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The Eligible Bachelor "Fluent in sarcasm," my bio declares. "A partner in crime," a big to ensnare. Here are my biceps, check out my glutes. Spelling and grammar-couldn't give two hoots. Here is my niece, not my secret child, To detract from the pics where I'm hammered and high. Motorcycles, cigarettes and pills, All things I love, plus my Netflix & chills. Here's me surrounded by buddies galore, Just like "Where's Waldo?" I'm the eyesore. I'm going to France, you gotta come with, Damn the plane's booked-come to the gym. Ethical non-monogamy is my life, I've just got to get around to telling my wife. I hope you like kink, and an alpha male- I'm freaky in bed when Viagra's not stale. I'm a skydiver, weightlifter, runner, and hiker Mountain climber, camel rider, monk and a biker. You better keep up because I am no joke I'm one more activity away from a stroke. I'm tall if you're decent, don't wear stilettos, My ego intact, we avoid armageddon. And don't be a pen pal-I want to meet My bedroom, at midnight, your sexy feet. If you don't like plan A, I've got plan B- Walk in 5 degree weather, freezing with me. I'd buy you a coffee, but I don't have my wallet I donated to Red Cross when somebody stole it. I'm willing to travel, I'll move in tomorrow, My mother approves-she says I'm a horror. But I'm a really nice guy, we just finish last- at least in relationships, not in the bed. Look at my abs as I hold my big fish, I hope you're halfway ready for a steamy tryst. Just one more thing to add to my allure- I happen to be an entrepreneur.

A poetic tribute to every cliche dating profile. | Bumble


Uploaded by Reddit Moments Feb 23, 2025 at 04:00PM EST

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Origin Entry: Bumble

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My bio Not like other girls. I love to travel, eat sushi, drink martinis, and be active Send a Compliment
R, 46 0 About me She sells sea shells on the sea shore Dene ka bhaav bolo... | 127 characters left A
Jm's Opening Move What made you swipe right? Yesterday your lips Delivered Today Damn, straightforward It would look better on you Haha!
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Bumble - A poetic tribute to every cliche dating profile. | Bumble

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The Eligible Bachelor "Fluent in sarcasm," my bio declares. "A partner in crime," a big to ensnare. Here are my biceps, check out my glutes. Spelling and grammar-couldn't give two hoots. Here is my niece, not my secret child, To detract from the pics where I'm hammered and high. Motorcycles, cigarettes and pills, All things I love, plus my Netflix & chills. Here's me surrounded by buddies galore, Just like "Where's Waldo?" I'm the eyesore. I'm going to France, you gotta come with, Damn the plane's booked-come to the gym. Ethical non-monogamy is my life, I've just got to get around to telling my wife. I hope you like kink, and an alpha male- I'm freaky in bed when Viagra's not stale. I'm a skydiver, weightlifter, runner, and hiker Mountain climber, camel rider, monk and a biker. You better keep up because I am no joke I'm one more activity away from a stroke. I'm tall if you're decent, don't wear stilettos, My ego intact, we avoid armageddon. And don't be a pen pal-I want to meet My bedroom, at midnight, your sexy feet. If you don't like plan A, I've got plan B- Walk in 5 degree weather, freezing with me. I'd buy you a coffee, but I don't have my wallet I donated to Red Cross when somebody stole it. I'm willing to travel, I'll move in tomorrow, My mother approves-she says I'm a horror. But I'm a really nice guy, we just finish last- at least in relationships, not in the bed. Look at my abs as I hold my big fish, I hope you're halfway ready for a steamy tryst. Just one more thing to add to my allure- I happen to be an entrepreneur.

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Uploaded Feb 23, 2025 at 04:00PM EST

Origin Entry

Bumble

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Reddit

Tags

dating, online dating, app dating, application, reddit

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