Konbini/Convenience Store (コンビニ) (2008)

About

Konbini / Convenience Store is a flash MAD meme based on a popular song named “Konbini” by the Japanese folk duo Briefs & Trunk. While each version has it’s own unique touches, they all follow the story of making a late night trip to a local 24 hour convenience store.

Origins

The first MAD video of the original song and M/V surfaced on Nico Nico Douga in February 2008. Other derivatives and remix videos that followed suit typically involve popular characters from anime/manga and video games acting out the narrative lyrics.

Konbini Culture in Japan

Typical interior view of a Japanese Konbini store

To better appreciate the humor behind the song, it should be noted that chain convenience stores are an integral part of everyday life across Japan. In contrast to convenience stores in the US, most Japanese Konbinis tend to serve as a local hub providing a broad range of services, from courier/postal service and photocopying to buying airline/concert tickets and paying utilities & taxes.

Konbini Speed Run

Aside from the cutesy folk tribute to local convenience stores, some of the more hardcore patrons of Nico Nico Douga also play an IRL game called Konbini RTA (speed race), which involves measuring the time it takes to make a roundtrip from one’s home to the nearest convenience store. The first Konbini RTA ever measured was 2 min. 30 sec (Sept. 7th, 2003) and the current world record stands at 1 min. 18 sec (Sept. 7th, 2007).

Plot (Full Lyrics at bottom)

1. Character is bored at night;
2. Character sneaks out of the house to go to a convenience store;
3. On the way to the store, character encounters thugs;
4. While at the store, character sees an old man reading porn;
5. Character buys meat buns;

6. Character gets angry at clerk for placing receipt under change.

7. Character causes trouble for the clerk by being a difficult customer.

8. Character gets home before dawn.

MAD derivatives

Original Konbini MAD (February 2008) Featuring Touhou Characters:

Final Fantasy VII characters:

The Joker:

Earthbound:

Smash Bros. Version 1:

Smash Bros. Version 2:

Smash Bros. Version 3:

W/ Tales of Symphonia:

Guilty Gear:

Naruto:

Gravitation:

Dragon Ball Z:

Pokemon Version 1:

Pokemon Version 2:

Sonic the Hedgehog:

Starfox:

Final Fantasy X/X-2 Characters:

MOTHER 3:

Phoenix Wright:

Animal Crossing:

Zelda:

One Piece/Spongebob?:

Transformers:

Lyrics in English

Well, my parents are asleep
There’s so much I wanna do
But what?
It’s midnight, my friends are all asleep
There’s nothing on TV but static
I know! I’ll go to the convenience store!

Open 24 hours (Convenience Store)
and all year round (Convenience Store)
With surveillance cameras (Convenience Store)
Why don’t I warm up here? (Convenience Store)
It’s a gathering place for punks (“Let’s hang out at the entrance”)

I’m scared to go inside (“Let’s hang out at the entrance”)
I hear a voice! (Hey, you girl!)
Wh-wh-wh-what? (Are you bra-less?)

Well, after getting rid of those punks
The welcoming automatic doors open for me
An old man next to me looks at dirty magazines
I don’t know what to buy, so I try to decide

Open 24 hours (Convenience Store)
and all year round (Convenience Store)
Utility bills (Convenience Store)
Hurry up with the copier! (Convenience Store)
A mute-looking part-timer works there (With a blank look on his face)
And I’m wearing no makeup (With drawn-on eyebrows too)
Some Anman please! (We’re out of stock)
Some meat buns will do then (Certainly)

The way he gave my change
As I open up my hand
The coins pile up like a receipt paperweight
I can hardly keep all this change together
As I get furious
I have to do something
So I planned some mischief

Excuse me! (May I help you?)
Um, um… (May I help you?)
Um, um… (The line is getting longer)
Um, um… (Please decide quickly)
An egg please (One egg coming up)
Another egg please (Two eggs… )
Another egg please (Three eggs…)
That’s all I need (Just eggs?)
And lots of tempura sauce too (Certainly)
How much is it? (220 yen, please)
Here’s 10,000 yen (Don’t you have anything smaller?)

Here’s 10,000 yen (Don’t you have anything smaller?)
Give me change, then (Certainly)
I don’t want a receipt (Slow down please…)
Can I use the toilet? (We don’t have one here)
Where do you go then? (You got me…)

It’s just too bad,
that the night passes so quickly
Even the roosters start crowing
Before my parents wake up
I’d better hurry home
Shall I come again tonight?

Let’s go to convenience store
Let’s go to convenience store
Let’s go to convenience store