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WEARA CONDOM SERIOUSLY, DONT BE A F------ IDIOT, WEAR ONE.

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NEVER GIVE 100% AT A NEW JOB, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO MAINTAIN START SLOW, SO THAT ANY ADDITIONAL EFFORT IS SEEN AS IMPROVEMENT

WHEN YOU'RE GIVING CHANGE, DON'T TRY TO BALANCE THE COINS ON TOP OF THE BILLS COINS FIRST GIVE THE WHERE THE NATURAL CUP OF THE CUSTOMER'S HAND WILL KEEP THEM IN PLACE AND MAKE IKELY TO BE DROPPED THEM LESS

PREVENTS DYING OF OLD AGE

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Moar:

Thank you, Mallard

THE NIGHT BEFORE, PLACETHINGS YOUDONT WANT TO FORGET THENEXT MORNING ON TOP OF YOUR SHOES

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Canola Oil

USECANOLAOIL ON YOUR KNIFE BEFORE CUTTING AN ONION YOU WONT CRY

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CIRL+ SHIFT+ESC ONE HAND VERSION O CTRL ALT+DEL

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Closet

IFYOUIREACLOSETEDHOMOSEXUAL DON T RUN FOR OFFICE AS A REPUBLICAN

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DONT COUGH WITH SMOKE IN YOUR LUNGS. COUGHING OPENS UP BRONCHIAL VESSELS WHICH WILLBE FLOODED WITH SMOKE UPON COU GHING EKHALETHEN COUGH

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DONT LISTEN TO MALICIOUS ADVICE MALLARD

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Profits

LEGALIZEAND TAX MARIJUANA USETHEPROFITS FOR SPACE EXPLORATION

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USEHYDROGENPEROKIDE TOREMOVE BLOOD STAINS FROM LAUNDRY

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WHEN CLEANING A MIRROR USE A COFFEE FILTER INSTEAD OFAPAPER OR CLOTH TOWEL ITWILL NOT LEAVE ANY RESIDUE PARTICLES OR STREAKS.

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VIDEOBUFFERINGON YOUTUBE? PRESS THE UPARROW, IT WILL START A GAME OF SNAKE

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GET THE F------ THE COMPUTER

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VISIT R/LIFEHACKS AND R/LIFEPROTIPS

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+47

Actual Advice Mallard - Condom

PROTIP: Press the ← and → keys to navigate the gallery, 'g' to view the gallery, or 'r' to view a random image.

WEARA CONDOM SERIOUSLY, DONT BE A F------ IDIOT, WEAR ONE.

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Top Comments

Sunny Ng

Sunny Ng

Dec 03, 2012 at 10:13PM EST

What? As in right now? Surfing the net reading this?

…Okay!

+18

necroTaxonomist

necroTaxonomist

Jan 18, 2013 at 04:30PM EST

I see what you did there! A 'fucking' idiot, because it's during sex!

+8

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