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It Was Me, Barry! / Zoomposting - Why Professor Zoom zooms Barry's whole life

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Anonymous 03/17/15(Tue)20:56:19 No.70394484 70394528 File: hello barry intensifies. webm (33 KB, 628x356) >>70390982 Story time! >Mustard man is from 500 years in the future, where everyone has forgotten about superheroes Except for one neckbeard f----- >This f-----'s name was Eobard Thawne. While everyone else was riding their hoverboards and taking vacations to Vega LVIIl, our little Eobard was in his room, reading capeshit. Except in his world, capeshit was literally history textbooks His favorite hero was the Flash. He loved the Flash, knew everything ABOUT the Flash, wanted to be the Flash's best friend, or maybe even the Flash himself. This m----------- was so dedicated he learned every single detail about Barry Allen, the Flash's life. He knew more about Barry than we know about CWC And then the m----------- went a step further. He decided to become Barry's sidekick. How, you ask? By replicating the experiment that gave the Flash his powers, then getting plastic surgery to LOOK JUST LIKE BARRY ALLEN. And then, because I am not done, he FIGURED OUT TIME TRAVEL AND WENT BACK IN TIME TO THE PRESENT DAY Naturally, he ran to the Flash Museum first (because the Flash has a museum, if you didn't know) so he could learn all the little details about his idol that were lost to history before he met Barry in the flesh. And there he found an exhibit about Professor Zoom. Zoom, you see, was Allen's greatest nemesis, a psychotic fuckzoid who wanted nothing more than to destroy the Flash and kill everyone he loved slowly and painfully. In the 26th century Zoom's name had been forever lost, but here it was quite well-documented that his identity was none other than Eobard Thawne himself Anonymous 03/17/15(Tue)20:58:12 No.7039452870394574 File: 1420412411768.ipg (1.49 MB, 1920x1476) 2>70390982 2> Well that just made poor little Eddie snap. He wanted to be the Flash's FRIEND, his STUDENT, his PARTNER. But history had already decided he would be the worst thing to ever happen to the Flash. Thawne did not take this well. In fact, the first thing he did was go back in time and murder Barry Allen's mother and get his father thrown in jail as the assumed killer Then he went forward in time, doing literally every little petty thing possible to make Barry miserable, from boyhood to manhood. Pushing him down stairs, letting his dog out into the street so it could run away, making people think he was weird in school, blowing out his birthday candles before he could. EVERYTHING. >He is the world's greatest bully, because Barry spent every moment of his LIFE under constant assault by one asspained fanboy who got snubbed for an autograph in the worst way possible. What I'm saying is, Professor Zoom is the most autistic characte in all of fiction.

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