ARE YOU TIRED OF BREAKING OUT THOSE BIG BOTTLES OF SOLVENT EVERY TIME LITTLE TIMMY SPILLS HIS NUKA-COLA ON THE CARPET?

TIRED OF MAKING A BIG BUCKET OF CLEANSER JUST FOR ONE SMALL SPOT?

HI BILLY MAYS HERE WITH BRAND NEW ABRAXO CLEANSER, THE REVOLUTIONARY NEW CLEANSER THAT'S HERE TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER. JUST WATCH. ORDINARY CLEANSER CAN'T CLEAN CARPET, BUT WITH ABRAXO, JUST POUR, SPREAD AND WATCH THAT STAIN DISSOLVE AWAY.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE, IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 2 HOURS WE'LL SEND YOU ANOTHER BOX ABSOLUTELY FREE.

AND IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 15 MINUTES WE'LL EVEN SEND YOU A BOX OF ABRAXO LAUNDRY DETERGENT, GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOUR LIFE EASIER AND YOUR CLOTHES CLEANER.

THAT'S TWO BOXES OF ABRAXO, AND A BOX OF LAUNDRY DETERGENT, ALL AT THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF TWO PAYMENTS OF $69.99!

30 Minutes of writing well spent.