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Picardía / Thumbs Up Emoji Man - average australian day

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When the emu warlord across the street steals all your trash and you take it as a war declaration, so you get ready for the 300-km drive to the nearest shooting range, in order to collect the BB gun you are allowed to own for self-defense that is locked in a safe there, but when you reach for the car keys on your dining room table two hidden funnel web spiders and a coastal taipan bite your arm, causing you to accidentally knock down and break the CyHV-3 vial you were keeping to aid your other war effort against the European Carp, immediately infecting your whole body with carp herpes, but when you get in your car to drive to the hospital you notice it doesn't start because Abos have siphoned out the fuel again, and you don't have any herpes cream left, so you spend the rest of the day applying Vegemite to your itching skin while shitposting BBC and BLACKED threads on /pol/.

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