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Anonymous 12/02/10(Thu)21:42 No.80240XXX My dad would punish me with psychological torture. Drove me nuts. Here's an example: >As a kid >Tell Dad to F--- Off because I'm playing Super Nintendo >Dad, displeased at my French, begins to formulate his plot >Wake up the next morning >A small beanie-baby frog is on my pillow >Scares the crap out of me >Shrug it off >Go to eat breakfast >Pour cereal >Small beanie-baby frog comes out of box >What the f--- >Go to school >Backpack feels heavier than usual >Check middle pocket >Filled with, like, ten frogs >Am thoroughly scared now >Look out window to daydream as I often do >Beanie baby frog on outside windowsill >freak out in class >Sent out to hall >Get home >Pitch black because lights off and drapes pulled >Turn on light >ENTIRE F------ KITCHEN FILLED WITH BEANIE BABY FROGS WHAT THE F--- >Scream >Heavy knocks on door >Turn around >Man in frog suit pressing his face against the door > Scream >Run up to room >Lock the door >A single frog in the middle of the floor on top of a piece of paper >Lift up frog >Take note >Read note >"Open the door, son." >Scared, open door for frogman >Frogman, silently, slowly walks up to me >"I know it's you, Dad," I say. >He says in a voice nothing like my father's: "It is not, Anon." >I scream >He takes mask off >It's my Uncle >My dad comes into the house laughing like an idiot >l p----- myself >Dad laughs and says, "We don't say F---' in this house, boy. Now who's up for McDonald's?" Seriously Dad where did you get all those f------ beanie babies from

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext font

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>his waifu doesn't have access to a fleet of private satellites so that she can track a singular person anywhere on the planet and then call in her private B-52 to firebomb half of Afghanistan

Anonymous Failed shopping attempt 105 KB JPG 03/29/25(Sat) 07:38:26 No.80793301 They should stop hiring attractive women as sales associates in men's clothing shops. >be me >trying to buy shoes in a sneakers shop >needed to ask one of their workers to bring out a pair in my size >all the workers, besides one older dude, are attractive girls of my age >feel uncomfortable, but wait till that guy isn't busy and ask him >try the shoes on, it's not a great fit, want to ask for a different size >the guy is now nowhere to be seen >assemble all my courage and ask one of the female workers >8/10 beaty >"yeah, sure..." a bit of annoyance can be heard in her voice and the look of disgust isn't fully hidden on her face >"actually nevermind" >leave the shop F--- I HATE BEING LOOKED AT WITH DISGUST. Most likely would have bought something, if they hadn't decided to hire those Stacies View Thread

Anonymous 03/11/24(Mon) 18:13:14 No. 197128712 file.png 476 KB PNG >over the top, but fun action slop >good cinematography >pacing on point >good acting >certified kino >somehow flops this is why we can't have good things

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anon is high as a kite | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 348 KB JPG 04/06/22 (Wed)13:19:24 No.68093745 >be me >with a friend >We're both high as hell in LSD and 2C-B >My friend says "I'm going to my room i'll be back soon" >"ok" >*a minute passes* >"OH S--- HE'S KILLING HIMSELF" >I run to his room >I knock the door >"Man, are you killing yourself?" >"no bro i'm playing fallout new vegas"

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anon performs black magic | /r/Greentext

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Anon Asks An Innocent Question... | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: kKulvIE1) HADR 10/08/22(Sat)17:53:02 No.398885251 swgjd91zp6091.jpg 1.05 MB JPG ADE Whatever happened to the Reddit Volunteer Army in Ukraine? Did they all die?

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Anon can't satisfy his gf | /r/Greentext

12:15 O Anonymous 10/14/22(Fri)23:04:11 No.887339132 >Move in with GF after a few months of dating, s---- good >Find out she masturbates constantly 17 652 KB JPG >CONSTANTLY >Just sitting around watching tv, typing on her PC, scrolling social media, whenever she has a hand free it's in her underwear fingering herself >We had sex pretty often before I moved in and we still do now but i'm self conscious about the whole thing >Sometimes I ask her if she's in the mood for sex when I see her doing it and she says no before going back to masturbating >Other times she says we can if i'm in the mood and just sits there while I do everything and is just really disinterested >We still have sex a few times a week where it's normal but no matter what happens she just keeps masturbating like i'm not there It's been two weeks and i'm not sure how to bring it up. She never did this at my place and never does it in public but in her apartment she just fingers herself all the time. I don't know how to bring it up. A boards.4chan.org/b/threa 2 r |||

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True Love, 4chan style I guess. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 295 KB PNG 12/15/21(Wed)15:04:47 No.66575792 >girl I've been paying $600 a month to be my girlfriend says she's caught feelings for me and has started refusing my money >gave me back $1800 out of the $3000 I've paid so far >says she'll give me back the rest when she gets the money >wants to see me more often now What do I do now? Anonymous >>66575792 (OP) >What do I do now? enjoy your gf for free? 12/15/21 (Wed)15:07:20 No.66575822

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Anon ia god | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: xmdLKhfH 10/14/22(Fri)21:04:19 No.399820335 Kidneys From a Genetically Altered Pig Are Implanted in a Brain-Dead Patient >>399822316 # Surgeons at the University of Alabama at Birmingham said they hoped to start clinical trials with kidney patients later this year. pig god.png 1013 KB PNG 口 Dr. Jayme Locke, left, and Natalie Budd prepared t abdomen of the patient to receive the pig kidney at University of Alabama at Birmingham. Jeff Myers/ >NOOOO YOU CAN'T JUST TINKER WITH MY LEGOS

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Anon appreciates the beauty of nature | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/14/22(Fri)18:48:42 No.70589824 >>70585127 # >Doing acid with some friends >Sitting around on a patio >It starts storming, intense wind and heavy rain >Everything feels like a dream 201 KB JPG >Sky was this purplish color >We thought a tornado was coming because the wind was so intense >Wasn't scary, just cool >One of my friends is letting himself get showered by the rain >Join him >It feels awesome >This lasts for a couple hours The rest of the trip was pretty fun but at one point I lost my shirt so there were some stressful moments. I've also seen the birth of Christ on DMT but you had to be there.

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Wholesome greentext | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 72 KB PNG 01/03/19(Thu)01:55:21 No.788966543 I know nobody is going to care, but I need to share it with someone >be me, 20, never had a girlfriend/been with a girl before (actual sperg) >decide to have a kickback at my house on New Years Eve; 10 or so people just smoking weed and watching movies >one of my best friends, who i've known since 7th grade is there >she's just chilling with her head in my lap, which is normal since we're pretty close >solid 7/10, always had feelings for her, just too awkward to make a move, and i figured she was out of my league >I pass my controller to one of my friends when all the sudden she pulls me down >kisses me on the cheek, and after the initial shock I kiss her back >we end up making out for a couple of minutes, and spend the rest of the night in each others arms >texts me the next day to tell me that she's had feelings for me for a long time, but she was too afraid to tell me >I tell her the same thing We're now dating, and i've literally never been happier before. I know it was a s----- story and nobody cares, but I don't have a lot of friends and I had to tell someone

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anon is femboy and a disappointment to society | /r/Greentext

Anonymous DR 289 KB JPG 05/10/22(Tue)01:05:07 No.68561944 >female friend invites me to watch cartoons with her and her friends >pretty fun >they want me to watch stuff with them next week too >get invited to their group discord >they call their weekly cartoon / anime watching girl's night >ask why they invited a guy to girl's night >they say I don't count >ask why >"you're basically a girl" What the f---? I'm a 6'1 man

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Anon might get doxxed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 51 KB JPG 10/15/22(Sat)00:39:17 No.89214235 >makes employees spent hours blurring everything around his house during video editing so internet weirdos can't track his house location >visits Amazon using personal laptop during a livestream and leaks his full address to 16K viewers You can't make this up

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Anon Is A Military Wife | /r/Greentext

: verify your girl >>887329211 10/14/22(Fri)21:45:07 No.887332662 >be me >24 y/o femanon, been f------ the same guy for 6 years >never had much sexual experience outside my bf >bf decides to join the military >i can finally unleash my inner slut >fast forward to now >bf has been deployed for six months, told him when he gets back i will marry him >i have already f----- at least 15 guys while he was gone >while hes out there in the field suffering, probably gonna die, i've been out here living the dream >life is good He has no idea ive been cheating on him Imao

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Anon critiques FOS | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: uHhtN7J4 10/13/22(Thu)22:15:12 >Be American >Claim you have freedumb of speech >Use freedumb of speech >Lose 1 billion dollar >>399756579 #

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Greentext Stories - Greentext classics: Frog Dad | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 12/02/10(Thu)21:42 No.80240XXX My dad would punish me with psychological torture. Drove me nuts. Here's an example: >As a kid >Tell Dad to F--- Off because I'm playing Super Nintendo >Dad, displeased at my French, begins to formulate his plot >Wake up the next morning >A small beanie-baby frog is on my pillow >Scares the crap out of me >Shrug it off >Go to eat breakfast >Pour cereal >Small beanie-baby frog comes out of box >What the f--- >Go to school >Backpack feels heavier than usual >Check middle pocket >Filled with, like, ten frogs >Am thoroughly scared now >Look out window to daydream as I often do >Beanie baby frog on outside windowsill >freak out in class >Sent out to hall >Get home >Pitch black because lights off and drapes pulled >Turn on light >ENTIRE F------ KITCHEN FILLED WITH BEANIE BABY FROGS WHAT THE F--- >Scream >Heavy knocks on door >Turn around >Man in frog suit pressing his face against the door > Scream >Run up to room >Lock the door >A single frog in the middle of the floor on top of a piece of paper >Lift up frog >Take note >Read note >"Open the door, son." >Scared, open door for frogman >Frogman, silently, slowly walks up to me >"I know it's you, Dad," I say. >He says in a voice nothing like my father's: "It is not, Anon." >I scream >He takes mask off >It's my Uncle >My dad comes into the house laughing like an idiot >l p----- myself >Dad laughs and says, "We don't say F---' in this house, boy. Now who's up for McDonald's?" Seriously Dad where did you get all those f------ beanie babies from

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