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The Eligible Bachelor "Fluent in sarcasm," my bio declares. "A partner in crime," a big to ensnare. Here are my biceps, check out my glutes. Spelling and grammar-couldn't give two hoots. Here is my niece, not my secret child, To detract from the pics where I'm hammered and high. Motorcycles, cigarettes and pills, All things I love, plus my Netflix & chills. Here's me surrounded by buddies galore, Just like "Where's Waldo?" I'm the eyesore. I'm going to France, you gotta come with, Damn the plane's booked-come to the gym. Ethical non-monogamy is my life, I've just got to get around to telling my wife. I hope you like kink, and an alpha male- I'm freaky in bed when Viagra's not stale. I'm a skydiver, weightlifter, runner, and hiker Mountain climber, camel rider, monk and a biker. You better keep up because I am no joke I'm one more activity away from a stroke. I'm tall if you're decent, don't wear stilettos, My ego intact, we avoid armageddon. And don't be a pen pal-I want to meet My bedroom, at midnight, your sexy feet. If you don't like plan A, I've got plan B- Walk in 5 degree weather, freezing with me. I'd buy you a coffee, but I don't have my wallet I donated to Red Cross when somebody stole it. I'm willing to travel, I'll move in tomorrow, My mother approves-she says I'm a horror. But I'm a really nice guy, we just finish last- at least in relationships, not in the bed. Look at my abs as I hold my big fish, I hope you're halfway ready for a steamy tryst. Just one more thing to add to my allure- I happen to be an entrepreneur.

A poetic tribute to every cliche dating profile. | Bumble


Uploaded by Reddit Moments Feb 23, 2025 at 04:00PM EST

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Origin Entry: Bumble

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Jm's Opening Move What made you swipe right? Yesterday your lips Delivered Today Damn, straightforward It would look better on you Haha!
iMessage Today 23:12 Hey, so to answer you. I really enjoyed the night yesterday. I would like to see you again, I would just like to know a little bit where would you like this to go ideally? :) I wasn't sure if you enjoyed the time with me, wasn't sure if I bored you.
Bumble New here 28 20 My bio me n my bestie wanna take turns seeing who can make u finish first. if u like a little S:faithcrta competition, u're already our type Send a Compliment 0
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Bumble - A poetic tribute to every cliche dating profile. | Bumble

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Uploaded Feb 23, 2025 at 04:00PM EST

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Bumble

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Reddit

Tags

dating, online dating, app dating, application, reddit

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