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Anonymous 10/20/21 (Wed)13:29:00 No.865274492 >be me >decide to go on r/greentext because /r9k/ and /b/ have an unusually high amount of trannies than usual >notice the pinned post is from a subreddit mod bragging about how his sub is going to pass r/4chan >mfw its massively downvoted because nobody f------ cares 53 KB JPG >eventually refresh page >the post is suddenly 200 upvotes in the positives despite it having a 35/65 upvote/downvote ratio minutes ago >mfw this f------ reddit mod unironically bought upvote bots for his pinned post to make him feel better Why are reddit mods so f------ retarded?

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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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x-post from /r/4chan, Greentext collection. 150 greentext stories. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/07/11 (Wed)16:28 No.5220706 Reposting my all time favorite greentext. >playing soccer in gym >ball is up in the air >think I'm gonna be awesome and air kick it into the goal >try >miss ball >kick goalie in the face >try to ask "Are you okay?" and "I'm f------ sorry." at the same time >instead end up yelling "ARE YOU F------ SORRY!?" >goalie is choking back tears

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anon discovers a life hack | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous life hack 177 KB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)11:28:58 No.72455677 >be me >live in a city where it seems like it has been nuked >city looks like it time travelled to 60s >literally nowhere to go/explore and wander >most people, if not all people, are mentally f------ retarded, uneducated, uncivilized, some people even behave like feral ghouls (literally) >every time i go outside i get an urge to beat the f--- out of someone, since they all keep looking at me like i'm a f------ vault dweller >be me again >love fallout 3 >decide to download GNR playlist >everytime i go out i listen to the playlist >mfw it feels like i'm in fallout 3 >mfw i don't hate going out anymore >mfw i love going out with my GNR playlist >mfw s--- feels good so anons, what are your life hacks?

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Anon messes up | /r/Greentext

32 KB JPG I f----- up /b/ >Be me >Only slept 3 hours >Have to go gym in the morning >Decide to drink 3 cups of coffee so I won't feel like s--- >Drink them >Proceed to have a pb&j sandwich and a banana with it >Get to the gym >Start warming up, head to the bench press >Oh_shit_it's_kicking_in.zip >As soon as I lift up the bar, the force of 3000 Alabaman crackheads is bestowed upon me >Peak performance >5 minutes later I feel the rumbling >Oh f--- it's and earthquake >Wrong, it's my bowels >The doors of Sparta are being attacked >I let out the most vile, offensive and disgraceful smelling fart right in the middle of the free weight section >Wrong again, it's diarrhea >Take the walk of shame to the bathroom while my legs slowly start looking more and more like a Somalian child while leaving a chocolate trail behind me >Bluetooth earbuds die, Barbie girl hardstyle remix starts playing at full volume from my phone >Reach the bathroom >Enter toilet >Unleash a laminar flow jet of choccy milk unto the porcelain bowl >Realize there's no toilet paper

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Anon gets drunk at a party | /r/Greentext

03/05/23(Sun)02:48:09 No.181357152 ► >>181357180 >>181357212 >>181357275 >>181357343 >>181357499 >>181357559 >>181357630 >>181357657 >>181357672 >>181357744 >>181357802 >>181357822 >>181357831 Yesterday I went to a party at a friend's house and ended up embarrassing myself... Is there a movie where the protagonist is embarrassed in front of others so I can watch it and feel less bad? >I arrive at the party and see that there are a lot of people, a lot of drinks and food >I eat a sandwich, some pizza and two tacos >I'm an alcoholic so I'm going straight to the vodka >After a while I start to loosen up and realize I'm pretty drunk >I see a pretty girl and decide to try something on her >To impress her I show it how high I can jump > I lose my balance and fall onto a glass table where drinks and food were >Break the table, several bottles, food falls on the floor and a piece of glass hits the girl's leg (she was wearing a dress) and cuts her >She screams loudly and curses at me, some people laugh and others give me dirty looks >My friend gets mad and tells me to leave the party >Another friend who was leaving offers me a ride >I get sick in the car and throw up >He gets angry and curses at me I woke up today with a horrible hangover and a bunch of messages on my phone that I don't want to see it. Feels bad man...

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Anon gets help online | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10 KB PNG 03/05/23(Sun)12:35:37 No.895388649 >be me >browsing 4chan on a lazy Sunday afternoon >see a post about how to fix a clogged toilet FML >remember that my toilet has been clogged for a few days now >decide to try the suggested method >grab a plunger and go to work after a few minutes of vigorous plunging, the toilet overflows >panic and try to stop the water with a towel >slip and fall on the wet floor, getting covered in toilet water

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Anon feels misled about chads | /r/Greentext

File: 29A858A7-4E3E-48BE-9C19-4(...).png (420 KB, 912x1024) Anonymous (ID: VbhD16NT 03/04/23 (Sat) 15:59:33 No.418507467 >>418508657 >>418508920 >>418509568 >>418509806 >>418511520 >>418512102 >>418513222 >>418513518 >>418513828 >>418513845 >>418513886 >>418513954 >>418514474 >be me, oldfag living pretty standard wagie existence, paying my bills >grow up reading about the Chad vs Beta dichotomy on boards like this one >one day meet a real life Chad at work, beard, muscles, 6'8" at least, sounds like moistcritical >he's a coworker and we eventually start talking casually >he constantly brags about his illegal activities >whatever.png >he eventually talks me into taking a bump >it's f------ amazing and want more >start doing drugs and committing petty crimes together >one day he flirts with the female clerk at the store while I shoplift and we get away with it >one day, Chad gets caught in the act, rats me out to save his own skin >feel utterly betrayed by someone I thought was a friend >next thing I know I'm in a cell, serving time for my poor life decisions >would have gotten away with them if it wasn't for meddling Chad >realize that listening to an idiot like Chad just because of his demeanor and appearance as prestigious was the worst mistake I have ever made in my life >realize that the circlejerks you idiots here push only stem from your own cismanlet insecurities >your masculinity is so fragile from years of p--- that you actually think these "alpha" archetypes have it figured out, in reality they're just as retarded as anyone else but won the generic lotto >their advantage relies entirely on what society deems important, restructure it and they're just clown apes that die early Why did you bastards lie to me? Chads aren't wholesome, competent or even in the driver seat of their own life. Sure, I could have spent less time on 4chan, but you losers could have spent less time deifyng meatheads.

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Anon has a skill issue | /r/Greentext

: blackpilled doomer ngmi Please be patient Scrv.xyz I have autism =3 19 KB PNG 1 Reply 03/05/23(Sun)08:58:16 No.72454747 ngmi >going nowhere >no longer have a gf >doubting my academic abilities >diagnosed schizophrenic >cant maintain a relationship is it over for me bros View Thread : Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)09:56:01 No.72455111 See if you can apply for disability, It will make academics easier. I hope that you realize your potential anon. Good luck

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This is exaggeration but I already lost hope after seeing new_Luis without his OG lines | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12 hours ago 1677895069959636.webm (2.5 MB, 854x480) 629725969 >>629719315 (OP) >no Ashley saying, "Ugh, you pervert!" >no Ashley saying, "Hey! What are you looking at?" >no animation of Ashley covering her skirt when you try to look up it and see her panties >no being able to freely stare at Ashley's panties from the bottom of a high enough ladder >no getting an accidental Ashley upskirt dialogue when performing a suplex on an enemy >no quick half a second slip of Ashley's panties during the cutscene where she and Leon leap through the church window to escape from the crossbow Illuminados >no easy distance panty shot of Ashley when she's cowering in fear in the presence of enemies, allowing for a clean angle of her white panties >no aiming a knife or grenade towards the sky in certain areas to lower the camera at a low angle to catch a glimpse of Ashley's panties >no quick glimpse of Ashley's panties during the cutscene when she is pushed by the Island Ganado when she's in captivity on the island >no shot of Ashley's panties as she crawls underneath the table during the section in the castle where she's playable For all the things this game is doing right, it censored, possibly even downright removed, the thing people wanted most. It murders an aspect of her character, rendering it essentially non-canon. Why is censorship so prevalent in gaming nowadays? I'm surprised they're even keeping in the gore given the extent that they're willing to go to censor something that the vast majority of players will never even see. This is dishonest, and suggests a lack of soul and attention to detail on the developer's part. No panties, no buy. Simple as.

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Never meet your heroes | /r/Greentext

430.6 kB PNG >be me, oldfag living pretty standard wagie existence, paying my bills >grow up reading about the Chad vs Beta dichotomy on boards like this one >one day meet a real life Chad at work, beard, muscles, 6'8" at least, sounds like moistcritical >he's a coworker and we eventually start talking casually >he constantly brags about his illegal activities >whatever.png >he eventually talks me into taking a bump >it's f------ amazing and want more >start doing drugs and committing petty crimes together >one day he flirts with the female clerk at the store while I shoplift and we get away with it >one day, Chad gets caught in the act, rats me out to save his own skin >feel utterly betrayed by someone I thought was a friend >next thing I know I'm in a cell, serving time for my poor life decisions >would have gotten away with them if it wasn't for meddling Chad >realize that listening to an idiot like Chad just because of his demeanor and appearance as prestigious was the worst mistake I have ever made in my life >realize that the circlejerks you idiots here push only stem from your own cismanlet insecurities >your masculinity is so fragile from years of p--- that you actually think these "alpha" archetypes have it figured out, in reality they're just as retarded as anyone else but won the generic lotto >their advantage relies entirely on what society deems important, restructure it and they're just clown apes that die early Why did you bastards lie to me? Chads aren't wholesome, competent or even in the driver seat of their own life. Sure, I could have spent less time on 4chan, but you losers could have spent less time deifyng meatheads.

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Anon wishes he was never born | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)01:55:01 No.895380795 Wanna die 21 Wanna die >Have physical health issues so I'm in pain all the time (fibromyalgia, LPR, TMJ, cholinergic urticaria, + chronic bad thigh chafing). >Have mental health issues from p---/internet addiction + awful emotional health besides. 7 KB GIF >Am 6k in credit card debt, have to make $200 monthly payments. >Barely make any money doing s----- tasks on upwork. Do some food delivers on foot on uber eats on footdowntown. In and out of homelessness for years. Was sleeping in a tent all winter. >Relatively sure I'm going to end up dying cold, wet and hungry in some patch of woods. >Bad memories of some s--- that happened replaying over and over in my head every day. >life f------ sucks, I wish I was never born

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Anon gets beat up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: xSh/+JOL 03/04/23(Sat)18:20:53 No.418503709 File: BC437E36-7063-4B9A-BD54-8(...).jpg (139 KB, 1280x708) FALMEN 16 HOUR NAPS ARE NECESSARY >>418490598 (OP). >Be me fooling around with my girlfriend drunk as hell at 3am >Make fun of her for being weak when she says she could beat me up >Tell her she should hit me to see if it would hurt and she does >I keep making fun of her telling her how weak she is. She can't beat me up even when I'm letting her hit me >She gets genuinely mad and starts laying into me hard while I'm laughing my ass off >Next morning wake up realize my face is covered in bruises, blood and a popped lip >Gf apologises saying I asked her to do it. >Mom visited the next morning and I couldn't explain what had happened so she unironically believes my gf beat me up >Girlfriend becomes my wife >Whenever we get drunk she always tells me "you know I could beat you up right" >Mfw I can't even be mad

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Anon is fucking gay | /r/Greentext

I don't understand homophobia Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)02:46:33 No.895342437 [Reply] ▶ >>895353851 You know what's harder than defeating an army? Defeating an army of men that fight for thier lover that stands beside them. Man's urge is to protect the thing they love. >The Romans conquered You know what's better than having a wife and family? Having a wife and family and f------ cute twinks whenever you want. >The Greeks built Weston civilization You know whats worse than being weak? Being so weak you have to make everyone as weak as you just to escape your fear >Christians called homosexuality a sin because they couldn't fight the armies or get laid with twinks You know why women are assholes? Because they think thier p---- gives them power over men. >It does if that's the only way you can have intimacy or sex with another human, have other options and suddenly they have to respect you or gtfo. Why aren't you being bisexual and conquering this world and all that is in it /b/? +44 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view. >> Anonymous 03/05/23(Sun)07:06:16 No.895353746 ► >>895353803 File: 5861A281-9723-4A5A-9B6C-6().jpg (97 KB, 1007x332) ??

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Greentext Stories - Anon goes to r/greentext | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 10/20/21 (Wed)13:29:00 No.865274492 >be me >decide to go on r/greentext because /r9k/ and /b/ have an unusually high amount of trannies than usual >notice the pinned post is from a subreddit mod bragging about how his sub is going to pass r/4chan >mfw its massively downvoted because nobody f------ cares 53 KB JPG >eventually refresh page >the post is suddenly 200 upvotes in the positives despite it having a 35/65 upvote/downvote ratio minutes ago >mfw this f------ reddit mod unironically bought upvote bots for his pinned post to make him feel better Why are reddit mods so f------ retarded?

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