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Greentext Stories - Greentext classics: Frog Dad | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 12/02/10(Thu)21:42 No.80240XXX My dad would punish me with psychological torture. Drove me nuts. Here's an example: >As a kid >Tell Dad to F--- Off because I'm playing Super Nintendo >Dad, displeased at my French, begins to formulate his plot >Wake up the next morning >A small beanie-baby frog is on my pillow >Scares the crap out of me >Shrug it off >Go to eat breakfast >Pour cereal >Small beanie-baby frog comes out of box >What the f--- >Go to school >Backpack feels heavier than usual >Check middle pocket >Filled with, like, ten frogs >Am thoroughly scared now >Look out window to daydream as I often do >Beanie baby frog on outside windowsill >freak out in class >Sent out to hall >Get home >Pitch black because lights off and drapes pulled >Turn on light >ENTIRE F------ KITCHEN FILLED WITH BEANIE BABY FROGS WHAT THE F--- >Scream >Heavy knocks on door >Turn around >Man in frog suit pressing his face against the door > Scream >Run up to room >Lock the door >A single frog in the middle of the floor on top of a piece of paper >Lift up frog >Take note >Read note >"Open the door, son." >Scared, open door for frogman >Frogman, silently, slowly walks up to me >"I know it's you, Dad," I say. >He says in a voice nothing like my father's: "It is not, Anon." >I scream >He takes mask off >It's my Uncle >My dad comes into the house laughing like an idiot >l p----- myself >Dad laughs and says, "We don't say F---' in this house, boy. Now who's up for McDonald's?" Seriously Dad where did you get all those f------ beanie babies from

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