Distracted Boyfriend - "I'd Like To Die On Mars, Just Not On Impact"

Look, being one of the first hundred of people to die there would be an achievement on its own. I mean, doing anything there would be an achievement. Like, just imagine being the first to piss on Mars dirt.

There's a lot of people here I'd like to be as far away from as possible. If the mars colony has video games and any way reasonable food I'm taking the first ship off this dump. The biggest problem would be connecting to the Earth internet, your lag would make gaming impossible. Browsing meme sites though, a several minutes delay is livable.