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Lady on the bus next to me: Tell me again- what are you not going to do in daycare today? Little boy: I will not hit the teacher with a light saber. Lady: And why are you not going to hit her with a light saber? Boy: It is my toy, and my choice, but if I hit her with the light saber, I'm acting like a Sith. Lady: Do you want to be a Sith? Boy: No! I am Obi-Wan!

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star wars tumblr joke

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fulgur-caligo-custodis kurlyfryz Power move: Next time you go to the airport, bring a bottle of shampoo, but it's filled with yogurt. When they tell you that liquids aren't allowed Drink it Posted in r/madlads by u/ProbablyM_S reddit

lesbianshepard Jul 24 travelling next week for work. googled the nearest city and none of you are prepared to see what passes for the local style pizza. lesbianshepard Jul 24 this should be a crime lesbianshepard Jul 25 #someone needs to die for this #divorced dad type food #is the local chef a 12 year old latchkey kid? #as a new yorker im about to k J elf #abolish all prisons except one for these guys #that is a crime where I'm from #I'm anti regional food variation shaming but this is a crime man #mamma mia. #i took like a deep shuddering breath #i feel nauseous. #oh no they should be shot #literally the closest thing to anti-Italian racism the reviews are in: Pennsylvania must pay for its crimes

theaccidentfactory Follow I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby theaccidentfactory English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking s about the neighbor's son

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This originally involved Christmas and dinosaurs. But this is somehow funnier.

ooO Sprint 4:58 AM COMMUNITY GUIDELINES This image has been removed for violating one or more of Tumblr's Community Guidelines. dungeonsanddragonsfandom F------ YES IT'S BACK jack-the-lion EVERY YEAR!!! XD Source: beksboys 261,488 notes

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Merry Christmas! YOU'RE GETTING OLD.

merryxigmas they've been playing the same goddamn M&Ms christmas commercial for the past 8 years myutsuuu he does exist! 3tno they do exist merryxigmas oohh....*faints sparagm0s santa? usbdongle eight years what the f--- are you talking about that commerical is from 19- goddamn-96 thats not 8 years that;s 18 years toastydoodles M&M's commercial (1996) Meeting Santa - YouTube www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LVTfjnEbhk ▼ Nov 29, 2012 - Uploaded by singalongsongy2 Christmas faint commercial.... M&M's commercial (1996) Meeting Santa. Meeting M&M's·<a href.. 0:16 WHAT ruecian it's that time of the year again. time to bring back this reminder

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I Helped My Uncle Jack Off A Horse

inexplicablesatsuma shmeards informal poll f--- boys get money" means a) Forget boys, accrue wealth instead b) Have sex with boys and get money for it c) F--- Boys-ie, boys who d) Argh!! Boys are paid well e) Shoot, boys sure understand money 鶅warpedchyld God bless punctuation and the English language Source: shmeards 229,990 notes

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shrimp

wheremyshrimps what's it called when a shrimp kills another shrimp bigshrimpass a krilling spree wheremyshrimps no it's f------ murder

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Month of Robots

to summarize tumblr this november: 0 0 everyone having the hots for robots

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I don't even know which spot it took

10 Pranks That Went Way Too Far by Alltime10s 3 hours ago 26,709 views It's all fun and games, until someone gets 6:38 moonriv I'd say so Source: moonriv #the burn

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i drew this little friend

s to deend hie tris i jast cruel and sad I will resurrect many time with more strangth

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I want Food Network descriptions of basic foods in the comments.

miss-nerdgasmz: grandwhizbang When you have to make your own food, and you've been watching too much food network lately What you have before you are deconstructed, rustic chicken breast fritters coated lightly in breadcrumbs and toasted until crisp and golden- the sauce is a tomato, worcestershire, and vinegar reduction, with the vinegar for some brightness, and some brown sugar for sweetness to offset the umami of the chicken

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Turbo Shit

estrongestman 57,056 serving-carl sagan-realness+ sn an turntechgoddamnit astradamu aforpresiden WHY ARE THERE STRAPS ON HIS LEGS I AM LAUGHING SO HARD POWER TO MAIN THRUSTERS ALL SYSTEMS ARE GO TURBO S--- BUT HE'S STILL WEARING HIS PANTS pants aren't an issue when you're QUANTUM S------- THROUGH THE nTH DIMENSION Source: forever-666

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What a monster

classyroar: kissmelou as a college student, my favorite words are "canceled" and "free" Free pizza is cancelled Why would you even say something like that the f--- is even wrong with with you

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It's like those "Doctors Hate Him"/1 Evil Trick ads that you see every now and again. Or the ads below this image for that matter.

complacentmoon: the-eagle-atarian: So when are we as a society going to reject clickbait-tier journalism? The answer may surprise you!

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+58

Tumblr - LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SITH

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

Lady on the bus next to me: Tell me again- what are you not going to do in daycare today? Little boy: I will not hit the teacher with a light saber. Lady: And why are you not going to hit her with a light saber? Boy: It is my toy, and my choice, but if I hit her with the light saber, I'm acting like a Sith. Lady: Do you want to be a Sith? Boy: No! I am Obi-Wan!

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Kupoman — ♪♫

Kupoman — ♪♫

Dec 04, 2015 at 09:16AM EST

+40

Mistress Fortune

Mistress Fortune

Dec 05, 2015 at 02:02AM EST in reply to baldarek

Oh come on, this one doesn't sound that "out there" to be that unbelievable. I know if I was a parent I'd probably be teaching my kids "be a Paragon, not a Renegade."

+23

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