: Anonymous 46 KB JPG 07/14/23(Fri)13:52:54 No.74025793 >be me >Be on elevator full of people >Remember that I have free will >Start screaming as loud as I can >Everybody on the elevator is horrified >Later that day Go to the Store >Remember again that I have free will >Pick up a champagne bottle and smash it on the ground >Employee saw me and asked me to leave 3 Replies / 1 Image I do stuff like this sometimes and it's been ruining my life. I don't know how to stop View Thread

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Anonymous 03/01/25(Sat)04:17:09 No.704221836 250px-Walter.jpg 10 KB JPG >Al evolving rapidly to the point it can almost impersonate people and compose entire songs >video game enemy Al has not progressed AT ALL since F.E.A.R and you could argue it has only regressed Why the f--- is this?

Anonymous >2005 07/11/22(Mon)20:52:44 No.69371086 >Go to online store webpage >Search for the item you want >Checkout >2022 23 KB PNG >Go to online store webpage >This website uses cookies. Allow cookies? >Allow >Allow this website to know your location? >Block >Allow this website to send notifications? >Block >Popup covering screen appears. Enter your email now for 10% off! >Close popup >Fake chat appears, Jill would like to assist you >Close chat >Finally get to the search bar, start entering text >Javascript wasn't finished loading, search bar gets deselected halfway through typing >Click the search bar again, finish typing, hit enter >Item you want appears, try to click it >More javascript loads before you click, the page rearranges itself, now you've clicked something else >Close webpage and toss monitor out the window

Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)18:14:33 No.184255728 Translate a joke from your country 12 KB JPG Anonymous | 07/06/23(Thu)19:05:43 No.184257583 Two hunters meet. Both are dead. >>184257927 # >>184258192 # >>184258442 # Anonymous 07/06/23(Thu)19:14:41 No.184257927 >>184257583 # >behold the peak of german comedy >>184258089 #

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Anon is from Europe | /r/Greentext

File: download.jpg (6 KB, 225x225) Anonymous 03/23/16(Wed)05:19:29 No.56759186 >be European >go to airport >get bombed >go to concert >get shot >draw Mohammed (peace be upon him) cartoon >get shot >catch bus >get bombed >go outside >get r---- >voice concern of the danger of letting in Muslim migrants >get arrested for intolerance

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Millennial smugposting | /r/Greentext

: SAGE NITE 639 KB GIF 08/10/23(Thu)15:12:45 No.904071796 i'm a real 90's kid unlike most of you tiktok zoomer f--- i remember what it was like when >nokia 3510i was best phone >runescape 2 was released >mp3 players were a thing, i had a 1GB Creative one >mindless self indulgence, icp, etc.. >world of warcraft was new >there was no social media >myspace was released >MMO games had soul and alive in-game community >4chan was new and exciting >internet wasn't as mainstream as today >even chicks used IRC and hitting on chicks in IRC was a thing >generic internet user wasn't as dumb as today >memes were more original than today, humor was different, people weren't as salty >DC++ and limewire were the s---, going through random people's files was exciting >WAP mobile internet was a thing and I used it for fapping to something like 64x128 images when on the move >girls didn't w---- as openly as today, p---------- was more rare and thus more taboo, etc >no streaming (eg. twitch), people actually played games instead of watching some f----- play for them i most definitely forgot something, please continue the list if you want

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Anon meets up with an old Friend | /r/Greentext

File: business.jpg (108 KB, 1200x692) □ Anonymous 08/10/23(Thu)00:55:54 No.904065055 >Sitting at restaurant with long time friend >Me tapping foot impatiently >Ask him what time it is >He checks his watch >>904065140 >>904065943 >"3:57" he says >Big smirk comes across my face >He smiles too and looks over, "What's so funny?" >I whip out my magnum and blast his head across the entire table >Bullet goes through the seat behind him and kills two more people in another booth

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Anon plays it safe | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: FMtMLhsC 606 KB PNG 08/09/23(Wed)16:10:56 No.55790281 >All the promising kids from high school f----- up their life by FOMOing into a bad relationship and ending up having kids Why is the nogf FOMO so brutal on normies? It gets them every time

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Anon is black | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 06/24/18(Sun)02:00:19 No.46325454 >be black >cant pay rent >kids are starving >just got payed >go to mall >guccibelt.jpg >have to have it otect GUCCI 25 KB JPG >go home >flex on kids >life is good

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anons balls are 13 51 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 58 KB JPG 08/10/23(Thu)06:24:32 No.74330986 why are my c-- stains brown?? like my c-- is whitey sure but the c-- stains themselves become brown within minutes am i going insane : Anonymous >>74330986 (OP) # u have cancer, they turn brown bc of the blood 08/10/23(Thu)06:26:27 No.74331010 : Anonymous >>74330986 (OP) # testicular cancer : Anonymous >>74330986 (OP) # it means you were r---- in your past life. 08/10/23(Thu)06:28:06 No.74331026 08/10/23(Thu)06:48:21 No.74331227 08/10/23(Thu)06:49:30 No.74331230 : Anonymous >>74330986 (OP) # Why do you retards with medical issues not go to the f------ clinic?

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Anon has a moment of clarity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous thats how it be 19 KB JPG >clarity.mp4 >stare at the girl in the video getting pounded >realize how enslaved humans are to biological 07/31/23(Mon)19:19:17 No.74229713 >be me >watching p--- >jerking off >stop drives and instinct >laugh >resume jerking off >explosive nut >get depressed : Anonymous 07/31/23(Mon)19:30:27 No.74229823 >>74229713 (OP) # Do nofap except try to torture yourself as much as inhumanly possible by sexually frustrating yourself. Follow that biological drive and instinct to procreate and your life and happiness will exponentially improve. Why wouldn't you want to be enslaved to a benevolent dictator? 135 KB JPG

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Life on easy mode | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Femboys prove that woomen live(...) 789 KB PNG 08/09/23(Wed)20:26:54 No.7432435 >Be femboy >Go on Omegle >People skip, skip and skip. >sigh. >put on thigh highs, booty shorts and crop top. >YOOOO FEMBOY?? DAMMN. SUP BABE >HELLO SAR HOW ARE YOU PLEASE SHOW BUSSY SAAR >WOW HEY WHAT'S UP MAN IM KINDA GAY TOO AHAHAHAHA NGL UR KINDA CUTE >000H CUTE OUTFIT WOW WANNA ADD ME ON DISCKORDU??? Literal proof that woomen/feminine things are treated better. Woomen live on easy mode by default.

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Anon's and his Friend's cocks learn to dance from his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Childhood memories thread CAMP TRENIALE 20 732 KB JPG 08/09/23(Wed)21:59:03 No.904060089 >be me >age 8 >walk in on dad in shower >facing away from the door swinging his hips back and forth >sees me go through the door >tells me he's doing the thunderclap >teaches me how to do it properly >ffw three years >day 1 at overnight summer camp >shower time >keep in mind there are 5 people in the showers at a time (5 shower heads) >"hey guys have you heard of thunder clapping?" >"no" >proceed to show cabinmates my flaccid penis swinging wildly around while i rock my hips >everyone starts laughing and doing it >counselor gets annoyed that we're taking too long and walks into shower area >sees 5 naked 10-11 y/os swinging their d---- around in the shower and laughing >jaw drops and he walks out without saying a word >man i miss summer camp

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Anon works at McDick’s | /r/Greentext

Anonymous My life is ass backwards 95 KB JPG 08/09/23(Wed)22:51:05 No.74330166 >be me, 25 >be single for over 3 years because fat and depressed >Decide to take action, lose over 100 pounds >Start lifting, looking more and more fit >Keep hopping between jobs, end up back at McDick's that I've worked at for years. Get hired in as manager again >Women there are shocked by my transformation >2 of them quickly confess their feelings and ask me out, find out that 2 more have a crush but won't say anything >mfw they're all unattractive single moms >One of them isn't even single >mfw I'm not about to raise some other loser's kids >Get asked at work every other day how I don't have a gf yet >Get told by several that I'm the only manager there that is actually good at my job >Still can't find a gf, spend everyday alone and friendless despite being seemingly popular amongst coworkers What the f--- is going on? How am I still alone despite being generally liked and attracting multiple women? Why can't I attract a girl who's at least a 6/10 with no kids? I'm losing my mind over this

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Anon finds a loophole for getting attention | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Femboys prove that woomen live(...) 789 KB PNG 08/09/23(Wed)14:26:54 No.74324356 >Be femboy >Go on Omegle >People skip, skip and skip. >sigh. >put on thigh highs, booty shorts and crop top. >YOOOO FEMBOY?? DAMMN. SUP BABE >HELLO SAR HOW ARE YOU PLEASE SHOW BUSSY SAAR >WOW HEY WHAT'S UP MAN IM KINDA GAY TOO AHAHAHAHA NGL UR KINDA CUTE >OOOH CUTE OUTFIT WOW WANNA ADD ME ON DISCKORDU??? Literal proof that woomen/feminine things are treated better. Woomen live on easy mode by default. 4 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Dilate for life | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous! 03/08/21(Mon)17:22:38 No.140835638 Did you guys know they have to dilate for life? I thought it was just for a couple years but no they have to do it every day for the rest of their miserable lives Imao >>140835673 # >>140835726 # : Anonymous 03/08/21(Mon)17:23:19 No.140835673 >>140835638 # >Did you guys know they have to dilate for life? Yes. >I thought it was just for a couple years It is. >>140835708 # >>140835737 # >>140835738 # >>140835800 # >>140835826 # >>140835846 # >>140835883 # >>140835904 # >>140835909 # >>140835911 #

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Greentext Stories - Anon has free will | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 46 KB JPG 07/14/23(Fri)13:52:54 No.74025793 >be me >Be on elevator full of people >Remember that I have free will >Start screaming as loud as I can >Everybody on the elevator is horrified >Later that day Go to the Store >Remember again that I have free will >Pick up a champagne bottle and smash it on the ground >Employee saw me and asked me to leave 3 Replies / 1 Image I do stuff like this sometimes and it's been ruining my life. I don't know how to stop View Thread

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