------ at probably first, but reason keeps using the axe gifted to him by his wife dismantles all weapons gifted becomes wise to him and regrets is a demi god just for the plot his actions this one f----- killed the whole was a demigod but has made the AC franchise not a spartan, becomes the GOW series one runs through endless fields f------ god of war and rarely even tho he was of the best in the industry raised by a spartan general stumbles trained by himself makes you learn everything about greek mythology upon historical and became a monuments thinks he is the savior of greece spartan general son of pythagoras has a cringey and forced greek accent destroyed all of son of f------ zeus speaks with an p---- has to search greece all of greece for a cannot relate american accent set of armor to him changes his sexuality all the people who deal with grief can totally relate to his story rarely wears armor,if not at all f----- all of greece, in the literal time and non literal meaning
vs the virgin alexios the chad kratos has no his sister becomes good by touching a f------ spear took the time to personnality, can be compliment a guy, then be an fleshed out character, bond with his son may be an in a natural way a------ to the next person for no a------ at probably first, but reason keeps using the axe gifted to him by his wife dismantles all weapons gifted becomes wise to him and regrets is a demi god just for the plot his actions this one f----- killed the whole was a demigod but has made the AC franchise not a spartan, becomes the GOW series one runs through endless fields f------ god of war and rarely even tho he was of the best in the industry raised by a spartan general stumbles trained by himself makes you learn everything about greek mythology upon historical and became a monuments thinks he is the savior of greece spartan general son of pythagoras has a cringey and forced greek accent destroyed all of son of f------ zeus speaks with an p---- has to search greece all of greece for a cannot relate american accent set of armor to him changes his sexuality all the people who deal with grief can totally relate to his story rarely wears armor,if not at all f----- all of greece, in the literal time and non literal meaning

Virgin vs. Chad
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Virgin Jacket Guy v. CHAD EVAN WRIGHT

THE VIRGIN JACKET GUY THE CHAD EVAN WRIGHT Hides his face He doesn't hide his Probably doesn't doesn't care for with a poultry Нe deeply cares face about his wife and mask anyone kids His actions ended up not serving any He's writting a book Kills everyone purpose Doesn't kill anyone, even those who are begging him for mercy unless they got him p----- off He has a girlfriend for like a few months He got married until she got killed
THE VIRGIN JACKET GUY THE CHAD EVAN WRIGHT Hides his face He doesn't hide his Probably doesn't doesn't care for with a poultry Нe deeply cares face about his wife and mask anyone kids His actions ended up not serving any He's writting a book Kills everyone purpose Doesn't kill anyone, even those who are begging him for mercy unless they got him p----- off He has a girlfriend for like a few months He got married until she got killed

Virgin vs. Chad
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