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Hey Siri, why don't my relationships work out? This is Alexa.

LIBRA SCIENCEpho s--- You have lupus. ENGELHOLOLIBRARY I dunno man, that sounds kind of rash.... COLIBRARY SCIENCEPHOTOLIBRAR SCIENCE OTOLIBRARY SCIENCEPHOTOLIBRARY EphotoLIBRARY SCIENCEphotoLIBRARY SCIENCEphoto So I said to her, "I don't give a s--- if you're part of the body. If you have antibodies, I'm going to kill you."

Me: I got bitten on my walk by a Great Dane Her: My God - imagine if it had been a small child Me:I could have fought off a small child, Alice ale alay al

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Conman The Terrible

Conman The Terrible

Jul 29, 2014 at 01:56PM EDT

"Son, what did I tell you about PKing?"

+20

MIMU

MIMU

Jul 29, 2014 at 05:25PM EDT in reply to Conman The Terrible

That'll teach you to follow somebody into the wilderness for "free armor trimming."

+11

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