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2 d Conversation with my almost 3 year old today Iris: I played with my colleagues today. Me: Colleagues? Iris: Yes. Me: Iris, they are your friends, not colleagues. Iris: Why? Me: Because colleagues are the people you work with. Iris: Children work by playing, so they are my colleagues. Me: (speechless) #montessori #playistheworkofchildhood

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Comments 3.5K 笑い続ける = X Х 1 month ago (edited) My sister called me a weeb. I stole her phone and changed her ringtone to this. I then proceeded to call her while she was talking to her crush. Update: Her crush was a bit freaked out of her ringtone and proceeded to just stay friends, mission accomplished 1.7K 目 57

when i got in a car crash and called my dad right away and he just said "skill issue" and hung up 5572 18 810

Extendalk just went out wearing my 1920s clothing and heard a girl ask her mom if i was a ghost to which her mom replied "no, i think thats just a lesbian" Х 68.2K 564 4294

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G 1d I remember a boss who kept trying to bully me around girls. Eventually, I reacted by grabbing his neck, putting him against the wall, and saying, "Go on, take the p one more time". He backed down and said "calm down I was only joking". I hate when people use the only joking line or try to gaslight the situation calling their "victims" too sensitive A few days later he called me into his office and one of the general managers was there. Expecting to be sacked for violent conduct, the general manager asked for my side of the story. I gave it and the bully said this "I didn't mean to offend you, but now I know where your limits are, I won't push them again". General manager then said can we shake hands and draw a line in the sand. I agreed reluctantly. He did stay true to his word to my surprise, but fk sake why has he got to constantly push people's buttons until they crack.

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An Intellect

r/gratefuldead Posted by 18 minutes ago Today my daughter asked to listen to real music Vote ↓ I was listening to Red Rocks 7/8/78 and my wife, who hates GD asked me to turn it off. My daughter, 2.5y/o asked to put the music back on, so my wife offered Taylor Swift, "rock and roll", etc. Her: "I want to listen to real music!" Me: "Grateful Dead?" Her: "Yup!" Me: :') 22 Comments Share Save 9 people here CI

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Uhh

one time a nurse left the trainee in the room to draw my blood. and i was 12 at the time, she was so scared, i walked her through the whole process bc i've had it done so many times and then she was shaking with the needle so i said "give me that"

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Uhh

one time a nurse left the trainee in the room to draw my blood. and i was 12 at the time, she was so scared, i walked her through the whole process bc i've had it done so many times and then she was shaking with the needle so i said "give me that"

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A Miracle

mrswordsmith.com Word Tag Ⓡworks 887 Like Learn more 90 comments. 125 shares Comment Share My boy is three and can recite the opening monologue from Romeo and Juliet from memory. There is no age limit on the English language. Like Reply 13 O

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Seems Legit

My closest encounter with the mafia is I went to a starkly empty pizza place in Rhode Island once, they seemed utterly confused that I wanted a pizza, it took 45 minutes to make, they gave it to me for free, and it was the best pizza I'd ever had. 12:06 PM 10/4/23

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That Didn't Happen

+ It honestly was very humbling. #fyp #foryoupage #storytime #funny ae owns this sound - R 463.8K 1375 Never forgetting the time my best friend and I went out to dinner to talk about our lives and a therapist who sat at the table next to us, gave us her 13.9K Mrsnaydeen business card 74.8K

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What

DEJI A @dejiimole Follow They got a hotel in the middle of the night while it was raining but the manager refused to give them the suite they booked. She went to a payphone outside to complain to her husband. When she returned, the owner welcomed. They had bought the hotel. TONY OF LAGOS @Tony_of_lagos 1d What is the strangest way you found out that your friend was wealthy?? 10:06 PM 13 Oct 23 3.9M Views

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Get Real

I am a magnet for the weirdest people i swear. my freaking THERAPIST asked me my youtube channel name and asked. to join my discord server to "investigate"???? and when i said i hate being stared at in public, he said well men have an evolutionary desire to mate which is why they stare. Like how tf does that help my anxiety?

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Oh Really

... Our pastor told a story during this morning's sermon which I had never heard before. On the night the Titanic was sinking the captain and the other men onboard were trapped in the control room. The captain asked "who among us does not know Jesus Christ?" and a few of them raised their hands. The captain then explained eternal life to them and they all prayed together to accept Jesus into their hearts as the boat sank. We should all live this way. Not being afraid to spread the love and knowledge of Christ even in the worst situations.

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This Has to be a Joke

O Carlos ROcelote @Carlos_ROcelote Subscribe theres an honest black man I always see working a security job in a mall parking here in dubai always tip him for no reason this morning, he saw me driving my rolls royce with Miss Russia walking behind me he ran at me and, at the verge of crying, asked whether I could give him any type of mentorship or tip for his life I thought of it for a good minute paraphrasing, told him the following: - "Sit down every day of your life starting today. By yourself. In solitude. Learn to control your mind and to only entertain thoughts that help create the reality you wish to live in. Imagine what it's like to drive with your dream family in your dream car, on your way to your dream home, while being healthy and strong. All of that while knowing you attained every ounce of success and love with unquestionable integrity. Contemplate it in solitude. Ask god to listen to your emotions. Every time you remember it, feel it again, even if for just one second" - "here's a couple of months of Circle O membership for free. Don't waste it. It will change your life" brother was crying he hugged me and thanked me bookmark this watch the man become king

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Odd

Chase Geiser @realchasegeiser I was holding my two year old daughter on a walk moments ago and for the first time out of nowhere she said, "God is good. God is real." I started to quietly tear up. She couldn't see my face and I didn't make a sound, but she said, "Don't cry. It's okay."

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That Happened - That Happened

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2 d Conversation with my almost 3 year old today Iris: I played with my colleagues today. Me: Colleagues? Iris: Yes. Me: Iris, they are your friends, not colleagues. Iris: Why? Me: Because colleagues are the people you work with. Iris: Children work by playing, so they are my colleagues. Me: (speechless) #montessori #playistheworkofchildhood

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