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: Anonymous Post everything you love about(...) 265 KB PNG 04/18/23(Tue)23:03:59 No.73010630 >pure and wholesome (KHHV before me) >genuinely smart >a total sweetheart and super loving >actually has goals in life >hard working and competent at accomplishing her goals >long beautiful soft brown hair >cute blue eyes >warm and cuddly >very physically affectionate >very affectionate in general and wants me to be the same way (I'm happy to do so) >autistic (meme) in a cute way >knows 4chan memes >likes anime/vidya and is especially knowledgeable with vidya >parents like her too >cute voice >nice body that she wants me to massage >has cute feet that don't smell :!!MZx73aqZsYD 04/18/23(Tue)23:09:27 No.73010676 : Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)23:11:25 No.73010695 >>73010630 (OP) # >Farting louder than a lawnmower >Racist >Yelling like tyler1 at random >Eyes so googly google shutdown for copyright >Picks her nose and eat her boogers sensually >Spurting the n-word sometimes so loudly i have to kiss her to shut her up as my only recourse >Mustache >Yelling also like Left 4 dead tank zombie >Twerking a projecting s--- like an hippopotamus to assert dominance >A gay ass m----------- girl

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View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO 1765434598764.jpg, 64KB, 711x718 Anonymous Wed 23 Dec 2020 13:27:24 No.59011713 View Report happened last year, but i'll greentext it >be me, work at a big tech company >leftist ultra-woke usual corporate nonsense etc >i'm 6'2 and lifting for 2.5 years, working up to 2/3/4/5 >wear polo shirts to work bc comfy and collared/professional, downside is everyone can see my physique >i outright refuse to talk about weightlifting/fitness to my coworkers to avoid becoming a stereotype >always change the subject, or say "yeah I used to lift in the past but not anymore" >but i'm obviously very muscular, especially by normie standards >normie standards are so f-----, they think i'm mr olympia while to me i'm a work in progress >i can always feel the unspoken resentment from other ppl tho >thotty summer interns and vendor sales hoes always approach me, plenty of mires >some fat girl on a team adjacent to mine always making weird fitness jokes at my expense >not a landwhale (yet) but extremely overweight, massive feminist, white BLM activist >approaching the wall at warp speed and secretly knows it (they all do) >theres a disagreement on how to use engineering resources >"hey, i'll bet anon over there probably wants to settle the debate by arm wrestling lol" >constant weird annoying comments like that >one day i get to a meeting 5 minutes late bc i had to walk across two buildings to get there >"well well nice of you to join us there protein shake" >enough >"well I'm here now, sorry I'm late McFlurry" > room with a dozen people in it falls silent >everyone staring at me like i just murdered a child or something >literally 15 seconds of silence >fatty is in shock, doesn't say anything for the entire meeting >next day >manager requests a 10am meeting >walk into the room, its him and 2 HR people >assigned 4 weeks of sensitivity training >online courses on diversity in the workplace >mfw around fats never relax

9 Anonymous Sat 02 May 2020 23:09:33 No.24864120 Quoted By: >>24864171 >>24836558 I've had repeated contact with an "alien" visitor or entity since I was a kid. I don't know any other way to explain what I've seen, or what I remember seeing. >be me, little kid >get a drink of water >see bob the builder digging around in my garden through the window >because im just a kid this doesn't phase me somehow, I pop outside to say hi >ask him what he's building >he smiles and says he's making a sandbox for me to play in >next day my dad says he's going to start building a sandbox in the backyard for me and my brothers to play in >thankyoubob.jpg >grow up a bit, don't see bob for many years >one day adults are very worried and all in the TV room talking, I think it was when 9/11 happened >go outside because bored/scared >It's f------ Zoboomafoo from the Kratt brothers swinging on my swingset >But I can tell it's based Bob >sit on the swing next to him, ask where he's been >he points up to the moon and give me a cheeky lemur puppet smile >ask why he's here now >said he wanted to check up on me because some stuff happened >thank him for the sandbox >he laughs and swings away into our tree like a retard until I can't see him anymore >>24864120 >Long time, many years pass with no visits from based bob >begin to think it was all a dream/my imagination >parents think it's a cute story when I tell them >Finally learning to ride a bike >I'm slow at learning things and I really should have learned years ago and I'm still bad at it >Dad always telling me to check both ways before I cross a street, keep forgetting >crossing street back to my house, hear a noise out of nowhere and all of a sudden I'm on the ground >Based bob is wearing an Iron Man suit (The silver one) and has gently lowered me to the ground >my bike is completely mauled to shreds under the car >thankyoubasedbob.jpg >>24864171 Okay, time for a little bit of sad s---. I was trying to keep it light but there's some not so fun stuff in here. My parents abused me and all my siblings when we were growing up. They were pretty religious and crazy about a lot of things, it changed in what aspects over time but they definitely followed the whole "spare the rod spoil the child" mentality. I somehow ended up being the black sheep of the family because I'm kinda slow and stupid and stubborn and I daydream too much. So I got beat way, way more than any of the other kids. Anyway, back to the story. >Dad finds out about accident and destroyed bike >asks if I looked both ways >lied and say I did >he knows I didn't >not sure if he's mad about me being in danger or the bike being f-----, but he's P----- >getting the ass beating of my life >hurts so f------ much and is going on forever, I'm just screaming at this point >Begin to scream and beg for jesus to help me >All of a sudden my dad stops hitting me >cry into the bed for a few minutes before looking back >My dad is frozen in place looking terrified as f--- >It's based bob, hovering in front of him, looking like his OG builder self again >The spoon my dad was using to beat me literally disintegrates into a million pieces >dad's eyes are bulging as his wrist begins to bend backwards >Snapcracklepop.jpg >Bob looks at me >Says he's sorry for not doing something sooner >can almost see tears in his eyes >he floats through the ceiling and f---- off >dad never beats me again If you're watching out there based bob, thanks for the help. come back and visit sometime.

: Anonymous 01/18/25(Sat)02:01:30 No.70051407 ha.png 1.95 MB PNG Who is the best videogame hag?

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"Truth is anon... the game was rigged from the start." | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: uQaxRygg) 9 The sad state of urkanian men 345 KB JPG 06/02/23(Fri)10:55:41 No.429145501 Ukranian man abandons his car in the middle of the road and runs away while crying from the draft kidnappers police while two Ukrainian women mock him and laugh at him. 40 KB JPG >https://files.catbox.moe/33twkx.mp4 : Anonymous (ID: jJx0XLbY E 06/02/23(Fri)10:56:33 No.429145550 >>429145501 (OP) # >women literally laughing at him as he's hunted down by the soldiers to be sent to the front line to get blown up by artillery why are females like that, bros? >>429146051 # >>429146267 # >>429146710 # >>429146844 # >>429146910 # >>429147134 # >>429147684 # >>429147901 # >>429147987 # >>429148255 # >>429148450 # >>429148504 # >>429148929 # >>429149175 # >>429149364 # >>429149643 # >>429150200 # >>429150811 # >>429150895 # >>429151204 # >>429152063 # >>429152623 # >>429153334 # >>429153902 # >>429155484 # >>429156510 # >>429157914 #

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Anon is a Batzorig Vaanchig | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/20/21 (Mon)18:43:33 No.65458138 SongoftheSteppes.jpg 187 KB JPG >bout to get ready for work >realize that you're Batzorig Vaanchig, and you don't need to work >TENGAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZAYA TTA|||||||||||||IIDELHIYYYNNNNNHAGA SIYZDAGGULLLLLLLSEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN NNNNNNNWWOHHNNNCHOOONNNNHICHEENEGTE EESIIIIIDDDHIMOORAAASAHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHEYEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEYE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAHHHHHHHHHHHHERELHEG GGGMONNGOLLLLLCHINGGGISSAYYYYYYYYEZ YEEAAAAHHНННННННН ZEEENNBOGGDDDCHIINNNGGHIIIISSKHAAAA ANNNNNGALLLLTMESSNIIIIDUNNDDAAAAAAA SSSSSGANBOLLLLDDSHIGGGGIIIHUCCHHHHT TEEEEIIIGAZZZZZAAARRRRDELKHIDEEEGAR IDSHUVUUUUUSHIGGGHUCCHTTAAAAYYYYYEE

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Anon recites the days of the week | /r/Greentext

e: IMG_0829.jpg (167 KB, 538x475) Does anyone else keep getting social media vids and pics saying not to j-------? Surely my f----- up browser history indicates this is never going to happen. >no masterbation mondays >no tug tuesdays >no wank wednesdays >no thrash thursdays >no fap fridays >no spank saturdays >no splooge sundays Who are these freaks who want to take away the only thing im good at?

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Anon is fucked | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 101 KB JPG 06/02/23(Fri)12:29:33 No.137510286 >Be me >Not living in an English- speaking country >New spiderman releases >Won't appear online until November >Local cinemas will only play it in a s----- dub >Doesn't want to spoil the experience by watching a cam rip >MFW

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Anon is stressed | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 56 KB JPG 06/02/23(Fri)06:36:24 No.73530664 >work crush asks me a question not relevant to her job >(I think she might like me too and was trying to make conversation) >I get really hot and feel sweat drops fall off my face >sperg mumble about tcp handshake >stare into each others eyes for ten seconds >she says ok and runs off

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Anon loses his chances | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 214 KB PNG 06/02/23(Fri)08:02:16 No.73531273 >be 13 year old me >back at school for the first time in the year >hear about femoid who likes me >flip table >flip chair noway.mp3 >she also gives out head >1 period later >i sit near someone who is talking >i get moved >refuse to move because its inbetween 2 femoids (who are c----) >friend turn on me >getting yelled at by class mates >trying to be calm >also forgot meds today >continued yelling >teacher offers i move to another spot >i take it >femoids i was supposed to sit near continue to harass and "friend" also harasses >cannot take it anymore >angry.mp3 >realise what ive done >try to rearrange tables and chairs >start to cry and laugh because of the situation >try to make a funny >"lets get back to learning" >no one laughs >teacher tells me to get out of classroom >next day >femoid who was interested in me calls me a school shooter >mfw i lost all chance of having a GF because me being an autist

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Anon does war crimes | /r/Greentext

>Iraq... >Driving through some broke ass sand village. >Kids playing in the road. >Lead truck, I tell the VC >he tells me to keep driving Historically when kids stop convoys, there's always an ambush in play. They use the kids to stop the lead vehicle then the adults open up with everything they have. Kill everyone. >I shut my eyes, the road is straight. >bump... 14 KB JPG >bump bump.. >bump bump bumpy bump... >distant screaming. >bump >I've never been the same since.

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Anon probably lives in Alabama | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous My uncomfortable cousin story 06/02/23(Fri)05:51:13 No.73530371 29 KB JPG Posting here because you f------ are probably into this s--- and should judge if I'm a massive f-- or not. Also because I need to get this out of my head. >be 10 >mom is sick >dad out of the picture >calls her sister to help with stuff around the house >brings over her 9 year old daughter >we constantly fight >eventually hit her hard >mom finds out, obviously grounds me >her mom and mine tell us to reconciliate, locks us together on the room where I'm grounded >still p----- at her >she kisses me on the cheek >says she deserves a kiss for what I did to her >eventually that turns into cuddling and pecking each other on the lips and cheeks >afterwards, our moms notice we're getting along better and unground me >we spend the next few days very close to each other, hugging often and sometimes kissing >eventually aunt and cousin leave >we rarely see each other ever again >fastforward 10 years >she tried to reach out a few times >give cold responses because we've grown apart and there's nothing to talk about I can give further context if anyone wants just not anything too personal.

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Anon wants a happy ending | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/02/23(Fri)09:16:15 No.73531650 > be me > 22 years old > virgin > jacking off to pornhub doesnt do it for me anymore > I ask my friends at discord if they have any ideas > they tell me about those Thai massage places that has happy endings 174 KB PNG > why not > i google the closest massage center where I live > it has a 3.1 rating on google > cant be that bad > the next day I head over to the massage parlor > ask for a regular massage > a short hot Thai lady with big fake breast tells me to take my clothes off and wrap myself with a towel > after the massage the hot Thai lady asks if I want any other treatments > uhm.. > how about a happy ending? > the rooms goes silent > the lady puts a towel over my head and tells me to relax > I hear she walks out but after a while someone comes back in > the lady starts to touch my ass > itstime.exe > the lady tells me to turn around > the Thai lady starts sucking my peepee > I take the towel over my head away to see this beauty > its another woman and not the same hot one > I can see this bitch has a d--- > its a f------ she male > I get up and leave fast > starts crying when I get home

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Anons creed | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Easy cash bois 276 KB PNG 06/02/23(Fri)08:50:03 No.3076654 >be me > been playing a lot of assassins creed > really fascinated by the parkour > I want to do parkour s--- too > watching yt tutorials on how to land properly and other basic s--- > later that day > the moon shines down onto my neighborhood > its time > I dress up > all blacked out clothes > I bicycle to the local town center and park my bicycle next to some bushes > I scout some buildings where i can test my skills > ah the local library > I go around the building and finds a ladder > when Im on top Im scouting other buildings and obstacles > start jumping from building to building > somehow I end up on a s----- roof > its the kind where the floor is squishy and gives after > when Im about to jump to the next roof the roof collapses > I fall straight down into a s----- looking Indian restaurant > cuts my whole left leg up > pain.exe > get up and trying to relocate myself > i see the cash register > why not > open it > finds approximately 170 dollars in cash > take it > suddenly a cop car parks outside with their flashing lights > time to bolt > I get a chair and climbs up the hole I fell trough > bolts back to my bike and cycles home > bandages my self up > next day I head to GameStop with the cash I got > buy the new call of duty

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Anon forgets that lawyers cost a pretty penny | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 211 KB PNG 06/02/23(Fri)08:59:28 No.73531562 > be me > gets in a bar fight > police comes > for some reasons I get fined when I didnt start the brawl > gets fined 400$ for misbehaving or some s--- > f--- you cops > going to court with this because I was not in the wrong here > gets a mediocre lawyer > after a few days I get the bill down to 50$ > f--- yeah > the bill for the lawyer is 700$ > forgot that lawyers are expensive Am I retarted anons?

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Anon has a conversation | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous BUC 56 KB JPG 06/02/23(Fri)03:56:20 No.73529706 >be me >going on airplane >see cute girl and try to talk to her >feel extremely uncomfortable just sitting next to her >start interrogating her about her hobbies. >she's actually enjoying the conversation seems >for no reason at all I feel spaghetti slipping out >immediately retreat and awkwardly just sit on the other side of the seats >wewlad.jpg >try to talk to her a second time after >h-hey uhhhh that's cool you like are in college what are you studying? >awkward silence and more spaghetti spills out >tell her sorry and get the f--- out >mfw

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Greentext Stories - Girlfriend is better | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous Post everything you love about(...) 265 KB PNG 04/18/23(Tue)23:03:59 No.73010630 >pure and wholesome (KHHV before me) >genuinely smart >a total sweetheart and super loving >actually has goals in life >hard working and competent at accomplishing her goals >long beautiful soft brown hair >cute blue eyes >warm and cuddly >very physically affectionate >very affectionate in general and wants me to be the same way (I'm happy to do so) >autistic (meme) in a cute way >knows 4chan memes >likes anime/vidya and is especially knowledgeable with vidya >parents like her too >cute voice >nice body that she wants me to massage >has cute feet that don't smell :!!MZx73aqZsYD 04/18/23(Tue)23:09:27 No.73010676 : Anonymous 04/18/23(Tue)23:11:25 No.73010695 >>73010630 (OP) # >Farting louder than a lawnmower >Racist >Yelling like tyler1 at random >Eyes so googly google shutdown for copyright >Picks her nose and eat her boogers sensually >Spurting the n-word sometimes so loudly i have to kiss her to shut her up as my only recourse >Mustache >Yelling also like Left 4 dead tank zombie >Twerking a projecting s--- like an hippopotamus to assert dominance >A gay ass m----------- girl

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