When you hear the word "apotheosis", what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Typically, people think "God","Hero" or old, boring poems. Or they may have no idea what it means at all, but something different pops up into my mind. I think of the only true man who I believe can take care of my offspring. I think of a true man who isn't counted by the size of his breasts, but the size of his heart. That man…
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(excuse the mild profanity)
Captain Blubber has successfully interviewed 7 other people that hit the rank of becoming a Know Your Meme mod. I thought he deserved to be on the interviewee's side as well.
Without further-ado, I present the Captain Blubber interview.
(Legend: BZ = BioticZombie; CB = Crunchy Bitch, er I mean Captain_Blubber)
BZ: Why did you join Know Your Meme?
CB: Well, I watched Dan Meth’s “Internet People”:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pPCkhYMQgY and realized that I only understood a handful of the references. I decided to learn about all the internet culture in the song. While looking at one of the videos (I think it was Numa Numa, I’m not sure) I saw in related videos the Know Your Meme episode about whatever video I watched. I decided to click on it and I enjoyed the video. I visited the site mentioned at the end of the video. Back then, knowyourmeme.com was the old wiki page. A few months passed and I wanted to go back to the wiki page. To my surprise, an actual website was there. I could browse the site at school, so my friends could see this stuff too. We looked at the pictures and laughed at some. We didn’t understand about 50% of the stuff on the site. Me and two of “my”:https://knowyourmeme.com/users/theneonchinchilla “friends”:https://knowyourmeme.com/users/ihavenonlief signed up (I signed up first). That’s why I signed up, so my friends and I could have a laugh.
BZ: ou’re an early adopter of this website, a strong contributor, a hero to others, and even depicted as "The King of Comedy" by the late Jostin Asuncion (Rest in peace). Along your time being at Know Your Meme, did you ever learn anything about yourself?
CB: I really didn’t learn anything about myself.
I’m not sure if I learned anything at all.
Well, I learned trivial things like what people’s favourite colours are and what areas people live in. I don’t think I’ve learned any life lessons, which is how I like it. I’d rather not have paradigm-shifting events take place on a computer.
I mean, I’d hate to be a grandfather and have my grandchildren come up to me and say “Grandpa, tell us a story about when you were young” and then tell them about some e-drama that happened on some long-forgotten forum. They would look at me and say “Grandpa, didn’t you have outside when you were young?” I’d say yes and they would tell me I had a terribly boring life and that my youth was wasted.
I don’t want 6-year olds telling me I had a shitty childhood.
On the topic of how others see me, I always thought I was like Spider-man in that regard. Some people see me in my e-disguise and think that I am a pretty cool guy but underneath the mask, I’m just some asshole teenager.
BZ: Anyone who has seen a few of your forum posts around Know Your Meme or has chatted with on the IRC can easily tell you’re a humorous person with an outgoing personality. How does your true personality differ from your internet persona?
CB: Well, there really is no difference. I pride myself in my consistency. The problem about that is I have a seriously tough time taking anything seriously. Which is beneficial in some situations but at other times it gets me in a lot of trouble. Luckily, nothing serious ever happens on the internet so it’s never a problem.
BZ: Do you have any strong role-models or someone who has influenced you to have your traits, and tendencies?
CB: My parents are pretty much my biggest role models. Though I have done a lot of reading about various world leaders, scientists, Canadian Prime Ministers, Comedians and other notable people, reading which has shaped me into the man I am today.
BZ: What was your reaction when becoming a mod? (Originally an admin)
CB: When I learned I had become a (then admin) mod, I was pretty excited. It wasn’t just because of all the mod powers I had but also because I won a bet about whether I could do it or not.
BZ : If you owned Know Your Meme (specifically the website) for a day, what would you do? (Other than ban Taryn)
CB: I’d give it some sort of arcade. So then I could play games on slow days. I’d also have an auto-ban feature for when users post something really REALLY stupid.
Did I mention all the Charlize Theron pictures there would be?
My God, there would be so many.
Like this one.
BZ : What is your favorite experience on Know Your Meme and the KnowYourMeme IRC Channel?
CB : Probably anytime work actually got done.
One day, on irc about 8 entries got confirmed within an hour. That was beautiful.
BZ : If KnowYourMeme became a movie, who would play you?
CB : Will Smith. Actually, everyone should be played by Will Smith.
If Mr. Smith is unavailable, then Steven Wright should play me.
If that doesn’t work, Charlize Theron should play me, for irony’s sake.
BZ : What Celebrity personality do you believe that you could beat him / her in a fight?
CB : Fuckin' Glenn Close. I would do anything to beat Glenn Close up. I don't even have anything against Glenn Close, I just want to beat her up SOOO BADLY.
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BZ : What are your hobbies? (Other than being locked in the bathroom with a bottle of lotion and a box Kleenex.)Â
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CB : Baseball and memorizing song lyrics.
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BZ : If you were able to bring four Know Your Meme members to spend the night at your house, who would they be? (and why?)Â
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CB : Do those guys from the Encyclopedia Dramatica Forums count? Ha ha.
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Actually, this is a tough question for me. I hate picking favourites, but I would choose Jamie, Yatta, Chris and Greg. Brad was invited too but he said he had to do something of equal awesomagnatude and couldn’t come. I choose those guys, not just because they are the admins, but also they are REALLY old and probably have some cool stories about Vietnam, Woodstock and the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
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BZ : Your life in 10 words. (Take your time)
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CB : Average kid stops being shy and he becomes a prophet.
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BZ : Do you have any advice for the 6 people who read this interview?
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CB : – Floss your teeth
- Look both ways before you cross the street
- Don’t do drugs
- Put a scarf on, you catch a cold
- Be yourself
- Don’t be yourself
- Chew with your mouth closed
- Don’t drink and drive
- Don’t sit really close to the TV
And most importantly: have a good time whenever possible.
Now you can leech karma from MY humour.
You sneaky bastard.
Thank for your time
