: Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)01:26:03 No.4510610 Gotta shleep. Any stories recommended? 36 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)02:51:01 No.4510808 there once was a man named enis >>4510821 # : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)03:28:38 No.4510821 >>4510808 # continue... >>4510836 # : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)03:56:36 No.4510836 >>4510821 # Penis >>4510853 # : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)03:59:51 No.4510853 >>4510836 # 24 KB JPG

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon posts the biggest cope | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)12:14:59 No.64126780 >tfw too high iq to be fulfilled by sex and relationship 379 KB JPG 11 Replies View Thread : Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)12:39:01 No.64127018 >>64126780 (OP) # a repeatedly debunked pseudo-science tests tells me my brain number is high so thats why I can't get laid! might asw just say it's cause you're a scorpio or some s---, d------- you can can't get laid cause you **think** ur big brain very smart

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Anon is paranoid | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous They know 07/27/18(Fri)19:19:29 No.1952343E >be me >fap >go out in public THEY KNOW 551 KB PNG

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Anon isn’t as funny as chad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)07:55:57 No.64128231 >At a study session with my uni group >Our group and another group sharing a table >librarian comes over and asks if she can help with anything >Popular guy says "I'll have a steak 34 KB JPG thanks" >Librarian laughs and says "this is a library, not a restaurant" >Popular guy whispers "sorry, l'll have a steak please" >Everyone laughs >l also say whisper "I'll have a steak too please" >No one laughs I don't understand bros. I literally made the EXACT same joke. Why is it only funny when this stupid Chad faced prick says it : Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)08:02:44 No.64128284 >>64128231 (OP) # because you stole the joke you unoriginal sperg. dont just steal his s---, its obvious that's what you tried to do, steal his shine : Anonymous 06/13/21(Sun)08:04:14 No.64128298 >>64128231 (OP) # >chad can come up with jokes like these on the spot F--- me, what a god tier ability to seduce everything around you, including males >>64128306 #

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Anon gets the B o o $ i | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sex stories 08/08/18(Wed)16:44:22 No.47367272 Sex stories /r9k/, I'll start >be me >15 beta >playing halo with friend at his house >a female i didnt know was here walks in >beautiful green eyes, black hair >"hi rose" 33 KB JPG >introduces me to rose, she just watches us play for a while >friend has to go to appointment, needs new glasses >he tells me to just play with rose until he's back >he leaves with his dad >she doesnt want to play halo so just watches me for another while >out of nowhere sally just sits on my lap and starts rubbing my chest >suddenly get a huge boost in confidence >feelsgoodman.jpg >l am a curious 15 year old, take the opportunity with my new confidence >turn her over and pound her hard >thank kek for my curiosity that led me to this moment >she is literally screaming, pretty sure its pleasure >its getting too loud >because of her screaming i didnt hear his dads car pull into the driveway >the screaming suddenly stops and she stops breathing >w--.jpg >l now realize my friend and his dad are home >he bursts into the room, not expecting to see me with my d--- inside rose who is now dead >mfw my curiosity killed my friends family cat

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Anon slept well | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/12/17(Thu)23:00:07 No.40366294 >love having pressure on top of me >buy a weighted blanket so I can have something snug and warm lay on top of me and feel like l'm being hugged 96 KB JPG >do more research >find out weighted blankets are made for autistic kids oh no

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Anon's goals are beyond our understanding | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)19:33:35 No.856438904 >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian How do you react? 98 KB JPG 83 Replies / 5 Images View Thread : Anonymous 06/09/21(Wed)22:45:29 No.856448735 >>856438904(OP)_# >Your daughter comes out as a lesbian If I have a daughter she will be forced to be a lesbian, ain't no way I'm letting her get dicked.

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At least anon tried | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 minuti fa 44099910 >at the bus stop >its raining >notice qt girl >shes getting drenched >place my umbrella over her >"umm no thanks" >takes five steps back 2 REPLIES

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Anon accidentally made his Chickens evolve. | /r/Greentext

>>36098782 (OP) # >have a chicken coop RESRET NOTHING >mice come for free gimmidats 422 KB GIF >have an old air rifle >decide to go full swat >rush in to catch mice off-guard >its very hard to hit a small moving target with a single shot rifle >shot one in the back, it couldn't move but it was still alive >chickens sense the distress and go full t-rex mode >now they acquired the taste for mice >chickens now actively hunt mice >mfw the problem has solved itself >>36117422 # >>36121592 #

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Elon guy #standwithelon to show him respect crypto coin . | /r/Greentext

You come home from a crappy day of work. You unlock your door, only to see Elon standing in your living room. There's a large cardboard box next to him. >"Hey, Anon-kun. Sometimes life is full of hardships. You're a good friend, so I 155 KB JPG thought you should have this. Enjoy, buddy." He walks to you and briefly places his hand on your shoulder before taking his leave. There's a noise heard coming from inside the box. >"Nyan?" #standwithelon-Coin

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Anon likes trains | /r/Greentext

File: a085d4bac10ea453ab115e80f(.).jpg (122 KB, 1013x1062) O Anonymous 06/12/21(Sat)15:09:14 No.856667774 [Reply] >be me, born f------ autist >have autist obsession with trains since birth >passed to me from granpa with boomer hobby >ffw now 18 finish highschool >want job driving train >cant get job driving train, pays 100k a year, everyone and their f------ mum wants the job for ez life >want job for autist passion, would still take job for wagecuck pay >cant get job so sign up at local tourist steam train >learn how steam train work >slowly work way up ladder >ffw 1 year, now work on train as fireman >shovel coal into train, make train chuff up hill >volunteer position, still a f------ neet >but train makes me happy >thankyou train TRAIN

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Anon tries to keep a fren | /r/Greentext

48m (6/10 14:24) · 64083005 1 Re · 0 Img · PNG · 20KB · (655 x 509) 1 Reply >be me >play vidiya >find a fren through vidiya >play every single day >first time I got to hang out since high school >later find out fren is trans >don't really care much >later find out fren is a minor as well >oh f--- >really worried >write them about being worried >they don't respond back >they cease all contact with me >my fren count is back to zero 2m (6/10 15:10) · 64083399 >>64083005 (OP) that's what you get for being a friend with a tranner

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All growns up | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/22/21(Sat)04:53:03 No.855019642 > cleaning the garage > find my mum's teddy she played with when she was a kid (70s) > check its pouch > find some really old seeds > decide to grow them > anons they are growing!! 745 KB JPG

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Greentext Stories - Anon gets told a bedtime story | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)01:26:03 No.4510610 Gotta shleep. Any stories recommended? 36 KB JPG : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)02:51:01 No.4510808 there once was a man named enis >>4510821 # : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)03:28:38 No.4510821 >>4510808 # continue... >>4510836 # : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)03:56:36 No.4510836 >>4510821 # Penis >>4510853 # : Anonymous 06/11/21(Fri)03:59:51 No.4510853 >>4510836 # 24 KB JPG

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