Ninjas vs. Pirates (2003)

added May 18, 2009 at 10:24AM UTC

About

On April 17th, 2003, Robert Hamburger decided to parody these legendary characters on his totally sweet website RealUltimatePower. Hamburger’s site is often credited as the origin of the ‘Ninja vs. Pirate Meme’.

On RealUltimatePower, Hamburger would post “PumpUp Scripts” or ideas for Ninja movies, often fought against Pirates. The following is an excerpt from The Ultimate Battle script:


Dark smoke fills the scene and pump up music slowly gets louder. The audience sees a ninja and his girlfriend eating at a super expensive restaurant. The girlfriend is so hot that steam is coming out of her mouth or hair. Some old idiot is sitting by the couple. The idiot is giving the girlfriend “the eye” and popping like 16 boners. But the ninja sees the boners and the music really pumps up. The audience knows this guy is dead meat for sure. But out of nowhere, the old idiot pulls off his jacket to show that he is a pirate with lasers and everything. The ninja is like yeah right who cares and then pops the biggest boner ever, bigger than the biggest blackest boner alive. The ninja’s boner smashes the entire restaurant. Every single one of the pirate’s boners explodes while making a whistling sound. The ninja looks back at his girlfriend. She smiles and they pork.

By adding RealUltimatePower to graph 1, we can see that this entire Ninjas vs. Pirates debate is just the aftershock of RealUltimatePower

Since its not-so-humble beginnings, content on realutlimatepower.net was referenced by parody sites, and mainstream media such as video-games and anime.

While “Real Ultimate Power” was one of the first places for Pirates and Ninja’s to be discussed on the internet, it was not the first time Pirates and Ninjas have been depicted as enemies.

In 1989 Atari produced the arcade game (later ported to home computers) Skull & Crossbones which allowed the players to play as pirates fighting against other pirates, and against ninjas.

Videos

The Ninja vs. Pirate meme is practically omnipresent among online forums, so it comes as no surpise that there are a number of Ninja vs. Pirate videos on Youtube.



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51 Comments

Jamie Dubs
May 18, 2009 at 01:34PM UTC , Jamie Dubs wrote:

memitude is strong. Needs a better writeup about the actual site’s history and some pics/screenshots

Zoser 23
May 20, 2009 at 06:02AM UTC , Zoser 23 wrote:

Considering it is a bit older than a lot of the memes already here, I was actually surprised this meme didn’t have an entry, which is why I posted it. It appears that someone has already begun editing my original submission. However, I think that there may be a connection between this meme and the Star Wars Kid Meme, as the first time I ever saw that was on realultimatepower.net …I think it may be ‘Robert Hamburger’, but he may have stolen it from somewhere/one else…eh? The NPZR meme seems like whoever edited it is attempting to synthesize and infect us…beware of the NPZR!

Max Gladding
May 21, 2009 at 07:36PM UTC , Max Gladding wrote:

Actually I had heard of the NPZR before this meme, because I used to play kingdom of Loathing, and there was a ‘familiar’ named after the NPZR group.

kikinak
May 22, 2009 at 11:12PM UTC , kikinak wrote:

ninja advantage: land
pirate advantage: water
earth: 70% water 30%land

pirates: guns
ninjas: swords

ninjas: cant catch
pirates: catch and pillage

ninjas: either aren’t alive or are hiding
pirates: here with rocket launchers

pirates win

kikinak
May 22, 2009 at 11:15PM UTC , kikinak wrote:

now that i think of it, haven’t Spartans joined in since 300 came out?

Chris Menning
May 28, 2009 at 08:37AM UTC , Chris Menning wrote:

Not trying to infect anyone with NPZR, just adding a connection.
Because of memes like this, Ninjas, Pirates, Zombies, and Robots all have huge numbers of instances and variations.
The NPZR reference seemed like an obvious tie-in.

Brad Kim
Jun 08, 2009 at 04:56PM UTC , Brad Kim wrote:

what about Ask A Ninja videos? should it be a separate meme entry?

Rick Astley
Jul 11, 2009 at 12:07PM UTC , Rick Astley wrote:

there actually is a ninja vs pirates dodgeball for the xbox live arcade

http://www.piratesvsninjas.com/

Michael White
Jul 23, 2009 at 11:18PM UTC , Michael White wrote:

This one has been overplayed for years now. It’s unfortunate because it used to be so great.

qwertymanXD
Aug 23, 2009 at 08:51AM UTC , qwertymanXD wrote:

needs to be confirmed, has been spread around for ages, bit old but still a meme

qwertymanXD
Aug 23, 2009 at 08:51AM UTC , qwertymanXD wrote:

needs to be confirmed, has been spread around for ages, bit old but still a meme

Chris Menning
Aug 24, 2009 at 07:09PM UTC , Chris Menning wrote:

Removed Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot reference. Will save it for another Zombie and Robot related enty.

Mudkip<3
Aug 24, 2009 at 07:58PM UTC , Mudkip<3 wrote:

Okay, Pirate wins hands down. Why?

In a one-on-one battle, not some pussy assassination, no, the way to settle it is a one-on-one battle.

Ninja’s weapons – Shuriken, blowgun, the ninjato katana, kusarigama, black eggs

Pirate’s choices – Cutlass, flintlock pistol, blunderbuss, grenado.

The shuriken, despite it’s portrayal in movies, is not effective unless accuracy is deadly. As it’s easier than you’d think to dodge one, it’s not that good of a weapon. Blowgun, when it hits, is effective, but it’s also pretty hard to use in a battle.

Pirate flintlock pistol is easy to miss, and a one-shot weapon.
Advantage? Ninja.

Swords – Pirate cutlass is a deadly, strong, fast, curved sword. Almost nothing beats it.

Ninja – Ninjato is a smaller version of the katana. It’s fast, sharp and deadly.
Advantage? Tie.

Special Equipment – The ninja’s black eggs are shards of glass and burnt ingredients thrown at an enemy. Good for stunning, can not kill.

The pirate’s grenado is basically a grenade. When it hits you, you get hurt.
Advantage – Pirate.

Special weapons – Ninja Kusarigama.
It’s a ball and chain with a sickle on the other end. Despite it’s appearance, it’s a deadly weapon.

Pirate – Blunderbuss. The forerunner for the modern-day shotgun. As ninjas have little to no protection, and pirates have at least leather, it all depends on which special weapon is deadliest. As a pirate can shoot before the ninja can close in, the Pirate will win the majority of 1000 battles, and thus, PIRATES > NINJAS in a battle.
Good fight.

Tomberry
Aug 24, 2009 at 08:06PM UTC , Tomberry wrote:

Tl;dr but i agree with you, lad.
Pirates for the win !

Jostin Asuncion
Aug 24, 2009 at 08:14PM UTC , Jostin Asuncion wrote:

@ Mudkip<3

Oh, you and your Deadliest Warrior references. lol! I think that the pirate and the ninja should have been the ones that were paired off in the show so that we can get an answer and let the spartan and the knight fend off against each other instead. That would be epic but pirates would totally pwn the ninja. ARGH!!

None of these pictures are epic enough. I’ll show you all the most epic P vs. N pic I’ve seen on the net! Prepare to be blown away!

Jostin Asuncion
Aug 24, 2009 at 08:20PM UTC , Jostin Asuncion wrote:

I just noticed something about a certain video game character. Zelda has two incarnations that are a pirate AND a ninja: Tetra and Sheik! Does that make her even moar epic?

Captain Blubber
Aug 24, 2009 at 08:37PM UTC , Captain Blubber wrote:

@ Mudkip, Tomberry and Jostin.

You guys are nuts, Ninjas win.

Now I’m talking REAL pirates of old (not the ones from Somalia, they’re different) and REAL ninjas of old. Because fictional pirates and ninjas are bull honkey.

Real ninjas were pretty lame but were good at hiding. That’s all they needed to do.

Now no many how many awesome weapons the pirate had he had twice as many diseases. Now don’t say that the pirate in the battle doesn’t have scurvy or lice or whatever, because if he didn’t he wasn’t a real pirate.

So all the ninja has to do is hide and eventually the pirate would die of exhaustion because if he slept the ninja would kill him. Plus all the unhygenic crap he’d have to put up with on the boat would do a number on him.

Basically the pirate dies from diseases and exhaustion, then the ninja probably dies like a day later from the pirates diseases but he’s still the last man standing.

Mudkip<3
Aug 24, 2009 at 08:40PM UTC , Mudkip<3 wrote:

You’re WRONG, Captain Blubber.
WWRRRROOONNNGGG
Not ALL pirates had diseases. It’s true, not all. You don’t have to have a disease to be a pirate, that’s bull.
If the ninja hides and kills him in his sleep, he only proved he’s a coward, a pussy, and a wimp who will hide in the battlefield. Any person can kill someone in his sleep, but it takes a man to fight.
Good fight. >.>
Just kidding, no disrespect.

Captain Blubber
Aug 24, 2009 at 08:48PM UTC , Captain Blubber wrote:

I never said ninjas weren’t pussies, they were most definitely pussies.

And pirates most definitely all had diseases, or at least lice. Can you imagine being on a ship full of dirty stinky people with wounds and ebola or God-knows-what for weeks, months, years on end? Di-sea-ses.

No doubt in my mind the pussy ninja would be the ailing pirate.

Mudkip<3
Aug 24, 2009 at 08:51PM UTC , Mudkip<3 wrote:

No, again, not ALL pirates had diseases. It’s pretty much impossible for every pirate that ever existed would be crawling with lice, scurvy, and whatnot.

And, once again, I said in a ONE-ON-ONE fight. Not some pussy assassination. Blunderbuss > Cloth armour.

Pirates win.

Captain Blubber
Aug 24, 2009 at 08:59PM UTC , Captain Blubber wrote:

I refuse to believe this but now there is a cool thread.

http://knowyourmeme.com/forums/1-general/topics/366-are-you-a-piarte-or-a-ninja

Plus it’s 100% possible for all pirates to have diseases.

Jostin Asuncion
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:00PM UTC , Jostin Asuncion wrote:

If you guys are gonna fight about who’s better, do it in my newest forum which was made just for this simple reason (more details about it in the forum itself): http://knowyourmeme.com/forums/1-general/topics/366-are-you-a-piarte-or-a-ninja

Chris Menning
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:01PM UTC , Chris Menning wrote:

Not to mention, pirates had no dental plan. Gingivitis anyone?

Cooper Smith
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:07PM UTC , Cooper Smith wrote:

@Mudkip
The fight isn’t about weather or not a ninja’s brave, its about who wins. Killing a pirate through assassination = win. Ninja’s were assassins, so taking away what they do best is making it unfair.

Mudkip<3
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:10PM UTC , Mudkip<3 wrote:

Uh… no.
Ever notice how all famous pirates didn’t die from diseases?
Blackbeard – Died from fatal slash to the face, then blood loss.
Redbeard, or Barbarossa – Died of old age in Istanbul.
Black Bart ‘Bart Roberts’ – Died in battle.
Stede Bonnet – Executed
Captain Kidd – Executed
Olav Nilsson – Died in Battle
Red Legs Greaves – Natural Causes
Zheng Zhilong – Executed.

I am dissapoint.

Calico Jack – Executed
Anne Bonny – Escaped execution, died of old age.
Black Caesar – Executed

Mudkip<3
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:11PM UTC , Mudkip<3 wrote:

And killing a pirate through assassination = fail.
Take him on like a man, not like a coward.
The only way to determine who’s better is a one-on-one fight.

Jackal Lantern
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:11PM UTC , Jackal Lantern wrote:

You might wanna stop arguing with Blubber about diseases. After all, he is CAPTAIN Blubber. Since he’s a pirate, he probably knows what he’s talking about. Which is gross, because that means he’s plagued with lice, scurvy, and the dreaded gum disease known as GINGIVITIS.

Also, Pirates would definitely win one-on-one, but ninjas would definitely win if they had the element of surprise. That’s why this is such a controversial argument. The fight is anything but evenly matched, and the outcome depends more on outwardly factors than the combatants in question. People try to attribute the skills of ninjas or pirates to their victory, when in reality, it depends mostly on variables such as what time, where at, who saw who first, etc.

Mudkip<3
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:14PM UTC , Mudkip<3 wrote:

Hey, if a Pirate had to kill a ninja by surprise, he could do it too.

Pirate: Oi, sally!
Ninja: ???
Pirate: shoot with blunderbuss

But a ninja can’t beat him in a one-on-one fight, so the Pirate still has the advantage.

@ Jackal, about Captain Blubber: rollseyes

Captain Blubber
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:17PM UTC , Captain Blubber wrote:

Three further points.

1 The most famous pirates are usually captains and captain get the best treatment no?

2 1 on 1 Pirates do win, I admit especially if it’s flat out fisticuffs.

3 My personal welfare is of no matter to you Jackal, though I’d probably be dead if i didn’t eat a meme pixie everyday.

Mudkip<3
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:21PM UTC , Mudkip<3 wrote:

Not all of those guys were captains, but all of them were great fighters.
Blackbeard was savage, Black Caesar was tough, Anne Bonny was cunning, Captain Kidd was ruthless, Bart Roberts was unforgiving and mercyless, Redbeard was wise and strong, Zheng Zhilong was a pretteh cool guy.

Chris Menning
Aug 24, 2009 at 09:26PM UTC , Chris Menning wrote:

Meme pixies! I was wondering what the hell was stuck in my teeth.

Shawn
Aug 24, 2009 at 10:24PM UTC , Shawn wrote:

1. this entry is extremely one sided

2. Pirates and ninjas are equals neither win

3. They wouldn’t fight in the first place since they aren’t actually enemies… it’s a load of bull crap… the only reason people say ninjas and pirates are enemies is because they’re equals… no one wants to see ninjas vs. robots… the ninjas would win to easily…

Chris Menning
Aug 25, 2009 at 12:47AM UTC , Chris Menning wrote:

The fact of the matter is that people only have the “Pirate vs. Ninja” debate because of RealUltimatePower, which was all about ninjas fighting pirates.

zloke
Aug 25, 2009 at 01:44AM UTC , zloke wrote:

well technicaly one of the 9 parts of ninja is piracy cause some chinese pirates got chased out of china and ended up in the swamps of japan and the relligous sect that ninja came from desided why the hell not and the chinese pirates taught tem how to do piracy so in summary ninjas ARE pirates

Jack Smack
Aug 25, 2009 at 06:30PM UTC , Jack Smack wrote:

Yeah, I thought so, they are both nutty!

Lagg0r
Aug 25, 2009 at 07:42PM UTC , Lagg0r wrote:

the whole debate isn’t about who is stronger or better armored, it’s just the amount of awesome that one can think of when he or she hears “NINJAAAA” or “PIRAAAAATE”

it’s easy like this, a ninja has an enormously cool suit, whilst a pirate mostly just wore anything he robbed in the last village and thinked that looked okay

on the other hand pirates are all free and rob people, have boats and stuff, while ninjas are all honorable and all those things with their codex and blah

who is stronger? i don’t care
both are inevitably involved in about 50% of the big pool of awesomeness of the whole world ._.

Adler
Aug 25, 2009 at 08:34PM UTC , Adler wrote:

It would come down to terrain more than anything else.

In a dense forest Ninjas are invincible.
In a clear area Pirates are invincible.

But Ninjas would win anyway because they are Ninjas.

Ninjas Rule!

Lagg0r
Aug 25, 2009 at 08:48PM UTC , Lagg0r wrote:

ganz genau adler

ninjas ftw >:D

Deuxieme_en_pie
Aug 26, 2009 at 03:59AM UTC , Deuxieme_en_pie wrote:

Ninjas ftw!

Myxomatosis ....
Aug 27, 2009 at 07:32PM UTC , Myxomatosis .... wrote:

My birthday falls on National Talk like a Pirate day… So naturally I support the pirates. YAAARRRRR!!!

Bert
Sep 04, 2009 at 12:10PM UTC , Bert wrote:

19 september birthday ftw…
International talk like a pirate day…

Jostin Asuncion
Sep 12, 2009 at 04:10AM UTC , Jostin Asuncion wrote:

This is incomplete without an ED link: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Pirates_Vs._Ninjas

Also, I think that this meme should be renamed Pirates vs. Ninjas, seeing as to how it’s the more popular term between it and Ninjas vs. Pirates. Besides, every website that I go to that refers to them states Pirates vs. Ninjas and not the other way around.

Jostin Asuncion
Sep 12, 2009 at 04:11AM UTC , Jostin Asuncion wrote:

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the much better Wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirates_vs._ninjas

LucySpace
Sep 27, 2009 at 08:02AM UTC , LucySpace wrote:

The date on this can’t be right. The Internet Archive shows 3/5/02. Here’s a picture of us dressed as ninjas attacking a pirate on 5/27/02. http://www.angelfire.com/space/kate/friends/ninjapirate.jpg
Man that was a great day

Selene
Oct 03, 2009 at 02:02AM UTC , Selene wrote:

Ninjas obviously win. I mean, Pirates are pretty much drunks with weapons. If ninjas just use their ninja skillz, Pirates wouldn’t even feel their own death.

Maybe on one on one fights, it would be interesting to see a pirate versus a samurai.

Chi The Cat
Dec 29, 2009 at 09:28PM UTC , Chi The Cat wrote:

Hey, guys! How ’bout them Spartans!

Jukka-Pekka Tuominen
Feb 07, 2010 at 11:05AM UTC , Jukka-Pekka Tuominen wrote:

I don’t know if it actually matters, but isn’t the plural form of “ninja” also “ninja”..
(And not ninjas)

nonda
Feb 21, 2010 at 08:47PM UTC , nonda wrote:

Ninjas will win.

koobaxion
Mar 03, 2010 at 05:06PM UTC , koobaxion wrote:

Naruto vs One piece.

One piece wins.

Crazy Phil
Mar 04, 2010 at 11:50PM UTC , Crazy Phil wrote:

Pirate will win!!! ARG!!

Dr. Crazy
Mar 12, 2010 at 06:17PM UTC , Dr. Crazy wrote:

Pirates would win.
Just pit the two against each other in scribblenauts.

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