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Last year I spent six months participating in what I was told was a imaginative people looking to make good money, and since was the only ad that week that Iwas remotely qualified for, I gave them a They told me that ail I would have to do is stay in a room, alone, with sensors attached to my head to read my brain activity, and while I enough, and I agreed to do it as soon as they told me how much I would be paid. And the next day. I began. They a bed, thern sensors to my head and hocked them into a little black box on the inslead of moving around, I should visualize my double moving around, or try to interact with him, and so on The idea was to keep him with me the enire time I was in the room. I had trouble with it for the first few days. It was more controlled than any sort of daydreaming rd done before. I'd imagine my double for a few minutes, then grow distracted. But by the fourth day, I could manage to keep him "present" for the entire six hours. They told me was doing very The second week, they gave me a different room, with wall-mounted old me they acting simull discordant, ugly and unsettling, and it made the process a little more ifficult, but I managed nonetheless. The next week they played and To liven We'd have conversations up, tdmonth but hey So wo played, and communicated, and that was fun for a while. And day, and he cormected me. I'd said my date was wearing a yellow , and he told me was a green onelthogil about for a second, and nealized he was right. It creeped me out, and after m shift that day,I talked to the researchers about it "You're using the knew on some level that you were wrong, and you subconsciously What had been creepy was my tulpa and access all sorts of memoriesI could make it quote whole pages of books Id read once, years belore, or things I was That was around the time I started "caling up" my double outside of him by now that it almost seemed odd to not see him. So whenever almost all the time. It was amusing to take him along lke an invisible need to speak aloud to him, so I was able to carry out conversations with him and no one was the wiser I know that sounds strange, but it was fun. Not only was he a I had more in touch with of body she was laughing a ittle too hard at my jokes, and leaning towards consciously picking up on.Ilistened, and let's just say that that date went very By the time l'd been at the research center for four months, he was with my constantly. The researchers approached me one day after my s---, and asked me if Id stopped visualizing him. I denied it, and they seemed pleased. I silently asked my double if he knew what prompted that, but he just shrugged it off . So did I Iwithdrew a liae from the world at that point. I was having trouble oopO It seemed to me that they wore so contused the reasons behind their actions, why some things made them mad and others made them laugh. They didnt know what moved them, ButI dd-or at least, I could ask myself and get an answer A friend confronted me one evening. He pounded at the door until l and came in fuming and swearing up a storm haven't answered when I called you in f------ weoks, you d---" He I was about to apologize to him, and probably would have offered to hit the bars with him that night, but my tulpa grew suddenly furious Hit him. his nose break. He fell to the floor and came up swinging, and we beat each other up and down my apartment. I was more furious then han I have ever been, and I was not merciful. 1 knocked him to the ground and gave him two savage kicks to the ribs, and that was them that he had spent the night crowing about my victory and sneening over how wasn't until the next morning, when was checking out my black eye and cut ip in the mirror, that I remembered what had set me off My double was the one who'd grown furious, not me. I'd been feeling my houghts. You don't need him anymare. You don't need anyone else,"he told me, and I Selt my skin craw I explained al this to the researchers who employed me, but they just laughed tom、"You can't be scared of something that you're imaging," one told me. My double stood beside him, and nodded I tried to take their words to heart, but over the next few days I found and I saw smile No job was worth losing my mind over. I decided" he was out of control, rd put him down I was so used to him at that point work somewhatI could get rid of him for hours at a tme. But every tme he came back, he seemed worse. His skin seemed ashen, his eeth more and slp up, no longer concentrating on not seeing him, and there he'd be, and that howing noise with him I was still visting the research center and spending my six hours here. one day, about five and a haf grabbed and restrained me, and someone in a lab coat jabbed a woke up from my stupor back in the room, strapped into the bed hardly looked human anymore. His features were twisted. His eyes much taller than me, Theyre pumping you full of the good s---, I think How's the mind? him. The next fow weeks were termible. Every so often, someone in a coat would come in and scolding me, and then he cut her throat and her blood showered me. was so real that i could taste never spoke to invectives, demanded answers. They never spoke to me. They may have talked to my bulpa, my personal monster. I'm not sure. I was so doped and confused that it may have just been more delusion, but talking with him. grew convinced that he real one, and I was encouraged that lne of Another thing that I pray was a delusionc he could touch me. More than that, he could hurt me. He'd poke and prod at me if he felt I testicles and squeezed undl I told him Iloved him. Another time, he slashed my forearm with one of his talons I stil have a scar- most hallucinated that he was responsible. Most days. Then one day, while myselt, and just me a uus invenyone face, and reached out and touched my head. Like my mother used to when I was feverish. He stayed ssll told me. Then he walked out the door Three hours later, I was given an injection, and passed out. I awoke my way to the door and unlocked. I walked out into the empty hallwary, and then ran. I stumbled more an once, but I made it down the stairs and out into the lot behind the building. There, I collapsed, weeping like a child knew I had to keep moving, but I couldn't manage it got home eventualy-I dont remember how. I locked the door, and shoved a dresser against it, took a long shower, and slept for a day next day, or the one after that. It was over. rd spent a week locked in that room, but it had felt ike a century I'd withdrawn so much from my le beforehand that nobody had even known I was missing The police didn't find anything. The research center was empty when hey searched it. The paper trail fell apart. The names I'd given them were aliases. Even the l recovered as much as one can. I don' leave the house much, and I have panic attacks when I do. ery a lot. I dont sleep much, and my Not today, though. Three days ago, I got a phone call from my mother. There's been a tragedy. My sister's the latest victim in a police say. The then guts them hear was music coming from somewhere distant Discordant,

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Yes No 04/01 TUE Afternoon > Do you have any regrets about the choices you have made?
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Last year I spent six months participating in what I was told was a imaginative people looking to make good money, and since was the only ad that week that Iwas remotely qualified for, I gave them a They told me that ail I would have to do is stay in a room, alone, with sensors attached to my head to read my brain activity, and while I enough, and I agreed to do it as soon as they told me how much I would be paid. And the next day. I began. They a bed, thern sensors to my head and hocked them into a little black box on the inslead of moving around, I should visualize my double moving around, or try to interact with him, and so on The idea was to keep him with me the enire time I was in the room. I had trouble with it for the first few days. It was more controlled than any sort of daydreaming rd done before. I'd imagine my double for a few minutes, then grow distracted. But by the fourth day, I could manage to keep him "present" for the entire six hours. They told me was doing very The second week, they gave me a different room, with wall-mounted old me they acting simull discordant, ugly and unsettling, and it made the process a little more ifficult, but I managed nonetheless. The next week they played and To liven We'd have conversations up, tdmonth but hey So wo played, and communicated, and that was fun for a while. And day, and he cormected me. I'd said my date was wearing a yellow , and he told me was a green onelthogil about for a second, and nealized he was right. It creeped me out, and after m shift that day,I talked to the researchers about it "You're using the knew on some level that you were wrong, and you subconsciously What had been creepy was my tulpa and access all sorts of memoriesI could make it quote whole pages of books Id read once, years belore, or things I was That was around the time I started "caling up" my double outside of him by now that it almost seemed odd to not see him. So whenever almost all the time. It was amusing to take him along lke an invisible need to speak aloud to him, so I was able to carry out conversations with him and no one was the wiser I know that sounds strange, but it was fun. Not only was he a I had more in touch with of body she was laughing a ittle too hard at my jokes, and leaning towards consciously picking up on.Ilistened, and let's just say that that date went very By the time l'd been at the research center for four months, he was with my constantly. The researchers approached me one day after my s---, and asked me if Id stopped visualizing him. I denied it, and they seemed pleased. I silently asked my double if he knew what prompted that, but he just shrugged it off . So did I Iwithdrew a liae from the world at that point. I was having trouble oopO It seemed to me that they wore so contused the reasons behind their actions, why some things made them mad and others made them laugh. They didnt know what moved them, ButI dd-or at least, I could ask myself and get an answer A friend confronted me one evening. He pounded at the door until l and came in fuming and swearing up a storm haven't answered when I called you in f------ weoks, you d---" He I was about to apologize to him, and probably would have offered to hit the bars with him that night, but my tulpa grew suddenly furious Hit him. his nose break. He fell to the floor and came up swinging, and we beat each other up and down my apartment. I was more furious then han I have ever been, and I was not merciful. 1 knocked him to the ground and gave him two savage kicks to the ribs, and that was them that he had spent the night crowing about my victory and sneening over how wasn't until the next morning, when was checking out my black eye and cut ip in the mirror, that I remembered what had set me off My double was the one who'd grown furious, not me. I'd been feeling my houghts. You don't need him anymare. You don't need anyone else,"he told me, and I Selt my skin craw I explained al this to the researchers who employed me, but they just laughed tom、"You can't be scared of something that you're imaging," one told me. My double stood beside him, and nodded I tried to take their words to heart, but over the next few days I found and I saw smile No job was worth losing my mind over. I decided" he was out of control, rd put him down I was so used to him at that point work somewhatI could get rid of him for hours at a tme. But every tme he came back, he seemed worse. His skin seemed ashen, his eeth more and slp up, no longer concentrating on not seeing him, and there he'd be, and that howing noise with him I was still visting the research center and spending my six hours here. one day, about five and a haf grabbed and restrained me, and someone in a lab coat jabbed a woke up from my stupor back in the room, strapped into the bed hardly looked human anymore. His features were twisted. His eyes much taller than me, Theyre pumping you full of the good s---, I think How's the mind? him. The next fow weeks were termible. Every so often, someone in a coat would come in and scolding me, and then he cut her throat and her blood showered me. was so real that i could taste never spoke to invectives, demanded answers. They never spoke to me. They may have talked to my bulpa, my personal monster. I'm not sure. I was so doped and confused that it may have just been more delusion, but talking with him. grew convinced that he real one, and I was encouraged that lne of Another thing that I pray was a delusionc he could touch me. More than that, he could hurt me. He'd poke and prod at me if he felt I testicles and squeezed undl I told him Iloved him. Another time, he slashed my forearm with one of his talons I stil have a scar- most hallucinated that he was responsible. Most days. Then one day, while myselt, and just me a uus invenyone face, and reached out and touched my head. Like my mother used to when I was feverish. He stayed ssll told me. Then he walked out the door Three hours later, I was given an injection, and passed out. I awoke my way to the door and unlocked. I walked out into the empty hallwary, and then ran. I stumbled more an once, but I made it down the stairs and out into the lot behind the building. There, I collapsed, weeping like a child knew I had to keep moving, but I couldn't manage it got home eventualy-I dont remember how. I locked the door, and shoved a dresser against it, took a long shower, and slept for a day next day, or the one after that. It was over. rd spent a week locked in that room, but it had felt ike a century I'd withdrawn so much from my le beforehand that nobody had even known I was missing The police didn't find anything. The research center was empty when hey searched it. The paper trail fell apart. The names I'd given them were aliases. Even the l recovered as much as one can. I don' leave the house much, and I have panic attacks when I do. ery a lot. I dont sleep much, and my Not today, though. Three days ago, I got a phone call from my mother. There's been a tragedy. My sister's the latest victim in a police say. The then guts them hear was music coming from somewhere distant Discordant,

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