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X-COM - Rookie Rundown

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As you begin to play UFO Defense, you'l start with soldiers Ike this felow a Rookie He may not look like much, because he isnt Rookies are retards You will leam to expect ittle from them, and anticipate failure Let's take this Rookie for a test run to demonstrate Now, as a member of an X COM (eXtraterrestrial-COMbat) squad your job will be to protect Earth from the threat of ALENS. What's that,Rookie? Don't believe in Aiens? Wel, they believe in youl And they'l sooner teabag you than give you the time of day As an X-Com operative, your job is to act outside of the law You wil kill aliens, and.. . probably r--- civilians This is the military, after al We don't answer to s--- Looks ike our Rookie is ready for his first chalengel Let's demonstrate the combat ability of an X-Com Rookie We dont want our Rookie hurt, so We've brought a simple Gray up trom the brig A-LI-EN ROOKIE HAS PANICKED Damn it, Rookie. sigh Our Rookie has become terrified As a result, he wil drop his weapon and waste a turn Rookies are prone to this as they are both cowardly and moronic 4 Suck it up, Rookiel t's just an unarmed Gray we captured last week. Now that our Rookie has voided his bowels it seems he's ready to fight said READY TO FIGHT While our Rookie may lack hardiness he must always remember that he doesn't NEED courage He works for the government And he has a GUNI Our Rookie's pistol is little more than a rubber band and popsicle stbcks Combined with his natural abiity it leaves much to be desired AIMED HOT LOLA, NAP SHOT a ooo Now, Rookie, equip your- The F--- are you THAT IS NOT HOW YOU USE A PISTOL, ROOKE EQUIP THE PISTOL PROPERLY Now, with the Rookie's hands firmly on the weapon we select the aiming method WAP SHOT a.oo01 You may recall that our Rookies PANT already rancid aim does not mesh well with a pistol For a rookie, it's best to stick to quick single-fire Snap shots Now, calmly, and slowly, take aim CALMLY AND SLOWLY WITH SINGLE-FIRE SNAP SHOTS AIM AIM ot GoD Son of a BITCH He's like FIVE FEET FROM YOU JUST F--- BLAM And that's what playing with an X-Com Rookie is like For our next demonstration, let's see what ALIEN Rookies can do Dumbass Rookies

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