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File: Antalya_Museum_Covered_st(...).jpg (103 KB, 800x532) Instructions: >Begin preparations at dark >Seal the box with tape Anonymous 01/13/24(Sat)17:06:45 No.36934163 [Reply] >>36934195 A Guest in the Garden. Perform at home. You'll need: >A box >A blindfold >A rope >Tie the rope into a noose large enough to fit your neck >Open every window, closet, cabinet, drawer, and door in the house as wide as possible, and leave them that way >Lighting doesn't matter, you'll have the blindfold on >Place the blindfold over your eyes >Place the noose around your neck, letting it fall across your back >Place the box in your hands >Begin moving >Do not stop repeating the mantra >Do not remove the blindfold >Memorize the following, and begin repetition >"There is a guest in the garden of the Patchwork King >And a gift for the Court of Forgotten Things >There is no king, nor worthy heir >To take a throne as noble or fair >Around my neck, this covenant lies >Behind my back, the Herald's eyes >I mask my face in Alagaddan Night >The Pact of Skin is recognized" >The doors you opened will begin to close >The Herald has arrived >Follow the sound >Keep hold of the box, regardless of how heavy it becomes >When you hear footsteps trailing behind, continue moving >Continue to follow the sounds room-to-room >When the box becomes so heavy that it cannot be moved further, place it at your feet >The nearest doors will close, remain still >Step onto the box >Keep still as you feel the noose lift and tighten >When the noose is dropped and hits your back again, step off of the box >There is a guest in the garden of the Patchwork King

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☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect Anonymous (ID: 7KXnZ81d) Republicucks ▼ Settings Mobile Home 11/24/24(Sun)17:17:53 No.489470595 Tom Cotton Threatens to Invade Holland to Protect Israel's Government From ICC Arrest Warrant Phillip Nieto Nov 21st, 2024, 4:18 pm 796 comments X Post reddit MR. COTTON 242 KB PNG >"America first" >"One of our allies doesn't like our presi--- I mean, Israeli prime minister? We must invade that terrorist state!!!!" I wonder who really is in charge of America at this point.

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the writing genius of George Lucas | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/14/24(Sun)00:10:07 No. 194900896 >my wife is going to die, if I help you will you resurrect her >sure thing, Mike >less than a day later >where is my wife? >you killed her, also sorry, but no refunds

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Anon overcomes his arachnophobia | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/14/24 (Sun)00:08:51 No.912334123 >be afraid of spiders >have strange dream of f------ girl at a costume party in spider costume >wake up >not afraid of spiders anymore wat

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anon's friend knows his priorities | /r/Greentext

>be me >22 >mom and dad want to talk >they awkwardly bring up sex and p--- >"bit late for the sex talk, guys" >they confess they both did p--- for a year in the late 80s >"it was time we tell, we didnt want you to find any of our scenes on the internet" >oksurewaitholdon.jpg >feel like someone hit me in the head for a day >miss gayming session with best friend >writes on Steam: "where were you bro" >tell him the full story >asks me if I got a link, he wants to see my mom's "thick 80s vintage bush" Anonymous 01/14/24(Sun)01:18:39 No.912329416 ► >>912329373 do you have any links tho?

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Anon is banned from a bathroom | /r/Greentext

File: AR-15 Back in Brass Nine (...).png (824 KB, 1000x1000) AR/15 BACK IN BRASS >try to take a s--- for several minutes >oh well, better luck next time Anonymous 01/13/24(Sat)20:33:58 No.912332791 [Reply] >be me >go to local kroger >go to bathroom like you commonly do >be 23.5, and have been frequenting this bathroom since you were a teenager, likely for the past six to eight years >mordibly obese sheboon sees you and tells you you can't go to that bathroom >first time this has happened ever >sheboon follows you to the bathroom >wait a few minutes for whoever is in the bathroom to finish >non-employee comes out, as is virtually always the case with this bathroom >go to bathroom >clean up after yourself because you're not a n----- >go outside bathroom >see entire blockade set up in front of bathroom door with scrawny f----- manager waiting for you >he is around 5'7 with manager name tag >manager is visibly shaken by your appearance >tell him flat out you're almost 24 and that you've likely used this bathroom over a thousand times since you were a teenager >manager tells you you are no longer allowed to use that bathroom That sheboon has likely seen me go in there tons of times before without saying a word, but as soon as she sees me with the AR-15 BACK IN BRASS t-shirt she starts chimping out, waits for me to enter the bathroom, spends several minutes putting s--- up in front of the bathroom door to form a literal f------ blockade, and calls the f------ manager on my ass. That t-shirt is the only thing I can think of that caused all this to happen.

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OP’s Coworker Thirsty | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 39 KB JPG 04/19/21 (Mon)12:44:31 No.852461236 >be me 20 >at work >been flirting with 45 y/o milf constantly >she texts me whilst im infront of her in a room of people >"take my bottle, go pee in it, and hand it to me > do so > she drinks it in front of everyone whilst making eye contact with me. >h-------- do you believe my story? cos i swear to you this happened today.

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Femanon’s day at work | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous toomuchautism.help >be me femtedl touchstarved >raging femcel, living in my moms garage bc free rent >work at mall >shittyjob.sadness touchtstarved femicel 01/13/24(Sat) 18:08:41 No.76102146 24 KB PNG >regular customer at the mall we call G says he likes my hair >laugh.mp3 >explain that I haven't washed it in a while and it's probably really gross (STUPID STUPID AUTISM) >he laughs >success.smile >he suddenly looks really nervous >ohno.scared >he awkwardly asks if he can smell it. >fuckingsoakedinstantly.aaa >puts his arms around me briefly and smells it >says it smells nice >mfw >gives me his number >he stays and chats with coworkers for a minute >he leaves >fearcryingontheinside.mp3 what do i text him???? i am so scared.... what the f--- do i do what the f--- do i do. do i text G???

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Anon wishes to undo it all | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 01/12/24(Fri)03:12:56 No.912225257 >>912225378 File: s540X19NdX.jpg (45 KB, 1066x1066) >be me >horny 17 year old >have no girlfriend or any kind of boyfriend free girl >get idea >get a spare hoodie >stuff my thick bed covers inside it (the ones you sleep under) >manipulate it so some of it can go through sleeves to imitate arms >get some to go into where the head would be >put hood up >i now have a girlfriend with no legs and an exposed bottom >get another idea >make a small hole in the bottom >it is now a vagina >try f------ said "vagina" >don't feel anything >eventually realize what I've done once horniness wears off >undo everything >lie under my bed covers >mfw i made a fake girlfriend >mfw i tried to f--- my own bed covers

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Anon done goofed | /r/Greentext

File: ezgif-7-ecf31d6cc9.jpg (32 KB, 628x607) I walked in on my daughter naked and now she dosen't want to talk to me Anonymous 01/09/24(Tue)23:56:13 No.912144515 ► >be me >father >have 11 year old daughter >love her very much >starts to get more conscious and insecure about her changing body >try to support her as much as possible >one evening >wake up from a nap >feel like s--- >feel a lot hornier than usual >forget that i was sleeping in just my boxers >head to bathroom to j------- >unwillingly go to my daughter's room >door's unlocked >walk in >see my daughter butt naked dropping her towel >she just standing there petrified and silent >get a good glimpse of her t---, p----, and even some of her ass >get almost instant boner that's visible because of my boxers >tired self thinks nothing of it >reach in my boxers to j------- >"EEEEKKK!!! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!!" >wake up >realize what i'm doing >dash out of her room as fast as possible >return to the master bedroom in a cold sweat >wtfjusthappened.webp >after a while i put some clothes on and go to her door >it's locked >hear her crying like crazy saying "daddy saw me naked, daddy saw me naked" over and over again >knock on door >she gets a panic attack >try to apologize to her >doesn't accept my apology >tells me to go away >feelsbadman.png What the f--- do I do anons? I don't want to throw my relationship with away over a stupid incident. How do I rectify things with her? Also before you ask, yes she was really hot.

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The app is getting worse and worse | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The f--- happened to youtube OH, I HATE THIS 19 KB JPG 01/13/24(Sat)23:14:40 No.76098019 >want to watch video on phone >open youtube >scroll >ad >community post by someone I don't care about >youtube shorts >another community post that is just 2017 twitter memes >another ad >more youtube shorts Where the f--- are my videos youtube

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I don't understand half of these words | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ambatukam has bonded my little(...) 518 KB PNG 01/12/24(Fri)21:40:17 No.76085926 >be me, 23 yo >live in Illinois and its snowing like hell out here >little bro is 15, and his highschool got the day off in physical school because of it >he has to attend an online class today >he goes to the kitchen and we start talking >tells me about the online school >suddenly think of zoom bombing >me: "have you ever been zoom bombed?" >little bro: "no" >tell him I've seen so many vids of zoom bombs and we're both smiling >suddenly ambatukam zoom bomb memes pop up in my head >suddenly start laughing my ass off >hesitate to ask him if he knows about it >fuckit.png >ask him if he knows about the ambatukam memes >he smiles and says yeah >i then tell him about a meme of him boarding a japanese airplane and saying, "i'm about to blow" >he starts laughing >mfw turns out my 15 year old little brother may be as much of a degenerate as I am

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Anon has problems with Steam | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Epic games aint that bad EPIC GAMES 01/13/24(Sat)17:26:15 No.663606770 >be me > wants to download Forza from Steam > Estimated download time is 3 f------ days and 5 mbit/s download speed > Even tho im Germanon this is f------ ridiculous! > check download Speed. It's normal. > Shuts off every device that could use 9 KB JPG bandwith. Nothing. > Restart PC and router. > Still doesnt work. > Clear steam caches change download region. > Download still ass. > Ponder a bit and reinstall steam and restart PC again. > Download still ass, W--! > Finally check if Epic Launcher suffers the same. > Download Remnants of Ashes in lightspeed, HOW?! > Check Steam again. > It f------ Works! How TF did Epic kick Steams ass?

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Anon almost made it | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/13/24(Sat)11:45:57 No.663570680 Shadowheart approves. 4 bis NERF THIS! & Screenshot_20240105_214130_Photos~2.jpg 311 KB JPG >driving behind a genuine GIRL GAMER >realize later that if I'd rear-ended her we would have had to exchange numbers F--- bros I blew it.

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Greentext Stories - There is a guest in the garden of the patchwork king on /x/ | /r/Greentext

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File: Antalya_Museum_Covered_st(...).jpg (103 KB, 800x532) Instructions: >Begin preparations at dark >Seal the box with tape Anonymous 01/13/24(Sat)17:06:45 No.36934163 [Reply] >>36934195 A Guest in the Garden. Perform at home. You'll need: >A box >A blindfold >A rope >Tie the rope into a noose large enough to fit your neck >Open every window, closet, cabinet, drawer, and door in the house as wide as possible, and leave them that way >Lighting doesn't matter, you'll have the blindfold on >Place the blindfold over your eyes >Place the noose around your neck, letting it fall across your back >Place the box in your hands >Begin moving >Do not stop repeating the mantra >Do not remove the blindfold >Memorize the following, and begin repetition >"There is a guest in the garden of the Patchwork King >And a gift for the Court of Forgotten Things >There is no king, nor worthy heir >To take a throne as noble or fair >Around my neck, this covenant lies >Behind my back, the Herald's eyes >I mask my face in Alagaddan Night >The Pact of Skin is recognized" >The doors you opened will begin to close >The Herald has arrived >Follow the sound >Keep hold of the box, regardless of how heavy it becomes >When you hear footsteps trailing behind, continue moving >Continue to follow the sounds room-to-room >When the box becomes so heavy that it cannot be moved further, place it at your feet >The nearest doors will close, remain still >Step onto the box >Keep still as you feel the noose lift and tighten >When the noose is dropped and hits your back again, step off of the box >There is a guest in the garden of the Patchwork King

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