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: Anonymous I f----- up real bad 01/13/23(Fri)02:56:53 No.71798696 >typing this from inside an IHOP rn >share joint custody of my daughter with my ex >both think I'm a loser because all I do is talk about Japanese weaponry on 4chan and play MK 760 KB JPG >daughter's birthday comes around (at ex's house), so I decide to show them how cool I am >wrap my 25 in. machete up in gift wrap and it to the party >ex: "wow, you remembered to bring a gift" >shutupbitch.gif >time to break open pinata comes around and I excuse myself >unwrap 25 in. machete and run to the backyard >daughter is blindfolded, holding bat, so I gently shove her out the way so she won't get hit >go ballistic on that paper mache horse >snickers and skittles fly everywhere >triumphantly spike my 25 in. machete into the ground then look around >daughter is crying, none of the parents or children move, ex pulls out her phone >ohshit.jpeg >manage to jump the fence while everyone is still trying to process what happened (didn't have time to take 25 in. machete with me) >drive off I've stopped to gather my thoughts at this IHOP where I'm typing this on my mini mac. May have to leave the state or even the country.

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Slytherins can't catch a break | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 540 KB JPG 01/11/23(Wed)07:21:55 >ONE POINT TO SLYTHERIN FOR EVERY JEW KILLED IN THE HOLOCAUST! >malfoy sneers >the old coot is having us on again, that's zero points... No.176341891 >THATS 144,000 POINTS, MOSTLY DUE TO TYPHUS >slytherin begins cheering >HOWEVER... >their jubilation dies almost instantly and you hear quiet weeping from the back of the hall >IT IS ONLY FAIR WE RECOGNISE BOTH SIDES OF THE DEBATE... >AND SO I AWARD ONE POINT TO GRYIFFINDOR FOR EVERY CHRISTIAN KILLED BY JEWISH BOLSHEVIKS >murmuring across the hall as nobody knows how many that was >20 MILLION POINTS! YOU HEARD ME CORRECTLY! 20 MILLION F------ WHITE CHRISTIANS KILLED! AND THEY DIDNT TEACH ANY OF YOU DID THEY? DID THEY???? >statues come to life and start stomping into the hall >slytherins resign themselves to another month in the dungeon >they walk past >they hoist filius fitwick into the air >LETS EVEN THOSE NUMBERS SHALL WE CHILDREN? DIE YOU DYSGENIC M----- K---! >nobody dares mention how fitwick isn't even jewish as the golems tear his arms and legs off and he screams in agony >144001 POINTS TO SLYTHERIN! OOOOO YOU CAN STILL WIN THE CUP YET BOYS AND GIRLS! >everyone cheers : Anonymous Wrong board sorry, should be tv 01/11/23(Wed)07:22:19 No.176341897

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Anon is hunting an elusive beast. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)06:34:58 No.149397381 1608637375063.jpg 53 KB JPG >These tracks... The imprint of women's shoes, but the stride length is that of a man. I'm getting close... >>149397605 # >>149398174 # >>149398183 # >>149398796 # >>149398881 # >>149402693 # >>149403324 # >>149403415 # >>149403429 # >>149403474 # >>149404378 # >>149405995 # >>149408400 # >>149409094 # >>149410452 # >>149410494 # >>149410569 # >>149411395 # >>149412943 #

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Anons discuss trans in Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)18:34:42 No.624235495 Gryffindor girls' staircase "Are you a wizard or not?" The title of this article is conjectural. Although it is based on canonical information, the actual name is a conjecture and may be supplanted at any time by additional information released from canonical sources. If this occurs. please move this page to the appropriate title. "I wonder if Hermione's seen this yet?" Harry said, looking around at the door to the girls' dormitories. "Let's go and tell her, said Ron. He bounded forward, pulled open the door, and set off up the spiral staircase. He was on the sixth stair when happened. There was a loud, wailing, klaxonlike sound and the steps melted together to make a long, smooth stone slide. There was a brief moment when Ron tried to keep running, arms working madly like windmills, then he toppled over backward and shot down the newly created slide, coming to rest on his back at Harry's feet. "Er- I don't think we're allowed in the girls' dormitories." said Harry"[...]" - Harry and Ron attempting to ascend the staircase to the girls' dorms in Gryffindor house A w The staircase to the Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory was accessible from the Gryffindor Common Room. It was enchanted by Godric Gryffindor to turn into a slide should any boy attempt to enter it. Made Usage : Anonymous >>624235687 # The stairs catch on fire. VIEW SOURCE Gryffindor girls' staircase Object information Owners 1661969546834.png 415 KB PNG sisters... it wasn't supposed to be like this. ⠀ c. 993 Prevents boys enter- ing the Gryffindor Girls' Dormitory Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry [Source] : Anonymous >>624235495 (OP) # So... what happens if a transgender or non-binary person attempts to get into the girls' dormitory? 01/13/23(Fri)18:36:46 No.624235687 >>624235859 # >>624235983 # >>624237194 # >>624240025 # >>624240257 # >>624240345 # >>624240487 # >>624241902 # >>624242865 # >>624242957 # >>624243804 # >>624248909 # 01/13/23(Fri)18:38:49 No.624235859

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Anon doesn't like WRPGs | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 181 KB PNG 01/11/23(Wed) 23:03:17 No.2916395 WRPG dialogue be like: >Safe travels, Englishman. >Welcome to the finest inn in Scotland, Icelander! How may I help ya? >You are in no place to tell me how to manage my wealth, Greek. >My people used to own your kind, African American. >Iraq may seem like a place of war and poverty to you now, Westerner, but it wasn't always like that. >May Jesus Christ have mercy on your soul, Asian. >Our city used to be the centre of a mighty empire, spanning across the entire continent. But that changed once the Dark Ages arrived. Anyways might you be interested in my wares, Tourist? >Your kind is not welcome around these parts, Melanated One. >Our people have been chosen by God Himself. It is our destiny to rule over all the other races, Gentile. >I've got no bussiness to do with you, Arab. >Our advanced train system should allow you to move quickly all around the country, Gaijin. >You should consider joining the military, Young One. There are many benefits and opportunities waiting for you. >I don't know about your people, European, but here in the United States of America we value freedom. >Prophet bless you, Christian. >What in the Inferno happened here?

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anon stole a washing machine from ukraine | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)10:12:45 No.53533813 >>53533746 >>53533706 (OP) >WWIII finally goes hot >you're a Russian tank commander >"trannies at twelve" >rotate turret >chip is from spin control on a washer >turret spins uncontrollably for 20 minutes >stops >does that jerky thing >goes the other direction

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Anon finds happiness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.98 MB GIF 01/14/23(Sat)20:35:33 No.71823781 >be me >go to the store to buy things with the gift card i got for christmas >wandering around the store after getting what i need >seeing if there's anything else i might want >so many pretty ladies walking around the store >they dont even look at me >feel kind of sad >decide to just pay for my stuff and leave >as im turning a corner, a cart starts coming around the other side >dont notice fast enough >bump into it >its an employee (who happens to be a female girl) >time stops for a second >she says "oh my god! i'm so sorry! i didn't see you there!" >as she's saying that, she's making eye contact with me and touches me on my arm/chest area (like, her fingers touched my bicep part of the arm, then her palm was on my chest) >feel huge lump in my stomach >don't know what to do >look away from her >say "it's cool lol" >awkward silence for a bit >i say "oh well, uh, i, uh, should probably go pay for this stuff" >scurry away why why why? that huge lump in my stomach turned into being happy and such as soon as i left the store, but i felt sick from anxiety during all of that. she was really cute too, like i've literally had wet dreams about girls who look like her (yes, i nofap and have wet dreams. jealous?)

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Anon hates fruit tribe | /r/Greentext

07/06/18(Fri)06:52:53 No.46719974 : Anonymous >>46719859 # >fruit tribe laughs at meat tribe >says meat tribe breath stop early >ice age come >no fruit left >guess who laugh now

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Anon confronts /tv/ | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 179244609 705.5 kB JPG 7 REPLIES 2 REPLIES 1 hr ago Why don't /tv/posters make their own films? 1 IMAGE Anonymous | 179244845 all of those things dont require socializing >/v/ make their own games >/mu/ make their own music >/lit/ write their own books >/co/ draw their own comic books >/biz/ create their own shitcoins >/lgbt/ kill themselves But we just talk about kino instead of creating it. ●●● REPLY 1 hr ago

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Anon is Captain America | /r/Greentext

A Anonymous 01/14/23(Sat)12:21:12 No.71822094 >typing this form inside a McDick's rn >share joint custody of my daughter with my ex >both think I'm a nazi because I'm a channer4life >never had a nazi thought in my life >actually own Captain America costume and all the comics where he beats Red Skull >reading my fav issue #289 when I come up with a plan >tell crack fiend who freqs my n-hood that I will fix him up if he dresses up in my Red Skull costume and shows up to ex's house >then I will swoop in in my CA costume and pretend to pulverize him >we both take our clothes off then put on the costumes, then drive to ex's house >ex and daughter are in the backyard >crack fiend jumps over the fence, starts yelling stuff like "Hitler was right" >senpai starts screaming, then I jump in >for some reason, I slipped and fell in the pool >I'm usually very good at swimming and I know how to swim, but for some reason I just started drowning >crack fiend jumps in the pool and pulls me out >does CPR, mouth to mouth >as soon as he resuscitates me, I jump up and beat the s--- out of him >I stomp his ass in the ground, blood everywhere >unmask myself, smile triumphantly >ex and daughter both horrified >ex curses me out (in front of daughter), threatens to call the cops if I don't "leave with my nazi friend" I've told crack fiend that I lied when I said that I could fix him up, so I bought McDick's instead. Typing this on my mini mac. You can't win 'em all.

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Anon doesn't like his voice | /r/Greentext

File. Sponge1.png (441 KB, 459x612) New Stone Bo SPANTS Testogel 52449 P ☐ >be me, cis gay guy Anonymous 01/13/23(Fri)09:08:01 No.29165080 >talking to internet friend on discord while we both cook dinner >his roommates overhear us and ask if he's talking to a girl >he says no and tells them I'm a guy >they don't believe him >say I sound like a girl >turn on webcam >they say I look like a girl too >friend insists I'm a guy >they accuse me of being "assigned female at birth" >message my actual ftm friend about it and he says "woman moment" ok this isn't funny anymore how do I get on T if I'm cis

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Anon comes to a realization | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous RIP me i guess 103 KB JPG 01/14/23(Sat)22:21:17 No.892644728 decomposition >pic related >be me >struggling with severe depression and lethargy >gotten much worse the past few months >gone on leave from work cuz i just can't do it anymore >spend some time at mom's to try and get better >first few days are good >maybe starting to feel better >hesitant smile.jpg >decide to take a shower for the first time in 2 weeks >see myself in the mirror >first time I've had a good look in 2 weeks too >holy fucknuggets >massive bags under my eyes, eyes also swollen and puffy >look like a beached whale halfway through >shame.jpg >get an idea >mom always knows how to make me feel better >"hey mom check out these huge bags under my eyes, it's really hitting me hard i guess" >"what do you mean anon, you've looked like that for years" >mfw

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Anon wants a friend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 71 KB JPG 01/14/23(Sat) 19:24:54 No.71822879 >can talk about anything with most people >know when to shut up and not be weird >know how to make nice even when i disagree >until i get to know and like someone >then i can't talk to them at all >just shut up completely because i'm scared of seeming weird >they inevitably get bored and drop me

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Greentext Stories - Anon creates a core memory for his daughter | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous I f----- up real bad 01/13/23(Fri)02:56:53 No.71798696 >typing this from inside an IHOP rn >share joint custody of my daughter with my ex >both think I'm a loser because all I do is talk about Japanese weaponry on 4chan and play MK 760 KB JPG >daughter's birthday comes around (at ex's house), so I decide to show them how cool I am >wrap my 25 in. machete up in gift wrap and it to the party >ex: "wow, you remembered to bring a gift" >shutupbitch.gif >time to break open pinata comes around and I excuse myself >unwrap 25 in. machete and run to the backyard >daughter is blindfolded, holding bat, so I gently shove her out the way so she won't get hit >go ballistic on that paper mache horse >snickers and skittles fly everywhere >triumphantly spike my 25 in. machete into the ground then look around >daughter is crying, none of the parents or children move, ex pulls out her phone >ohshit.jpeg >manage to jump the fence while everyone is still trying to process what happened (didn't have time to take 25 in. machete with me) >drive off I've stopped to gather my thoughts at this IHOP where I'm typing this on my mini mac. May have to leave the state or even the country.

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