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Today, the FDA approved a new weight loss tool.

It's called the AspireAssist. It's a device that connects to your stomach to empty a its contents into the toilet. This allows you to eat all of the bullshit that led you to obesity in the first place, but then drain it out before you digest the calories.

Clinical trials showed patients lost an average of 46 pounds per year with no diet or exercise changes! This is the future of eating!!

Colbert covered this months ago

That is simultaneously the greatest and worst weight loss method I have ever seen.

Fucking hell that's disgusting.

International Space Station diet is far more effective weight loss method, although more expensive.

I mean it is kind of ideal besides the whole socket in your abdomen thing. I guess you could always just throw up instead… if it aint broke don't fix it??

This shit will get banned in a year. People will lose weight too fast and fuck themeselves up.

I don't think this is a completely, totally new thing. I remember reading in my one required college level health class back in 2012 that for serious cases of obesity there were surgeries that involved messing with the intestines or something. I don't remember the exact details, unfortunately. I wonder if this is related to that surgical procedure in any possible way.

And yes it's gross, and people should learn to have more self-discipline, and it could enable people to indulge without consequences, but it could potentially save lives. Don't get me wrong, I'm not endorsing this product, but considering it's arguable that these days, more people in the world die (indirectly) from overeating rather than starvation, well, it's a start I suppose.

That said, there has to be a better way to "deal" with obesity without resorting to mechanically emptying people's stomachs and take away personal responsibility. Maybe something that could help people to learn to deal with cravings, or something. After all, self-control is technically a skill, and sometimes people need temporary "training wheels" when learning a new (or almost never used) skill until they get enough practice in to manage on their own.

That looks stupid.
I'll stick to diet and excersice thank you very much.

I lost 40 lbs in a year at no extra cost just by following this one weird trick!

Not eating too many sugary foods.

That's literally it.

How about just, don't eat as much.

Isn't that good enough?

While disgusting, It seems there may be less complications from this compared to a gastric bypass, so I suppose it could be a viable last option for those who have tried and failed to lose weight in conventional ways.

Imagine the oral porn.

…oh god vore's going to enter the real life porn sites isnt it.

how disturbing. What ever happened to just watching what you eat? Is something like that really so hard for people to do?

This actually makes me want to excercise

Really what's the difference between this and regular purging by throwing up? I mean you're achieving the same effect except one way is a lot more expensive and requires you to make a fucking hole in your stomach.
God, if you're that desperate just get liposuction or something.

My Aluminium stomach hurts after reading that…