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Stop right there, you hammer-wielding f------ casual. Do you see this? Do you see this s---? That's right, bitch. It's the GODDAMN GRONGIGAS. But it looks like an Urugaan testicle on a stick! You pour yourself a nice hot cup of shut the f--- up and take a look at the stats on this mean sumbitch. Attack: 1508 O Aff:-15% Def: +25 You're reading that right. 1508 raw. That's higher than any other hammer-scratch that, any other weapon-in the goddamned game Oh, and what's that?+25 defense? Thanks, Grongigas. What a f------ bro. nd yeah, the segative affinity ane Ufe's nat Fair Menster Huster certainlyisst Get eer What's that? You want to max this s--- as far as it can go? Well there missy, you just try not to soak through your poogie-print panties while we crunch these numbers. The hammer's modifier is 5.2 you f------ scrub Learn the damage formula, pleb. Goddamn Grongigas: AuL or Honed Blade (x20) Powe rcharm (x6) Powe rtalon (x9) Demondrug (x3): Mega Demond rug or Kitchen AUL (x6): Might Seed (x10) Might Pill (x25) 1508 1612 1643 1690 1716 1726 1778 1856 What's that? Someone's got a big d---? Playing like a real manly man, are we? All right then, curl up your mustache and roll up your sleeves while we activate Felyne Heroics (135% max attack) 2506 Did I f------ stutter, bitch? Two thousand, five hundred and f------ six SPLOOSH But look at that sharpness! What am I supposed to do with blue sharpness? You take another sip of that shut the f--- up. Because yes, you'll need Sharpness 1 or Honed Blade for this bad boy to make him any good. Because thern whaaaaaaaaaaaat? PURPLE. That means his sharpness modifier goes from 1.2 to 1.44 which on top of being the best possible return for your 10 skill points, means a nearly 25% increase in damage What's that? You're running a set with Awaken? There's a good little boy Now this soulcrusher has 400 Slime +80 with Bombardier +40 with Pyro maxing at 520, bitch. That s--- will slime your little sister and won't even call her in the morning. But wwwaaaaaahhh! Slime is cheap and it's better to use elemental weaknesses wwwaaaasahhh You bite your tongue, f------. Hammer's elemental modifiers are utter s--- anyway slimesplosions Staggers for days. And when you're grinding Four Point or Pack Mentality to get your scrawny ass to HR125 you'll take all the damage you can f------ get. Once you get yourself this beautiful lump on a stick, you will never have to run to the Marina to change sets EVER F------ AGAIN You'll get to stand there in the tavern, get drunk as f---, and PRANCE like the m------------ badass you are So get ready to break some chins, bitch. You'll be farming Feel the Heat (G2*) for a while Because once you go GODDAMN GRONGIGAS, u never go

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LISTEN UP CUMSLUTS DO YOU KNOW WHO THIS IS? >hurr durr its boba fett >It's Doomguy lol >is that Master Chief WRONG YOU F------ COCKSOCK sit your bitch ass down and listen for five goddamn minutes <--THIS BITCH RIGHT HERE IS SAMUS M------------ ARAN WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE? OF COURSE YOU DO, F------ YOU SEE THIS--> S---?! THAT'S A M------------ ARM CANNON AND IT HAS ENOUGH FIREPOWER TO WIPE OUT EVERY SINGLE MILITARY ON THIS EARTH BY ITSELF >"b-but that's impractical, that means he only has one hand free" F--- YOU, BITCH SAMUS IS A STRONG, INDEPENDENT™ WOMAN WHO ONLY NEEDS ONE HAND TO F--- YOUR S--- JUST LOOK AT HER • HOT AS F--- BLUE LATEX SUIT • TOWERS OVER MANLET P------ LIKE YOU AT 6 FOOT 3 198 POUNDS OF PURE F------ MUSCLE • RAISED AND GENETICALLY ENHANCED BY M------------ BIRD PEOPLE • LOOK AT THAT PONYTAIL GODDAMN • ROCKET-PROPELLED HIGH HEELS TO STEP ON YOU WITH • LASER GUN THAT CAN BECOME A WHIP • NICE T--- AND ASS TOO ALSO, SHE'S BLOWN UP PLANETS THAT'S RIGHT, A------- PLANETS SARAH CONNOR AIN'T GOT S--- ON THAT STILL NOT CONVINCED THAT SHE'S A BADASS BITCH? LOOK AT THIS S--- she turns into a f------ SPHERE like she's goddamn Optimus Prime or some s--- BASICALLY, WHAT I'M SAYING IS ALL OTHER WAIFUS ARE S--- AND YOU. ARENT. F------. WORTHY. YOU CAN ONLY DREAM ABOUT BASKING IN HER GLORY

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Stop right there, you hammer-wielding f------ casual. Do you see this? Do you see this s---? That's right, bitch. It's the GODDAMN GRONGIGAS. But it looks like an Urugaan testicle on a stick! You pour yourself a nice hot cup of shut the f--- up and take a look at the stats on this mean sumbitch. Attack: 1508 O Aff:-15% Def: +25 You're reading that right. 1508 raw. That's higher than any other hammer-scratch that, any other weapon-in the goddamned game Oh, and what's that?+25 defense? Thanks, Grongigas. What a f------ bro. nd yeah, the segative affinity ane Ufe's nat Fair Menster Huster certainlyisst Get eer What's that? You want to max this s--- as far as it can go? Well there missy, you just try not to soak through your poogie-print panties while we crunch these numbers. The hammer's modifier is 5.2 you f------ scrub Learn the damage formula, pleb. Goddamn Grongigas: AuL or Honed Blade (x20) Powe rcharm (x6) Powe rtalon (x9) Demondrug (x3): Mega Demond rug or Kitchen AUL (x6): Might Seed (x10) Might Pill (x25) 1508 1612 1643 1690 1716 1726 1778 1856 What's that? Someone's got a big d---? Playing like a real manly man, are we? All right then, curl up your mustache and roll up your sleeves while we activate Felyne Heroics (135% max attack) 2506 Did I f------ stutter, bitch? Two thousand, five hundred and f------ six SPLOOSH But look at that sharpness! What am I supposed to do with blue sharpness? You take another sip of that shut the f--- up. Because yes, you'll need Sharpness 1 or Honed Blade for this bad boy to make him any good. Because thern whaaaaaaaaaaaat? PURPLE. That means his sharpness modifier goes from 1.2 to 1.44 which on top of being the best possible return for your 10 skill points, means a nearly 25% increase in damage What's that? You're running a set with Awaken? There's a good little boy Now this soulcrusher has 400 Slime +80 with Bombardier +40 with Pyro maxing at 520, bitch. That s--- will slime your little sister and won't even call her in the morning. But wwwaaaaaahhh! Slime is cheap and it's better to use elemental weaknesses wwwaaaasahhh You bite your tongue, f------. Hammer's elemental modifiers are utter s--- anyway slimesplosions Staggers for days. And when you're grinding Four Point or Pack Mentality to get your scrawny ass to HR125 you'll take all the damage you can f------ get. Once you get yourself this beautiful lump on a stick, you will never have to run to the Marina to change sets EVER F------ AGAIN You'll get to stand there in the tavern, get drunk as f---, and PRANCE like the m------------ badass you are So get ready to break some chins, bitch. You'll be farming Feel the Heat (G2*) for a while Because once you go GODDAMN GRONGIGAS, u never go

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