Zaporozhian Reply to Putin:

You Russian Satan, brother and comrade of the damned devil and secretary to Lucifer himself! What the hell kind of knight are you? The devil shits and you and your army swallows. You aren't fit to have the sons of Christians under you; we aren't afraid of your army, and we'll fight you on land and sea.

You Muscovite busboy, Chechen mechanic, Syrian beerbrewer, Belarussian goatskinner, swineherd of Upper and Lower Caucasuses, Armenian pig, Tatar goat, Novgorod's hangman, Crimean thief, grandson of the Evil Serpent himself, and buffoon of all the world and the netherworld, fool of our God, swine's snout, mare's asshole, butcher's dog, unbaptized brow, may the devil steam your ass!

That's how the cossacks answer you, you nasty glob of spit! You're unfit to rule true Christians. We don't know the date because we don't have a calendar, the moon is in the sky, and the year is in a book, and the day is the same with us as with you, so go kiss our ass.

Gotta love that modern touch with the finger on the corner