Woman Describes Morning Routine Of Drinking Coffee In Her Garden With Her Husband, Twitter Loses It

To paraphrase War Games, Twitter is a strange place. The only winning move is not to tweet.

The latest saga to demonstrate the perils of tweeting occurred over the past weekend. Friday afternoon, Twitter user @lilplantmami seemingly set the website ablaze after unleashing a tweet so fiery and so controversial that it racked up an astonishing 13,000 quote-tweets as people dissected it for all of its incendiary content.

Here is the offending tweet:

my husband and i wake up every morning and bring our coffee out to our garden and sit and talk for hours. every morning. it never gets old & we never run out of things to talk to. love him so much.

— daisey🌼🌱garden coffee lady (@lilplantmami) October 21, 2022

@lilplantmami's appreciation for her husband, garden and coffee may seem extremely innocuous and even wholesome, yet in perhaps the most egregious example of Twitter overreaction yet, her post sent some on the site into a discourse spiral.

In the replies to the husband/garden/coffee tweet, several posters appeared to take it as a boast and voiced complaints that the tweet did not align with their specific experiences. Others attempted to do a class-based critique, arguing that the couple's ability to drink coffee in the morning in a garden suggested they lived a villainously bourgeois lifestyle.

Some also attempted to rain on her parade by noting that she and her husband had only been married a few months, so soon their conversation well will run dry and they'll become unhappy.

I wake up everyday with chronic pain (tarsal tunnel syndrome), and wash my OCD medication down with an iced oat milk latte. But Wuteva -PotatoE poTotO ama rite?.

— KarlMaldensNose (@FerreroGreg) October 22, 2022

No, no. They’re a “small business owner” so they are actively participating in taking advantage of other people’s labour so they can have these blissful mornings. They ARE Capitalism.

— Jackie (@JackieLittle) October 23, 2022

Very nice story, but haven’t you been married for less than 4 months? This phase will end, it always does. Please don’t be disheartened when it does. Remember, love is a choice, not a feeling.

— Church🇻🇦Militant 🏴‍☠️ (@Dadoften10) October 22, 2022

While these negative responses were largely outnumbered by statements of general support (albeit with a tinge of jealousy), they were amplified by people gobsmacked that a not-insignificant amount of Twitter grumps were able to take issue with a woman feeling grateful for being able to chat with her husband in the morning in their garden.

When the complaints spread, the tweet became a catalyst for people to discuss the perils of posting, as people commented on the deranged character of Twitter.

the vibe of this tweet’s comments section https://t.co/Ej2EKKCePD pic.twitter.com/cfxokeUT1J

— Dani Donovan 👩🏻‍🎨 ADHD Comics (@danidonovan) October 23, 2022

I can't afford coffee. The only thing I have to drink in the garden is bird bath water. Because I'm a robin. I'm an actual bird. This tweet is not relatable to my experience as a literal bird. I can't get a house because I'm a bird and can't apply for a mortgage. Privileged bitch https://t.co/WghelXr6fa

— Two Time Emmy Winner Ali B (@wtflanksteak) October 23, 2022

I feel like this is causing so much uproar because so many people are experiencing lovelessness and indifference from people they're even romantically connected with, and seeing someone experience friendship and love that seems calm, balanced and easy is infuriating. https://t.co/MiUacd0EGb

— CEO of Yelling FRSA (@ChantayyJayy) October 23, 2022

The "Great Garden Coffee Incident of 2022" has largely died down, and @lilplantmami appears to have taken the bizarre controversy in stride, changing her handle to reflect that she is the "garden coffee lady." Still, the saga proves once again that the only way to win at Twitter is to never tweet.