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I wrote down my criteria for evaluating Tinder profiles, so that I don't need to think when I swipe. The following make me instantly discard you. > age is under 20 or over 36 > distance is over 90 km > there are no pictures > none of the pictures feature people > all of the pictures use decorative or animal-face filters > pictures depict intimacy with other people > is overweight or underweight > has large tattoos > has prominent piercings > has green or blue hair > is bald > has dreadlocks > has breast or lip implants > wears clown makeup > dresses like a w---- > poses in sexually suggestive ways > has children > owns a pitbull > has herpes > is in an open relationship > is an asexual or has low libido > smokes > is an alcoholic > is a drug addict > describes herself as promiscuous > bio only mentions height > bio only advertises an Instagram account > bio mentions past relationships > bio talks positively about casual sex > bio uses child or chain emojis as hints > bio is not in one of the three languages I speak > is a criminal > travels for work > lives in another country > about to move abroad or into a rural area > only looking for short-term fun > passions include astrology or homeopathy > passions are limited to travel, drinking, shopping and fashion

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File: chainsaw man.jpg (100 KB, 1627x915) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:55:42 No.252911844 ►>>252911908 >>252914188 >>252914377 >>252916077 >>252919346 >>252919475 >>252920429 >>252921191 W--? >> Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)07:58:52 No.252911908 ►>>252913869 >>252913951 >>252914028 File: 06467EB6-9CF5-49FC-84A4-5(...).jpg (599 KB, 2730x4096) >>252911844 (OP) Denji could've got laid. He f----- up bad.. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)08:21:47 No.252912389 ► ok groomer Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:44:20 No.252913869 ▶>>252914047 >>252914093 >>252914100 >>252914125 >>252914134 >>252914294 >>252914315 >>252914527 >>252914536 >>252914582 >>252914605 >>252914643 >>252914670 >>252914680 >>252914780 >>252914811 >>252915009 >>252915019 >>252915216 >>252915260 >>252915280 >>252915315 >>252916087 >>252916275 >>252916436 >>252916516 >>252916539 >>252916565 >>252916569 >>252916574 >>252916659 >>252916737 >>252916787 >>252916802 >>252916842 >>252916974 >>252917020 >>252917066 >>252917095 >>252917156 >>252917166 >>252917201 >>252917265 >>252917325 >>252917490 >>252917497 >>252917507 >>252918071 >>252918109 >>252918460 >>252918543 >>252918601 >>252918806 >>252919082 >>252919137 >>252919328 >>252919382 >>252919432 >>>252919448 >>>252919457 >>252919510 >>252919544 >>252919551 >>252919576 >>252919615 >>252919616 >>252919650 >>252919702 >>252919759 >>252919779 >>252919804 >>252919882 >>252919944 >>252919980 >>252920003 >>252920030 >>252920106 >>252920276 >>252920335 >>252920347 >>252920412 >>252920415 >>252920494 >>252920535 >>252920577 >>252920610 >>252920647 >>252920712 >>252921030 >>252921081 >>252921110 >>252921138 >>252921146 >>252921257 >>252921392 >>252921415 >>252922113 >>252922329 >>252922635 >>252922833 >>252923296 >>252923418 >>252923492 >>252923792 >>252924120 >>252924150 >>252925598 >>252925778 >>252925795 >>252925980 >>252926106 >>252926146 >>252926234 >>252926278 >>252926350 >>252926563 >>252926620 >>252926624 >>252926689 >>252926756 >>252926764 >>252926876 >>252926911 >>252926918 >>252926925 >>252927034 >>252927073 >>252927110 >>252927127 >>252927301 >>252927310 >>252927461 >>252927677 >>252928003 >>252928114 >>252928431 >>252928442 >>252928498 >>252928709 >>252928848 >>252928958 >>252929393 >>252929964 >>252930095 >>252930514 >>252930728 >>252930740 >>252930886 >>252930911 >>252931013 >>252931111 >>252931128 >>252931382 >>252931493 >>252911908 losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one Donaustk € 12, kwĐH T• MAZD ALİH PF 12. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:58:27 No.252914093 ► >>252913869 brother what Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:20:41 No.252915260▸ File: doomer Zoomer.png (802 KB, 720x720) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)09:55:23 No.252914047 ► e: 1266667790002282.jpg (134 KB, 1234x521) >>252913869 >losing your virginity to the office slut is like eating the last balloon at a wedding as in, only have you in if only one >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:59:10 No.252920412 ► >>252913869 This is a certified 4chan moment Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:15:48 No.252919432 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:57:35 No.252916842 ► e: b81.png (264 KB, 474x377) File: 1495908995260.jpg (78 KB, 1280×720) >>252913869 >>252913869 at last I truly see Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)13:25:28 No.252917325 ► File: i kneel.jpg (86 KB, 405x720) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:47:49 N File: file.png (178 KB, 404x489) my f------ sides best post all day i kneel >>252913869 >t. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:13:15 No.252927301 ► File: it's so over.png (816 KB, 1121x673) >>252913869 My sides Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:33:58 No.252914670 ► File: 1683785740614529.jpg (30 KB, 567x496) >>252913869 Damn, this post really mindbroken everyone Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)10:44:57 No.252914811 ► File: 1674008914715180.jpg (29 KB, 680x504) >>252913869 Never have I seen a sentiment conveyed through nonsense with such clarity before. A true modern poet. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:27:55 No.252919702 ► File: 1235316161e7427.png (161 KB, 774x788) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:43:30 No.252926278 ► >>252913869 ESLkun... >>252913869 >The most sane CSM fan Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:56:05 No.252920335 ►>>252920351 File: 1681220115757034.jpg (95 KB, 1200x1200) >>252913869 Anon bravely dying of a stroke to shitpost one last time. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:30:34 No.252919759► File: 1667874544032923.png (42 KB, 289x256) >>252913869 XXXX Anonymous UCDAZZJIVYOCHT_42:16 No.2021 20224 IC: JUS_405_4.129 [12 <1, 300 Audinous 1024/2004; 004:20 > 2225 4000 desale Zaroor A 7841 IN It's because that man's arguments are so right that they leave no room for debate. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:41:19 No.252916516 ► File: 1679679759269336.jpg (9 KB, 302x225) >>252913869 >thread doesnt eat their balloons at a wedding Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:24:07 No.252923296▸ File: 1682955308164217.jpg (85 KB, 415x375) >>252913869 I HATE THIS i am extreme dissapoint *forced smile Are you allright anon? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:26:44 No.252923418 ► File: Interrogation_mark.jpg (266 KB, 659x932) >>252913869 Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)11:33:23 No.252915435 ►>>252916020 >>252916057 >>252926173 I just want to know who in the hell eats balloons Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)15:20:59 No.252919551► e: 1683274551527799.jpg (22 KB, 800x450) Neory BonCINII VA; CDT > < = >>252913869 >only have you in if only one Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:26:01 No.252921146 ► 4148bc178917d22bf0a75c7d3(...).png (2.97 MB, 2508x3541) >>252913869 This feels like an eldritch being is trying to communicate and spread its wisdom on thots. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:51:26 No.252926563 ► File: 1628025425644.png (86 KB, 250x250) >>252913869 Holy f--- I missed these kind of posts. Thanks anon. "cb1100 "PRETEND" ? Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)19:06:55 No.252927073 ► File: 1616620564086.png (506 KB, 709x708) He is speaking the language of gods. >>252913869 beautiful I-I DON'T KNOW! JUST... PRETEND TO BE RETARDED OR SOMETHING! Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:06:02 No.252920577 ►>>252920932 >>252913869 Confused reaction image farmpost Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)17:36:25 No.252923792 ► File: 1680879053748926.jpg (87 KB, 644x954) >>252913869 Funniest s--- ive all week Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)16:02:20 No. File: 1647832313112.png (236 KB, 405x560) >>252913869 We got it all wrong. Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)12:55:51 No.252916802 ► File: 1676938237963971.jpg (285 KB, 1711x1108) >>252913869 put me in the screenie weenie

Inaqar 137 KB JPG land you protect 12/24/23(Sun)09:54:58 No.91319497 >skilled warriors seen as the main bulwark against dark forces >sons of powerful and intelligent beings of legend >follow the teachings of a golden, almighty Master who created the >sometimes have powers such as shooting fire, lighting, shockwaves, blasts of ice or energy >wield some of the most powerful weapons around >battle beastly green enemies, awakened soulless armies, spirits, undead, malicious versions of yourselves, daemonic forces, and the literal embodiments of evil >wear bright colors to sell plastic toys >be the Ninja from Lego Ninjago: Masters of Spinjitzu >pic unrelated

Anonymous 10/26/13(Sat) 19:06 No.215457549 File: 1382828761196.jpg-(42 KB, 480x480, 1353212900339.jpg) >My dads face when >"Well have fun" >leaves room >Playing Silent Hill 3 >at the end >dad walks in >"Hey son, what you playing?" >Heather regurgitates a fetus >the other girl picks it up and shoves in his mouth >"I WILL BIRTH THE GOD"

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Elon prima donna | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat) 13:03:18 No.208855720 >Watching Iron Man 2 >This guy shows up Anonymous >>208855720 (OP) # maxresdefault (13).jpg 233 KB JPG >paying to be in movies 02/22/25(Sat) 13:04:54 No.208855743 how neglected was he as a child that he NEEDS affirmation from random people this much? Imagine being one of the richest man on the planet and you still having a burning desire to please people on the internet.

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Pick up your bootstraps anon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/12/25(Wed)01:09:37 No.24181088 There is no reason whatsoever to take anti-natalists seriously. >F--- you, mom and dad! I didn't ask to be born! Nobody did. If you're so miserable, off yourself. >But that would hurt my loved ones! Who f------ cares, f-----. It's your life. You're self- aggrandizing like you're undertaking some Herculean task by sticking around, pretending you're being VIRTUOUS for putting yourself second place. I have never met a happy and fulfilled anti-natalist. Life is fiery with its beauty and there are so many wonderful mysteries. It's not everyone else's fault you are too blind to see it. >>24181101 # >>24181114 # >>24181968 # Anonymous >>24181088 # 02/12/25(Wed)01:17:10 No.24181101 Wonderful mystery of being r---- by Pakis at 12.. Thank you, optimism-sama Anonymous >be average American >decide to have a baby 02/12/25(Wed)01:17:36 No.24181102 >turns into a huge resource drain >healthcare f---- you >insurance f---- you >the government f---- you >mom and dad are now shackled to a life of indentured servitude called employment >will never climb out of debt >have another baby >expenses creep up so you work even more >tell everyone how great being a parent is >barely see your kids >they resent you because they were raised by government institutions >wife is now an obese diabetic with shingles on her c--- flaps >one child will never leave home because you were too f------ stupid to teach them anything >the other is doomed to repeat the cycle >you raise your hand >careful not to knock over TV remote >you wipe off the drool and raising canes sauce from one of your chins >"yeah it was hard but it was worth it."

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PlayStation®5 | /r/Greentext

true monster hunter world fans.webm (210 KB, 480x580) google yandex iqdb wait title Boss: "it's ok take the day off, I hope you feel better soon" *ends call* PS5: *beep* Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat)12:24:29 No.703659617 ▼ >>703659720 >>703662717 >>703665549 >>703674404 >>703676632 >>703677332 >>703678758 >>703681148 >>703686658 Only true gamers and monster hunter world veterans will understand Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat)12:26:19 No.703659720 >>703659906 >>703660214 >>703660324 >>703660481 >>703660589 >>703660591 >>703661384 >>703661470 >>703661909 >>703662369 >>703662461 >>703662483 >>703663276 >>703663723 >>703663749 >>703663908 >>703663927 >>703663960 >>703663995 >>703664263 >>703665094 >>703665159 >>703665194 >>703665368 >>703665404 >>703665489 >>703665573 >>703666347 >>703666476 >>703666598 >>703666895 >>703667006 >>703667197 >>703667601 >>703667703 >>703671341 >>703671421 >>703674486 >>703674526 >>703674659 >>703674839 >>703675237 >>703675286 >>703675752 >>703675957 >>703676103 >>703676882 >>703676895 >>703676920 >>703677154 >>703677219 >>703677245 >>703677327 >>703677371 >>703677374 >>703677391 >>703677395 >>703677510 >>703677703 >>703677757 >>703677860 >>703677935 >>703678087 >>703678412 >>703678578 >>703678632 >>703678818 >>703679006 >>703679265 >>703679586 >>703679656 >>703679803 >>703679815 >>703679958 >>703680104 >>703680349 >>703680605 >>703680678 >>703680797 >>703681148 >>703682750 >>703682956 >>703683219 >>703683501 >>703683574 >>703683601 >>703684049 >>703684107 >>703684743 >>703684913 >>703685414 >>703685418 >>703685510 >>703685689 >>703685914 >>703685971 >>703686534 >>703686540 >>703686824 >>703686895 >>703686953 >>703687786 >>703688048 >>703688308 >>703689173 >>703689372 >>703689810 >>703689838 >>703659617 (OP) >"it's ok, take the day off" >PS5: *beep* >"oh, is that your PS5? well, i know that doesn't have games, so get well soon" >*ends call*

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Anon takes the day off | /r/Greentext

File: true monster hunter world fans.webm (210 KB, 480x580) google yandex iqdb wait Boss: "it's ok take the day off, I hope you feel better soon" *ends call* PS5: *heep* Anonymous 02/21/25(Fri)23:24:29 No.703659617 [1] [Reply] >>703686658 >>703659720 >>703662717 >>703665549 >>703674404 >>703676632 >>703677332 >>703678758 >>703681148 Only true gamers and monster hunter world veterans will understand - 171 posts and 56 image replies shown. Anonymous 02/21/25(Fri)23:26:19 No.703659720 >>703686824 >>703686895 >>703659906 >>703660214 >>703660324 >>703660481 >>703660589 >>703660591 >>703661384 >>703661470 >>703661909 >>703662369 >>703662461 >>703662483 >>703663276 >>703663723 >>703663749 >>703663908 >>703663927 >>703663960 >>703663995 >>703664263 >>703665094 >>703665159 >>703665194 >>703665368 >>703665404 >>703665489 >>703665573 >>703666347 >>703666476 >>703666598 >>703666895 >>703667006 >>703667197 >>703667601 >>703667703 >>703671341 >>703671421 >>703674486 >>703674526 >>703674659 >>703674839 >>703675237 >>703675286 >>703675752 >>703675957 >>703676103 >>703676882 >>703676895 >>703676920 >>703677154 >>703677219 >>703677245 >>703677327 >>703677371 >>703677374 >>703677391 >>703677395 >>703677510 >>703677703 >>703677757 >>703677860 >>703677935 >>703678087 >>703678412 >>703678578 >>703678632 >>703678818 >>703679006 >>703679265 >>703679586 >>703679656 >>703679803 >>703679815 >>703679958 >>703680104 >>703680349 >>703680605 >>703680678 >>703680797 >>703681148 >>703682750 >>703682956 >>703683219 >>703683501 >>703683574 >>703683601 >>703684049 >>703684107 >>703684743 >>703684913 >>703685414 >>703685418 >>703685510 >>703685689 >>703685914 >>703685971 >>703686534 >>703686540 >>703686953 >>703659617 (OP). >"it's ok, take the day off" >PS5: *beep* >"oh, is that your PS5? well, i know that doesn't have games, so get well soon" >*ends call*

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The anons disagree with op anon | /r/Greentext

Ar. Snow White is now a...hot latina? Snow White is now a...hot lati(...) >>208828183 (OP) # >Hot Kill yourself >hot Imao 02/21/25(Fri) 06:42:54 No.208828183 Snowbrown. >>208828183 (OP) # >hot Lord Farquaad looking cube headed bitch >>208828183 (OP) # >Hot Her eyes are so far apart she can see behind her

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Anon you're a fucking freeloader stop being a bitch | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous How to get out of the control 177 KB PNG 02/22/25(Sat)20:03:28 No.80433340 >went to uni near my home >parents just thought I am made of free time now >demanded me to eat at home every day >brings me to their retarded boomer meetings whenever I have a millisecond of free time >could barely do my homework and projects because I have to sit at aunt Gertrude's 85th birthday party and wait until they are satisfied >when I asked them if I could f--- off from them they say no, and if I just ignore them they will just dial my number over and over >can't cut off because they helped me pay off my student debts and I am an actual decent person who loves my parents >barely had any time to make friends, go to clubs and form connections because I have to go to my mom's friends' stupid cookouts >got a mediocre score and end up friendless on uni in my first year >parents started blaming me for "not working hard enough" and kept pressuring me day and night Oh Jesus f------ christ.....I wonder why? View Thread

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Anon Hates Jack Reacher | /r/Greentext

File: 15776908.jpg (258 KB, 1131x997) ☐ Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat)12:21:53 No.208845945 ►>>208845979 >>208845992 >>208846293 >>208846459 >>208846746 >>208846775 >>208846832 >>208846977 >>208847077 >>208847101 >>208847251 >>208847348 >>208847655 >>208847742 >>208848702 >>208848842 >>208848919 >>208848930 >>208849192 >>208849610 >>208850194 >>208850904 >>208850918 >>208851561 >>208851651 >>208851654 >homeless drifter who never works out but is somehow absurdly jacked, and also knows everything and is smarter than everyone and has a cool line for every situation How do people watch this crap? ☐ Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat) 12:27:47 No.208846084 >>208846944 >>208847045 >>208847774 >>208848946 >>208849445 File: kwab.png (40 KB, 861x200) Reacher star Alan Ritchson recounts being sexually assaulted by 'famous photographer' when he was a model >homeless ex-military drifter not so tough after being r---- ☐ Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat) 13:01:54 No.208846775 ►>>208847251 >>208848198>>208848547 >>208848942 File: 6486864.png (169 KB, 470x488) I watched this slop. He literally says "Black Lives Matter" at one point while executing a working class white person. Oilfield Rando @Oilfield_Rando - 9h "What are you gonna do, Reacher?" "I'm gonna show them what happens when they stop funding gender affirming care in Guatemala" x.com/wadestotts/sta... 3:44 PM - Feb 21, 2025-447.9K Views 194 379 10K ☐ 525 >>208845945 (OP) Is this true? ☐ Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat) 13:41:34 No.208847655 ► >>208845945 (OP) Has he had a mental breakdown from the roid abuse yet ☐ Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat) 13:48:05 No.208847774 ► >>208846084 >that photographer? Albert Einstein ☐ Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat) 14:47:35 No.208848942 ►>>208850515 >>208851707 >>208846775 twitter is genuinely funnier than this s------- now ☐ Anonymous 02/22/25(Sat) 14:47:50 No.208848946 ► >>208846084 Jack Reacherround

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Art of the deal | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 0Pz+6tH0) E 02/22/25(Sat) 17:50:30 No.498263766 NO. I INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER TRUMP THE ART OF THE DEAL DONALD J. TRUMP with TONY SCHWARTZ 9781524796525_1.jpg 40 KB JPG >Just unconditionally surrender.

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Anon is a dreamer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous There's still hope. 153 KB JPG 06/29/22(Wed)23:22:07 No.69234605 >be Filthy Frank >gradually develop legitimate performing career >scrub the internet of old shitposts as best as possible >become Joji >eventually people forget about Frank >gain increasing fame and fortune >performing one night in packed coliseum >crowd is losing their minds to see Joji sing >come out on stage in pinkguy costume >stage is decorated to look like Frank's old apartment >start performing all the hits from the Filthy Frank days >"I eat ass", "Finna bust a nut", "Peanut butter on my balls, let the dog lick it", all the hits >joined on stage by the old crew >audience is in tears of shock and sadness >turns out Joji was just the setup for the ultimate trolling of normies >he got 'em one last time

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Total Chud victory | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Bros, we won again. 02/21/25(Fri)17:17:15 No.703610032 Avowed > Avowed Gameplay Discussion > Topic Details Todd 6 hours ago 13 Racist bigotry won again. Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Does your day feel that little bit better knowing a great developer comprised of hard-working folks is going to likely be shut down over this? All because you can't whack off to 'ugly' character designs and cry about 'woke' games all the time. Get the memo: this game wasn't for you in the first place. The author of this topic has marked a post as the answer to their question. Click here to jump to that post. Avowed admits he lost. lol.png 824 KB PNG

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Why does everyone say that everything is bait (not a joke)? More in comments. | /r/Greentext

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Anon thinks 2015 game graphics are better. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/19/25(Wed)20:34:41 No.703451951 PARKING batman-arkham-knight-pc-playstation-4-xbox-one_231532.jpg 339 KB JPG How come current year videogames look worse than games from 2015?

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Greentext Stories - Anon wants to find a date but has criterias | /r/Greentext

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

I wrote down my criteria for evaluating Tinder profiles, so that I don't need to think when I swipe. The following make me instantly discard you. > age is under 20 or over 36 > distance is over 90 km > there are no pictures > none of the pictures feature people > all of the pictures use decorative or animal-face filters > pictures depict intimacy with other people > is overweight or underweight > has large tattoos > has prominent piercings > has green or blue hair > is bald > has dreadlocks > has breast or lip implants > wears clown makeup > dresses like a w---- > poses in sexually suggestive ways > has children > owns a pitbull > has herpes > is in an open relationship > is an asexual or has low libido > smokes > is an alcoholic > is a drug addict > describes herself as promiscuous > bio only mentions height > bio only advertises an Instagram account > bio mentions past relationships > bio talks positively about casual sex > bio uses child or chain emojis as hints > bio is not in one of the three languages I speak > is a criminal > travels for work > lives in another country > about to move abroad or into a rural area > only looking for short-term fun > passions include astrology or homeopathy > passions are limited to travel, drinking, shopping and fashion

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