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Political Compass - Useless and overused marketing terms that make me not want to buy the product 6x5 wojak compass | /r/PoliticalCompassMemes

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"WE'RE A FAMILY" "WHILE SUPPLIES LAST" Creates the veneer that the company likes each other and that you're a part of the family tOoOoO Used often during COVID TOGETHER" Also used often during COVID but there was one at the Super Bowl last night "If someone claims to be a good person, they are most assuredly not a good person." - Seneca "WE'RE IN THIS VEGAN "COMMUNITY- FOCUSED" Pretend that their business is a vital part of the surrounding community.... Although the company headquarters are six states away. Curious. Millionaires preaching from their mansions that they're "just like you!" "IDENTITY-AFFIRMING" You know damn well what I'm referring to with this one RESIST Try to distract from the existence of the massive wealth disparity BAYAR YERBA MATE ignores the brutality of what's happening here "ORGANIC" My least-favorite word in all marketing "Organic" literally means it's made from natural ingredients. Regular eggs are just as organic as "organic eggs," but you can jack up the price on one of those It takes an objectively gruesome action and repackages it in a nice term that "DIVERSE VOICES" Often used by companies that want to pretend like they care about minorities and representation But to them, representation means a few frizzy-haired light- skin black girls and painting "end racism" in the end zone at the Super Bowl Creates a false sense of shortage to encourage urgency Most always a bold-faced lie that leads to some sort of scam "NO HIDDEN FEES" Usually used by banks and financial services Wants to portray its business as transparent, non-greedy, and community-focused In reality there are definitely hidden fees behind the little asterisk "MADE FROM SCRATCH" Pretend the product was made with care by the company and company alone It's pedantic but "made from scratch" technically means "made from the rawest ingredients," not "made from a loaf of you bought sliced bread at ALDI" "SERVICE-FOCUSED" Creates a veneer of the company giving back to the community in some way Oftentimes paired with stock footage of people handing out canned goods "FRESHEST INGREDIENTS" Every f------ restaurant claims to have the freshest ingredients, w-- "EXPERTS SAY" Utilizes a sense of authority to give product more credibility Most often doesn't say who the experts are I'm convinced that this one is aimed at the Weight Watchers and GMO hysteria crowd Usually they're paid shills anyway "LOCALLY-SOURCED" Like "Made in the USA," but for city- dwelling liberals "GOOD FOR YOUR WALLET" "HAND-PRESSED" A fancy way of saying "inexpensive" It amazes me how often companies use "YOUR wAlLet Will thank you!", hiding what they really mean Want to lead people into thinking that the product comes from their community when in reality it usually 99% comes from far away and one particular element is local "IN THESE UNPRECEDENTED TIMES" Also also used during COVID a lot, but also used during any manufactured crisis VANS Creates a false sense of hardship and insinuates the company is adaptable to changing times A euphemism for "we touched the burger patty before we served it to But awww, it sounds you" like so much more care went into the food!! In those unbearable trendy restaurants where a dry burger costs $18 "ARTISAN" Implies a premium nature to the product, says it's an art piece rather than mass- produced crap It fools the buyer into thinking that it's a much higher quality product than it is "CRAFTED" Like "artisan," this is an empty word built to imply a product is cooler than it is In reality, it just turns off anyone who really knows what's going on "FOLKS" Originally a term almost exclusively used among older Americans, mostly in the South But it creates a sense of exclusivity, predominately in terms of identity, and so it's used in ads Also it sOuNdS cUtE Adds a quick and easy sense of credibility to the product Oftentimes an award made up by the company and awarded to itself "AWARD-WINNING" "PROTECTING YOU" Creates a false and unrealistic sense of threat to draw customers in, mostly naive old people who don't understand how the product works If I hear "J.D. Power" one more time I'm going to punch my television "GRANDMA'S" "Most customers love their grandmas so let's pretend our product comes from a grandma!" Used in conjunction with "Aunt " or "Uncle ___"products By portraying a homely older person on their label, they're cultivating familiar trust "PREMIUM" Implies to the buyer that it's a higher-quality product than any other they could've bought But in order to call something "premium" you need something to compare it to, and most companies simply don't "RISK-FREE" Implies that there is absolutely no risk in using the product as a way to draw in the buyer SIKE! Read the fine print, sucka "AMERICAN-MADE" Most often 95% made abroad, and a final component was added in the US so they could slap on the "Made in USA" label "MONEY-BACK GUARANTEE" The whole, "if you don't like the product you can return it" schtick Usually involves restrictive conditions plus relies on the fact that people will be guilted into not returning stuff Tries to reel-in the neocon economic protectionist types The only way to ensure something was actually made in the USA is to buy a product made by a known person who lives in the US Usually used in ads for cable companies and VPNs "BUTTERMILK" Sounds like a folksy, traditional term, and refers to a real product that hasn't really been around for almost a century But that won't stop fast food companies from blatantly lying about it being in their products because it sounds good! McDonald's and KFC are the biggest offenders "BOOST YOUR PERFROMANCE" Almost always marketed toward insecure boomer men Used in products such as cars and ED medication Make men feel like they're inferior and need something to fill a hole in their life "APPLEWOOD-SMOKED" Like "buttermilk," it's a product that's actually fairly rare but fast food companies pretend every piece of meat that touches their grill is "aPpLeWoOd SmOkEd" Implies that there's money in whatever's going on It's just a marketing word that sounds moderately good so I guess it's everything now "GOLDEN" Insinuates that the buyer will get rich from using this product Those are yellow potatoes, they're not "golden" in any way

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