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Half-Life 3 Confirmed - Image #564,627

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File 1345757247480 (50 KB. 600x765, portraiture-ofgaben_b.unideolor-d. ) Anonymous (D: DBsGNvbk) 08/23/12(Thu)1727 27 No.420753740 Be 2013 A few months before E3 Rumours that Valve are working overtime to complete a project For some reason they are also extending their ofices in Belvue Internet fanboys start jerking themselves off uncontrollably >Headcrab plushies turned into Beshlight fucktoys HL3, HL3, HL3 etc. Something big is happening E3 arrives Valve are ready to show Gaben lowered in by crane Fat jokes aside, hes grown. A lot New wing built to house his now unfathomably enormous girth. Filled with jelly and ice cream Takes 10 to catch his breath Opens his mouth Fills it with a sandwich. >Chews. Slow, calculated bites Looks every last person sitting in the auditorium in the eye. >One bite left >Half-Life 3 is to be released immedately, on sale - >Eats last bite >거ope was worth the wait." He smiles, then grimaces Last bite of sandwich has caused Gaben to reach cnitical mass >Starts to pulsate on stage. >People screaming >Begins to rise into the air and gently spin >Faster and faster >Auditorium begins to get shredded by the pull he is exerting. Chairs fly everywhere >Sudden implosion destroys half of Los Angeles >Gravity so intense that Gaben collapsed in on himself >Gaben is now a black hole. >We are his event horizon sTime runs so slowly now 1 hour takes 24 Death is effectively cured >You have time to do anything you have ever wanted HL3 scores 100 on metacnitic mfw we are all fnally nunning on Valve time Early predictions?

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Swedish Chef

Swedish Chef

Jun 21, 2013 at 08:15PM EDT

R.I.P Gaben, he died for our steam sales. (;_;)7

+15

Platus

Platus Moderator

Jun 22, 2013 at 06:56PM EDT

And my kindergarten teacher laughed when I told her I wanted to be a black hole when I grew up.

+9

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