“It all started when David Bowie and Alan Rickman died in the same week. Everyone was feeling pretty shity until this cool game called Overwatch came out, and everyone loved it, even the people who didn’t play it because it gave them good porn. But then a couple months later this piece of shit called No Man’s Sky came out and then everyone got fucking depressed again. But before that happened, a gorilla was shot in a Cincinnati zoo. People cared for about 5 minutes and then went back to playing Overwatch, but then some guy said ‘dicks out for Harambe’, and that’s why there’s a giant gorilla on Mt. Rushmore now. Then Britain ended up leaving the European Union-"

"What's that, dad?"

"Exactly my point. Anyways, after No Man’s Sky came out, people started relying on ironic memes to get through this hell known as 2016. Everything was kinda okay until it turned out America was stuck between voting for an overgrown orange with tiny hands and a literal lizard woman – that’s when shit really hit the fan. Long story short, the orange won, and that’s why America is great again. And by great again, I mean it doesn’t even exist anymore. And that’s basically 2016, at least until December rolls around and it turns out Santa Claus is actual the devil or something.”

"Holy shit."