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: Anonymous 12/16/23(Sat)00:24:35 No.660808937 grand theft autory FIVE 9.17.2013 IMG_9441.jpg 60 KB JPG Since GTA hype is back. I'll tell a ragetard story from GTA 5's release hype. >Be me, 15 years old in 2013. >GTA 5 hype is massive, played every GTA game in my childhood up to that point. >Already planned to buy the game online because I knew it would be sold out at stores & I wasn't old enough to technically buy it. >Still have 2 prepaid $150 cards my grandpa gave for my birthday. >Bought GTA 5 at release online, got it within 2 days. >Did the intro missions, after that immediately went to the strip club as is tradition. >Got a lap dance & wanted to keep touching the girl, stupid rule where you can't touch them. >Touched them too much & got thrown out & couldn't re- enter. Got p----- off & started fighting the bouncers. >Somehow f------ lost the fight because I suck, WASTED. >[Tard rage activated] immediately ejected the disk & threw it at the wall frisbee style as I usually did with other games I raged at. >Didn't expect it to break because the other games never did, GTA 5 disk breaks, a little piece of disk chips off at the center, didn't work afterwards. >Had to wait 2 months before I could by another copy. Everyone & friends playing GTA 5 while I'm playing GTA 4 & the episode DLCs while in a state of regret & self loathing.

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon loves the D in a no homo way | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I love sucking d--- 704 KB WEBM 12/16/21(Thu)06:04:29 No.21545752 >message a bunch of guys "hey i want to suck your d---" >suck a guy's d--- for the first time. very weird but extremely hot in retrospect >want to suck d--- more often, but don't want to be gay >put an ad up "looking for someone who wants b------- every day no h---" >guy responds. pretty average looking. not impressive but eh >invite him over, immediately give him head as discussed. 10 minutes into meeting this guy and i've sucked his d---, swallowed his c-- >comes over again the same day, give him another b------ >texts me the next day, agree to suck his d--- again >guy blows my phone up constantly. "bro where u at lol" >usually agree to meet even if i don't feel like it. always glad that i did. >tame my gag reflex on a dildo just to give this guy better head >he's all like "f--- yeah dude that's so good s--- dude im gonna c--" >basically become glurk glurk 4900 >probably swallow a gallon of this guy's j--- over the next few months >suddenly he moves to another city f---

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The Roman Empire | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/13/22(Wed)02:15:26 No.314578097 >Be ancient romans >blame jews for everything >jews piece together some fairy tale religion called christianity so they can continue existing 253 KB JPG >make it so that the religion's main God is hebrew, follower of judaism, his mother jewish, and tell every follower to sacrifice their own happiness for the jewish "God" >make Jews the chosen people and jewish land is his favorite land >start mixing up and destablizing roman civilisation by conversions >it works and roman empire falls >today, jews still use abrahamic missionaries to convert countries built on strong cultural religion to slowly destablize them >christcucks gaslight themselves into ignoring that christianity started as a jewish subsect >their ignorance makes your job easy Imao aside from Greeks and Romans, Europeans have literally zero culture and their entire existence loses it's meaning once that book written by their "enemies" ceases to exist. How come people still turn a blind eye to the fact that jews use abrahams to mix up, destablize countries and then take full control of every country that has a strong cultural/religious roots before they start doing their (((thing))

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Wish cute girls would stop hitting on me bros... | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/15/23(Fri)17:46:24 No.660782268 Fx5GMS4XgA8JQ70.jpg 28 KB JPG >be man >enter lobby of a Farming Sim >"hey girls, how ya doin" >silence >"wow is that a guy? nice voice" >"do you even know how to play this Imao" >"im from the same location has you, be my bf haha" >they kept making fart-jokes and asking me for hand-pics >after a few games i get out, too tense Why are women like this? I just went back to play boomer- shooters with the boys...

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anon has a dream | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/24/21 (Wed)15:10:54 No.850421775 106 KB JPG >be me >sleeping.wav >dreaming that i am a young jewish boy following around my older also jewish cousin >we are walking around poland at night >going alley to alley s------- >just dropping our pants and taking massive s---- in corners and on walls >wake up >oh no >there's a s--- in my ass >it's stuck there like a s--- cork >book it from bed to bathroom >wrap hand in toilet paper >manually pull cork s--- out of my ass >unleash a tsunami of diarrhea >f------ jews >f------ jews s--- my pants

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Anon's Name Is Gilbert | /r/Greentext

File: 49116898-BA06-481F-9C31-65BA817A1011.jpg (32 KB, 244x213) O Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)21:34:31 No.75769824 [Reply] >>75770073 >>75770461 Why does everyone call me anon? My name is Gilbert □ Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)22:00:00 No.75770014 >>75770073 >>75770461 File: 1697820688996987.png (402 KB, 736x813) My name is Gilbert too Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)22:08:05 No.75770073 >>75769824 (OP) >>75770014 Imaooo this n---- name gilbert Imfao

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Anon is a giganerd | /r/Greentext

File: wittgenstein.png (224 KB, 674x506) Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)13:55:22 No.30363546 > be me > 19 > 6'2 > 74 kg > father died before i was born, mother killed herself when i was 2 > sociopatic, eccentric, impulsive > signs of schizoid, narcissistic, bipolar personality disorders > studied mathematics and mechanics > won National U20 Chess Olympiad > never attended to any class in uni > i was there only ones for national mathematics olympiad qualification > got in physical fight with math professor, because he called logicians useless > they will reunion me next semester, because i won National Mathematics Olympiad > never had any social media > never had any strong connection with people > never touched female in my life > never talked to female in my life > never got interested in any female in my life > didn't went outside for second month already > too busy working on Putnam Olympiad problems > too busy reading wittgenstein's tractatus > too busy reading textbooks on analytic number theory, topology, differential geometry, analysis, mathematical logic etc > too busy recompiling my gentoo's kernel > too busy editing my config files Anonymous 12/14/23(Thu)15:35:32 No.30364311 It's you again.

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Kagurabachi anon sets a challenge | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)18:17:44 No.260566266 >>260566307 >>260566312 >>260566357 >>260566384>>260566415>>26056708 >>260565065 Last digit is Chihiro's penis length in inches Second to last is Sojo's length in inches No 260566266 Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)18:19:15 No.260566312 ✓ >>260566266 Rivals indeed Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)18:23:13 No.260566415 ✓ >>260566266 M-MASAKA! $$ 導 Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)18:19:02 No.260566307 >>260566266 Kino.... 外健 Anonymous 12/13/23(Wed)19:33:57 No.260567963 ✓ >>260566266 evenly matched

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Anons discuss an important political question | /r/Greentext

File: 611ffb1676743eaf992fefb8a(...).jpg (18 KB, 300x300) | 12/14/23(Thu)13:39:02 No.451908094 D >>451908345 Anonymous (ID: OH8w1+E3) >>451909526 >>451911867 >>451912048 >>451913702 >>451914160 >>451914446 >tribalism and in-group preference is natural to humans >competition is between groups and individuals is natural for humans >Humans, as much as other great apes are hierarchical species. >Humans are cautious of other humans, who different from them. >Humans have desire to harvest as much resources as possible for themself and their family. Humans are literally born right-wing, why there are left-wingers? Anonymous (ID: VJrQHfYE) >>451908094 (OP) >why there are left-wingers? Women 12/14/23(Thu)13:41:38 No.451908345 ► >>451908435

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Anon is concerned with the future of gaming | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 803 KB JPG 12/15/23(Fri)03:49:00 No.660751124 >children today literally have no idea what a keyboard and mouse is >>660751581 # I hope you all realize that the gaming you like is going away. : Anonymous >>660751124 (OP) # What the f--- is that thing? 12/15/23(Fri)03:49:55 No.660751190

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Life hacks | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 5 KB PNG 12/14/23(Thu)13:54:37 No.660666159 >open cheat engine >select steam.exe >get your wallet money value >change it to 99999 >??? >profit F--- THE SYSTEM! 12/14/23(Thu)13:56:17 No.660666254 : Anonymous >login to bank account >change your savings to one million dollars ONE NOTHING WRONG WITH ME >>660666612 # >>660672540 # >>660679181 #

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Anons plan to steal | /r/Greentext

File: IMG_0235.jpg (47 KB, 1079x1080) 6 uses to put their sealed games in >genius >its a game from Nintendo switch broke as a joke to buy a new gen console f--- yeah this is gonna work >at 5:34 PM >go to video game section >take game and put it in pocket >wear sunglasses and hood again >walk around a store for a bit Stealing games at a Best Buy Anonymous 12/14/23 (Thu)17:45:37 No.660735961 >switch uses cartridges so easy >realizes that Best Buy has cameras all over the place >idea >go back home and get a whole sheet of paper >make a whole map of the f------ place >showing which camera is at and employees are mostly at >wear black hoodie and with long pockets >wear hat and sunglasses >black gloves >black shoes >placed my cart near the refrigerators >go to bathroom >be me >16 year old >2018 >wanting a game that's $50 >broke as a black guy on his wellfare check >parents won't buy it from me as they disown me for retaking chemistry class as I failed it. >friends are assholes and won't get it for me, after the all nice s--- I've gave them >f--- >take sunglasses and hood off and go to Best Buy as a regular customer >buy a few snacks and put them in cart >take the cartridge out >put game case and card in pocket >flush the toilet just to not be suspicious >nearest Best Buy has a copy of the game I want >go to Best Buy >go to the games display >realize something >some games don't have that stupid f------ plastic/glass protector that Best Buy >smells like s--- as old men in bathroom is gasping for s--- >take the sealed crap off the game >throw it on the floor >take cart and place the game case back in the display section >buy the snacks in my cart >run off back to my car Mission accomplished >game sucks ass >never play game ever again a few years later >come back to see f------ armed police guards standing in front the exit doors >wow they learned. >good job Best Buy but you didn't stop a teen from stealing

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Anon hates online-only games | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 9 KB JPG 12/14/23(Thu)18:14:40 No.660738554 >buy single player game >start the campaign >"connecting to central server" >instant quit, uninstall, refund i hate this s---

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Greentext Stories - Anon activates his gamer rage | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

: Anonymous 12/16/23(Sat)00:24:35 No.660808937 grand theft autory FIVE 9.17.2013 IMG_9441.jpg 60 KB JPG Since GTA hype is back. I'll tell a ragetard story from GTA 5's release hype. >Be me, 15 years old in 2013. >GTA 5 hype is massive, played every GTA game in my childhood up to that point. >Already planned to buy the game online because I knew it would be sold out at stores & I wasn't old enough to technically buy it. >Still have 2 prepaid $150 cards my grandpa gave for my birthday. >Bought GTA 5 at release online, got it within 2 days. >Did the intro missions, after that immediately went to the strip club as is tradition. >Got a lap dance & wanted to keep touching the girl, stupid rule where you can't touch them. >Touched them too much & got thrown out & couldn't re- enter. Got p----- off & started fighting the bouncers. >Somehow f------ lost the fight because I suck, WASTED. >[Tard rage activated] immediately ejected the disk & threw it at the wall frisbee style as I usually did with other games I raged at. >Didn't expect it to break because the other games never did, GTA 5 disk breaks, a little piece of disk chips off at the center, didn't work afterwards. >Had to wait 2 months before I could by another copy. Everyone & friends playing GTA 5 while I'm playing GTA 4 & the episode DLCs while in a state of regret & self loathing.

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