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: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)13:29:01 No.865123914 a72b9062e0d32ffb434605d7252773c1.jpg 1024 KB JPG *dumbledore walks up the stage* *everyone clapping and cheering* >dumbledore: welcome welcome to... *people clap* >dumbledore: i admire your enthusiasm but please try to hold it just for a minute >welcome to... HOGWARTS HOTTEST TWINK COMPETITION!!! *people go crazy clapping and cheering* >as you all know this is the final round, dumbledore said >please welcome the final contestants: >haaaarrrry pooootttteeeerrrr AND draaaaccoooo maaalfoooy *people cheer* *harry and draco shows up dressed in the normal hogwarts uniform* >hope you didn't wear your best thigh highs just to lose potter? >i did malfoy, the pink one but not to lose *malfoy getting visibly nervous* >dumbledore: okey boys, show us what you got *complete silence* *harry and malfoy take a deep breath and rip off their uniform revealing fat asses and thigh highs* >you chose the the black thigh high huh malfoy? >i play to win potter *the crowd goes nuts* >dumbledore: let's begin, START THE MUSIC!!! *ok boomer start playing* *harry and malfoy start doing the ok boomer dance and taking every chance to show ass* *3 hours later* >dumbledore holding the mike: THEY ARE STILL DANCING FOR 3 HOURS!!! >but it's time to decide who won >is it... harry? *the crowd claps hard* >or is it... malfoy? FIN *the crowd goes NUTS* >malfoy: you know why you lost potter? >*tearing* why is that malfoy? >because people like the "i'm disappointing my father" energy, and you are fatherless potter FATHERLESS *potter crying like a lil bitch*

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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Anon transforms | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB PNG 09/16/18(Sun)23:02:27 No.780057804 >be me >watch greentext videos on youtube >decide to go to the source >browse r9k and b looking for greentexts >all i find is p--- >decide to make my own >immediately after posting my girlfriend calls and breaks up with me >parents call me and tell me im disowned >boss fires me >suddenly feel a huge gain in weight >i now have 3 more chins, all covered in hair >my stomach is so big I can't see below my waist >clothes sink into all of my flab >I now weigh so much that I can't move any part of my body besides fingers >I can't even click off of this godforsaken website Help me fellow anons wat do

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Anon is a conspiracy theorist. | /r/Greentext

the receiving an important new mission from President George Bush on September 10th 2001 Anonymous 01/15/23(Sun)21:08:21 No.892685020 7/11 was a full-time job.

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Anon tries to flirt | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 124 KB PNG 06/20/21(Sun)05:25:44 No.64226425 >Cute gal looks at me. >Try to think of a non-cringy compliment. >Notice she has some wacky sandals on. >Think to compliment her on those. >"Hey, nice feet." comes out of my mouth instead. >See the look of disgust on her face >Instantly die inside.

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Anon pirates a game | /r/Greentext

25202 10 >run pirated game >printer starts making noise >full black page, both sides 1 REPLY

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Anon creates a core memory for his daughter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I f----- up real bad 01/13/23(Fri)02:56:53 No.71798696 >typing this from inside an IHOP rn >share joint custody of my daughter with my ex >both think I'm a loser because all I do is talk about Japanese weaponry on 4chan and play MK 760 KB JPG >daughter's birthday comes around (at ex's house), so I decide to show them how cool I am >wrap my 25 in. machete up in gift wrap and it to the party >ex: "wow, you remembered to bring a gift" >shutupbitch.gif >time to break open pinata comes around and I excuse myself >unwrap 25 in. machete and run to the backyard >daughter is blindfolded, holding bat, so I gently shove her out the way so she won't get hit >go ballistic on that paper mache horse >snickers and skittles fly everywhere >triumphantly spike my 25 in. machete into the ground then look around >daughter is crying, none of the parents or children move, ex pulls out her phone >ohshit.jpeg >manage to jump the fence while everyone is still trying to process what happened (didn't have time to take 25 in. machete with me) >drive off I've stopped to gather my thoughts at this IHOP where I'm typing this on my mini mac. May have to leave the state or even the country.

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Slytherins can't catch a break | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 540 KB JPG 01/11/23(Wed)07:21:55 >ONE POINT TO SLYTHERIN FOR EVERY JEW KILLED IN THE HOLOCAUST! >malfoy sneers >the old coot is having us on again, that's zero points... No.176341891 >THATS 144,000 POINTS, MOSTLY DUE TO TYPHUS >slytherin begins cheering >HOWEVER... >their jubilation dies almost instantly and you hear quiet weeping from the back of the hall >IT IS ONLY FAIR WE RECOGNISE BOTH SIDES OF THE DEBATE... >AND SO I AWARD ONE POINT TO GRYIFFINDOR FOR EVERY CHRISTIAN KILLED BY JEWISH BOLSHEVIKS >murmuring across the hall as nobody knows how many that was >20 MILLION POINTS! YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY! 20 MILLION F------ WHITE CHRISTIANS KILLED! AND THEY DIDNT TEACH ANY OF YOU DID THEY? DID THEY???? >statues come to life and start stomping into the hall >slytherins resign themselves to another month in the dungeon >they walk past >they hoist filius fitwick into the air >LETS EVEN THOSE NUMBERS SHALL WE CHILDREN? DIE YOU DYSGENIC M----- K---! >nobody dares mention how fitwick isn't even jewish as the golems tear his arms and legs off and he screams in agony >144001 POINTS TO SLYTHERIN! OOOOO YOU CAN STILL WIN THE CUP YET BOYS AND GIRLS! >everyone cheers : Anonymous Wrong board sorry, should be tv 01/11/23(Wed)07:22:19 No.176341897

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Anon is hunting an elusive beast. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)06:34:58 No.149397381 1608637375063.jpg 53 KB JPG >These tracks... The imprint of women's shoes, but the stride length is that of a man. I'm getting close... >>149397605 # >>149398174 # >>149398183 # >>149398796 # >>149398881 # >>149402693 # >>149403324 # >>149403415 # >>149403429 # >>149403474 # >>149404378 # >>149405995 # >>149408400 # >>149409094 # >>149410452 # >>149410494 # >>149410569 # >>149411395 # >>149412943 #

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Anons discuss trans in Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)18:34:42 No.624235495 Gryffindor girls' staircase "Are you a wizard or not?" The title of this article is conjectural. Although it is based on canonical information, the actual name is a conjecture and may be supplanted at any time by additional information released from canonical sources. If this occurs. please move this page to the appropriate title. "I wonder if Hermione's seen this yet?" Harry said, looking around at the door to the girls' dormitories. "Let's go and tell her, said Ron. He bounded forward, pulled open the door, and set off up the spiral staircase. He was on the sixth stair when happened. There was a loud, wailing, klaxonlike sound and the steps melted together to make a long, smooth stone slide. There was a brief moment when Ron tried to keep running, arms working madly like windmills, then he toppled over backward and shot down the newly created slide, coming to rest on his back at Harry's feet. "Er- I don't think we're allowed in the girls' dormitories." said Harry"[...]" - Harry and Ron attempting to ascend the staircase to the girls' dorms in Gryffindor house A w The staircase to the Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory was accessible from the Gryffindor Common Room. It was enchanted by Godric Gryffindor to turn into a slide should any boy attempt to enter it. Made Usage : Anonymous >>624235687 # The stairs catch on fire. VIEW SOURCE Gryffindor girls' staircase Object information Owners 1661969546834.png 415 KB PNG sisters... it wasn't supposed to be like this. ⠀ c. 993 Prevents boys enter- ing the Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry [Source] : Anonymous >>624235495 (OP) # So... what happens if a transgender or non-binary person attempts to get into the girls' dormitory? 01/13/23(Fri)18:36:46 No.624235687 >>624235859 # >>624235983 # >>624237194 # >>624240025 # >>624240257 # >>624240345 # >>624240487 # >>624241902 # >>624242865 # >>624242957 # >>624243804 # >>624248909 # 01/13/23(Fri)18:38:49 No.624235859

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Anon doesn't like WRPGs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 181 KB PNG 01/11/23(Wed) 23:03:17 No.2916395 WRPG dialogue be like: >Safe travels, Englishman. >Welcome to the finest inn in Scotland, Icelander! How may I help ya? >You are in no place to tell me how to manage my wealth, Greek. >My people used to own your kind, African American. >Iraq may seem like a place of war and poverty to you now, Westerner, but it wasn't always like that. >May Jesus Christ have mercy on your soul, Asian. >Our city used to be the centre of a mighty empire, spanning across the entire continent. But that changed once the Dark Ages arrived. Anyways might you be interested in my wares, Tourist? >Your kind is not welcome around these parts, Melanated One. >Our people have been chosen by God Himself. It is our destiny to rule over all the other races, Gentile. >I've got no bussiness to do with you, Arab. >Our advanced train system should allow you to move quickly all around the country, Gaijin. >You should consider joining the military, Young One. There are many benefits and opportunities waiting for you. >I don't know about your people, European, but here in the United States of America we value freedom. >Prophet bless you, Christian. >What in the Inferno happened here?

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anon stole a washing machine from ukraine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)10:12:45 No.53533813 >>53533746 >>53533706 (OP) >WWIII finally goes hot >you're a Russian tank commander >"trannies at twelve" >rotate turret >chip is from spin control on a washer >turret spins uncontrollably for 20 minutes >stops >does that jerky thing >goes the other direction

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Anon finds happiness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.98 MB GIF 01/14/23(Sat)20:35:33 No.71823781 >be me >go to the store to buy things with the gift card i got for christmas >wandering around the store after getting what i need >seeing if there's anything else i might want >so many pretty ladies walking around the store >they dont even look at me >feel kind of sad >decide to just pay for my stuff and leave >as im turning a corner, a cart starts coming around the other side >dont notice fast enough >bump into it >its an employee (who happens to be a female girl) >time stops for a second >she says "oh my god! i'm so sorry! i didn't see you there!" >as she's saying that, she's making eye contact with me and touches me on my arm/chest area (like, her fingers touched my bicep part of the arm, then her palm was on my chest) >feel huge lump in my stomach >don't know what to do >look away from her >say "it's cool lol" >awkward silence for a bit >i say "oh well, uh, i, uh, should probably go pay for this stuff" >scurry away why why why? that huge lump in my stomach turned into being happy and such as soon as i left the store, but i felt sick from anxiety during all of that. she was really cute too, like i've literally had wet dreams about girls who look like her (yes, i nofap and have wet dreams. jealous?)

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Anon hates fruit tribe | /r/Greentext

07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 : Anonymous >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now

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Greentext Stories - Harry Potter and FemBoy Prince | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 10/17/21(Sun)13:29:01 No.865123914 a72b9062e0d32ffb434605d7252773c1.jpg 1024 KB JPG *dumbledore walks up the stage* *everyone clapping and cheering* >dumbledore: welcome welcome to... *people clap* >dumbledore: i admire your enthusiasm but please try to hold it just for a minute >welcome to... HOGWARTS HOTTEST TWINK COMPETITION!!! *people go crazy clapping and cheering* >as you all know this is the final round, dumbledore said >please welcome the final contestants: >haaaarrrry pooootttteeeerrrr AND draaaaccoooo maaalfoooy *people cheer* *harry and draco shows up dressed in the normal hogwarts uniform* >hope you didn't wear your best thigh highs just to lose potter? >i did malfoy, the pink one but not to lose *malfoy getting visibly nervous* >dumbledore: okey boys, show us what you got *complete silence* *harry and malfoy take a deep breath and rip off their uniform revealing fat asses and thigh highs* >you chose the the black thigh high huh malfoy? >i play to win potter *the crowd goes nuts* >dumbledore: let's begin, START THE MUSIC!!! *ok boomer start playing* *harry and malfoy start doing the ok boomer dance and taking every chance to show ass* *3 hours later* >dumbledore holding the mike: THEY ARE STILL DANCING FOR 3 HOURS!!! >but it's time to decide who won >is it... harry? *the crowd claps hard* >or is it... malfoy? FIN *the crowd goes NUTS* >malfoy: you know why you lost potter? >*tearing* why is that malfoy? >because people like the "i'm disappointing my father" energy, and you are fatherless potter FATHERLESS *potter crying like a lil bitch*

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