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the toilets are absolutely amazing | History Memes
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History Memes - the toilets are absolutely amazing | History Memes
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![what people think Machiavelli's scheming was like Machiavelli's scheming: ment of Florence. The officers of the Florentine Art of Wool also requested him to secure for them a Lenten preacher.] [A preacher for Florence; the comedy of business] Magnificent Sir, Ruler to be Most Respected: I was on the privy-seat when your messenger came, and just then I was thinking of the absurdities of this world; I was giving all my attention to imagining for myself a preacher to my taste for the place at Florence, and he would be just what would please me, because in this I intend to be obstinate as in my other opinions. And be- cause I never failed that city by not benefiting her when I could, if not with deeds, with words, if not with words, with gestures, I do not intend to fail her this time either. It is true that I know I am opposed, as in many other things, to the opinion of the citizens there: they would like a preacher who would show them the road to Paradise, and I should like to find one who would teach them the way to go to the house of the Devil; they would like, besides, that he should be a man prudent, blameless, and true; and I should like to find one crazier than Ponzo, more crafty than Fra Girolamo, more of a hypocrite than Frate Alberto,¹ because it would seem to me a fine thing, and worthy of the goodness of these times, that all we have experienced in many friars should be experienced in one, because I be- lieve the true way of going to Paradise would be to learn the road to Hell in order to avoid it. Seeing, besides this, how much credit a bad man has who conceals himself under the cloak of religion, I can easily conjecture how much of it a good man would have who in truth and not in pretense continued to tread muddy places like St. Francis. So since my fancy seemed to me good, I have planned to Ponzo is unknown; Fra Girolamo is Savonarola; Frate Alberto is from the Decameron 4.2 choose Rovaio, and I believe that if he is like his brothers and sisters, he will be just right. I should be glad if, next time you write, you will give me your opinion. I continue in idleness here because I cannot carry out my commission until the general and the assessors are chosen, and I keep ruminating on how I can sow so much discord among them that either here or elsewhere they may start hitting each other with their sandals; and if I do not lose my wits, I believe I am going to succeed; and I believe that the advice and help of Your Lordship would assist greatly. So if you would come as far as here, as a pleasure jaunt, it would not be a bad thing, or at least by writing suggest some master strokes; because if you once every day would send me a servant just for this purpose, as you have to- day, you would do several good things: for one, you would give me light on some things quite to my purpose; for another, you would make me more esteemed by those in the house, seeing the messages come thick. And I can tell you that on the arrival of this arbalester with the letter, and making a bow down to the earth, and with his saying that he was sent specially and in haste, everybody rose up with so many signs of respect and such a noise that everything was turned upsidedown, and I was asked by several about the news; and I, that its reputation might grow, said that the Emperor was expected at Trent, and that the Swiss had summoned new diets, and that the King of France wanted to go in person to speak with that king. but that his councilors advised him against it; so that they all stood with open mouths and with their caps in their hands; and while I write I have a circle of them around me, and seeing me write at length they are astonished, and look on me as inspired; and I, to make them wonder more, some- times hold my pen still and swell up, and then they slaver at the mouth; but if they could see what I am writing, they would marvel at it more. Your Lordship knows that these](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/945/058/ee4.png "500 years of academic efforts to prove Machiavelli wasn't actually an evil trickster vs Machiavelli shitposting and brainstorming pranks from his toilet seat | History Memes")
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