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: Anonymous 1011 KB GIF 02/29/24(Thu)16:37:19 No.76624756 9 Replies >30 >can't move out of living with mom >rental crisis has made it virtually impossible to find own place >"share houses" have job interview type things designed to sniff out autists it's f------ over. I'm trapped in this womb until she dies and then i'll kill myself View Thread

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reddit greentext greentext memes 4chan 4chan memes /r/greentext

Origin Entry: Greentext Stories

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HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING /v/? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Crro Lack

Anonymous (ID: 31kpyf2g) I f------ hate these people 07/11/21(Sun)21:52:59 No.329597517 1d Amen. As a Democract, I worry about us allowing our cities to become wastelands of homeless drug addicts. I am excited to move out to the suburbs because at least life will be pleasant out there, even if I have to live amongst the Republicans. I want to be able to go for a walk without fear of attack. Do Democrats only care about the rights of antisocial drug addicted transients? I will never vote Republican, but I hate how us Dems don't have the courage to let the ends justify the means. 1625859701519m.jpg 110 KB JPG there is no political solution Anonymous (ID: ricZnDZD) >>329597517 (OP) # 07/11/21(Sun)21:55:23 No.329597743 >I recognize that my party doesn't have my best interests in mind >in fact, I can see that my party favors literal criminals over law abiding citizens >I have to literally pack my s--- up and move because my party ruined my home >I wont ever change the way I vote though Imao Democracy was a mistake >>329599805 # >>329600177 # >>329601081 #

34 KB JPG >Be born in 1949 >Don't have to fight in a war >Be 20 years old in time for the summer of '69 >Pick up some ridiculous 11/10 who's hitchhiking to Woodstock in my Plymouth Roadrunner I bought after working a summer job for a month >She's immediately into me because she's from a small town and I'm the only man in her life who's not her father or brother >Bring her home and marry her >Go to get a job, hired off the street with no experience and get trained >Buy 10 acres of land for less than what I make in a year >rent out my land for decades >retire and sit around house all day looking at my collection of boats and cars I never use Kids today just don't understand hard work and pulling themselves up by their bootstraps

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Anon can't get a gf | /r/Greentext

I did everything women told me to : And I did everything women told me(...) 169 KB JPG 02/24/24(Sat) 19:41:20 No.76569843 balding yet) >do this for 4 years, every day, as if I'm meeting the one today >in those 4 years not a single girl has expressed interest in me >not a single girl "friend" has "saw me that way" if I expressed interest. : Anonymous >be 18 >go to college >shower daily >have a skin care routine >brush and floss my teeth religiously >always wear clean and fitting clothes >get a haircut every 3 weeks (not >when I would hangout with girls at college and try to escalate they'd recoil 3.43 MB WEBM 02/24/24(Sat) 19:58:40 No.76570000 >>76569843 (OP) # looks like its time to SEAmaxx bro

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Anon is critiquing nostalgically. | /r/Greentext

imgflip.com Duug Waker here Anonymous 02/28/24(Wed)23:44:31 No.914635023 ► >Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to! >Let's talk about Aaron Bushnell's suicide video. >In the world of gore, it can be quite difficult to get your video noticed. >Between the Mexican cartels and Chinese industrial accidents, first-world people are often left under-represented. >Which is why I'm here to talk about Aaron Bushnell! >His immaculate self-immolation took the internet by a firestrom when he decided to roast himself so hard nothing the internet says or does could hurt him anymore. >This man had the foresight to record his suicide in such a manner that it could be enjoyed by generations gore fans to come. >I have no doubt this will be counted among the classics like Ronnie McNutt and Funky Town sooner rather than later. >I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and may no one roast you as hard as Aaron Bushnell was!

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Anon watched too much Shogun | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 209 KB JPG 02/29/24(Thu)09:22:37 No.20253234 Least psychotic meal in feudal Japan >the Shogun sends you a message saying he will eat with you >he arrives the next month with 50 servants and retainers >first round of drinks is three bowls of sake >second round of drinks is three bowls of sake >third round of drinks is three bowls of sake >you haven't eaten anything yet >pass around dried chestnuts and abalone >you aren't allowed to eat them >you have to pretend to eat them and just put it in your pocket when no one is looking >you can eat some chilled barley noodles >banquet begins >you get three trays of food >you aren't allowed to touch it until the shogun does >eat rice first. eat some soup. then eat rice. then eat soup. >now you are allowed to eat the food >just kidding >there's a taxidermied bird full of roast meat. you can't eat it >there a bunch of abalone decorated with beautiful paper. you can't eat that either >there are 32 dishes of beautiful and elaborately prepared food which you are not allowed to eat >you can eat the soup and the pickled vegetables and maybe some raw fish >you have to pay for all this >you are broke >the Shogun takes your land and levies a 3000% tax on your city >mfw

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seething anon rages at atheists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: hnjwOFID) I 914 KB JPG 02/29/24(Thu)09:40:04 No.19695796 atheist tiny white p----- cuckold when bad thing happen: NOT THE >WAAAAAA^^^^^^^^AAAH!!!!!!! WHY DID GOD LET THAT HECKIN HAPPEN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! HECKIN CHILDRENERINO WHY DID GOD KILL THEM???WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! NOT MY HECKIN TOEY-INO WHY DID GOD MAKE ME STUB MY TOEY-INO??? WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! WHY DID GOD TAKE MY MOMMYRINO AWAY WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! WHY DOES GOD LE LET GENOCIDES AND LE MASS MURDERS HAPPEN || WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

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Thank you Duug, very cool | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Duug Waker here 02/29/24(Thu)04:44:31 No.914635023 67 KB JPG >Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to! >Let's talk about Aaron Bushnell's suicide video. >In the world of gore, it can be quite difficult to get your video noticed. >Between the Mexican cartels and Chinese industrial accidents, first-world people are often left under-represented. >Which is why I'm here to talk about Aaron Bushnell! >His immaculate self-immolation took the internet by a firestrom when he decided to roast himself so hard nothing the internet says or does could hurt him anymore. >This man had the foresight to record his suicide in such a manner that it could be enjoyed by generations gore fans to come. >I have no doubt this will be counted among the classics like Ronnie McNutt and Funky Town sooner rather than later. >I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and may no one roast you as hard as Aaron Bushnell was!

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Anon couldnt get a refund, decided to do this instead | /r/Greentext

Alright 4chin time for a real story >be on long road trip >15 passenger van >all iphones >everyone >be only one with android 157 KB GIF >everyone's batteries dying >all iphones die first >my phone finally falls >hear voice say "Having an android isn't so great anymore is it" >don't even say anything back >pull out wallet >wallet has spare battery >change battery in front of everyone on f----- bus >theirfaceswhen.gif >f--- around on phone rest of trip >apple f------ asking to use superior device >deny everyone >finally arrive at destination >everyone whipping out chargers >sit there with smirk and 73% battery >everyone butthurt and won't talk to me And that's how I lost all my friends

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Anon is tired | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Current state 11 KB JPG 02/27/24(Tue)21:14:41 No.914581197 >be me >straight >have hot steamy gay sex with a dude

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Anon never saw it coming | /r/Greentext

8 LOO Anonymous (ID: LFqSsx91) 10/15/12/(Mon)20:49:40 UTC-7 No.430909276! >1 am >browsing for p--- >having a hard time finding something good >been fapping for almost an hour >find video of 10/10 goddess giving joi >tells me how to fap >isn't a w---- about it >slow and sensual >voice is f------ velvet >teases me >doesn't give me permission to c-- until she says so >ohgodfuckyes >worried that this video will get ruined by her saying something stupid and whorey >doesn't >she's a f------ goddess >gives me a countdown of when i get to c-- >ohgodicantholdit >please get to 1 >stops at two to tease me >ohgodpleaseletmecum >pulls her mask off >it's bill f------ murray >"no one will ever believe you. now b------------- for me you f------ piggy" >best orgasm of my life

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Is it over for Anon? | /r/Greentext

256 KB JPG >started Muay Thai at age 33 >kids half my age whoop my ass >feel pathetic for even trying >reminded that this follows the pattern for literally everything in my life: "this would've been cool 10 or 15 years ago, but now it looks pathetic " I feel like one of those idiots who missed the bus, then proceeds to sprint after it like that will change anytime. Those kids must be mocking me behind my back, I'm just that pathetic boomer who shows up to get beaten up by children and adolescents. I really enjoy this, but it also confronts me with the finality of my failure. It's like a livershot for my soul that makes me want to eat a hook that just f------ kills me. It's not over, it just never began. I missed the last bus and I'm pretending a next one comes while the crack fiends surround me and pull out their shanks. If I could see myself from the outside, I'd laugh my ass off.

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Anon drives | /r/Greentext

>be me >have constant left-right disorientation >18 y/o >take driving test >driving instructor tells me to turn left >turn right >"I told you to turn left, Anon!" >"Well, the earth is round, so when I go right, I will eventually come out on the left side." >driving instructor chuckles >I pass the exam 28 KB JPG

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Anon seeks advice | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Help me with this girl 148 KB JPG 02/29/24(Thu)10:40:12 No.914648512 >be me >3rd year university student basically >Qt with attractive lips girl from 2nd year glances at me always >Ask guys about her and they tell me she's a bitch or like really bad girl >She is always with a friend girl of hers but when she's alone she's with a guy but she always makes eye contact with me > She tries desperately to get my attention but i just walk away >Ask my friend about her and he tells me she's a bitch again >She always glances to me 278 KB JPG Now this girl i know she's a bitch but i feel like she's kind of f----- or really misunderstood i mean i don't have savior complex but like really i could do it the Taxi driver way and tell her "i always feel like you're lonely here and you want somebody" and make her feel unique right? But still she might want to f--- and sadly i don't have anywhere to go and i don't have that many social circle friends and i'll probably f--- up at first week and i'll just be a laughing stock whenenever i pass by. What do you think guys : Anonymous 02/29/24(Thu)10:47:50 No.914648822 taking dating tips from Taxi Driver You love to see it

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The Boonies are scary | /r/Greentext

8:18 80% Anonymous 7 days ago 19128469 Worked at Long Johns in high school and outside the deaths of loved ones it was the most traumatic experience of my life. >rats, mice, roaches they'd fall into the fryers and our manager/owner would tell us to scoop em out and toss em >oil wasn't replaced often, maybe once a month >mold in soda machine >one of the senior cooks was a developmentally disabled guy; cool dude but prone to violent outbursts, racial epithets, self-harm, threats, with a grade school education >no idea who took care of him or how he even got to work, he was just there when I'd arrive and he always stayed late >maybe manager's pet, no f------ idea >he'd also grope the female employees (all of whom quit because I'd tell them it wasn't safe for them) >was also at the outskirts of town and there was a cleaner, better one near the city center so no excuse to even go to ours >but we had regulars and I just kept my head down, tried to keep things clean, avoided the retarded cook as much as I could, and never ate there >go to work one day after school >lights are on, can see the fryers are on, but the doors are locked and nobody is answering my knocks or the phone inside >manager's has a regular window, decide to see if I can open it from the outside >the fryers were going, place could burn down >get to the window, see my manager f------ the retard on the floor of his office >get spooked, but in my hurry I up some gravel and s--- kicked Decided to go back an hour later. It's really tense. Get through my shift and I'm helping the retard close. He's turning off the fryers, I walk by him to start counting off the register and he just dunks his head right into the oil. His skin slid right off his face and neck and the worst part is he doesn't even scream, he just making this god awful gargling sound like he's swallowed two lungs of water. Called 9/11. I never went back. Never asked for my last paycheck. Took me a year to even tell somebody else what happened and I still smell and hear the moment. 16 REPLIES 1 19128520 Anonymous 6 days ago F2E522C6-6EEE-485A-BDD9-29CCE67561FB.png (1,015.2

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Greentext Stories - Suffer like the rest of us Anon | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 1011 KB GIF 02/29/24(Thu)16:37:19 No.76624756 9 Replies >30 >can't move out of living with mom >rental crisis has made it virtually impossible to find own place >"share houses" have job interview type things designed to sniff out autists it's f------ over. I'm trapped in this womb until she dies and then i'll kill myself View Thread

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