Half-Life - I rather get my balls being electrified by a Vortigaunt while my head is shoved up a Gargantua a------.

Fact we've gotten Duke Nukem Forever, Final Fantasy XV (originally Versus XIII), and Kingdom Hearts 3 before we ever see Valve release a game with "3" in the name really hits home how damn long we've been waiting.

I'd rather eat out a female Antlion while tap dancing with the zombies to the tune of Cotton Eye Joe at the same time as Dog resonance cascading my asshole with Gordon Freeman's signature crowbar while Dr. Kleiner tickles my ballsack by having his pet headcrab Lamarr latch onto it.