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Virgin vs. Chad - The Virgin IDM Musician vs Techno Producer Chad by lacertasomnium

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THE VIRGIN IDM MUSICIAN TECHNO PRODUCER CHAD No hair, thinks he's above personal appearance Regularly spends 3 consecutive days doing drugs in a basement; still keeps perfect tan. No hair to withstand heat of thousand bodies dancing Weak pale skin. Never leaves studio. Parties for 72 hours Has to invent new coding language just so someone will find his work interesting Is invited by pitchfork to play 20 min at the s-------- stage no one is able to find Optimal physical health; beautiful muscles toned by sheer vibrations from his own bass Can leave a single 16-step acid bassline for an hour people still feel their mind melt straight edge because he can't operate his machines on single beer 120000$ synth because he needs 8 voices for lame chords Is invited by Berghain to play for 10 hours straight. Used 808 and 303 because they were the cheapest he could find, created music so awesome they now cost thousand of dollars audience has to do speed just to keep up "IDM is a stupid name" Sends demos to Warp Records every day Clothing scientifically engineered to be pentablack Own label Elegant vynyl pressings Shift drum patterns every bar just to keep listeners interested

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