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1,058 of 1,221 people found the following review helpful A RECIPE FOR SUCCESS!!, January 15, 2014 By Uncle Whitey - This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery) WARNING: This is a story of extreme success. Your results may vary My overbearing oaf of a boss loves snacks. He rarely takes a lunch, as it would interfere with his love of micromanagement. I can't tell you how many times he's buzzed me on the intercom with his mouth overflowing with crackers, jerky or whatever is within reach of his fat arms, all the while screaming at me from a mouth splattering food particles all over his desk and computer like a rain bird connected to a fire hose. The tech guys hate him too, simply for the fact that they have to keep replacing his crusted over keyboards nearly on a monthly basis Shortly before the holidays, I was told that my bonus was going to be reduced by over 90% this year due to the company not being able to hit an arbitrary goal, which happened to be set by my confounding boss in October. My friend Omar in accounting told me that we actually did quite well this year, and my boss was taking a much larger than normal bonus this year. Greeeaaaaat. While looking for cheap Christmas gifts for various staff members in my office, amongst the tubs of popcorn, I found these Gummy Bears of death. I so wanted to give them to my boss, but I could not risk him finding these reviews and tracing his loss of an intestine to me. Then I overheard him screaming over the phone at a contractor to having his new swimming pool and spa completed before the New Year, so he could have the deduction for this year's taxes. That's when I came up with HOLIDAY POPCORN OF DEATH: 4 qts. popcorn 1 1/2 c. sugar 1/2 c. white kard 1 c. butter 2 tbsp. vanilla 1 bag colored marshmallows 4 c. Killer Haribo Sugarless Gummy Bears IMPORTANT: DO NOT TOUCH THIS MIXTURE WITH YOUR BARE HANDS. WEAR PUNCTURE PROOF LATEX GLOVES Add the popcorn to a washed holiday popcorn tin with all labels removed, seal with cellophane tape along the edge (this gives it the impression of being factory sealed) add a nice bow and card. Then eat the marshmallows while you laugh and think about all of the havoc you are going to cause A couple of days before Christmas, I distributed my popcorn gifts, and gave my boss his special batch, and went back to my office I walked by his office several times in eager anticipation, and around lunch time I heard his characteristic open mouth crunching and I saw that the popcorn lid was off. GO TIME! After the last employee left for lunch, I placed an OUT OF ORDER sign on the executive washroom near my office, and waited for the magic to happen. It didn't take long, maybe 15-20 minutes or so, when I heard a frantic try at the washroom door, and then heard my boss yell "SHIGUMMM!" as he hit the door. I peeked out my door to see him doubled over, and shuffling like a speared penguin whose life depended on holding his butt cheeks together. Popcorn particles were on the front of his shirt and in the corners of his grimaced mouth. Droplets of sweat had started rolling off his bald pate, and appeared to be mixing with his tears of pain His only option was to make his way to the employee restroom down the hall, but it required the use of a code that he never used After years of smirking after using the executive washroom, I thought to myself "Who's laughing now b%$"?" He shuffled his way to my office shouting my name (probably to get the code) but I had hidden myself under my desk "Unbelievable!" was the only thing he could say when I heard what sounded like a live cat being dropped in a bubbling stew pot while shooting a tommy gun. I looked under my desk to see soiled trousers drop on the floor of my office, as he defiled my shredder I started to feel bad for him and stood up, but was immediately knocked back down by a putrefied stench of an exploding blue whale that had laid in the sun for weeks. My gag reflex was vaporized and I spun yarn like Linda Blai nd Pazuzu's love child. Most nts before prolapsing. His eyes were open, bru nts le he bore pow The next thin without nding in m ath our miles ho thinkin left my keys, my rting Arle onist who W uncon round in ryone was in shock. I w d killed my boss by liquefying his insides with the power combo of roughage nd intestine liquefying gummies. I snapped out of it when Omar started shaking me saying: "Dude, you were in there, weren't you?" I nodded my head and he screamed "I found one! I found one! Hazmat!'" ed around the corner by two guys in s ha its and was put in a quarantine t tion. When the with the no symptoms the explained that my ntine for virus, or Influenza e inch of the office. Omar found her shortly ther r lunch, Arlene ell that ha trying t would ntine for no less tha and they need the offic the ground ryone in the off three months off with pa normal bonus. The find out tha ha but the fired him anywa y ror nting the office with his inna By the time they let us back in, the offices we on which incr but I finally got the ke utive wa Thanks Haribo

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☆☆☆☆☆ Rapture me, please lord, October 5, 2013 By Craig L-See all my reviews This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery) ☆☆☆☆☆ I can't get the smell out , October 7, 2013 By Sarah Oh See all my reviews This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery) ☆☆☆☆☆ slow painful death by Gummi Bears in an Airplane Bathroom, October 23, 2013 By ILike Ceesing in Luckytown) See all my reviews This review is from: Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears, 5-Pound Bag (Grocery) Ate a bag of these when I boarded a 6 hour flight to Seatttle Gastric exorcism at 30,000 feet Enough said. My advice.. Don't use a bathroom on a Delta flight. That stench is from me 7 years ago. Help other customers find the most helpful reviews Repert abuse Permalink Comment
http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC
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Uploaded Feb 20, 2014 at 08:18PM EST

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Haribo Sugarless Gummy Candy Reviews

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