Anonymous 11/04/23(Sat)15:29:48 No.191723178 >be 13 >move to different state >cant really find my place >befriend classmate >she is pretty nerdy, doesnt have a lot of friends >get along really well >others like to say we are a couple but just shrug it off >fast forward 6 years >present day >still friends >this week, she says she wants to go to the beach >last time I was at the beach was like 5 years ago, I kinda avoid it because im pretty skinny and insecure >go to beach with her >see her in swimsuit for the first time >she actually has a rocking body >now I can only think about f------ her why did she have to ruin our friendship like this

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Anonymous 139 KB JPG 12/19/24(Thu)15:28:13 No.928849473 >Be Rose >Throw away a priceless jewel worth hundreds of millions of dollars >Could have made her family financially secure for generations but says no for le epic symbolism >Reminisces about the man that saved her, but also hogs the floating door like a selfish pig, killing him. (Watch the Mythbusters episode) This is one of the greatest love stories ever told? Dude, Rose is a f------ bitch.

Anonymous (ID: 9Mc0Hnwf 12/19/24(Thu)15:49:03 No.491828169 1.94 MB JPG >sells your gold reserves >basically completely crashes your economy >Canadian dollar crashes >tells leafs to anhero with suicide pods if they get too sick >imports 6 gorillion pajeets to fight over a single Tim Horton's >gets offended when basically only neighbor that has been decent says they would be better off annexed Why leafs? Why?

: Anonymous 05/26/22(Thu)13:13:15 No.68790277 196 KB PNG >Go on omegle >say im interested in politics >match up >ask them about their political opinion >take the radical extreme opposite of the answer >get them riled up >write a question of catalogues >they type for over 2 minutes >disconnect before they can send me their shittext 4 victims today

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/fit/zen has an realization | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 47 KB JPG Anonymous 1.83 MB GIF Anonymous Anonymous 315 KB JPG 11/04/23(Sat)08:04:12 No.72709193 type "fit" but move your fingers one key to the right when you type it >>72709193 (OP) # F--- 11/04/23(Sat)08:05:11 No.72709198 Anonymous >>72709193 (OP) # its over. 11/04/23(Sat)08:06:31 No.72709204 11/04/23(Sat)08:07:55 No.72709213 Anonymous >>72709193 (OP) # uh oh... this don't look good 11/04/23(Sat)08:11:34 No.72709227 11/04/23(Sat)08:11:58 No.72709232

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Break from tradition | /r/Greentext

07/21/21 (Wed)12:42:03 No.64657226 >have a crush on a handsome successful chad >use incel advice to make myself attractive (dont swear or drink, dont wear too much makeup, act cute and pure, be trad and modest, make my hobbies baking and knitting and s--- like that, make it known im a virgin to him, stay at home and want to be a wife and mommy) : Anonymous 9 KB JPG >he ends up choosing a slutty, binge drinking, bimbo cakeface girl who runs her own business and is extremely unfeminine and loud and hates kids Stupid s----- incel advice only works for attracting betas.

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Vietnam war, America did nothing wrong. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 4-11-2023 12:42:18 No.30867583 15 KB JPEG >Be post colonial country that's gets split in two > be Northern communist > invade southern US ally > USA comes to save the south > USA loses tens of thousands of troops defending the south > Everyone treats US as invading force > be North Vietnam(pic unrelated)

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Anon spends too much time on /pol/ | /r/Greentext

:Anonymous 281 KB JPG 11/04/23(Sat)08:02:21 No.189527947 >Black female coworkers randomly throw me a surprise party for me >Ask why >They say it's because I'm always so nice and helpful and everyone in the office loves me >Remember all the racist/sexist things I say about their kind on this website daily >Feel guilty Does this happen to anyone else? Feels bad man.

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Anon Gets A Girl's Number | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/20/19(Tue)02:49:28 No.54002277 GUYS! HELP! I NEED HELP! F---! >see cute girl >feeling extra cheeky >decide to flirt with her because I'm a 23 year old virgin who's never even held hands with a girl and probably will hang myself soon anyways so I have nothing to lose 43 KB JPG >she starts flirting back >she asks me for my number >I give it to her >couple hours go by and too scared to text her and she hasn't said anything >couple minutes later SHE TEXTS ME >keeps flirting with me and sending lots of emojis >asks me if I want to go out to the movies or hang out WHAT THE FUCUKKKKKKK NOOOO WHAAAAAATTttt THIS IS THE FIRST TIME A GIRL HAS MADE AN EFFORT TO SPEND TIME WITH ME, AND THIS GIRL IS F------ CUTE WHAT THE F--- JS GOING ON?!?!?!? AM I BEING PRANKED?!?!??????? WHAT THE F--- IS GOING ONNNNN N N NDJSJSJJSSH I'm scared. I was just playing around now she probably thinks I'm some normie with social skills and stuff, I won't make it guys, if I go I'll get f------ destroyed, my social anxiety will give me a heart attack. FUUUCK WHY COULDNT I BE A F------ NORMAL PERSON!!!!! 25 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Its so unfair bros | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (+1 2 15 KB JPG : Anonymous ay carumba 11/04/23(Sat)05:51:48 No.189523768 USA >wins independence in 1783 >becomes a superpower in only 162 years (1945) it's over for us Mexicans meanwhile Mexico >wins independence in 1821 >is still a s------- 202 years later 11/04/23(Sat)05:52:36 No.189523799

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Anon blames black people | /r/Greentext

>be me >told having a gf is the best thing that could possibly happen >get one on discord >instantly despise her and want to kill her >hate it when shes remotely affectionate to me >keep making excuses never to meet up >leave This isnt the happiness I was promised you n------ lied to me

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Anon plays Angry Birds. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 54 KB PNG No.75294459 >has probably f----- every angry bird 11/04/23(Sat)06:10:20 >only protects 3 eggs when she can give birth to more >sees pigs want the eggs >shows up like halfway through the game >gives birth to an atomic egg midair >egg explodes and kills pigs >her body size shrinks and she even has a little smirk on her face >sits there for the rest of the round is she a bird w----?

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Anon has a theory on incel stuff | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>30081109 # I think low self esteem can become sentient and take over bodies like a parasite. Incel stuff is how the low self esteem parasite infects new hosts. It's actually low self esteem making those posts, capturing anon as a mindslave. 11/02/23(Thu)05:25:18 No.30082377 >>30082393 #

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Somerset Gimp banned | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Somerset Gimp banned from wearing a gimp suit in public and 'crawling, wriggling or writhing on the ground' for five years Joshua Hunt, a self-employed gardener from Claverham, North Somerset, had been linked by police to 25 incidents across the county over the past five years. ⒸFriday 3 November 2023 16:15, UK Joshua Hunt i am being Oppressed 11/04/23(Sat)02:40:26 No.11145765 Anonymous Anonymous gim.png 675 KB PNG 11/04/23 (Sat)02:43:45 No.11145769 nobodys shocked or frightened in that one video of him and they just kind of pity him for attention w------ instead II 11/04/23(Sat)03:00:59 No.11145781 throbbing gristle already did everything like fifty years ago it's not possible to even interest people with this stuff much less shock them Anonymous i just want to live my life in peace 11/04/23 (Sat)03:07:39 No.11145787

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Anon discovers the true origin story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 168771150 MB 8852 394345 FV 1553 ZF6-633 BB6B0149-59C3-43F2-9FE7-329FE6283F3E.jpg 25 KB JPG >look up meaning of name "Drake" >it means "snake or dragon" >the devil is referred to as both a snake and dragon in the Bible >Jesus's birth name was Yeshua, which translates a Joshua in English >MFW the Bible was the original Drake and Josh >MFW Drake Bell is the antichrist and Josh Peck is the Messiah Anonymous 04/20/21(Tue)13:26:21 No.149806974 based Anonymous big if true 04/20/21(Tue)13:28:05 No.149807034 04/20/21(Tue)13:29:09 No.149807075

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Anon wants a killer gf | /r/Greentext

>I want a demon, alien girl like in elfen lied who is strong and kill everybody, she even try to kill me but she fall in love with me after i save her from an attack. >WE BOTH HATE HUMANITY, we have no friends, just eachother which is the best thing ever because i always wanted a girl who had nothing but me. >We both were abused and we want to find true love and we will both die for eachother. >it s awesome that i can have a gf who is able to kill people but she protect me and love me, make me feel special. >I will want her to kill feminists, liberals first so the planet will be more pure, only love not sexual freedom aka degeneracy. 94 KB JPG

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Greentext Stories - anon wants to f--- his friend | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 11/04/23(Sat)15:29:48 No.191723178 >be 13 >move to different state >cant really find my place >befriend classmate >she is pretty nerdy, doesnt have a lot of friends >get along really well >others like to say we are a couple but just shrug it off >fast forward 6 years >present day >still friends >this week, she says she wants to go to the beach >last time I was at the beach was like 5 years ago, I kinda avoid it because im pretty skinny and insecure >go to beach with her >see her in swimsuit for the first time >she actually has a rocking body >now I can only think about f------ her why did she have to ruin our friendship like this

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